Most likely he wont, sex without a condom with someone 10 years younger is really hard to do. He knows once he walks away, his options will be someone around his age.
not excusing it BUT, we never had red pill or solid male role models growing up. Remember: he was taught for 45 yrs "women are the prize"....it goes along with "never hit a woman" (no matter what she does). It's brainwashing and hard to overcome.
He has no idea that he is not being controlling by telling her no. He's not letting himself get used by saying no. The fact that she feels comfortable doing this tells me that she knows he has no backbone. And this story proves it.
@@alwaysright3943 They can piss me off too but I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and presume that they're ignorant. If they reject healthy advice then indeed it's frustrating but all you can do in that situation is point and laugh.
Yeah. That’s the advanced class. He’s not ready to realize yet that he’s babysitting her kids while she’s out auditioning his replacement. He’s still trying to master the “basic self-respect” part of the curriculum….
My ex wife started acting this way around the same age. She had school aged kids(not mine). I didn't babysit for her though. She started managing a restaurant and started partying with the much younger waitresses. I told her to knock it off, she didn't. Then she acted devastated when I left her. She told all of our friends that I left her because I didn't like her children. I was 50 yrs old, too old of a cat to be fooled by a kitten.
If she is so drunk when she comes home and can’t get up the steps: 1 she isn’t capable of taking responsibility for HER children, 2 if she is that drunk, than she doesn’t care who smashes her and uses that as an excuse for not remembering. Don’t walk away from the relationship, RUN AWAY. Get smart and respect yourself by not being a door mat.
1000% this one. In the update, he'll find out she's been partying at pound town with college guys, she'll try to shame him, then wail and tell him that nothing happened, then that it happened a few times, but didn't mean anything and/or was an accident. Guy needs to figure out where he packed away his nuts, gather then, and kick her to the curb.
@@angelofamillionyears4599 Correct, she doesn’t want child protective services looking into her behavior, because when they start investigating they don’t go away
Better advice is to just grow a backbone and say NO. Otherwise the next woman would do the same thing to him. It's in women's nature to test, and if the man can't say no, she loses respect and starts wilding.
Many years ago I made the mistake of letting my wife start getting away with little things. Everything seemed innocent at first. Comming home a little late. Spending the day with her girlfriend etc. I was really busy with my career and really didn't notice everything. Over time she became totally out of control. I would come home and she would walk out and leave me with our small children. As one would imagine she ended up being a serial cheater and destroyed my life. I would have been better off having strict boundaries. If she didn't like it and left it would have been way better than the shit show my life turned into. Even decades later my family is still affected by the mess created by me not holding a low quality woman accountable.
Very recognizable, and good to see you take the blame. Same here, my Ex couldn't handle finances and had a very bad spending habit (gambling). I let all the small irregularities slip as I was biliding my own business to support the family and save lots to be able to take care of our 4 kids. After 3 years i had to confront and she never changed her ways. Had to split up and as she is ruined (financially) I am the one taking care of the 4 kids. It is all my fault as I should have stopped her or left her at the first signs. Lesson learned the hard way and like you ,it still hugely affects my situation today, years later.
Gotta give you props. You 100% owned it instead of making excuses. I did the EXACT same thing & finally had enough & divorced her in 2012. I learned from it & realized ultimately it was ALL my fault. I'm the man & it's my responsibilty to lead the relationship & I failed to do so. I did not vet properly and chose the wrong woman & did not lead, check her, and manage the relationship properly. Have been with a new women since 2018 & things are perfect. She did little shit tests in the beginning & I shut them down quick. Before I would let those tests slide with my ex & other women before her, hoping not to upset any of them & operating out of a scarcity mindset. I learned those tests are natural for women. It's to test your strength or lack of. Fail enough of them & it ends like what you & I lots of other men went through. Ultimately they just lose respect for you & once that's gone you can never get it back
The kids' father is dead. But no, he shouldn't be watching them..... or dating their carousel riding mother. Banging her? Maybe. But a relationship? No effing way.
Once I know a women drinks I instantly know she's a cheater with low standards. Drinking is a lowlife activity and it is more damaging than hard narcotics like crac etc.
Even just babysitting her kids can put him on the hook for child support. Her crashing over there occasionally is definitely putting him on the hook for child support.
I'd be concerned about the possibility of SA allegations, but he's not going to get child support ordered for kids that aren't his, especially since they aren't married or cohabitating.
@Erick-di9gm MN.... a very blue state (but thankfully moving to FL later this year). Yes, non-fathers have been assessed child support, but I challenge you to cite one case here in the US where two children in a situation like this (dad died, mom dates another guy, but isn't married or living with him) were successfully used to legally extract resources from the guy unwilling. I'm not saying to not be on your guard, but let's not get overly paranoid. There are plenty of reasons for this guy to have avoided this woman, but child support isn't one of them.
@@SanDiegoBiz you don't even have to be dating or sleeping with them. Some kind of involvement with the kid is enough. Especially if the mother has proven that she can't take care of the child on her own.
Most married men end up in this situation where he is home with the kids, or dogs, and he is playing video games while his girl is out “at her girlfriends”. When in reality, she is finding your replacement.
