Trivialisation to reduce cognitive dissonance always bring out riduculous results. edit: nevermind, that's not even trivilisation now that I think about it, just the anger state that also serves to reduce cognitive dissonance.
@@jamegumb7298 is this a joke or are you really this dumb? This has nothing to do with her body. You made a choice to stay committed. You want to reject intimacy with your husband? Your choice but you shouldn't sleep with another man when you are married. If you are joking, then sorry. If not, then you need someone to check your brain
Yeah, ex-wife and AF wanted to prove it was the right choice to cheat and they had her ex's support. That's probably why there were supporters: they are under the impression that OP doesn't care about it or in support of it. The fact that he's not going to the party but still cared enough to give his daughter her deserved presents shows the reality: he's not keeping in contact with her for *any* reason other than the children. So no, he's not in support of what she did. There didn't need to be drama. May not be entertaining, but reality isn't always about drama. This guy is being smart and keeping himself out of her life.
Yeah that ones great. Did you see the one that he just flat out disappeared. He moved to iowa or something crazy like that and became a farm hand. @Aj_editz27
@@lalalovengun I'm positive her plan was to introduce her AP then and there to make Op look like a loser. Either that or like Op said, to provoke him into doing something petty so she'd have a pretense to make her affair seem justified.
My ex-wife did the same shit, her AP was one of my so called close friends. Now they live together barely making ends meet calling on me when they need help etc. I only help when it concerns my son. They get everything they deserve. Don't try to find any logic behind her actions.
@@lalalovengungiven that the ex is his wife it makes sense that she got primary custody considering how sexist courts are regarding custody, so yeah he should definitely fight for and get full custody and since they barely make ends meet it’s obvious he will get custody this time around.
Don't help them at all. Make them realise what life is all about. Don't let your love kids to get better of them,I know it sounds hard however few sacrifices has to be made it you want your kids back.
The ex wife was still sneaking with the affair partner well after the divorce as to not appear that they were together way before the marriage was dissolved. That way, the AP would look “legit” in the eyes of the rest if her new partner is revealed at least some months after divorce.
@@lalalovengunMy heart bleeds for OP's kids. I predict that, when they hit their mid to late teens, they'll disappear on their cheating birth-giver and her AP to couch-hop at friends' houses, next, at 18, the daughter will stay with/marry a boy who's a cheating lothario, only, to have a baby on the way, and become homeless, when he kicks her out, the son will stay with a girl whose mother was using her as a free babysitter for her other kids (from different fathers), only, to have a kid with her, and become a single father, after his kid's mother disappears on them, then, OP's daughter will move to states, get their GED certificates, find cheaper 3-br apartments, take online college courses, work two or more jobs to support their one-parent households and instead of dating, or getting married again, they'll need to focus on raising their kids, and providing them with stable homes.⚠️
@@danacarter9147 that could very well happen, OR the OP and ex wife coparent in a way best for their kids and seek counseling on how to handle their emotions and for kids to get therapy too and they turn out great and have successful lives! And OP finds love again with a loving and loyal woman who will respect him and love him for him and vice versa.
Always make and sign a prenup with a cheating clause and child support (in case child is not the dad's) and alimony. Me personally, I'd make a infidelity clause giving EVERYTHING to the cheated party
That will make courts toss out the whole thing. Paternity is up to the courts, and a private contract cannot meddle in that, even if you can prove and she admits to fraud.
I don't think a cheating clause is the best idea anymore just because of AI and other factors that are only continue to grow meaning it could very well become easier to fake.
@@ResidentWeevil2077 because in some areas it doesn't matter who bought what with their bank account/debit/credit card or who owned the house prior to the marriage that became the divorce, if one of the married people owns it then for some reason it now becomes both of theirs and they have to mediate who gets what (with lawyers so that costs even more money) or try to split the money as evenly as the two divorcing can get it, and that's not even counting the areas where the woman is heavily favored because they are often the one that takes care of the house and kids while the husband works so they tend to get Spousal and Child Support despite the fact that the wife was the one that cheated, often causing the husband to have to live in crappy conditions because the wife gets the house and kids.
It started with no fault divorce. Used to be that whoever committed to the act of infidelity or abuse, they would be divorced with nothing. Now with no fault divorce, the courts are biased against men and women can initiate divorce with hardly any consequence throughout much of the U.S. you can thank Raegan for that.
What did she expect bringing her AP to her child's party? How the hell do you even go about introducing the man who destroyed a family? How do you even show your face after cheating on S/O? Man, ex wife is dumb.
The poster reallly like to update when there's lack progress in the story. While it feels more real, it's really suck and boring to hear repeating stories in each update 😂
@@jordanwardle11 Neither is "blood is thicker than water", unless you can quote me it's origin. The phrase I said has multiple meanings and not all of these will therefore share a common origin. Rather it combines the concepts of: blood ties are strong the bond between brothers in arms is stronger than milk brothers the bond or oath of a commitment and the bond of my word is stronger than ties of family You don't choose your family, and your family can be extremely toxic towards you. Saying the "well family first either way" is so fucking dumb it's baffling to that people still lack the common perception to understand that just because you have a great family around you, doesnt mean everyone else does (I work with children who are in those situations, and if I hear you say that phrase in front of them, I'd make sure you wouldn't be able to utter it again, as it would damage these children even more). You don't choose your family, so you shouldn't feel obligated to stay with them just cause either. You choose your friends and who you keep around you, so those ties can mean a lot more than your family. And if you CHOOSE to keep your family close because you have a good relationship with them, then good, but you chose your bond then.
