Dad Doesn’t Get Why School Stresses Me Out - So He’s Coming To Classes With Me
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
- Secondary 3 student Wong Shan Ni holds multiple Co-Curriular Activity (CCA) leadership roles and joins external competitions to boost her portfolio. She’s frustrated that her father doesn’t understand her busy schedule and tells her “crying is not a solution” when she’s stressed.
As part of the #OnTheRedDot series My Parent My Classmate, dad Steven Wong attends school with his daughter for six weeks to experience her busy school life.
00:00 Teen thinks dad doesn’t understand school life
00:42 Building her Direct School Admission (DSA) portfolio
03:00 Father struggles in math class
04:15 Stressed over a school competition
05:58 Dad learns to empathise better
Have feedback or an idea for a story? Email cnainsider@mediacorp.com.sg
Watch the #OnTheRedDot series, My Parent My Classmate where four parents venture back into school to reconnect with their teens: • Singapore Parents Atte...
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Anyone else catch that his inability to help her with homework was translated in her mind to not caring about her life in general?😢
I can see why. The dad brushes her off all the time since he cannot help her with homework anymore.
@@Amethyst454 Agreed. If that was the only way they ever talked about her life, and now it's gone, his brushing her off would feel pretty big.
Sometimes it has to be communicated. Ok dad can't help u out but dad will still be here for anything else? It doesn't mean dad can't help with this stage of her life doesn't mean dad can't dad. Or mom for that matter or. It's just what has been edited to show what has been perceived by some may be different from others. But I can see he does care he just doesn't know how to support her and she needs to also tell what dad can do to help. No ?
Yeah it was weird, but she’s a child so of course sometimes her thoughts will be illogical
I used to feel the same way. It was a combination of not taking an interest either.
i feel stressed just hearing her say the word "portfolio"
IKR… she mentioned it a lot of times. Just by hearing it , it makes one stress !!!
thats so real
@@russiasucks7170Agree
@@russiasucks7170me too lol
@@sgamingandmore12right
The fact that her PARENTS are the ones begging her to go to bed and not the other way around says how hard she works.
how dat work?
She wants to keep working but parents in society want their kids to work hard as they worked hard - common in households They see her working too much and want her to sleep cause they worry for her health- not as common in households@@yeetzabois3582
yeah this is pretty common within asians
@@prinzexisalowqualityytber im asian and i don't beg my parents? neither do my friends? idk
i thought most kids(in all races) want to stay up later and parents want to sleep earlier.
Bruh, seeing this just opened my eyes about how stressful is singapore education system. Imagine primary school pupils already worried about so called portofolio 😭
they didn't even show you the real bad stressful part lol.
This is the same throughout China, Korea, Japan, and Taiwan as well which is the suicide rates are so high and birth rates so low
@@PurpleDoritos666 Yeah, I saw a video on what Korean high school students go through, and bruh. I didn't work that hard in GRAD SCHOOL.
@@delphinidinTbf, I feel like primary education (up to high school) is much more stressful than college. The one that makes college so stressful is money tbh, never the activity itself
@anandasatria7734 yeah but grad school isnt college. Grad school is the actual worst. Total mental breakdowns left and right. I stg its just academic hazing. The more awful, the better.
Father dropped the ball when he invalidated her crying. You don't talk to women like that either. It's not about solving. It's about listening and embracing. It's patronising without knowing it.
You don't talk to ANYONE like that period. Crying infront of someone requires another level of vulnerability, but the father is ruining this
@@iamjaydennn Totally agree. And I also understand that social cues like this wasn't a priority back in the old days. From the brief video, he does seem like a good dad. Seems like a single parent too which is wow hard.
@@iamjaydennn Haha lol when these same parents come crying for attention when they're old, slap them back with the "I can't understand"
No la don’t like that take revenge. Sometimes be frank will ease communication with his father. He and maybe us can’t read people minds even family ones.
It's not the right way to talk to anyone, male or female, adult or child. The father lacks emotional intelligence, unfortunately.
This girl has an incredible work ethic. I hope she is able to balance her mental well-being alongside all her other endeavors.
Exactly! Mental health is just as important
She seems stubborn at her age, hopeful she grows wiser that not everything is a race all the time. Either that or we should build more mental-wellness centers for the new generations.
having one of my parents come to school to see why I’m stressed would just make me even more stressed
edit: thanks for all the likes, i never expected this comment to resonate with so many people
especially since my parents are kinda toxic
reallll
First impression is Dad seems like a simple guy that can be fine with a modest lifestyle. Daughter looks like she's hyper competitive and looking to get somewhere. Totally different types of people. Dad would think "how can my daughter do well in school" but the daughter is already doing very well and is thinking "how can I boost my rankings higher for X".
"Go and ask your friends.
Go and ask your teacher.
Why are you so scared?"
This part i related to.