How is this possible??? Where is this man's pride and self respect????? When they say it's cheaper to keep her, HELL NO NOT THIS WAY!!!! LET HER GO SHE BELONGS IN THE STREETS!!!
wife of 20 plus years (mid 40’s!) starting staying out late and partying and ended up leaving me and the kids right before Christmas last year. I was in hospital for multiple stays and surgeries and once I started healing and once she started making good money of course she leaves…now recently went and got huge implants as well and were going for separation (she doesn’t want divorce!). I have the kids the majority of the time and she’s always working, going to the gym or going out with friends. Love my kids, that’s the most important to me. However, how will I have time to start dating all over again at my age (mid 40’s) if i’m working 3 jobs and taking care of my little ones and doing housework…? she yelled in my face i’ll be alone forever or go find a granny…Im done arguing as it goes nowhere…bless u all!
25 years ago a friend of mine married a single mother of 2. Almost from day 1 she was coming to him several times a week saying "girls night out". After a day of work he was the babysitter for someone else's kids. The marriage lasted less than a year. It never should've gotten to that stage.
This is what caused our divorce. She wanted to party with a new work friend and we had 3 small kids. So she expected me to stay home every weekend. She ended up cheating at one of her “work parties” with her supervisor. You’re dead on with everything you said. I lived it all with her.
35 year old at college parties is absolutely insane. It’s actually grotesque. I went to a college party at like 23 and I felt like I was out of place and too old to be participating.
@@Goodwillwinoverevil1984 because dude being 40 at a college party is gross. It’s like a 14 year old boy going to a 6 year old girls birthday party or something. Why are you there?
Absolutely right. Been in a LTR for almost 6 years. My gf started to hang out with her new best friend at work and the two of them started to drink almost every friday or Saturday night. She was driving home drunk after i stopped picking her up at 3 or 4 am. I told her to stop doing it, which it did subside for about a month. She started back up, started to lie to me and eventually wanted to leave me. I found out she was texting and most liklely hooking up with guy at her job and he most likely was drinking with them. We are also not young kids anymore, me being 42 and her 38. I was trying to deny what my gut was telling me because in the 6 years she never did anything like that. So I said there's no way she would be cheating or doing something that I wouldn't approve of but she was and I was in denial. Finally we separated and it has been tough because it's only been a few days but the best thing I could have done. I understand that I deserve better than this. I have two businesses. Make great money. Good looking guy over 6 ft tall in shape. A lot of attributes that women would want and I don't deserve this type of behavior. Never happen again. Lesson learned
I get it. My 1st wife of close to 20 years started stepping out on me for about 3 years culminating on a divorce after hitting 23 years of marriage (& MANY more invested in her before we got married). Hypergamy can kick in right away or decades down the line. Past performance (or behavior in this case) does not guarantee future behavior. It's in their DNA.
Yip, I have seen behaviour change after 7yrs just overnight. Guys on YT comments always saying you need to get to know a woman for a few years before living with them etc. It doesn't make any difference, they can change who they are overnight at any given moment, whether they are 25 or 55. If you are with a woman, expect ANYTHING to happen at ANY moment, live like that and you'll at least not be blindsided when it happens.
just left my wife and filed because at 38, she wants to now go party as if she is in her 20's. she has 2 kids from an ex husband. says she isnt a cheater blah blah blah. bye bye
E X A C T L Y . Totally agree - "No" says all that needs to be said. And like you've stated, if she doesn't like it, that's a clear indication that she's not interested in you. Yes, "Famous Last Words". Forget it guys. You're being used.
I agree. My wife wanted to do the same thing, and I said “no, I’m not babysitting your kid so you can have a social life with other people. If you wanna go out, hire a babysitter, and we’ll go out together.” She quickly snapped back in line and dropped the request. We went out together as a family (including child) together. Younger women need to understand and accept that they have made certain life choices, and they need to grow up.
" She never had a chance" . What a fucking copout of an excuse. This woman had to handle life on life's terms so her sense of entitlement must be a way to catch up on that " party life ". What a mess
Yeah I did that while ex went to bars and her 8 yr old son kept asking Where's mommy? Called her and kept saying I'll be home in an hour which lasted 2/3am from the bar wasted. Fml good luck to the next beta
I had this same issue way back: I was poor and moved in with this rather nice woman who was 7 years older than me. She had a 9yr daughter. After around 1 year she started to go out partying with female single friends who also had kids in the same agerange.. i was too scared to set bounderies, cause i hadnt saved up enough money yet to move out and rent my own place. Eventually i did break it up with her and moved (i had already secured my new place to live, incase she all of a sudden throw me out the door). I was kinda proud of myself. Never looked at single moms since.
You are right about setting boundaries with your wife, I ignored my ex’s affair with the neighbour and I regret it because I stayed with her when I should have left her and started over again.
