The only reason we have a taboo against talking about your wages/salary is to keep us from asking for raises. If we all shared our income with our co-workers, we would be demanding equal pay, and corporations don't like that. Since corporations control the media and our cultural narratives, it's no surprise that we have the idea we shouldn't talk about wages. Same with not talking about politics in polite company. If we all talked about political issues with our family and friends, after all, we would be more informed and less responsive to propaganda.
Agree with salary part, don’t agree with politics... politics are messed up and talking about leads to arguments because some people simply can’t talk about them without getting emotional... not me hhahaha
I mean, kinda.... It's also gauche because it's gross to value people by their salary, which is what you get in the opposite extreme where everybody introduces themselves with a summary of their income and assets
@@asherael But it is really important that we don't NOT talk about salaries as that is how many employers have gotten away from discriminating against women and minorities for long, by making the whole wage thing taboo.
@@kimmcamp oh absolutely. within the workplace, that's ABSO*LUTELY* the case. I agree 100%. I was exclusively talking about why its rude to ask someone how much they make outside of that context, like if you meet someone you don't work with or something. Within the workplace, that's *exactly* the case
It’s illegal for employers to tell employees they aren’t allowed to talk about wage… despite this, I strictly remember signing a form saying I won’t discuss wage with co-workers.😬
NTA the boss chose his fate when he chose to lie on ur partner. Keep in mind this family was more than willing to let your wife go to jail for a crime she didn't commit.
To the woman who fired the babysitter after she unknowingly drank on the job, OP is damn lucky the babysitter's family didn't call the police to report you contributing to the delinquency of a minor! Oop, he just read that part now. Yeah, count your blessings OP. YTA!
Markee. When they say "In no condition to drive" that doesn't just mean drunk. It can also mean he's tired. Driving tired is just as bad or sometimes even worse, it all depends on the distance, than driving drunk. I've seen dash cam footage of someone falling asleep at the wheel, the driver was heading home from work at 4 AM and passed out at the wheel and went into the ditch, and they were lucky that they were both on a relatively empty highway, there were still some people in case they got hurt, and being in the right most lane.
While that's true stepfather smelled of alcohol. I know nothing about DJ's but I doubt they are supposed to drink. Then being banned from Uber says a lot about thia guy. I don't think the reason he needs a ride is just that he's tired. Maybe having a few on top lf being tired maybe.
exactly what i thought, i don't even drive if i feel sleepy because i know my limits and i think it'd be just as dangerous as driving drunk imo. he's so quick to assume the worst for no good reason
@@darnellafrance3591 Then get a different job that doesnt require you to make you 16 yr old go out at 4 am to get you. Also its kind of difficult to get banned from Uber, so hes doing something.
I know this was a year ago but like... Yeah, that's exactly why making a 16 year old stay up until 4am driving is such a momentous dick move. And the stepfather confirms that her driving WAS affected! She shouldn't have been out on the road at that time and could have killed them both driving tired... and it would have been his fault. (And her mother's.) To make matters worse, he completely dismissed the notion that she could have actually been tired and tried to say that she was just being dramatic. The amount of negligence and asshole-ry from that singular sentence alone was shocking tbh. And the mother just glossed over it, yikes. In general: Yeah, don't drive tired. It is just as dangerous as drunk driving and the fatality rate is just as bad.
Not giving transplant: Your significant other comes first. Boss and family did not protect your family so you had to and therefore were unable to follow through on your intent to donate your organ. This is not on you. Your partner needed you, you were right to make that your priority.
Except in the Monty Python skit, one only donates a PIECE of one's liver, which grows into a complete organ just like a plant cutting grows into a complete plant and the owner's trimmed liver regenerates. Maybe in China they they take the whole thing from disdents.
WOW for the dad being resentful that they're gonna have another girl!!! Huge, total AH! I'm surprised that no one brought up the fact that the father (sperm supplier) is what determines the sex of the child! Walking out not only hurt his wife but embarrassed her. It also disrespected her, the daughter and every one at the party, female and male. What an ass!
That mother said "It's not my fault you got drunk!" but.... it WAS. She knew her babysitter liked seltzer water, stocked her fridge with alcoholic seltzer and didn't tell her about it. OP's TA, for sure.
Yeah this woman was a real piece of work. I hope the raise came with a huge apology and she does some serious self reflection. How would she have felt if this had happened to her kid. Especially if she was very certain they were the kind of teen who wouldn't do something like that. I have other issues too. She should have at least tried to get out of work when the girl said she felt ill. What if it were something major like her appendix or something. Plus who would call and say they felt ill if they were trying to sneak alcohol. Letting the girl walk home drunk was also a crummy thing to do. Even if she suspected her of drinking on purpose they should have made sure an intoxicated 16 yo made it home safe. I would have been horrified, double checking how many seltzer waters she'd had to make sure wasn't going need medical attention.
I’m literally. In shock ! She is 16 ! You are an AH ! Your a horrible person too ! I can’t believe you would talk to a 16uear old like that , especially knowing she comes from a hard life .
Also, just letting yourself into a room after the person inside has clearly said, "I'll be out in a minute," so you know they're attending to private business of _some_ kind in there is also majorly overstepping. It doesn't matter if they're wanking, pooping or wrapping your birthday present, a closed door says, "Please give me some space."
I wonder if there was an inheritance or life insurance policy on the guy dying from liver failure? His wife might have had a good reason to frame the partner of the donor.
I make $200k a year. I definitely will not let many people know that, including my family on my mother's side. It isn't about pay transparency within the business I work for. Anyone can look up my salary online because of my job. But I don't feel comfortable sharing that information outright because I don't want to deal with the drama. I'd probably share it with my dad's family though because they would just be proud of me.
Also, putting that info out there can bring people out of the woodwork who have great “investment opportunities” or “really worthy causes” or just generally feel entitled to your money.
OK, and...? None of what you just said makes OP wrong, here. That was her family, and all she did was answer a simple question. I can't think of anyone I know who would refuse to do the same in her position. How's THAT for awkward dinner conversation? "By the way honey, congrats on your new job. What's your salary at the new place?" "I will _never_ tell you that information!" ... Likewise, I can't think of any reason whatsoever why her father would fly into a seething rage over something like that. It's just plain bizarre, as well as being obviously inappropriate and downright crueI.
If my sister had sent me I needed to write a 500 word essay on "why I want to go to her wedding" for a chance to be invited , I would probably just have sent: "If you want me at your wedding, don't pull this kind of prissy, manipulative, narcissistic, self-gratificating, egotrip fueled, Karen-esque, bridezilla from hell kind of bullshit, just send a damn invitation." followed by the word "Filler" repeated ad infinitum to fill the word quota. Fortunately, my sister is actually sane.
Cutting off too much hair. My god this broke my heart. OP is a massive AH! My SIL did this to me when I was 13. I had hair to my waist, loved it, took good care of it and was proud of it. I was spending a month in Calif with my oldest brother and family, he was getting out of the AF at the end of the month. I was to help with their 2 kids especially on the drive back to upstate NY. She took me to her friend to get my hair cut, lied to me that my mother told her to do it. She also lied to my brother when he asked about the haircut. I swear I looked like the little boy on the Dutch Boy paint cans, because it was indeed a Dutch Boy cut. When we finally got home she told my mom it was what I wanted. Boy oh boy, did it hit the fan when she reached to pet my hair, I lost it started crying and shouting at my mom for forcing me to cut my hair. The truth came out that it was all my SIL's idea because 'she liked short hair'.
For the 500-word essay, OP should write "Food and booze" until the limit is satisfied. LOL. Then OP's parents can't complain that she didn't fill it in.
Or maliciously comply and write an essay on how fun it shall be to go wild on the buffet, dance floor, and drink, and maybe throw in more embarrassing embellishments.
Disagree. It's trashy and also could put you in danger. It makes you a target for robbery. Because a lot of people feel justified robbing someone who they consider "has more than enough" or "makes more than enough" even friends. They feel entitled since you make more and they start wanting you to pay for everything when you hang out ect. Not everyone is like that obviously but enough people are like that, even people you wouldn't think would be, that it just isn't a good idea for your own safety and relationships. Unless of course it's someone you really trust to not try to take advantage of you. People with money and good manners never speak about how much they make and you will be ostracized in a lot of circles for talking about it. Just giving a warning. It's social suicide to speak about exactly how much you make in a ton of circles.
@@WhitneyDahlin that’s a lot of anxiety you got there. When it comes to everyday people, sure don’t go telling everyone you meet. But with your coworkers, in a professional setting? Y’all should talk so you can properly negotiate wages.
Honestly, I probably would have never agreed to the transplant in the first place. Surgery terrifies me, and they would be cutting through the bones of your ribcage to get to your liver, and then you would have to go through recovery and live the rest of your live with diminished liver function, and for who? Not my sister, not my father, not my best friend, just my GF's boss.
the fact they pulled out the property stake is 10 steps too far, that is absolutely wrong and action 100% needs to be taken. You know that a super ugly property dispute could be coming in the near future. And doing nothing now will spell doom.
