Asking each other uncomfortable questions
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- Опубликовано: 22 май 2024
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uyen@yilmazhummel.com
Hi, I'm Uyen Ninh but please just call me Uyen!
I moved from Vietnam to Germany 3 years ago for studying. I make silly videos about how Germany looks like through the eyes of a Vietnamese - on my way to be your favourite Ausländer! :D
00:00 Intro
00:47 Family Reaction
02:31 Stereotypes
05:37 Language Barriers
07:47 Cultural Differences
12:31 Arguments
14:43 Improvements
15:56 How did we make it?
Some of the questions that we asked each other was inspired by this video: • Interracial Couples Pl... :D 
Приколы
"We are both not talking our native language, but I also never felt more understood by a person." -German boyfriend 😍 This is not cringe, it melts my heart! That it is what a good relationship is about.
Same
🥰🥰🥰 it was the sweetest moment! That's how we know German boyfriend is a good egg.
🥲
A wh*te "person" will never be able to truly understand someone from another race. NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN WHEN INTERACTING WITH EUROPEAN DEMONS.
I'm not crying you're crying
Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting too much time on the internet just scrolling, but every time I see a new video from you popping up I smile. I enjoy how sincere, fun and incredibly cute you both are. Your content does make me a little happier, also more aware of different cultures. Thank you so much!
So true 🎉
Omg this comment is fire and genius
I Can agree so much. Actually as a German i use it to get better in english as well
oh I feel u so much🫂 I disabled the RUclips app on my phone for this same reason
Hello, my name is Kartik, I am from India, I am a big fan of yours, I want you to try to make videos in Hindi language also, so that your name will be known in India also. Also, I want to tell you that if you allow me, I can recreate your video in Hindi language and put it on RUclips channel.
when he said "my eyes are filled with love right in this moment" it validated that this is what i want and that it really exists and i deserve it im not crying u r
😅❤
"you are very open minded... as long we are not talking about food" 🤣
I never watch couples videos. They're boring or clearly staged, or somehow both.
But, I do really love seeing you two in videos together. Its so clear that you're happy. Its very sweet to watch, especially if my day isn't going so well.
Same here. Greetings from Tricity in Poland
+1
I agree. The Pasinis are very authentic as well. The only 2 happy couples that bring me you when watching their videos 😊
Couldn't agree more.
Agreed! And German Boyfriend's presence is felt just as fully, even though he isn't on camera. The clear mutual respect of boundaries and support of one another is genuinely heartwarming. ❤
The fact that both sides get worse in English is absolutely true. Me and my wife speak English at home, and although we both write in English for work we are both far from natives in terms of pronunciation - I am Southern European, she is Southern Asian, and you can clearly say it. Speaking at home English since 10 years I became more confident and relaxed while speaking English, but my English did not become better _at all,_ if anything I now do pronunciation mistakes from both sides.
That actually sounds fun. Not many people get your experience.
My boyfriend is Australian, I’m French. At home we speak Frenglish with a silly accent but we speak ‘professional English’ at work. It’s called code switching, look it up :)
It's not cringe, it's adorable. It's the best when you find that person who gets you like no one else does
“I’ve never felt so understood by a person” awwww 🥰
Every time I watch one of your videos I feel happy. I think part of the reason the two of you get along so well is that you are both open to happiness ... that is, you find the funny parts about difficulties and refuse to let them hold you back from enjoying your lives.
this made me cry idk why
Very insightful
"My eyes are filled with love at this moment." I laughed out loud at that comment !!
As a native English speaker, I can honestly say that using words that aren't really words but make sense, IS actual English. I've had so many conversations with people where they say things like, "Can you get the do-dad and then the thingy that works in the whatchamacallsit so that I can fix that whatwecallit?" I promise you, things like that, that aren't "proper" English, are 100% English hahaha
What’s that “Thingamebob” lol
Same in German and I guess other languages as well by the way. 😅 If it's not your first language you always think it's bad if you can't remember a specific word or expression, but in your own mother tongue you just sort of smoothly talk your way around it in my experience? So great to see that these two have found a way to do that too.
Ah yes. My walking green flag power couple is back.
"Nuclear family" as is "nucleus" not as in "radioactive" 😅
Uyen casually saying… ”Vietnamese go hard with guests…” 😂❤❤❤ Love it!!!
You two are such a good fit because you're both kindhearted, open minded, and curious about each other's cultures and personal perspectives. You are both skilled at making space for each other, for your customs and life experiences. You seem genuinely interested in the other and also make each other's mental wellbeing and comfort a priority. It's so refreshing to get a glimpse into to this relationship and a good reminder that this does exist. Sharing some of your life together with us in this way is a lovely gift! ❤
"...except when we're talking about food" I feel that. Loved this conversation. Thank you.
