I love that Ashley’s like “Mak I’m sending you a book” (cue everyone assuming she’s sending a link to a book for Mak to buy) then she asks for Maks address 🥲 everyone needs a friend like Ashley and Alayna so wholesome 💕
I appreciate you ladies so much! I finally got the strength to tell my husband that I’m a lesbian. We’ve been together for 20 years and 4 years ago I came out as bi. We had an open relationship and i was able to explore my sexuality. But deep down in side in knew what i needed for myself. FORTUNATELY my husband is a very kind loving excepting man that is a very rare needle in a haystack. But I was continuing to worry and put his feelings first instead of taking care of myself. I found myself falling back into a depression and isolating. So we had the conversation with much tears and emotion. He has moved into a spare room and are walking and supporting eachother through this experience, with love honor and grace. I finally feel free for the first time in my life at the OLD AGE ( as Ashley says she is 😂😂😂) of 52. I just want to say your podcast, TikTok’s and individual RUclips channels have helped me become the person that I am today. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I get to take my new hope to be girlfriend soon to Vegas this weekend and get to be 💯GAAAAAYYYYY
Mak saying 'hot teenage brother' in the babyest voice ever is super cute. Love that Alayna is so comfortable saying 'mom' now. Thanks for another great pod and to Mak, opening up and being vunerable too. 💜
I have always felt that Mak's best talent is in a talk show type format. While I enjoy the skit type stuff with Jack, it's more entertaining for me when they just sit and talk. Same with Mattea or whoever else. That might be a path toward content that feels more authentic for her.
Agreed, also Mac is very much so labeled as the "little sis/ boy",that's super protected, I adore her creativity, she's very much fam so slightly reserved,yet when Mac speaks it's very special❤
Mak: You have done SO MUCH for the community, you don't even know! Thirst traps got lost people through the door to the helpful content we're at now. You've graduated onto more serious topics with your audience. Whatever you choose, we're here for you and what you need. Even if it means less media. My favorite quote will always be, "Turn. The world will follow after." Trust your instincts; We'll follow when if/when you're ready. 💞💫
I have a lot of sympathy for content creators like her. They're people, and people's needs and interests change, but the audience comes for a specific thing. It must be scary to let your content change with you and not know if your audience will follow. That's a really difficult position to be in
43:40 Ashley's knowing smirk when Alayna agrees with her is so funny to me for some reason. It's like a mix between "told you so" and "I AM ELDER QUEER, LISTEN TO MY EXPERIENCE". Also, happy half-year anniversary to the podcast!
Lmao I thought the same thing. cause at the beginning Ash said "this might sound counterintuitive" and then when Alayna was like "it's almost counterintuitive but it's true" Ash started smiling lol
Can we take a moment and appreciate how validating a perfectly timed and executed roast can feel? Being so open and vulnerable about a thing that is really eating you up inside, Admitting that there's nothing really wrong, and being met with "That shirt, though..." is just fucking flawless.
Listening from Australia mother of a daughter who came out at 18yrs ❤. Then 6mths later her girlfriend now lives with us & I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love them both ❤. Love listening because your support each other’s mental health ❤ being ND myself it is beautiful to see xx
I am a 25yo female virgin. My friends and I throw the term semi-demisexual around to describe ourselves. I am not asexual but need to have a emotional connection with someone before I feel comfortable enough to want to have sex. I find people attractive, but would not take it further if I don't feel emotionally connected. I don't feel pressure to have sex because I know that when I find the right person I will explore it further. Sex is not a race, and has no time limits.
See I have a thing where I could look at people in a sexual way but when it comes to it I cannot I’m not comfortable giving a person such a big part of me. It’s confusing bc I know I’m not asexual whatsoever but I’ve never felt close enough to a person to want to give them that side of me. I get scared
Definitely no reason to rush, I had my firsts this year being 27, First time giving someone else an orgasm and also being on a receiving end even if it didn't yet turned to O. Take your time ;)
I'm the older lesbian who dated a new lesbian who hasn't had sexual experience. She was 20 and I was 26 when we met. I took things at her pace and didn't push her to do something she wasn't ready for. We've been together for 7 years and are now married.
to the girl who is worried about not finding someone she can trust to have sex with. learn to trust yourself and it will naturally lead you to people you can also trust. learn to be vulnerable with people unrelated to sex. and when people are kind and considerate of you when sex isn’t on the table then they are usually people who you can have a trusting and vulnerable sexual relationship with. try not to put so much pressure on yourself about the right person or the right time. you’re the right person. and the right time is whenever it happens. just be present, open, and most importantly listen to yourself when something feels right or wrong and the rest will fall into place.
I was a V until 26 and thought the same way. It's still hard as a 31 yo woman who still doesn't participate in full seg until I'm committed. You will find people. The hardest part is not listening to the peer pressure to be something you're not. There is nothing wrong with going slow.
Queer Christian here, writing in to acknowledge the hurt Christianity has caused. The church has absolutely traumatized the queer community, and that is NOT okay. You are loved, and valued and your experiences are valid ❤. I will say, I am still learning to extend this to myself. It is lonely, and it hurts to not be in a safe place to come out. I too have been hurt by the church. By friends and family of the church. My self acceptance is a work in progress, and it helps getting to join you for dinner every week, and finding my own 'chosen family'.
29:37 Ashley's nonchalant "You can fuck off," had me cackling away hahahaha and Mak's face 46:01 after Ashley saying they're gonna go get her chicken nuggets lmaoo. "What do you want?" - "I want to leave church." 😂😂☠☠☠☠
As a 24yo lesbian who hasn't been intimate with anybody yet, this episode really helped me feel more comfortable with it. I've often worried if who i'm with next is going to judge me or not understand why I haven't been intimate yet, and it's caused me a lot of anxiety about getting into a new relationship. Thank you for answering this question!
I TOTALLY feel this!! I'm 22yo and am terrified that they would judge but I've come to realize (huge thanks to this podcast too!!) that it's TOTALLY MORE THAN OKAY to not have been intimate yet!! someone who judges u for it or makes u feel less because of it is not someone worth your time or energy
The creativity block and work conversation is so real and relatable. It's helpful to hear people I see as "doing it" or "successful" talking about the same fears.
