Mak’s defense of Jojo was so incredibly heartwarming. I’m so glad that someone of a similar age in that community with a big pile of influence available to them is speaking up against bullying amongst adults. Thank you for being so mature AND voicing your frustration well.
My intro to Jojo was her saying she didn’t like the word lesbian. I’m feel the same and I’m an old lesbian. Yet, the “guardians of all things lesbian” think they can tell people they don’t like a word because of internalised homophobia. Pisses me off. I don’t like the word-I prefer gay men and gay women-, and I know why I don’t like the word even as I use it when describing gay women in writing. IRL I will tell people I’m gay. Culture changes and people need to get used it it. We don’t have to be attached to a word because someone tells us it’s history that we ought to embrace. I know the way in which the word came into being and I am no more attached to it than invert. They were labels given to us. Homosexual people actually chose the word gay, which is why I prefer it. People are welcome to love a word chosen for them by professionals because of the source referenced but I don’t have to.
@Madison Heights This is an amazing way at looking at it! I never managed to put into words a way of saying why or really coming up with something to back up my preference for using "gay woman". Thanks
@@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS I agree about choosing a description rather than being described. 'Lesbian' kind of sounds like "nudge, wink, from that certain Greek island, know what I mean?" But that's just my take. I'll respect the choices other folks make.
👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💯 same! I just commented very similar too. I’ve been with my husband for 16 years. Thankfully he’s secure enough in himself that I’ve never felt like I’ve needed to hide my sexuality in any way and I’m just as bi today as I was the day we met.. I just so happened to have fallen for a man instead of a woman.. that’s it.. ❤
Hello! This time I wanted to thank Mak, Alayna and Ashley. I started university recently and been with a lot of family responsibilities, a lot of anxiousness, fear and depression. But i had the mentality of "not bad enough to get diagnosed" or "you will just waste therapy time". But ever since i started watching you guys I started realizing all the different ways therapy can help me and how can I access it. Today is my second appointment with my therapist and I can actually feel the change. Thank you so much for all three of you who accompany me in this ✨journey✨ (take a shot)
That's amazing!! This podcast is awesome, and I'm so glad they help break so many stigmas and encourage things like therapy. Does anyone have any recommendations for how long I should go to a therapist before I leave to try a new one? I've had 3 or 4 appointments so far and don't feel like it's been helping, but I'm not sure how much time it usually takes or if I'm the problem instead of my therapist
@@x13Mango13x Acclimating to a therapist is similar to other relationships in that it takes time to build the rapport. It’s not odd AT ALL to not see massive life altering changes after 3-4 sessions. Think of it like exercise, not medicine. It takes time. ❤️ If you’re like 6 months in and see no changes and don’t trust/feel comfortable with your therapist then I’d ask for a new one. Don’t ghost your therapist 🥲 (I’ve done it)
Ashley, i don’t think we were interested in how you switched from computer science to comedy because we thought you had to chose between two passions, but because we wanted to know what made you go after your dreams as hard as you do because many of us are apprehensive to go after our own! Its always inspiring to hear some one else who has completely changed their life around so we can remember no matter how far we’ve gone in one direction, we can chose something different. We can chose to better ourselves, and we can chose to do what we actually freaking enjoy! As always, thanks for sharing. 👏🏼
@@ashgavs well while i cant speak to the people in your physical environment, surely some who know you from your content and comedy are wondering for this reason! Thanks for reading💕
Mak’s background is giving teenage brother vibes. Between the crumpled government documents, the couch in disarray and subtle brag of the RUclips plaque…she really nailed it.
A good way to ask for someones STI/STD status, is for you to volunteer that information about yourself first. e.g. "I've been tested" or "My last test was _________ (2 mths ago or whatever) and I got all the clear, so I just wanted to let you know that before anything happens. How about you?" For the actual tests, your GP can do most of them. I understand you might feel awkward bringing that up, though (especially when going through actual sexual practice questions). If you go to a sexual health clinic however, they know that you're there for that. Everyone is.
I came out as lesbian, and then my fiancé told me that he was a trans man. It was really hard for me at first because I only got five months as a lesbian in the community. I was raised devout, Mormon we both were. Like serve the mission and everything. it was really hard for me to feel like me being with a trans man invalidated my queerness, so I love her talking about her experience.
mak: *goes on very important and emotional rant about the queer community on TikTok* ashley the second mak mentions TikTok: *stares into camera as though she's on the office*
The whole "get a little house in the woods, get some cats. Just you and me against the world." That was the single most gratifying comment I have ever heard and I have never felt like a bigger lesbian than I do right now. Thank you for that. 👏 #goals
I feel like having Mattea regularly on the show would make the podcast even better cause she represents alot of people in the community and she's thoughtful and hilarious.
I had no idea I would relate to Mattea this much. Im still in highschool and the amount of pressure I feel/felt (I learned to handle it better) to come out, put a label on myself and make it a big deal is huge, even from people I love and not only love me back but are supportive and even part of the lgbtq+ community. Thanks for this podcast, for being so open and vulnerable it helps a lot!
So.... We keeping Mattea? She was excellent! I love how her mind works. It's almost scary, what are we going to get here? KABOOM! Chaos and brilliance.
I really appreciate this episode and Mattea sharing her thoughts about coming out. I am a 31 year old cis woman who is married to a man, and though I've always known I've had an attraction to women, I've never officially "come out" (until now, I guess) because I didn't want to feel like or be accused of being a fraud because I'm married to a man. Thankfully the people who know I'm queer, including my husband, are incredibly supportive and validating. Surrounding yourself with the right people makes all the difference. I think you've got some good people in your corner, Mattea.
As a 24 yearold Bi woman, I relate to Mattea's feelings of not having a very solid community. Growing up, it was difficult to find friends who were actually comfortable with my sexuality. Gay, or straight; I've always felt like I have to hold a part of myself back depending on who I'm talking to. I've been out for 9 years, and people still call me a closeted lesbian or a straight girl just "experimenting"😪
SO glad you are bringing up the challenges of feeling acceptance from the community as a bi person who is with the opposite gender person. I struggle with this so much and really want more queer friendships and community.
