I was once on a Wizz Air flight to Warsaw when the pilots "accidentally" left the PA switched on and proceeded to have a conversation where they forgot where they were flying to. It was brilliant :P
All joking aside, I was on an aeroplane once with my wife and during taxi the pilot stopped and said "Ladies and gentlemen please bear with us, we've just noticed a fault with one of our navigation systems. We're going to try the old IT trick of" turning it off and on again". We'll keep you posted." A few minutes later he announced that everything was working again. The rest of our flight was uneventful.
@@williamnation-dixon7743 Don't know whether to be very happy for Victoria, or sorry for her. (Who am I kidding? The right answer is obviously to be jealous of them both.)
I know this is old and a joke but you can't cause there's something called 'sterile cockpit' where you can't make any comment related to something other than the initial climb to 10000ft
Bad things to hear on an aeroplane: “This is your captain speaking. For passengers wishing to use the forward starboard toilet… I’d give it about 20 minutes.”
“Hello this is your pilot speaking we hope you enjoy your 24 hours flight to Australia, you’re Cabin crew member Frankie Boyle will be looking after you on this flight”
Bad things to hear on an Aircraft- “Hello this is your pilot speaking we hope you enjoy your 24 hours flight to Australia, you’re Cabin crew member Frankie Boyle will be looking after you on this flight”
Mock the Week is brilliant, love this one, brilliant line up, 4 regulars rule and David Mitchell is brilliant at stand up. shame Dara doesn't join in this round.
Many years ago, the cabin crew on Virgin Airlines (Australia) used to say all kinds of amusing things in the pre-flight safety demonstration - I remember them saying "your lifejacket is fitted with a whistle - to scare away the sharks". (True story).
Before we start flying I'd like to say a few words: The food is inedible. The engine is faulty. And the doors have trouble opening. Have a nice flight!
American skinhead skatepunks in California used to celebrate 4/20 with a party. The other skatepunks didn't care it was for Hitler's birthday because they'd get free beer out of it. Then it became an American tradition in the 1990s to smoke weed on that day and then Europe copied them. Like when all the people who hate Irish people and Catholics get wasted on St. Patrick's Day or college students shag outside on May Day. People just need an excuse to do something.
“Alright, so, have any of you seen that film from the 80s, Airplane? Well, long story short, are any of you by chance an ex-fighter pilot? No? Oh, just checking. Nothing to worry about.”
@chrisgonatakethepiss I guess I just really love how happy he is. Even when he is making fun of someone, he isnt really laughing at them, but instead is pointing out something they probably never though about themselves. But, to each his own.
It needs to be said that comedians have carried me through the "trump error." I love American comics too such as Stephen Colbert, but eight of the ten funny humans on my list are from the UK. So as both my jaw and butt unclench for the first time in five years, I just want each of you to know what an important role you have played in keeping me sane. Thanks from Seattle
You haven't lived until you've boarded a plane, strapped yourself in, and then realised that members of the ground crew are strapping bits of the interior together with zip-ties. It makes you check to make sure that your lifejacket is under your seat, and that your will is up to date.
"If any passengers happen to find the plane's user manual, would you kindly deliver it to the cockpit. Thank you."
buddy holly's last words
Brilliant! 😆
this is why you should leave it to the professionals
" due to unforeseen islamic fundamentalists, this plane is being diverted to paradise "
cracks me up all the time
XD
unless your on the plane
@Dx Fire The BBC were literally heavily biased for Boris.
One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard😂
Adam Jones They really weren’t lmao, before you go off I voted for Corbyn
"I'm sorry, due to unforseen Islamic fundamentalism, this plane is being diverted to paradise." Hugh Dennis just doesn't get enough praise.
Don't think you could make that one today
@Alan Cogan HAHAHAHA
@Alan Cogan His dad abused many children throughout Hampshire.
@@ENZOxDV9 you could. Maybe in britain but not in america
Lol the amount of people who say you can’t do this today when things like this and worse are STILL coming out.
Bad things to hear on an airplane 2020 version: "Cough"
''does anybody know how to get out of the bermuda triangle?''
Create a circle
'Good morning passengers this is your- ohhh what does this button do?"