Basically lack of communication. This also happens to me. When I was in 7th grade, I kinda kept my distance from my parents, I didn’t talk to them much. Only to realise how important they’re to me. At the end of the semester, school was horribly stressful preparing for the final test, I almost got into depression. Then my parents step in and talk me out (I’ll spare the details) and then ask the school for literally a week off. After that my mental health improved a lot. Saved me from jumping off a building 😅
I’m glad your parents stepped in, parents are good at this, I was lucky in that I was homeschooled for the first 6 years of my schooling, though we did not know about it at the time I suffer from dyslexia, some things were simple for me where as other things were difficult by the time I got to Junior High School I was able to not only keep up but was moved up a year, I started High School at the age of 10 instead of 11. This was all,because my parents helped. My Dad I went to for help with math issues and me Mom for English, if Gran was visiting she was the one to help as she was on of the top 10 students in Scotland 😹😹she could run rings around both my parents on their good days😹😹
Always talk to your parents they are your best defender all through your years at school and even collage and UNI. Stay strong the world is not going anywhere without you coming along for the ride of your life. I am now 61 and because of my parents I had one heck of a ride through this life of mine. I hope you will have the best ride of your life 🤗🤗🤗
Man u parents did good with that last decision
You are so lucky to have your parents' support through that! 😭💜
I have anxiety (social+general) and OCD, thought I was just shy until it was SEVERE in middle school, e.g. froze and always on the verge of crying when called to answer questions, couldn't read out loud in class, intrusive thoughts when looking at sharp objects. Told mum, begged her to read articles about my conditions - she said I was crazy, she didn't have time, "you read it, why do I have to?".
Love her, but to her this is a taboo. She thinks I can control it... I forced myself to face the fears, did self-therapy, got better. I'm 20 now, and mum's the same after almost 10 years, a bit better as she doesn't get too mad when somehow my mental health is brought up. Conversations will turn into lectures. We never had comfortable serious talks 😭😭 I'd love to go therapy when I'm older and maybe shove diagnosis in to her face lmao 😅
...So I'm very happy to see these stories of people being comfortable with their parents 💜 Love that you guys are treasuring them 💜💜
im glad
She's so responsible, friendly, courageous and mature. But she's still a kid who needs alot of support. She's kinda a perfectionist in a high competition society and that's really hard.
Bro, if this kid don't get some extra support, or at the very least a day off, she's gonna be burnt out by the time she's twenty. I hope she's taking care of, not just her portfolio, but herself as well. And hopefully, her father will step up to the plate to support her better in the future.
Poor girl, when she's working on homework she should mark the places that cause her trouble and come back to them later. That way she at least has most of her homework done if she cannot complete it in time... I remember how hard it was to stay up late doing homework.
i agree! Though i've heared that working on whats hardest can benefit by making it easier to go through whats easy faster
In a crunch time that's not so helpful though- i think she got a mentality of being a perfectionist when in reality excellence is just as valuable for what she wants to achieve
This technique stressed me even more. Most of the time, I could only solve 2 or 3 when i had 7 to 10 problems to solve. I felt like a failure. Doing it sequentially made me feel more in control, even though it took more time.
i wish this became a tv show, parents that complain about their kids not doing well or children complaining about their parents not understanding how hard school is going to school together. it would help the parents realize how hard school really is and be more patient with their kids.
Shan Ni, if you're reading this, it's okay to cry! Especially when you're feeling stressed and too tired to explain your feeling, cry your heart out 😭
honestly, i think secondary school time is when you have to enjoy and not build up your portfolio, portfolio buildup mostly starts in your post secondary school days. the fact that education system has changed drastically from our parents time and the huge changes of modules and system infrastrutre baffles me . As a uni student, my parents always mention that uni was not that tough in their time, but time has changed and we need to know that we aint living in the past anymore.
Lol do your research they see your profolio for 15-18…. 17 is too late to start if u are trying to get into a super good uni overseas etc….
not for asian kids. Nowadays you have to start in middle school if you want to get into a good college. especially in asia.
In America, haven't secondary school always had college-admission profiles as a strong priority?
It's why you have intramural and afterschool and extracurricular activities like 'debate club' and 'french club' or math olympics, football, young business leaders and so on?
I know it's been that way since the 1980s.
If parents said uni wasn't tough, then they didn't take weed-out courses like thermodynamics, real-analysis, o-chem, discrete math, statistics, or calc-II.
In simpler terms, the parents basically admitted that they majored in crayon-chewing.
I’m in secondary school and my parents talk about this with me all the time and it’s so stressful 😭
@@laeticialana yea but u need to learn...
“This is because education is not about competition with one’s classmates but learning through collaboration and teamwork with one’s peers,” he noted.
Except it is a competition. There are only so many seats open in the top schools... and coming in 2nd means they go to a 2nd Tier school full of lower performers.