My daughter started watching these because I told how watching them lets me relive some of the moments when I first got married to my wife from Taiwan. A lot of differences, but so much the same. Oh, and now that Uyen is doing crochet. Some of it is just working out cultural differences.
As for parent reactions, her mother was fine with it. But all her friends were convinced I was a transient just going to dump her and run home when I got bored. Well, we are still married and some of those friends I hear are divorced.
And where are you from?
@@reccinto I'm from the US. I spent 5 years goofing off in Taiwan in the 90s where I met her in the first week. Although it took 2 years to get a date.
As an American married to an Indian man, I resonated with nearly everything you two described! Intercultural relationships definitely have added challenges, but ultimately the blending of two different cultures and worlds is so so beautiful.❤😊
I love videos like this! I am American and have lived in the same part of my country for most of my life. I have traced for a week in Paris, another trip a week in England, and my honeymoon in Bora Bora. That’s it. I am 73 years old. Probably no more travel in my life. When I did visit other countries, I was more interested in how people live than the tourist places. I loved walking through grocery stores, eating the traditional food. This is what made me happy. Learning how Vietnamese and Germans live from you two, is making me so happy. Thank you so much.
Maybe ask your family or friends to take you with you on trips? I know some people older than you who are vacationing away every year for 20 days to all different places! It's not impossible, just maybe choose destinations that aren't super expensive or overly popular so that you don't get tired with crowds and too much waiting around.
I'm exactly the same. I don't care so much about visiting tourist spots. I want to see how people actually live. Currently living in Japan, and very happy to have this experience. I'm glad you were able to travel. Even small amounts of travel expand your understanding of the world so much.
Perfect Ying & Yang Sense of humour
Yin
I smiled throughout this entire video! Seeing Uyen’s face filled with beauty and love when German Boyfriend is talking; is a visual representation of humanity. Thank you for allowing us to see into your relationship. It will give many people a road map of how real relationships grow and develop.
especially interracial/intercultural/multicultural relationships!!
She's so loveable! She's the rare influencer I could really be friends with.
Hey Uyen! I wrote my master thesis on ELF (English as a lingua franca) couples that live in Germany (though I focused more on Turkish/German ones), and that is also something I found: you end up developing your own English mixed both with your native language and the local language!
Reminds me of a friend of mine who speaks Spanglish with her mom, and it’s so interesting to listen to. It’s not just English words sprinkled in to Spanish, but uses English/Spanish hybrid words, pronunciations, and grammar. Also, some of the “wrong words” like they speak about in this video, but that makes sense to them. That’s the amazing thing about languages I think. They don’t ever stand still.
"When you are so compatible, the cultural difference is not so important." This is so true! Whether with friends or with my Russian husband, I have had more misunderstandings and misgivings with some of my countrymen and women than some people that were born and raised 20,000 km away, just because some people just have the same mentality and values and then it's a good match. My ex-boyfriend's mother (from the same country as me) did not like me at all, while my Russian mother in law and I love each other. So there is that.
The part where german bf said that he never felt so understood despite speaking two different languages 🥹❤ u guys are best couple ive seen. ❤
It's very telling that she knows the term "nuclear family" and GBF didn't. Like, we truly don't even think of our Western family model as exceptionally different until someone who didn't grow up with it shows us so
Okay, i am confused. German bf has a nuclear family. Maybe there isn't a term in German language for it, but he comes from a traditional family, mother, father, child(ren). That is the nucleus.
He’s not punctual!
OF COURSE IM PUNCTUAL!!
😂😂😂
I like that you two are very honest about the challenges of being in a relationship but also you’re so accepting of each other and understanding of your differences. It’s nice to see how much you clearly love each other and how much you grow together. You bring out the best in each other.
They have the best communication and that is why their relationship works so well! I love them.
With my husband, every question requires that he do a cost/benefit analysis to respond. After our years knowing each other, my feeling is; the response time is a net benefit and always worth waiting for. The value of a person who measures their speech is immeasurable. When a person take a moment to evaluate their output, you know that they care about how the people around them will receive them.
My husband is filipino and I totally see the large family thing from the other side. I love it, I truly do. It is confusing though when you try to figure out who a person is in relation to him and all relational titles are based more off age than relation. A tita may be his grandmother's younger sister in-law than an aunt.
But isn't that still an aunt? I never called my Great Aunt by that title, just Aunt/Auntie
@ibeemelissae yeah I guess but if she was older then she would be referred to as a lola which is the same title as grandmother. I suppose that example didn't show what I meant as clearly as I meant.
