✅ Get your Testosterone levels checked ASAP with this great kit by Let's Get Checked, here: trylgc.com/Stephan - Use coupon code LOVEHEALTH to get 20% off.
Because of my lack of self esteem in my relationships, I couldn't see the SIGNALS. (1) Shaming (2) Insulting (3) Guilting (4) Need to be right and (5) A Lack of empathy
I had a friend who was honestly one of the most selfish people I have ever met! She only thought of herself always, everything was about her. She didn’t only use men for what she could get but she actually uses women for what she can get too. But because she’s pretty people fall over themselves for her. Men really really need to look over looks when looking for a life partner and mother of their children. Looks don’t raise children, looks don’t look after you when you’re sick, looks don’t make someone loving, kind, or a great conversationalist. When your with someone a long period of time you stop even seeing their looks.
This is a narcissist. It's a great observation to notice how someone treats men and women alike, because narcissists are pretty equal in their lack of giving a shit about others. Female narcissists try to confuse or hide the matter often ostensibly by holding up the idea that they are feminists, or using a feminisit basis to argue their perspective against men. Don't ask me how I know.
Once someone disrespect you it's done, forgiving slaps forgiving disrespecting you calling you stupid too often, if you know your worth and you're a respectful person toward them don't be afraid to walk away, they will eventually regret it.
“You’re the man you’re supposed to do this for me” was something I heard every day. Glad she’s out of my life first day I have felt true peace within my own mind in a long time. No confusion, no walking on eggshells, no draining myself, and no self hatred, literally all these signs are what I have dealt with Wanted me to do every fucking thing and always sacrifice but she never had to feel or go through any discomfort. Something was seriously wrong.
🎉🎉 get out of there brother.. trust me. They make you fall hard and play with your emotions. They want to waste your time because their lives are useless.
Are you sure though? Hard to see oneself objectively. Whatb if she waas so starved from getting from you that she exaggerated the demands at last? Was she wrong? And who were you to start with her at all, shouldn't you have looked and vetted and had borders? Is it all her fault like you make it out to? Just asking. An unhappy emotionally neglected woman may hjave got too tired and depressed to give . I wish you had seen a counsellor, or12 step program work. And hear her side too. - All the best onwards!
@@Medietos I have my faults too and we both have sides where we make each other drained to do for the other but after counseling she has admitted to having these unrealistic expectations and not seeing how privileged she is.
There are a lot of important key points in here. And as a woman who wasn’t healed I have been controlling. It definitely stems from lack of security and belief you need to create your own safety net. To be in a relationship with a selfish person leads to one sidedness which cancels out any love that could exist with that person. Thank you for another great video Stephan
I relate this to my ex. She was a good friend but we were never a team. I was exhausted doing everything. She wasn't doing anything to make my life easier, and when I mentioned it to her, she would not get it. I attracted a person with very low self esteem in my life at that time.
It blows my mind how some men put up with what they have to put up with for so long. My buddy had probably the worst girlfriend i have ever seen and he finally just said enough is enough. She moved into his place and a few weeks later quit her job. He was paying for everything while still having to do errand running like you mentioned. All of this going on while shes getting child support from another man. Single mother. I was proud of him after he said enough was enough. He lost almost 25 lbs due to stress and negligence. After 2 years he finally called a moving truck and had her move out. Hes doing much better now. Thanks for this video.
I feel like this also helps as a guide on what to look out for when making female friends even. I was getting to know a new friend until one day she told me the awful things she would do to her roommate when she got mad at her. Immediately I was like.. I need to end this friendship now 😬
I was paying my girl bill we not married.. I was like I do this bc I love you but she said that’s what you supposed to do instead of saying I’m very thankful for paying the bills… So we don’t get kicked out..
Im 47 and just got out of 7 month relationship with a lady a few years younger. The more i tried to cater to her wants and needs and treat her with kindness and respect it wasn't enough. I own my house, good job and women will say tberes no good black men out here. I just give up.
It hurts when your doing your all and it’s blinded because of the hurt she’s been thru… Without her noticing what she’s doing it’s just pure chaos, one sided, and the past that never happened keeps replaying…
I was selfish in my marriage! I was selfish in general! And because his behaviour and mistakes were 'bigger' and many,it didn't allowed me to see my flaws!After separation I started to decode my behaviour without taking his and his mistakes in consideration and I discovered many mistakes of mine and also I started to discover me and where I stand.
Do you think your mistakes could have compounded to make his mistakes more likely/ probable. I ask this innocently and without malice. I have looked back at my marriage and I can see where mistakes contributed to a toxic environment but also I don’t think that justifies the other persons course of action.
@@dicerevo no. I made mistakes but I wanted to reconcile and to grow and learn and love together. But where isn't love, everything is worthless. Both he and I lack love and respect for eachother and also we dont't like eachother. I married him because I got pregnant at 19 with him after 1 week of seeing eachother. 2 selfish people who didn't love eachother together for 14 years, I'm telling you that the kid took all the debris
What's crazy is during a relationship check up I addressed how she had a "me me me" mentality and I continued to go through it thinking it would change.
Most of this video was my experience. It got to the point that I realized my ex wasn’t healed and was operating from the experience of past trauma. I came into the relationship confident in myself and of what I wanted. I tried my absolute best to reassure her and stick it out hoping that one day things would change even though it started to feel like it wasn’t the best for me. I saw signs earlier in the relationship but after a year it slowly started to fall apart. Unfortunately things did not change for the better and she was unable to see how her mindset and behavior was chipping away at myself and our potential. Another year to year and a half later it ended with us both being hurt.
Man great insight thanks for sharing. I'm just coming out of a 10 yr marriage with a woman that never healed from her past as well plus in addition has 3 daughters also not healed and got man trauma. Long story short I got the wrath of it for 10 yrs. And now I'm moving on. I hope you are doing better now also
Currently going through this now with my wife of two years and the person I’m married to now is not the woman I married. I don’t know what else to say or do. I had to put myself in therapy to try and cope and problem solve on how to power through this. But it don’t sound like I’ll be able to do anything else.
Recently seperated from my second wife. It took 8 years of me being discounted. I am a Marine combat vet with ptsd. Other medical issues have come up and i stopped getting support emotionally. She started seeing someone two months before the separation and actually thought i wouldnt find out. Well until she posted her new relationship on facebook. I know now what was happening. You have spot on points i wish i realized earlier. I love this video.