1) Although she is not single, she frequently visits environments designed for singles, often involving alcohol. Common sense suggests that this could lead to unintended consequences. It is akin to placing your hand close to a flame; eventually, you are likely to get burned. 2) The crux of the matter is as follows: if she truly valued you and the relationship, she would not continuously seek out social activities without you. She would prefer spending her time with YOU, dressing to impress YOU, and enjoying drinks with YOU. If these are not her priorities, it might indicate that she has emotionally exited the relationship a while ago and is merely going through the motions, perhaps benefiting from something you offer, such as free babysitting(paying mortgage), while she enjoys her outings. 3) Actions speak louder than words. It is crucial not to ignore or let others persuade you to overlook your gut intuition. If something feels off to you, it’s an instinctual warning, echoing the experiences of your ancestors, thru your DNA, alerting you to potential issues. Don’t ignore them or let society teach you that you need to ignore them for “modern times”. 4) Read above one more time.
I feel like a night out with the girls once in while isn't an issue per se. I think you really have the evaluate the whole relationship and ask why she's doing it? It may not be for nefarious reasons. But she has to give you the same courtesy and let you go out with your friends and be around other women (just platonically).
A line from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is applicable to a lot of these situations. When Ferris is doing a monologue about his friend Cameron, he says that Cameron will probably marry the first girl he gets with and she’ll treat him like crap because he’s going to put her up on a pedestal because he doesn’t know any better. Even if it’s not a guy’s first ever relationship, dudes will put these girls up on pedestals and not enforce boundaries just because he finds her sexy. We can’t give up our boundaries for someone else’s convenience. As Ferris says “she won’t respect him. Because you can’t respect someone that kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.”
1 min into this and I say Leave town, Cut and Run. Don't let her Hook you for Child Support for acting as a parent to her kids. Man what is this guy thinking -- even looks like a set up.
Question: does the same rule apply to a 52-year-old woman who has two kids in their early 20s, but she still goes out every single weekend going to clubs, dancing, parties, whatever, as if she was still in her 20s as well?
Not only bottom line needs to be in place and enforced. If she *likes* to cross it, if she shows interest in crossing it, consider it is half crossed and look elsewhere. As you are not on the same page. Anything you hold artificially by force is destined to fail. In this case she has to be the one not to look for external validation and have you as enough. You can enforce rules for her not to go out, but the damage is already there, by the fact she, on her own, is looking for it. So the battle is already lost.
My girl had a friend like this who she stopped talking to after she found out about this.. Her man was at home with their three kids and she had went out for a friend’s birthday but actually used it as an excuse to find this guy she’d been talking to online who was a DJ. They slept together behind the club, no protection. She went home that night and her partner slept with her too (imagine if he went down town too). The DJ texted her a week later saying he had chlamydia and she should probably get checked out. Absolutely disgusting…
Do you know that in a situation like that she could get pregnant with fraternal twins with different fathers? It's common in mammals witj large broods that sleep arpund.
I made this mistake years ago with ex wife, turns she had had multiple affairs! You are right on! I didn’t want to be controlling etc! I knew she would be a complete bitch if she didn’t go out! I’m glad she is in my past! Joe
Wo! "Hire Slowly, Fire Quickly" as Rich wrote about. Good advise. My spin? "Hire slowly, and Fire Instantly" when it comes to red flags like that. Buddy that's an instant $h1T canning situation. BOOT! Thanks for posting. Enjoying your book. Keep up the good work.
Setting boundaries was the hardest thing for me. I really struggled to do it and it was even hard to enforce them. Now 2 years later, they are easy to enforce and set. I set the same ones for pretty much everybody. Was it hard to start doing? Yes, like moving a mountain. Is it hard now? Nope, I respect myself too much to let ANYONE walk all over me.
Recently, I dated a 34 year old woman (going through a divorce, no children) who wants to relive her (partying) 20s. Mixed signals. Words and behavior didn't match. At least one male orbiter. I politely distanced myself and then ended it. People show you who they are in time: 2-3 months. If someone is really into you and ready for a relationship, you're together -- not wondering. Never, and I repeat, never, settle for less than what you deserve from a partner.
Even 18-22 year old college girls getting this drunk and going wild at parties is gross, but at 35 with kids and a loving boyfriend who is not invited? Shameful. She's hanging out with college dudes, and they are not talking about philosophy.
Get out of that....fast...college parties have crazy stuff that go on. A mature person wouldn't want to hang around moronic 20 somethings anyway. I hated it even why I was that age. Something doesn’t add up.
The same thing happened to a friend of mine. I tried to warn him. In the end, she left him for other men (plural). It left him devastated, took him years to get over it, and trust again. He was also screwed up because he got emotionally attached to the kid😮
my ex likes salsa dancing, she met another guy 4 months after the wedding. I have rejected a couple women since because they like to go out salsa dancing, go, but i will not play that game again
Rich made some excellent points. Be firm. Don’t let people walk over you. Have self respect for yourself and others will either obey or go their separate ways.
I don’t know what to do? Try stop ignoring the parade of red flag marching past you. Showing that she both has a drinking problem AND is cheating on you. Also seek help to find out why you think so little of yourself and have such poor boundaries that you tolerate her sticking you with HER kids (not yours) until 4 AM while she gets drunk and acts out in Lord Knows what other ways…. Just a thought.
Sounds fishy. She got married young and had kids with first husband. Kids should be in their teens by now. Not needing babysitting. OP is making things up or leaving info out.