@@_hunnybeI always specify as there's large differences between my aunts and great aunts
My wife is Filipino and she has more first cousins than I have living relatives 😂
@dbul2542 that's also pretty accurate. Just blood related first cousins and none of their spouses he has like 20 something first cousins. Imagine when I met them all at once for the first time at Christmas. Lol.
"Your house is a mess"
"Yes because I live with a messy person"
I'm saving that to reply to my mom's complaints: all my sister's fault 😂
Being with your best friend is the key to happiness.
"he did nothing romantic for me"
He actuall planned a date in a meaningfull cafe in the same spot.
"But it is too hot!" 😂😂😂
Awee yall are so cute!! ❤ When he said he never felt more understood by someone despite not speaking in his native language I almost cried. Thats so beautiful. ❤❤❤❤
When German boyfriend said that you speak 10 times faster in Vietnamese I couldn’t picture it 😂 I think a fun idea for the video would be you talking with a friend or family in Vietnamese with English subtitles 😁 I always found I show different parts of my personality when speaking different languages so it would be fun to see you 😀
(Correct me if I’m wrong - but I haven’t seen any videos of you speaking in Vietnamese) ❤️
I think there's one where she is speaking with her parents (off screen) and then translating what they say into English for German boyfriend. But she's translating it in a funny way. But I agree, more Vietnamese videos would be great!
The thing about romance is so funny to me. I personally don't like these "fake" gestures (to me they are fake). But when I saw that gbf tried to grow Vietnamese vegetables for you or that he bought asian food before you arrived in Germany - THAT is romantic in my eyes!
"Why you sound so sexy?!" was 100% the appropriate ending.
Even asking "uncomfortable" questions, you are both very honest in your answers. The communication between you two is enviable, you are not afraid to say what you do or do not like about the other person's habits. If everyone was as open with their partner as you two are, the divorce rate would be lower.
Hello Uyen, I am an American married to a German woman, and it looks like we may have to move to Germany because American Immigration is slow and may not come through. I have a video idea; a video above moving to Germany as a foreigner and not speaking the language would be great to inform everyone about. Things like getting your immigration stuff handled, housing, and finding a job and stuff would be great and very entertaining, especially in your style.
Not to distract from Uyen's fabulous content, but until she finds time to do that ;) - I suggest the channel "Simple Germany" from a peruvian-german couple which covers all of the above.
Talk to an immigration lawyer if you haven’t already.
Why not? A spousal visa is one of the easiest to obtain
I'm American and it upsets me that you're having difficulty with immigration. It sounds like you and your wife are doing things the right way, while all around me I see people who enter illegally and get rewarded with tons of benefits. I've worked for employers who've gone through the process the right way and my current employer is sponsor to his mother trying to become a citizen now from Canada and it makes me sick the time and money that this costs. And it's just so unfair. Not to mention that so many of the ones sneaking in are bad people, dangerous criminals!
Living with a German, I find they can be secretly terrified of being wrong, making the wrong choice, doing the wrong thing (according to how they've been brought up), so I figure that's why it takes so long for them to answer a question :D...I would think it must be really hard sometimes to deal with the natural expectations that come with the different cultures...and just simply not knowing them. Must 'force' you to keep your mind and heart open to the differences and either celebrate them or meet in the middle. :) This is a LOVELY video!
Don't let Germans tell you there's true freedom of speech; there isn't, not now, not in the past. Some topics are downright illegal (e.g. a lot to do with WWII), some are just very strong social taboos (money, criticism of others etc).
What you learn early on is to have a public opinion and a private one.
Part of the reason why a German might take a while to respond is they're making complicated calculations how honest they can be under the circumstances. Between figuring out whether it's a "safe" topic and how much they can trust the person they're talking to, it can take a visible amount of time.
Not all Germans are like this, nor are they like this all the time. It also varies from region to region. Which makes the whole thing even more confusing and frustrating.
I'm German born and bred, married my American husband when I was already well into middle age. It took me years to even start losing this habit, but after nearly a decade I've opened up a lot (at least that's what I'd like to believe). It certainly makes me feel more at ease and less anxious.