I enjoy jumping over to the men’s channel and looking at these types of videos, making sure I don’t fall into the category lol God is good! Great points 👍🏾
My ex was selfish. I will NEVER again be with a selfish woman. I know what it feels like. I cannot trust such women anymore and the only reason why I trusted selfish women is because I didn't know how to trust. I will only give my heart to women that are considerate and are givers. Women that actually enjoy giving because it's who they are to want to please a man.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that and pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
This is true I ended up briefly with a woman that embodied all five of these traits. And it is true there are just many narcissist women as there are men. The problem I feel that our community doesn't properly address this is because we are taught to overlook a woman's toxic behavior as being something due our fault or the tired anecdote of a woman is allowed to be emotional because she is a woman. The first sign I realized mine was toxic was how she treated her baby daddy. Now I know some lames gonna not agree with this next statement but if a father is providing for his children, regardless of what you or her think it is supposed to be and she is denying that communication and bond between the father and children...she is trash. And it will happen to you eventually.
Man, you have no idea how healing and strengthening this is for me. Especially the point about controlling, I have a tendency to allow women to do this with me without realising. Thanks for the video! Subscribed and liked. I'm definitely going to be watching more of your content
At this point I need to stay by myself because I went above and beyond for a woman until I was broke.When the relationship ended I was seriously drained.I just need to heal.
The solution for us men in dealing with modern women is to put them through a probation period which could last from a minimum of a 1 year to 3 years, during this time your job is monitor her performance which should consist of consistency of character, selflessness, respect you consistently, willing to follow your lead etc, if after the probation and you are satisfied with her performance then you take it to the next level and start discussing things further.
Good for you! That's right, take time to heal yourself, you'll be glad you did. At any rate, a lot of ppl fail to do that...take time to heal themselves, that's why they go from one dysfunctional relationship to another.
I'm headed in the same direction... coming up.in a year.and she still with the same.bad ways and words..and nothing I ever do is good enough, she doesn't see she does any wrong, she hits me deep with hateful words and gives.me.nothing when I already have enough negative on-going but meanwhile I have improved her life and is ungrateful for it when all wanted to do is give her love and things she never had and treatment she deserves or never got from the exes who broke her to what she is now! I am breaking mentally and need help!
@@josephrod5903if she willingly crosses your boundaries leave her now. With women like that you never know how far that petty vindictive nature can go because it stems from a lack of self control and empathy. Protect your LIFE, this woman cares little for you and you just didn’t know how to prove it. Your probably losing money d8ing her too, and she’s gonna rip every last dollar she can out of you to get you back for irritating her. When you voice your frustration she’s gonna use it to get mad at you, then she’ll try and use you until she doesn’t feel like it anymore. Don’t let this happen please
THANK YOU for this. You have no idea how restorative and optimistic it makes someone feel when they hear something like this after coming from a relationship with someone who's extremely selfish and who constantly complained and devalued them. I honestly thought I was alone-a lot of my friends even said it wasn't an issue even though I thought it was from very early on. So, thank you brother, keep doing what you do.
I got called selfish with my ex. That was in 2017. I gave that relationship, my all. I haven't dated since, now I can't be bothered. I am happy just living my life for God, and to be honest, now I do things for myself only. Now I am a full-time live-in carer for the elderly, I love my job, I have more money than I have ever had, and my career is advancing. I could actually end up nursing or as a paramedic. I will never date again. Absolutely no interest!
You're an amazing speaker man, honestly the way you communicate is impressive and it sure helps me to understand things from another perspective. (I listen to both of your channels). You're really needed, please keep doing what you're doing.
When anyone attacks or manipulates you out of the pain they’ve experienced of their past relationships, it may not be because they have anything personal on you, But they make it personal by making you feel attacked or threatened.
Shiiiiit haha I couldn't have gotten this video at a better time. Such a tough pill to swallow. Great chemistry, easy to be with her, similar interests, soft spoken, to me she's pretty. But gosh darn I started seeing the signs. She's the youngest and the princess of the family. Always had her way in the world. I can't compete with her own self! I don't really want to split but I can't live like this for the rest of my life! Real love and marriage is about compromise. I'm a patient person and I lead by example but you can only take so much. Thanks for the video! God bless.
Im was also dating a princess of the family and guess what, I have the same experience as you do. The funny thing is that we put up with these toxic behaviors to a point they way us down. Just because we were told to be men and act strong.
I like the part where he says that we shouldn't hold onto negative emotions towards those who hurt us because their actions has nothing to do with us but them
Thank you Stephan for these snippets! Your book Love after Heartbreak, walked me through one of my most painful chapters of life. Combine that with therapy & Deida's The Way of the Superior Man, I walked different. Damn sure filtered different. Helped me find her, and it's been an amazing ride so far. God bless you man!
MOST younger to middle aged women today are very self-aware. Damn straight they are. They are aware of what they want and how they want to be taken care of. Yet, they completely lack the awareness of what it is to take care of a man. To be an actual partner. This is the biggest issue of the age and why most men are choosing to leave relationships alone and concentrate on themselves. It's that simple.
Let Me put it in a different way (and you can use this for ANY relationship) - No empathy. Lack of character. Entitlement. Lack of appreciation. Doesn't show that you're valued. Lack of respect. Refuses to heal. Mindset of you and me vs. US. Doesn't really care baout much because it's all abou them. Zero recisoprosity. Negativeity. No accountibility. Solution: I'll quote a song "...let's just kiss and say Goodbye." And HEY - DONT LOOK BACK.
Everything is energy. Everything is vibrating. We must come to the realization that we attract what we are. Our physical reality is a reflection of how we are feeling within us. If we are attracting people who are making us feel less then, maybe we should ask ourselves… How am I making myself feel now? Am I there for myself now? Am I raising my vibration now? The moment we become kinder, more sensitive and develop intimacy with our own self, we attract this energy to us like a magnet. We must become what we want to attract and how we want to be feeling, then recognizing our beautiful qualities, emphasizing and bring these qualities out in others. Inner peace, world peace.
This sounds like this new-agy mambo jambo with this love-yourself-more paradigm which ultimately is self-serving and leads to exactly the selfishness Stephan is talking about. yoga girls are the most selfish women I came across . Take themselves extremely important with this energy and vibration bs and all that. „Die to self“ and hand your will over to Christ . Very unpopular and unsexy I know and it takes effort. Don’t make yourself an idol nor the other , serve god and others - easier said than done but worth pursuing.