I was once on a Wizz Air flight to Warsaw when the pilots "accidentally" left the PA switched on and proceeded to have a conversation where they forgot where they were flying to. It was brilliant :P
Alex Tunstall No way 😂😂😂
anna17 yes way! It was all intentional and just them being jokers
Alex Tunstall So funny 😂
...and? Continue,woman!
All joking aside, I was on an aeroplane once with my wife and during taxi the pilot stopped and said "Ladies and gentlemen please bear with us, we've just noticed a fault with one of our navigation systems. We're going to try the old IT trick of" turning it off and on again". We'll keep you posted." A few minutes later he announced that everything was working again. The rest of our flight was uneventful.
Samuel Holmes cool story bro. I’m serious. It was kinda cool.
True story?
Better in taxing than in flight!
I was on that flight!
@Dale Haygarth that sounds terrifying!!
"That's MYYY TOILET."
Sounds like something Mark corrigan would say in the peep show
That's MY bit of lager
@@williamnation-dixon7743 Don't know whether to be very happy for Victoria, or sorry for her. (Who am I kidding? The right answer is obviously to be jealous of them both.)
'you can't use that toilet. that's *my* toilet..'
for some reason, david mitchell looks exactly like someone who would say that..
The line reminds me of mark from the peep show
Love Frankie's ability to deliver quick witted jokes on the spot that is hard to match and makes everyone else burst into laughter
Problem is, This show is rehearsed and not on the spot lol
Frankie's "don't make me choose between you and the wolf" had me in hysterics.
*_"Punch it, Chewie!"_*
ShiitakeWarrior if iam ever going to fly i want to hear the pilot say this bevore the start
Punch! That! Shit!
Honestly if the pilot of my flight said that before takeoff it would make my day
*_OOAAAAAAUUUGHHHH_*
They told me they fixed it! It's not my fault!
"Hold on, I've just entered us in the red bull challenge" LOL, Andy Parsons always dishes out top comedy
"He sleeps in the bed with us ok.Dont make me choose between you and and the wolf"
LMFAO!!
So was Russell Howard! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I'm now very tempted to become a commercial pilot just to quote Star Wars before takeoff.
have you become a commercial pilot yet?
@@maka6134 I don't think they have.
@@lunarixis9957 His phone is on airplane mode, he can't respond.
I know this is old and a joke but you can't cause there's something called 'sterile cockpit' where you can't make any comment related to something other than the initial climb to 10000ft
@@finh8895 oh yeah I forgot Barry you joined my earth welcome to the one and only earth prime.
"HOLD ON, I'VE JUST ENTERED US IN THE RED BULL CHALLENGE" 😂💀
Frankie literally makes me laugh out loud with every one of his jokes, must go and see him live methinks. Dara is a legend too. :D
i love how when russel howard gets the giggles or something at 1 of the jokes he just wonders around the platform bit lol love mock the week! x
'You want me to put my dingaling into your fairycave...
ARE YOU MAD WOMAN!!"
hahahaha brilliant :D
_og comment_
@@prodbykaji REAL OG
O shit my guy
In the event of a crash, sacrifice the nearest child and hope for the best.
"You want me to put my ding-a-ling into your fairycave, ARE YOU MAD WOMAN!!!!!" Priceless, Frankie Boyle rocks!!!! ^^
Bad things to hear on an aeroplane:
“This is your captain speaking. For passengers wishing to use the forward starboard toilet… I’d give it about 20 minutes.”
Ha ha ha
“Hello this is your pilot speaking we hope you enjoy your 24 hours flight to Australia, you’re Cabin crew member Frankie Boyle will be looking after you on this flight”
"-Thank you, and have a nice flight. Oi, Jeff! Do you happen to know how to fly this thing?"
Andy Parsons is a legend he had me lmao'ing at the Red Bull challenge bit xD
"Chapter One: Aerodynamics for Dummies.
Oh shit, is this thing on?"
"Due to unforeseen complications in the space time continuum, this plane has been diverted to the Twilight Zone."
he man have you changed much in these last 5 years?
"And if you look to your left, you should be able to see the gremlin tearing up the wing's wiring."
They had an episode where the planes went back in time
Pedrosaurus Mex The Odyssey of Flight 33
"I can't believe they're letting me fly this thing after one day on a simulator. EasyJet? I hope so."
