As a darker skin person i have always been goth and people are so surprised when they see that i am. And treat me like a fetish and a idea. Its so frustrating.
person: I want a goth gf! *gets goth gf* goth gf: *wears gothic styled clothes* (there is a lot more but this is the example im using) person: You're seriously going out like that? you don't want a goth- you just want an E-girl-
I'm 29 and I am the mother of a 3 year old, and I'm still in my "goth phase". My husband isn't goth at all in dress, but in music taste and interests, which is more important to me anyway. People have even asked before if he's gonna start dressing like me or I him, but we are both content with who we are and I don't want to change him, or him me. People think we don't match because I'm goth and he's a "normie". But if they knew anything of the reality of the subculture and how people work together, that wouldn't even be a question.
People get so hung up on labels, its very self defeating. The very term "normie" has no value because what the F is normal? I mean its an attempted meter of range between extremes, but still fails to tell a holistic story. You can treat people as a stereotype or you can treat them as individuals, the first has no lasting scope, but i applaud your attitude and relationship.
it’s such a funny meme but i am so sick of being treated like an object because of the subculture i associate with. i just want to listen to alien sex fiend and kmfdm in peace without being a fetish.
Goth people can have the most beautiful perspective on death and dark emotions. I am a dark romantic myself but seeing as how I am not super into the Goth music, I’m not considered Goth. But I love the aesthetic, and how Goths are so genuine and caring. Lots of alternative cultures are this way, and regular people can be this way. I love all kinds of people and it makes me sad when one group gets judgement.
This is so spot on. People don't understand why I get so mad when they say they want a goth girlfriend, and I'm goth, and a girl, sitting there, like, knowing they don't really want the whole subculture. They just want an alternative lass that has an edgy side.
I think when a person doesn't dress like it or act like the stereotypes it's hard to tell if they're goth or not and tbh I just want a girlfriend I'm lonely I don't care how you dress so long as you're clothes are clean in fact I'll do the laundry
Very true. I always tell people who aren't into the subculture/darkly inclined/etc., you don't pursue a Goth gal because she dresses edgy or assume she's a lustful sex maniac. Underneath the clothing & make up is a woman, and like any other woman, she wants to feel respected & loved. I never viewed any of my Goth girlfriends as my "Goth" girlfriend. She was my lady.
Shoutout to the time I first saw a goth couple as a little kid, and I couldn’t stop staring, and me (being way too outgoing) went up to them and said “you’re really pretty!!” And continued to stare at them,
I think people just see us as a "novelty". They think we're edgy and dark and mysterious in every fiber of our being, as if we're some sort of cryptid, but once they find out we're just normal people who happen to have some niche hobbies, they get bored and walk away. They want a vampire, something legendary that doesn't exist. Not a goth with a personality and a life.
That and a lot of animated TV shows and movies have goth girl characters and most of these animated shows/movies were targeted towards a younger demographic, so maybe that influence their taste growing up. Also they see the goth girl as the ultimate bad girl fantasy.
I so wholeheartedly agree!!! First, like you said, so many of the guys who say this basically just want a cute e-girl type with a tattoo choker and dark clothes. They know nothing of the gothic subculture, nor do they care for it, and if they see an actual goth they usually think it's a weirdo. Second, GOD do I hate that "try dating a goth" thing! It's so disgusting to treat a HUMAN BEING like a fun novel experience. Talking about PEOPLE in the same way one would say "you should totally try pistachio ice cream at some point!" You don't just "try out" a person, that's incredibly gross and frankly kind of dehumanizing. Essentially treating people like commodities. Third, the fetishization of goths is indeed something we've struggled with for a long time. I can concede that some of the things we wear may overlap with things in the kink/BDSM communities but some people just take it waaay too far. Especially when they take the liberty of asking complete strangers about their sex lives just because they look a bit different, or even assume we're down to play out their little fantasies for them. Yuck! I guarantee that the goth girl you're drooling over has no interest in being your personal dominatrix, ya nasty. Leave us alone.
aside from being objectifying, it honestly stresses me out, like the guys saying they want a "goth gf" or a "big tiddy goth gf" are the people who bullied me for being goth n alt ffs, and the girls saying they're goth gf's are the girls who bullied me lmao. tbh only people I'm okay with saying it are goth/alt guys n girls lmaoo
I'm just genuinely attracted to goths, I never bullied anyone cause I was bullied myself and I'm soft and shit, but just something about the goth style is so aesthetic and I love it and I wouldn't mind having a goth/alt partner
Fr i got bullied for being goth/alt & “fat” (it was the 00s so in hindsight i just looked normal. But back then anyone not underweight was considered fat 🙄) & now theyre all turning around saying they want a “big tiddy goth gf” like bitch when u were around a big tiddy goth every day u bullied her stfu
I should have known there would be a problem when my ex husband and I were dating, when he said, "you look just like a girl in one of my magazines." The pattern continued, he liked me if I was just sitting there nice to look at and not saying anything. Avoid avoid avoid people like that okay? Please be safe.
It's that i'm into the dark alternative clothing, but my new bf tries to push me into that insta nu-gothy look, asks me things like " why aren't you wearing makeup like this" or " why don't you have your lashes and brows like that" despite I like some looks. Alot of women he likes wear too mutch makeup for my taste. Its just not the look for me. He makes me feel like i'm not pretty and doesn't appreceate the current me, since he's comparing me on a regular basis with these very beautiful, instagram makeup nu-goths... Which I am not.
I'm sorry he didn't appreciate you for what you are. I know a youtube reply doesn't mean much but You are amazing! and there needs to be more people like you. :D
Met a goth person before, was at high school. She was different visually and that got my attention, I got to know her better and learned that she was lonely but very creative. Things didn't work out because she was into literature and writing and I wasn't but sure it was some very pleasant moments I still miss.
I agree so much with this. I gotta say, as a goth, I’m not kinky at all. I’m honestly quit vanilla, and sex isn’t on my mind very often. Thank goodness my fiancé doesn’t mind. It took decades to find someone who doesn’t prioritize sex.
Yingtheeevee I can agree. I do like a certain subculture because they seem really kind and are really pretty! But I would also try and find somebody with a personality I like and I would only if they want me.
_"They turn normal at 25"_ Oh god, I'm 34 already, what should I do about my "gothiness"?? This proves they only want the _"idea of a goth girl"_ not a person.
I think the "big tiddy goth girlfriend" meme right now is just the current version of the "manic pixie dream girl" - this objectifying view of women who fit the ideal of what these guys think is a certain style, and that women who look a certain way will behave or have different emotions than any other human being. It's an infuriating aspect of misogyny, and super pervasive in the incel culture, that somehow a "goth girlfriend" would be any different from just any girlfriend. The biggest problem is that it does not see us as people.
Yeah for real! As a Goth Girlfriend™ myself, the only difference is, like.... the music I play in the car, and I once had a graveyard date with my boyfriend. But in practically every way our relationship is no different than any normie couple. For our anniversary we went to a nice fondue place. And this weekend we're going on a hike with a couple of his work mates. Wow so spooky such goffick I bet that's exactly what these dudes fantasize about!
"women who look a certain way will behave or have different emotions than any other human being." This isn't an aspect of misogyny, it's an aspect of humans. The majority of both genders seek people they find attractive and don't have the time of day for those they don't. Go outside.