Even in other countries it's a competition. Where I am, the total points for your final exams is what will decide how high you're going to be on the list of enrollment into university and there are only so many of those and just a few at the top get to not worry about paying a fortune for each half a year of studies. 16 "free" spots in my discipline, I was 17th.
Loved the delicate Chinese dance they did. I feel the young daughter is stretching herself too thin with just too many activities & is burning herself out. This is why some youths end their lives from being too stressed out
She is trying her best to exploit whatever available around her. All the best, and also enjoy your life, girl...
Hope this girl enjoys what she chose to be involved with instead of merely for the sake of "portfolio"
Honestly 😢
The father looking at the math work is every parent fr 🤣💀
In all honestly i feel envy with how her father able to emphatize and atleast learn about her struggle in her life. Yes all parents has their own struggles too, but its really rare to see a parents actually think just how much pressure their kids having. I hope she can have a better life now with no mental health issue because her parents should have understand what kind of hell their daughter been living on.
A hell she created for herself! She takes on way too many activities and because of that lost the joy in life and will be average is them.
@@gardenjoy5223 sometimes its not our choice, its our environment that push us.
If she do it, she will be stressfull, but if she dont, she will be left behind.
I actually agree with you. For Asian parents, the father is one of the rarest. And although I understand the daughter's desire to achieve more, rest is still very important. Also, I see a lot of comment here about how his father cannot respond properly when she's crying or when he can't help her with her homework, but for me I really can't blame the dad. Both of my parents did not graduate high school and cannot help me with my homework. And they both don't know what to do whenever they see me cry because of stress except to say "Don't cry. Just do your best." It's not the response I wanted to hear but I know they mean well and I appreciate it.
@@veenibik336 Not true. She knows how many points she can get for everything. Neglecting the things that give her the main bulk of the points, is putting the cart before the horse.
Her brains are just not developed enough to plan better. The frontal lobe reaches its full potential around the age of 25.
Now she just gives in to peer pressure of people with the same problem.
If she'd concentrate on her main tasks and cut back on all the extra-curriculum, that don't give many points, she'd be getting higher grades on what does matter.
Again: now she just lost the joy in life and she will be average in everything.
@@gardenjoy5223 i dont believe choosing the wrong life path is someone's fault as long as it means good. We all choose depends on alot of stuff, our environment, our teacher, our family, our own though and ect
She was encouraged by her teacher to do this and that for her future, we dont know anything about her family expectation and she want to give the best for her family so of course she would likely to do it
I do agree that is a good solution for that, but why do you expect everyone has the same though as yours ?
Take some time to rest when you can as getting burned out in this phase of life is very common. All the best to your future.
I'm in secondary school. This girl makes it look like I'm wasting my life 😂 She will get into the best universities for sure!👏
And she'll be stressed out an feel incompetent for the rest of her life too.
This time is for developing social contacts. Not for learning some silly, ugly dancing.
@@gardenjoy5223 She is developing social contacts, she just said she can make friends and learn from them. Joining clubs is one way to make friends.
@@gardenjoy5223 who are you to call her dancing ugly??
@@div2608 Someone with taste.
@@gardenjoy5223 so disrespecting other cultures is "someone with taste"
Being featured in CNA will be her latest PORTFOLIO
*Edited: Being
kind of sad when girl that age keep saying about building portfolio multiple times
lol and when she turns 25, the term portfolio would be about her investment sigh. rat race
These are the people who will make it in life while everybody else complains about being poor and living on subsidies.
@@user-oz8kz1we5y higher chance to does not equal to absolute probability. also do not forget the stress and lack of sleep that comes with it that lower quality of life and even longevity
@@user-oz8kz1we5y its wrong to judge how others live their life but do you think she wants to do this or that she feels that she needs to do this? The burnout in these kind of people is very real. While she may "make it" would it be worth it for her? i've heard this story before and often it ends in people taking their own life
i hope what she is doing is from her own will and not because she feels she needs to live up to standards. the same standard you're talking about.
@@user-oz8kz1we5yYour ignorance is hilarious. I’ve known numerous high-achieving individuals in school who have fallen low in life for being socially inept or offing themselves. This girl is on the path to either one. The most successful individuals are not academically-inclined; they are business savvy and have shocking social skills.
kids should remain kids and enjoy their precious time, all this portfolio sh*t comes after school in college and if you have chosen stem field no one cares how much you danced in the school
this could apply if you weren't aiming for a top college.
This sounds like a very American perspective. I could be wrong though
I love how she dances to super shy by newjeans in her dance class!
They change the lyrics into I m a superstress superstress LMAO
@@begezet9380 lol
I remembered being a secondary school student and heading multiple CCAs. I had so much fun but the stress is soo real!
I'm happy this girl knows what she wants & is working hard to get it.
Just a kind reminder to rest, take breaks & enjoy school life.