12 years later, the Chewy impression and Mr. Tiddles still made me laugh ridiculously
"ok whoever left the floater in the toilet please go back and flush it"
"Unfortunately the only show we have available to watch on board today is Mock The Week"
Nobody:
Absolutely Nobody:
RUclips: Let's recommend this 11 year old video
Ok well in my case I just watched 20 of these videos, so I might be a bit predictable right now..
No one asked you to repost this old dead meme either.
FINIKY it wasn’t old when they posted it, and it isn’t dead now
Be worse if they recommended it to an 11 year old
@@Caraxian
It isn't old or dead, but by god is it shitty crutch for people who can't be funny on their own.
2:14 straight up lifted from Mrs Doubtfire
"I've never dropped this much acid in my life."
"We are the Borg. Life as you know it is over..."
"Whinney..."
"In the event of an emergency... I'm alright, I've got a parachute. Don't fancy your chances."
I find it great that Frankie is joking about dangers of flying and flying is his biggest fear.
2:32 Russell's laugh in the background shot me into a fit of giggles xD
1:54 when Russel went up 😂😂
Bad things to hear on an Aircraft- “Hello this is your pilot speaking we hope you enjoy your 24 hours flight to Australia, you’re Cabin crew member Frankie Boyle will be looking after you on this flight”
''we welcome you first timers on a plane welcome to virgin airways''
Who said that 😂😂😂
I love the way Russel Keels over with laughter from Frankies jokes!
Mock the Week is brilliant, love this one, brilliant line up, 4 regulars rule and David Mitchell is brilliant at stand up. shame Dara doesn't join in this round.
At 2:35 it makes me wonder how rare it is to celebrate an awesome punchline like a soccer goal. You don't see that very often.
"This is your captain speaking and I have no fucking idea how to work a plane."
Many years ago, the cabin crew on Virgin Airlines (Australia) used to say all kinds of amusing things in the pre-flight safety demonstration - I remember them saying "your lifejacket is fitted with a whistle - to scare away the sharks". (True story).
Dang, I nearly died at "My toilet!"
*rolls around in fit of laughter*
Before we start flying I'd like to say a few words:
The food is inedible.
The engine is faulty.
And the doors have trouble opening.
Have a nice flight!
Beamkatana Blazerose Was that supposed to be a joke?
Yep
That was shite
@@solodemon9983 So, Ryan Air?
"the worst person to be married to".....
Hugh: "Baaa!!"
roflmao!!!
his face, and the vein that sticks out of russell's arm at 2:07. god, you have to love him.
Adolf's birthday is actually on 4/20 so I think he's onto something
slaven jevtić imagine if it was 9/11
American dates innit
@@harrytarrant8449 No. He was born on 20th month of a year
slaven jevtić yes
American skinhead skatepunks in California used to celebrate 4/20 with a party. The other skatepunks didn't care it was for Hitler's birthday because they'd get free beer out of it. Then it became an American tradition in the 1990s to smoke weed on that day and then Europe copied them. Like when all the people who hate Irish people and Catholics get wasted on St. Patrick's Day or college students shag outside on May Day. People just need an excuse to do something.
*video 12 years ago*
RUclips 2020: TIME FOR RECOMMENDED
Bad things to hear on an aeroplane, 2020: "Cough..."
Russel Howard is hilarious!!!
Hugh and Frankie are also awesome!
Can anyone here play Microsoft flight simulator?
“Alright, so, have any of you seen that film from the 80s, Airplane? Well, long story short, are any of you by chance an ex-fighter pilot? No? Oh, just checking. Nothing to worry about.”
On a similar note I just wanted to say good luck. We're all counting on you.
It's so great that we're living together. But don't go in the basement, I have David Tennant tied up and screaming for me to let him out.
Beamkatana Blazerose, my mum also has Aidan turner and Chris hems worth down there.
Beamkatana Blazerose You could say he overstayed his Tenancy.
Conway79 WAYYYY
I laughed so much at David's "You can't use THAT toilet, that's MY toilet" 3:20
“Louisa and her in flight team will be looking after you today, and your hijacker’s name is Ibrahim.”
💀💀💀💀💀💀
'brace yourself agnes, it's that time of year again' LOL Frankie Boyle is a legend
"I've brought all me video to turn us on, it's Fred Dibner's age of steam" Hugh Dennis is a FUCKING LEGEND!!