Mak, if you were to recreate entire rom com movies (but gay) i would watch every single second of it. Nothing would make me happier than finally seeing queer rom coms
No one is entitled to your personal life regardless of how much of your life you put out there. Having a following doesn’t mean you belong to that following. Do the things that make you happy and excited and the people who want to watch you be the best you will continue to watch because it’s you they love. You have things to say that people want to listen to and can relate to. I love this podcast so much.
The whole episode I was thinking how good you all are in bringing some comedy in (Ash is still the Czar of Comedy) while talking about serious stuff. The balance is always great, and that's also my way to cope with stuff in life, so it's really vibing with me. So, Alayna, when you said "we're so serious today", you were not, you all were as hilarious as always! I did laugh at those Ash's jokes when Alayna and Mak didn't 😂 Also Mak, your feelings are truly valid and you really need to do what you want to do, because as I commented on your video with Jake, you are outstanding as a filmmaker, also considering that you alone are doing all the work behind the scenes. Your storytelling is quirky, flowy, accurate, fun, relatable and your ideas sound like really good material that I'm sure you'll be able to make the best of it. Love you, guys. My Wednesdays truly start with a great kick thanks to you ❤
My wife is almost 12 years older than me. We met when I was early 20's & she was early 30's. I'm now almost 42 & she just turned 53. It's the best relationship I have ever been in & better than I ever could have hoped for. Yes, I do think there can be too much of an age gap, and when you're younger it feels like a bigger gap (esp if one isn't an adult....). But just putting an age range on an acceptable "gap" doesn't always work. We've been together for 7 years now, almost 5 years married, and I'm still wildly in love. Sometimes you fall for someone you wouldn't expect & age doesn't always matter all *that* much. ❤
This is so the story of me and my partner. They chased me down and it was my first queer relationship. I had just embraced that I was queer. They told me they were bisexual and I responded, "Who doesn't identify as queer these days?" Which queued to them I was too. I am ten years older and we met as coworkers (both working different places now). We thought it was a hooking up thing for me to grow into my queerness and then it turned to love.
Ashley, if you reconsider sharing the title & author of the book you sent Mak, that would be rad, because I feel like it might be really helpful for me to read (very much on struggle-street over here). I don't think people would shit on it. And if they do, who cares. I've heard people shit on my favourite book, and I don't care, as it's still special to me and always will be. It might be really helpful for others too.
Mak!! For your first idea I feel like it would be so cool to add in your viewers by allowing people to submit their own stories to be transformed into shorts! You are amazing and I’m so excited to see you grow into your art.
Ok Mak lit up when she was talking about her dream projects and that’s a major indication it’s worth the effort🥰, and I was heartbroken when no one got the Say Anything reference 🙃
I'm super late to this but the idea of coming out stories is so good for the community. I found a podcast (in french) with about 8 coming out stories, I loved it, as a baby gay it was awesome to see some diversity and some older queer talking about their life.
This episode: -got me searching for an exact same shirt Ashley is wearing (it’s awesome and also I’m 18) -made me want to hug Mak at tell her she is capable of everything and everything is going to be ok -justified my relationship with a girl 7 years older (not that it needed justification but it’s nice to know there are people with similar experience)
Suggestion: Find someone older for experience! I may have stepped over the line of some folk's age-gap comfort but i met a woman 13 years older than me who was willing to welcome/guide a young lesbian into a new world. nearly 14 years later and she's my wife. She'll tell you i bamboozled her but truth-be-told we worked so well together as our personalities are just that opposite - oh and COMMUNICATION is key....not just being comfortable with new adventures but in general life and companionship.
I love having this podcast family. ❤❤❤ It's beautiful to see your vulnerable sides. We all struggle, and it's comforting to hear about others working through it.
Hey Mak! I just want to say that you have really truly great ideas. You don’t have to keep doing the same thing you have been doing to be successful. Your audience will grow and mature with you. As a queer person myself who grew up loving rom-coms, it would be so healing for my little gay heart to see some gay rom-com stuff. It would be so good to see some lighthearted queer stories with happy endings for once. Sending virtual hugs! Good luck!
"Or just fully let them inhabit the space while you're working. Cause as you're working they'll start to disappear." THIS. This is so true. As a theater actress and directress and writer, I have been through the paralyzing fear that I would never be good enough for my actresses to trust me and for anything good enough to come out, and mostly that I would never manage to do the paperwork necessary to get money or even just a place to rehearse at and a place and date to finally play. But once you're fully in the creating process, the rest becomes so much easier
I think Mac is talking about decision paralysis. It happens to me a lot as a symptom of adhd. It can make me question it all if something seems a little difficult and then the insecurity of not being able grows. I guess all I can say you can do in that situation is just give yourself the space and time to feel however you feel and when you are ready get back to it. Don’t keep going through motions that are growing that feeling. I feel like you’ll feel better when you become your own best friend a little more in that way by holding space to feel however you feel without the space for shame or guilt. You’re all beautiful. I love you! Thanks for this podcast!
I was in the caller’s position 15 years ago. Sex was just a really big deal for me. Getting naked and letting somebody touch my body was a big deal to me. I needed my first few partners to just be *patient* with me. Some people felt really rejected that I didn’t want to pounce them right away. Thankfully, I found somebody who understood, and let me build up my comfort slowly. Sex is supposed to feel good. You deserve to do it in a way that feels good.
True dinner table vibes is being able to talk about anything. Work/ business and definitely venting is on the table. I'm an older RUclips consumer. I was around for the shipping wars between RUclipsrs, and I was there for my gen learning we're not owed every part of a creator. The masses are a scary beast, but they can learn, usually slowly but faster online than in person. You can let your audience know that you need to collect yourself and keep it to yourself. Some will not accept at first, but more will and stay and celebrate what you create.