Could hold some truth! The English word for feeling great worry about a situation is just the German word for fear, after all
As a German, I think: Yes, that's definitely a point.
yes, that's def. true
I LOOOVE how flirty you are in this video omg you're my favorite couple ever (including the fiction ones) bc you're so real and you guys are the reason I still believe there's a German boyfriend for my Uyen
I can relate so much with your videos. I'm German and my girlfriend is from the Philippines. She likes to cook 3 warm meals a day, always answering the video call even so the situation is not suited for that etc but I really love her from the bottom of my heart and your videos teach us so many things and make us laugh. So I just want to say thank you for your videos ! ❤😊
I've always loved your shorts, but because of your longer videos this has become one of my fave channels to watch on YT! I feel like everyone is making the same kind of polished content these days, but yours always just feels really sincere and so refreshing. Thank you for your originality!
Agreed! I hope you make even more of these long-form videos. 😊
You two could teach a relationship course. Everyday won’t be sunshine and rainbows, but you communicate honestly and that makes all the difference!
"His house a mess!"
"Yeah, because I live with a messy person"
lmao
Omg! You feel more confident when you speak English!? Me too!!! It's amazing how language changes our... mood(?) and even our way of thinking!!
Yes! Granted, I’m more fluent in English than Spanish these days but Spanish was my first language. I’ve noticed that I have a deeper and firm yet feminine voice in English and in Spanish it’s much softer, quiet and higher in pitch lol.
@@dylanthevillian516 Everything gets deeper in English haha Most of my friends have higher pitch voice when they speak Japanese than English haha
In a world that has trouble sometimes getting along, you guys show how to hold each other's differences lightly, with curiosity and respect for one another. Thanks for sharing with us!
It is rare to find unpretentious content creators nowadays. It is a bonus that you both are relatable and quirky like most of us. And that you and German boyfriend have hobbies that are so unique and true to yourself.
Once again you two are the most adorable wholesome couple on the english speaking Germany-RUclips corner.
I feel german boyfriend as a fellow german, I hate having to answer anything meaningful within seconds, I want to think deeply when it is something emotional being asked.
Just the two of you [or even one of you] talking about anything is such a wonderful thing to observe - always interesting, enlightening, amusing, enjoyable. I hope you do a lot more!
Your genuine transparency is so refreshing, and you too are just adorable 😊 together
You guys make me laugh. You both are so joyful and I am happy you two found each other.
The two of you make me smile. That isn't always something that happens for me. I'm thankful you're online.
You two are just the most enjoyable to watch. I smile every time! As a Canadian moved to Slovenia with a Slovenian man, I can relate 😂
My relationship is mixed from two English speaking countries and I can say the pressures are there anyway. What makes it work is personality and tolerance.
Uyen seems very direct, not beating around the bush!
The way he was playing with soft toy🙈 behind uyen ... So cute
Stay together and happy ❤️🤗
Thank you for doing this video. I found I was smiling all the way through it. The two of you are really great together. Bless you, Uyen and German Boyfriend! 😊
You two are so sweet! The love and affection you have for each other really shines through ❤
You guys are so down to earth and so "normal" that I could totally see us being friends for a lifetime 😂 If you're ever around Stuttgart and want to meet up, feel free to reach out! We have a lot of intercultural funny stories for you!
I’m a big fan of these guys too. I’m visiting Germany soon, do you recommend Stuttgart? [sorry if this is weird, no need to reply ✌️]
@@FollowmedowntheNumberWholei personally don‘t like Stuttgart that much! :D i recommend hamburg, münchen or berlin if u wanna visit a big city
This counts as couple counseling, yes ? XD Should we bill you for that ?
In all seriousness, I would have watched a longer version of this :) I'm sure there's tons of other topics to explore, and the two of you were not trying to do comedy but have a real conversation, so it gave some pretty great moments.
Thanks for opening up and sharing your dating experience regarding cultural differences! I (Asian) also have a German boyfriend (and yes, every time I tell people that I think of you lol) and certain things give rise to our conflicts that are culturally related. I was feeling a bit bumped about this but now I see it's a normal thing for interracial couples, and in the end, it is possible to create an even more rich and deep relationship! Thank you for giving me confidence to go on. :)
I just love you two. The love is beautiful to watch. Thank you for showing us.
You guys are so cute. Loved this video!! Made me laugh out loud multiple times.
It’s amazing to hear your stories about overcoming cultural differences, family fears, stereotypes etc to be a couple.
I am British and my wife is from Japan. We live in the UK and went through some similar cultural differences and expectations from family. You’re right that the key is to try and understand the other person and find common ground.
You two are my favorite youtubers! I watch you and am completely reminded of me and my wife. Im french-american and she is argentinian, we have many of the sam experiences
As a Peruvian I feel totally related. My French with French boyfriend is getting worse and worse. I use to speak formally and pronouncing each of the sounds. unconsciously i don't make the effort anymore because my boyfriend understand my accent and mix words in French and small Spanish words when I'm mad.