@@kimmcamp but, did you know what every single beverage containing booze looked like? Because I've been around a long a** time, and even I don't know what every single new beverage looks like. Hell, my husband is a recovering alcoholic, and in his hey day before he got sober, HE didn't know every single option available to fuel his addiction. If this were MY 16 year old, I'd be dragging you down to the police station on contributing charges, and reporting you for various labor law violations. Therapy would also be paid for out of someone's pocket, and it wouldn't be MINE.
Consistently mowing your property without your permission can be considered a step toward adverse possession. Get those property pins replaced legally and immediately and file a complaint to begin a legal paper trail on them. You may need to send a legal document to prove you have asked them to stop.
Adverse possesion is not so easy as people think. Laws have changed in the last 20 years. Most states with lower years ( 5 ) , also require you to pay the property taxes. The others are 10 to 20 years. Some are 20 years and taxes. www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/state-state-rules-adverse-possession.html
they denied any possibility of getting a dog for more than ten years, and as soon as op moves out, they decide they can now get a dog? like the only thing that prevented them from getting that dog was her presence?? op has every right to be pissed off. if they had maybe got one after a few years, that could be understandable. but right after she left?? come on. they suck.
Normalize telling people how much you make. The fact that people feel it’s taboo to talk about salary makes it harder to point out salary discrepancies. A wage gap does exist and talking about how much you make is how you can help fix that issue.
If I was the OP from the marriage store, my essay would just be "Your my sister, I love you....but either invite me or not....why do I have to write a essay to be included in your wedding? Mom and Dad are making me do this. This is dumb!" Over and over, till it reaches 500 words.
Wife killed her husband. The second story, wow. They could have kids all have all girls. Then what? Gamer story: that’s on the guy for making that assumption she was a guy. He should have asked before assuming, and yeah he needs help. No wonder he’s having problems getting girlfriends.
#1 - I got that vibe about the wife too! #3 - One word: Incel. #4 - Nobody commented about how lucky it was that nothing happened to the 16y/o babysitter when she was forced to walk home while drunk, confused and feeling ill. It sounded like she came from a poorer neighborhood (who knows how far away)... she could have passed out, gotten assaulted, gotten lost, had alcohol poisoning, or God knows what else...
@@wickedgreen1784 Not only that, but she deliberately told that poor babysitter to get out and AND LEFT THE KIDS UNATTENDED. She doesn't say how long it was between her kicking the babysitter out and when she got home, but it surely must have been a good long while. Also, she clearly didn't "just forget" to buy seltzer for the babysitter after two months, she simply got annoyed at having to buy even that one minimal little thing for her, and didn't want to do it anymore. Just like OP "forgot" seltzer was her favorite drink, and "forgot" to tell her that the ones in the fridge were alcoholic. I dunno why that particular detail bothers me so much, I guess there's just something about how casually and flippantly she lied about it. It really shines a light on her unwillingness to accept even the _tiniest shred_ of responsibility for what happened, even though it's 100% her fault! Even at the end of it all, the way she refused to apologize for what was CLEARLY the result of her own negligence and not the babysitter's, was the most Karen thing that ever Karened. Karen². Actually, no, it's even worse than that. What OP did transcends Karenhood altogether, to an even higher plane of putrescence the likes of which no mortal language could ever hope to describe.
With the dog one, I feel like there was a lot more going on than just the dog and them getting a dog after denying you one for so long was the straw breaking the camel's back and the thing that made you realize you don't want to be part of their family anymore and that they were excluding you in a lot of other ways.
I’m a woman who plays video games and I rarely open my mic because some guys will often say absolutely ridiculous and nasty shit the second they hear they’re playing with a woman, or they’ll get overly nice and ask personal questions like age and looks. For those reasons my DMs are now closed to everyone but friends and my gamer handles are gender neutral. That way people tend to just assume I’m a guy and leave me alone. Just saying it after hearing the story around the 21:13 mark. Our situations are somewhat different of course since her name just so happens to be unisex but he still just assumes she was a guy, he never asked and she had no reason to tell.
The second story. Good for your brother for adopting a child. She may not be “blood” per say. However, she is still a member of the family. Shame on those parents for denying the love of a grandchild.
In the dog story, I think that after the parents realized how they differentiated their children, they should've apologized sincerely for their past behavior but also let OP know that they were still going to get the dog because they'd already committed to it to the younger children that they would.
To the lady who’s having problems with the parents. Your brother and you need to take a time out from your parents. If they cannot treat that beautiful little girl and give her the love she deserves, they don’t deserve to be in your lives.
'A son to carry on the family name'? What if OP's brother and SiL did agree, then had a girl, what then? They get badgered into trying again? Its another girl; this family now has 3 kids and the emotional and financial difficulties that come with it. And grandparents are still on them to give them a son
@@SH-qs7ee There was one of those little video things on Facebook it was like fabulouso diet I think. Either way it was a cartoon where the husband kept pressuring the wife to have a boy 5 kids later and still no boy all girls.
The story in 1:54:13 makes me grateful that when my period became insane my mom wanted to get an appointment immediately but I wanted to wait it out. That was around two months ago and we went to an appointment and now I'm taking medications
Did the OP ask the crazy dude she was online gaming with why he never told her he was a guy? She should've turned it completely around and accused him of the same exact thing. I didn't know it was a requirement to identify your gender when you meet someone online. If it was a dating app, ok. Everyone should be entitled to not being catfished, so naturally one would expect the person with whom they were talking to immediately reveal their gender and gender preferences, so that no one wastes time on something that's not going to go anywhere. But that's quite different from this scenario. It's not automatic to announce "Oh by the way I have a vagina" when there's no chance either party will be dating or hooking up with the other.
@@Jjam7309 Where does it imply that? I thought it was just typing in a chatroom. And I'm pretty sure he never gave her the opportunity to ask him anything anyway, he was too busy cussing her out to let her get any questions in. Even if she had though, I doubt he'd have bothered to notice or care to answer her, anyway. Honestly, this story just made me feel exhausted. It makes me feel that way because we get this garbage from guys all the time, it's seriously so common to get abuse just for BEING a woman. Yet every time we try to open up about it like OP did here, like clockwork, all these other guys start questioning her and will even frame it like his reactions were understandable, as if it's somehow HER fault for not proclaiming her gender to every single person she comes across like a total lunatic. "Hello, I would like to chat with you, however before we continue, I need to tell you that I am in fact a woman and not a man. Is that ok with you?" I mean, you see how bizarre that sounds, right? If she did that, nobody would talk to her cuz they'd be creeped out. You may as well say "Hello, I am woman, please do not incorrectly conclude that I am not-a-womans whose flesh receptacle contains anything other than two bumps and three holes, for that is my configuration. I say this out of courtesy to you as a token of our meeting so that you do not mistakenly mistake me for a not-a-woman, as many not-a-womens wish to avoid any interactions with a womens, as clearly, the status of my gender renders all other aspects of my personality, interests, experiences, and ability to hold a conversation as completely irrelevant. Therefore, it is crucial that you are preemptively informed of my womens-ness before we engage in distanced text-based communication. This is perfectly natural human behavior of humans humaning."
@@WobblesandBean I'm FtM and when I played Overwatch when it first came out, just, oh gods. How some people reacted to hearing a feminine voice in general, especially from a Mercy main :') Also, I wish others would consider that kinda common for guys to scam other guys by pretending to be women in games. I even knew a guy in highschool that asked me to come over to his place to really sell it on mic so he could get free shit on steam. If you just open with "hey I'm a woman!" or even try to explain later, not only do you open yourself up to creep shit, but they could also just cuss you out for "trying to scam" or some shit like that. It's certainly not every gamer dude, but there's enough like that to make it too big of a risk for many. I mean I've also been harassed in WoW for being a queer man for literally no reason, online game chats are just way too much
For the wedding essay, I would put down 500 words on why I think that this is BS and you are only submitting this essay to appease the family and aren't going to the wedding anyways.
1st story NTA the boss framed OP's girlfriend and got her arrested. OP did nothing wrong, I would point out that the boss lied about the girlfriend and framed her. She could have gone to prison for that.
That is suicide, don’t worry about it... Even if your gf. did it, they really timed the report perfect. If someone is a murder it is the owners wife.for getting OP s gf fired and the following colleteral damage. 🎶🎶Murder is the case they should give her🎶🎶 👮♂️🤷🏻♀️
15:59 Use cut and paste: "I have no interest in writing an essay to 'qualify' to attend your wedding, on top of spending on tickets, rooms, food, a gift for you, and transportation." Nine times cut and paste that. Boom! First essay complete! For the second essay: "After the way you and our parents are hounding me on the requirements for attending and how I had BETTER attend regardless of how I may feel about attending, I'm feeling VERY tepid about attending at this point. Maybe you should give higher priority to choosing your attendees in another way." Only need 5 copies of this one. There you go! You've got your MC firmly in place.
As a long haired chick: yes, absolutely the AH if you cut more than we agreed to let you cut. OP is HUGE AH. I'm glad she finally understands but my gawd, this was my childhood over and over and listening to these stories and hearing other people's opinions is therapeutic to me, that I wasn't crazy for the feelings I've been made to have as a child
Just because they said it's a girl on an ultrasound doesn't mean that it's actually a girl. One of my cousins was told she was having a girl. Day of delivery it was a boy. I am a girl & I am not scared of bugs.