Mak, the anxiety of failure is paralyzing, but the most exciting things happen for us when we push past that intense fear. I'm an anxiety ridden person so I try to set up one goal every year that pushes me past what I'm comfortable in. Mine have been physical things because working out helps with all my anxiety but you can choose a small (or big) career goal. I always tell myself that I can do one thing. I can accomplish one goal. The world won't end if I do one new thing.
I think Mak was really onto something with the aspect of not being comfortable giving and not receiving, at first. Maybe the person could start by giving, and then maybe a conversation about the possibility of receiving to build trust.
47:03 - I absolutely agree about how important this is for people to recognize. Your religion is valid, but my religious trauma is equally as valid. We shouldn't be required to keep quiet about our negative experiences to spare the feelings of those who were lucky enough to come out the other end in one piece.
I would love every single one of Mak's film ideas. Honestly, you three give so much of yourselves to your listeners already. When Alayna announced she got into her super duper prestigious degree programme I cried happy tears, like a proud friend. And Ashley, I've had her special in my calender for weeks and will be staying up late to watch it from the UK. And Mak, you are such a skilled creative, if you choose to move away from the content you currently make to pursue what truly speaks to you, we will always support you! We just want you all to be happy :)
Is it bad that I stay awake till 1am in Canada just so I can watch Chosen Family Pod because I work at 7am and don’t have time before work 😬😅 gotta do what you gotta do for the gays 😉😏
I relate to the burnout conversation… the best thing that helped me after few months of depression and burnout was to be in nature for a week with some friends and new people and just completely go away from the routine life… it’s so good for depression to be in the nature… just retreat every few months… Also the ideas about the video series of coming out stories and queering the rom-com scenes are beautiful ideas…
listen. my great uncle came out in his like, 50s, probably in his 60s now. he was married for ages and had 3 kids. his ex-wife didn't come out, but she DID move in w her ~lifelong friend~. y'know. and my great uncle? he dates young twinks. like late 20s, probably 30s. not long relationships. he also is just friends with some of them--genuine friendships. he also has and is making more queer friends his age, as well. and it's like. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT! he's just a really great, kind, understanding guy--who hasn't really been on the queer scene for his entire life! so it's this wonderful exchange of life experience and perspectives. these younger gay guys have more experience in the queer community and can be a guide for him that way--and likewise, my great uncle has so much general life experience and knowledge that he can share with them, particularly about our history. though he wasn't out at the time, he WAS *there* for it. and legitimately, i think it's healthy and normal for queer people to occasionally seek out older members of the community--for any kind of relationship. friendships, partnerships, hook up situations, committed relationships, etc. like age differences, in my opinion, only verge on gross when the young person is *really* young and the situation is such that it's exploitative. but i just think--like ashley says--ESPECIALLY for queer people, we *need* that mentorship. we need that support and knowledge and guidance. it's GOOD for us. bc straight and cis people--they can just get that from anyone and anywhere at any time, basically (caveat for nuance, if you're cis het & didn't receive guidance, this isn't about you, it's abt a general trend). but we have to seek it out, bc our community is so split up and difficult to find. so of course it makes sense to me. there are a million reasons why young queer people seek out older queer people and vice versa. and they're all perfectly fine reasons. and i really like that advice, that finding someone older might take the pressure off and help you feel better abt being new to the experience. everyone's new and inexperienced at everything at one point in their lives. and i also wanna say that i appreciate how sincerely and kindly y'all are handling that question--bc i relate a lot to that question asker, and in many places w many ppl, that sort of questions or concern gets treated kind of cruelly or condescendingly. but y'all's answers and thoughts for this person are actually kind and encouraging. so thank you for that!
There's this weird idea that famous people/people with a platform can't ever say anything negative about how that feels but it makes complete sense! I would hate to have my whole life online (not saying it's bad to do it, just that would be so draining for me, to have all these opinions about your life thrown at you all the time. It's not a way we've evolved to exist so I imagine it would be very hard to live with). Also it's very weird to me when we follow someone because we like hearing about their life/experiences but then when they share their experience of not enjoying having a platform, we turn around and tell them to not share that with us, lol
Sometimes you just gotta take the risk and try something new. The hardest things in life have the greatest returns. The more you do something the more you learn, the more connections you'll make a great impact
Wednesday is the highlight of my week because of this pod ♥️ I love that y’all are honest, real, get deep and emotional, and are hilarious as fuck. It’s the perfect mix of everything. And since I’m in the Deep South, y’all are my gay family.
I’m gonna start notes with all the listeners do you cares from now on : •yes we(me and I assume others) do kinda care I love the way y’all communicate about more then just the podcast. And I think it’s cool info 🧐😎.
Yes! It also helps understand how things work in this market, so we can truly connect with you when you're talking about things that are stressing you, how you perceive things and the feelings you get. Because overall, they are truly relatable facts and emotions that can be applied to other (working/studying) circumstances. Also, talking about how you wish your life to be more private can help can repress those awful people who are always opinionated, no matter what you're saying, to comment improperly. The truth about those people, they are listening, but they're unable to take anything in as a matter of fact just because it doesn't resonate with them and their experience.
This is so cheesy but editing for someone like you guys is my dream!! Yes! Yes! We love to hear that talk 😅 I’m so interested in the process as a newly graduated art student
I found it so funny that Alayna followed up Ashley’s “youngest she can be with” number with asking if they should bring up 9/11, because my personal rule is that if you weren’t alive during 9/11, you’re too young for me 😳😂
@@J17891 that would make you, what, 22? I’m 27 so that’s not bad. I chose 9/11 mostly because it’s funny but also more than 5 years younger feels icky for me so it works out (this is for hookups not full relationships)
I can totally relate to Mak. A pivot in your career is so scary and full of so much doubt. Your brain does everything it can to stop you. Ashley’s advice really resonated with me!