This is so so healing!!! I have had a fear of STI's for so long, but just hearing Ashley talk about how common and normal and okay it is is so good for me. 💕 This is so nice to hear that there are options and solutions if it does happen. Just the energy of the way Ashley talks about this is so relieving 😌
This show has brought me so much comfort. There is so much going on in the world and so much legislation that's gunning for drag shows and trans rights (I live in Kentucky), and this show has made me feel at home and safe in public spaces when I'm just not comfortable. Thank you so much for providing this space and continuing to make content.
Oh it was great to see Mattea on here! What an extra fun episode! Ashley right out of the gates with a conversion therapy joke- OMG! You and Alayna- y’all were totally on point with that bit and that was before Mak as her sister’s “agent” got Mattea on there so I knew it would be doubly good! Then Mattea gets on and I’m laughing so hard that my family can tell I was watching something funny from three rooms away! 😆😆 I was sooo excited to see this episode drop this morning! I have a chronic pain condition and lots of rain have made my pain flare even worse. So, after such a rough night, it cheered me up sooo much to see a new video had popped up! Loving this podcast sooo much! 🎉🎉
i loved the section where mattea talked about not wanting to label herself in case people attack her for changing it. i think a lot of women get confused about their sexuality and "go back to straight" like this actually happens a lot not just bi women dating men like literally mistaking their sexuality and i think a lot of gay women are messed up from it. i have empathy for women that dont get believed that theyre gay/attracted to women, but you have to remember that this confusion does actually happen a lot and straight women take advantage of gay women *all* the time. female sexuality is physically so elusive so its important to be compassionate with eachother. if theyve been burned so many times it makes sense they have their guard up 🧡
Also worth noting that I was engaged to a man at 27 years old and he left me because I slept with my best girl friend. Realizing I’m gay. You’re not alone Alayna ♥️ you actually really helped me through all of this
And when I told someone I went to high school about it, she told me she thought I was gay for the past 10 years and was like “why were you with him?” 😂
The grapes is hilarious! Every time I see a scraggly dog on the street I name it RUPERT🤣🤣🤣🤣 This episode is hilarious. I’m watching it at 2am and cracking up in bed. I relate so much to Mattea. I’m 52 and married to a man, live in a small town and am totally gay. I’m out to him and a few friends. I feel gayer and gayer every day and am struggling with it. I don’t want the label because I don’t want to deal with the scrutiny on both sides.
I really relate to Mattea. I'm bi/pan/whatever. I also don't really put a label on it. However I'm in a hetero, monogamous marriage. I rarely disclose how I identity while meeting new people unless they stick around long enough in my life because some people just think you're lying, or confused, or want to be "trendy". And then I feel bad for taking up *any* space in the queer community because of my relationship status. When I'm looking inward it seems so simple: Yes, I'm in a hetero marriage. Yes, I find/found myself attracted to all sorts of different people throughout my life. Like those are my undeniable truths. It shouldn't be so complicated but it still feels like it is.
Thank you!!!! I’m also a pan women who doesn’t like labels and has been in a Hetero relationship for almost 10 years. I use to not use the labels bc I thought it didn’t matter. Then my uncle came out and even though his experience in our family as a gay man is different.. I didn’t want our family to think being gay is uncommon or weird or that he’s the odd one out. My parents were chill with it; my boyfriend is okay with it; all my friends know so I don’t feel the need to tell everyone I meet bc it’s not the focal point of my life. Yet, I also understand that being in a straight relationship makes my experience “easier” than other gay people who do not have an “option”. But, that’s not why I’m with a straight man, it just happened so idk why I also feel the need to not include/impose myself onto the gay community as if I’m not “gay enough”. And the gay friends I have don’t care I’m in a straight relationship so why do I think the community does? Like it’ll discount my personal experience or something. It’s a internal challenge for sure.
Oh my, it's a great episode! "Baby Gay Ticktoker meets The Gang", it was so sweet, I loved it! There were episodes when your connection felt not that natural, but the more videos you make, the better is the chemistry between you all. Thank you for everything you do!
Ashley, I am continuously inspired by you. I’m so happy I somehow found your podcast a year ago. It’s been a tough one, and your content has been a great gift. I’m the one (or one of the people, if there were more) who asked about your transition from programming to stand-up. Thank you for getting into it, even though you seemed a bit uncomfortable with it, and thank you to Alayna for all of the well-phrased questions. (Alayna, you have a magical gift for making people open up). Ashley’s story helped me feel better about a lot of stuff. Especially what she said about not letting yourself be your full/real self. I’ve spent the past 8 years getting a Master’s degree in biotech (chronic pain prolonged the process sooooo much) and even though I’m so proud of the achievement and also incredibly interested in the field, I’m also a bit frustrated with myself for going the safe route and trying to mould my creative side into something that fit within society's accepted boxes. I’ve written books since I was 6 and have worked hard to get published since I was 16 - yet to no avail. And it’s tough. Sometimes it feels like an impossible battle, and I honestly must be a bit insane at this point to keep going (I'm 28). I’m a bit angry sometimes that I went the safe route and took a scientific degree instead of just jumping into the deep end and figuring things out. But then, you do need bread on the table. Maybe this WAS the right choice. Maybe I'll have some important experiences as a biotech engineer that will really help my creativity. I’ll never know. All I can do is move forward. What I DO know is that listening to you talk about how you were 26 and made the leap and how you tried out different things and struggled with being bad at it - it’s so inspiring, and it really makes me want to keep having a go at the things I’m bad at (or too afraid to throw myself into). Gotta keep believing! I mean, really, we’re on this earth for decades. 26 is not old. Neither is 30. We should spend the time doing what we're gifted at. And it’s never too late to get started (or for the fruits of years’ of labor to finally drop).