It’s always easier said than done but you never know a person's true intentions until you fully know them over the time of interacting with them which usually take 5 months to a year before thinking about stepping into a long-term relationship well at least for me I usually take that long before I commit.
@@tramayneharris7044 Absolutely 🌺 When we know who we are, we can begin practicing protecting our energy so we can become more consistent with our vibration, therefore being consistent on vibrating on the same frequency of witch we will be attracting. It’s always best to take our time sometimes, it becomes less overwhelming and we are able to see the action. Because actions speaks louder than words, Much love ❤️
There's another kind of person that we should avoid. The one who settles for you because you're a good catch. Especially when they are willing to sacrifice your chances of finding the right person so that they can have you for themselves. It's like locking you in a pumpkin shell so to speak.
Yo, that was my relationship. Once I woke up and she wasn't satisfied anymore. She was gone like Elroy said on Next Friday 😂😂😂 I can laugh about it now, but man, when I didn't have my girls under the same roof, killed me.
@@Nolaboy17I know EXACTLY what you mean bro! When she took my 7month old twin girls from under my roof of love and protection, I felt a pain for years, that I STILL can’t believe I’m not deceased from….💔💔❤️🩹
Stephen, I recently purchased your book, "love after heart break" and I have to Say that, my jaw has yet to return from dropping to the floor. Truly a God sent book! I'm just read it. And I'm gonna keep reading it over and over. Life saving perspectives. Everything you have discussed in this video and book, pretty much has described my relationship and my past traumas. What really grieved me thought, I wished that I had known about your RUclips channel and the books you've written before my relationship was doomed. My, now, Ex after 12 years has gone into NC, for 21 days now. And she's cold as ice. Definitely something every for couples to work on together, as well as individuals.
That's why I do not condone paying for everything. When you don't earn things,you see no value in it. Women are helpmeets. If the man needs or requests help paying,they should.
I never had a voice to control anything or anyone in my past relationships. They were abuser. I stayed because I was taught to stay. I always did for them even when they hurt me. I'm still on my healing journey. I'm learing and growing so much. Thank you, Stephan for continuing to teach me!❤ I was thinking yesterday that I wish I had my parents instill this knowledge in me at a young age. Then I realize it had to happen this way. I just want to live to please GOD. It's hard healing and going through what I'm going through. I'm just taking one day at a time.🙏🏽
*If she expects you to always cater to her without any consideration for your needs or boundaries, she’s taking advantage of your generosity. A healthy relationship is about both partners lifting each other up, not one draining the other.*
Stephen, I love that you were always so loving and kind and always come from a strong place. I love your advice. one time I went on a date with a man where he took me out to dinner on the first date. I was so impressed and happy, but to be honest, I don’t think I said “thank you” out loud to him even though I was definitely appreciative. I think I was so nervous and afraid to jinx anything. at the very end of the date, I did tell him thank you for picking me up and taking me out. but this all goes to say for men to give the girl a second chance if she didn’t say thank you on the first date! She may have been nervous, and in her head! now whenever my boyfriend takes me to dinner I tell him thank you so much because it really does make me happy and he always says to me, “thank you for being so thankful” because apparently there’s a lot of women who aren’t.
The last point hit so hard! I am taking notes from certain video's to help our relationship and in this specific video the woman said that you need to let your partner watch this video, if they don't watch it to better the relationship then you deserve better. I told her this specific stuff and she just got mad, she knows the can't keep up with this and rather stays lazy, I almost walked out of the situation because I asked her if she can name things I've improved after our first conflict, she said little to nothing, I opened the door of the car where we were speaking and attempted to walk away and say it's over but then she said come back I didn't mean it like that. Stephan says this exactly right, she sees that you are putting in the effort and that makes her insecure, she doesn't want you to grow faster than her and she doesn't want you to make her accountable for the situation of 2 people!
I wish I had this advice 😪 in my late teens, would have saved me a lot of grief, heartache and time! This man should be mentoring young boys from 16 on up! Will this generation 🙄 a lot 🤔 of heartbreak.
I think once you resolve certain issues that's when your ready to date. I was in a relationship where i realized we both had childhood traumas that made the dynamic as a couple unhealthy. Months after the breakup, I discovered I have CPTSD. I see relationships differently after that experience. I did love her and she wasn't the worst but I think I chose the wrong timing on my part and her part. The toxicity I don't miss but it's important to let a man breathe when he needs it. Many moments in that relationship put me in situations that triggered my issues of neglect and abuse from my growing years. After having these realizations, I admit that I'm discouraged about dating and now will approach things differently. This channel helps you see patterns that need to be addressed. God bless this channel. When I get back into dating, I'm going to watch this channel a lot again
First of all, I'm not going on a date if he isn't paying for it. I don't have a selfish bone in my body, but chivalry is very much alive in my life and is required for me to deal with ANY man!! I love to love, but I'm not compromising what I need. God got it.
Ive seen many men favor selfish women. I had a close friend (who i have now cut off after discovering how she treats people), and this girl is never single. Ive seen the way she treats her bfs and its really sad to see, but evidently men love to be treated that way, so i guess its a match made in heaven?
and where are all those bfs now? gone (for one reason on another)...now sit down, shut up and listen if you're actually looking for long term partner as opposed to being girlfriend
Wow, this is real-- especially the last part. I realized this woman I was dating was operating out of brokenness and would become "avoidant" when we got closer because she was scared to be vulnerable. We had a great spark/connection I could feel from the jump, but we both had stuff to work on. It sucks but I had to walk away. Although, I truly know I gave her my best so I don't feel bad. Just wish it would've turned out differently
Reflection time for sure! I appreciate your delivery. Many out there want to justify poor communication or poor behaviors and you seem to encourage ownership, repair, and maturity; thank you ❤.
Thanks for great insight as always. Like how you explained how alot of people are operating from brokenness. Been married 10 yrs. And my spouse always came accross entitled but I know now she is just not healed.
Selfish women need to be left alone. Let them die alone. Sooner or later they either wake up and change or end up in the grave 6 feet under the way she came.
I have a friend who recently told me his spouse threatened to baby trap him if he divorced her. They already have 2 kids. She told him she's not divorcing him and he feels helpless and trapped.
Described my relationship to a T. It's tough though because she's aware of it but so trapped by trauma and fear I might've just called her too early if it all.