Mak's experience resonates with me and is common among creatives in many fields. I've had that exact feeling when I was younger, probably around her age. (I'm in my 30s now.) It took me a long time to learn how to ask for help. It's definitely overwhelming to tackle a bigger project, especially because they can require expertise that aren't our own or because they take a long time and we run out of steam. I used to work on something vigorously before hitting a wall, setting it aside and retreating to my comfort zone. For me it was about building habits that help me create after the initial excitement of inspiration faded; learning to ask for help when it came to elements I couldn't do myself; and finding things that motivated me like sharing parts that excited me with friends and loved ones and their enthusiasm would motivate me to continue. I hope Mak figures out what works her and I'm glad she's got supportive friends. Also, I wonder if the book is Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Marie Rilke.
I really appreciate that you guys chose this comment. I am 22 and in the same position but go between labels on the spectrum of ace to bisexual (I feel like I question myself everyday). It’s quite difficult to actually pin whom and if I feel attraction to people, so I don’t try to go out and meet people. I liked the advice, finding someone you can be vulnerable with would feel nice but it’s hard 😅
I'd love to know name of the book that Ashley is talking about. I'm experiencing same problems as a musician right now. Thank you guys for being so authentic - listening to this podcast is soothing and therapeutic for me. Thanks again.
i feel ashley is having a good point there with the queer experience with age gaps in relationships. a lot of queer people have something like a second puperty in their twentys or even later, because of missing out on so many important aspects of it while being in the closet during their teen years. so it makes a lot of sense to me, that it is such a thing to have a relationship with someone older (8-12 years or so ) to have that space, the guidance and safety for that second puperty. not that it´s apsolutly needed, but it is a great thing to have.
This is the 3rd time I've listened to this and I still hear, "GRAMMAR!"
Год назад+2
Mak, you should dedicate full time to your art, if you don't feel good making content for social media, then don't do it, or post whenever you feel like it. You have so much potencial for filmmaking (and your sister!), in the end you're the one that makes that decision, and whatever you choose, you'll do great in it.
My birthday is this friday and this (ALONG WITH ASHLEY'S SPECIAL ON THE 23RD! 2 DAYS AFTER MY BIRTHDAY😍😍😍) Have made my birthday week!!!😍😍🥰🥰🥰 Love you all and I'm so grateful for your content and this episode brought me so much happiness😍❤❤❤ I can't wait to watch the live!😍🥳🥳🥰🥰
Honestly, this is content I normally don’t watch. RUclipsrs I love and watch everyday have podcasts and I never watch them. But with you guys…. I don’t know. It just feels real and intimate. Not to be weird. But it just feels like, it truly lives up to the name. You guys have a wonderful, supportive environment. And whatever each of you chooses to do, I really wish you all the best. Do what makes you happy. It will work out in the end. This from a 17 y/o, but still. I don’t believe i’m being ignorant or naïve when I say things WILL work out for each of you. You work hard, you’re charismatic and caring and I may be a little corny saying this but I like to believe the value in life is found when good people get what they put out.
Maks ideas are beautiful ugh I totally see the beauty in what it could be, a series on RUclips ugh what great ideas. We all experience and relate to it, this queer community will do you right mak!!! Don’t worry!!
Mak, trust me when I say. The content you want to create is very needed! I think people would love it. I know I will. Just give it some time to pick up, it always takes a bit
Not in the “same” position as Mak at all but related SO much to them. I really almost started crying not just just hearing someone else talk about it but hear Ash and Alayna talk Mak through it and offer not only comfort but solutions and resources. Love you guys and this podcast so much❤️ (Could you maybe drop the book in patreon or something??)
I love that Ashley’s like “Mak I’m sending you a book” (cue everyone assuming she’s sending a link to a book for Mak to buy) then she asks for Maks address 🥲 everyone needs a friend like Ashley and Alayna so wholesome 💕
But also for the rest of us... where is the linky winky? 😂
My brother does this for people all the time. He's such a gem.
She's being such a dad, I love it.
100% it was SO sweet
Share the title :(
I appreciate you ladies so much! I finally got the strength to tell my husband that I’m a lesbian. We’ve been together for 20 years and 4 years ago I came out as bi. We had an open relationship and i was able to explore my sexuality. But deep down in side in knew what i needed for myself. FORTUNATELY my husband is a very kind loving excepting man that is a very rare needle in a haystack. But I was continuing to worry and put his feelings first instead of taking care of myself. I found myself falling back into a depression and isolating. So we had the conversation with much tears and emotion. He has moved into a spare room and are walking and supporting eachother through this experience, with love honor and grace. I finally feel free for the first time in my life at the OLD AGE ( as Ashley says she is 😂😂😂) of 52.
I just want to say your podcast, TikTok’s and individual RUclips channels have helped me become the person that I am today.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
I get to take my new hope to be girlfriend soon to Vegas this weekend and get to be 💯GAAAAAYYYYY
yasssssss
this made me smile. Thank you for sharing!
Hugs!!! That’s so amazing ❤️
🎉🎉🎉this is so emotional. I'm happy for you
so happy for you!
Mak saying 'hot teenage brother' in the babyest voice ever is super cute. Love that Alayna is so comfortable saying 'mom' now.
Thanks for another great pod and to Mak, opening up and being vunerable too. 💜
I’m actually very interested in the business advice between Alayna and Ashley
same
Me three
Keep it coming! I have no idea how it all works!
I have always felt that Mak's best talent is in a talk show type format. While I enjoy the skit type stuff with Jack, it's more entertaining for me when they just sit and talk. Same with Mattea or whoever else. That might be a path toward content that feels more authentic for her.
Ellen but not cancelled
I so completely agree! Mak is that person that makes everyone their friend when they enter a new situation.
@@whatnowwithkayden yeah, ellen but not a dickhead
Agreed, also Mac is very much so labeled as the "little sis/ boy",that's super protected, I adore her creativity, she's very much fam so slightly reserved,yet when Mac speaks it's very special❤
@@ronaldclise4139most definitely
Being European is awesome because this always comes out when Im having breakfast
Haha, for me, it comes out when my school days over.
