THE BEST PERSONAL STATEMENT I'VE EVER READ (Cambridge University Example)
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- Опубликовано: 13 июн 2024
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This is the BEST personal statement I’ve analysed so far as part of the Personal Statement Masterclass I’m developing over at Skillshare. One course will be a Medicine Masterclass and the other an Oxbridge Masterclass covering a broad range of subjects from law and psychology to maths and engineering. #example #personalstatement #medicine
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🎓Skillshare Personal Statement Masterclass
What's different about this course?
I'm not going to tell you what I think is going to work. I'm going to show you what does work.
What to expect?
For a lot of us, the personal statement is often the most important thing that we'll ever write. It's the thing that'll determine the next 4-6 years of our lives. So it's easy to see the importance of making sure it's the best it can be. And that's exactly what I'm going to be helping you with.
In the first few lessons, we're first going to be looking at the expertly designed 8 pillar framework based on personal statements of students who were accepted into Oxbridge and other top ranking universities. These 8 pillars will form the basis of you thought process and help you decide what to include in the personal statement.
We're going to spend some time learning how best to reflect on experiences in ways that show the reader that you are someone who is capable of extracting lessons and developing for the better as a result of it.
We're going to learn about strategies like the personality pillar and writing style to help your personal statement stand out and shine.
Importantly, we're going to be linking all this theory to carefully analysed real life examples from past successful personal statements.
Then once we've decided what to include, we're going to go through the structure.
We're going to be providing you with proven syntax and paragraph formulas that will ensure that every sentence you write has a purpose.
We'll also be learning how we structure the overall personal statement so that it flows beautifully and tells a story.
We'll also learn new strategies for cutting down your personal statement to fit the character count and how you can maximise what you say in the fewest words possible.
One of the biggest strengths of this video course, is that we provide 5 example personal statements each carefully broken down and analysed. And as each has come from students, now doctors, who have been accepted into Oxbridge and other top ranking unis, you can be confident that everything you learn has been tried, tested and shown to work every time.
If you have any questions, drop me a 📫 message on 📸 Instagram (@doctorshaene) or comment below. And, if you’d like to read the ✒️written blog post on this, please visit 📌www.doctorshaene.com.
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My name’s Shaene and I’m a 🏥Doctor in Oxford, 🏛a Cambridge Uni grad and 🧠neuroscience supervisor. I produce content about writing✍🏽, study tips📚, productivity⏰, science🔬 and life🏃♂️.
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And what do you write if you're not the perfect human being.
😂😂😂😂
That's the most valid question anyone can ever ask.
but at last we r human being and machine of cooking up stories. So do that lie lie and just lie.
@@meera8577most of them obviously do
Honestly 😂😂😂😂😂
It’s not about how much work experience you do, it’s about how you demonstrate the skills and insight gained from the work experience that you did do. From a final year medic who got in with basically no hospital work experience.
Thank you for this! Due to rona there’s no way I’m getting hospital work experience
Hey, if you don’t mind could I read your ps. I’m in year 12 and in dire need of some inspiration. Thanks :)
Hey, I'm glad it worked out for you.
I completely understand the position you were in because I'm in that position right now. I realized I wanted to do nursing late so I didn't have years of preparation or experience.
& I only have a few months to apply. (I'm in the UK so you don't do Geneds but usually, people take a year of nursing-related subjects before going to uni.)
I was wondering what you expanded on in your essay?
Thanks,
Best.
Absolutely, even compared to when this personal statement with written, Cambridge has decreased the importance of work experience. It's generally still necessary to demonstrate some caring experience, but they are trying to decrease the value of "I shadowed a surgeon for two weeks (because Daddy is a doctor and arranged it for me)". Despite this, they still seem to demonstrate some cluelessness, my daughter has been told the best way to practice for interview is to practice talking to someone working in the field and she's quite disappointed I don't know anyone working in linguistics!
The personal statement was effective because it showcased the best aspects of this individual, using a fact based method. This also avoids any aspect of appearing arrogant as it is the facts that show the passion of the individual backed up with the active steps they have taken to learn about the subject. This format also works for personal statements for job applications.
facts
I love your vocabulary skills.