The reason why I 💖💖💖 your ministry,, is because I can see how you are getting us all on the same page/What is relationship acceptable. Every family and raising is different, you bring comm 10:02 on ground with good sense. Thank you ❣️
I really appreciate you talking about the controlling woman. Im trying to figure out if I could build a valuable relationship with a woman who is very controlling. I figured out as you say that none of that is personal and that she misses something. Its sad that people can be very harsh towards each others cause I feel like she sees me as a savior. I really don't want that to begin with. I'm a deeply believer person and it is hard to move on and let her there. I have mixed feelings , I mean I genuinely function on utility, in the sense I could love her later if i figure out I did the right thing. Very hard mixed feelings I'm in right now.
dude...... why did this pop up after i was stuck for so long and cut the chords myself after the attempt to dehumanization. very sad since she was and is truly one of a kind
Many women keep jumping from relationship to relationship and need to completely heal first before they decide to bring that toxic behaviour into another relationship. #smh
If I had a dollar for every man I've known to ignore all the red flags until he was somehow "bound" to such a woman! Its heartbreaking to see soooo many men choose these type of women over considerate (i guess boring?) women and then have children with them!!!😩😢
I have a. question..for those of us women who are just genuine caring, givers and nurture people how do you stop from doing that tooooo soon for a man? Because men who are takers and users will take full advantage of your wanting to help make his life better in some capacity. I have been told to set boundaries for myself with people and not be so quick to help and in doing that men could see you as selfish because you are setting certain standards and barriers to protect your heart. Like a guy took me out on a date and I got him a nice thank you card with a slice of his favorite type of pie and he literally didn't even appreciate the gesture at all even though I was showing him I appreciated him
Don't take this personally. The card and slice of pie was too much. A thank you I had a good time..would have been more then enough. If it was the first date...that man may not have even been worth a card/ the slice of pie/ or any pie for that matter. I would suggest a period of you stop doing everything for everyone and just focus on self. When you focus on your self it helps you realize what you like what you dont like, what you want, what you don't want, what you will take and what you won't take...which will eventually have you subconsciously set boundaries. Anyone will take advantage of a person who overly gives.. It shows them you don't have boundaries...which they may interpret it as low self worth and love and will happily keep taking while only giving you crumbs. Boundaries are definitely needed for a natural nurturing person, because it will make you a target for leeches. Leeches will suck the life right out of you.
@@blossombrown5408 Thank you so much and no offense taken. I actually hadn't taken a date in a few years before him and haven't went on one since him so I was of course stepping back in those waters just to give it a chance since he had been pursuing me for two years. I will definitely sit down and think about those things more in depth. And in the end if a man sees boundaries as selfish then he isn't the man for me
@ashleylee651 I think that was a very sweet gesture. Unfortunately, because this society loves sick hoes...the men cannot appreciate kind gestures. They only respond to cockroaches who fight, spit, and have orgies as thank yous. I definitely would suggest chillin for now unless you meet another giver. Everyone is hurting and they want others to pay for what someone else did to them.
✅ Get
your Testosterone levels checked ASAP with this great kit by Let's Get Checked, here: trylgc.com/Stephan - Use coupon code LOVEHEALTH to get 20% off.
Because of my lack of self esteem in my relationships, I couldn't see the SIGNALS. (1) Shaming (2) Insulting (3) Guilting (4) Need to be right and (5) A Lack of empathy
You will never be good enough for the wrong person. Profound my Brotha
Soooo true!!
Shit hurts like crazy 😔
What can ya do 🤷♂️🤦♂️
I had a friend who was honestly one of the most selfish people I have ever met! She only thought of herself always, everything was about her. She didn’t only use men for what she could get but she actually uses women for what she can get too. But because she’s pretty people fall over themselves for her. Men really really need to look over looks when looking for a life partner and mother of their children. Looks don’t raise children, looks don’t look after you when you’re sick, looks don’t make someone loving, kind, or a great conversationalist. When your with someone a long period of time you stop even seeing their looks.
Yeah that would be possible if that woman you speak of would be ok with the husband being sexually with a "attractive" woman and only that
This is a narcissist. It's a great observation to notice how someone treats men and women alike, because narcissists are pretty equal in their lack of giving a shit about others. Female narcissists try to confuse or hide the matter often ostensibly by holding up the idea that they are feminists, or using a feminisit basis to argue their perspective against men.
Don't ask me how I know.
It's sad
“And mother of their children.”
I’m pretty sure there are some men out there who want a life partner but are not interested in having children.
Vast majority women ,selfishness is a weakness they have .
Once someone disrespect you it's done, forgiving slaps forgiving disrespecting you calling you stupid too often, if you know your worth and you're a respectful person toward them don't be afraid to walk away, they will eventually regret it.
“You’re the man you’re supposed to do this for me” was something I heard every day. Glad she’s out of my life first day I have felt true peace within my own mind in a long time. No confusion, no walking on eggshells, no draining myself, and no self hatred, literally all these signs are what I have dealt with
Wanted me to do every fucking thing and always sacrifice but she never had to feel or go through any discomfort. Something was seriously wrong.
🎉🎉 get out of there brother.. trust me. They make you fall hard and play with your emotions. They want to waste your time because their lives are useless.
Are you sure though? Hard to see oneself objectively. Whatb if she waas so starved from getting from you that she exaggerated the demands at last? Was she wrong? And who were you to start with her at all, shouldn't you have looked and vetted and had borders? Is it all her fault like you make it out to? Just asking. An unhappy emotionally neglected woman may hjave got too tired and depressed to give . I wish you had seen a counsellor, or12 step program work. And hear her side too. - All the best onwards!
@@Medietos I have my faults too and we both have sides where we make each other drained to do for the other but after counseling she has admitted to having these unrealistic expectations and not seeing how privileged she is.
@@Medietos where as I ask nothing of her mostly but that’s because of the solitary lifestyle I had before her I’m not used to asking people of things
I was abused emotionally and physically by My Wife 💔
All women will say thank you when you pay for them what matters is how they behave when you don't.
Exactly 💯
Truth..
There are a lot of important key points in here. And as a woman who wasn’t healed I have been controlling. It definitely stems from lack of security and belief you need to create your own safety net. To be in a relationship with a selfish person leads to one sidedness which cancels out any love that could exist with that person. Thank you for another great video Stephan
My pleasure ❤️
At the end of the day he does the first 4 to me and I'm left to do the last(complain). You were speaking to men but this spoke to me as a woman 😢
the love just fades away it’s not there anymore
I relate this to my ex. She was a good friend but we were never a team. I was exhausted doing everything. She wasn't doing anything to make my life easier, and when I mentioned it to her, she would not get it. I attracted a person with very low self esteem in my life at that time.
