Thank-you so much for this validating video. I’ve been going thru this for 10 years. My daughter came out 10 yrs ago and my son 4 years ago. It was very hard with my daughter. I had no context. Better with my son, but now two to go through. I have been fully supportive. But the grief was and is real. Just like any grief you grow around it. I love my kids. But the loss of a typical life, no typical future. It’s a thousand little funerals for me. No wedding, no grandchildren. Partners are all they want. I’m at the age where most of my friends have weddings and grandchildren. I go to all the showers etc. I want to celebrate and at least live vicariously. Yet, I can’t have any feelings about it or I am homophobic. It is hard. I move forward, but the struggle is real. I travel a lot to stay busy and have my life. Just not the life I envisioned.
Many G&L people choose not to marry because they feel a) it’s an institution created for straight people, and b) it doesn’t even seem to work so well for them. Others do marry, even after years of swearing they won’t. And many, of course, choose to have kids. Whether there is a ceremony or not, one can still welcome partners into the family as full members. Most couples I know complain their parents like the partner better than their own adult kid. Apart from a single stressful day that most couples, gay and straight, are happy to get over with, the family relationships can be as good - and often better. Could it be that you may have two sons and two daughters - just not in the combos you were expecting?
Sure this can all happen. I said I grieve the loss of the "typical" life. The feelings are real and that is what I am addressing. Day to day and most of all to my children, I don't wear them on my sleeve so to speak. Like I said with any grief you grow around it. There is a sadness at times. @@RandyPaterson
Thank-you so much for this validating video. I’ve been going thru this for 10 years. My daughter came out 10 yrs ago and my son 4 years ago. It was very hard with my daughter. I had no context. Better with my son, but now two to go through. I have been fully supportive. But the grief was and is real. Just like any grief you grow around it. I love my kids. But the loss of a typical life, no typical future. It’s a thousand little funerals for me. No wedding, no grandchildren. Partners are all they want. I’m at the age where most of my friends have weddings and grandchildren. I go to all the showers etc. I want to celebrate and at least live vicariously. Yet, I can’t have any feelings about it or I am homophobic. It is hard. I move forward, but the struggle is real. I travel a lot to stay busy and have my life. Just not the life I envisioned.
Many G&L people choose not to marry because they feel a) it’s an institution created for straight people, and b) it doesn’t even seem to work so well for them. Others do marry, even after years of swearing they won’t. And many, of course, choose to have kids.
Whether there is a ceremony or not, one can still welcome partners into the family as full members. Most couples I know complain their parents like the partner better than their own adult kid. Apart from a single stressful day that most couples, gay and straight, are happy to get over with, the family relationships can be as good - and often better. Could it be that you may have two sons and two daughters - just not in the combos you were expecting?
Sure this can all happen. I said I grieve the loss of the "typical" life. The feelings are real and that is what I am addressing. Day to day and most of all to my children, I don't wear them on my sleeve so to speak. Like I said with any grief you grow around it. There is a sadness at times. @@RandyPaterson
Thank-you for reaching out.@@RandyPaterson
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