Ophélie Baudelaire Thank you, that’s very kind of you!
Honestly good luck to any of you guys applying this year. I remember doing my personal statement last year and you can't imagine how happy I am to have this part of my life behind me hahah
How did it go?
@@joan5734 It went pretty well I got accepted to my favourite uni (Edinburgh) so couldn't be happier :) How is it going for you?
You’ll have to write one when you get a job 😂
@@SelfImprovement1111 no you dont lol
@@guccitae8416 well certain jobs do.
although this video really clearly explained a structure and why this guys statement was good, its really of no help to most of us. that's a hell of a lot of experience that most of us dont have and cant even think of a suitable option to replace. most of us have retail or fast food jobs. It would be really helpful if you made a video helping those of us who arent already at a massive advantage with excellent grades and work experience, we are the ones that really need help. No offence, i really appreciate the effort and clarity of the video, just i checked out almost instantly because right away i knew you werent talking to people like me and you cant help me with this, that guy was always going to get into uni, the statement was bonus for him. There's a lot of us out there hoping our statement banks our place.
is it worth me making a skillshare account or will the template be much like this video and only really help those who are already stand out?
Aye, I agree a lot with you on this. @Doctor Shaene , I hope you're able to us too!
Replace work experience with life experience that’s one thing I plan to do 😄
no matter what type of work experience and things outside of school you've done, always find a way to link them back to the course by highlighting the skills you've gained or developed (be it teamwork, problem-solving, etc.) and show what you've learned from those experiences
Yes, right. I dont even have that good level of English and my ps now looks like a story for kids🤦♂️
they specifically said this is a Cambridge University example, so I don't see why it is surprising that the applicant has lots of experience and perfect grades. Maybe you should search for personal statement examples that are more suited to what you want to achieve?
Looks like he was preparing all his life for this personal statement moment. Shined.
😆
I’m not gonna lie when I heard his intro I drooled a little. Whenever I see really good writing it makes me so happy and inspired! Thank you!
Me 26 years old graduates uni 5 years ago watching a video on how to write a personal statement
loool
Dude I'm exactly the same as you, glad I'm not the only one 😭
Having an amazing array of experiences is a big part of what makes this personal statement so good
With all do respect this is far from the best personal statement, and honestly, in rare cases, most personal statements are adequate enough, and only get labeled as outstanding when the person using them succeeds enough to become relevant for people to analyze it wishing to replicate the same success.
So well edited, simple and easy to understand. You earned a new subscriber !
Awesome, thank you!
I wish people would just read start to finish and dissect it after. It’s important to hear how it flows.
This is by far the best PS analysis I saw on RUclips. Thx a lotttt
I have to write a sop within 48 hours and here i was looking for it on RUclips.
The details are immaculate.
I CAN NOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR YOUR OPSONIZING WAY TO COLLECT THE INCREDIBLE IDEAS MEDICAL STUDENTS
I’ve been watching videos RE personal statements for a couple of days now. I’m at the beginning of this one and it’s already clearly the best.
i really enjoy the break-downs you provide, but it would be nice to hear a full read-through right at the end to understand the natural flow of the statements
Whoa ur friend is a full package, but honestly he is such a great example cuz we have to learn from the best. Thanks.
Thank you so much! This totally helped me write my personal statement for a scholarship application.
I hope the other tutorial videos are like this. SO well made. Thanks Dr
You are the best I see on RUclips so far.. Thank you..
it just inspired me and motivated me to write mine after getting confused between the personal statement and statement of purpose, I think everything is clear now, thank you
can you explain a bit about the differences pls I'm still so lost😢
You are doing great job man! Thanks a lot!
This was very insightful. I was wondering if you would recommend mentioning a levels in the personal statement alongside the other points for economics
This was great!! thank you very much for this. I will be looking into your guide
Greatly helpful! Keep up the good work📈
Thank you so much, I love you, you are the reason I'll write a good personal statement!
Grateful that I found this. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Glad it was helpful!
Amazing video! I even took notes and I am not thinking about writing a personal statement any time soon. Amazing advice
Glad it was helpful!