Sameeee😅
Mak: You have done SO MUCH for the community, you don't even know! Thirst traps got lost people through the door to the helpful content we're at now. You've graduated onto more serious topics with your audience. Whatever you choose, we're here for you and what you need. Even if it means less media. My favorite quote will always be, "Turn. The world will follow after." Trust your instincts; We'll follow when if/when you're ready. 💞💫
Mak needs to see this
I have a lot of sympathy for content creators like her. They're people, and people's needs and interests change, but the audience comes for a specific thing. It must be scary to let your content change with you and not know if your audience will follow. That's a really difficult position to be in
Ooh, who said that? That quote is so good.
43:40 Ashley's knowing smirk when Alayna agrees with her is so funny to me for some reason. It's like a mix between "told you so" and "I AM ELDER QUEER, LISTEN TO MY EXPERIENCE".
Also, happy half-year anniversary to the podcast!
Lmao I thought the same thing. cause at the beginning Ash said "this might sound counterintuitive" and then when Alayna was like "it's almost counterintuitive but it's true" Ash started smiling lol
Can we take a moment and appreciate how validating a perfectly timed and executed roast can feel? Being so open and vulnerable about a thing that is really eating you up inside, Admitting that there's nothing really wrong, and being met with "That shirt, though..." is just fucking flawless.
Listening from Australia mother of a daughter who came out at 18yrs ❤.
Then 6mths later her girlfriend now lives with us & I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love them both ❤.
Love listening because your support each other’s mental health ❤ being ND myself it is beautiful to see xx
This warms my heart. Hi fellow Australian :)
Yay Jenny 😊
As this made me tear up. Much love from the US ❤️
ahhhh finally found the australians! starting a comment section petition to get ashley touring here
@@zazajf seriously. I'd deadass sign up for the text list if she announced a Sydney show 😂
I am a 25yo female virgin. My friends and I throw the term semi-demisexual around to describe ourselves. I am not asexual but need to have a emotional connection with someone before I feel comfortable enough to want to have sex. I find people attractive, but would not take it further if I don't feel emotionally connected. I don't feel pressure to have sex because I know that when I find the right person I will explore it further. Sex is not a race, and has no time limits.
See I have a thing where I could look at people in a sexual way but when it comes to it I cannot I’m not comfortable giving a person such a big part of me. It’s confusing bc I know I’m not asexual whatsoever but I’ve never felt close enough to a person to want to give them that side of me. I get scared
Mallee, I resonate with that so much
Definitely no reason to rush, I had my firsts this year being 27, First time giving someone else an orgasm and also being on a receiving end even if it didn't yet turned to O. Take your time ;)
I'm the older lesbian who dated a new lesbian who hasn't had sexual experience. She was 20 and I was 26 when we met. I took things at her pace and didn't push her to do something she wasn't ready for. We've been together for 7 years and are now married.
Congrats! You've given me hope🎉
to the girl who is worried about not finding someone she can trust to have sex with. learn to trust yourself and it will naturally lead you to people you can also trust. learn to be vulnerable with people unrelated to sex. and when people are kind and considerate of you when sex isn’t on the table then they are usually people who you can have a trusting and vulnerable sexual relationship with. try not to put so much pressure on yourself about the right person or the right time. you’re the right person. and the right time is whenever it happens. just be present, open, and most importantly listen to yourself when something feels right or wrong and the rest will fall into place.
I was a V until 26 and thought the same way. It's still hard as a 31 yo woman who still doesn't participate in full seg until I'm committed. You will find people. The hardest part is not listening to the peer pressure to be something you're not. There is nothing wrong with going slow.
Waking up to this podcast is the best thing, can’t have a bad day now
100%Understood
Queer Christian here, writing in to acknowledge the hurt Christianity has caused. The church has absolutely traumatized the queer community, and that is NOT okay. You are loved, and valued and your experiences are valid ❤.
I will say, I am still learning to extend this to myself. It is lonely, and it hurts to not be in a safe place to come out. I too have been hurt by the church. By friends and family of the church. My self acceptance is a work in progress, and it helps getting to join you for dinner every week, and finding my own 'chosen family'.
Ashley imploding under all the words of affirmation was just 😍
29:37 Ashley's nonchalant "You can fuck off," had me cackling away hahahaha and Mak's face 46:01 after Ashley saying they're gonna go get her chicken nuggets lmaoo.
"What do you want?"
- "I want to leave church." 😂😂☠☠☠☠
Alayna’s pure pride and satisfaction at seeing Ashley provide Mak legit, mental health aware ideas and thoughts….a true family 💜💜💜
omg mak's ideas are actually amazing I hope she gets to make these series
I love how this pod went "Ashley's being insecure about her shirt? We (Mak and Alayna) will affirm her character"
The vibes in the first 5 minutes of this podcast are why I keep coming back 😂
As a 24yo lesbian who hasn't been intimate with anybody yet, this episode really helped me feel more comfortable with it. I've often worried if who i'm with next is going to judge me or not understand why I haven't been intimate yet, and it's caused me a lot of anxiety about getting into a new relationship. Thank you for answering this question!
I TOTALLY feel this!! I'm 22yo and am terrified that they would judge but I've come to realize (huge thanks to this podcast too!!) that it's TOTALLY MORE THAN OKAY to not have been intimate yet!! someone who judges u for it or makes u feel less because of it is not someone worth your time or energy
@@zephyr5666most definitely,anyone who pressures,judges or negativity can move along!✌🏼
The creativity block and work conversation is so real and relatable. It's helpful to hear people I see as "doing it" or "successful" talking about the same fears.
Macs struggle is so relatable and the advice from Ashley and Alayna is universal 🥹🥰 I love this family so much ❤
Ashley's immediate "I'm sending you a book" is so precious ❤
Mak, if you were to recreate entire rom com movies (but gay) i would watch every single second of it. Nothing would make me happier than finally seeing queer rom coms
No one is entitled to your personal life regardless of how much of your life you put out there. Having a following doesn’t mean you belong to that following. Do the things that make you happy and excited and the people who want to watch you be the best you will continue to watch because it’s you they love. You have things to say that people want to listen to and can relate to. I love this podcast so much.