Her parents are actually v supportive. It's just sometimes hard for parents to see their kids struggle. JY! ❤
focusing on the right things and proper time management is important for the long run. One will appreciate sleep as you age.
I really appreciate and looks up to her will and effort at such -a young age. I didn't even think about portfolio until I was about to finish my undergrad school. She has her dreams and visions about her future and that's actually good for her. I kind of envious because I didn't plan that hard for my future back in my high school days and now I'm kinda regretting it
What a great father who spends time with his kid. The problem I see here is that they need to prioritize on what is the most impactful to her portfolio. If grades represent 80% of admissions, 15% leadership, and 5% extra curccular activities such as recitals. It's best to focus on academics at all costs, then keep the leadership positions but maybe not as active... and cut out the extra curricular activates since that will have a minimal impact on selection. It won't do anyone any good if she gets 60% on academics, 15% on leadership, and 5% on recitals (totaling 80%) vs getting 80% on academics and 10% on leadership, and 0% on extra curriculars (totaling 90%).
That may work for less prestigious colleges, but of your planning on going to the best in your country, you better do those extracurriculars, or else they'll accept someone else who did. 95% isnt always enough
@@thebionicvet8674 I'm not saying they don't do the best in all areas... but if they had to prioritize, then focus on the most important first. It's poor thinking to say, do everything... and end up doing everything mediocrely, vs doing the most important thing absolutely the best. That said, there's always someone smarter, and better... and some kids will never match those with natural 0.1% talent. Some people are destined to washing dishes, and others medical doctors.
Extra curricular activity is compulsory for any higher institution unfortunately. It’s not all about quoted percentages. Partly I think they want to know your brain can adapt to doing more than one thing at a high level and be able to communicate about it. They don’t just want someone who can do nothing but memorise texts on chemistry for example. But they also want to know you’re going to handle pressure. Top institutions are at the top because their (surviving) graduates can do more than one thing. It’s not enough to just have one focus. They might talk the talk about being well rounded individuals and finding healthy balance…possibly there is an element. But it’s also a stress test, because in the real world things don’t go to plan and they want people who can be a bit adaptable. Otherwise no graduate/employee would be of any use.
Them: Where's your portfolio.
Me: What does that even mean 😎.
Resume is probably another similar word. Nowadays you need to prove you are lifelong learner, willing to grow and adaptable. As the focus is now upon being a global citizen, not the citizen of one of one small geographical location, individuals who demonstrate the skill of social mobility are most recognised and valued. Particularly as all economies in the global society are reliant on capitalism and as such humans are viewed as a resource. So be resourceful! 😊
@@kylieharrison3782 yah 😎 but I need a guide and money like they guiding me while they give me money as my monthly income. Meaning I'm working as they guide me and I'm earning...
The fact she's worrying about her portfolio when she's still a young teenager, really just shows how mature and hard-working she is. Crying is very natural, and with the activities and schedule she has, plus her work ethic, it's very common to cry. I'm glad her father understands her life better, because she needs a lot of emotional support. Never give up Wong Shan Ni, and you will achieve new heights! Don't be too hard on yourself though.
Can't believe she didn't have any mental breakdown from all this activities.
I feel really relatable to her. She is so much more mature than me though and has better responsibility even though we are both in secondary 3. I have so much extra curricular activities and my subjects are getting really hard especially a-maths. Everyone in school is talking about university, portfolio, A levels blah blah and it stresses me out. In a few months I will have my IGCSEs
My school is the worst the quiz and exam doesn't have dates so you don't even know you already fail it. And they add charge money for no reason. Sometimes after answering all quiz and exams if you don't have screenshot of proof you answered it. If their system have error and the whole quizzes exams refreshed you need to answer it all over again.
where are yo from? that sounds so unfair.
She's a perfectionist. She's going to have a hard time in adulthood. She should just chill. Most of the time those chill students are more successful in life. Maybe she'll get a high paying job, but she'll have mental or emotional issues to face.
“I fall asleep crying, you turn up the TV” that’s the line that immediately came to my head at the part where the father basically told her to “suck it up”.
When I was in 8th standard I used to be very studious abd my parents were the ones asking me to go to bed and take rest. I was too competitive that when I got 97% in the exam I was rather sad because I didn't rank 1 in my class due to decimal point but now I would say I am just too carefree. I hope that if not that sincere but atleast I become consistent and passionate
I’m so glad that what I went into in uni didn’t require a portfolio or an essay. Just my transcript and the filled out application and boom! I’m in!
Wow what an incredible girl. Like her, I do many activities and hold leadership positions but this makes me feel bad for stressing about American school when it's not nearly as intensive. I wish her the best of luck.
I hope this student comes to the realisation that the portfolio means nothing in the end. All the schools want to see are your grades, and maybe just 1 extracuricular skill you excel in. Nothing else. Don't stress so much about all these school portfolio nonsense, kid. Just be a kid.