Unless her parents hyphenated their last names, the mother gave up her family name. Did she not? Even worse, if the couple does have a biological child later ( boy or girl ), we now know the grandparents will play favorites.
People who morally object to their partners having a right to a solo sex-life are super-controlling. As long as it's not coming at the expense of their interest in _you_ , what business is it of yours whether they stay sensually self-connected or not? Mind your business.
being straightforward with what you make is so important for worker's rights and equality. It's a big taboo in most countries, but it's only favouring the employer.
1st Story: NTA, Why do I feel that boss and wife was dipping into funds because of medical expenses and when accused, they used your girlfriend as a scapegoat.
22:22 This exact same thing happened to me. Gather 'round everyone, it's storytime! Like OP, I met a guy on WoW world chat, looking for a PUG and eventually we both joined a chat server to coordinate during raids. He and I would chat a lot, he was a cool guy and our dark senses of humor aligned pretty well. He never asked my gender, and that was fine by me, it wasn't relevant and I didn't think anything of it, since nobody in the chat group ever asked each other anything personal about ourselves. Learned the hard way why that is; turns out in the absence of definitive information, gamer guys just sort of assume that any well-spoken, competent gamer is another man. Then one day through casual conversation, this in-game buddy of mine had said he wished he could find a gf who didn't complain about his excessive gaming habits, and I mentioned how lucky I was cuz my bf at the time also played WoW, and so both of us understood what a time sink it was. He was puzzled and asked if I was a woman, to which I obviously said yes. He. LOST. It. He began cussing me out, called me every horrible name you can think of, accused me of being a deceitful, manipulative liar. I feel like I need to reiterate (cuz I know someone out there is going to say something if I don't) that there were no lies, he just never asked, no one did. It really wasn't important at all, we only coordinated in-game to raid together, we got along great and worked well together and that's all that matters, or so I thought. The cherry on top was his statement that I was yet more proof that women shouldn't be allowed to play video games. Now, dear reader, I should tell you that I am not only an avid gamer, but at the time of the incident I had worked in the games industry for 11 years, three of which were spent at Blizzard itself. And I can tell you quite confidently, that his behavior is sadly not uncommon for gamer guys. I'd even say it's normal, in the sense that even though most guys aren't going to leap down your throat for being a woman, the majority of men I would speak to voiced their suppoer nd understanding of the men who did. They can be some of the most toxic people on the planet, and I eventually got sick of the constant harassment, belittling, and total inaction from HR, and left the industry altogether. I even quit WoW not long after this incident, when all the guys in my guild who I THOUGHT were my friends took this dude's side! They accused me of "infiltrating men's spaces" and claimed I had "violated him". Like...seriously? Nobody in the PUG chat ever asked each other's ages, genders, ethnicities, etc, all that mattered was how well we played. But because I didn't come into it shouting my non-man-ness from the rooftops, I was seen as "spying" on the menfolk. From then on, any time we raided, I got blamed for every last little mistake. At one point the tank deliberately lost aggro on a large group of mobs and blamed it on me, even though I was a Hunter and had a specific ability to exit combat mid-fight to prevent that exact thing from happening. One week I was their most valuable DPS and mob puller/leasher, the next, I couldn't do anything right in their eyes. I know I'm going to be called out on staying, but keep in mind I was really desperate for things to go back to normal, and I just wanted to play the game. We made a good team, it's super hard to find a good PUG group and before for the ridiculous meltdown over my gender, we got on really well. But I guess couldn't get over the "betrayal", cuz within a month I got kicked out of the chat server and blocked in-game by everyone in the group. The guy went on to join the #3 raid guild on our server, which was strictly men only.🙄My own guild was #1, but I left to petition #2 because I couldn't be around my guildies after that, not after discovering how much they looked down on me just for being a thing with two bumps and an extra hole. I found out long after the fact that they'd only let me in to begin with cuz one of the officers was a friend of mine who vouched for me (which he'd promised me he wouldn't do, I had asked him not to reveal that we knew each other because I wanted to get in on my own merit, he knew this). I have many, MANY other horror stories involving s,,ual harassment, hostility, _and even stalking_ during my tenure in the industry. I don't get it, I really don't. I used to hear all the time "man, I wish I had a gamer gf", but then whenever they find an ACTUAL young woman who's a hardcore gamer, they treat her like garbage. For real, do straight men even LIKE women?
You're never the asshole for backing out of an organ transplant for any reason at all ever. Contrary to popular belief, your own quality of life drops due to those. Especially kidney transplants... The person getting the kidney will just need a new one in a few years (8-10), and so will you...
Everyone here is missing one thing, concerning the child, by the time op told anyone (her mom) she was already close to dying and the child was already older and only knows one person as his father. Had she told op when she was pregnant or just had him then op should have then told her to tell him but she didn't even know until shortly before the mother was dying/ in a coma. Do not tell him die with that secret op. Him knowing does nothing but hurt them both. Parents are most often not matches for transplant siblings are better matches even half siblings. This will only cause the husband and child more pain. Him knowing right now is not going to help him or that child only cause them more pain. Why cause them more pain right now.
Oh, so none of his feelings matter? It doesn't matter that he was opening up and pouring his heart out to someone he believed was male in a way most men will NEVER do with any woman ever? It doesn't matter that this guy's world was destroyed and now he's terrified that some random girl knows his darkest deepest secrets when, as far as most guys believe, girls tell 100% of everything they hear to 100% of their friends and are thus not someone to tell anything to that you want to stay private? Fuck you. Male feelings matter. Male emotions are valid. Women are not always automatically correct, and while yes gaming with random matches isn't social when you're grouping up with the same people to play games you NEED to tell people what you are because social groups require certain base knowledge to keep EVERYONE in them comfortable. You may be all "But guys should open up to girls toooooooo!" Yeah well, they don't. That's how reality *is* Just because it should be otherwise doesn't make it otherwise. You need to deal with reality in the way it is, not the way you want.
I actually laughed at the "buff short 5'5" lumberjack man" because that's literally my boyfriend. He is buff, 5'5", and does tree work. People joke because I am 5'10" and a lot taller in heels but I love him haha.
I let my husband hear this & he said it's the guy's wife's fault she stole the money so it is 100% her fault he died. And you need to file a complaint against the wife & family, friends of the man as this is harassment and wrong the only one at fault is the WIFE. YOU are definitely not the ahole
Markee, we need to talk about the beard. It makes you look like the type of guy who spends an hour each day deciding on which of his 18 Nickleback shirts to wear.
He might like it or might be between the next to no hair and really hairy beard stage. Not really up to anyone but him what he looks like. Personally as a girl i don't notice it as his eyes are what draw me in first.
The male heir story - grandma doesn't know how chromosomes work. The gender of a baby is up to the father. What if his sperm decides to give the child an X chromosome instead of a Y? Would grandma demand they keep having bio children until a boy is conceived?
OK the story with the uncle how was it rude for you to answer his question. Tell your cousin, tell your sister, if you don’t want the truth. Don’t ask me a question. How about how rude it was for your uncle to ask how much money you make. How about how rude it was for your uncle to say no 23-year-old should be making that amount of money. How about how rude and ignorant your uncle was. If you want respect in life you need to give it bottom line!OK can anybody says well you should’ve said how much you back that’s a mistake bullshit. If you don’t want to know don’t ask the likes questions!!
In the mom vs brother/sil story I wonder what they would say to me. I have a genetic disorder that can cause serious medical issues. It causes non cancerous tumors and MANY other medical issues. With this disorder I have a 50% chance of passing it on, I decided when I was in high school I didn't want to risk that but REALLY want to adopt eventually
About the organ story: wife admitted to stealing and setting up OPs partner to take the fall bc wife probably wanted husband dead, for insurance or something, and is using OP & partner as scapegoats. Wife probably knew her late husband’s character and knew presenting him with “evidence” he would take action against OPs partner, even tho she was in intimate connection to his life-saving organ donor. You’d think the wife would let “things slide” at the very least until after the surgery as to not jeopardize things/“rock the boat” before the procedure. I’m probably just reading too much into things.
the whole pregnancy infertility thing... I HATED that time of my marriage where people asked. So much. For most of it pre-twins, we *were* actively trying. and then after the twins were born, I went through testing to see if I'd be likely to have multiples if we tried again. It was likely, we made the decision to not have more... and people are STILL ASKING when the boys will get siblings/when I will try for girls/they'd be great big brothers. They're almost nine, I'm 36, why is this still a thing
I don't know why, but I just love the Aussie accent, and slang. I know there's probably many types of Aussie accents, like there's different American and British accent, but the one you have is my favorite. I love listening to Reddit videos, and having an Aussie doing makes it even better.
The babysitter that drank the seltzer has trauma related to alcohol and never wanted the experience. That’s a big deal the comments overlooked. Yikes $100 a week.
1:13:00 Oh get over yourself, woman! He did nothing wrong, let the poor man alone to do his thing. And don't even sit there and try to pretend you don't do it, too. 😂
For the salary story, it’s not like OP shat on their uncle for having a crappier job or that he had it easier compared to them. She stated that she worked hard at her job to deserve her salary. Furthermore, her saying that few people can do their work isn’t the same thing as saying that a brain-dead lemur could do whatever job the uncle has, which seems to be what the cousin thought OP was implying. NTA
Story about the kid hit by a car Holy shit NTA Who doesn't answer the phone when it's been called back-to-back for hours while you're simultaneously looking for you missing child, and then your brother (who should've been made aware you were missing as well) just turns away the friends at the door. The whole family is trash. I can see why you would never put them as emergency contacts, Jesus christ.