Sorry about that I will consider your feelings and now I have a different viewpoint although I don't care bout big tiddy goth girlfriend I just like the style I don't think I'm objectifying but rather just wanting to have a girlfriend and see her wear that style just once because I think it would look good
My husband is a geek and I’m a goth but we both are interested in each other’s communities quite a bit, he actually introduced me to Voltaire’s music instead of vice versa and I introduced Star Trek and Harry Potter to him. We are both involved in each other’s communities and it works out really well cause we almost meet somewhere in the middle. I don’t think people realize how often the alternative world and the nerd world cross paths. :)
This reminds me of how some British guys aspire to date a Russian girl pretty much for the same reasons (she’s a novelty, wild in bed, but not for long term and will not age well). Now think of a goth Russian girl! What a coveted prize! Except we should date people because we are attracted to them, not for the collection.
Russian women are still traditional, acknowledge clear gender roles/differences and aren't buying dogs and 100 pairs of shoes to fill the childless void in their lives. It's not because they're pretty. Your welcome.
This is a really dumb point. I grew up with women fetishizing the latin lover stereotype, and I never dared tell women whom they're allowed to find attractive and why. If I did, I'd be an entitled asshole.
I have never been hit on from normal looking guys wanting just a goth GF . Maybe because am indian/black multiracial so my skin is dark. So I do not look like the stereotype pale skin goth to a non goth. So thank goodness I never delt with this. I have dated non goths in the past but this is before goth gf meme. I had no problems dating. i have other interests outside the goth subculture so I was bond to click with someone outside the culture too. There is nothing wrong dating a non goth but It does make me worry because of the meme now. I have to worry if a non goth is into me because of a fetish or genuinely in love with me as a person.
Once, in a fest, a guy came to me and said : "Ow yeah YoUr SaTaNisT aNd I'M sUrE YoU tAkE yO gUys iN yO cElLar aNd wHip 'em!" (It's a translation, but I'm sure he would sound like this if he was speaking english- "Oh I wAnT tHat! Be mY GF!" • ~~> precision : I was 15, he was at his mid 20... I answered no. I'm not satanist, and not interested in you, and wouldn't hurt someone. He left. The facts are that I'm lesbian (I didn't know this when it happened), and wouldn't never, ever, hurt my girlfriend; if I do, I could never forgive myself. And I'm goth, I love wearing spiky items and chains, dressed all in black and trying to be elegant when I'm okay. I wish this kind of pervs would know that and go away for good.
@Inside Barry's Mind they weren't implying that they thought witches and satanists were bad, they were implying that the people saying that had ill intent. Hopefully that doesn't come of rude, if that did I'm incredibly sorry! Coming from a fellow witch!
My boyfriend never even noticed the goth part of me. He loved my reasons behind being goth, and we've been happily together for over half a year now. He calls me his Angel of Darkness
A boy walked up to my friend (I’m a goth she is an egirl) and he was talking about how he wanted a goth gf (I’m non binary but I guess I looked feminine that day) and he was talking to my friend (an egirl) she pointed to me cause she said she was not goth but I was, he smirked and said “ew no” mainly cause I was wearing a pentacle (protection symbol in my practice) 🖐🤠
Yeah this pissed me off when this “trend” came about. My goth sis would make a dark joke, or wear her goth clothes. And these guys she was dating would ridicule her for it. Suffice to say she kicked them all to the curb. She’s finally in a healthy relationship with a guy that loves her for who she is. I’m more gothic punk myself than full goth. But my stance for approval was always along the lines of “If you’re not willing to give my sis a bat in formaldehyde like I did then you’re not worth her time.”
I already hate that article just from the title. Makes Goth girls sound like they're something disposable, something that's not a first-choice. We should date a person because we want to be with them long-term, not because of some short-term entertainment. That's just disrespectful.
very sad fact : while playing your videos, youtube recommends me videos like "normal girl transform into goth GF", "goth GF makeup tutorial" ..as if it was impossible to be goth without being someone's girlfriend.. - -" and the worst.. "E-girl makeup" ; "E-girl transformation" This #Egirlmakeup under instagram photos holds an horribly sad truth. We, as girls/women with 'soft' goth makeup and who like tartan skirts, are considered as E-girls now... ;-; Now I'll do what my middleschool mates believed as my favourite activity. Crying. (And sorry for my english)
I'm an emo and we are mostly called goths and it angers me. We are alternative but in a different way. We like wearing alot of black but we incorporate other colours into our outfits. I do like the goth style but I am not goth I'm just a darker emo
I was a goth in my teens and twenties, and then I lost myself. I started trying to dress less dark and wear more of the colors from my "seasonal color pallette," summer, which are pretty, but don't feel like me. I met my husband when I wasn't wearing the black and jewel toned clothes I loved but more muted colors, and I had dyed my hair light blonde, because so many people told me I looked better that way, and I believed them. He thought he married a thin, tan, blonde woman, but he married me in disguise. I thought that was who I should be. Yet chameleon me still listened to goth music, made goth style boards on pinterest, made art with witchy and gothic vibes, even wrote my MA thesis on the Victorian gothic. All of these things I did trying to be a "normie" and fit in, but I was so unhappy, and I didn't know why. It was only this Halloween, when he and I were looking for our costumes, did I remember what I lost almost 2 decades ago. When I saw my dress, a gorgeous blue and black lace corset dress, black velvet cape, black satin gloves, and headband with black horns and dragon wings, it all came rushing back to me. I hadn't felt like myself in almost 20 years! And when I told him how I used to be and dress, he asked me why I hid myself from him for so long. I didn't know what to say, because I didn't know why. I eventually told him that I was afraid that nobody would love me if they met the real me, because in those days, I heard so many hurtful words and dealt with so much criticism that I didn't want to hear it anymore. He was pretty hurt and told me that he didn't want a goth girlfriend or wife, or a "normie" girlfriend or wife. He only wanted someone to love and love him in return. And I told him that I will always love him, no matter how I dress or what I listen to. Showing him my real self brought us closer. I told him I want to renovate my wardrobe, so he ordered several bottles of black dye and other supplies for me so I can do that and be happy in what I wear. He loves me for who I am, not what I wear or how I look, and wants to support me to be myself. That's real love, as I see it. Never settle for less than someone who loves and accepts the real you beyond your appearance. You are beautiful, amazing, and wonderful. Please don't wait 20 years to recognize that, like I did. Please recognize it now.
I thought the video was completely useful. As a goth/alternative myself, I never stopped to think about this topic. Thanks God I'm already married with a very kind man, that loves me for what I'm and not for what I wear. I hope all goth girls find someone that appreciate than the way my husband does to me ♥️♥️♥️
Unfortunately, it hasn't totally died off yet. Even though it was supposed to be a "joke" they're still many people treating it as a legitimate thing to an extent when they see a girl who's goth.
I really like your hair cut. It is very flattering on you. Wow that article sounds very dehumanizing. Women & Goth women are human beings not a fetish themed funko-pop from Hottopic.
Great video! Lets all share this around and hopefully people will get educated. Most people who want the goth GF really are chasing the manic pixie dream girl trope except dressed in black. I remember that article, it was awful!
I’m not goth myself but I’ve mentioned a couple times that my girlfriend dresses either goth or punks to those who have asked and they expect the whole Kylie Jenner kinda stuff. It’s really funny when they see she has a death hawk tho.