THUMBS UP!
Russell laughing to Frankie's jokes is one of the best things about this show.
Ah on my recommendations 12 years late.
@chrisgonatakethepiss I guess I just really love how happy he is. Even when he is making fun of someone, he isnt really laughing at them, but instead is pointing out something they probably never though about themselves. But, to each his own.
"Welcome to Ryanair flight London to Moscow, or, in practical terms, Edinburgh to St. Petersbug."
"You want me to put my dingaling into your fairy cave? Are you mad woman!" LMAO
"you can't use that toilet, thats MY toilet!"
thanks for repeating what they just said in the video!
its very useful for those who are deaf!
"This is your captain speaking. Turns out that WASN'T a runway after all!"
This is my favourite scenes we'd love to see round every joke is classic, every single one. I can't even single 1 out.
It needs to be said that comedians have carried me through the "trump error." I love American comics too such as Stephen Colbert, but eight of the ten funny humans on my list are from the UK.
So as both my jaw and butt unclench for the first time in five years, I just want each of you to know what an important role you have played in keeping me sane.
Thanks from Seattle
"Brace yourself Agnus, its that time of year again!" I'm literally crying from laughter XD
"The seatbelt light has turned on as we are about to transform into a giant robot."
Ive been watching these excerpts all day, and I ended up at these older ones and I'm just happy to see Rus here too
Bad Things to Hear on an Aeroplane:
I really hope that guy in the turban just said Allan's Snackbar
i know you wrote this a while ago but im dead
Eduardo Cortazar wrong religion m8
Lots of religions wear turbans.
HAHAHA
but muslims don't, unfunny, islamaphobic and racist joke
"You want me to put my dingaling in your fairycave, ARE YOU MAD, WOMAN?!"
LOL! Brilliant
'Anyone know how to fly a plane?!?!'
buddy holly's last words
'brace yourself agnes, its that time of year again!'
hahaha frankie cracks me up :D
i think we all want to hear the pilot say punch it chewie
Ladies and Gentlemen I’m Launchpad McQuack and I’ll be your pilot today.
Ladies and Gentlemen I’m Richard Hammond and I’ll be your pilot today.
I would have said "Todays in-flight movie will be Castaway"
1:13 That one had me on the floor 😂🤣
They wouldn’t dare tell these jokes in 2019!
Sad but true
Shut uo with that bollox, people have always got offended at shit, nothings changed and no one would stop them doing it again
Yes. The 2000s was definitely the less sensitive time to make jokes about plane hijacking
In the 1950s it was too offensive to say the word pregnant or have couples to be in the same bed next to each other on TV
Jay Williams tf ?
You haven't lived until you've boarded a plane, strapped yourself in, and then realised that members of the ground crew are strapping bits of the interior together with zip-ties. It makes you check to make sure that your lifejacket is under your seat, and that your will is up to date.
"When I said I was a positive person, I meant HIV" XD
2021 BRING HIM BACK.
BRING BACK BOYLE!
1:22 “Will the fat people please move to the back of the plane!!”
That quote is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard!!
Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russel Howard and David Mitchell. Now that was a panel!
Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, please don't mind the bleeding man being escorted by our friendly security staff.
"thats the first cloud i've seen with a ski lift on it!"
LMAO
This is your pilot speaking, for the next eight hours we will be playing Justin Beiber's greatest hits.
I didn't know he had enough hits for 8 hours worth
+Jacob Francis
It doesn't really matter. You'd be dead by 5 minutes.
LOL
'You can't use that toilet... that's MYYYY toilet!'
1 - "Lightspeed to Endor!!"
2 - "Now whatever you do, don't scream"
"oh you cant use THAT toilet...thats MY toilet" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
pmsl
"I can press the button! I can press the button!"
'well err if you take a look at the portside window in bout a min youll see me, bye!'
lol!
1:46 How is that a bad thing?
"Scuse me, it's getting a little hot, do you mind if I shoot that window open"
Oh my goodness they all look soooooooooo young! It's December 2019!
You can't use /that/ toilet. That's MY toilet.
Brilliant xD
if a pilot has been locked out of the cockpit its pretty much game over for all of you''
lol if u look out side the window in about a min ... you'll see me bye lol classic