OP is totally YTA. I get he wanted to have a boy, but a girl is just as nice. If he wants to " blame" anyone, it should be himself since it was his DNA that decided the baby should be a girl. Though I think he has a right to be upset if he is but I think expressing it at the gender reveal party was not cool and I feel bad for OP's wife and her sister whose father abandoned them it sounds like just because they were girls. My dad has 6 girls and no boy. He always tells us he wouldn't treat a house full of boys for one of us. OP needs to grow up.
Let me fix the first story, OP wrote it wrong: Some person who has barely any connection to me needed a piece of one of my organs. I agreed, even though I didn't owe him anything and my inaction wouldn't have been an immoral action. He then tried to screw over my significant other,, my one connection to him, for extra cash shortly before the surgery. So, I decided that he didn't give a shit about me, even after I agreed to go through with a dangerous procedure to save his life despite not owing him anything, and changed my mind on doing it for him. His family is now harassing me, a total stranger, for not wanting to risk my life for someone who tried to ruin my SO's life, and by extension my own. AITA? Fixed it for the OP.
Having to write an essay to attend the sister's wedding: OP is not the A**hole. The parents are wrong to side with the sister. The sister is setting herself up to having a large percentage of people who were invited not responding to the new RSVP. If OP doesn't want to attend for whatever reason, then the parents are wrong to try pressuring OP to go. (My parents used to pressure me to attend/participate in functions. I ended up resenting them doing so, becoming a homebody, and not wanting to attend weddings, parties, graduations, and reunions.) OP should write their feelings about the essay and the parent's support of the idiotic essays and send that to the sister.
NTA! What’s to say that the surgery would have gone thru. Also the boss’s body wouldn’t have rejected your liver. Don’t beat your self up over this. Good on you for getting help.
Ring lady- NTA. Honestly your point is valid and I can understand how he doesn't quite see why it's not okay to be giving the woman he loves a ring he bought for someone he thought he was going to spend his life with previously. A ring should be a symbol of your relationship and doesn't have to be expensive by any means. Just... not your ex's ring.... every time OP looks at what should be something that makes her happy/excited she will likely only see the fact that you loved someone else enough to buy this beautiful ring for them prior to your relationship. I know we all have pasts but OP probably doesn't want to be reminded the bf/fiance was almost married to someone else every time she looks at her hand... I don't think he's an ahole but I think he really just didn't understand why it shouldn't be done. Hopefully this won't be too much of a hiccup in their relationship! (Some people also see this as bad luck for the relationship) Edit: I paused before Markee's 2cents on this one (helps me figure out what to type lol) and he hit the nail on the head and summed up what I said much better haha
NTA. Your sister appears to have bumped her head because she has lost the ability to differentiate between a classroom assignment and a wedding invitation. In reality, this is her way of not having to field upset from half her original guest list. Is the person throwing this shindig, it's her responsibility to create the guest list. It is not an invitees job to write an essay why they should be considered worthy to be chosen to attend. Stick to your guns. Or if you do not want your parents going off at you for not writing essays, then write two essays which incorporate your feelings on how inappropriate the whole thing is and on how you're writing these essays under duress.
Lol. I always knew I was a woman! I will need to use it. I'm infertile & am broad on my explanation. But when I get more questions I say ”I think it's inappropriate to ask so many questions about my vagina and it's coming and goings" Mom and husband think it's inappropriate. I feel this might b better.
The OP shaming her husband for masturbation is very immature unless they have a specific religious reason to abstain. YTA. He's her partner not her property.
I owned three foxes. We kept them outside and a good distance away from the house just because the smell of their urine is so potent. It's nothing like a dog or cats. It's more akin to skunk spray. I completely understand where that wildlife refuge owner was coming from. I never considered returning my foxes, but that's because I had the land to deal with the issue and I did plenty of research beforehand on what kinds of issues most people have when they get pet foxes, not just how to care for them.
Anyone feel people were way too harsh on the dad who sold the ps3 ? Pretty sure he’s just a boomer that don’t know how consoles work and thinking it was just a straight upgrade.
Honestly, if my sister demanded essays to attend her wedding, I would just copy paste the sentence, "I'm your only sister." However many times it takes to reach the word count.
Most American diners (not specialty restaurants) have almost the same menu, give or take a few items. Eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, etc for breakfast; salad, onion rings, potato wedges, etc for appetizers, sandwiches, soups, large salads, etc for lunch, and burgers, steaks, chicken wings, etc for dinner.
It can be sooo much worse if you keep the secret because now not only did the woman he loved not only die but break his heart now his ex mil betray him and make him question who he can trust. Besides the dying part it happened to someone I knew. There were things that didn’t add up looking back and some he noticed yet didn’t question because why would you? It’s just your mind playing games because she wouldn’t possibly do that to me. Thankfully he has the mindset of blood or not that’s my kid
I get about what he said about being out numbered. I’m one of four kids and the only girl. Because there where more boys the house was treated as such. It can be frustrating when you have to do something that favors a stereotypical gender type stuff . Plus as a parent I imagine having to try to fix issues you have little to no idea about so you try your best or say you have no idea now the whole house is against you
The 3rd story; I wonder how many will write the essay. If it was me, I’d say this is stupid. I will not be attending. I will not spend my money and I will NOT KISS your ass! Screw the wedding!
A year late, but for the niece that was behind in learning - as someone who WAS that kid, OP is NTA and I bet the niece will cherish her attempts to teach her when she's older. My uncle and grandma were that to me, and while my uncle is no longer here, I still cherish the both of them and hold the memories of them trying to teach me the alphabet and stuff dear. I actually didn't go to kindergarten though... my first school grade was, well, the first grade. I could read just enough to not break down and cry when we had a mock quiz the very first day but I couldn't really comprehend a full sentence. But literally MOST, if not all, of the reading comprehension I did have was thanks to my grandma and uncle. They gave me the starting point to build off of and I will be forever grateful. (And I had a speech impediment to top it all off lol.) My grandma still has a lot of the drawings we all did on her walls, even after multiple moves, and it's just...
The only reason we have a taboo against talking about your wages/salary is to keep us from asking for raises. If we all shared our income with our co-workers, we would be demanding equal pay, and corporations don't like that. Since corporations control the media and our cultural narratives, it's no surprise that we have the idea we shouldn't talk about wages. Same with not talking about politics in polite company. If we all talked about political issues with our family and friends, after all, we would be more informed and less responsive to propaganda.
Agree with salary part, don’t agree with politics... politics are messed up and talking about leads to arguments because some people simply can’t talk about them without getting emotional... not me hhahaha
I mean, kinda.... It's also gauche because it's gross to value people by their salary, which is what you get in the opposite extreme where everybody introduces themselves with a summary of their income and assets
@@asherael But it is really important that we don't NOT talk about salaries as that is how many employers have gotten away from discriminating against women and minorities for long, by making the whole wage thing taboo.
@@kimmcamp oh absolutely. within the workplace, that's ABSO*LUTELY* the case. I agree 100%. I was exclusively talking about why its rude to ask someone how much they make outside of that context, like if you meet someone you don't work with or something. Within the workplace, that's *exactly* the case
It’s illegal for employers to tell employees they aren’t allowed to talk about wage… despite this, I strictly remember signing a form saying I won’t discuss wage with co-workers.😬
She was paying the babysitter $2 an hour for 50 hour work weeks?! 😳 Gods, such TA.
NTA the boss chose his fate when he chose to lie on ur partner. Keep in mind this family was more than willing to let your wife go to jail for a crime she didn't commit.
Makes me wonder if it was the wife...maybe a life insurance policy
To the woman who fired the babysitter after she unknowingly drank on the job, OP is damn lucky the babysitter's family didn't call the police to report you contributing to the delinquency of a minor! Oop, he just read that part now. Yeah, count your blessings OP. YTA!
Markee. When they say "In no condition to drive" that doesn't just mean drunk. It can also mean he's tired. Driving tired is just as bad or sometimes even worse, it all depends on the distance, than driving drunk. I've seen dash cam footage of someone falling asleep at the wheel, the driver was heading home from work at 4 AM and passed out at the wheel and went into the ditch, and they were lucky that they were both on a relatively empty highway, there were still some people in case they got hurt, and being in the right most lane.
While that's true stepfather smelled of alcohol. I know nothing about DJ's but I doubt they are supposed to drink. Then being banned from Uber says a lot about thia guy. I don't think the reason he needs a ride is just that he's tired. Maybe having a few on top lf being tired maybe.
exactly what i thought, i don't even drive if i feel sleepy because i know my limits and i think it'd be just as dangerous as driving drunk imo. he's so quick to assume the worst for no good reason
@@darnellafrance3591 Then get a different job that doesnt require you to make you 16 yr old go out at 4 am to get you. Also its kind of difficult to get banned from Uber, so hes doing something.
@@Yllania couldn’t agree with this more.