Sometimes we should pull back on the structure and let the kids choose.
HIiiiii!!! I am an Asian student but I live in America and I totally relateee!! I do a lot of things like competitions and debate and I have a lot of friends from those too!! But just remember crying is good for you and it will help u release those bad feelings. I cry a lot too and don’t be ashamed of it because it is a solution unlike what ur dad said。Don’t give up!!!!
As a university student with a heavy schedule (if you factor in work, research and clubs) I think I understand my parents better after watching this video.
Why are people making their lives so difficult and stressful with so much work and study? When do we have time to enjoy our lives on the Earth?
That's why people said. Every generation there will be different difficulties, and turns out now it's this one.
Some people enjoy working a minimum wage jobs and some people doesn't.
Enjoy your poor life and unsuccessful career…..
my dad would've been like "you don't have to do all that"
And now you have no career and no future…..
@Devi_Seona that's not how life really works😂 my older sister got in Harvard with 2.9 GPA and only 2 years in the student council..
Sorry, but from what was being shown, Shan Ni is more focused on extracurricular activities for her “portfolio.”
That is why she struggles with the main subjects. She overachieves on the things I consider optional. She feels differently though.
to be honest most schools in recent times no matter how great your grades r if u don't take enough clubs, sports, etc... they will not except u, They want "well rounded individuals" but yea this is way too much in general she needs a break
@@miat1329
That’s sad. Glad it’s not the way schools/students do it in our locality.
Watching this video, I couldn't believe how similarly I feel to Shan Ni. I live in America, but in a very competitive region and I'm also Asian with immigrant parents--all the ingredients for a stressful school environment. Everywhere I look, my peers are striving for greatness with lists of their accomplishments on Linkedin, and I feel like nothing next to them. It's so hard to recognize the hard work you are doing when all you can do is compare yourself to others. I feel like the perfectionism that we are forced to develop will only worsen our lives. Like anything you attempt will never be enough. It's so tiring
i remember shan ni from the my parent, my classmate series!
This is why parents should open their eyes about the PRESENT instead of thinking they went through every hardship when they were young. Not downplaying their hardships, but the hardships are DIFFERENT now. Thankfully, my mum is a teacher sp she sees how hard the environment is for her students and advice us all the time not to take things for granted.
Yup 90s where got DSA what not at least she seems like she understands how to game the system. Study smart not just hard.
any time I hear a parent say "she's been mature since she was young" I immediately feel alarms go off. sometimes it's okay for a kid to mature young but I don't like the implication of parents saying "we don't need to worry about her". Please, check on your children. They're going through a tougher time than you think.
As someone who just graduated from JC, I really don't think our parents comprehend how much tougher it is to get ahead nowadays. Internships before or shortly after you graduate JC are the norm now, especially if you want to go into a competitive course like Med/Dent/Law. Some kids have had LinkedIn profiles since Sec 3 (age 15) - there is a HUGE emphasis (at least from personal experience) on "building portfolio", even if it means going for competitions or internships you aren't super interested in.
Go gurl! But rmb that your identity isn’t based on your achievements👍🏻 I think doing so much for portfolio at sec sch lvl is a bit too much😅 when you come out into working world, ppl ask more about you poly/JC/Uni activities rather than sec sch haha but jiayou
She's preparing her portfolio for JC DSA not for employers. For JC DSA interview, where got poly/JC/uni activities yet?
Tbh, I think this would be beneficial for many people. Personally, I’m doing my A levels in the UK and my dad never did these although he has a degree. My dad spread his education out over a longer period of time, and neither of my parents had any hobbies when they were my age. I’ve spent much of this year applying for apprenticeships (which I’ve finally just secured although I will be cutting my summer extremely short following a stressful 2 years) so my workload has been very high. My dad has spent the majority of the last 2 years insisting that we have family days out on both Saturdays and Sundays and then tells me to take a break from homework and studying in the evenings. He believes that once he has finished work, I should finish. This only allows for 45 minutes of homework/studying every night and even less on a Friday. I utilised my free periods as much as possible, but I was unable to meet these unrealistic expectations. I wish an experience like in this video (although would be nowhere near as extreme as this poor girl with the pressure of her portfolio as such a young age) would be available for more people.
To much enjoy some family time you can't get that back❤
Her English is bussin!👏😌
She is doing so much and i feel like i am not even studying enough, and participating in clubs and extracurricular activities - i am already in college! 😭😭
I really like the fact that she is able to speak fluent english. I am about the same age as her and English isnt my native language, yet i am fluent. It feels so "freeing" and im pretty sure she would feel the same way.
Also, i relate with her in another topic: Bad parents! I was surprised to see how similiar our dads are. Im not going to mention my mom.