The whole episode I was thinking how good you all are in bringing some comedy in (Ash is still the Czar of Comedy) while talking about serious stuff. The balance is always great, and that's also my way to cope with stuff in life, so it's really vibing with me. So, Alayna, when you said "we're so serious today", you were not, you all were as hilarious as always! I did laugh at those Ash's jokes when Alayna and Mak didn't 😂
Also Mak, your feelings are truly valid and you really need to do what you want to do, because as I commented on your video with Jake, you are outstanding as a filmmaker, also considering that you alone are doing all the work behind the scenes. Your storytelling is quirky, flowy, accurate, fun, relatable and your ideas sound like really good material that I'm sure you'll be able to make the best of it.
Love you, guys. My Wednesdays truly start with a great kick thanks to you ❤
My wife is almost 12 years older than me. We met when I was early 20's & she was early 30's. I'm now almost 42 & she just turned 53. It's the best relationship I have ever been in & better than I ever could have hoped for. Yes, I do think there can be too much of an age gap, and when you're younger it feels like a bigger gap (esp if one isn't an adult....). But just putting an age range on an acceptable "gap" doesn't always work. We've been together for 7 years now, almost 5 years married, and I'm still wildly in love. Sometimes you fall for someone you wouldn't expect & age doesn't always matter all *that* much. ❤
This is so the story of me and my partner. They chased me down and it was my first queer relationship. I had just embraced that I was queer. They told me they were bisexual and I responded, "Who doesn't identify as queer these days?" Which queued to them I was too. I am ten years older and we met as coworkers (both working different places now). We thought it was a hooking up thing for me to grow into my queerness and then it turned to love.
@@eclecticphyllis8326 that's beautiful! I'm so glad you found each other! ❤️🌈
@@4lovebysara Thank you! Glad you found each other, too. My partner was 23 and I was 33 when we met so sounds super similar. 💗🌈
Wife pleaser soothed my soul 🥺
As someone who is bisexual but always been shy when flirting with women because I fear the unknown - Alayna, your answer gave me so much comfort ❤
Ashley, if you reconsider sharing the title & author of the book you sent Mak, that would be rad, because I feel like it might be really helpful for me to read (very much on struggle-street over here). I don't think people would shit on it. And if they do, who cares. I've heard people shit on my favourite book, and I don't care, as it's still special to me and always will be. It might be really helpful for others too.
Check out the War of Art by Steven Pressfield could be it who knows 👀
I love u guys so much, as a 17 year old lesbian white cis woman. I feel in a group and accepted and loved. Thanks :)
Five minutes of Mak and Ashley going “OMG should I change” 💁♀️ is not something I would ever expect 😂❤
Mak!! For your first idea I feel like it would be so cool to add in your viewers by allowing people to submit their own stories to be transformed into shorts! You are amazing and I’m so excited to see you grow into your art.
Ok Mak lit up when she was talking about her dream projects and that’s a major indication it’s worth the effort🥰, and I was heartbroken when no one got the Say Anything reference 🙃
I'm super late to this but the idea of coming out stories is so good for the community. I found a podcast (in french) with about 8 coming out stories, I loved it, as a baby gay it was awesome to see some diversity and some older queer talking about their life.
This episode:
-got me searching for an exact same shirt Ashley is wearing (it’s awesome and also I’m 18)
-made me want to hug Mak at tell her she is capable of everything and everything is going to be ok
-justified my relationship with a girl 7 years older (not that it needed justification but it’s nice to know there are people with similar experience)
i love that Dad is the most delicate
Suggestion: Find someone older for experience! I may have stepped over the line of some folk's age-gap comfort but i met a woman 13 years older than me who was willing to welcome/guide a young lesbian into a new world. nearly 14 years later and she's my wife. She'll tell you i bamboozled her but truth-be-told we worked so well together as our personalities are just that opposite - oh and COMMUNICATION is key....not just being comfortable with new adventures but in general life and companionship.
I love having this podcast family. ❤❤❤ It's beautiful to see your vulnerable sides. We all struggle, and it's comforting to hear about others working through it.
I hear you, literally my therapy and my only friends😂😂
“Fear of the blank page” just reminds me so much of the SpongeBob episode where he’s writing an essay lol
When they were talking about Ashley letting that future comedian onstage I welled up, my heart
Hey Mak! I just want to say that you have really truly great ideas. You don’t have to keep doing the same thing you have been doing to be successful. Your audience will grow and mature with you. As a queer person myself who grew up loving rom-coms, it would be so healing for my little gay heart to see some gay rom-com stuff. It would be so good to see some lighthearted queer stories with happy endings for once. Sending virtual hugs! Good luck!
Yes! I crave the healing vibes of that queer rom com idea
❤ “Ideas are cheap, execution is expensive” 🙌
I’m actually really excited I really want to see what Mak puts out in the future
"Or just fully let them inhabit the space while you're working. Cause as you're working they'll start to disappear." THIS. This is so true. As a theater actress and directress and writer, I have been through the paralyzing fear that I would never be good enough for my actresses to trust me and for anything good enough to come out, and mostly that I would never manage to do the paperwork necessary to get money or even just a place to rehearse at and a place and date to finally play. But once you're fully in the creating process, the rest becomes so much easier
Mak and Ashley’s ultimate war of being Tsar of wanting to change shirt
OMG Alayna’s disgusted look as she says, “Someone take this podcast away from us. Now we’re too comfortable.” Is everything.
Elena ✨
Elena 😍
I decided to watch this while I'm in the canteen at college and it started with "COMMING SO HARD" 🤣🤣
I think Mac is talking about decision paralysis. It happens to me a lot as a symptom of adhd. It can make me question it all if something seems a little difficult and then the insecurity of not being able grows. I guess all I can say you can do in that situation is just give yourself the space and time to feel however you feel and when you are ready get back to it. Don’t keep going through motions that are growing that feeling. I feel like you’ll feel better when you become your own best friend a little more in that way by holding space to feel however you feel without the space for shame or guilt. You’re all beautiful. I love you! Thanks for this podcast!