I have seen people did mistake between goth and grunge or emo too😕. I think we need a official source to describe completely about goth appearance, how they are, what they look like, what accessories and stuffs they use and these cases🙂
It's so stressful. I'm ace but people tend to think that I'm into hard-core things and try to get with me. And when they discover that I'm not a walking stereotype, they abandon me. Many will get angry and say that I'm doing this dress up for attention and that I'm such a tease. When in reality, yes in a way it's for attention but not the fetish one. I love black and I want to dress differently than everyone else. I always found dark clothes and the subculture beautiful and want to be part of the community. It's the same for people who want to dress like the trends from the 1950's or cowboy wear, but because those a common trend, people tend to forget that it's based on the same ideal of finding your self through different styles. So many people don't understand the subculture and want an idealized version of someone. And sometimes that lie will lead them to date bad people and then get this negative mindset that all goths are the same or a certain way because that lie broke them. It's always the memes or podcast that say people ethier want a goth gf or don't want one because of one thought, "they're not a prude ". Which is harmful for many people because people uses you as a fetish or a whore example and will treat you as such.
I am a casual goth and this sucks.I wouldn’t like a person dating me for my looks in the first place.I have dark humor, I have dark ideas,I like dark things,I listen to goth music and I am into crystals.pretty sure theses “guys” wouldn’t want anything to do with me or learn.
As a younger goth myself I have seen this from basically everyone I’ve ever known to mention goth in schools or at work. They always mis labeled me as emo or an E-boy and even if I corrected them they would just kinda blow it off. Then the people they’d consider goth were either metal heads, or just random alt girls who did their hair in black and red. I’ll admit I’m not as versed in the subculture as I’d like to be. I’ve only read a few books and Ive only got a handful of bands I have gotten really into. But it is annoying when people try and act like they know more than me about it when they’re saying the kid wearing an MCR shirt who’s never head or Bauhaus is goth and I was just wearing black because back then I didn’t dress as extravagantly as I do now.
Yes, i am not sure what to consider myself as but two people in my family (my youngest cousin who only said it once and especially my little sister) keeps calling me emo and like i dont get it?? I keep correcting her and i just get so sad and mad because i have a hard time explaining to her that i do not know what i am yet and her just casually doing that all the time isnt funny, i don't consider myself as anything yet until i have a more wider knowledge of it. But one of my friends said that i do seem to look like i am leaning into Punk Rock (from what i remember them saying)so that's a possibility. 🤔 (Edit) Even if my little sister is pretty ignorant sometimes she is still a person and i am not doing this to antagonize her, just adding my own experience so far. 😊
Yes to all. People always think about goth as a clothing style, some think of satanism too, but I've never met anyone outside of the goth community who even knew what a goth is. Worst of all, I don't always have the Energy and Motivation to put much effort into how I look, therefore I don't always wear makeup. I have to get up Really Early and I oversleep more often than I like to admit. But *anytime* I wear makeup, my therapist (Yes, she's at my Working Place. She's kinda implied) starts like "Why do you look like this Today?" and feels the Need to interpret something into it and I'm always like "I am no more and no less depressed and overworked than I was yesterday, but that has *nothing* to do with my black lips or my cat eyes!!!"
yes this!!! see, i'm part of the subculture/ music genre of goth but tend to dress more emo- not gothic at all but nonetheless- me being draped in all black and seeming the *slightest* bit alternative looking just provokes men to start harassing me... It's so uncomfortable
Actually I agree so much with you and I believe this is just the "new trending" topic of a neverending story: for example: a few years ago we had a "boon" in geek culture and girls who always rejected "nerds/geeks" started loving then, "Smart now is sexy" with mottos like "The nerd from yesterday is the good husband tomorrow, he'll be the rich guy, the chad will be the fat guy in the future" and now everything finds chubby-nerdish guys sexy and girls on glasses so cute and sexy. I really find this offensive but well, the world is so fucked up, what can we do? PS. we also have a music about this nerdy stuff here in Brazil, is called "Escolha já seu nerd" (Pick your nerd already) take a look at the lyrics if you want to.
I LOVE wearing black and wearing nail polish!! I used to wear black lip stick but i can't find a girl that doesnt ask... "Why do you wear black nail polish." Most people don't get that Goth is Soooo Beautiful!!!!! Dark things are so gorgeous. Cyber goth, punk goth, all of it! I honestly wish there was more now a days, like what happened to my store hottopic??? :( There are boutiques but most stuff is online now.
You realize the most of the guys who say the "I want a goth gf line" don't really get a goth gf like never right? I agree that most people want an E-girl or alt girl, but its really disgusting to be placed with this kind of people, I like the goth look and overall mentality, thats why I would personally like going out with a goth gf
>that moment when you unironically gate keep people because they "aren't real goths" even though pastel goths are considered "real goths" when they are the equivalent of melting skittles onto a strobe light and pointing it into someone's eyes
The thing though is that goth is about the music more than the fashion. If the girl on the left actually listens to goth music, and the girl on the right is actually a metalhead, she’d actually be more “goth”. Everything else is spot on though, even though I don’t call myself goth most people see me that way and I get constantly fetishized (doesn’t help that I’m also pretty damn busty) so many unsolicited comments online, I’ve been groped at parties, etc.
That's actually something I was thinking about as I am someone who doesn't look traditionally goth but is still into the music, literature, etc. With that being said, I hope you stay safe from those creeps out there.
I’ve always been into goth people simply because I find them pretty cool people when u get to know them but it always frustrates me when people say “they want a goth gf or bf” when it’s just a person wearing black clothes
I was still sorta a baby bat when my gf and I started dating, now two years in I’m a LOT more outwardly goth in how I express myself and she still loves me just as much, and supports my interests and expression! She jokes about having a “goth gf” bc I’m ACTUALLY GOTH and we both think it’s funny to say ironically. This is what an actual supportive relationship between a goth and a non goth is like.
I want a goth gf bc I wanna be able to say some weird and pretty sick shit and she just laugh and say something just as crazy/weird. I have a very dark sense of humor so my girl needs one too
I agree with your overall statement, because I was bullied as a kid for being goth, and now it's just like... A cool thing. Hypocrisy. Lol. And aside from dating many goth people (I'm bisexual, and also trans and non-binary people exist and matter.) I'm what I consider 'metal goth'. Sure I dress like a typical metalhead, but there's also my punk style ques, and the fact that when I really feel like it, yeah I do my hair, outfit and make-up. Just because I don't constantly do my hair and make up or fit some stereotype, doesn't mean I'm not goth. True goth is finding beauty where others find disgust. And also, looking a certain way doesn't mean anything anyway. Anyone can look or dress goth, punk, metal, country hick, gangster thug, whatever. But unless your heart and soul genuinely belong to the people and culture, you're just a self-manufactured image. And real knows real, you'll just get noticed and called out about it eventually. Don't be something you're not. Be who you feel and think you want and should be. Just... try to have a decent sense of morality. Lol. But that right there in of itself is a very goth thing. Individuality amongst a crowd of kindred spirits. We may all look kinda similar, but we're all unique in our own ways.