Exact same situation with me brother. I had to break it off despite my feelings. 2 months on now. What baffled me is she never realized it
That’s real
Preach y’all!!
My situation right now wowwww😮🤦🏾♂️
When she does what she wants, says harsh things and rarely asks your sentiments about it
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤
It blows my mind how some men put up with what they have to put up with for so long. My buddy had probably the worst girlfriend i have ever seen and he finally just said enough is enough. She moved into his place and a few weeks later quit her job. He was paying for everything while still having to do errand running like you mentioned. All of this going on while shes getting child support from another man. Single mother. I was proud of him after he said enough was enough. He lost almost 25 lbs due to stress and negligence. After 2 years he finally called a moving truck and had her move out. Hes doing much better now. Thanks for this video.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
GEWWWWD GOOD RIDDANCE GETTING RID OF THE LEECH
This is why men need to put women through a probation period before making any serious commitments to them.
He just got used. it's life, people will use you if they can
@@courtney1930 lol shit I put them on a 6 months to a-year probation period before I even think about a relationship with them
I feel like this also helps as a guide on what to look out for when making female friends even. I was getting to know a new friend until one day she told me the awful things she would do to her roommate when she got mad at her. Immediately I was like.. I need to end this friendship now 😬
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Thats a smart woman move ! Self awareness is key👍🏻👍🏻
Glad you told her "buh bye girl"👋 devious divas=dastardly dangerous
So agree with you!
I was paying my girl bill we not married.. I was like I do this bc I love you but she said that’s what you supposed to do instead of saying I’m very thankful for paying the bills… So we don’t get kicked out..
"You'll never be good enough for the wrong person" 😮🎤
As a woman i sooooo appreciated this! It was very powerful to hear this and keep myself in check.
Im 47 and just got out of 7 month relationship with a lady a few years younger. The more i tried to cater to her wants and needs and treat her with kindness and respect it wasn't enough. I own my house, good job and women will say tberes no good black men out here. I just give up.
It hurts when your doing your all and it’s blinded because of the hurt she’s been thru… Without her noticing what she’s doing it’s just pure chaos, one sided, and the past that never happened keeps replaying…
That's a classic victim mindset tactic female narcissist use to gain sympathy from kind men like yourself. It's a strategy bro.
😮
So true man previous cats musiq if u ever heard of it grt song.. we come along and get the brunt of it those feelings she never fixed it
11:05 is so on point! If you are doing everything for her and she does nothing for you? Walk away!
I was selfish in my marriage! I was selfish in general! And because his behaviour and mistakes were 'bigger' and many,it didn't allowed me to see my flaws!After separation I started to decode my behaviour without taking his and his mistakes in consideration and I discovered many mistakes of mine and also I started to discover me and where I stand.
Do you think your mistakes could have compounded to make his mistakes more likely/ probable. I ask this innocently and without malice. I have looked back at my marriage and I can see where mistakes contributed to a toxic environment but also I don’t think that justifies the other persons course of action.
@@dicerevo no. I made mistakes but I wanted to reconcile and to grow and learn and love together. But where isn't love, everything is worthless. Both he and I lack love and respect for eachother and also we dont't like eachother. I married him because I got pregnant at 19 with him after 1 week of seeing eachother. 2 selfish people who didn't love eachother together for 14 years, I'm telling you that the kid took all the debris
Healing thats beautiful blessings to you🙏🙏
Recognizing your own mistakes is the beginning of wisdom and growth.
What's crazy is during a relationship check up I addressed how she had a "me me me" mentality and I continued to go through it thinking it would change.
Welcome to the club! 😆
Most of this video was my experience. It got to the point that I realized my ex wasn’t healed and was operating from the experience of past trauma. I came into the relationship confident in myself and of what I wanted. I tried my absolute best to reassure her and stick it out hoping that one day things would change even though it started to feel like it wasn’t the best for me. I saw signs earlier in the relationship but after a year it slowly started to fall apart. Unfortunately things did not change for the better and she was unable to see how her mindset and behavior was chipping away at myself and our potential. Another year to year and a half later it ended with us both being hurt.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Just went through this. Smh..
Same exact situation very traumatic.😬
Man great insight thanks for sharing. I'm just coming out of a 10 yr marriage with a woman that never healed from her past as well plus in addition has 3 daughters also not healed and got man trauma. Long story short I got the wrath of it for 10 yrs. And now I'm moving on. I hope you are doing better now also
Currently going through this now with my wife of two years and the person I’m married to now is not the woman I married. I don’t know what else to say or do. I had to put myself in therapy to try and cope and problem solve on how to power through this. But it don’t sound like I’ll be able to do anything else.
Recently seperated from my second wife. It took 8 years of me being discounted. I am a Marine combat vet with ptsd. Other medical issues have come up and i stopped getting support emotionally. She started seeing someone two months before the separation and actually thought i wouldnt find out. Well until she posted her new relationship on facebook. I know now what was happening. You have spot on points i wish i realized earlier. I love this video.
Your logic is impeccable, my brother!! Way too many insecure, connavine and unappreciative females out here!!
Lol "You gotta get rid of her" I laugh every time I hear him say that😂 because you can feel that he means every bit of it😂
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I enjoy jumping over to the men’s channel and looking at these types of videos, making sure I don’t fall into the category lol
God is good!
Great points 👍🏾
Glad I could help 🙏
i think most of the people watching the men's channel are also women, for the same reasons as you
Same
Bro you just explained 10 yrs of confusion in 20 min...😂 Thank you!
😂
Get out now that you know!
Being in a relationship with these types of woman feel like 10 yrs in 3 months
This is so good for me as a women to check in so I can work on this to be a better partner for him
I'm hope your man appreciates you for that. Not many women will do that...
My ex was selfish. I will NEVER again be with a selfish woman. I know what it feels like. I cannot trust such women anymore and the only reason why I trusted selfish women is because I didn't know how to trust. I will only give my heart to women that are considerate and are givers. Women that actually enjoy giving because it's who they are to want to please a man.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that and pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
This is true I ended up briefly with a woman that embodied all five of these traits. And it is true there are just many narcissist women as there are men. The problem I feel that our community doesn't properly address this is because we are taught to overlook a woman's toxic behavior as being something due our fault or the tired anecdote of a woman is allowed to be emotional because she is a woman. The first sign I realized mine was toxic was how she treated her baby daddy. Now I know some lames gonna not agree with this next statement but if a father is providing for his children, regardless of what you or her think it is supposed to be and she is denying that communication and bond between the father and children...she is trash. And it will happen to you eventually.