@@Moose0fNorwayIt's actually the original source of that quote. It's the middle-high german beast epic Reinhart Fuchs, eng. Reynard the Fox, from 1180 by Heinrich der Glîchezære. Jacob Grimm interpreted this as meaning that the blood ties of the family are not erased by the waters of babtism. It was William Jenkyn, who referenced that quote in his 1652 sermon: "Blood is thicker (we say) then [sic] water; and truly the blood of Christ beautifying any of our friends and children, should make us prefer them before those, between whom and us there’s only a watery relation of nature."
The one thing i wish people would realize is that the only reason they fall so in love with their APs is because that relationship is unrealistic, it exists at the expense of the marriage. The AP only provides romance while SO provides stability and stress of everyday life. Its a joke that they dont see this.
It wasn't juicy at all, it was VERY diplomatic, but still is justice. I just hope there was more to it. Not sure why he didn't want anyone knowing his ex is cheating? It's cos of the kids I guess?? He stayed civil through it. Honestly I would've report the relationship to HR, & make a post about what happened on facebook. Dine in. At least pretend to know something infront of the children so they'd side more with Dad.
This ain't even petty that's just like using a kid against the mother. That's sad leave the kids out of it. Plus your putting yourself in harms way why would I post about on Facebook then people keep coming to me it's bs. And why tell the job? That's technicality out of there business as long as the work is done I don't think they need to know about there love life unless it's messes with the thing America loves most money. Besides the kids seem to already have a understanding of the situation by there comments and the girl seemed happy of the gift it's like she knew her dad was mad .
I feel proud of it too, but sadly, I'm learning the slang. Yesterday I finally put together what "OBS" means... I honestly thought it was a typo for "IBS" 😅 Can you imagine what I was thinking!? "I met up with diarrhea at taco bell to concoct a plan on how to confront our significant others"
These particular terms aren't particularly 'chronically online', it isn't like there's the usual 'Updoots', 'Thanks for the gold stranger' BS, they're just simple ass abbreviations relevant to the community. Honestly the sorta stuff you'd see in real life support groups (Alcholics Anonymous uses abbreviations in a similar way as an example)
Jesus christ, like half of the first story is him updating with non updates, and thanking and rethanking the community. I feel like that whole 4 minutes could have been cut out, as all it does is repeat the same thing over and over
70% of this is just recaps, farming playtime for YT. The story is non-existent between the 3:00 and 20:00 marks. it's just a dozen or so updates that don't give any update.
Reputation destruction is one of the prime modes of female violence so they're primed to protect their reputation to themselves and others. So "my ex-husband and I are still good friends" is one way to minimise her adultery and general lack of morals. If they can't reframe one way then it's often followed by accusations and falsehoods "He cheated! Not me. He was SO abusive and controlling I had to to save myself and the kids!". I also think they want to keep tabs on their ex's for the ego boost they get from the pain you're in and the "fact" that they were the best thing that you ever had and now your life is shit. One of the many reasons the best revenge is a life well lived.
It's funny how they don't put any work in while they're married, and after they get divorced, all of a sudden, they start fixing the things wrong with them and aren't able to admit their part in the situation, or that their laziness in self-improvement didn't contribute to their marriage problems.
Peer pressure and public humiliation. Ex-wife's entire family is aware of the situation, is shunning the AP and the daughter's birthday was a crappy event for the ex without hurting the daughter.
It's a clickbait title. No shit it's a vent/rant...OP wasn't trying to tell a story, but build a community. His goal was to seek advise and give it to others when need be...to grow as a person, too. He had no idea that his story would be formatted this way on RUclips.
I'm stuck trying to figure out wtf the ex-wife wanted; what was she trying or hoping to gain from that situation? To hurt OP by flaunting her new man in his face and in front of her family, who seem to all be under the notion that just because she's kin, they're obligated to support her, even though she's the one in the wrong? Or was it an attempt to try and win him back and get him angry/jealous of the other man, and bask in the attention? To show to everyone _'Oh, it's ok what I did! See? He showed up for the party; that means he's alright with everything, and I'm NOT a monster'_ ~?Or is it some combination of the above? I truly have no idea what was going through that woman's head.
I recently heard some good advice on marriage “you shouldn’t love your partner as much as you did in the beginning…you should love them more as you learn,experience, and live with them” not exactly relevant but figured someone might need that
I been with my husband for 15 years and I'm not understanding how being in a long term relationship is "stressful". I mean when we had our first kid that was the first time our marriage actually felt a bit strained because of medical issues both myself and my baby encountered but once we got through that we bounced back. It just takes work. I actually want to grow old with this man and when I think of being old with someone who toughed it out with me through thick and thin that makes me feel very happy! Why would anyone want to blow that up?
I’m lost. She invited OP to the party and wanted him there but was scared that he had shown up early? I’m not following the train of thought here. Also, what was supposed to happen with AP present? I don’t get what Ex-Wife is thinking.
Those two certainly weren't thinknig about her daughter. She had planned to lead her father into some sort of confrontation. Maybe they had bigger gifts for his daughter than he did, or some sort of announcement to make, or just wanted to finally rub the affair in his face, but he saw it coming and didn't show. probably better for the daughter that way. Then it was actually her party, not about their drama.