I run a discord server where I get these types of comments and thoughts about goth girls, it never bothered me (I’m goth) but I’m curious about conducting some research about it now
Tbh.. I just want a girl that can love me. I've never been actual loved by a girl or had a girlfriend, so I just want someone who I can love and they can love me back. I'm not toxic or just want a pretty girl to sit there. I just want someone to give my love to 😔
I've dated many Gothic women. The most important thing they all had in common: they wanted to be treated with respect & dignity, as any woman surely deserves. I never addressed nor viewed the girl I was dating at the time as my "Goth" girlfriend; she was my lady, not a fetish or a trophy. Though some Goth women don't feel comfortable dating non-Goth men, but there are plenty of them who just want the chance to be in a loving relationship, subculture or not. I actually had a Goth girl pursue me because she saw my dirt bike an expressed her desire to learn how to ride one. She was clearing tabletop jumps in no time.
I'm a guy and I can honestly say I'm Goth personality wise so with that being said, if I say I want a Goth girlfriend it's because normal girls just don't dig my flow of how I see things in life and are easily put off by my non conforming mindset and people call me edgy so yea. As for the topic at hand, don't treat Goth people like a fetish dudes, and dudettes, it's demeaning and not cool🖤
PLS my ex bf said he liked goth girls, he likes egirls and thats completly fine, but when i dressed actually goth he wouldnt stop making comments???? 😩🤚
This shit was annoying because I’m not goth but I’m alt and I kept getting a bunch of creepy dudes trying to flirt with me and shit I’m glad that trend is over.
I really like these generalisations. Almost as much as the objectification of people - in this case goth girls. That's a classical for sexism and prejudices. Sad shit.
but like why date mainstreamers anyway? I've never dated a mainstream person because we have nothing in common. there will be clashes of music, itll be hard for me to explain the difference between mansonites and goths, emos and alt people and they will be uncomfortable with your clothes and the people staring at u while ur walking down the road with them. I just dont think it's a good match so I dont date men like that. they are usually only looking for sex anyway because they confuse the latex and the chokers with bdsm and they think that because we wear corsets and go to parties like that we are always up for bondage. meh I just role my eyes at them 😊🧸
Realistically, guys and girls have no control who they are attracted to…….there’s just certain things/characteristics that just gets you interested…..some guys tend to like blondes (which is fine) other guys tend to lean towards the characteristics of a goth girl but it’s likely the physical side that they guy is attracted to or that she seems interesting as the guy probably doesn’t know anything else about the girl until he gets to know her! I know some guys also get intimidated! I dated a goth girl in the past and we got on fine….we had our differences in our taste in music (I was more into dance music), but we were both massive horror movie fans so we had common ground also! That’s the most important thing! But there’s nothing wrong with finding a certain type of person interesting or attractive as long as your respectful and want to build or your initial attraction to know more about the person to see if you get on! 😊
I feel like goth is a state of mind, kind of like alternative or emo, where people feel think they want something just because of a silly meme that a kid made.
Agreed on your points. I think the problem only goes away when guy stop wanting a stereotype of the GF. Like stereotype of tomboy, goth, alternative etc.
As a lifelong goth who is currently 49 yrs.old I am highly amused by the whole "25 and done, now be normal" thing. I am actually stranger and way more eccentric or "goth" looking now than I was as a younger person. Why? Because I give absolutely zero f*cks what anyone thinks, I can afford all the things my teen and twenty something self wanted but couldn't afford, and I have had 30+ years of actually BEING goth to get really good at make-up/outfit planning/do it yourself alterations, etc. I am more myself now than I have ever been and honestly just plan on getting weirder thank you very much...
*girl wears black*
stereotypical boy:
OOH YES GIMME THAT GOTH GF 😩
😈
its actually 🥵
Funny
Yes.
nice sarcasm
As a darker skin person i have always been goth and people are so surprised when they see that i am. And treat me like a fetish and a idea. Its so frustrating.
Oh no... 💀
Same here, I'm like “tf is wrong with y'all”, dude we're so goth we aren't born white
as a human being i
Just say fuck you ❤️
same and when i wore dark clothes ; they say it doesn't suits me or i look better in simple stuffs.
They dont want a goth. They want a manic pixie dream girl.
Ah a woman of culture i see
@Celes So you wouldn't mind a girl who looks very otherworldly where she hardly looks human right?
@@OpalSilkMoth bit late to jump in, but that sounds like my wife: and as a misanthropist, I like it that way!
@@The_Phoenix_Saga you're into misanthropy. I see, a man of culture.
person: I want a goth gf! *gets goth gf*
goth gf: *wears gothic styled clothes* (there is a lot more but this is the example im using)
person: You're seriously going out like that?
you don't want a goth- you just want an E-girl-
so an emo?
What’s wrong with wanting an EGirl?
You said it best
I would like it if she did go out like that just letting her be her
Speak for yourself
I'm 29 and I am the mother of a 3 year old, and I'm still in my "goth phase". My husband isn't goth at all in dress, but in music taste and interests, which is more important to me anyway. People have even asked before if he's gonna start dressing like me or I him, but we are both content with who we are and I don't want to change him, or him me. People think we don't match because I'm goth and he's a "normie". But if they knew anything of the reality of the subculture and how people work together, that wouldn't even be a question.
this is rlly wholesome .w.
People get so hung up on labels, its very self defeating. The very term "normie" has no value because what the F is normal? I mean its an attempted meter of range between extremes, but still fails to tell a holistic story. You can treat people as a stereotype or you can treat them as individuals, the first has no lasting scope, but i applaud your attitude and relationship.
Rinny Cody same! My daughter is 4 & I’m 27 & still goth. My boyfriend is a metalhead tho. Every goth guy I’ve ever dated has been insufferable tbh.
Underrated comment. Goth is not about dressing any certain way. That gatekeeping needs to go away.
Yeah exactly, aesthetically I'm not goth, but interest and stuff I kinda am
it’s such a funny meme but i am so sick of being treated like an object because of the subculture i associate with. i just want to listen to alien sex fiend and kmfdm in peace without being a fetish.
KMFDM YES
Agreed
Goth people can have the most beautiful perspective on death and dark emotions. I am a dark romantic myself but seeing as how I am not super into the Goth music, I’m not considered Goth. But I love the aesthetic, and how Goths are so genuine and caring. Lots of alternative cultures are this way, and regular people can be this way. I love all kinds of people and it makes me sad when one group gets judgement.
I agree with this but I’m a Christian male so the odds of finding a Christian goth woman are extremely against me
@@obi-wankenobi4338 They existe !!!
Keep looking and you'll find 'em.
This is so spot on. People don't understand why I get so mad when they say they want a goth girlfriend, and I'm goth, and a girl, sitting there, like, knowing they don't really want the whole subculture. They just want an alternative lass that has an edgy side.
I think when a person doesn't dress like it or act like the stereotypes it's hard to tell if they're goth or not and tbh I just want a girlfriend I'm lonely I don't care how you dress so long as you're clothes are clean in fact I'll do the laundry
Can you be my goth girlfriend
Very true. I always tell people who aren't into the subculture/darkly inclined/etc., you don't pursue a Goth gal because she dresses edgy or assume she's a lustful sex maniac. Underneath the clothing & make up is a woman, and like any other woman, she wants to feel respected & loved. I never viewed any of my Goth girlfriends as my "Goth" girlfriend. She was my lady.
I just want an alternative lass who can keep up with my own edgy side.