At most id give this woman a brief lecture before walking out. You’re a babysitter beta. The new low. 😂. Im married and there’s no way I’d put up with that one time.
Been there done that!, but I was the guy she partied with while her kids were at the parents place. She ended up cheating anyways cause that’s partying!, it’s the cockcarousel!, so it’s only a matter of time till she cheats!, not a question of if or even boundaries. She’ll pretend to keep the boundaries and be doing it behind your back on a dating app!, trust me!, I was that guy she was with. If she wants to party!, she wants to cheat!, and she’ll do whatever she wants to do whether you like it or not!,
There’s no question that if I woman leaves you with her kids and yours to go and “party” she is getting hammered by other blokes . Don’t even try to argue with her. Pack your bags and leave immediately!
What’s with this culture of women? I ran a high end night club and restaurant venue in Scottsdale, Arizona back in the 1990’s. I saw the rising tribe of women in there 30’s and 40’s partying till the late hours of the night like they were still part of a sorority. And the bachelorette parties were positively vile, way grosser than some of the bachelor parties I’ve seen over the years. I also worked for years in places like this in England and it’s even worse their.
This guy is clueless. She absolutely is a cheater.
Agree. Soft and a poooosey.
You can’t make this $hit up.
Does the toilet paper on her knees give it away
Especially with alcohol involved
Amongst other things
She a 35 years old mother and still party? Dude need to walk away
It shouldn’t have to be said sadly
Run away like Forrest !
Walk, I'd run as fast as you could old buddy.
if she never got it in her youth i could sorta understand but it seems like shes done it B4
Most likely he wont, sex without a condom with someone 10 years younger is really hard to do. He knows once he walks away, his options will be someone around his age.
I've thrown women out my place and my life for way less.
This is a fact bro!!!
Same
damn straight...........
For doing what?
Once, I ended a 5 year relationship over a fucking cup of coffee. Just was not meant to be.
And you believe she’s faithful. RUN!
Exactly
Exactly, 3am is late. She gets an uber home after getting plowed by 20 something chads at these parties.
getting the chinese finger cuffs no doubt
B-b-but she's not a cheater!
🤣
A man at 45 asking these questions just shows how clueless men of today are when it comes to dealing with women. You cant just say no??
tv, social media, and even our jobs constantly sell us this nonsense every day. not all men are immune to it
not excusing it BUT, we never had red pill or solid male role models growing up. Remember: he was taught for 45 yrs "women are the prize"....it goes along with "never hit a woman" (no matter what she does).
It's brainwashing and hard to overcome.
This is fake
@RM-jb2bv I'd hope so but unfortunately guys are this dumb today
I know countless morons like this
"I don't want to be controlling...". Men have been gaslit into thinking basic standards = controlling women. Sad.
He has no idea that he is not being controlling by telling her no. He's not letting himself get used by saying no.
The fact that she feels comfortable doing this tells me that she knows he has no backbone. And this story proves it.
social media and weak father figures. heck most of us weren't raised by men at all, but our mothers instead
Controlling = he doesn’t tolerate my BS
Spineless men really piss me off 😂
@@alwaysright3943 They can piss me off too but I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and presume that they're ignorant. If they reject healthy advice then indeed it's frustrating but all you can do in that situation is point and laugh.
She’s picking to be with dudes in college over him.
She belongs to the streets
Too the moon!!
She is getting smashed and passed over there
Yeah. That’s the advanced class. He’s not ready to realize yet that he’s babysitting her kids while she’s out auditioning his replacement.
He’s still trying to master the “basic self-respect” part of the curriculum….
Man, she saw this dude coming. Not his kids? 35 going on 21? He’s his babysitter with benefits and nothing more.
only financial benefits
@@cbxxb4841I was just gonna add. Doubt they are very intimate.
Q
I bet he isn’t getting any
@@BrianWaller-qe7grright, she’s coming home and passing out on the couch.
My ex wife started acting this way around the same age. She had school aged kids(not mine). I didn't babysit for her though. She started managing a restaurant and started partying with the much younger waitresses. I told her to knock it off, she didn't. Then she acted devastated when I left her. She told all of our friends that I left her because I didn't like her children. I was 50 yrs old, too old of a cat to be fooled by a kitten.
you married a women with kids LOL
Bro married a single mom and expect what? You were never in the picture to start….
Stop marrying these single moms they already got a man ..
Such a good decision you took, kudos!
Bro unless those scars are from your kids, what are you doing with her, how is this even a situation
fr i don't understand how dudes get in situations like this
@@Adrian-zu6tm... *Vagine has them in a chokehold, pitiful.*
Man bro, there's some dudes that are just absolutely hopeless and pathetic when it comes to women. Makes no sense
Broken childhood
Lmao ….right
”I don’t know what to do.” That is the problem.
Exactly , bro is 45 asking this goofy ass question lol
@@stayingfitandfocused I know right!
What to do? Don't walk, run away!
Dude needs to get his shit together. That situation is a joke.
If she is so drunk when she comes home and can’t get up the steps: 1 she isn’t capable of taking responsibility for HER children, 2 if she is that drunk, than she doesn’t care who smashes her and uses that as an excuse for not remembering. Don’t walk away from the relationship, RUN AWAY. Get smart and respect yourself by not being a door mat.