By OP showing up to a party with the both of them there, it sends the message that its water under the bridge, and that OP is ok with how everything went down and accepts their relationship. But by not only giving a gift, but also refusing to attend. It shows he only wants to support his daughter and that he refuses to be anywhere near his ex or the AP. And bonus that the AP being at a birthday for the daughter born of the marriage he helped destroy, it makes the both of them look super trashy and heartless, as shown by the update near the end.
if op wants to get back at his ex-wife and her ap during the birthday party the best way to maximize the damage is to go there well dressed in a nice haircut and his nice physique and take with the aps true love/crush and or take with him a younger and prettier gf that is a upgrade from his ex-wife.
Anyone else feel the tension between op and the ex in-law at the end lol? To anyone think I’m being serious about that I’m not. Anyway OP took all this like a champ and just made it look like it was nothing. Props to you OP 👏👏
I definitely feel that the ex wife didn’t reveal her new “love interest” until a few months after the divorce because she didn’t want anyone she knows to know about her cheating with the man she is with.
Skip to @19:42 for title story Update "YOUR SO CONTROLLING" He/She screams because his/her Wife/Husband isnt okay with them cheating. Like is it some new drug these people are taking that they think ANYONE would want to be with someone like that.
if I were in this situation, I would go for a temporary restraining order while still married but also include wife's name. this way, if she goes near him or he goes near her, he ends up in jail for violating it and then finish her with divorce along with evidence that she was cheating. knowing her, I am willing to bet she wouldn't be able to stay away from him and if he runs because she tries to go near him for fear of being arrested, it shows her that he didn't actually care and I would still go through with the divorce. neither of them get a happily ever after at the expense of my self-respect
She's making plans with AP for a life together but she's all broke up now that AP has filed for divorce? Is she schizophrenic? If so and she marries AP, that would make him a polygamist.
I want to see myself dying of old-age, with a loving wife and accomplished life. The wife part is of much importance, call me old-fashioned but love like that is so hard to get these days; if you have it you are blessed. Happy for OP for being happy, but I hope he finds a real woman.
he kept saying why isnt she broadcasting ap to every1 if its the best relationship ever and then he gets all butthurt when she invites him to the kids party?
She either wants you as back up or she let her mine see you as a best friend Rather cuz she was bored to help with her wanting to cheat rather than see you as her husband
It's so hard to feel sympathy for some of these guys. A woman says to your face that she has a deeper emotional question with another man, and you tried to fix like really dude you entertained the idea of growing old with someone who doesn't think of you as theirr depest emotinal connections.
And I hate people who use their children as scape goats for cowardice to move on. The children wouldn't have benefitted living in a house with two parent who hate each other behind closed doors
Seems the greatest emotional connection ever has a different meaning.. even during the daughter's party Ex and her love did not show much affection.. not much fun now..
Chances are, the ex and AP are keeping it hush cause they know that announcing their relationship soon after the divorce will look bad. Edit: the birthday party kinda confirms it: they wanted to imply that OP blesses their union by having the two men be civil at the same shindig.
This was just 25 minutes of rambling, ventung, and looking for advice and nothing worth making into a story to listen to. Sometimes these stories are better off just staying on Reddit. Glad the guy is doing well off though
It worked out well in this guy's case but I cannot stress enough how bad of an idea it generally is to take the high road when you're the victim of a cheating partner or spouse. Everyone (friends and family) needs to be told the full truth, even children (in an age appropriate way of course). Taking the high road and being the bigger person almost never ends well. That usually only works in the movies. It gives the cheater - a proven piece of sh-t who doesn't care about hurting innocent people - full control of the narrative. Your silence is not going to make you look like the bigger person, it's going to make you look guilty, like you're ashamed of what you did (whatever cheating spouse accused you of doing to end the marriage). If you ever find yourself in this kind of situation: share the facts and appropriate evidence with friends and family. Do it in a dignified way; no yelling, screaming, name-calling; but you must share the facts.
Half of the guy's story is his "TLDR"ing over and over and over then adding half a paragraph. A good 50% of the story was filler and pointless... I skipped about 8 minutes st one point just to get to a new bit of the story.
Deepest emotional connection ever? What's next they feel spiritually connected or match made in heaven? Match made for hell more like. You lose the spark go to counseling or therapy to try and get it back. Don't cheat with a random guy hoping to get a spark with them. See him one last time for closure. No husband in their right mind will agree to that.
My favorite part is when he updates with nothing to update. I mean, 200 updates and all I got from it was his wife cheated on him. At what point did he make them regret it as the title said?
I can’t stress enough how much women thrive on attention. If you get bored with your wife/long term girlfriend and too comfortable having her, you may lose her to someone else if you neglect her emotional needs. Men tend to do the old “ball and chain” routine to long term partners where they are “just there” to serve and be used for work and sex and otherwise ignored. Fact is that when men do this, an emotional disconnect happens inside the woman who is feeling used and ignored. There are no “feels” anymore and we are all about them as emotional creatures. And usually this is accompanied by some passive aggressive complaints about “how we never go out on dates anymore or do anything special to reconnect”-which 9 times out of 10 get a half azzed “oh yeah ok we’ll do that” that never materializes in reality. THIS is how a woman who loves you goes from “I love you” to feeling weak-willed towards another man who IS paying attention to her and making a fuss over her. Like it or not, this is like a playbook for “how to lose your girl to Mr. Steal yo Girl”. Fair or unfair, like it or lump it. And yes-this is absolutely true for men as well when a woman starts taking him for granted, ignoring him, pushing away his love, or denying sex because she isn’t ever in the mood enough. So this is absolutely a two way street here. Take ‘em for granted=lose ‘em. Because life is too short for a loveless boring marriage to someone who doesn’t think you’re amazing and loves you AND shows you that! And not just at the beginning and then afterwards-nothing.