@@Sanguine_Addiction ayyy fellow type o negative fan, I like your reference to wolf moon in your name btw
Shoutout to the time I first saw a goth couple as a little kid, and I couldn’t stop staring, and me (being way too outgoing) went up to them and said “you’re really pretty!!” And continued to stare at them,
Well, that's cute.
I think people just see us as a "novelty". They think we're edgy and dark and mysterious in every fiber of our being, as if we're some sort of cryptid, but once they find out we're just normal people who happen to have some niche hobbies, they get bored and walk away. They want a vampire, something legendary that doesn't exist. Not a goth with a personality and a life.
I'm definitely not "normal"
Yes
Maybe there just interested and don't understand the sub culture
That and a lot of animated TV shows and movies have goth girl characters and most of these animated shows/movies were targeted towards a younger demographic, so maybe that influence their taste growing up. Also they see the goth girl as the ultimate bad girl fantasy.
I so wholeheartedly agree!!!
First, like you said, so many of the guys who say this basically just want a cute e-girl type with a tattoo choker and dark clothes. They know nothing of the gothic subculture, nor do they care for it, and if they see an actual goth they usually think it's a weirdo.
Second, GOD do I hate that "try dating a goth" thing! It's so disgusting to treat a HUMAN BEING like a fun novel experience. Talking about PEOPLE in the same way one would say "you should totally try pistachio ice cream at some point!" You don't just "try out" a person, that's incredibly gross and frankly kind of dehumanizing. Essentially treating people like commodities.
Third, the fetishization of goths is indeed something we've struggled with for a long time. I can concede that some of the things we wear may overlap with things in the kink/BDSM communities but some people just take it waaay too far. Especially when they take the liberty of asking complete strangers about their sex lives just because they look a bit different, or even assume we're down to play out their little fantasies for them. Yuck! I guarantee that the goth girl you're drooling over has no interest in being your personal dominatrix, ya nasty. Leave us alone.
Spot on 👏
👌💯
aside from being objectifying, it honestly stresses me out, like the guys saying they want a "goth gf" or a "big tiddy goth gf" are the people who bullied me for being goth n alt ffs, and the girls saying they're goth gf's are the girls who bullied me lmao. tbh only people I'm okay with saying it are goth/alt guys n girls lmaoo
Bullies are idiots to me. You can be: goth,emo,punk,normie, if you are a bully you are just an idiot.
I don't understand the last part
I'm just genuinely attracted to goths, I never bullied anyone cause I was bullied myself and I'm soft and shit, but just something about the goth style is so aesthetic and I love it and I wouldn't mind having a goth/alt partner
Fr i got bullied for being goth/alt & “fat” (it was the 00s so in hindsight i just looked normal. But back then anyone not underweight was considered fat 🙄) & now theyre all turning around saying they want a “big tiddy goth gf” like bitch when u were around a big tiddy goth every day u bullied her stfu
I should have known there would be a problem when my ex husband and I were dating, when he said, "you look just like a girl in one of my magazines."
The pattern continued, he liked me if I was just sitting there nice to look at and not saying anything.
Avoid avoid avoid people like that okay? Please be safe.
Oh shit, dude, that's such a gross thing to say! I'm glad you're not with him anymore.
Sounds tuff
It's that i'm into the dark alternative clothing, but my new bf tries to push me into that insta nu-gothy look, asks me things like " why aren't you wearing makeup like this" or " why don't you have your lashes and brows like that" despite I like some looks. Alot of women he likes wear too mutch makeup for my taste. Its just not the look for me.
He makes me feel like i'm not pretty and doesn't appreceate the current me, since he's comparing me on a regular basis with these very beautiful, instagram makeup nu-goths... Which I am not.
I'm sorry he didn't appreciate you for what you are. I know a youtube reply doesn't mean much but You are amazing! and there needs to be more people like you. :D
How did he make it to being your husband in the first place because yikes😬
Met a goth person before, was at high school. She was different visually and that got my attention, I got to know her better and learned that she was lonely but very creative.
Things didn't work out because she was into literature and writing and I wasn't but sure it was some very pleasant moments I still miss.
Aww nice . . .
40-year-old goth girl here! I hate that article. So much misinformation. And I don't have "big tiddies"! Thanks for bringing this forward.
Cindy R you’re 40????? holy shit you don’t look older than 20 what is your secret?
I agree so much with this. I gotta say, as a goth, I’m not kinky at all. I’m honestly quit vanilla, and sex isn’t on my mind very often. Thank goodness my fiancé doesn’t mind. It took decades to find someone who doesn’t prioritize sex.
if ur gonna date someone in a subculture be it emo goth or whatever, do it because you like them as a person. ._.
oh shit highlighted comment? damn my guy thanks! . o. heckin did not expect
Yingtheeevee I can agree. I do like a certain subculture because they seem really kind and are really pretty! But I would also try and find somebody with a personality I like and I would only if they want me.
If you're going to date someone, anyone, do it because you like them as a person.
True me being a black person ik how it feels to be a fetish
And you're one, too!
_"They turn normal at 25"_ Oh god, I'm 34 already, what should I do about my "gothiness"??
This proves they only want the _"idea of a goth girl"_ not a person.
I'm 29 already, and I'm turning 30 this year. So at this point, I think that we can safely say that it's not a phase. :P
I think the "big tiddy goth girlfriend" meme right now is just the current version of the "manic pixie dream girl" - this objectifying view of women who fit the ideal of what these guys think is a certain style, and that women who look a certain way will behave or have different emotions than any other human being. It's an infuriating aspect of misogyny, and super pervasive in the incel culture, that somehow a "goth girlfriend" would be any different from just any girlfriend. The biggest problem is that it does not see us as people.
Yeah for real! As a Goth Girlfriend™ myself, the only difference is, like.... the music I play in the car, and I once had a graveyard date with my boyfriend. But in practically every way our relationship is no different than any normie couple. For our anniversary we went to a nice fondue place. And this weekend we're going on a hike with a couple of his work mates. Wow so spooky such goffick I bet that's exactly what these dudes fantasize about!
"women who look a certain way will behave or have different emotions than any other human being."
This isn't an aspect of misogyny, it's an aspect of humans.
The majority of both genders seek people they find attractive and don't have the time of day for those they don't.
Go outside.
Yes, because when someone says 'I want a goth girlfriend', they want to date an alien...
Sorry about that I will consider your feelings and now I have a different viewpoint although I don't care bout big tiddy goth girlfriend I just like the style I don't think I'm objectifying but rather just wanting to have a girlfriend and see her wear that style just once because I think it would look good
Incel culture? Yikes, sounds scary 😵💫
They dont want a goth gf they want a Starbucks gf.
omg stfu
Wait starbucks started selling gfs are they as shit as their coffee?
Lmao
@@oliviadomingues26 LMAO Starbucks girl
My husband is a geek and I’m a goth but we both are interested in each other’s communities quite a bit, he actually introduced me to Voltaire’s music instead of vice versa and I introduced Star Trek and Harry Potter to him. We are both involved in each other’s communities and it works out really well cause we almost meet somewhere in the middle. I don’t think people realize how often the alternative world and the nerd world cross paths. :)
Love the way you think
What annoys me more is the Instagram e-girls/e-boys using the meme and hashtags like #gothbitch while taking tons selfies of themselves. 😑
This reminds me of how some British guys aspire to date a Russian girl pretty much for the same reasons (she’s a novelty, wild in bed, but not for long term and will not age well). Now think of a goth Russian girl! What a coveted prize! Except we should date people because we are attracted to them, not for the collection.