I loved having mattea on! Also Rachel Ballenger is close friends with Jojo so she could probably get Jojo on the podcast and I. know ashley had rachel on recently- Jojo is amazing
Ashley, I nursed my children until 3. Most cultures breastfeed until much later than the USA. My children are 22 months apart and they nurses for months together.
I'm dying laughing! So much riffing in this one. I fully believed Alayna about the banana request. Can't wait to look up the (n Mak's ASMR voice) *Grape Content*
Mak! Such a Knight in Shining Armor!!! Way to speak out! I'm the same way. I was the only kid in high school when everybody was chanting fight, fight, fight, who would speak up and say hey I think they deserve the right to know, then it was crickets... because as soon as they talked about it, there was no longer aggression. People we speak up for and advocate for remember us for that. I do want to mention one other thing which I learned through the wisdom of experience. I had a Foster child when I lived in Las Vegas around 2008 to 2011. My child was a trans boy. We had talks about bullies a lot. I said the sad thing is with his stories from school is that everybody sees bullying and then they turn around and they bully the bulliers. They believe it is not still bullying that way. I told him he was courageous enough and empathetic enough to understand what I meant by this and how to lead by his own example . I told him to reach out to the bullies from a place of love. He asked me how do I do that? I told him, when you see people bullying and ganging up on the bullies (getting mad at them for bullying you), you just stick up for them also, but from that position of love and compassion. I clearly remember the day he ran home from school and told me that it works! I love the memories we were able to share for the short time in one anothers' lives. He ended up making most of his very closest friends by sticking up for those bullies who used to make his life a living hell. They all become best friends and better people because of his example. They started a band and were the most popular kids in their school and they didn't care that they were. He was the coolest kid I've ever known and he taught me more than I believe I taught him. P.S. Love your Granny 'NanaGrams' 💕 (Edit to delete typo fat fingers haha, and P.S.)
Me - why can’t Mattea be Mak’s younger sister in the chosen fam and irl? Like family isn’t blood but you can still choose your blood family to be family. . . Right? Seriously tho I loved this pod I was cracking up and learned a lot about BV. ❤
YAY😍😍😍😍😍 THE WHOLE FAMILY!!! I'm sending so much love around each one of you! And Thank You! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For always making me smile (especially during difficult times) for being your authentic selves and being vulnerable❤❤❤💞💞💞 I love you all🥰
Thank you Ashley for sharing a bit about your transition from CS to comedy. I recently realized that I'm gay and I'm trying to switch careers from software to art. I totally relate to feeling like you've just been neglecting your true self. It sucks knowing you dedicated so much time to something you know isn't right for you. I'm still working through things, but I'm taking steps to get to where I want to be. It's worth it!
Having a gay family here make me happy even tho i can't understand some word your saying and English in not my first language but im still smiling thank you for this podcast.
The fact that Alayna just to start her videos talking about her journey of figuring out her sexuality and then Matt just being so clueless about it 🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's adorable that you guys fed together. You usually should stop with the milk in any form by 2 but everyone is different. Usually as long as they are off by the time they go to school, it's "normal"
Just putting it out there that breastfeeding at 18 months is so normal! In the US, it's a lot of times not even an option, but in most countries nursing is normal for several years. My fifth baby (yes, five 🤣) is still nursing, and she will be two in April! I love the bonding, and if she ends up gay I'll just consider it another perk. 🤣🤪
😊 the breastfeeding comment shocked me! I bf my 1st till 2 when he self weaned as I was pregnant with no.2 who is still feeding at 20months. Research & history suggests age 5 was a normal age to stop bf. And I want to say well done to mummy Ingemi for tandem feeding 🥳 that s**t is celebration worthy!
This just keeps getting better and better. All of you ladies are truly amazing! I laugh till my sides hurt. Thank you so much. I would like to see more of Mattea too. You guys just click together. Love you lotz.
Woah woah yeah!!! Yall are so cool, best trio ever I do agree with deleting tik tok though, moto community was so nice and supportive but now they hate on others and others bikes. Everyone thinks they have power because no one can see them behind that screen. Were so addicted to the internet in some bad ways it drives some insane or just become a menace now.
I think it’s way smarter for kids and young adults to not label themselves prematurely like Mattea was going for. There’s too much stress and pressure in terms of potentially “changing”, be it online or real life. Give them (or yourself) time, they’ll figure it out.
Y’all are so funny around 11:00 minutes when Mak is talking directly to us she looks into the camera and goes “ listener you asked for this “ I fucking died 🤣😊
I'd love to hear you talk about PrEP too ❤maybe if a guest is familiar with it? And yes to Lorals! Also boric acid suppositories can work great for preventing BV - if you already have it see a healthcare provider. For that or a yeast infection you can generally do virtual care of availabile to you but if you get recurrent uti's it's a good idea to go in to get a urine culture right away so your doctor knows what antibiotic to treat with. You should always feel like you can ask someone you're thinking of getting intimate with when they were last tested, when they last had a new partner / if they have current partners & whether they ask partners about testing / what their safer intimacy practices are - if you aren't ready yet it might be a good idea to spend more time getting comfy with each other.