Woow I am soo inpressed with her, the school syste there is compleatly diffrent from the one we have in sweden. Here we just read 12 subjects with no cram school afterthe day ends. We also dont really have any after school activites so we get a lot of free time. But I still spend all my time sutyding, which makes me verry exsusted at the end of the day.
I think she needs to understand that crying is a healthy way to let out some of that stress, it´s a lot better than just keeping it inside.
this parent child dynamic sure is atypical. Usually is the other way around XD
why do i relate to this.
especially the part where the parents has to be the one begging their kid to go to sleep.
I often study 'till 10/11 pm if its normal school days, and during exam weeks, i often start studying RIGHT after i got home from school, and then sleep early around 8pm? then wake up at 3am to study (i often set alarms and place an ice bucket next to my bed, so when i wake up, i can easily wash my face with the cold water to wake my senses up.) then ill study until 6am, get ready for school, and head to school.
but if i'm not in the mood to do the 3am technic, i'd study till 1 am. thats the part where my parents would start to get worried and beg me to go to sleep. It irritates me as well, because the only thing on my mind is the stuff/materials that i have to understand & memorise, and if i cant have all of them in my head by the time i have to sleep, it feels like i'm being told to stop studying & my first thought once i lay down on my bed is "will i fail tomorrow?"
Its always the portfolio bro, you should participate in activities you want to or love to. Not just your portfolio, you'll eventually hate yourself.
Unnecessary to go through all this to do well in life
omg not her learning super shy in dance class xD girl I wish this was my life
you achieve only when you sacrifice more, and thats a fact
Nah Singapore is mad crazy on education, you get 99.9 and your considered a failure
Dancing Supershy by New Jeans 😄
*"Life has been very fulfilling, until I turned Grade 6..."*
"Go and ask your friends.
Go and ask your teacher.
Why are you so scared?"
I got a sense of embarrassment from Dad talking about this part because it got to the hard stuff and he didn't know the answers.
for some reason, the moment parents visit the school, we do easy af stuff to nothing
Girlie was dancing to supershy by new jeans at 1:53
I also feel bad that she goes to dance classes for her portfolio, not because it's something she enjoys, she sees it as a responsibility, not as a fun hobby that makes her happy :(
And, very humbly, I want to state that, all this portfolio making process, does not guarantee success in life.
Life is too uncertain. !
In my opinion, the father really tries to emphasize with his daughter, but he's just unable to properly express his feelings.
Working hard just leads to more work. I give this advice to people as someone who earned top grades. It's honestly depressing how a young girl like her is already caught in the entrapment of the rat race where people die of stress in chase of a "better future" only to realize it is just a 9-5 or worse job in disguise that will suck the soul out of them.
"Crying is not a solution."
Yes it doesnt, but crying is a regulator for our feelings 😭
She said that it is important to take up as many roles and activities as possible to build her portfolio but I feel like there is a limit and this may cause to feel overwhelm and overpacked with everything and thus affecting her results as well if she can balance that’s good but that’s like nearly impossible… as just because u have a very good portfolio doesn’t really guarantee a spot results come first
I Was like her, but, guys......don't stresssss out because you have to increase your portafolio. I'm not saying it's not important, but is good to relax and take one thing at time. I'm still learning to not get stressed because of my future. Things like crying in my room all night, not able to get enough sleep, throwing up almost everyday because of the stress, getting headaches, being angry, not eating well and more stuff like this at the time I was a bomb 'bout to explode, make me see things with other angle, visión, perspective, etc.
Im still learning and im a person who regrets not doing things when i got the opportunity, like "I wish i had do this before ". We are young, we have time.
PD. It's sad the fact that Universitys are to pickys with portafolios.
Pd2. Im not SO SMART, i try to. And i get jealous of People like this girls and her portafolio (its a good jealousy, like inspiration) Its just i think that i might not be young enough to increase my poor portafolio.