Russian women are still traditional, acknowledge clear gender roles/differences and aren't buying dogs and 100 pairs of shoes to fill the childless void in their lives. It's not because they're pretty. Your welcome.
Oh well I am russian and goth..
This is a really dumb point. I grew up with women fetishizing the latin lover stereotype, and I never dared tell women whom they're allowed to find attractive and why. If I did, I'd be an entitled asshole.
I have never been hit on from normal looking guys wanting just a goth GF . Maybe because am indian/black multiracial so my skin is dark. So I do not look like the stereotype pale skin goth to a non goth. So thank goodness I never delt with this. I have dated non goths in the past but this is before goth gf meme. I had no problems dating. i have other interests outside the goth subculture so I was bond to click with someone outside the culture too. There is nothing wrong dating a non goth but It does make me worry because of the meme now. I have to worry if a non goth is into me because of a fetish or genuinely in love with me as a person.
Once, in a fest, a guy came to me and said :
"Ow yeah YoUr SaTaNisT aNd I'M sUrE YoU tAkE yO gUys iN yO cElLar aNd wHip 'em!" (It's a translation, but I'm sure he would sound like this if he was speaking english- "Oh I wAnT tHat! Be mY GF!"
• ~~> precision : I was 15, he was at his mid 20...
I answered no. I'm not satanist, and not interested in you, and wouldn't hurt someone.
He left.
The facts are that I'm lesbian (I didn't know this when it happened), and wouldn't never, ever, hurt my girlfriend; if I do, I could never forgive myself. And I'm goth, I love wearing spiky items and chains, dressed all in black and trying to be elegant when I'm okay. I wish this kind of pervs would know that and go away for good.
My boyfriend said he wanted a goth gf, then asked me to wear a beanie.
like no babe, I'm siouxsie and the banshees goth, not warped tour "goth."
Ikr goth and emo are literally so different
They always want a "goth gf", but then they call me a satanist and a witch and shit. Like yo, I'm literally a goth girl.
@Inside Barry's Mind they weren't implying that they thought witches and satanists were bad, they were implying that the people saying that had ill intent. Hopefully that doesn't come of rude, if that did I'm incredibly sorry! Coming from a fellow witch!
Man WHAT
People who get labelled into 'satanist' or 'witch' are like the best people ever
Question? Isn't the history of goth is from the dark ages? Hence, wasnt Rome's majority engaged into demonic practices?
My boyfriend never even noticed the goth part of me. He loved my reasons behind being goth, and we've been happily together for over half a year now. He calls me his Angel of Darkness
I love that nickname!!!
Whoever wrote this article is insanely ignorant and as a goth its offensive.
A boy walked up to my friend (I’m a goth she is an egirl) and he was talking about how he wanted a goth gf (I’m non binary but I guess I looked feminine that day) and he was talking to my friend (an egirl) she pointed to me cause she said she was not goth but I was, he smirked and said “ew no” mainly cause I was wearing a pentacle (protection symbol in my practice) 🖐🤠
I wanna be an E-girl but I'm broke! like 👍🏼 if you agree
Pfft...
True goth?
You ain't goth until you sacked Rome!
Underrated comment
These mfers calling themselves goths, ok then where is your helmet? Your spear? Get outta heeeeerrreeeee
@@femboyskeleton9150 ikr. These guys wouldn't stand a chance against Belisarius, guess the real ones didn't either lol.
I have visgoth blood on my veins, fear me.
Yeah this pissed me off when this “trend” came about. My goth sis would make a dark joke, or wear her goth clothes. And these guys she was dating would ridicule her for it. Suffice to say she kicked them all to the curb. She’s finally in a healthy relationship with a guy that loves her for who she is.
I’m more gothic punk myself than full goth. But my stance for approval was always along the lines of “If you’re not willing to give my sis a bat in formaldehyde like I did then you’re not worth her time.”
I'm a male goth and I have to admit that's one of the worst meme i've ever heard
I can relate to this comment
Same
And now we have the tomboy gf meme 🙃
i want a goth gf but an actual goth girl. because i am a goth boy. pretty simple lmao i want to date my own kind
I already hate that article just from the title. Makes Goth girls sound like they're something disposable, something that's not a first-choice. We should date a person because we want to be with them long-term, not because of some short-term entertainment. That's just disrespectful.
agree
very sad fact : while playing your videos, youtube recommends me videos like "normal girl transform into goth GF", "goth GF makeup tutorial" ..as if it was impossible to be goth without being someone's girlfriend.. - -" and the worst..
"E-girl makeup" ; "E-girl transformation"
This #Egirlmakeup under instagram photos holds an horribly sad truth. We, as girls/women with 'soft' goth makeup and who like tartan skirts, are considered as E-girls now... ;-;
Now I'll do what my middleschool mates believed as my favourite activity. Crying. (And sorry for my english)
Its frustrating that we get bullied for being a certain way but now for a few years everyone wants to be us because its trendy and uwu so hot
I'm an emo and we are mostly called goths and it angers me. We are alternative but in a different way. We like wearing alot of black but we incorporate other colours into our outfits. I do like the goth style but I am not goth I'm just a darker emo
Lol, I'm goth and I get called emo all the time. I thought people didn't even know what goth is.
I just want a goth girlfriend so we wouldn’t have to do separate laundry loads and wouldn’t argue over music in the car 🤷🏻♂️
It’s not a “goth gf” a goth or not it’s still your just girlfriend , like what does the sub culture have to do with it
@@wherearethegorls1350Having things in common
I’ve been getting really tired of the average dude fetishizing me because of the way I look and they assume we’ll do some freaky stuff 🙄
so your saying you Don't?...
I was a goth in my teens and twenties, and then I lost myself. I started trying to dress less dark and wear more of the colors from my "seasonal color pallette," summer, which are pretty, but don't feel like me. I met my husband when I wasn't wearing the black and jewel toned clothes I loved but more muted colors, and I had dyed my hair light blonde, because so many people told me I looked better that way, and I believed them. He thought he married a thin, tan, blonde woman, but he married me in disguise. I thought that was who I should be. Yet chameleon me still listened to goth music, made goth style boards on pinterest, made art with witchy and gothic vibes, even wrote my MA thesis on the Victorian gothic. All of these things I did trying to be a "normie" and fit in, but I was so unhappy, and I didn't know why. It was only this Halloween, when he and I were looking for our costumes, did I remember what I lost almost 2 decades ago. When I saw my dress, a gorgeous blue and black lace corset dress, black velvet cape, black satin gloves, and headband with black horns and dragon wings, it all came rushing back to me. I hadn't felt like myself in almost 20 years! And when I told him how I used to be and dress, he asked me why I hid myself from him for so long. I didn't know what to say, because I didn't know why. I eventually told him that I was afraid that nobody would love me if they met the real me, because in those days, I heard so many hurtful words and dealt with so much criticism that I didn't want to hear it anymore. He was pretty hurt and told me that he didn't want a goth girlfriend or wife, or a "normie" girlfriend or wife. He only wanted someone to love and love him in return. And I told him that I will always love him, no matter how I dress or what I listen to. Showing him my real self brought us closer. I told him I want to renovate my wardrobe, so he ordered several bottles of black dye and other supplies for me so I can do that and be happy in what I wear. He loves me for who I am, not what I wear or how I look, and wants to support me to be myself. That's real love, as I see it. Never settle for less than someone who loves and accepts the real you beyond your appearance. You are beautiful, amazing, and wonderful. Please don't wait 20 years to recognize that, like I did. Please recognize it now.