Relationships have a honeymoon phase, relationships will get old and repetitive eventually. Doesn't matter if you go on dates or even shower the person with attention, eventually it'll all feel like a routine and strong couples will continue loving and being there for eachother like a family would. However when weak minded people get met with the thrill of another honeymoon phase and exploring that, this is the result and it destroys families and the person who left everything behind often has regret eventually.
Most men will stay in a crappy relationship, especially when they have kids, because they get a little 30 minute glimpse of what their partner used to be. The reality is most women nowadays withhold sex, affection, and any bit of caring because of their “emotions.” Men get called pigs for the majority of the relationship for always being horny. However, when the women are on their period and hormones start flaring it’s always deal with it and they act like pissy gremlins. Make the double standards make sense if you’re so wise
imagine getting mad and calling your husband controlling when he rightfully got mad at the cheating and told you to cut contact with your ap.
Trivialisation to reduce cognitive dissonance always bring out riduculous results.
edit: nevermind, that's not even trivilisation now that I think about it, just the anger state that also serves to reduce cognitive dissonance.
@@xegin1572 I like your funny words magic man.
@@xegin1572Somebody just discovered what a thesaurus is
Her body, her choice.
No man can or should want to control that, no mstter the situation. We mshould all aspire to be real men like Adam22.
@@jamegumb7298 is this a joke or are you really this dumb? This has nothing to do with her body. You made a choice to stay committed. You want to reject intimacy with your husband? Your choice but you shouldn't sleep with another man when you are married. If you are joking, then sorry. If not, then you need someone to check your brain
Yeah, ex-wife and AF wanted to prove it was the right choice to cheat and they had her ex's support. That's probably why there were supporters: they are under the impression that OP doesn't care about it or in support of it. The fact that he's not going to the party but still cared enough to give his daughter her deserved presents shows the reality: he's not keeping in contact with her for *any* reason other than the children. So no, he's not in support of what she did.
There didn't need to be drama. May not be entertaining, but reality isn't always about drama. This guy is being smart and keeping himself out of her life.
Yeah that ones great. Did you see the one that he just flat out disappeared. He moved to iowa or something crazy like that and became a farm hand. @Aj_editz27
@@Sexy_BaristaThat’s one of the best written stories!
Yep. Guaranteed that the AP seeing how awkward it all was and how he was ignored the entire time is already looking for the next woman.
LOL judging by how the party went I guess it's still not this time that ex is going to reveal her "greatest emotional connection ever" to her family 😂
Some emotional connection 😂. We all know she’s trying to dodge the shame of wrecking up her family.
@@lalalovengun I'm positive her plan was to introduce her AP then and there to make Op look like a loser.
Either that or like Op said, to provoke him into doing something petty so she'd have a pretense to make her affair seem justified.
@@mksmike Exactly! Makes sense why she kept begging OP to come to the party 😏. So glad OP didn’t simp for her. She’s 🗑️…
GrEaTeSt eMoTiOnAl CoNnAcTiOn tHaTs EvEr LivEd
@friendlyneighborhoodshinigami I'd give it another name greatest western trill
My ex-wife did the same shit, her AP was one of my so called close friends. Now they live together barely making ends meet calling on me when they need help etc. I only help when it concerns my son. They get everything they deserve. Don't try to find any logic behind her actions.
You should get full custody!
@@lalalovengungiven that the ex is his wife it makes sense that she got primary custody considering how sexist courts are regarding custody, so yeah he should definitely fight for and get full custody and since they barely make ends meet it’s obvious he will get custody this time around.
@@joselynrodriguez921 I got shared custody, got the house, all my stuff and my cat. Trust me the way things are right now it's all in my favor.
I'm curious of your pfp
Don't help them at all. Make them realise what life is all about. Don't let your love kids to get better of them,I know it sounds hard however few sacrifices has to be made it you want your kids back.
Such a deep emotional connection, doesnt even introduce him to the family 😂
The ex wife was still sneaking with the affair partner well after the divorce as to not appear that they were together way before the marriage was dissolved. That way, the AP would look “legit” in the eyes of the rest if her new partner is revealed at least some months after divorce.
Yep! No wonder the family reacted annoyed after ex wife begged OP to come to the party. Good thing OP didn’t show up! Checkmate
@@lalalovengunMy heart bleeds for OP's kids. I predict that, when they hit their mid to late teens, they'll disappear on their cheating birth-giver and her AP to couch-hop at friends' houses, next, at 18, the daughter will stay with/marry a boy who's a cheating lothario, only, to have a baby on the way, and become homeless, when he kicks her out, the son will stay with a girl whose mother was using her as a free babysitter for her other kids (from different fathers), only, to have a kid with her, and become a single father, after his kid's mother disappears on them, then, OP's daughter will move to states, get their GED certificates, find cheaper 3-br apartments, take online college courses, work two or more jobs to support their one-parent households and instead of dating, or getting married again, they'll need to focus on raising their kids, and providing them with stable homes.⚠️
@@danacarter9147 that could very well happen, OR the OP and ex wife coparent in a way best for their kids and seek counseling on how to handle their emotions and for kids to get therapy too and they turn out great and have successful lives! And OP finds love again with a loving and loyal woman who will respect him and love him for him and vice versa.