I haven't been watching the podcast for the last month because ~life and work happened in the way, but when I saw that was a episosed with Mattea I just watched 4 of them in a row and boy............. IT WAS WORTH IT please never stop doing what you're doing right now. all the talks are incredibly important AND fun as hell, but this one adds as someting else. you're all marvelous people. ((((((and if i said anything wrong, just i'm sorry, but english is not my first language)))))))
It’s so funny that you guys mentioned Matt Rife last week, and I’ve never seen the guy before, and then the first video on my TikTok feed after I watched that podcast episode, was a Matt Rife video… he’s actually kind of funny 😅
Hi Guys what a great episode today lots of laughter and some very good conversation about a subject thats should be talked about more well done everybody can't wait till next episode
Random comment but I loved how it happened just this night considering Wednesday is your guys' upload day. I was having a dream with you three + Main babes. I don't know what she looks like exactly, I only know she's fluent in Spanish (correct me if I'm wrong) and has long, brown hair. It was supposed to be my birthday and my mother texted you guys to come over. You did actually come, which I didn't know about, and it put a lot of pressure on me to make this trip worthwhile since you guys just travelled for hours for my birthday. The set up was really strange, my house felt like one of those eerie horror movie houses, like something bad is going to happen. I remember you three standing in my hallway, while Main babes was actually now Lena Dunham, running to the kitchen naked. I ended up inviting another person I knew from my old classes and told Alayna that I invited that woman because she reminds me of Canada..because she once told me she had an online friend from Canada. Main Babes (Lena Dunham) was kind of being rude to me, talking about my conversative mother and how I need to get her ''under control'' or you will leave. To some extent she had a point, but actually my mother barely said anything to you so I felt lost at what to do. So because Mak has a very conservative father, I asked her to come to the kitchen so I can ask her for advice on what to do about my mother. Mak was being sympathetic, that's all I remember lol I then decided to take you out onto a fair, it was Canada themed. It was already really dark when we arrived and that's pretty much all I remember from that dream.
👏👏👏👏👏 thank you!! I’m bi and I just so happen to have married a man and there’s SO many times I wished more people thought like you guys do about it! I hate that my bisexuality doesn’t seem as valid to others just because I fell in love with a man instead of a woman when I’m just as bi today as I was 16 years ago when I met my husband. I just got very lucky that I met a man who is secure enough in himself that I’ve never felt like I needed to hide my sexuality..
I just binge watched all of these and I love it, it's so interesting to hear about so many topics in the queer community and also you guys are so funny. AHH, I love you all.
I was looking for a comment like that, thanks! Yeah it's even recommended to breast feed for two yrs or longer! I'm doing it as well now :) and i love it
Definitely paused this to go check out Rupert. Just tell Mattea it’s normal to develop a love/hate relationship with your art… Ashley, thank you so much for talking about laurels and your experience with it. ❤ Really great chosen family topic cause people don’t talk about it enough. Also I was literally crying laughing when Mattea said, “I tHoUgHt yOu WeRe gAy” to Alayna and I’m at work and didn’t even care, just told my boss what I was laughing at… 😂 And then I was actually crying when Mak said they see our messages because I’ve unsent like 5 messages to Ashely and 2 to Alayna. 😂 Not hate, just like, genuinely talking to them from a place of love and then I panic and unsend it within 12 hours. 😂 And I’ll say this part in a comment whereas I would usually feel compelled to send it in a message and then unsend it but Mak, I hope you’re okay. It’s clear that you feel passionately about trying to discourage negativity towards someone’s lifestyle or content choices and I just wanna say, keep doing you, boo. The people that don’t want to like it or want to be negative about something so pointless to be mad about have far, far more issues in life and I’m willing to bet that content is not what they’re actually mad about. Group think is a powerful tool for brainwashing and I’m proud of you guys for standing against it. Love all of you. ❤
Protect yourself from the algorithm! Browse in incognito/private mode! Srsly mine's always on because I have ADHD & my search history reads like the shopping list of a taxidermist hitman with a cheese fixation
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
Mak hyping up Mattea for what she’s currently working on is so wholesome 🥹
I cried 😭
Was amazing 🔥
Mak’s defense of Jojo was so incredibly heartwarming. I’m so glad that someone of a similar age in that community with a big pile of influence available to them is speaking up against bullying amongst adults. Thank you for being so mature AND voicing your frustration well.
My intro to Jojo was her saying she didn’t like the word lesbian. I’m feel the same and I’m an old lesbian. Yet, the “guardians of all things lesbian” think they can tell people they don’t like a word because of internalised homophobia. Pisses me off. I don’t like the word-I prefer gay men and gay women-, and I know why I don’t like the word even as I use it when describing gay women in writing. IRL I will tell people I’m gay. Culture changes and people need to get used it it. We don’t have to be attached to a word because someone tells us it’s history that we ought to embrace. I know the way in which the word came into being and I am no more attached to it than invert. They were labels given to us. Homosexual people actually chose the word gay, which is why I prefer it. People are welcome to love a word chosen for them by professionals because of the source referenced but I don’t have to.
@Madison Heights This is an amazing way at looking at it! I never managed to put into words a way of saying why or really coming up with something to back up my preference for using "gay woman". Thanks
@@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS I agree about choosing a description rather than being described. 'Lesbian' kind of sounds like "nudge, wink, from that certain Greek island, know what I mean?" But that's just my take. I'll respect the choices other folks make.
Mattea is the weird neighbor who pops over for tea and asks for sugar.
Okay but Mattea is so thoughtful by staying what STI/D means and saying "some people might not know what that means"
The STID sounds like a health card you have in your wallet
The grape segment had me crying with laughter. Your collective chemistry is unhinged and unmatcheeeed
As a bisexual woman who is dating a man, I can confirm that it doesn't stop my bisexuality.
Exactly 👏.
At the end of the day you have to stay true to one person and one person only and that is yourself. 💙
so true!
also as a bisexual woman who never dated a woman, i can confirm that it doesn't change my bisexuality either haha
100000%
👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💯 same! I just commented very similar too. I’ve been with my husband for 16 years. Thankfully he’s secure enough in himself that I’ve never felt like I’ve needed to hide my sexuality in any way and I’m just as bi today as I was the day we met.. I just so happened to have fallen for a man instead of a woman.. that’s it.. ❤
Hello! This time I wanted to thank Mak, Alayna and Ashley. I started university recently and been with a lot of family responsibilities, a lot of anxiousness, fear and depression. But i had the mentality of "not bad enough to get diagnosed" or "you will just waste therapy time". But ever since i started watching you guys I started realizing all the different ways therapy can help me and how can I access it. Today is my second appointment with my therapist and I can actually feel the change. Thank you so much for all three of you who accompany me in this ✨journey✨ (take a shot)
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Therapy is so helpful and it’s such a big step to start!