I was in the caller’s position 15 years ago. Sex was just a really big deal for me. Getting naked and letting somebody touch my body was a big deal to me. I needed my first few partners to just be *patient* with me. Some people felt really rejected that I didn’t want to pounce them right away. Thankfully, I found somebody who understood, and let me build up my comfort slowly. Sex is supposed to feel good. You deserve to do it in a way that feels good.
True dinner table vibes is being able to talk about anything. Work/ business and definitely venting is on the table.
I'm an older RUclips consumer. I was around for the shipping wars between RUclipsrs, and I was there for my gen learning we're not owed every part of a creator. The masses are a scary beast, but they can learn, usually slowly but faster online than in person. You can let your audience know that you need to collect yourself and keep it to yourself. Some will not accept at first, but more will and stay and celebrate what you create.
Mak getting a pep talk from mom and dad was everything we all needed as little queers
It’s a privilege to be able to have you all let us into your lives and no one should ever think they have the right to tell you they want to see more!
Kitty coming into video is one of my fav parts 😂❤
Alayna’s reaction when Ashley talked about cunning. Classic Alayna. Your such a mom
Mak I'm here for whatever you choose to put out next, you got this you hot teenage brother you 💪
Pass the salt😊 Time to eat dinner with the fam😌
Mak, the anxiety of failure is paralyzing, but the most exciting things happen for us when we push past that intense fear. I'm an anxiety ridden person so I try to set up one goal every year that pushes me past what I'm comfortable in. Mine have been physical things because working out helps with all my anxiety but you can choose a small (or big) career goal. I always tell myself that I can do one thing. I can accomplish one goal. The world won't end if I do one new thing.
I think Mak was really onto something with the aspect of not being comfortable giving and not receiving, at first. Maybe the person could start by giving, and then maybe a conversation about the possibility of receiving to build trust.
47:03 - I absolutely agree about how important this is for people to recognize. Your religion is valid, but my religious trauma is equally as valid. We shouldn't be required to keep quiet about our negative experiences to spare the feelings of those who were lucky enough to come out the other end in one piece.
Yesss the scene in Say anything with John Cusack but gay!!! Do it Mak, please.
ashleys shirt being inside out is my favourite part of the should i change back and forth
always interested in the “business” side of your work! tell me all about editors and stuff
Istg you guys post at THE perfect time. My breakfast is literally blessedd w this podcast
I would love every single one of Mak's film ideas. Honestly, you three give so much of yourselves to your listeners already. When Alayna announced she got into her super duper prestigious degree programme I cried happy tears, like a proud friend. And Ashley, I've had her special in my calender for weeks and will be staying up late to watch it from the UK. And Mak, you are such a skilled creative, if you choose to move away from the content you currently make to pursue what truly speaks to you, we will always support you! We just want you all to be happy :)
Mak i would feel the exact same way if I was in your career or position this is the realest thing I’ve heard in a while
I love how vulnerable this podcast thank you for being my chosen family ❤
Is it bad that I stay awake till 1am in Canada just so I can watch Chosen Family Pod because I work at 7am and don’t have time before work 😬😅 gotta do what you gotta do for the gays 😉😏
I relate to the burnout conversation… the best thing that helped me after few months of depression and burnout was to be in nature for a week with some friends and new people and just completely go away from the routine life… it’s so good for depression to be in the nature… just retreat every few months…
Also the ideas about the video series of coming out stories and queering the rom-com scenes are beautiful ideas…
Really appreciated how much that “how are you” sounded like “how dare you yassify my son.” Clearly someone is raising her boy right 🥰
listen. my great uncle came out in his like, 50s, probably in his 60s now. he was married for ages and had 3 kids. his ex-wife didn't come out, but she DID move in w her ~lifelong friend~. y'know.
and my great uncle? he dates young twinks. like late 20s, probably 30s.
not long relationships.
he also is just friends with some of them--genuine friendships. he also has and is making more queer friends his age, as well.
and it's like.
THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT!
he's just a really great, kind, understanding guy--who hasn't really been on the queer scene for his entire life! so it's this wonderful exchange of life experience and perspectives. these younger gay guys have more experience in the queer community and can be a guide for him that way--and likewise, my great uncle has so much general life experience and knowledge that he can share with them, particularly about our history. though he wasn't out at the time, he WAS *there* for it.
and legitimately, i think it's healthy and normal for queer people to occasionally seek out older members of the community--for any kind of relationship. friendships, partnerships, hook up situations, committed relationships, etc.
like age differences, in my opinion, only verge on gross when the young person is *really* young and the situation is such that it's exploitative.
but i just think--like ashley says--ESPECIALLY for queer people, we *need* that mentorship. we need that support and knowledge and guidance. it's GOOD for us. bc straight and cis people--they can just get that from anyone and anywhere at any time, basically (caveat for nuance, if you're cis het & didn't receive guidance, this isn't about you, it's abt a general trend). but we have to seek it out, bc our community is so split up and difficult to find. so of course it makes sense to me.
there are a million reasons why young queer people seek out older queer people and vice versa. and they're all perfectly fine reasons.
and i really like that advice, that finding someone older might take the pressure off and help you feel better abt being new to the experience. everyone's new and inexperienced at everything at one point in their lives.
and i also wanna say that i appreciate how sincerely and kindly y'all are handling that question--bc i relate a lot to that question asker, and in many places w many ppl, that sort of questions or concern gets treated kind of cruelly or condescendingly. but y'all's answers and thoughts for this person are actually kind and encouraging. so thank you for that!
“Wife pleaser” I LOVE GEN Z! First time I have heard that remix before and I am here for it!
There's this weird idea that famous people/people with a platform can't ever say anything negative about how that feels but it makes complete sense! I would hate to have my whole life online (not saying it's bad to do it, just that would be so draining for me, to have all these opinions about your life thrown at you all the time. It's not a way we've evolved to exist so I imagine it would be very hard to live with). Also it's very weird to me when we follow someone because we like hearing about their life/experiences but then when they share their experience of not enjoying having a platform, we turn around and tell them to not share that with us, lol
Sometimes you just gotta take the risk and try something new. The hardest things in life have the greatest returns. The more you do something the more you learn, the more connections you'll make a great impact
Wednesday is the highlight of my week because of this pod ♥️ I love that y’all are honest, real, get deep and emotional, and are hilarious as fuck. It’s the perfect mix of everything. And since I’m in the Deep South, y’all are my gay family.