OMG, what a bible i wrote. LmAO
i actually find her so lucky being able to do all that stuff for me i go to an elite technical highshool i am i 11th grade majoring in electric engineering i wake up at 6:00am get out at 7:00 to get to school at 8:25 and start at 8:30 we have a lunch break from 12:30 pm till 2:30 pm but since i live far away from school and at that time there is trafic a trip back and forth to school would take 4 h so i just stay at the Library study and eat there i either buy some whatever stuff just to eat then we start from 2:30pm till 6:30pm by the way i take the bus i live at the very first stop and the school is at the very last stop and the line is actually from the entry of the city till the end of it so when we finish school i would be home by 8:30 pm ... i get home tidy my bedroom and my desk to study but before since both my parents are working parents i end up having to prepare dinner for our familly of 4 then wash the dishes and it is already 10:30 by then i would be super sleepy but i have to do my homeworks we have 13 subjects and if atleast 2 major subjects give exercises then that would take time .... we always have maths series where we have at least 5 exercises where each has 7 questions plus we have 4 engineering subjects with no textbooks nor any online material so you have to understand in class or that is it but in my country teachers are having trouble with the goverment so they stoped teaching for 3 months demanding theire wishes to be answered so we arwe the victems .... so i had to teach everything to my self by my own with no youtube contect cause it doesnt exist no textbooks nor any kind of material so even if you want to study it is hard i wish i can just study at school so all i have to do at home are homeworks i wish we finished AT 4 so i would still be able to go to my karate and taekwando classes and i would have been able to take music class and learned the guitar like i always wanted to i bought one after saving for it for a year by not eating lunch yet since i barely have any time and i am teaching myself using youtube and stuff i can find inline it is diffcult for me ......... and damn i have finals this year and next year and if i dont get good grades i wont be able to make it into a univerdity in south korea and get a scholarship i want to study computer sience ........ in my country we study arabic french english as fendamental languages some schools do spanish or italian or german as well as 3rd forign language, we have religion education as well we have tests in it aswell as finals ... i study maths physics chimestry and for engineering we have T[ wich is industrual design, and design in general] ADC [ electric calculating and rules] ATC [ nearly the same thing but we learn how to draw the cercuits as well] PE [ wich is doing all what we just said in an actual work wish means doing the hardware and software from programming everything to doing the cercuits in some logicial to doing the desighn in a logicial instead of just drawing it in a paper like T and building the hardware from the cercuit to the robots body or whatever that needs to be build.... and of cource PE CLASS ........ despite my busy schedule i am the students representative at school the president of the education club and the arts club and the sports club and the school trips club and i am in the comitee of the chess club and i am the official writer of the school's magazine and kinda of a schools news paper in arabic french and english both french and english are not my mother language in fact arabic is just the official language but our mother language is cloe to it but not just anybody who speaks arabic can understand us so it was chalenging to do it all my finals are in 16 days and i am super stressed like really and i dont think i can ever forgive my country nor the teachers for ruining my chances of getting in a top uni and getting a full scholarship i mean i am getting 75 percent of my marks by teaching myself but if they did theire jobs i would be getting even more .... and for me to get into those unis i need 80 percent and same thing for the scholarships so yeah i feel wronged i just hope unis would understand... damn i guess i kept it in too long that it is all comming out but you know what yes i am posting it hhhh
She's so cute being so determined 😭😹😹😹
At that age, i wasn't even thinking about my future 😭
Better time now than ever especially since we'll live double the time we've had with a few more prep skills ;D
And people are living much longer than before
in 10 years, what u do in secondary becomes irrelevant...
its okay to cry
More activities do NOT equate better future! U must be confused or mislead
gneration of trying to be good at everything. why not practise one stroke one thousand times instead
You don't understand. I'm only in 6th grade (going to 7th grade next month) and I'm already stressed about university. Due to overpopulation U can't just get into a good uni with good grades so everytime I get even an A- I start crying competition is big these days
@@marimo66666 This is not your generation where you can afford to be so relaxed, especially when y'all enjoyed the benefits of a rapidly growing economy and a less competitive workplace back then, now so many foreign talents. In uni now, many people have a long list of internships experience before graduating, if not how to find job. Your generation had it easy, where internships weren't even a thing. So stop comparing.
In this AI/ML world, if you pigeonhole yourself, your sole skillset might get automated. Just have a look at the poor accountants who had practice their stroke for 30 years, my team during internship automated their work at 80% automation rate at 90% accuracy lol, the AR team probably get sliced by a big bit, those old bones with dino mindset are probably freaking out.
I'd believe the lil girl is smarter than you think, well prepared to face this VUCA world.
Yeah, I'm practicing 3 strokes, double major in accountancy and analytics with a minor in psychology.
this is a perspective of a form3 student in malaysia, also overworking from many many extracuriculars - even if you have international competitions on your portfolio, people will always tell you to take up more competitions. having a long long list of competitions, even if it means reusing projects and overworking yourself impresses people.
we have a point system based on the awards weve gotten from competitions and the ranks of them - its just a race for the points now, people will join low-effort competitions just for some marks. theres a whole sub genre for those kind of competitions (usually quizes), and every competition just starts turning into "but will this competition gain me marks". most people dont join competitions for experience or to learn new things, they just join for some marks, and as someone quite passionate in the stem field and often joins competitions relating to them for experience and fun, its sad to these reduced to just marks. everyone is just competing for higher marks. its a rat race again.
this is just for malaysia tho, idk about singapore@@marimo66666 (copy pasted since i made mostly the same points)
it is though, in the current education. more certificates, achievements, credits, skills and talent to your portfolio gives you higher chance of scoring and getting into a good university. Competition is getting more competitive in each generation. Say two people have the same result in a university entrance exam, the university would rather choose a smart person with good results and a good portfolio rather than just a smart person with only good results. Talents and skills matter a lot now. You'll be much more appreciated by the university.