Thank you for sharing this experience and I noticed that your cultural differences are similar to me and my parents, because they're vietnamese, but I was born and grew up in Czech Republic, plus my parents never had time for me and my sister, so the cultural difference are really noticeable
I love you guys!!!! It’s not easy being in an inter cultural relationship and I love that you share the ups and downs! Despite the differences you seem very compatible!
I really enjoyed this video. It's nice to see the relationship growth the two of you have experienced. I think you have both learned to communicate well with each other and that is what continues to strengthen your relationship. Successful communication is extremely important in any relationship.
We love having his voice back.
thank you for sharing your experience being in a multicultural relationship because i can see that as a possibility in my future and seeing couples who work out like this makes my day!!! ❤❤❤
My husband is American, I was originally from Germany. While that might not sound like much of a cultural difference, the very idea that we "know" American culture because of movies etc is very deceptive.
It works great for us, though, because we're both xenophile. Probably the most important part is that you don't just passively accept that your partner is different, but that you enjoy it. If you're the kind of person who seeks out new experiences, this is for you.
Good luck!
@@p.s.shnabel3409that’s so lovely - happy for you both - cheers!
I love your videos. It occurs to me that a big thing you two have in common is a keen sense of humor.
I love this style of video. The two of you interacting is so fun, funny, and adorable.
Love you two. And expressing what you like and love about each other is beautiful, not cringe. We need to all learn across societies how to express this kine of positivity. We don't have enough of this good stuff. I love both cultures and food.
I really REALLY loved this video so much! The interaction between two people in love from totally different cultures gives me so much hope for the future. I am studying German, so that is how I found this channel. I am surprised at how much more it has to offer. You two are amazing! I hope someday "German Boyfriend" will come on camera too. Thanks for your content. I love it.
This was soooooooo great! Thank you for inviting us in to your conversation! ❤
Thanks for another video and for being yourselves! 😊
Such an entertaining video brimming with humor and sweetness. You guys are adorable together. This is probably one of my favorite long form videos so far.
Love you two. Two different cultures and languages but you have made a lovely couple. You both have such a great sense of humour and you are very open people. You really fit well. I love that I'm learning about Vietnamese and German people and how they feel about things
Brown and panda bear painting in the background is so cool . I feel like that is a representation of you two.
So sweet how you each found your person in spite of the distance and differences that would make such a match seem impossible ❤
I love your cultural differences, they make me smile. My husband and I were both from different cultures and I loved it. He passed away two years ago from Covid. He was young and vibrant and a beautiful soul. I still have half my life to live and right now I am not thinking about relationships, but if or when I am ready, I would definitely love being in a mixed relationship. I think they bring out the best in couples. They push you to see more and they test you to think beyond the norm. I wish you two all the love and luck a couple can have. ❤
I just love listening to you guys. You’re so unique and yet totally relatable for everyone. Thank you, I think you help people connect on deeper levels. All the best to you in your future. ❤🎉
The opening the beer bottle on the edge is hilarious as far as a new cultural learning!
Thank you Uyen and your German boyfriend.
Love this video. It is not to nit pick at each other, but you really do a marvelous job in complementing one another truthfully.
Awesome learning about both of your Countries.
I never get tired of watching your videos, when they arise.
I cannot take for granted what you might be touching on. You give me 'Food for thought'
Thank you , from New Zealand.
Thank you
Loved this, and it's great when there are no wrong answers, just listening with love! ❤️🙏💞
Love this!!!! Learning so much from the two of you. And I smile non-stop!!!! 😘
"you are open minded as long as it's not about food" said German boyfriend. 😄
Omg him with the axolotl 😂
I love all your videos but this one the most!! I have Vietnamese friends and German friends and your observations on cultures are very true !!
This was a lovely video. Thank you both ❤
I LOVED this video!! It’s so nice to learn about your honest, authentic experience!
Kinda missed ths type of vlogs, so comfy, keep it up!
This video is just so cute. I have a huge smile on my face as I am watching it. It is so sweet and authentic. Loved it.
You guys handle conflict so well, it's really aspirational!
You two are my favorite people. I love your story and all your videos about your lives. Your humor is the dopamine hit of the day 💕
I REALLY ADORE YOU GUYS SO MUCHHH
The ending was gold lmao. I love the brutal but compassionate honesty from both sides it really gives me hope that I can be that person for someone else in the future
Có thể kể câu chuyện để người ta nghe hết ngày này qua ngày khác không phải là dễ. Em rất là giỏi đấy Uyên. Chúc em thành công hơn nữa nhé
This is now my favorite video of yours, so wholesome ❤