I know this was a year ago but like... Yeah, that's exactly why making a 16 year old stay up until 4am driving is such a momentous dick move. And the stepfather confirms that her driving WAS affected! She shouldn't have been out on the road at that time and could have killed them both driving tired... and it would have been his fault. (And her mother's.) To make matters worse, he completely dismissed the notion that she could have actually been tired and tried to say that she was just being dramatic. The amount of negligence and asshole-ry from that singular sentence alone was shocking tbh. And the mother just glossed over it, yikes.
In general: Yeah, don't drive tired. It is just as dangerous as drunk driving and the fatality rate is just as bad.
I don't think saying how much you make is a mistake.
If this guy doesn't want to know, he shouldn't ask. Especially someone in tech.
Ask rude questions, don't be offended with the answers.
Not giving transplant: Your significant other comes first. Boss and family did not protect your family so you had to and therefore were unable to follow through on your intent to donate your organ. This is not on you. Your partner needed you, you were right to make that your priority.
Except in the Monty Python skit, one only donates a PIECE of one's liver, which grows into a complete organ just like a plant cutting grows into a complete plant and the owner's trimmed liver regenerates. Maybe in China they they take the whole thing from disdents.
EVERY surgery has risks. The OP did the right thing for sure. Why put yourself at risk for someone that would pull a stunt like this on your partner.
WOW for the dad being resentful that they're gonna have another girl!!! Huge, total AH! I'm surprised that no one brought up the fact that the father (sperm supplier) is what determines the sex of the child! Walking out not only hurt his wife but embarrassed her. It also disrespected her, the daughter and every one at the party, female and male. What an ass!
Until modern science, they blamed the mother for the gender of the child. This is such an unjust world.
He's not an asshole, though. He's allowed to vocalize his displeasure
@@stevelemur6113They still do
That mother said "It's not my fault you got drunk!" but.... it WAS. She knew her babysitter liked seltzer water, stocked her fridge with alcoholic seltzer and didn't tell her about it. OP's TA, for sure.
Yeah this woman was a real piece of work. I hope the raise came with a huge apology and she does some serious self reflection. How would she have felt if this had happened to her kid. Especially if she was very certain they were the kind of teen who wouldn't do something like that. I have other issues too. She should have at least tried to get out of work when the girl said she felt ill. What if it were something major like her appendix or something. Plus who would call and say they felt ill if they were trying to sneak alcohol. Letting the girl walk home drunk was also a crummy thing to do. Even if she suspected her of drinking on purpose they should have made sure an intoxicated 16 yo made it home safe. I would have been horrified, double checking how many seltzer waters she'd had to make sure wasn't going need medical attention.
She basically drugged the poor girl
She sounds like an entitled cunt. I hope the girl turns her down, gives her the finger and tell her to fuck off. OP is lucky she isn’t being sued.
I’m literally. In shock ! She is 16 ! You are an AH ! Your a horrible person too ! I can’t believe you would talk to a 16uear old like that , especially knowing she comes from a hard life .
Also, just letting yourself into a room after the person inside has clearly said, "I'll be out in a minute," so you know they're attending to private business of _some_ kind in there is also majorly overstepping. It doesn't matter if they're wanking, pooping or wrapping your birthday present, a closed door says, "Please give me some space."
That is what people with some manners do, unlike OP.
Yeah... No one reasonable does this to someone self-pleasuring.
I wonder if there was an inheritance or life insurance policy on the guy dying from liver failure? His wife might have had a good reason to frame the partner of the donor.
I make $200k a year. I definitely will not let many people know that, including my family on my mother's side. It isn't about pay transparency within the business I work for. Anyone can look up my salary online because of my job. But I don't feel comfortable sharing that information outright because I don't want to deal with the drama. I'd probably share it with my dad's family though because they would just be proud of me.
Also, putting that info out there can bring people out of the woodwork who have great “investment opportunities” or “really worthy causes” or just generally feel entitled to your money.
OK, and...? None of what you just said makes OP wrong, here. That was her family, and all she did was answer a simple question. I can't think of anyone I know who would refuse to do the same in her position. How's THAT for awkward dinner conversation? "By the way honey, congrats on your new job. What's your salary at the new place?" "I will _never_ tell you that information!" ...
Likewise, I can't think of any reason whatsoever why her father would fly into a seething rage over something like that. It's just plain bizarre, as well as being obviously inappropriate and downright crueI.
Part of your family will be proud of your success. Part of your family will resent you for not giving it to them. A LOT of strangers will resent you.
If my sister had sent me I needed to write a 500 word essay on "why I want to go to her wedding" for a chance to be invited , I would probably just have sent:
"If you want me at your wedding, don't pull this kind of prissy, manipulative, narcissistic, self-gratificating, egotrip fueled, Karen-esque, bridezilla from hell kind of bullshit, just send a damn invitation."
followed by the word "Filler" repeated ad infinitum to fill the word quota.
Fortunately, my sister is actually sane.
Or type, see first statement.
Cutting off too much hair. My god this broke my heart. OP is a massive AH! My SIL did this to me when I was 13. I had hair to my waist, loved it, took good care of it and was proud of it. I was spending a month in Calif with my oldest brother and family, he was getting out of the AF at the end of the month. I was to help with their 2 kids especially on the drive back to upstate NY. She took me to her friend to get my hair cut, lied to me that my mother told her to do it. She also lied to my brother when he asked about the haircut. I swear I looked like the little boy on the Dutch Boy paint cans, because it was indeed a Dutch Boy cut. When we finally got home she told my mom it was what I wanted. Boy oh boy, did it hit the fan when she reached to pet my hair, I lost it started crying and shouting at my mom for forcing me to cut my hair. The truth came out that it was all my SIL's idea because 'she liked short hair'.
Did you get any vengeance?
They also most likely pocketed a chunk of change when they sold your hair.
For the 500-word essay, OP should write "Food and booze" until the limit is satisfied. LOL. Then OP's parents can't complain that she didn't fill it in.
Or maliciously comply and write an essay on how fun it shall be to go wild on the buffet, dance floor, and drink, and maybe throw in more embarrassing embellishments.
Yes it is. It is EXACTLY your fault she got drunk
Alcohol is an intoxicant and though you didn't kill her, you poisoned her just like Lucrezia Borgia.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying how much you make
It is crass, but if someone is crass enough to ask, then nothing wrong with answering.
Me nah, it’s not even crass
Disagree. It's trashy and also could put you in danger. It makes you a target for robbery. Because a lot of people feel justified robbing someone who they consider "has more than enough" or "makes more than enough" even friends. They feel entitled since you make more and they start wanting you to pay for everything when you hang out ect. Not everyone is like that obviously but enough people are like that, even people you wouldn't think would be, that it just isn't a good idea for your own safety and relationships. Unless of course it's someone you really trust to not try to take advantage of you. People with money and good manners never speak about how much they make and you will be ostracized in a lot of circles for talking about it. Just giving a warning. It's social suicide to speak about exactly how much you make in a ton of circles.
@@WhitneyDahlin that’s a lot of anxiety you got there. When it comes to everyday people, sure don’t go telling everyone you meet. But with your coworkers, in a professional setting? Y’all should talk so you can properly negotiate wages.
@@WhitneyDahlin but either way, it’s absolutely not trashy
Just studied for three hours straight and thought only one hour had passed with this in the background. You're literally helping me through uni😭
Honestly, I probably would have never agreed to the transplant in the first place. Surgery terrifies me, and they would be cutting through the bones of your ribcage to get to your liver, and then you would have to go through recovery and live the rest of your live with diminished liver function, and for who? Not my sister, not my father, not my best friend, just my GF's boss.
The liver regenerates itself, so it is not the permanent risk that a kidney transplant is. It is still a risky surgical procedure.
Story one: he can 100% sue the family and friends accusing him of murder, it's slander
Probably not in the uk
the fact they pulled out the property stake is 10 steps too far, that is absolutely wrong and action 100% needs to be taken. You know that a super ugly property dispute could be coming in the near future. And doing nothing now will spell doom.
A 16 year old with ptsd regarding alcohol wouldn't even know how to tell if something is alcoholic
I sure knew my parents were alcoholics by the time I was 12, and could see it in their friends.
@@kimmcamp but, did you know what every single beverage containing booze looked like? Because I've been around a long a** time, and even I don't know what every single new beverage looks like. Hell, my husband is a recovering alcoholic, and in his hey day before he got sober, HE didn't know every single option available to fuel his addiction. If this were MY 16 year old, I'd be dragging you down to the police station on contributing charges, and reporting you for various labor law violations. Therapy would also be paid for out of someone's pocket, and it wouldn't be MINE.
@@pansprayers no but even at 16 by the way I was drinking because my mother supplied alcohol I could tell the taste with booze was in there or not.
Consistently mowing your property without your permission can be considered a step toward adverse possession. Get those property pins replaced legally and immediately and file a complaint to begin a legal paper trail on them. You may need to send a legal document to prove you have asked them to stop.
Adverse possesion is not so easy as people think. Laws have changed in the last 20 years. Most states with lower years ( 5 ) , also require you to pay the property taxes. The others are 10 to 20 years. Some are 20 years and taxes. www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/state-state-rules-adverse-possession.html
they denied any possibility of getting a dog for more than ten years, and as soon as op moves out, they decide they can now get a dog? like the only thing that prevented them from getting that dog was her presence?? op has every right to be pissed off. if they had maybe got one after a few years, that could be understandable. but right after she left?? come on. they suck.