You go, Jess. Therapy, is a gift, and needed by EVERYONE. I'm excited for your journey. The best is yet to come, sweetheart. 💖
That's amazing!! This podcast is awesome, and I'm so glad they help break so many stigmas and encourage things like therapy. Does anyone have any recommendations for how long I should go to a therapist before I leave to try a new one? I've had 3 or 4 appointments so far and don't feel like it's been helping, but I'm not sure how much time it usually takes or if I'm the problem instead of my therapist
@@x13Mango13x Acclimating to a therapist is similar to other relationships in that it takes time to build the rapport. It’s not odd AT ALL to not see massive life altering changes after 3-4 sessions. Think of it like exercise, not medicine. It takes time. ❤️ If you’re like 6 months in and see no changes and don’t trust/feel comfortable with your therapist then I’d ask for a new one. Don’t ghost your therapist 🥲 (I’ve done it)
Ashley, i don’t think we were interested in how you switched from computer science to comedy because we thought you had to chose between two passions, but because we wanted to know what made you go after your dreams as hard as you do because many of us are apprehensive to go after our own! Its always inspiring to hear some one else who has completely changed their life around so we can remember no matter how far we’ve gone in one direction, we can chose something different. We can chose to better ourselves, and we can chose to do what we actually freaking enjoy! As always, thanks for sharing. 👏🏼
It’s literally never been phrased that way to me, thanks for clarifying!
@@ashgavs well while i cant speak to the people in your physical environment, surely some who know you from your content and comedy are wondering for this reason! Thanks for reading💕
Mak’s background is giving teenage brother vibes. Between the crumpled government documents, the couch in disarray and subtle brag of the RUclips plaque…she really nailed it.
A good way to ask for someones STI/STD status, is for you to volunteer that information about yourself first. e.g. "I've been tested" or "My last test was _________ (2 mths ago or whatever) and I got all the clear, so I just wanted to let you know that before anything happens. How about you?"
For the actual tests, your GP can do most of them. I understand you might feel awkward bringing that up, though (especially when going through actual sexual practice questions). If you go to a sexual health clinic however, they know that you're there for that. Everyone is.
I respect how hard Ashley is constantly plugging her podcast😂
Also, 18mo is not too old to breastfeed. It's milk and it's free 🤷
Agreed, 18 months is still a baby!
I came out as lesbian, and then my fiancé told me that he was a trans man. It was really hard for me at first because I only got five months as a lesbian in the community. I was raised devout, Mormon we both were. Like serve the mission and everything. it was really hard for me to feel like me being with a trans man invalidated my queerness, so I love her talking about her experience.
Hi! As an ex-mormon non-binary person I just wanted to say that you are seen and the struggle is real!
You actually got Mattea on the show! Awesome! This podcast is the best thing to wake up to on a Wednesday.
Please bring Mattea back for a future episode. Having all four of you together was gold! 😂
mak: *goes on very important and emotional rant about the queer community on TikTok*
ashley the second mak mentions TikTok: *stares into camera as though she's on the office*
Hearing Mak being called Makayla is wild 😂
The whole "get a little house in the woods, get some cats. Just you and me against the world." That was the single most gratifying comment I have ever heard and I have never felt like a bigger lesbian than I do right now. Thank you for that. 👏 #goals
27:37 ASHLEY looking straight into the camera with a done vibe, i felt it in my soul and she was literally on the same room as me
I feel like having Mattea regularly on the show would make the podcast even better cause she represents alot of people in the community and she's thoughtful and hilarious.
I had no idea I would relate to Mattea this much. Im still in highschool and the amount of pressure I feel/felt (I learned to handle it better) to come out, put a label on myself and make it a big deal is huge, even from people I love and not only love me back but are supportive and even part of the lgbtq+ community. Thanks for this podcast, for being so open and vulnerable it helps a lot!
Ashley: "Have you gone on any dates with women?"
Mattea: "Technically yes but technically no"
This girl is 100% into girls, no further questions 🤣🤣🤣
So.... We keeping Mattea? She was excellent! I love how her mind works. It's almost scary, what are we going to get here? KABOOM! Chaos and brilliance.
Came for the chosen family, stayed for the grapes to 🐱 pipeline !!🍇😉😂
Hey besties! Y’all have become my new favorite podcast within the past two days and I’m so glad to have a gay family here!
Wasn't expecting a Community Channel shout out, that brought back some great memories 🥲 I hope Natalie is happy
Agreed! I loveee communitychannel
I really appreciate this episode and Mattea sharing her thoughts about coming out. I am a 31 year old cis woman who is married to a man, and though I've always known I've had an attraction to women, I've never officially "come out" (until now, I guess) because I didn't want to feel like or be accused of being a fraud because I'm married to a man. Thankfully the people who know I'm queer, including my husband, are incredibly supportive and validating. Surrounding yourself with the right people makes all the difference. I think you've got some good people in your corner, Mattea.
I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN I SAW MATTEA omg thank you all so much for this podcast. I get so happy about it every week ♥️
Her plants in the background make me want to marry her
Totally caught off guard by the Natalie Tran reference! Absolutely love her comedy, and this podcast.
As a 24 yearold Bi woman, I relate to Mattea's feelings of not having a very solid community. Growing up, it was difficult to find friends who were actually comfortable with my sexuality. Gay, or straight; I've always felt like I have to hold a part of myself back depending on who I'm talking to. I've been out for 9 years, and people still call me a closeted lesbian or a straight girl just "experimenting"😪
This podcast is one of the few internet things that give me genuine joy these days.
That is the saddest thing I've ever said.
Ashley is such an amazing, honest, mature person.
In one word, RARE.
Y'all are officially a part of my routine... Wednesday lunch with my gay fam :)
Same!! I watch this podcast every morning, getting ready for work! Then finish it when I get home 😂
Same!
SO glad you are bringing up the challenges of feeling acceptance from the community as a bi person who is with the opposite gender person. I struggle with this so much and really want more queer friendships and community.
"What kind of grape content?"
"Green grapes content!?"