U hit it right in the head man.
Hit the nail on the head brother
This is facts but if she doesn’t communicate at all with him is better than being trash with the dude
Man, you have no idea how healing and strengthening this is for me. Especially the point about controlling, I have a tendency to allow women to do this with me without realising. Thanks for the video! Subscribed and liked. I'm definitely going to be watching more of your content
Welcome aboard and don't forget to click on the notification bell to be notified whenever I release a new video ❤ 🙏
At this point I need to stay by myself because I went above and beyond for a woman until I was broke.When the relationship ended I was seriously drained.I just need to heal.
The solution for us men in dealing with modern women is to put them through a probation period which could last from a minimum of a 1 year to 3 years, during this time your job is monitor her performance which should consist of consistency of character, selflessness, respect you consistently, willing to follow your lead etc, if after the probation and you are satisfied with her performance then you take it to the next level and start discussing things further.
Good for you! That's right, take time to heal yourself, you'll be glad you did. At any rate, a lot of ppl fail to do that...take time to heal themselves, that's why they go from one dysfunctional relationship to another.
I'm headed in the same direction... coming up.in a year.and she still with the same.bad ways and words..and nothing I ever do is good enough, she doesn't see she does any wrong, she hits me deep with hateful words and gives.me.nothing when I already have enough negative on-going but meanwhile I have improved her life and is ungrateful for it when all wanted to do is give her love and things she never had and treatment she deserves or never got from the exes who broke her to what she is now! I am breaking mentally and need help!
@@josephrod5903if she willingly crosses your boundaries leave her now. With women like that you never know how far that petty vindictive nature can go because it stems from a lack of self control and empathy. Protect your LIFE, this woman cares little for you and you just didn’t know how to prove it.
Your probably losing money d8ing her too, and she’s gonna rip every last dollar she can out of you to get you back for irritating her. When you voice your frustration she’s gonna use it to get mad at you, then she’ll try and use you until she doesn’t feel like it anymore. Don’t let this happen please
@@josephrod5903please leave 🙏
THANK YOU for this. You have no idea how restorative and optimistic it makes someone feel when they hear something like this after coming from a relationship with someone who's extremely selfish and who constantly complained and devalued them. I honestly thought I was alone-a lot of my friends even said it wasn't an issue even though I thought it was from very early on. So, thank you brother, keep doing what you do.
I got called selfish with my ex. That was in 2017. I gave that relationship, my all. I haven't dated since, now I can't be bothered. I am happy just living my life for God, and to be honest, now I do things for myself only. Now I am a full-time live-in carer for the elderly, I love my job, I have more money than I have ever had, and my career is advancing. I could actually end up nursing or as a paramedic. I will never date again. Absolutely no interest!
What you going to die with your cats maybe take the advice your ex gave you better yourself and find someone 🤷♂️
Hey you 😊
But how long have you been single?
Yea but my women is selfish right now and I'm totally sic of it and she says she's giving the relationship her all when I call her out so .
Women have nothing to give
Just broke up with a girl last week. She hit signs 1-4 dead-on. Wish I had seen this video a year ago. We rebuild
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
You're an amazing speaker man, honestly the way you communicate is impressive and it sure helps me to understand things from another perspective. (I listen to both of your channels). You're really needed, please keep doing what you're doing.
I will. Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
Thanks bruh I really needed to hear this I'm going through this now and I really got to let this woman go.
I agree with what you have said. Love is an action word. We both need to be grown.
Absolutely!
When anyone attacks or manipulates you out of the pain they’ve experienced of their past relationships, it may not be because they have anything personal on you, But they make it personal by making you feel attacked or threatened.
Shiiiiit haha I couldn't have gotten this video at a better time. Such a tough pill to swallow. Great chemistry, easy to be with her, similar interests, soft spoken, to me she's pretty. But gosh darn I started seeing the signs. She's the youngest and the princess of the family. Always had her way in the world. I can't compete with her own self! I don't really want to split but I can't live like this for the rest of my life! Real love and marriage is about compromise. I'm a patient person and I lead by example but you can only take so much. Thanks for the video! God bless.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
Im was also dating a princess of the family and guess what, I have the same experience as you do. The funny thing is that we put up with these toxic behaviors to a point they way us down. Just because we were told to be men and act strong.
Bro get out before you marry and have a baby with her I promise you’ll save yourself from a lot of pain do the right thing love yourself
I like the part where he says that we shouldn't hold onto negative emotions towards those who hurt us because their actions has nothing to do with us but them
I don't get how this guy doesn't have more subscribers. This is solid advice.
His main channel is 2m subscribers
How she treats her close friends. Abandons them as soon as sometimg better comes along.
Thank you Stephan for these snippets! Your book Love after Heartbreak, walked me through one of my most painful chapters of life. Combine that with therapy & Deida's The Way of the Superior Man, I walked different. Damn sure filtered different. Helped me find her, and it's been an amazing ride so far. God bless you man!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much and may God bless you as well 🙏
MOST younger to middle aged women today are very self-aware. Damn straight they are. They are aware of what they want and how they want to be taken care of. Yet, they completely lack the awareness of what it is to take care of a man. To be an actual partner. This is the biggest issue of the age and why most men are choosing to leave relationships alone and concentrate on themselves. It's that simple.
Let Me put it in a different way (and you can use this for ANY relationship) - No empathy. Lack of character. Entitlement. Lack of appreciation. Doesn't show that you're valued. Lack of respect. Refuses to heal. Mindset of you and me vs. US. Doesn't really care baout much because it's all abou them. Zero recisoprosity. Negativeity. No accountibility. Solution: I'll quote a song "...let's just kiss and say Goodbye." And HEY - DONT LOOK BACK.
Everything is energy. Everything is vibrating. We must come to the realization that we attract what we are. Our physical reality is a reflection of how we are feeling within us. If we are attracting people who are making us feel less then, maybe we should ask ourselves… How am I making myself feel now? Am I there for myself now? Am I raising my vibration now? The moment we become kinder, more sensitive and develop intimacy with our own self, we attract this energy to us like a magnet. We must become what we want to attract and how we want to be feeling, then recognizing our beautiful qualities, emphasizing and bring these qualities out in others. Inner peace, world peace.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
This sounds like this new-agy mambo jambo with this love-yourself-more paradigm which ultimately is self-serving and leads to exactly the selfishness Stephan is talking about. yoga girls are the most selfish women I came across . Take themselves extremely important with this energy and vibration bs and all that.