★★★I used this website topedgewriters.com to help me write my application letter and they did a good job. I only sent them a draft and they wrote a professional letter for me.I recommend that you guys should check them out.★★★
I wouldn't say this personal statement is "the best I've ever read" or even all that great. There's no specificity in the examples, they're rehashing their CV talking about a lot of different things superficially, there is no real theme interconnecting the examples. Obviously, they've done a lot of impressive stuff... maybe UK Personal Statements are different, but it's better to focus on a few things and talk more deeply about their meaning to you.
I agree with you point on having no theme. However, I suppose through the numerous experiences he went out of his way for, he does show a genuine passion and understanding for Medicine.
UK personal statements are very different from other places in the world especially the us, however, I don’t think that is the best I’ve seen too
How is this personal statement different from a statement of purpose?
Bright Igwe it is used deliberately for applying universities, UK universities have student fixated on a specific course (like a major) from the start so you would need to specify what made you interested in it, life goals and more of american essays are deemed rather a bad approach to UK Personal Statements
It's quite a bit different from Essays or personal statements elsewhere in the world. It's a lot less deep and a lot more explanatory especially with regards to one's passion or experience in the field for which they're applying.
I think the most important thing here is doing lots of relevant work experience and volunteering!
Great video! It has been quite helpful. Thanks a lot.
A great video, empathically done.
Your friend is a star, caring, empathic and eloquent.
👍😊💜✌️
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I just found out about your channel from tiktok and your videos are so helpful and informative! Thank you :)
Yessss 🙌 Glad it’s useful!
wait i just finished my ps for PA school and the idea in the introduction here is also what mine was about.
i feel good right now
Thank you, that's a good example.
I recommend this video to all who do not know where to start with their personal statement. Take the idea of the structure of the essay and make it your own. Goodluck to app students and God bless
My congratulations. Thank you for the statement
So helpful!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Thanks a bunch!
Glad it was helpful!
I love your channel, some of your advice really helped
Awesome, thank you!
Thank you for the information.
This is awesome! Thanks! :)
Wow ok making feel bad about the rubbish I just wrote
Relatableeee
X2!!! :S
Can you talk more about the structure for the personal statement that doesn't have a work experience also how to include extracurriculars.
Without work experience, applying for a competitive course like medicine especially at Oxbridge, you barely stand a chance
such good video, thank you very much
This is excellent !
Thanks a million!!
thanks for the very informative video
Pleasure! Glad it was useful! 🙌
Love the video and great new about the masterclass you are doing on Skillshare any idea of when it will be available. All the best :)
The planned release date is tomorrow 🙌 Thanks so much!
Doctor Shaene amazing thank you 😊
★★★I used this website topedgewriters.com to help me write my application letter and they did a good job. I only sent them a draft and they wrote a professional letter for me.I recommend that you guys should check them out.★★★
Wow! What a useful video! Thank you (:
feels good to see the name of my university right in the beginning of the statement ^_^ nice video with informative content.
Imagine, You are applying for scholarship program and instantly you just scroll and start watching out video of how to write a great Personal Statement while author make you understand by giving a example of your own university Dow University--- wuh proud :)
Excellent video !!
The essay was inspiring, and your analysis is quite helpful.
I am in the process of developing my personal statement and getting thought-blocks in the way until I found your channel.
Thanks a lot for your clear and strategic guidance.
“You cannot be protected from the things that frighten you and hurt you, but if you identify with part of your being that is responsible for transformation, then you are always equal or more than equal of the things that frighten you”
Keep you head up 💜
fantastic quote
AMAZING ONE!
Hi, love your video! What editing software do you use?
Thank you very much
Hey, when writing a personal statement for physician associate do I also use the key term “medicine”
As I’m not exactly a doctor ??
yeahh i'd say medicine is an apt key word - it's not specific just to doctors but all healthcare team members no?
Thanks for the video, super helpful! My personal statement is supposed to be only 300 words max. Do you have any tips? I find it quite hard to fit all I want to say into such few words.
The first paragraph appears as what other sources describe as "flowery language", there are so many conflictions as this is a subjectively judged document, I'm still confused as to what is wanted and how I may be judged..