Always make and sign a prenup with a cheating clause and child support (in case child is not the dad's) and alimony. Me personally, I'd make a infidelity clause giving EVERYTHING to the cheated party
indeed, actually I think that should just implied in every marriage contract
That will make courts toss out the whole thing.
Paternity is up to the courts, and a private contract cannot meddle in that, even if you can prove and she admits to fraud.
@@jamegumb7298 the law is unjust
I don't think a cheating clause is the best idea anymore just because of AI and other factors that are only continue to grow meaning it could very well become easier to fake.
@@sofiakate9749 what's your idea then?
We need to change the marriage/ divorce laws.
@@ResidentWeevil2077 The 10 commandments doesn't say that the woman should get everything in the divorce
@@ResidentWeevil207710 commandments doesn't say the dad that got cheated on should still pay child support when they're not the bio-dad
@@ResidentWeevil2077 because in some areas it doesn't matter who bought what with their bank account/debit/credit card or who owned the house prior to the marriage that became the divorce, if one of the married people owns it then for some reason it now becomes both of theirs and they have to mediate who gets what (with lawyers so that costs even more money) or try to split the money as evenly as the two divorcing can get it, and that's not even counting the areas where the woman is heavily favored because they are often the one that takes care of the house and kids while the husband works so they tend to get Spousal and Child Support despite the fact that the wife was the one that cheated, often causing the husband to have to live in crappy conditions because the wife gets the house and kids.
It started with no fault divorce. Used to be that whoever committed to the act of infidelity or abuse, they would be divorced with nothing. Now with no fault divorce, the courts are biased against men and women can initiate divorce with hardly any consequence throughout much of the U.S. you can thank Raegan for that.
@@jfknoscope7363 Raegan just screwed over everybody past his time.
My bet is that AP is/was also in a relationship and that's why they kept everything silent for so long even after the divorce.
BRO WHAT!?!? He’s controlling because he caught you cheating!!?! Thats a wild statement
What did she expect bringing her AP to her child's party? How the hell do you even go about introducing the man who destroyed a family? How do you even show your face after cheating on S/O?
Man, ex wife is dumb.
She told me I was a controlling a*hole
He should told her she was a cheating a*hole back
The poster reallly like to update when there's lack progress in the story. While it feels more real, it's really suck and boring to hear repeating stories in each update 😂
"I would like to thank everyone for your kind advice and support" Yes we know we have heard this through 5 updates a 6 edits 🤣🤣
Bro just wants to empty the teapot
Bro doesnt have anyone except his mind,the gym,the therapist and reddit so i think its fair
@@goldenbard and kids, friends and sports car, seems pretty good
@@nicolassalcedo1447 doubt he can vent to his kids,friends too and wtf is a sports car helping you 😂😂😂
It's not "blood is thicker than water", it's "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb".
No. It is "blood is thicker than water" the blood of the covenant is a modern interpretation, not an actual quote
@@jordanwardle11 Neither is "blood is thicker than water", unless you can quote me it's origin.
The phrase I said has multiple meanings and not all of these will therefore share a common origin.
Rather it combines the concepts of:
blood ties are strong
the bond between brothers in arms is stronger than milk brothers
the bond or oath of a commitment and the bond of my word is stronger than ties of family
You don't choose your family, and your family can be extremely toxic towards you. Saying the "well family first either way" is so fucking dumb it's baffling to that people still lack the common perception to understand that just because you have a great family around you, doesnt mean everyone else does (I work with children who are in those situations, and if I hear you say that phrase in front of them, I'd make sure you wouldn't be able to utter it again, as it would damage these children even more).
You don't choose your family, so you shouldn't feel obligated to stay with them just cause either. You choose your friends and who you keep around you, so those ties can mean a lot more than your family. And if you CHOOSE to keep your family close because you have a good relationship with them, then good, but you chose your bond then.
@@Moose0fNorway ouch hoer ich sagen, das sippe blůt von wazzere niht verdirbet
I also hear it said that kin-blood is not spoiled by water
@@jordanwardle11 yeah, that's also a variant.
@@Moose0fNorwayIt's actually the original source of that quote. It's the middle-high german beast epic Reinhart Fuchs, eng. Reynard the Fox, from 1180 by Heinrich der Glîchezære.
Jacob Grimm interpreted this as meaning that the blood ties of the family are not erased by the waters of babtism.
It was William Jenkyn, who referenced that quote in his 1652 sermon:
"Blood is thicker (we say) then [sic] water; and truly the blood of Christ beautifying any of our friends and children, should make us prefer them before those, between whom and us there’s only a watery relation of nature."
The one thing i wish people would realize is that the only reason they fall so in love with their APs is because that relationship is unrealistic, it exists at the expense of the marriage. The AP only provides romance while SO provides stability and stress of everyday life. Its a joke that they dont see this.