„Die to self“ and hand your will over to Christ . Very unpopular and unsexy I know and it takes effort.
Don’t make yourself an idol nor the other , serve god and others - easier said than done but worth pursuing.
It’s always easier said than done but you never know a person's true intentions until you fully know them over the time of interacting with them which usually take 5 months to a year before thinking about stepping into a long-term relationship well at least for me I usually take that long before I commit.
@@tramayneharris7044 Absolutely 🌺 When we know who we are, we can begin practicing protecting our energy so we can become more consistent with our vibration, therefore being consistent on vibrating on the same frequency of witch we will be attracting. It’s always best to take our time sometimes, it becomes less overwhelming and we are able to see the action. Because actions speaks louder than words, Much love ❤️
Then what's the old saying goes the opposite attracts?
There's another kind of person that we should avoid. The one who settles for you because you're a good catch. Especially when they are willing to sacrifice your chances of finding the right person so that they can have you for themselves. It's like locking you in a pumpkin shell so to speak.
Yo, that was my relationship. Once I woke up and she wasn't satisfied anymore. She was gone like Elroy said on Next Friday 😂😂😂 I can laugh about it now, but man, when I didn't have my girls under the same roof, killed me.
@@Nolaboy17I know EXACTLY what you mean bro! When she took my 7month old twin girls from under my roof of love and protection, I felt a pain for years, that I STILL can’t believe I’m not deceased from….💔💔❤️🩹
Stephen, I recently purchased your book, "love after heart break" and I have to Say that, my jaw has yet to return from dropping to the floor. Truly a God sent book! I'm just read it. And I'm gonna keep reading it over and over.
Life saving perspectives. Everything you have discussed in this video and book, pretty much has described my relationship and my past traumas.
What really grieved me thought, I wished that I had known about your RUclips channel and the books you've written before my relationship was doomed.
My, now, Ex after 12 years has gone into NC, for 21 days now. And she's cold as ice.
Definitely something every for couples to work on together, as well as individuals.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
The last part very insightful. It explains completely my situation. Above all, she was too much too soon, controlling and never satisfied.
I love your reasoning for paying for dinner on the 1st date.
Genius investment!
That's why I do not condone paying for everything. When you don't earn things,you see no value in it. Women are helpmeets. If the man needs or requests help paying,they should.
I never had a voice to control anything or anyone in my past relationships. They were abuser. I stayed because I was taught to stay. I always did for them even when they hurt me.
I'm still on my healing journey. I'm learing and growing so much. Thank you, Stephan for continuing to teach me!❤
I was thinking yesterday that I wish I had my parents instill this knowledge in me at a young age. Then I realize it had to happen this way. I just want to live to please GOD. It's hard healing and going through what I'm going through. I'm just taking one day at a time.🙏🏽
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
*If she expects you to always cater to her without any consideration for your needs or boundaries, she’s taking advantage of your generosity. A healthy relationship is about both partners lifting each other up, not one draining the other.*
From point of view of a woman, everything said is such a true 🙏🙏 never seen a better video, learn from it. It will save so many innocent guys
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
Been there done that..🙄😂 man I was such a fool. Never again
Shame how much of this men feel like is normal and what they should expect. Boundaries and respect are for both people for sure.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
💯 agree ❤, selfishness isn't love.
Most definitely!
@stephanspeaks I wish I had heard your information before I got married. Thanks for sharing.
My pleasure ❤️
Stephen, I love that you were always so loving and kind and always come from a strong place. I love your advice. one time I went on a date with a man where he took me out to dinner on the first date. I was so impressed and happy, but to be honest, I don’t think I said “thank you” out loud to him even though I was definitely appreciative. I think I was so nervous and afraid to jinx anything. at the very end of the date, I did tell him thank you for picking me up and taking me out. but this all goes to say for men to give the girl a second chance if she didn’t say thank you on the first date! She may have been nervous, and in her head! now whenever my boyfriend takes me to dinner I tell him thank you so much because it really does make me happy and he always says to me, “thank you for being so thankful” because apparently there’s a lot of women who aren’t.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Man I am glad I found you, I get called crazy for saying these things
You give the best advice, I've learned a lot from you and I love it. I appreciate you keep up the great work
The last point hit so hard! I am taking notes from certain video's to help our relationship and in this specific video the woman said that you need to let your partner watch this video, if they don't watch it to better the relationship then you deserve better.
I told her this specific stuff and she just got mad, she knows the can't keep up with this and rather stays lazy, I almost walked out of the situation because I asked her if she can name things I've improved after our first conflict, she said little to nothing, I opened the door of the car where we were speaking and attempted to walk away and say it's over but then she said come back I didn't mean it like that.
Stephan says this exactly right, she sees that you are putting in the effort and that makes her insecure, she doesn't want you to grow faster than her and she doesn't want you to make her accountable for the situation of 2 people!
Crazy I’m none of these and have never been loved properly
I’m so NOT a selfish person…I honestly don’t know how people can do that!
If she don't spend time with her kids and hands them off to family members even though she has custody she selfish.. really she's evil in my opinion
My ex did that a lot. If she isn’t taking care of her two sons, who were very good kids. She ain’t gonna take of no one but herself.
Good timing my girl of 4 years is falling in line with this video
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Man, I’m going through it right now
🙏 I hope she reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
I wish I had this advice 😪 in my late teens, would have saved me a lot of grief, heartache and time!
This man should be mentoring young boys from 16 on up! Will this generation 🙄 a lot 🤔 of heartbreak.
My mother is a covert narcissist. Growing up was like hell on earth
I think once you resolve certain issues that's when your ready to date. I was in a relationship where i realized we both had childhood traumas that made the dynamic as a couple unhealthy. Months after the breakup, I discovered I have CPTSD. I see relationships differently after that experience. I did love her and she wasn't the worst but I think I chose the wrong timing on my part and her part. The toxicity I don't miss but it's important to let a man breathe when he needs it. Many moments in that relationship put me in situations that triggered my issues of neglect and abuse from my growing years. After having these realizations, I admit that I'm discouraged about dating and now will approach things differently. This channel helps you see patterns that need to be addressed. God bless this channel. When I get back into dating, I'm going to watch this channel a lot again
Spot on with the Advice.