This video was really helpful ! Thank you so much :)
Glad it was useful! 🙌
★★★I used this website topedgewriters.com to help me write my application letter and they did a good job. I only sent them a draft and they wrote a professional letter for me.I recommend that you guys should check them out.★★★
This video helped me to understand what exactly is the personal statement. I also watched other videos there but was not that clear and easy to understand. I followed the steps in this video and my application is approved for LLM program. Thanks a lot ❤
You're very welcome
Bro you have no idea how much this helped. NO WONDER YOU GOT INTO CAMBRIDGE 😭😭. Really want to thank you man. This video has single handedly done soooo much for my ps. THANK YOU BROOO.
@2:46 I'd say 'and although' could be changed to '. Although'
It's a gd PS because of the flow and structure. Id recommend students to really pay attention to the way he compound's point on point without sounding too cliché
By any chance, do you proofread essays too? 🥺
Hello! I want to thank you Shaene for your amazing free personal statement guide. I followed it and made it my own and I am happy to say I got into NEOMA Business School. Thank you so much for contributing in such a significant way to my journey.
Congratulations
Thank you so much for this !! I got accepted into my dream university XD
Can we get a link to this statement you’re referring to? I really need to see the format .
What about if I have good grades but no work experience I’ve seen many video on personal statement and all of them have experience shadowing a doctor or working in a ward . What can I write if I don’t got any of this
I’m writing my personal statement for bachelor degree (undergrad), and I’m mentioning the major that i want, but, is it okay to mention the grad degree major that i want to take after bachelor ?
Thank u so much
Awesome💕
Is this personal statement for undergrad med or post-grad? And what do you suggest the format should be for students applying for 2021 seeing as we can't get work experience?
work experience is still legit in 2021!
1. BSMS Virtual work Experience - Brighton and Sussex medical school has put together an incredible online package giving to an insight into the NHS which walks you through different medical specialities.
2. Observe GP - interactive video platform has been put together by the Royal College of GPs designed to give medical school applicants an insight into General Practice and primary care.
3. The NHS Explained Online Course - a free 8 hour online course by the King’s Fund giving you an insight into the structure of the NHS and challenges of working in the NHS.
1.Re-engage - a charity looking for volunteers to join their call companion service to provide some friendship to lonely and isolated older people
2.Covid-19 Mutual Aid - a service connecting people in the local area to help others who are more vulnerable or self-isolating.
3.The Sliver Line - a confidential helpline that provides advice, friendship and information to older people. They currently have an emergency appeal for volunteers.
4.Age UK - lots of different opportunities to volunteer to become a digital buddy, a campaigner or fundraiser for the Age UK charity.
I don’t have any work experience coz of corona😢
Maya Thethy exactly the same here. sucks real bad :(
Check out BSMS virtual work experience.
1. BSMS Virtual work Experience - Brighton and Sussex medical school has put together an incredible online package giving to an insight into the NHS which walks you through different medical specialities.
2. Observe GP - interactive video platform has been put together by the Royal College of GPs designed to give medical school applicants an insight into General Practice and primary care.
3. The NHS Explained Online Course - a free 8 hour online course by the King’s Fund giving you an insight into the structure of the NHS and challenges of working in the NHS.
1.Re-engage - a charity looking for volunteers to join their call companion service to provide some friendship to lonely and isolated older people
2.Covid-19 Mutual Aid - a service connecting people in the local area to help others who are more vulnerable or self-isolating.
3.The Sliver Line - a confidential helpline that provides advice, friendship and information to older people. They currently have an emergency appeal for volunteers.
4.Age UK - lots of different opportunities to volunteer to become a digital buddy, a campaigner or fundraiser for the Age UK charity.
Guys exploration of medicine isn't just work experience. It's volunteering in the community esp in health and social care environments, speaking with drs and med student s and other health care staff . Reading books on medicine etc.