Normalize telling people how much you make. The fact that people feel it’s taboo to talk about salary makes it harder to point out salary discrepancies. A wage gap does exist and talking about how much you make is how you can help fix that issue.
If I was the OP from the marriage store, my essay would just be "Your my sister, I love you....but either invite me or not....why do I have to write a essay to be included in your wedding? Mom and Dad are making me do this. This is dumb!" Over and over, till it reaches 500 words.
Wife killed her husband.
The second story, wow. They could have kids all have all girls. Then what?
Gamer story: that’s on the guy for making that assumption she was a guy. He should have asked before assuming, and yeah he needs help. No wonder he’s having problems getting girlfriends.
#1 - I got that vibe about the wife too!
#3 - One word: Incel.
#4 - Nobody commented about how lucky it was that nothing happened to the 16y/o babysitter when she was forced to walk home while drunk, confused and feeling ill. It sounded like she came from a poorer neighborhood (who knows how far away)... she could have passed out, gotten assaulted, gotten lost, had alcohol poisoning, or God knows what else...
@@wickedgreen1784 Not only that, but she deliberately told that poor babysitter to get out and AND LEFT THE KIDS UNATTENDED. She doesn't say how long it was between her kicking the babysitter out and when she got home, but it surely must have been a good long while.
Also, she clearly didn't "just forget" to buy seltzer for the babysitter after two months, she simply got annoyed at having to buy even that one minimal little thing for her, and didn't want to do it anymore. Just like OP "forgot" seltzer was her favorite drink, and "forgot" to tell her that the ones in the fridge were alcoholic. I dunno why that particular detail bothers me so much, I guess there's just something about how casually and flippantly she lied about it. It really shines a light on her unwillingness to accept even the _tiniest shred_ of responsibility for what happened, even though it's 100% her fault!
Even at the end of it all, the way she refused to apologize for what was CLEARLY the result of her own negligence and not the babysitter's, was the most Karen thing that ever Karened. Karen². Actually, no, it's even worse than that. What OP did transcends Karenhood altogether, to an even higher plane of putrescence the likes of which no mortal language could ever hope to describe.
I am LOVING the AITA content recently! You’re doing amazing as always, Markee, thanks for the amazing content!
That first story was something else. How dare she try to control his sexuality. Maybe she should try joining in instead of condemning him.
With the dog one, I feel like there was a lot more going on than just the dog and them getting a dog after denying you one for so long was the straw breaking the camel's back and the thing that made you realize you don't want to be part of their family anymore and that they were excluding you in a lot of other ways.
I’m a woman who plays video games and I rarely open my mic because some guys will often say absolutely ridiculous and nasty shit the second they hear they’re playing with a woman, or they’ll get overly nice and ask personal questions like age and looks.
For those reasons my DMs are now closed to everyone but friends and my gamer handles are gender neutral.
That way people tend to just assume I’m a guy and leave me alone.
Just saying it after hearing the story around the 21:13 mark. Our situations are somewhat different of course since her name just so happens to be unisex but he still just assumes she was a guy, he never asked and she had no reason to tell.
The second story. Good for your brother for adopting a child. She may not be “blood” per say. However, she is still a member of the family. Shame on those parents for denying the love of a grandchild.
In the dog story, I think that after the parents realized how they differentiated their children, they should've apologized sincerely for their past behavior but also let OP know that they were still going to get the dog because they'd already committed to it to the younger children that they would.
To the lady who’s having problems with the parents. Your brother and you need to take a time out from your parents. If they cannot treat that beautiful little girl and give her the love she deserves, they don’t deserve to be in your lives.
'A son to carry on the family name'? What if OP's brother and SiL did agree, then had a girl, what then? They get badgered into trying again? Its another girl; this family now has 3 kids and the emotional and financial difficulties that come with it. And grandparents are still on them to give them a son
@@SH-qs7ee There was one of those little video things on Facebook it was like fabulouso diet I think. Either way it was a cartoon where the husband kept pressuring the wife to have a boy 5 kids later and still no boy all girls.
Mom who cut daughters hair. Say goodbye to your daughter ever trusting you again. That betrayal will be remembered lifelong.
The story in 1:54:13 makes me grateful that when my period became insane my mom wanted to get an appointment immediately but I wanted to wait it out. That was around two months ago and we went to an appointment and now I'm taking medications
Did the OP ask the crazy dude she was online gaming with why he never told her he was a guy? She should've turned it completely around and accused him of the same exact thing. I didn't know it was a requirement to identify your gender when you meet someone online. If it was a dating app, ok. Everyone should be entitled to not being catfished, so naturally one would expect the person with whom they were talking to immediately reveal their gender and gender preferences, so that no one wastes time on something that's not going to go anywhere. But that's quite different from this scenario. It's not automatic to announce "Oh by the way I have a vagina" when there's no chance either party will be dating or hooking up with the other.
This late lol but she implies that he uses voice chat
@@Jjam7309 Where does it imply that? I thought it was just typing in a chatroom. And I'm pretty sure he never gave her the opportunity to ask him anything anyway, he was too busy cussing her out to let her get any questions in. Even if she had though, I doubt he'd have bothered to notice or care to answer her, anyway.
Honestly, this story just made me feel exhausted. It makes me feel that way because we get this garbage from guys all the time, it's seriously so common to get abuse just for BEING a woman. Yet every time we try to open up about it like OP did here, like clockwork, all these other guys start questioning her and will even frame it like his reactions were understandable, as if it's somehow HER fault for not proclaiming her gender to every single person she comes across like a total lunatic. "Hello, I would like to chat with you, however before we continue, I need to tell you that I am in fact a woman and not a man. Is that ok with you?"
I mean, you see how bizarre that sounds, right? If she did that, nobody would talk to her cuz they'd be creeped out. You may as well say "Hello, I am woman, please do not incorrectly conclude that I am not-a-womans whose flesh receptacle contains anything other than two bumps and three holes, for that is my configuration. I say this out of courtesy to you as a token of our meeting so that you do not mistakenly mistake me for a not-a-woman, as many not-a-womens wish to avoid any interactions with a womens, as clearly, the status of my gender renders all other aspects of my personality, interests, experiences, and ability to hold a conversation as completely irrelevant. Therefore, it is crucial that you are preemptively informed of my womens-ness before we engage in distanced text-based communication. This is perfectly natural human behavior of humans humaning."
@@WobblesandBean I forgot about This comment it’s 3 am I’m going to sleep
@@WobblesandBean I'm FtM and when I played Overwatch when it first came out, just, oh gods. How some people reacted to hearing a feminine voice in general, especially from a Mercy main :')
Also, I wish others would consider that kinda common for guys to scam other guys by pretending to be women in games. I even knew a guy in highschool that asked me to come over to his place to really sell it on mic so he could get free shit on steam. If you just open with "hey I'm a woman!" or even try to explain later, not only do you open yourself up to creep shit, but they could also just cuss you out for "trying to scam" or some shit like that. It's certainly not every gamer dude, but there's enough like that to make it too big of a risk for many.
I mean I've also been harassed in WoW for being a queer man for literally no reason, online game chats are just way too much
I personally feel like we only have the moral obligation not to kill someone we have absolutely no responsibility to save a life. It's harsh but true
For the wedding essay, I would put down 500 words on why I think that this is BS and you are only submitting this essay to appease the family and aren't going to the wedding anyways.
1st story NTA the boss framed OP's girlfriend and got her arrested. OP did nothing wrong, I would point out that the boss lied about the girlfriend and framed her. She could have gone to prison for that.
Plot twist: Wife wanted hubby dead and intentionally blamed the girlfriend so OP would back out.
@@hwiley8141 oh my, that is unexpected.
@@hwiley8141 Dun-dun-DUUUUUUUN!!!!
What a twist!
That is suicide, don’t worry about it... Even if your gf. did it, they really timed the report perfect. If someone is a murder it is the owners wife.for getting OP s gf fired and the following colleteral damage. 🎶🎶Murder is the case they should give her🎶🎶 👮♂️🤷🏻♀️
15:59
Use cut and paste: "I have no interest in writing an essay to 'qualify' to attend your wedding, on top of spending on tickets, rooms, food, a gift for you, and transportation." Nine times cut and paste that. Boom! First essay complete! For the second essay: "After the way you and our parents are hounding me on the requirements for attending and how I had BETTER attend regardless of how I may feel about attending, I'm feeling VERY tepid about attending at this point. Maybe you should give higher priority to choosing your attendees in another way." Only need 5 copies of this one. There you go! You've got your MC firmly in place.
As a long haired chick: yes, absolutely the AH if you cut more than we agreed to let you cut. OP is HUGE AH. I'm glad she finally understands but my gawd, this was my childhood over and over and listening to these stories and hearing other people's opinions is therapeutic to me, that I wasn't crazy for the feelings I've been made to have as a child
OP in the sickness story should tell them, but not until after grieving is over.
Just because they said it's a girl on an ultrasound doesn't mean that it's actually a girl. One of my cousins was told she was having a girl. Day of delivery it was a boy. I am a girl & I am not scared of bugs.