🤣🤣🤣
This is so so healing!!! I have had a fear of STI's for so long, but just hearing Ashley talk about how common and normal and okay it is is so good for me. 💕 This is so nice to hear that there are options and solutions if it does happen. Just the energy of the way Ashley talks about this is so relieving 😌
This show has brought me so much comfort. There is so much going on in the world and so much legislation that's gunning for drag shows and trans rights (I live in Kentucky), and this show has made me feel at home and safe in public spaces when I'm just not comfortable. Thank you so much for providing this space and continuing to make content.
I love how this podcast keeps getting longer 😉
Oh it was great to see Mattea on here! What an extra fun episode! Ashley right out of the gates with a conversion therapy joke- OMG! You and Alayna- y’all were totally on point with that bit and that was before Mak as her sister’s “agent” got Mattea on there so I knew it would be doubly good! Then Mattea gets on and I’m laughing so hard that my family can tell I was watching something funny from three rooms away! 😆😆 I was sooo excited to see this episode drop this morning! I have a chronic pain condition and lots of rain have made my pain flare even worse. So, after such a rough night, it cheered me up sooo much to see a new video had popped up! Loving this podcast sooo much! 🎉🎉
i loved the section where mattea talked about not wanting to label herself in case people attack her for changing it. i think a lot of women get confused about their sexuality and "go back to straight" like this actually happens a lot not just bi women dating men like literally mistaking their sexuality and i think a lot of gay women are messed up from it. i have empathy for women that dont get believed that theyre gay/attracted to women, but you have to remember that this confusion does actually happen a lot and straight women take advantage of gay women *all* the time. female sexuality is physically so elusive so its important to be compassionate with eachother. if theyve been burned so many times it makes sense they have their guard up 🧡
Mattea killed it on this episode!
This has to be one of my favourite episodes so far. I died from laughter. I love the dynamic with the trio and Mattea.
Also worth noting that I was engaged to a man at 27 years old and he left me because I slept with my best girl friend. Realizing I’m gay. You’re not alone Alayna ♥️ you actually really helped me through all of this
And when I told someone I went to high school about it, she told me she thought I was gay for the past 10 years and was like “why were you with him?” 😂
You girls are making literally the best podcast like of all time. This is a fact, I absolutely adore everything!!!
The grapes is hilarious! Every time I see a scraggly dog on the street I name it RUPERT🤣🤣🤣🤣
This episode is hilarious. I’m watching it at 2am and cracking up in bed.
I relate so much to Mattea. I’m 52 and married to a man, live in a small town and am totally gay. I’m out to him and a few friends. I feel gayer and gayer every day and am struggling with it. I don’t want the label because I don’t want to deal with the scrutiny on both sides.
I really relate to Mattea. I'm bi/pan/whatever. I also don't really put a label on it. However I'm in a hetero, monogamous marriage. I rarely disclose how I identity while meeting new people unless they stick around long enough in my life because some people just think you're lying, or confused, or want to be "trendy". And then I feel bad for taking up *any* space in the queer community because of my relationship status. When I'm looking inward it seems so simple: Yes, I'm in a hetero marriage. Yes, I find/found myself attracted to all sorts of different people throughout my life. Like those are my undeniable truths. It shouldn't be so complicated but it still feels like it is.
Thank you!!!! I’m also a pan women who doesn’t like labels and has been in a Hetero relationship for almost 10 years.
I use to not use the labels bc I thought it didn’t matter.
Then my uncle came out and even though his experience in our family as a gay man is different.. I didn’t want our family to think being gay is uncommon or weird or that he’s the odd one out.
My parents were chill with it; my boyfriend is okay with it; all my friends know so I don’t feel the need to tell everyone I meet bc it’s not the focal point of my life.
Yet, I also understand that being in a straight relationship makes my experience “easier” than other gay people who do not have an “option”. But, that’s not why I’m with a straight man, it just happened so idk why I also feel the need to not include/impose myself onto the gay community as if I’m not “gay enough”.
And the gay friends I have don’t care I’m in a straight relationship so why do I think the community does? Like it’ll discount my personal experience or something.
It’s a internal challenge for sure.
Oh my, it's a great episode! "Baby Gay Ticktoker meets The Gang", it was so sweet, I loved it! There were episodes when your connection felt not that natural, but the more videos you make, the better is the chemistry between you all. Thank you for everything you do!
Ashley, I am continuously inspired by you. I’m so happy I somehow found your podcast a year ago. It’s been a tough one, and your content has been a great gift.
I’m the one (or one of the people, if there were more) who asked about your transition from programming to stand-up. Thank you for getting into it, even though you seemed a bit uncomfortable with it, and thank you to Alayna for all of the well-phrased questions. (Alayna, you have a magical gift for making people open up). Ashley’s story helped me feel better about a lot of stuff. Especially what she said about not letting yourself be your full/real self. I’ve spent the past 8 years getting a Master’s degree in biotech (chronic pain prolonged the process sooooo much) and even though I’m so proud of the achievement and also incredibly interested in the field, I’m also a bit frustrated with myself for going the safe route and trying to mould my creative side into something that fit within society's accepted boxes. I’ve written books since I was 6 and have worked hard to get published since I was 16 - yet to no avail. And it’s tough. Sometimes it feels like an impossible battle, and I honestly must be a bit insane at this point to keep going (I'm 28). I’m a bit angry sometimes that I went the safe route and took a scientific degree instead of just jumping into the deep end and figuring things out. But then, you do need bread on the table. Maybe this WAS the right choice. Maybe I'll have some important experiences as a biotech engineer that will really help my creativity. I’ll never know. All I can do is move forward.
What I DO know is that listening to you talk about how you were 26 and made the leap and how you tried out different things and struggled with being bad at it - it’s so inspiring, and it really makes me want to keep having a go at the things I’m bad at (or too afraid to throw myself into). Gotta keep believing! I mean, really, we’re on this earth for decades. 26 is not old. Neither is 30. We should spend the time doing what we're gifted at. And it’s never too late to get started (or for the fruits of years’ of labor to finally drop).