1000% this one. In the update, he'll find out she's been partying at pound town with college guys, she'll try to shame him, then wail and tell him that nothing happened, then that it happened a few times, but didn't mean anything and/or was an accident. Guy needs to figure out where he packed away his nuts, gather then, and kick her to the curb.
True and she needs to be warned by child protective service to stop it.
@@angelofamillionyears4599 Correct, she doesn’t want child protective services looking into her behavior, because when they start investigating they don’t go away
@@Montbound1 That is my point
When I was 22/25 I used to pick up girls around 30/35 at the club. Most of them were engaged, married and with childs left at home with their husband
Ew not only is she far too old to be going out drinking, she's a mother and shouldn't be abandoning her children to go behave like a child
It's not a right for anybody to go out and party. Reliving your youth is a cope
Some Women don't deserve to be mothers.
Dude was blind not to see her as a party girl long time ago
never surprises me what excuses women will use to ignore their kids
She’s an alcoholic. Binge drinking variety. She’s turned him into one of her enablers…among other things….
I don't know why you were asking what to do my guy, leave her. Very simple
Better advice is to just grow a backbone and say NO. Otherwise the next woman would do the same thing to him. It's in women's nature to test, and if the man can't say no, she loses respect and starts wilding.
RUN whether she is faithful or not this is nuts. It's not about her age it's about being accountable
Many years ago I made the mistake of letting my wife start getting away with little things. Everything seemed innocent at first. Comming home a little late. Spending the day with her girlfriend etc. I was really busy with my career and really didn't notice everything. Over time she became totally out of control. I would come home and she would walk out and leave me with our small children. As one would imagine she ended up being a serial cheater and destroyed my life. I would have been better off having strict boundaries. If she didn't like it and left it would have been way better than the shit show my life turned into. Even decades later my family is still affected by the mess created by me not holding a low quality woman accountable.
Very recognizable, and good to see you take the blame. Same here, my Ex couldn't handle finances and had a very bad spending habit (gambling). I let all the small irregularities slip as I was biliding my own business to support the family and save lots to be able to take care of our 4 kids. After 3 years i had to confront and she never changed her ways. Had to split up and as she is ruined (financially) I am the one taking care of the 4 kids. It is all my fault as I should have stopped her or left her at the first signs. Lesson learned the hard way and like you ,it still hugely affects my situation today, years later.
Gotta give you props. You 100% owned it instead of making excuses. I did the EXACT same thing & finally had enough & divorced her in 2012. I learned from it & realized ultimately it was ALL my fault.
I'm the man & it's my responsibilty to lead the relationship & I failed to do so.
I did not vet properly and chose the wrong woman & did not lead, check her, and manage the relationship properly. Have been with a new women since 2018 & things are perfect.
She did little shit tests in the beginning & I shut them down quick. Before I would let those tests slide with my ex & other women before her, hoping not to upset any of them & operating out of a scarcity mindset. I learned those tests are natural for women. It's to test your strength or lack of. Fail enough of them & it ends like what you & I lots of other men went through. Ultimately they just lose respect for you & once that's gone you can never get it back
The fact that this is even a question is crazy. Their fathers didn't stay around to watch them. Why are you? Smh.
thats what social media like reddit does to men. they force men to feel this behavior is acceptable or be labeled a misogynistic bigot
@@bhutehole that's crazy.
The kids' father is dead. But no, he shouldn't be watching them..... or dating their carousel riding mother. Banging her? Maybe. But a relationship? No effing way.
Women never consider it cheating if they were drunk. If you cheat while drunk, it's 100 percent cheating.
Once I know a women drinks I instantly know she's a cheater with low standards. Drinking is a lowlife activity and it is more damaging than hard narcotics like crac etc.
Even just babysitting her kids can put him on the hook for child support. Her crashing over there occasionally is definitely putting him on the hook for child support.
Worse a SA she can just make up. He’d be ruined.
I'd be concerned about the possibility of SA allegations, but he's not going to get child support ordered for kids that aren't his, especially since they aren't married or cohabitating.
@@mikeb8342what rock you been under? Don't live in a blue state obviously, a lot don't care if they're your kids or not.
@Erick-di9gm MN.... a very blue state (but thankfully moving to FL later this year). Yes, non-fathers have been assessed child support, but I challenge you to cite one case here in the US where two children in a situation like this (dad died, mom dates another guy, but isn't married or living with him) were successfully used to legally extract resources from the guy unwilling.
I'm not saying to not be on your guard, but let's not get overly paranoid. There are plenty of reasons for this guy to have avoided this woman, but child support isn't one of them.
@@SanDiegoBiz you don't even have to be dating or sleeping with them. Some kind of involvement with the kid is enough. Especially if the mother has proven that she can't take care of the child on her own.
As soon as a woman starts to call you a liar and disregards what you say it's time to pull the plug.
She is 100% taking loads to the mouth in the restroom.
This man is doomed.
Most married men end up in this situation where he is home with the kids, or dogs, and he is playing video games while his girl is out “at her girlfriends”. When in reality, she is finding your replacement.