@@jackstannah4800 Look into being a medical scribe
This is the best personal statement... Can you please make a personal statement video for student who choose dentistry
I wanted to apply to MIT for next autumn and i was so so so hesitant because I just have no confidence in my personal statement writing and my experiences in uni but after watching your video I guess i'm starting to write it up!!! thank you for these tips
Good luck :)
Hi how did it go
@linzczyra how did it go
This is such a great content, but i found some difficulties to keep up with ur speed when u explaining all the materials 😅
0.75 speed 😘
could you please share a link to this statement? I'm not too keen on typing it off the screen
What an impressive candidate profile. I need to organize myself better.
I am writing for counseling education and supervision program, I wonder how I can use your formating, so we can not at all share about our own , values, and related that to our work/research then go with that way? or we have to jump to why applying right away?
thanks it help me a lot
🙏🏽
Nice Vid... Bro I need help with my law personal statement for Cambridge, do you know anyone or can u help??
Thanks! Absolutely - couple of them have been so kind to share their PS! Will be releasing videos on this one very soon!
Doctor Shaene Thanks a lot brother keep up the help👍🏽
What I hate is that I'm being told to avoid flowery language , but all the best statements contain flowery language
I reckon it depends where you're applying. Most unis don't really care about it but some like Oxbridge and London ones that are more traditional and academic might prefer it. It's always good to link your personal statement to the universities you're applying to like traditional/integrated
How do you introduce wider reading in your personal statement?
Talk about what you learnt from it and how this changed your thinking. Also, the way Osaid did was quite nice don’t you think? Where he talks about the emperor of all maladies. Will also be doing more examples and teaching on this in the skillshare class :)
He should have linked the sop to download , That can help us to read and understand
thank you very much. But I have a question what if I do not have any work experience??
Please share how to write a good reflection essay
Good video 🎉❤
Can’t lie this is not the best personal statement I have ever read for medicine ha
I agree. It doesn't really show that the student is curious about medicine.
@@Lauren-7777 To me, it looks more like a statement for a nursing course. And he said he read papers but he did not really show it; he could've written what he likes about these papers to lend some credibility.
It looks more like a list of things the student has done, it has the best ingredients for it but isn’t good itself
This video is very inspiring. I am trying to develop my personal statement for Pharmacy school. Do you have any advice on how to merge desire, work and life experiences, and faith in my personal statement?
I love Pharm PS! You have a great opportunity to blend community minded values with your personal passion and life experiences. Consider thinking about starting with - in story form - an interaction with a patient/ customer If you work at a pharmacy already. what did they need? how did you help them? then par 2 could be your explanation of desire and passion for the field and why...then middle could be a couple other life / work experiences and how they have taught you diff lessons about pharmacy and your pursuit of pharmacy. good luck!
You might want to check this out ruclips.net/video/5ZUgT5cgTg0/видео.html
@@emilycarter8922 thanks! Will do.
So - you're being rushed into intensive care with a life-threatening injury. Which doctor would you choose - the one who has spent their time working at a checkout in Tesco, or the one who has committed every moment to developing their medical knowledge? I know who I'd choose.
When is your skillshare masterclass going to be available for us? :)
Working hard to get it out to everyone next week. Getting through more personal statements to analyse and chucking in new points! Will let everyone know when it’s out via email with some extra goodies! :)
Doctor Shaene oooh okay thank you!
me learning Spanish for 5 years...
5:35 aight, it's my time to shine.
Uhhh give me chills😬😬. Amazing vid btw
Haha thanks! 🙌
Doctor Shaene is he working with you now?
hey great video! Can I have the full personal statement for reference ?
Anyone have a link to a video about personal statements for masters programmes? X
This was really helpful, but I have an issue. During my university years, I was so caught up in getting high grades that I never bothered to engage in extracurricular activities, which, made my life boring. Any suggestions?
start getting involved now! no time like the present
ruclips.net/video/6PRJHBnqwfk/видео.html
You can also join volunteering works outside of your university! Make sure the organizations/ associations are legal first then there you go
You might want to check this out ruclips.net/video/gNBrdE_CR80/видео.html
I didn't do any; I got into Cambridge.
Do you have any personal statements for a degree in psychology? To see the structure of this was very helpful but obviously the content for psychology would be very different.
link me up when you find one :)