I loved having mattea on! Also Rachel Ballenger is close friends with Jojo so she could probably get Jojo on the podcast and I. know ashley had rachel on recently- Jojo is amazing
Ashley, I nursed my children until 3. Most cultures breastfeed until much later than the USA. My children are 22 months apart and they nurses for months together.
I love how ashley and alayna embrace gen z are kind and understanding this cycle of criticism and Hati g new generations ends with us.
after hearing so much about Mattea, glad to know shes exactly as fun as they say 👌👌
When Mattea is around ..she would definitely manages to bring laughter on our faces 🌻
I'm dying laughing! So much riffing in this one. I fully believed Alayna about the banana request. Can't wait to look up the (n Mak's ASMR voice) *Grape Content*
im so happy to hear your voices right now
I love how respectful you all are
It's a week since last Wednesday and I am awake and caffeinated excited for today's episode coming out in 5 minutes. 😁
Mak! Such a Knight in Shining Armor!!! Way to speak out!
I'm the same way. I was the only kid in high school when everybody was chanting fight, fight, fight, who would speak up and say hey I think they deserve the right to know, then it was crickets... because as soon as they talked about it, there was no longer aggression. People we speak up for and advocate for remember us for that.
I do want to mention one other thing which I learned through the wisdom of experience. I had a Foster child when I lived in Las Vegas around 2008 to 2011. My child was a trans boy. We had talks about bullies a lot. I said the sad thing is with his stories from school is that everybody sees bullying and then they turn around and they bully the bulliers. They believe it is not still bullying that way. I told him he was courageous enough and empathetic enough to understand what I meant by this and how to lead by his own example . I told him to reach out to the bullies from a place of love. He asked me how do I do that? I told him, when you see people bullying and ganging up on the bullies (getting mad at them for bullying you), you just stick up for them also, but from that position of love and compassion. I clearly remember the day he ran home from school and told me that it works! I love the memories we were able to share for the short time in one anothers' lives.
He ended up making most of his very closest friends by sticking up for those bullies who used to make his life a living hell. They all become best friends and better people because of his example. They started a band and were the most popular kids in their school and they didn't care that they were. He was the coolest kid I've ever known and he taught me more than I believe I taught him.
P.S. Love your Granny 'NanaGrams' 💕 (Edit to delete typo fat fingers haha, and P.S.)
Me - why can’t Mattea be Mak’s younger sister in the chosen fam and irl? Like family isn’t blood but you can still choose your blood family to be family. . . Right?
Seriously tho I loved this pod I was cracking up and learned a lot about BV. ❤
@Lisa de Bruin same here 😊
10:53 "dad" telling a funny story and "mom" staring into her eyes playing with her hair....good to know mom and dad are still in love lol.
YAY😍😍😍😍😍 THE WHOLE FAMILY!!! I'm sending so much love around each one of you! And Thank You! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For always making me smile (especially during difficult times) for being your authentic selves and being vulnerable❤❤❤💞💞💞 I love you all🥰
just fyi, THIS PODCAST is why i got tickets to see Ashley's show
Thank you Ashley for sharing a bit about your transition from CS to comedy. I recently realized that I'm gay and I'm trying to switch careers from software to art. I totally relate to feeling like you've just been neglecting your true self. It sucks knowing you dedicated so much time to something you know isn't right for you. I'm still working through things, but I'm taking steps to get to where I want to be. It's worth it!
It was bubbling up before but at 13:19 “green grape content” I finally lost it.
Miles McKenna needs to be a guest on here, the energy and variety of experience would be iconic
!!!!
Half way in and sooo glad Mattea has joined us for the episode. 💕💕
Having a gay family here make me happy even tho i can't understand some word your saying and English in not my first language but im still smiling thank you for this podcast.
You have gay family all over the world I hope you know. ❤❤
@@brak1615 now i know thank you.
6:01 I don't know what it is but this silent comedy by Mak got me good 👏
Mattea is so naturally funny. This episode was great
3:10 "Trigger warning: slurp." Lol I heard it as "trigger warning: slur" and I was like, what where?? haha
this episode was amazing. as usual, many important conversations and ways you all contribute that mean so much. thank you guys 🖤🖤
The fact that Alayna just to start her videos talking about her journey of figuring out her sexuality and then Matt just being so clueless about it 🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's adorable that you guys fed together.
You usually should stop with the milk in any form by 2 but everyone is different. Usually as long as they are off by the time they go to school, it's "normal"
when mak mentioned the hate jojo gets like i 100% agree!!!
Just putting it out there that breastfeeding at 18 months is so normal! In the US, it's a lot of times not even an option, but in most countries nursing is normal for several years. My fifth baby (yes, five 🤣) is still nursing, and she will be two in April! I love the bonding, and if she ends up gay I'll just consider it another perk. 🤣🤪
😊 the breastfeeding comment shocked me! I bf my 1st till 2 when he self weaned as I was pregnant with no.2 who is still feeding at 20months. Research & history suggests age 5 was a normal age to stop bf. And I want to say well done to mummy Ingemi for tandem feeding 🥳 that s**t is celebration worthy!
This just keeps getting better and better. All of you ladies are truly amazing! I laugh till my sides hurt. Thank you so much. I would like to see more of Mattea too. You guys just click together. Love you lotz.
Woah woah yeah!!! Yall are so cool, best trio ever
I do agree with deleting tik tok though, moto community was so nice and supportive but now they hate on others and others bikes. Everyone thinks they have power because no one can see them behind that screen. Were so addicted to the internet in some bad ways it drives some insane or just become a menace now.
Mattea is so nice you should definitely have her on the podcast more I’ve also been waiting for you guys to have mattea on the podcast💗
The part where Ashley talks about repressing herself as an artist is so relatable!!!!
I think it’s way smarter for kids and young adults to not label themselves prematurely like Mattea was going for. There’s too much stress and pressure in terms of potentially “changing”, be it online or real life. Give them (or yourself) time, they’ll figure it out.