She's getting piped down by Julio and Ramone
My wife did this in our horrible marriage ... and now my ex wife of 10 years.. yes i filed fellas.
Same here
How is this possible??? Where is this man's pride and self respect????? When they say it's cheaper to keep her, HELL NO NOT THIS WAY!!!! LET HER GO SHE BELONGS IN THE STREETS!!!
If she has a child(ren) she is automatically disqualified. So I wouldn’t be faced with this in the first place 🤷🏾♂️😂😂😂
What if she has gigantic boobs? Would you still date her? I would
She’s a predator cougar bro…RUN 🏃♂️ 😂 and 🏃♂️ FAST 💨
wife of 20 plus years (mid 40’s!) starting staying out late and partying and ended up leaving me and the kids right before Christmas last year. I was in hospital for multiple stays and surgeries and once I started healing and once she started making good money of course she leaves…now recently went and got huge implants as well and were going for separation (she doesn’t want divorce!). I have the kids the majority of the time and she’s always working, going to the gym or going out with friends. Love my kids, that’s the most important to me. However, how will I have time to start dating all over again at my age (mid 40’s) if i’m working 3 jobs and taking care of my little ones and doing housework…? she yelled in my face i’ll be alone forever or go find a granny…Im done arguing as it goes nowhere…bless u all!
She needs to drop off the kids to their father! Dating single mother is terrible! Run away!😂😂
👍👍👍👍👍
Best one i heard dude, drop her welps off at her dads. Its probably his fault anyway. Dont pay for his parenting mistakes
25 years ago a friend of mine married a single mother of 2. Almost from day 1 she was coming to him several times a week saying "girls night out". After a day of work he was the babysitter for someone else's kids. The marriage lasted less than a year. It never should've gotten to that stage.
he was desperate
This is what caused our divorce. She wanted to party with a new work friend and we had 3 small kids. So she expected me to stay home every weekend. She ended up cheating at one of her “work parties” with her supervisor. You’re dead on with everything you said. I lived it all with her.
That dude is beyond delusional
35 year old at college parties is absolutely insane. It’s actually grotesque. I went to a college party at like 23 and I felt like I was out of place and too old to be participating.
But why are you guys acting like 35 is geriatric? I'm 40 and I can still do those things if I wanted
@@Goodwillwinoverevil1984 because dude being 40 at a college party is gross. It’s like a 14 year old boy going to a 6 year old girls birthday party or something. Why are you there?
Absolutely right. Been in a LTR for almost 6 years. My gf started to hang out with her new best friend at work and the two of them started to drink almost every friday or Saturday night. She was driving home drunk after i stopped picking her up at 3 or 4 am.
I told her to stop doing it, which it did subside for about a month. She started back up, started to lie to me and eventually wanted to leave me.
I found out she was texting and most liklely hooking up with guy at her job and he most likely was drinking with them. We are also not young kids anymore, me being 42 and her 38.
I was trying to deny what my gut was telling me because in the 6 years she never did anything like that. So I said there's no way she would be cheating or doing something that I wouldn't approve of but she was and I was in denial. Finally we separated and it has been tough because it's only been a few days but the best thing I could have done. I understand that I deserve better than this. I have two businesses. Make great money. Good looking guy over 6 ft tall in shape. A lot of attributes that women would want and I don't deserve this type of behavior. Never happen again. Lesson learned
I get it. My 1st wife of close to 20 years started stepping out on me for about 3 years culminating on a divorce after hitting 23 years of marriage (& MANY more invested in her before we got married). Hypergamy can kick in right away or decades down the line. Past performance (or behavior in this case) does not guarantee future behavior. It's in their DNA.
Brother enjoy getting yourself fully back and give all you got to someone who isn't like this individual.
All the best
Yip, I have seen behaviour change after 7yrs just overnight.
Guys on YT comments always saying you need to get to know a woman for a few years before living with them etc. It doesn't make any difference, they can change who they are overnight at any given moment, whether they are 25 or 55.
If you are with a woman, expect ANYTHING to happen at ANY moment, live like that and you'll at least not be blindsided when it happens.
No man deserves this behavior.
@@loseerich493 so sorry about that. Very long time together to have that happen. Definitely never getting married !
just left my wife and filed because at 38, she wants to now go party as if she is in her 20's. she has 2 kids from an ex husband. says she isnt a cheater blah blah blah. bye bye
E X A C T L Y .
Totally agree - "No" says all that needs to be said. And like you've stated, if she doesn't like it, that's a clear indication that she's not interested in you.
Yes, "Famous Last Words".
Forget it guys. You're being used.
I agree. My wife wanted to do the same thing, and I said “no, I’m not babysitting your kid so you can have a social life with other people. If you wanna go out, hire a babysitter, and we’ll go out together.” She quickly snapped back in line and dropped the request. We went out together as a family (including child) together. Younger women need to understand and accept that they have made certain life choices, and they need to grow up.
You did the right thing, and it's possible that saying "no" saved your relationship. When men can't say 'No', the woman loses respect and gets worse.
guy's whole frame is on an entirely different plane of existence 😆
Grow a pair and leave!!!