I agree, I think some people are attempting a kind of sexual tourism. People are people and using them as a toy, emotionally or physically is wrong.
I thought the video was completely useful. As a goth/alternative myself, I never stopped to think about this topic. Thanks God I'm already married with a very kind man, that loves me for what I'm and not for what I wear. I hope all goth girls find someone that appreciate than the way my husband does to me ♥️♥️♥️
I'm so glad this meme is finally dead
Not Dead yet unfortunately. PS. love the name
Agreed
Unfortunately, it hasn't totally died off yet. Even though it was supposed to be a "joke" they're still many people treating it as a legitimate thing to an extent when they see a girl who's goth.
It's not dead yet
I really like your hair cut. It is very flattering on you. Wow that article sounds very dehumanizing. Women & Goth women are human beings not a fetish themed funko-pop from Hottopic.
Great video! Lets all share this around and hopefully people will get educated.
Most people who want the goth GF really are chasing the manic pixie dream girl trope except dressed in black.
I remember that article, it was awful!
I want gothic gf so I can show her some death metal and she can show me sister of mercy
I don't want a goth girlfriend, I want a goth friend who is a girl, or a goth male, or having both as friends.
I’m not goth myself but I’ve mentioned a couple times that my girlfriend dresses either goth or punks to those who have asked and they expect the whole Kylie Jenner kinda stuff. It’s really funny when they see she has a death hawk tho.
As a goth girl, I want a goth girl.
But nobody wants a goth boyfriend ;-;
You kidding me? I get all sorts of compliments on my skeleton jeans.
I wish I have a goth boyfriend
That way he won't make fun of me and will understand me
i do
yes we do
I have seen people did mistake between goth and grunge or emo too😕.
I think we need a official source to describe completely about goth appearance, how they are, what they look like, what accessories and stuffs they use and these cases🙂
Yeah, no. Goth is not about how you dress. We don't need that sort of gatekeeping in the community.
You sound a bit like Cher 🖤
And I think you're right. I would also say every stereotype is a bad stereotype, so don't judge the book by it's cover.
It's so stressful. I'm ace but people tend to think that I'm into hard-core things and try to get with me. And when they discover that I'm not a walking stereotype, they abandon me. Many will get angry and say that I'm doing this dress up for attention and that I'm such a tease. When in reality, yes in a way it's for attention but not the fetish one. I love black and I want to dress differently than everyone else. I always found dark clothes and the subculture beautiful and want to be part of the community. It's the same for people who want to dress like the trends from the 1950's or cowboy wear, but because those a common trend, people tend to forget that it's based on the same ideal of finding your self through different styles. So many people don't understand the subculture and want an idealized version of someone. And sometimes that lie will lead them to date bad people and then get this negative mindset that all goths are the same or a certain way because that lie broke them. It's always the memes or podcast that say people ethier want a goth gf or don't want one because of one thought, "they're not a prude ". Which is harmful for many people because people uses you as a fetish or a whore example and will treat you as such.
A fellow acesexual
I want a Mexican gf so she makes me tacos and burritos
I am a casual goth and this sucks.I wouldn’t like a person dating me for my looks in the first place.I have dark humor, I have dark ideas,I like dark things,I listen to goth music and I am into crystals.pretty sure theses “guys” wouldn’t want anything to do with me or learn.
As an emo boy I have always wanted an alt/goth gf
I alwayz wanted a goth girlfriends, because we are allies, so we could trust each other like no-one else.
Ain't looking for goth girlfriend. Looking for a goth wifey. Trying to live that Adams Family life
As a younger goth myself I have seen this from basically everyone I’ve ever known to mention goth in schools or at work.
They always mis labeled me as emo or an E-boy and even if I corrected them they would just kinda blow it off.
Then the people they’d consider goth were either metal heads, or just random alt girls who did their hair in black and red.
I’ll admit I’m not as versed in the subculture as I’d like to be.
I’ve only read a few books and Ive only got a handful of bands I have gotten really into. But it is annoying when people try and act like they know more than me about it when they’re saying the kid wearing an MCR shirt who’s never head or Bauhaus is goth and I was just wearing black because back then I didn’t dress as extravagantly as I do now.
Yes, i am not sure what to consider myself as but two people in my family (my youngest cousin who only said it once and especially my little sister) keeps calling me emo and like i dont get it?? I keep correcting her and i just get so sad and mad because i have a hard time explaining to her that i do not know what i am yet and her just casually doing that all the time isnt funny, i don't consider myself as anything yet until i have a more wider knowledge of it. But one of my friends said that i do seem to look like i am leaning into Punk Rock (from what i remember them saying)so that's a possibility. 🤔
(Edit)
Even if my little sister is pretty ignorant sometimes she is still a person and i am not doing this to antagonize her, just adding my own experience so far. 😊
Yes to all. People always think about goth as a clothing style, some think of satanism too, but I've never met anyone outside of the goth community who even knew what a goth is. Worst of all, I don't always have the Energy and Motivation to put much effort into how I look, therefore I don't always wear makeup. I have to get up Really Early and I oversleep more often than I like to admit. But *anytime* I wear makeup, my therapist (Yes, she's at my Working Place. She's kinda implied) starts like "Why do you look like this Today?" and feels the Need to interpret something into it and I'm always like "I am no more and no less depressed and overworked than I was yesterday, but that has *nothing* to do with my black lips or my cat eyes!!!"
I'm goth, but that shits expensive and I also like pink so I wear that alot
And so when I say I'm goth they think I'm faking it? Like what?
yes this!!! see, i'm part of the subculture/ music genre of goth but tend to dress more emo- not gothic at all but nonetheless- me being draped in all black and seeming the *slightest* bit alternative looking just provokes men to start harassing me... It's so uncomfortable
Yeah I’m goth not I’m not kinky
Actually I agree so much with you and I believe this is just the "new trending" topic of a neverending story: for example: a few years ago we had a "boon" in geek culture and girls who always rejected "nerds/geeks" started loving then, "Smart now is sexy" with mottos like "The nerd from yesterday is the good husband tomorrow, he'll be the rich guy, the chad will be the fat guy in the future" and now everything finds chubby-nerdish guys sexy and girls on glasses so cute and sexy. I really find this offensive but well, the world is so fucked up, what can we do?
PS. we also have a music about this nerdy stuff here in Brazil, is called "Escolha já seu nerd" (Pick your nerd already) take a look at the lyrics if you want to.
it's great to fight stereotypes ! Continue !
I LOVE wearing black and wearing nail polish!! I used to wear black lip stick but i can't find a girl that doesnt ask... "Why do you wear black nail polish."
Most people don't get that Goth is Soooo Beautiful!!!!! Dark things are so gorgeous. Cyber goth, punk goth, all of it! I honestly wish there was more now a days, like what happened to my store hottopic??? :( There are boutiques but most stuff is online now.