I’m gonna start notes with all the listeners do you cares from now on :
•yes we(me and I assume others) do kinda care I love the way y’all communicate about more then just the podcast. And I think it’s cool info 🧐😎.
Yes! It also helps understand how things work in this market, so we can truly connect with you when you're talking about things that are stressing you, how you perceive things and the feelings you get. Because overall, they are truly relatable facts and emotions that can be applied to other (working/studying) circumstances.
Also, talking about how you wish your life to be more private can help can repress those awful people who are always opinionated, no matter what you're saying, to comment improperly. The truth about those people, they are listening, but they're unable to take anything in as a matter of fact just because it doesn't resonate with them and their experience.
I’m here Mak’s ideas!! Yes, that’excactly what we need! we would looove that ❤
I do care about everything you talk about -- my only wish is that episodes were longer 😅😅
Maks ''...sup'' has me cry laughing on the floor. XD
“Imagine a world” like this isint the best podcast ever already that’s blowing up
This is so cheesy but editing for someone like you guys is my dream!! Yes! Yes! We love to hear that talk 😅 I’m so interested in the process as a newly graduated art student
I wish more people talked about it then I might know what editing/producing jobs or not job possibilities even exist
I found it so funny that Alayna followed up Ashley’s “youngest she can be with” number with asking if they should bring up 9/11, because my personal rule is that if you weren’t alive during 9/11, you’re too young for me 😳😂
I was 7 months old when it happened...that’s probably still too young 😂
@@J17891 that would make you, what, 22? I’m 27 so that’s not bad. I chose 9/11 mostly because it’s funny but also more than 5 years younger feels icky for me so it works out (this is for hookups not full relationships)
I can totally relate to Mak. A pivot in your career is so scary and full of so much doubt. Your brain does everything it can to stop you. Ashley’s advice really resonated with me!
Mak's experience resonates with me and is common among creatives in many fields.
I've had that exact feeling when I was younger, probably around her age. (I'm in my 30s now.) It took me a long time to learn how to ask for help. It's definitely overwhelming to tackle a bigger project, especially because they can require expertise that aren't our own or because they take a long time and we run out of steam. I used to work on something vigorously before hitting a wall, setting it aside and retreating to my comfort zone. For me it was about building habits that help me create after the initial excitement of inspiration faded; learning to ask for help when it came to elements I couldn't do myself; and finding things that motivated me like sharing parts that excited me with friends and loved ones and their enthusiasm would motivate me to continue.
I hope Mak figures out what works her and I'm glad she's got supportive friends. Also, I wonder if the book is Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Marie Rilke.
I would very much watch Mak's series, they sound so amazing! I really hope she pursues them.
I really appreciate that you guys chose this comment. I am 22 and in the same position but go between labels on the spectrum of ace to bisexual (I feel like I question myself everyday). It’s quite difficult to actually pin whom and if I feel attraction to people, so I don’t try to go out and meet people. I liked the advice, finding someone you can be vulnerable with would feel nice but it’s hard 😅
I'd love to know name of the book that Ashley is talking about. I'm experiencing same problems as a musician right now. Thank you guys for being so authentic - listening to this podcast is soothing and therapeutic for me. Thanks again.
I think it's the War of Art by Steven Pressfield, and it's SO GOOD and no one is allowed to shit on it 💛
i feel ashley is having a good point there with the queer experience with age gaps in relationships. a lot of queer people have something like a second puperty in their twentys or even later, because of missing out on so many important aspects of it while being in the closet during their teen years. so it makes a lot of sense to me, that it is such a thing to have a relationship with someone older (8-12 years or so ) to have that space, the guidance and safety for that second puperty. not that it´s apsolutly needed, but it is a great thing to have.
This is the 3rd time I've listened to this and I still hear, "GRAMMAR!"
Mak, you should dedicate full time to your art, if you don't feel good making content for social media, then don't do it, or post whenever you feel like it. You have so much potencial for filmmaking (and your sister!), in the end you're the one that makes that decision, and whatever you choose, you'll do great in it.
this podcast makes my days so much happier I wouldn't know what to do without it
My birthday is this friday and this (ALONG WITH ASHLEY'S SPECIAL ON THE 23RD! 2 DAYS AFTER MY BIRTHDAY😍😍😍) Have made my birthday week!!!😍😍🥰🥰🥰 Love you all and I'm so grateful for your content and this episode brought me so much happiness😍❤❤❤ I can't wait to watch the live!😍🥳🥳🥰🥰
Honestly, this is content I normally don’t watch. RUclipsrs I love and watch everyday have podcasts and I never watch them. But with you guys…. I don’t know. It just feels real and intimate. Not to be weird. But it just feels like, it truly lives up to the name. You guys have a wonderful, supportive environment. And whatever each of you chooses to do, I really wish you all the best. Do what makes you happy. It will work out in the end. This from a 17 y/o, but still. I don’t believe i’m being ignorant or naïve when I say things WILL work out for each of you. You work hard, you’re charismatic and caring and I may be a little corny saying this but I like to believe the value in life is found when good people get what they put out.
i love the behind the scenes stuff it’s so interesting
Maks ideas are beautiful ugh I totally see the beauty in what it could be, a series on RUclips ugh what great ideas. We all experience and relate to it, this queer community will do you right mak!!! Don’t worry!!
I love hearing the business side of things as well as the chatting, advice, and stories! Would definitely welcome more!
Mak, trust me when I say. The content you want to create is very needed! I think people would love it. I know I will. Just give it some time to pick up, it always takes a bit
Not in the “same” position as Mak at all but related SO much to them. I really almost started crying not just just hearing someone else talk about it but hear Ash and Alayna talk Mak through it and offer not only comfort but solutions and resources. Love you guys and this podcast so much❤️
(Could you maybe drop the book in patreon or something??)