" She never had a chance" . What a fucking copout of an excuse. This woman had to handle life on life's terms so her sense of entitlement must be a way to catch up on that " party life ". What a mess
Yeah I did that while ex went to bars and her 8 yr old son kept asking Where's mommy? Called her and kept saying I'll be home in an hour which lasted 2/3am from the bar wasted. Fml good luck to the next beta
Sucks so hard for those kids.. At 8yo that kid already knows his mom is 304...
My daughter did the same. Crying for her mom. Now my daughter don’t care we’re she’s at. Ex broke the bond
You are so pathetic
I had this same issue way back:
I was poor and moved in with this rather nice woman who was 7 years older than me. She had a 9yr daughter.
After around 1 year she started to go out partying with female single friends who also had kids in the same agerange.. i was too scared to set bounderies, cause i hadnt saved up enough money yet to move out and rent my own place. Eventually i did break it up with her and moved (i had already secured my new place to live, incase she all of a sudden throw me out the door).
I was kinda proud of myself.
Never looked at single moms since.
Anyone in a situation like this (man or woman) who needs help with what to do, CANNOT BE HELPED!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are right about setting boundaries with your wife, I ignored my ex’s affair with the neighbour and I regret it because I stayed with her when I should have left her and started over again.
It's absolutely amazing what some people deal with.
No way. First, she’s cheating, guaranteed. Second, you’re her free babysitter. Dump her or you’re both losers.
Exactly correct! Guys , man up. Set those boundaries................... Just do it.
Don’t Walk Away Run Away!!!!!!
1) Although she is not single, she frequently visits environments designed for singles, often involving alcohol. Common sense suggests that this could lead to unintended consequences. It is akin to placing your hand close to a flame; eventually, you are likely to get burned.
2) The crux of the matter is as follows: if she truly valued you and the relationship, she would not continuously seek out social activities without you. She would prefer spending her time with YOU, dressing to impress YOU, and enjoying drinks with YOU. If these are not her priorities, it might indicate that she has emotionally exited the relationship a while ago and is merely going through the motions, perhaps benefiting from something you offer, such as free babysitting(paying mortgage), while she enjoys her outings.
3) Actions speak louder than words. It is crucial not to ignore or let others persuade you to overlook your gut intuition. If something feels off to you, it’s an instinctual warning, echoing the experiences of your ancestors, thru your DNA, alerting you to potential issues. Don’t ignore them or let society teach you that you need to ignore them for “modern times”.
4) Read above one more time.
I feel like a night out with the girls once in while isn't an issue per se. I think you really have the evaluate the whole relationship and ask why she's doing it? It may not be for nefarious reasons.
But she has to give you the same courtesy and let you go out with your friends and be around other women (just platonically).
Great post ! The other issue is that people need to find healthier options for social life , like hiking, gym, etc.
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!! BOUNDARIES 100%
A line from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is applicable to a lot of these situations. When Ferris is doing a monologue about his friend Cameron, he says that Cameron will probably marry the first girl he gets with and she’ll treat him like crap because he’s going to put her up on a pedestal because he doesn’t know any better. Even if it’s not a guy’s first ever relationship, dudes will put these girls up on pedestals and not enforce boundaries just because he finds her sexy. We can’t give up our boundaries for someone else’s convenience. As Ferris says “she won’t respect him. Because you can’t respect someone that kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.”
Damn there were red pill truth bombs in Ferris Bueller....
1 min into this and I say Leave town, Cut and Run. Don't let her Hook you for Child Support for acting as a parent to her kids. Man what is this guy thinking -- even looks like a set up.
Another one of these stunning and brave queens that'll soon be on a RUclips cop cam video.
She'll be filming an Instagram or Tiktok video telling how middle aged men are not macho enough.
Question: does the same rule apply to a 52-year-old woman who has two kids in their early 20s, but she still goes out every single weekend going to clubs, dancing, parties, whatever, as if she was still in her 20s as well?
Bro
What to do? LEAVE - multiple red flags - no - ALL the red flags
Danger!, Danger!, Will Robinson!
Not only bottom line needs to be in place and enforced.
If she *likes* to cross it, if she shows interest in crossing it, consider it is half crossed and look elsewhere. As you are not on the same page.
Anything you hold artificially by force is destined to fail.
In this case she has to be the one not to look for external validation and have you as enough.
You can enforce rules for her not to go out, but the damage is already there, by the fact she, on her own, is looking for it. So the battle is already lost.
My girl had a friend like this who she stopped talking to after she found out about this..
Her man was at home with their three kids and she had went out for a friend’s birthday but actually used it as an excuse to find this guy she’d been talking to online who was a DJ. They slept together behind the club, no protection. She went home that night and her partner slept with her too (imagine if he went down town too). The DJ texted her a week later saying he had chlamydia and she should probably get checked out. Absolutely disgusting…
Do you know that in a situation like that she could get pregnant with fraternal twins with different fathers? It's common in mammals witj large broods that sleep arpund.
"What can I do?"
Lol!
I made this mistake years ago with ex wife, turns she had had multiple affairs! You are right on! I didn’t want to be controlling etc! I knew she would be a complete bitch if she didn’t go out! I’m glad she is in my past! Joe
0:18 - two kids, not his. Dude…….WALK TF AWAY!