This reminds me of myself, and my dad. I don't work as hard as her though, but i do work hard for a lot of things in school to the point i was crying one time about math when my exam was near, my dad mindset was exactly like the dad here lol he tried helping me with my work for the first time ever since primary school. My dad never asks me about school, because he knows I'm mature enough to know what to do. And i feel like her too, it's like they don't care about you anymore :)
Because your mature , leave it on your own , don’t need to worry about you that’s all😊
Not everyone is equiped personality wise to teach or explain. My husband had a math and science major but when he tried to help our children with school work, I had to try and understand what he was saying and then interpret it to my children with examples they could understand. On the other hand, I had parents who never helped me and I discovered in later years that they had a poor education themselves and could not understand enough to help but did not want their children to think less of them for it or to believe it would be alright for them to receive less education also. Sometimes the real reasons are not as they appear to us, remember that no one is perfect.
@@lf4061 Thanks :)
What an unfair conclusion, that a parent doesn't care, simply because you get a chance to higher education in certain subjects, than they.
I'd say: distrust those feelings a 100%. They are not true and they are selfish and mean. Go in against such stupid feelings. And yes, I'm female too. I Know feelings. I also know, that they easily lead someone astray. And tell me: what do You do to help your parents get good feelings? There ought to be some balance. They already pay for all the bills, which allow you to study. You might be mature enough to do homework on your own, but you've got a lot of maturing still to do emotionally.
@@gardenjoy5223 Wow, I find it much more disconcerting that you felt it alright to respond to this person in such a personal, mean, and nasty way. 🤨
My parents need to xome to school with me too so they can understand.
🔥
As an asian child who grew up being held up to not only Vietnamese but also Chinese cultural standards, I just wanted to point out one thing. Yes, it's bad that the dad invalidates her crying from the stress but he still shows her support and gives advice like " as long as you do you best and give your all then that's all that matters". Thats soooo much more than 85% of asian parents will do, most parents will never go to your events bc they say they're too busy, and not only do they not gently give you advice when you're stressed, they'll yell at you for being incompetent of handling and juggling your lilfe and emotions. I'm not saying that it isn't bad that she's so stressed the way she is but you gotta understand that in that culture her dad is doing so much more to understand her pov and be present for her than most ever will.
When the dad said that she gets too tied up in solving a problem -- the correct part response should be "OK dad, which parts of math are YOU ok with me failing?" It's not just that homework counts TOWARD your numerical grade, but it forms the basis for what will almost definitely be on the test for that part of the module.
SHES DANCING TO SUPER SHY BY NEW JEANS IN CLASS
If only more parents did this…
its crazy to me how some people think the father is not on the right side
some say for not caring for her
some say bcos telling her not to cry and what is the use of it
Like guys get some knowledge and sense into yalls brain like the father is trying to get the best done for her
whos paying for school?
whos paying for dance lessons?
whos paying for her whole teen life?
its their parents
mainly the father bcos he could be with her when she was younger
and then to those of you who are saying "No one should talk to women like that"
WOMEN?!
SHES A TEEN DUDE AND THE FATHER IS TRYING TO GIVE HER CONFIDENCE THAT SHE CAN DO ANYTHING
AND YALL SAY THE FATHER IS ON THE WRONG SIDE BCOS HE IS SAYING "Whats the use of crying?"
TELL ME HUH WHAT IS REALLY THE USE OF CRYING INFRONT OF SOMEONE? LET IT BE YOUR PARENTS OR FRIENDS OR SCHOOL TEACHERS , CRYING IS JUST A EMOTIONAL FEELING YOU GET WHEN YOU FEEL LOW
AND HER FATHER IS TRYING TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER
AND YALL SAY THATS BAD WHAT TYPE OF 9 YR OLDS ARE YALL?
and its not even a good thing that shes being in everything because even shes saying she gets super stressed is just bad for her
like i accept that father is on the wrong sometimes
but like she needs to learn to keep herself alive
I am just trying to say the father isnt ALWAYS in the wrong
I'll tell you this. unless you're getting a job that requires dancing no employer is going to care. even if you're a national dance competition winner. its not going to help.
so dont force yourself to do extra activities that dont matter in the job.
teachers might tell you to do extra activities and it will help but its not the case.
this is why I never fell into the stupid "leadership" roles, I just find them useless and some dumb way to artificially inflate one's worth at rhe cost of sanity and mental health.
just me trying to get my throwing group mates to work on time at the expense of my own grades is a hassle.
Personally i went into them and i feel i learned a lot more to prep myself for my passions
The dance classes must be fun though, not stressful, isn't it? I think the stress might come because the classes take time and takes away from homework time.
ffs at the rate this is going, p1 kids in 2030 will say i need to build my portfolio so i can be more prepared for secondary school life
fr my cousin does that and he's in P1
I love cats/kittens. 😺🐈😻MEOW! So cute!❤