Y’all are so funny around 11:00 minutes when Mak is talking directly to us she looks into the camera and goes “ listener you asked for this “ I fucking died 🤣😊
Mattea brought an amazing level of chaos that I was ill prepared for
This is now my favorite episode.
I woke up and before my eyes even finished dilating I was looking for this! I just needed something to look forward to 🥰
I have two siblings that are eighteen months away in age from me in each direction and I wish I was as close to them as you two are.
I'd love to hear you talk about PrEP too ❤maybe if a guest is familiar with it? And yes to Lorals! Also boric acid suppositories can work great for preventing BV - if you already have it see a healthcare provider. For that or a yeast infection you can generally do virtual care of availabile to you but if you get recurrent uti's it's a good idea to go in to get a urine culture right away so your doctor knows what antibiotic to treat with. You should always feel like you can ask someone you're thinking of getting intimate with when they were last tested, when they last had a new partner / if they have current partners & whether they ask partners about testing / what their safer intimacy practices are - if you aren't ready yet it might be a good idea to spend more time getting comfy with each other.
I haven't been watching the podcast for the last month because ~life and work happened in the way, but when I saw that was a episosed with Mattea I just watched 4 of them in a row and boy............. IT WAS WORTH IT
please never stop doing what you're doing right now. all the talks are incredibly important AND fun as hell, but this one adds as someting else. you're all marvelous people.
((((((and if i said anything wrong, just i'm sorry, but english is not my first language)))))))
It’s so funny that you guys mentioned Matt Rife last week, and I’ve never seen the guy before, and then the first video on my TikTok feed after I watched that podcast episode, was a Matt Rife video… he’s actually kind of funny 😅
Mak acting out being an agent is so goooood 😂😂😂
Omg I’ve been waiting for this one! And it got posted on my birthday too :)
Happy Birthday 🥳🎉
@@mariannetfinches thank youu 😊
Just......Thanks. Love having Mattea there with you guys.
Hi Guys what a great episode today lots of laughter and some very good conversation about a subject thats should be talked about more well done everybody can't wait till next episode
Random comment but I loved how it happened just this night considering Wednesday is your guys' upload day. I was having a dream with you three + Main babes. I don't know what she looks like exactly, I only know she's fluent in Spanish (correct me if I'm wrong) and has long, brown hair. It was supposed to be my birthday and my mother texted you guys to come over. You did actually come, which I didn't know about, and it put a lot of pressure on me to make this trip worthwhile since you guys just travelled for hours for my birthday. The set up was really strange, my house felt like one of those eerie horror movie houses, like something bad is going to happen. I remember you three standing in my hallway, while Main babes was actually now Lena Dunham, running to the kitchen naked. I ended up inviting another person I knew from my old classes and told Alayna that I invited that woman because she reminds me of Canada..because she once told me she had an online friend from Canada. Main Babes (Lena Dunham) was kind of being rude to me, talking about my conversative mother and how I need to get her ''under control'' or you will leave. To some extent she had a point, but actually my mother barely said anything to you so I felt lost at what to do. So because Mak has a very conservative father, I asked her to come to the kitchen so I can ask her for advice on what to do about my mother. Mak was being sympathetic, that's all I remember lol I then decided to take you out onto a fair, it was Canada themed. It was already really dark when we arrived and that's pretty much all I remember from that dream.
👏👏👏👏👏 thank you!! I’m bi and I just so happen to have married a man and there’s SO many times I wished more people thought like you guys do about it! I hate that my bisexuality doesn’t seem as valid to others just because I fell in love with a man instead of a woman when I’m just as bi today as I was 16 years ago when I met my husband. I just got very lucky that I met a man who is secure enough in himself that I’ve never felt like I needed to hide my sexuality..
Laughed super hard! Love y’all ❤
I just binge watched all of these and I love it, it's so interesting to hear about so many topics in the queer community and also you guys are so funny. AHH, I love you all.
FYI, Ashley: I breastfed all four of my kids into their 2s. It’s totally normal and ok.
I was looking for a comment like that, thanks! Yeah it's even recommended to breast feed for two yrs or longer! I'm doing it as well now :) and i love it
Definitely paused this to go check out Rupert. Just tell Mattea it’s normal to develop a love/hate relationship with your art…
Ashley, thank you so much for talking about laurels and your experience with it. ❤ Really great chosen family topic cause people don’t talk about it enough.
Also I was literally crying laughing when Mattea said, “I tHoUgHt yOu WeRe gAy” to Alayna and I’m at work and didn’t even care, just told my boss what I was laughing at… 😂
And then I was actually crying when Mak said they see our messages because I’ve unsent like 5 messages to Ashely and 2 to Alayna. 😂 Not hate, just like, genuinely talking to them from a place of love and then I panic and unsend it within 12 hours. 😂
And I’ll say this part in a comment whereas I would usually feel compelled to send it in a message and then unsend it but Mak, I hope you’re okay. It’s clear that you feel passionately about trying to discourage negativity towards someone’s lifestyle or content choices and I just wanna say, keep doing you, boo. The people that don’t want to like it or want to be negative about something so pointless to be mad about have far, far more issues in life and I’m willing to bet that content is not what they’re actually mad about. Group think is a powerful tool for brainwashing and I’m proud of you guys for standing against it. Love all of you. ❤
I also grew up in southern Manitoba, as a Mennonite pastors daughter. I feel Alayna's conversion therapy jokes so much lmao 🤣
I googled Matt Rife last episode and now I'm getting videos of him in my recommended
Right!!! Me too, its so annoying. Every time his shorts come up i scroll as fast as possible so that algorithm snaps out of it
My TikTok algorithm has brought him into my life. Ashley is correct…he’s so not funny. Also…not attractive.
Me too lmao
Protect yourself from the algorithm! Browse in incognito/private mode!
Srsly mine's always on because I have ADHD & my search history reads like the shopping list of a taxidermist hitman with a cheese fixation
As a bisexual woman, I completely understand where mattea is coming from