Wo! "Hire Slowly, Fire Quickly" as Rich wrote about. Good advise. My spin? "Hire slowly, and Fire Instantly" when it comes to red flags like that. Buddy that's an instant $h1T canning situation. BOOT! Thanks for posting. Enjoying your book. Keep up the good work.
some guys will do anything for a piece, even if they have to ignore their gut
Someone should start a college course on female nature, marriage and divorce laws. Sit back and watch the female population go crazy.
Man up, control your emotions and walk away! You already know it is not going to work.
Setting boundaries was the hardest thing for me.
I really struggled to do it and it was even hard to enforce them.
Now 2 years later, they are easy to enforce and set. I set the same ones for pretty much everybody. Was it hard to start doing? Yes, like moving a mountain. Is it hard now? Nope, I respect myself too much to let ANYONE walk all over me.
Spot on! I have a friend in a similar situation. I will definitely be sharing this video with him.
Guy should grow a pair and leave... or at least establish boundaries
“I don’t know what to do” - says the doormat
She doesn't respect him....leave her
Gone is also a complete word
This is absurd. Save this man!
Recently, I dated a 34 year old woman (going through a divorce, no children) who wants to relive her (partying) 20s. Mixed signals. Words and behavior didn't match. At least one male orbiter. I politely distanced myself and then ended it. People show you who they are in time: 2-3 months. If someone is really into you and ready for a relationship, you're together -- not wondering. Never, and I repeat, never, settle for less than what you deserve from a partner.
Wait but if she didn't have kids why weren't you guys partying together.
@@drugin4168 Hi. While I'm not a mental health professional, my take is that she exhibits an avoidant attachment style.
Walk away and she'll straighten up, if not... it's not your problem.
Make a plan and move out.
She should stop and you need to set clear boundaries or just leave the relationship… I am a woman 👩🏾 and a single mom
Even 18-22 year old college girls getting this drunk and going wild at parties is gross, but at 35 with kids and a loving boyfriend who is not invited? Shameful. She's hanging out with college dudes, and they are not talking about philosophy.
Get out of that....fast...college parties have crazy stuff that go on. A mature person wouldn't want to hang around moronic 20 somethings anyway. I hated it even why I was that age. Something doesn’t add up.
Love story time with Rich 💥 🏎
The same thing happened to a friend of mine. I tried to warn him. In the end, she left him for other men (plural). It left him devastated, took him years to get over it, and trust again. He was also screwed up because he got emotionally attached to the kid😮
my ex likes salsa dancing, she met another guy 4 months after the wedding. I have rejected a couple women since because they like to go out salsa dancing, go, but i will not play that game again
Rich made some excellent points. Be firm. Don’t let people walk over you. Have self respect for yourself and others will either obey or go their separate ways.
I don’t know what to do? Try stop ignoring the parade of red flag marching past you. Showing that she both has a drinking problem AND is cheating on you.
Also seek help to find out why you think so little of yourself and have such poor boundaries that you tolerate her sticking you with HER kids (not yours) until 4 AM while she gets drunk and acts out in Lord Knows what other ways….
Just a thought.
I hope the letter is fake
Sounds fishy. She got married young and had kids with first husband. Kids should be in their teens by now. Not needing babysitting. OP is making things up or leaving info out.
External validation: that's a real answer right there.
you just pay her the surgery, buy her the new land rover , give her your house etc if you still love her❤
I fell for that when I was married, and how I found out she was cheating on me - divorced her ass
At most id give this woman a brief lecture before walking out. You’re a babysitter beta. The new low. 😂. Im married and there’s no way I’d put up with that one time.
What a fool
Been there done that!, but I was the guy she partied with while her kids were at the parents place. She ended up cheating anyways cause that’s partying!, it’s the cockcarousel!, so it’s only a matter of time till she cheats!, not a question of if or even boundaries. She’ll pretend to keep the boundaries and be doing it behind your back on a dating app!, trust me!, I was that guy she was with. If she wants to party!, she wants to cheat!, and she’ll do whatever she wants to do whether you like it or not!,
@4:32 "She ended up cheating on him." No way!!!! (snarc)
As I once heard: The only way you become a doormat is you have to lie down first.
Some men just overgiving in silly ways.
This guy is weak
Yes
She gets ploughed by Uni chads. This guy needs to leave ASAP.
Run. These women don't give a S about you. Bail on her...call CPS. Those poor kids. Tragic.
There’s no question that if I woman leaves you with her kids and yours to go and “party” she is getting hammered by other blokes . Don’t even try to argue with her. Pack your bags and leave immediately!
Dude's gotta be trolling :D
What’s with this culture of women? I ran a high end night club and restaurant venue in Scottsdale, Arizona back in the 1990’s. I saw the rising tribe of women in there 30’s and 40’s partying till the late hours of the night like they were still part of a sorority. And the bachelorette parties were positively vile, way grosser than some of the bachelor parties I’ve seen over the years. I also worked for years in places like this in England and it’s even worse their.
Wtf is wrong with this guy...?