1st story: No one is entitled to another persons organs.
You are entitled to back out for ANY reason.
Shaming someone is not okay.
Yeh makes me wonder if wife wanted him dead... a life insurance payout maybe
Unless her parents hyphenated their last names, the mother gave up her family name. Did she not? Even worse, if the couple does have a biological child later ( boy or girl ), we now know the grandparents will play favorites.
Sitter had an accident because OP replaced her drink. OP literally drugged her and then wants to punish her.
People who morally object to their partners having a right to a solo sex-life are super-controlling. As long as it's not coming at the expense of their interest in _you_ , what business is it of yours whether they stay sensually self-connected or not? Mind your business.
Sounds like the neighbor is trying to take some of your property since they removed the property stake. Put up the fence.
being straightforward with what you make is so important for worker's rights and equality. It's a big taboo in most countries, but it's only favouring the employer.
1st Story: NTA, Why do I feel that boss and wife was dipping into funds because of medical expenses and when accused, they used your girlfriend as a scapegoat.
22:22 This exact same thing happened to me. Gather 'round everyone, it's storytime! Like OP, I met a guy on WoW world chat, looking for a PUG and eventually we both joined a chat server to coordinate during raids. He and I would chat a lot, he was a cool guy and our dark senses of humor aligned pretty well. He never asked my gender, and that was fine by me, it wasn't relevant and I didn't think anything of it, since nobody in the chat group ever asked each other anything personal about ourselves. Learned the hard way why that is; turns out in the absence of definitive information, gamer guys just sort of assume that any well-spoken, competent gamer is another man. Then one day through casual conversation, this in-game buddy of mine had said he wished he could find a gf who didn't complain about his excessive gaming habits, and I mentioned how lucky I was cuz my bf at the time also played WoW, and so both of us understood what a time sink it was. He was puzzled and asked if I was a woman, to which I obviously said yes.
He. LOST. It.
He began cussing me out, called me every horrible name you can think of, accused me of being a deceitful, manipulative liar. I feel like I need to reiterate (cuz I know someone out there is going to say something if I don't) that there were no lies, he just never asked, no one did. It really wasn't important at all, we only coordinated in-game to raid together, we got along great and worked well together and that's all that matters, or so I thought. The cherry on top was his statement that I was yet more proof that women shouldn't be allowed to play video games.
Now, dear reader, I should tell you that I am not only an avid gamer, but at the time of the incident I had worked in the games industry for 11 years, three of which were spent at Blizzard itself. And I can tell you quite confidently, that his behavior is sadly not uncommon for gamer guys. I'd even say it's normal, in the sense that even though most guys aren't going to leap down your throat for being a woman, the majority of men I would speak to voiced their suppoer nd understanding of the men who did. They can be some of the most toxic people on the planet, and I eventually got sick of the constant harassment, belittling, and total inaction from HR, and left the industry altogether. I even quit WoW not long after this incident, when all the guys in my guild who I THOUGHT were my friends took this dude's side! They accused me of "infiltrating men's spaces" and claimed I had "violated him". Like...seriously? Nobody in the PUG chat ever asked each other's ages, genders, ethnicities, etc, all that mattered was how well we played. But because I didn't come into it shouting my non-man-ness from the rooftops, I was seen as "spying" on the menfolk.
From then on, any time we raided, I got blamed for every last little mistake. At one point the tank deliberately lost aggro on a large group of mobs and blamed it on me, even though I was a Hunter and had a specific ability to exit combat mid-fight to prevent that exact thing from happening. One week I was their most valuable DPS and mob puller/leasher, the next, I couldn't do anything right in their eyes. I know I'm going to be called out on staying, but keep in mind I was really desperate for things to go back to normal, and I just wanted to play the game. We made a good team, it's super hard to find a good PUG group and before for the ridiculous meltdown over my gender, we got on really well. But I guess couldn't get over the "betrayal", cuz within a month I got kicked out of the chat server and blocked in-game by everyone in the group. The guy went on to join the #3 raid guild on our server, which was strictly men only.🙄My own guild was #1, but I left to petition #2 because I couldn't be around my guildies after that, not after discovering how much they looked down on me just for being a thing with two bumps and an extra hole. I found out long after the fact that they'd only let me in to begin with cuz one of the officers was a friend of mine who vouched for me (which he'd promised me he wouldn't do, I had asked him not to reveal that we knew each other because I wanted to get in on my own merit, he knew this).
I have many, MANY other horror stories involving s,,ual harassment, hostility, _and even stalking_ during my tenure in the industry.
I don't get it, I really don't. I used to hear all the time "man, I wish I had a gamer gf", but then whenever they find an ACTUAL young woman who's a hardcore gamer, they treat her like garbage. For real, do straight men even LIKE women?
No they don't.
You're never the asshole for backing out of an organ transplant for any reason at all ever. Contrary to popular belief, your own quality of life drops due to those. Especially kidney transplants... The person getting the kidney will just need a new one in a few years (8-10), and so will you...
Plus the story was sus...I wonder if the wife got a life insurance payout. If she wanted him to die..and not get a transplant
Everyone here is missing one thing, concerning the child, by the time op told anyone (her mom) she was already close to dying and the child was already older and only knows one person as his father. Had she told op when she was pregnant or just had him then op should have then told her to tell him but she didn't even know until shortly before the mother was dying/ in a coma. Do not tell him die with that secret op. Him knowing does nothing but hurt them both. Parents are most often not matches for transplant siblings are better matches even half siblings. This will only cause the husband and child more pain. Him knowing right now is not going to help him or that child only cause them more pain. Why cause them more pain right now.
Guy who didn't know the other gamer was female: Now we know why he's single.
Oh, so none of his feelings matter? It doesn't matter that he was opening up and pouring his heart out to someone he believed was male in a way most men will NEVER do with any woman ever? It doesn't matter that this guy's world was destroyed and now he's terrified that some random girl knows his darkest deepest secrets when, as far as most guys believe, girls tell 100% of everything they hear to 100% of their friends and are thus not someone to tell anything to that you want to stay private? Fuck you. Male feelings matter. Male emotions are valid. Women are not always automatically correct, and while yes gaming with random matches isn't social when you're grouping up with the same people to play games you NEED to tell people what you are because social groups require certain base knowledge to keep EVERYONE in them comfortable. You may be all "But guys should open up to girls toooooooo!" Yeah well, they don't. That's how reality *is* Just because it should be otherwise doesn't make it otherwise. You need to deal with reality in the way it is, not the way you want.
Drunk sitter. YTA. It was an accident caused by OP.
I actually laughed at the "buff short 5'5" lumberjack man" because that's literally my boyfriend. He is buff, 5'5", and does tree work. People joke because I am 5'10" and a lot taller in heels but I love him haha.
Markee. shouting at kids and abusing women is "just part of the gamer community"???
WTF??? Glad I am not a gamer.
I let my husband hear this & he said it's the guy's wife's fault she stole the money so it is 100% her fault he died. And you need to file a complaint against the wife & family, friends of the man as this is harassment and wrong the only one at fault is the WIFE.
YOU are definitely not the ahole
Markee, we need to talk about the beard.
It makes you look like the type of guy who spends an hour each day deciding on which of his 18 Nickleback shirts to wear.
He might like it or might be between the next to no hair and really hairy beard stage.
Not really up to anyone but him what he looks like. Personally as a girl i don't notice it as his eyes are what draw me in first.
@@1234567Clairebear Of course it's up to him. But I can still mess with him about it.
Rare...insults...?
😂
@@1234567Clairebear Great eyes and great voice.
Are you insane, Markee? Do NOT tell the father that he may not be the father. He can find out on his own, if ever. The father IS the father, now.
💯
Ex husband complaining not having been told about ex wife's illness and passing: my dad's like that minus the cheating, oyyy
The male heir story - grandma doesn't know how chromosomes work. The gender of a baby is up to the father. What if his sperm decides to give the child an X chromosome instead of a Y? Would grandma demand they keep having bio children until a boy is conceived?
3 hour videos are always special!
OK the story with the uncle how was it rude for you to answer his question. Tell your cousin, tell your sister, if you don’t want the truth. Don’t ask me a question. How about how rude it was for your uncle to ask how much money you make. How about how rude it was for your uncle to say no 23-year-old should be making that amount of money. How about how rude and ignorant your uncle was. If you want respect in life you need to give it bottom line!OK can anybody says well you should’ve said how much you back that’s a mistake bullshit. If you don’t want to know don’t ask the likes questions!!
I do wonder if uncle would've blown up like this if OP was a male; it could be deep down he think 23 year old females don't deserve to be paid so much
@@SH-qs7ee Exactly!
In the mom vs brother/sil story I wonder what they would say to me. I have a genetic disorder that can cause serious medical issues. It causes non cancerous tumors and MANY other medical issues.