You realize the most of the guys who say the "I want a goth gf line" don't really get a goth gf like never right? I agree that most people want an E-girl or alt girl, but its really disgusting to be placed with this kind of people, I like the goth look and overall mentality, thats why I would personally like going out with a goth gf
>that moment when you unironically gate keep people because they "aren't real goths" even though pastel goths are considered "real goths" when they are the equivalent of melting skittles onto a strobe light and pointing it into someone's eyes
The thing though is that goth is about the music more than the fashion. If the girl on the left actually listens to goth music, and the girl on the right is actually a metalhead, she’d actually be more “goth”. Everything else is spot on though, even though I don’t call myself goth most people see me that way and I get constantly fetishized (doesn’t help that I’m also pretty damn busty) so many unsolicited comments online, I’ve been groped at parties, etc.
That's actually something I was thinking about as I am someone who doesn't look traditionally goth but is still into the music, literature, etc. With that being said, I hope you stay safe from those creeps out there.
I’ve always been into goth people simply because I find them pretty cool people when u get to know them but it always frustrates me when people say “they want a goth gf or bf” when it’s just a person wearing black clothes
I was still sorta a baby bat when my gf and I started dating, now two years in I’m a LOT more outwardly goth in how I express myself and she still loves me just as much, and supports my interests and expression! She jokes about having a “goth gf” bc I’m ACTUALLY GOTH and we both think it’s funny to say ironically. This is what an actual supportive relationship between a goth and a non goth is like.
I want a goth gf bc I wanna be able to say some weird and pretty sick shit and she just laugh and say something just as crazy/weird. I have a very dark sense of humor so my girl needs one too
These dudes have obviously watched too many danny phantom
I agree with your overall statement, because I was bullied as a kid for being goth, and now it's just like... A cool thing. Hypocrisy. Lol. And aside from dating many goth people (I'm bisexual, and also trans and non-binary people exist and matter.) I'm what I consider 'metal goth'. Sure I dress like a typical metalhead, but there's also my punk style ques, and the fact that when I really feel like it, yeah I do my hair, outfit and make-up.
Just because I don't constantly do my hair and make up or fit some stereotype, doesn't mean I'm not goth. True goth is finding beauty where others find disgust. And also, looking a certain way doesn't mean anything anyway. Anyone can look or dress goth, punk, metal, country hick, gangster thug, whatever. But unless your heart and soul genuinely belong to the people and culture, you're just a self-manufactured image. And real knows real, you'll just get noticed and called out about it eventually.
Don't be something you're not. Be who you feel and think you want and should be. Just... try to have a decent sense of morality. Lol. But that right there in of itself is a very goth thing. Individuality amongst a crowd of kindred spirits. We may all look kinda similar, but we're all unique in our own ways.
I run a discord server where I get these types of comments and thoughts about goth girls, it never bothered me (I’m goth) but I’m curious about conducting some research about it now
Sounds like it would be really interesting.
Tbh.. I just want a girl that can love me. I've never been actual loved by a girl or had a girlfriend, so I just want someone who I can love and they can love me back. I'm not toxic or just want a pretty girl to sit there. I just want someone to give my love to 😔
Thank you thank you thank you thank you
I've dated many Gothic women. The most important thing they all had in common: they wanted to be treated with respect & dignity, as any woman surely deserves. I never addressed nor viewed the girl I was dating at the time as my "Goth" girlfriend; she was my lady, not a fetish or a trophy. Though some Goth women don't feel comfortable dating non-Goth men, but there are plenty of them who just want the chance to be in a loving relationship, subculture or not. I actually had a Goth girl pursue me because she saw my dirt bike an expressed her desire to learn how to ride one. She was clearing tabletop jumps in no time.
I'm a guy and I can honestly say I'm Goth personality wise so with that being said, if I say I want a Goth girlfriend it's because normal girls just don't dig my flow of how I see things in life and are easily put off by my non conforming mindset and people call me edgy so yea. As for the topic at hand, don't treat Goth people like a fetish dudes, and dudettes, it's demeaning and not cool🖤
YEs! This right here folks! 🥳🥳🥳
PLS my ex bf said he liked goth girls, he likes egirls and thats completly fine, but when i dressed actually goth he wouldnt stop making comments???? 😩🤚
This shit was annoying because I’m not goth but I’m alt and I kept getting a bunch of creepy dudes trying to flirt with me and shit I’m glad that trend is over.
I love your girl!! You're sooo into the point. I'm going to upload very soon a video about goths and social media you should definitely watch it!
I really like these generalisations. Almost as much as the objectification of people - in this case goth girls. That's a classical for sexism and prejudices. Sad shit.
but like why date mainstreamers anyway? I've never dated a mainstream person because we have nothing in common. there will be clashes of music, itll be hard for me to explain the difference between mansonites and goths, emos and alt people and they will be uncomfortable with your clothes and the people staring at u while ur walking down the road with them. I just dont think it's a good match so I dont date men like that. they are usually only looking for sex anyway because they confuse the latex and the chokers with bdsm and they think that because we wear corsets and go to parties like that we are always up for bondage. meh I just role my eyes at them 😊🧸
Realistically, guys and girls have no control who they are attracted to…….there’s just certain things/characteristics that just gets you interested…..some guys tend to like blondes (which is fine) other guys tend to lean towards the characteristics of a goth girl but it’s likely the physical side that they guy is attracted to or that she seems interesting as the guy probably doesn’t know anything else about the girl until he gets to know her! I know some guys also get intimidated! I dated a goth girl in the past and we got on fine….we had our differences in our taste in music (I was more into dance music), but we were both massive horror movie fans so we had common ground also! That’s the most important thing! But there’s nothing wrong with finding a certain type of person interesting or attractive as long as your respectful and want to build or your initial attraction to know more about the person to see if you get on! 😊
I feel like goth is a state of mind, kind of like alternative or emo, where people feel think they want something just because of a silly meme that a kid made.
I’m a bit alternative, and believe it or not... I’m ace.
goth girls dont look like anime characters
I'm a darkly inclined & I would date a goth gril if there was one in my area
Agreed on your points. I think the problem only goes away when guy stop wanting a stereotype of the GF. Like stereotype of tomboy, goth, alternative etc.
i want a goth girlfriend because i am a goth girl too lmao
Well I'm a goth guy is it bad I want a goth girlfriend?
Thanks for this video lmao I have been trying to explain this for years
I just wanted a girlfriend or even a boyfriend
As a lifelong goth who is currently 49 yrs.old I am highly amused by the whole "25 and done, now be normal" thing. I am actually stranger and way more eccentric or "goth" looking now than I was as a younger person. Why? Because I give absolutely zero f*cks what anyone thinks, I can afford all the things my teen and twenty something self wanted but couldn't afford, and I have had 30+ years of actually BEING goth to get really good at make-up/outfit planning/do it yourself alterations, etc. I am more myself now than I have ever been and honestly just plan on getting weirder thank you very much...
i noticed you have the book scythe! i also have that on my book shelf
I've always loved the subculture, and the overall look--its a good thing for sure.
I'm pretty sure I'm attracted to goth girls lmao
Very nice job Elise!
Wished I hadda gothic GF. The music, the darker view on life......sexed up women dressed up goth is a turn off to me