It wasn't juicy at all, it was VERY diplomatic, but still is justice. I just hope there was more to it. Not sure why he didn't want anyone knowing his ex is cheating? It's cos of the kids I guess?? He stayed civil through it. Honestly I would've report the relationship to HR, & make a post about what happened on facebook. Dine in. At least pretend to know something infront of the children so they'd side more with Dad.
This ain't even petty that's just like using a kid against the mother. That's sad leave the kids out of it. Plus your putting yourself in harms way why would I post about on Facebook then people keep coming to me it's bs. And why tell the job? That's technicality out of there business as long as the work is done I don't think they need to know about there love life unless it's messes with the thing America loves most money.
Besides the kids seem to already have a understanding of the situation by there comments and the girl seemed happy of the gift it's like she knew her dad was mad .
yes and living with lying to kids is better😏 a whole relationship base on a lie is an ideal😏👍🏻
so lying is good😅
@@princessqueen6881a whole relationship with parents based on a lie is good?😅
Hearing and seeing all these Reddit/chronically online terms and acronyms that I don’t know gives me hope that I’m maybe I’m not too far gone yet
I feel proud of it too, but sadly, I'm learning the slang. Yesterday I finally put together what "OBS" means... I honestly thought it was a typo for "IBS" 😅
Can you imagine what I was thinking!? "I met up with diarrhea at taco bell to concoct a plan on how to confront our significant others"
you're really bragging about how you're incapable of figuring out from the context what their subreddit specific terms and acronyms mean? lol
These particular terms aren't particularly 'chronically online', it isn't like there's the usual 'Updoots', 'Thanks for the gold stranger' BS, they're just simple ass abbreviations relevant to the community. Honestly the sorta stuff you'd see in real life support groups (Alcholics Anonymous uses abbreviations in a similar way as an example)
@@Raoul.So what does IC and OMB stand for? Not everyone is up on random abbreviations.
@@WhoamI-ml6djWhat is OBS?
Jesus christ, like half of the first story is him updating with non updates, and thanking and rethanking the community.
I feel like that whole 4 minutes could have been cut out, as all it does is repeat the same thing over and over
14:40
OP was feeling so good even the AI had to put of pizazz on his words
70% of this is just recaps, farming playtime for YT. The story is non-existent between the 3:00 and 20:00 marks. it's just a dozen or so updates that don't give any update.
This comment should be at the top. What a waste of time this video was.
Ultimatums to OP's wife = "Yes! I can continue my affair without a divorce!"
Smart move not going. Your ex tried and failed.
Reputation destruction is one of the prime modes of female violence so they're primed to protect their reputation to themselves and others. So "my ex-husband and I are still good friends" is one way to minimise her adultery and general lack of morals. If they can't reframe one way then it's often followed by accusations and falsehoods "He cheated! Not me. He was SO abusive and controlling I had to to save myself and the kids!". I also think they want to keep tabs on their ex's for the ego boost they get from the pain you're in and the "fact" that they were the best thing that you ever had and now your life is shit. One of the many reasons the best revenge is a life well lived.
It's funny how they don't put any work in while they're married, and after they get divorced, all of a sudden, they start fixing the things wrong with them and aren't able to admit their part in the situation, or that their laziness in self-improvement didn't contribute to their marriage problems.
op went all out looking cash at the end. i sleep well knowing a cheaters getting what they deserve
It's crazy to me that she can get ANYTHING after proof of infidelity
OP should get a girlfriend and flaunt her around too.. he being single still shows he still holds a flame for the ex
I don't get it. How did op made the x and ap regret anything? This was just a huge ramble/vent.
Peer pressure and public humiliation. Ex-wife's entire family is aware of the situation, is shunning the AP and the daughter's birthday was a crappy event for the ex without hurting the daughter.
And the fact that AP will never be as good as a person as the OP lol.
It's a clickbait title. No shit it's a vent/rant...OP wasn't trying to tell a story, but build a community. His goal was to seek advise and give it to others when need be...to grow as a person, too. He had no idea that his story would be formatted this way on RUclips.
@BiblicallyAccurateSpiderman Of course they didn't.
I'm stuck trying to figure out wtf the ex-wife wanted; what was she trying or hoping to gain from that situation? To hurt OP by flaunting her new man in his face and in front of her family, who seem to all be under the notion that just because she's kin, they're obligated to support her, even though she's the one in the wrong? Or was it an attempt to try and win him back and get him angry/jealous of the other man, and bask in the attention? To show to everyone _'Oh, it's ok what I did! See? He showed up for the party; that means he's alright with everything, and I'm NOT a monster'_ ~?Or is it some combination of the above? I truly have no idea what was going through that woman's head.
The full saying is "The blood of the convent is thicker than the water of the womb"
I recently heard some good advice on marriage “you shouldn’t love your partner as much as you did in the beginning…you should love them more as you learn,experience, and live with them” not exactly relevant but figured someone might need that
That’s the best kind of revenge; it takes almost no effort
Hello everyone I'm back from my nap
Welcome back.. it's my turn. Going to nap 😴
Let me know if any more delicious drama comes 😅
@@opheriayu okay bet
Every state and country needs to implement at fault divorce
Serves her right.