First of all, I'm not going on a date if he isn't paying for it. I don't have a selfish bone in my body, but chivalry is very much alive in my life and is required for me to deal with ANY man!! I love to love, but I'm not compromising what I need. God got it.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
@@StephanSpeaksforMen your welcome!!
Of course he should pay.However God's requirements for men are superior to women lol
@@minkevinhamilton890 you think? I'd rather pay for a date than have a baby!! Lol
He never said that women should pay for the date
Ive seen many men favor selfish women. I had a close friend (who i have now cut off after discovering how she treats people), and this girl is never single. Ive seen the way she treats her bfs and its really sad to see, but evidently men love to be treated that way, so i guess its a match made in heaven?
and where are all those bfs now? gone (for one reason on another)...now sit down, shut up and listen if you're actually looking for long term partner as opposed to being girlfriend
you help me so much,i consider you a good friend.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Wow, this is real-- especially the last part. I realized this woman I was dating was operating out of brokenness and would become "avoidant" when we got closer because she was scared to be vulnerable. We had a great spark/connection I could feel from the jump, but we both had stuff to work on. It sucks but I had to walk away. Although, I truly know I gave her my best so I don't feel bad. Just wish it would've turned out differently
Reflection time for sure! I appreciate your delivery. Many out there want to justify poor communication or poor behaviors and you seem to encourage ownership, repair, and maturity; thank you ❤.
Thanks for great insight as always. Like how you explained how alot of people are operating from brokenness. Been married 10 yrs. And my spouse always came accross entitled but I know now she is just not healed.
🙏 I hope she reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
you helped me so much,I consider you a good friend.thank you!
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
Selfish women need to be left alone. Let them die alone. Sooner or later they either wake up and change or end up in the grave 6 feet under the way she came.
Ladies....take notes!👏👏💎💎
🙏
Can you make a video on setting boundaries when getting into a relationship with a woman
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
There's also a book called Boundaries. I'm reading it now and it's a great read..
Great video, the way you articulate yourself makes everything really clear. I thought I was subbed before but here is my sub!
Welcome aboard, and don't forget to click on the notification bell to be notified whenever I release a new video ❤ 🙏
Man thank you so much, the part where she functions on her brokenness is so facts wow
You're the best Stephan
I have a friend who recently told me his spouse threatened to baby trap him if he divorced her. They already have 2 kids. She told him she's not divorcing him and he feels helpless and trapped.
I never heard of rapist verbally warning it's victim. That's a red flag that she is off the deep end. I bet she is still outside. Per usual.
Described my relationship to a T. It's tough though because she's aware of it but so trapped by trauma and fear I might've just called her too early if it all.
29 years of marriage. No value time for a divorce.
The reason why I 💖💖💖 your ministry,, is because I can see how you are getting us all on the same page/What is relationship acceptable.
Every family and raising is different, you bring comm 10:02 on ground with good sense.
Thank you ❣️
True stuff. Real signs of a selfish woman. There are plenty selfish people to go around. Pay attention.
Makes sense. I can relate to some of the points you mentioned in this video especially the last point. Thank you.
Dam! This one hit close to home… thank you
I really appreciate you talking about the controlling woman. Im trying to figure out if I could build a valuable relationship with a woman who is very controlling. I figured out as you say that none of that is personal and that she misses something. Its sad that people can be very harsh towards each others cause I feel like she sees me as a savior. I really don't want that to begin with. I'm a deeply believer person and it is hard to move on and let her there. I have mixed feelings , I mean I genuinely function on utility, in the sense I could love her later if i figure out I did the right thing. Very hard mixed feelings I'm in right now.
As a woman watching this the dude I was dealing with fits this profile very well, this can easily be flipped. Good advice none the less
dude...... why did this pop up after i was stuck for so long and cut the chords myself after the attempt to dehumanization. very sad since she was and is truly one of a kind
Many women keep jumping from relationship to relationship and need to completely heal first before they decide to bring that toxic behaviour into another relationship. #smh
They are going on their sexual healing journey just like they see men doing. No morals all raw. YOLO.
I was one of those guys that was treated like shit!! All I am is a nice kind person in life!!
Thanks for the messages you are so right.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
If I had a dollar for every man I've known to ignore all the red flags until he was somehow "bound" to such a woman! Its heartbreaking to see soooo many men choose these type of women over considerate (i guess boring?) women and then have children with them!!!😩😢
They have decided serial rapist who gives everyone raw sex day 1 makes perfect play things.
On point bro! I get rid of these hussies quick.
Am dating one... You just spoke about my partner... Wish I came here earlier
I have a. question..for those of us women who are just genuine caring, givers and nurture people how do you stop from doing that tooooo soon for a man? Because men who are takers and users will take full advantage of your wanting to help make his life better in some capacity. I have been told to set boundaries for myself with people and not be so quick to help and in doing that men could see you as selfish because you are setting certain standards and barriers to protect your heart. Like a guy took me out on a date and I got him a nice thank you card with a slice of his favorite type of pie and he literally didn't even appreciate the gesture at all even though I was showing him I appreciated him
Don't take this personally. The card and slice of pie was too much. A thank you I had a good time..would have been more then enough. If it was the first date...that man may not have even been worth a card/ the slice of pie/ or any pie for that matter. I would suggest a period of you stop doing everything for everyone and just focus on self. When you focus on your self it helps you realize what you like what you dont like, what you want, what you don't want, what you will take and what you won't take...which will eventually have you subconsciously set boundaries. Anyone will take advantage of a person who overly gives..
It shows them you don't have boundaries...which they may interpret it as low self worth and love and will happily keep taking while only giving you crumbs. Boundaries are definitely needed for a natural nurturing person, because it will make you a target for leeches. Leeches will suck the life right out of you.
@@blossombrown5408 Thank you so much and no offense taken. I actually hadn't taken a date in a few years before him and haven't went on one since him so I was of course stepping back in those waters just to give it a chance since he had been pursuing me for two years. I will definitely sit down and think about those things more in depth. And in the end if a man sees boundaries as selfish then he isn't the man for me
@ashleylee651 I think that was a very sweet gesture. Unfortunately, because this society loves sick hoes...the men cannot appreciate kind gestures. They only respond to cockroaches who fight, spit, and have orgies as thank yous. I definitely would suggest chillin for now unless you meet another giver. Everyone is hurting and they want others to pay for what someone else did to them.