With this disorder I have a 50% chance of passing it on, I decided when I was in high school I didn't want to risk that but REALLY want to adopt eventually
About the organ story: wife admitted to stealing and setting up OPs partner to take the fall bc wife probably wanted husband dead, for insurance or something, and is using OP & partner as scapegoats. Wife probably knew her late husband’s character and knew presenting him with “evidence” he would take action against OPs partner, even tho she was in intimate connection to his life-saving organ donor. You’d think the wife would let “things slide” at the very least until after the surgery as to not jeopardize things/“rock the boat” before the procedure. I’m probably just reading too much into things.
the whole pregnancy infertility thing... I HATED that time of my marriage where people asked. So much. For most of it pre-twins, we *were* actively trying. and then after the twins were born, I went through testing to see if I'd be likely to have multiples if we tried again. It was likely, we made the decision to not have more... and people are STILL ASKING when the boys will get siblings/when I will try for girls/they'd be great big brothers. They're almost nine, I'm 36, why is this still a thing
I don't know why, but I just love the Aussie accent, and slang. I know there's probably many types of Aussie accents, like there's different American and British accent, but the one you have is my favorite. I love listening to Reddit videos, and having an Aussie doing makes it even better.
The babysitter that drank the seltzer has trauma related to alcohol and never wanted the experience. That’s a big deal the comments overlooked. Yikes $100 a week.
1:13:00 Oh get over yourself, woman! He did nothing wrong, let the poor man alone to do his thing. And don't even sit there and try to pretend you don't do it, too. 😂
Did that comment about the pilot uncle really say anyone can study and become a pilot? What a load of bull, lol
For the salary story, it’s not like OP shat on their uncle for having a crappier job or that he had it easier compared to them. She stated that she worked hard at her job to deserve her salary. Furthermore, her saying that few people can do their work isn’t the same thing as saying that a brain-dead lemur could do whatever job the uncle has, which seems to be what the cousin thought OP was implying.
NTA
Wedding is for both the bride and groom it is not just the brides event
Story about the kid hit by a car
Holy shit NTA
Who doesn't answer the phone when it's been called back-to-back for hours while you're simultaneously looking for you missing child, and then your brother (who should've been made aware you were missing as well) just turns away the friends at the door. The whole family is trash. I can see why you would never put them as emergency contacts, Jesus christ.
OP is totally YTA. I get he wanted to have a boy, but a girl is just as nice. If he wants to " blame" anyone, it should be himself since it was his DNA that decided the baby should be a girl. Though I think he has a right to be upset if he is but I think expressing it at the gender reveal party was not cool and I feel bad for OP's wife and her sister whose father abandoned them it sounds like just because they were girls. My dad has 6 girls and no boy. He always tells us he wouldn't treat a house full of boys for one of us. OP needs to grow up.
Let me fix the first story, OP wrote it wrong:
Some person who has barely any connection to me needed a piece of one of my organs. I agreed, even though I didn't owe him anything and my inaction wouldn't have been an immoral action. He then tried to screw over my significant other,, my one connection to him, for extra cash shortly before the surgery. So, I decided that he didn't give a shit about me, even after I agreed to go through with a dangerous procedure to save his life despite not owing him anything, and changed my mind on doing it for him. His family is now harassing me, a total stranger, for not wanting to risk my life for someone who tried to ruin my SO's life, and by extension my own. AITA?
Fixed it for the OP.
Having to write an essay to attend the sister's wedding: OP is not the A**hole. The parents are wrong to side with the sister. The sister is setting herself up to having a large percentage of people who were invited not responding to the new RSVP. If OP doesn't want to attend for whatever reason, then the parents are wrong to try pressuring OP to go. (My parents used to pressure me to attend/participate in functions. I ended up resenting them doing so, becoming a homebody, and not wanting to attend weddings, parties, graduations, and reunions.)
OP should write their feelings about the essay and the parent's support of the idiotic essays and send that to the sister.
if these books are for the test, then they should be read in her eight study hours
NTA! What’s to say that the surgery would have gone thru. Also the boss’s body wouldn’t have rejected your liver. Don’t beat your self up over this. Good on you for getting help.
Ring lady- NTA. Honestly your point is valid and I can understand how he doesn't quite see why it's not okay to be giving the woman he loves a ring he bought for someone he thought he was going to spend his life with previously. A ring should be a symbol of your relationship and doesn't have to be expensive by any means. Just... not your ex's ring.... every time OP looks at what should be something that makes her happy/excited she will likely only see the fact that you loved someone else enough to buy this beautiful ring for them prior to your relationship. I know we all have pasts but OP probably doesn't want to be reminded the bf/fiance was almost married to someone else every time she looks at her hand... I don't think he's an ahole but I think he really just didn't understand why it shouldn't be done. Hopefully this won't be too much of a hiccup in their relationship!
(Some people also see this as bad luck for the relationship)
Edit: I paused before Markee's 2cents on this one (helps me figure out what to type lol) and he hit the nail on the head and summed up what I said much better haha
The boss guy was his own murderer. It takes a lot to mess up your liver.
Yeah, totally agree! I'm so glad everyone is born with perfect health, perfect organs, and absolutely nothing that requires medication!
The uncle was probably pissed because it can sometimes take more than 10+ years for a pilot to make much more than minimum wage
I want to make a liver pun about you living in Australia but I can't
Guess you couldnt deLIVER that pun........
NTA. Your sister appears to have bumped her head because she has lost the ability to differentiate between a classroom assignment and a wedding invitation. In reality, this is her way of not having to field upset from half her original guest list. Is the person throwing this shindig, it's her responsibility to create the guest list. It is not an invitees job to write an essay why they should be considered worthy to be chosen to attend. Stick to your guns. Or if you do not want your parents going off at you for not writing essays, then write two essays which incorporate your feelings on how inappropriate the whole thing is and on how you're writing these essays under duress.
Lol. I always knew I was a woman!
I will need to use it. I'm infertile & am broad on my explanation. But when I get more questions I say ”I think it's inappropriate to ask so many questions about my vagina and it's coming and goings"
Mom and husband think it's inappropriate. I feel this might b better.
The OP shaming her husband for masturbation is very immature unless they have a specific religious reason to abstain. YTA. He's her partner not her property.
To the OP, who's a gamer and had the unfortunate encounter with the r/niceguy. NTA. It was none of his business whether you're a guy or a girl.
Sounds like the wife wanted the surgery canceled
I owned three foxes. We kept them outside and a good distance away from the house just because the smell of their urine is so potent. It's nothing like a dog or cats. It's more akin to skunk spray. I completely understand where that wildlife refuge owner was coming from. I never considered returning my foxes, but that's because I had the land to deal with the issue and I did plenty of research beforehand on what kinds of issues most people have when they get pet foxes, not just how to care for them.
Anyone feel people were way too harsh on the dad who sold the ps3 ? Pretty sure he’s just a boomer that don’t know how consoles work and thinking it was just a straight upgrade.
Doesn't make any difference, it wasn't op's to sell! If you give someone a present it's theirs, not yours.
Wth is wrong with being a garbagemen. I am really happy people do that job.
We survived nurse's strikes but when cleaning staff struck, our hospital was instantly shut down.
@@stevelemur6113 Exactly
For the first story : not the asshole , dont try to slice of the hand of the one who feeds you or in this case , is going to feed you
Honestly, if my sister demanded essays to attend her wedding, I would just copy paste the sentence, "I'm your only sister." However many times it takes to reach the word count.
"the restaurant is american so you know what kind of food it is?"
what....every single goddamn thing?
lmao burgers, probably
Most American diners (not specialty restaurants) have almost the same menu, give or take a few items. Eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, etc for breakfast; salad, onion rings, potato wedges, etc for appetizers, sandwiches, soups, large salads, etc for lunch, and burgers, steaks, chicken wings, etc for dinner.
@@nyxx5357 yeah, if they'd said "diner" i wouldn't have commented. But "american restaurant" doesn't narrow it down at all.
It can be sooo much worse if you keep the secret because now not only did the woman he loved not only die but break his heart now his ex mil betray him and make him question who he can trust.
Besides the dying part it happened to someone I knew. There were things that didn’t add up looking back and some he noticed yet didn’t question because why would you? It’s just your mind playing games because she wouldn’t possibly do that to me.
Thankfully he has the mindset of blood or not that’s my kid
I get about what he said about being out numbered. I’m one of four kids and the only girl. Because there where more boys the house was treated as such. It can be frustrating when you have to do something that favors a stereotypical gender type stuff . Plus as a parent I imagine having to try to fix issues you have little to no idea about so you try your best or say you have no idea now the whole house is against you
1:12:06 what a horrible woman, theres no shame in touching yourself, YTA shame on you
The 3rd story; I wonder how many will write the essay. If it was me, I’d say this is stupid. I will not be attending. I will not spend my money and I will NOT KISS your ass! Screw the wedding!
A year late, but for the niece that was behind in learning - as someone who WAS that kid, OP is NTA and I bet the niece will cherish her attempts to teach her when she's older. My uncle and grandma were that to me, and while my uncle is no longer here, I still cherish the both of them and hold the memories of them trying to teach me the alphabet and stuff dear. I actually didn't go to kindergarten though... my first school grade was, well, the first grade. I could read just enough to not break down and cry when we had a mock quiz the very first day but I couldn't really comprehend a full sentence. But literally MOST, if not all, of the reading comprehension I did have was thanks to my grandma and uncle. They gave me the starting point to build off of and I will be forever grateful. (And I had a speech impediment to top it all off lol.)
My grandma still has a lot of the drawings we all did on her walls, even after multiple moves, and it's just...