I been with my husband for 15 years and I'm not understanding how being in a long term relationship is "stressful". I mean when we had our first kid that was the first time our marriage actually felt a bit strained because of medical issues both myself and my baby encountered but once we got through that we bounced back. It just takes work. I actually want to grow old with this man and when I think of being old with someone who toughed it out with me through thick and thin that makes me feel very happy! Why would anyone want to blow that up?
I’m lost. She invited OP to the party and wanted him there but was scared that he had shown up early? I’m not following the train of thought here. Also, what was supposed to happen with AP present? I don’t get what Ex-Wife is thinking.
Those two certainly weren't thinknig about her daughter. She had planned to lead her father into some sort of confrontation. Maybe they had bigger gifts for his daughter than he did, or some sort of announcement to make, or just wanted to finally rub the affair in his face, but he saw it coming and didn't show.
probably better for the daughter that way. Then it was actually her party, not about their drama.
By OP showing up to a party with the both of them there, it sends the message that its water under the bridge, and that OP is ok with how everything went down and accepts their relationship. But by not only giving a gift, but also refusing to attend. It shows he only wants to support his daughter and that he refuses to be anywhere near his ex or the AP. And bonus that the AP being at a birthday for the daughter born of the marriage he helped destroy, it makes the both of them look super trashy and heartless, as shown by the update near the end.
if op wants to get back at his ex-wife and her ap during the birthday party the best way to maximize the damage is to go there well dressed in a nice haircut and his nice physique and take with the aps true love/crush and or take with him a younger and prettier gf that is a upgrade from his ex-wife.
Take a shot every time he says “thanks for the advice”
Anyone else feel the tension between op and the ex in-law at the end lol? To anyone think I’m being serious about that I’m not. Anyway OP took all this like a champ and just made it look like it was nothing. Props to you OP 👏👏
Fcking legend, I aspire to be half as chill as you are mate 👌🏼
I definitely feel that the ex wife didn’t reveal her new “love interest” until a few months after the divorce because she didn’t want anyone she knows to know about her cheating with the man she is with.
Skip to @19:42 for title story Update
"YOUR SO CONTROLLING" He/She screams because his/her Wife/Husband isnt okay with them cheating.
Like is it some new drug these people are taking that they think ANYONE would want to be with someone like that.
12:45 when he forget the elytra 😂
if I were in this situation, I would go for a temporary restraining order while still married but also include wife's name. this way, if she goes near him or he goes near her, he ends up in jail for violating it and then finish her with divorce along with evidence that she was cheating. knowing her, I am willing to bet she wouldn't be able to stay away from him and if he runs because she tries to go near him for fear of being arrested, it shows her that he didn't actually care and I would still go through with the divorce. neither of them get a happily ever after at the expense of my self-respect
This should be a drinking game with everytime OP gives a tldr instead of linking the post or just going straight to the updates, everyone drinks
Hell yea trust those Spidey senses 😂
Good job! Keep moving forward with your head held high.
Husband: Stop cheating on me and we can stay together
Wife: You such a controlling asshole
Ive never skipped so much of a story.
She's making plans with AP for a life together but she's all broke up now that AP has filed for divorce? Is she schizophrenic? If so and she marries AP, that would make him a polygamist.
Yknow it’s funny, I only hear women calling a man “controlling” when he’s cracking down on behavior that poisons the relationship
The boys will see this and simply say “hell yeah”
I want to see myself dying of old-age, with a loving wife and accomplished life. The wife part is of much importance, call me old-fashioned but love like that is so hard to get these days; if you have it you are blessed.
Happy for OP for being happy, but I hope he finds a real woman.
he kept saying why isnt she broadcasting ap to every1 if its the best relationship ever and then he gets all butthurt when she invites him to the kids party?
I assume that the OP was expecting her to introduce the AP to "the world" but not specifically with him around (like he would be at the kid's party.)
She either wants you as back up or she let her mine see you as a best friend Rather cuz she was bored to help with her wanting to cheat rather than see you as her husband
It's so hard to feel sympathy for some of these guys. A woman says to your face that she has a deeper emotional question with another man, and you tried to fix like really dude you entertained the idea of growing old with someone who doesn't think of you as theirr depest emotinal connections.
And I hate people who use their children as scape goats for cowardice to move on. The children wouldn't have benefitted living in a house with two parent who hate each other behind closed doors
I learned a valuable lesson today. Big thanks OP! I'm going to walk my dogs now (:
Seems the greatest emotional connection ever has a different meaning.. even during the daughter's party Ex and her love did not show much affection.. not much fun now..
99% of these cheating stories are mainly about unfaithful wives/girlfriends. Anyone else notice that in the Related/Suggested recommendations?
because statistics show that females who cheat have surpassed males within the last 5 years.
So you're going to see more.
Chances are, the ex and AP are keeping it hush cause they know that announcing their relationship soon after the divorce will look bad.
Edit: the birthday party kinda confirms it: they wanted to imply that OP blesses their union by having the two men be civil at the same shindig.
This was just 25 minutes of rambling, ventung, and looking for advice and nothing worth making into a story to listen to. Sometimes these stories are better off just staying on Reddit. Glad the guy is doing well off though
that means it might actually have been a real story :)
It worked out well in this guy's case but I cannot stress enough how bad of an idea it generally is to take the high road when you're the victim of a cheating partner or spouse. Everyone (friends and family) needs to be told the full truth, even children (in an age appropriate way of course).
