How To Stop Fighting In A Relationship And Resolve Conflict In Marriage | Paul Friedman

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  • Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
  • There doesn't have to be any fighting or conflict in your marriage. It takes two to fight, but it only takes one person to stop. So be that person. Be the bigger person. Learn how to finally end the constant bickering and fighting. Your spouse might gloat a little at first, but if you keep coming from a place of love, eventually you'll win them over. Watch the video to learn more.
    There's a lot of times when you're just having a little trouble and you've done a search now for marriage communication, and I'm going to give you techniques here. We're going to start with a technique that is so useful and so many people overlook this even though they know it's a good technique. You know it's a good technique even before I tell you about
    it it's called the "I'm sorry" technique.
    There's a serious problem when you're communicating and the communication starts going downhill. And at first, you're just talking about something it could be very innocent and then all of a sudden you hit a point of disagreement and it's human nature to focus in on that point of communication that is troubling until you get it resolved. It's human nature; it's part of us because of our drive to survive. We want to make sure the path in front of us has cleared away and we don't care who dies in the process so to speak. So we have to be right, we have to be clear, we have to know.
    When you reach that point of contention you're making a choice, do I want my marriage my
    communication my connection to be more important to me than my being, right. Those are your two choices being right, being connected. I've introduced the "I'm sorry" technique.
    A lot of people "go wait a minute" because you know what it means. It means as soon as you see your communication is going downhill. You go, "I'm sorry. You're right, I'm sorry."
    And the other person, your spouse isn't going to let it end there usually. They'll either want to dig in, remember human nature, you bet I'm right or they'll challenge you.
    What do you mean I'm right?
    What do you mean you're sorry?
    The momentum of the moment is carrying them into this negative space but you are in charge of you. You are in charge of you, no one else is.
    How they react? What they do is them, what you do is you, you have free will,
    you have willpower only over you.
    It takes two to get into a fight, one person cannot fight by themselves. You have the power to end it so what you go is "I'm sorry." If that doesn't end it you don't need a long explanation but you may need an explanation for your own mind because they suffer from human nature and you suffer from human nature. So, what you tell your mind is up to you
    as long as you get it to shut up. You don't continue in the fight and you mean it when you say I'm sorry you mean it. So there's different things you could be sorry for, you could be sorry for upsetting them for being the outer condition that has pushed them into a less-than frenzy or even a frenzy.
    You could be sorry that you would actually engage in a conversation that's going to make your spouse unhappy. You could be sorry that you don't understand them well enough to have communicated in a way that worked for both of you. You could be sorry that you're insisting on being right. There are so many things you can be sorry for that it's endless, it's
    infinite. But you're allowing your mind to choose confrontation rather than harmony because that's what it boils down to. You always have the choice.
    Do I go down the beneficial path? Do I go down the destructive path?
    You always have the choice so using the sorry technique puts an end to this communication that is going south. If you stick to it some people try it and their spouse gloats or does something to trigger them again and they explode again; it's worse. So this sorry technique is extremely effective so use it. Use it, test it and then work on your own mind and go look mind. I'd rather be connected to the person I chose to marry than be right in something that I'm going to forget about in a couple of hours anyway it's not going
    to matter. I would much rather use my energy in my communication to create love than distance.
    #communicationskills #communication #conflict #marriagetips #angermanagement #love

Комментарии • 20

  • @TheMarriageFoundation
    @TheMarriageFoundation  4 года назад +1

    Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by:
    1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
    2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
    3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.
    Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.

  • @eliasherrera4349
    @eliasherrera4349 3 года назад +5

    I just love this advice , I feel like MOST marriages in this new married generation are going through problems that could stop with this advice . We need more people with wisdom like you.
    No joke.

    • @taniadenise5145
      @taniadenise5145 7 месяцев назад

      @eliasherrera4349
      I am learning before I start & pray God makes me a good wife in order to have a good Man 🙏🏻

  • @faithsdad7651
    @faithsdad7651 3 года назад +5

    I really appreciate your videos. I am a husband who has messed up many times in my relationship with my wife. I have a truely good and honest wife but i have not always been honest with my wife. I have never cheated but i have old habits in my life i have lied to my wife about and it catches up to me. We have 2 beautiful children and i really want this to work. I just need to put my pride down and be a better husband and father. Im going to watch all your videos that relate to what im going thru and try my best to apply all your techniques. Thank you

  • @marketingmatters1286
    @marketingmatters1286 4 года назад +1

    Very powerful technique! These tips are essential to not just happiness but for spiritual development. I really like The Marriage Foundation quote that said to see your spouse's perfection. I like to see everyone as perfect in their stage of development. It brings harmony.

  • @mitchietekanawa7845
    @mitchietekanawa7845 2 года назад +1

    You’re so right,i thank God for all your your work and for saving my marriage ❤️❤️❤️

  • @funtimeswithhisham5692
    @funtimeswithhisham5692 3 года назад +4

    Like your counselling

  • @mitchietekanawa7845
    @mitchietekanawa7845 2 года назад

    Thanks for all your videos,I have learn so much,thanks you for saving my marriag God Bless your work and your Heart for Helping us all❤️❤️❤️

  • @dja-juicepowersourceproduc2887

    Great video brother thanks God bless 🙌 🙏

  • @silvias2828
    @silvias2828 Год назад

    That's so cute 😅 the sorry part, i mean. the only thing is we always say sorry, really mean it and realy want to change for the better (sometimes anyway) but the next minute we fight again......

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  Год назад +1

      Yes, thats why we have the SEW technique, so we can stop the fighting and cultivate the loving

  • @toughr1506
    @toughr1506 10 месяцев назад +1

    Seems to be so simple. How come some people including myself can not say it?

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  10 месяцев назад +1

      Simple learning to control our minds and open our hearts to feel our true selves in God simple, not easy

  • @jonneye
    @jonneye День назад

    Thank you

  • @CarlosVendries-tb8cs
    @CarlosVendries-tb8cs 24 дня назад

    I and wife been togetting for 20 years and unhappy.

  • @Lurkrs22891
    @Lurkrs22891 3 дня назад

    I am the son of my family and my parents marriage is unhappy

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  2 дня назад

      Send them to this channel and also pray for them. Maybe prayer first..