Taking the high road and being the bigger person almost never ends well. That usually only works in the movies. It gives the cheater - a proven piece of sh-t who doesn't care about hurting innocent people - full control of the narrative.
Your silence is not going to make you look like the bigger person, it's going to make you look guilty, like you're ashamed of what you did (whatever cheating spouse accused you of doing to end the marriage). If you ever find yourself in this kind of situation: share the facts and appropriate evidence with friends and family. Do it in a dignified way; no yelling, screaming, name-calling; but you must share the facts.
Please tell me I’m not the only one that cracks up every time it says something about “the D”
Half of the guy's story is his "TLDR"ing over and over and over then adding half a paragraph. A good 50% of the story was filler and pointless... I skipped about 8 minutes st one point just to get to a new bit of the story.
Imma sound dumb but what does AP stand for?
Affair Partner
A = Affair
P = Partner
AP = Affair Partner
I thought it meant asshole partner
@@Rowlet12928 it would be the wife in that case!
Automatic Pistol
This post is not written well. He does sound like broken record
Jesus christ this took forever to get thru. He repeats himself so much.
If she pulls ap to kids milestones
He is probably the real dad
Get both tested
Deepest emotional connection ever? What's next they feel spiritually connected or match made in heaven? Match made for hell more like. You lose the spark go to counseling or therapy to try and get it back. Don't cheat with a random guy hoping to get a spark with them. See him one last time for closure. No husband in their right mind will agree to that.
man's a gigachad
(This new counsellor is good at not assigning the blame) it’s her fault. You have so much self-control.
What's omb?
What a waist of 25mins you didn't make them regret anything.
*monotone voice* “h a h a h a h a h a h a h a”
My favorite part is when he updates with nothing to update. I mean, 200 updates and all I got from it was his wife cheated on him. At what point did he make them regret it as the title said?
"made them regret it" unlikely
Every state should be an at fault state.
You should get a DNA test to be sure the children are yours
Ugh! What does OMB stand for?
What an absolute waste most of those updates were.
Who was the AP can you tell me I missed it and I don't know why he didn't react to see the AP can anyone tell me?
OP is for Original Poster but what is AP for ?
What does OMB stand for?
Can someone please tell me what is STBXW??? And OMB ?
Soon to be ex wife, not sure with omb
@@lyra6695 thanks!!
Thank you !!
The title story start in 21.00 if anyone care 😭
Im like ap sounds like hes a double cheater as in its not ops ex but his gf \wife hes hideing it all for.
I still keep hearing ,,dday"but i dont know what it means pls tell🤔
What is stbxw and omb?
Any other updates?
What’s does omb mean?
Divorce maxxing
What does AP stand for?
What does AP mean?
Affair Partner.
I notice your putting more ads telltales😕
What’s OMB?? Anyone know?
I know OM is "other man"
@@AllEy3s0nMe other man-boy perhaps???🤔
Other male b****?
According to the OP, it stands for Old Man Balls since he was a 50 year old twice divorcee.
This could be max 10 min.
What is STBXW or what it was??
Soon to be ex wife made into an acronym :)
Soon to be ex wife made into an acronym :)
@@gray0nline49 thank you! 😀
I can’t stress enough how much women thrive on attention. If you get bored with your wife/long term girlfriend and too comfortable having her, you may lose her to someone else if you neglect her emotional needs. Men tend to do the old “ball and chain” routine to long term partners where they are “just there” to serve and be used for work and sex and otherwise ignored. Fact is that when men do this, an emotional disconnect happens inside the woman who is feeling used and ignored. There are no “feels” anymore and we are all about them as emotional creatures. And usually this is accompanied by some passive aggressive complaints about “how we never go out on dates anymore or do anything special to reconnect”-which 9 times out of 10 get a half azzed “oh yeah ok we’ll do that” that never materializes in reality. THIS is how a woman who loves you goes from “I love you” to feeling weak-willed towards another man who IS paying attention to her and making a fuss over her. Like it or not, this is like a playbook for “how to lose your girl to Mr. Steal yo Girl”. Fair or unfair, like it or lump it. And yes-this is absolutely true for men as well when a woman starts taking him for granted, ignoring him, pushing away his love, or denying sex because she isn’t ever in the mood enough. So this is absolutely a two way street here. Take ‘em for granted=lose ‘em. Because life is too short for a loveless boring marriage to someone who doesn’t think you’re amazing and loves you AND shows you that! And not just at the beginning and then afterwards-nothing.
Relationships have a honeymoon phase, relationships will get old and repetitive eventually. Doesn't matter if you go on dates or even shower the person with attention, eventually it'll all feel like a routine and strong couples will continue loving and being there for eachother like a family would. However when weak minded people get met with the thrill of another honeymoon phase and exploring that, this is the result and it destroys families and the person who left everything behind often has regret eventually.
Most men will stay in a crappy relationship, especially when they have kids, because they get a little 30 minute glimpse of what their partner used to be. The reality is most women nowadays withhold sex, affection, and any bit of caring because of their “emotions.” Men get called pigs for the majority of the relationship for always being horny. However, when the women are on their period and hormones start flaring it’s always deal with it and they act like pissy gremlins. Make the double standards make sense if you’re so wise
What does OMB stands for?
Old man balls he still updates this story pretty often
Old man balls, the guy updates this story still if you go look for it
@@CNice-11 Tysm!