I’m 64 and was married with two beautiful children abd came out at 26 . Now my girls are grown up and i have 4 wonderful grandchildren . I had several long term relationships but met the love of my life at 52 and he was 29 & we have been together since 🩷
This was a great episode. I could relate to Andy very well, being 69 and trying to find my place in the gay community. I was outed by a niece who spotted me coming out of a gay bar. I'm not accepted by most of my family, and old friends because they are conservative Christian. Trying to find new friends in the community that I can relate too. Thanks Keegan and Joel for starting this podcast, it is so helpful to us who are continuing to find our way.
Hello my brother, I was grateful to read your comment. I too am 69 and because I am a clergyman, have stayed in the closet in ministry although I've been open to various folks in my life, including family members. Most of my family are good with me, a handful are not. In the recent years I'm revealing my queerness because I've just seen far too many people suffering under the weight of being part of the LGBTQ community and now, as a clergyman, I want to stand with them and maybe bring some healing if there is a need. So I stand with you my brother.
I don't know if it's harder to come out of the closet in your 50s than if you do it much earlier, but it's in any case very satisfying. I'm 56 and came out to my family and friends just a year ago and they celebrated like there was no tomorrow. The panic of hurting my 85 year old mother and her 88 year old husband, whom I adore, very conservative thinking, was what paralyzed me the most for so long, but everyone's reaction was wonderful. No criticism, no reproach for not telling sooner. I am still pinching myself.
Firstly amazing story, I’m so glad for you. Regarding what’s harder I think there’s no answer. At different stages in life there are different tribulations and worries regarding coming out. I think anyone who says one is easier isn’t really listening to all ages. I love your story in the best way, you can advocate for a group that are severely prejudiced in the community!
@@nikkster01 You know, it's funny that the only person who apparently knew the possibility was there was my oldest friend, whom I've known since I was ten years old. He reminded me of something I had totally forgotten. He told me that over twenty years ago he commented to me that if I ever decided to come out of the closet, to tell him no problem. Perhaps for my family and other friends the possibility was not even on their minds because I had had relationships with women and had even been married to one.
How awesome is Andy! To go from being clammy hands worried being outed to being on social media out and proud. Good for him. Keegan thanks for helping Andy in his process. That’s what we all need to do is help others in our lives
As a 63 yrs young gay man I found this topic so relatable. I was married to my highschool sweetheart at 18 yrs old back in 1979. I knew I was gay then but was convinced by my clergy that it was a mental illness that could eventually be cured. So I suppressed those feelings deep inside me and remained in the closet almost my entire life only coming out 4 yrs ago. By then I had been married 40 yrs and had 3 adult children. Coming out to my wife and Chidren was the most stressful experience of my life. Luckily for me they were all very compassionate and supportive. I have been blessed with good health and keep myself very fit. But I still am learning to navigate my way through the gay community. I prefer smaller intimate settings vs Bars and Clubs so I find it challenging to meet men for friendship or dating. My hope is that one day I will meet someone that is compatible to share my life with. I also want to thank you both for starting this excellent podcast. The topics and information you share has really helped me with this new journey I am on! Best wishes from Ohio, USA. 💙💙
Sorry, but you're married 40 years with 3 kids, that's bisexual. I am genuinely gay, I had no choice, you did. You're not gay, you're bisexual. Now argue with me.
How sad for your ex wife.....who undoubtedly has PTSD and lifelong trust issues now. So very sad how supportive everyone is for the gay coming out...but leave the wife in shambles. Good 4 u I guess?
OMG...every question that I had in mind for him and was going to bring up in the comment section was answered minutes later - whether you guys asked or he himself brought it up! This was an amazing way to start the interview part of your podcast...I absolutely enjoyed it! You guys are excellent and seemed so experienced with interviewing - this is going to be a great season! So happy to be part of the HHH family!
Stellar episode! Andy was amazing! Perfect choice, so well-spoken but not "practiced", really boosts the message. Hope you guys keep the "normal guy" trend, I like it 😊.
I really appreciate Andy sharing his thoughts and apprehension of coming out. Something we can all relate to. I'm glad, after he started reaching out, he realized that he was not alone and he had support. It's a different process for everyone but we all had the same fears. I wish Andy all the best on his journey.
You may be 52, Andy, but your experience is relatable and ageless. I came out several years ago now and no one tells you what is next after that... cuz it's not just "happily ever after." It IS challenging for me too and I am 23! I appreciate the sincerity and safety of this channel. Thanks you x Evviva il processo! Evviva l'amore!!
I just finished watching your podcast and I have to say what a great episode this was and Andy was an amazing first guest. It was nice to have the voice and experience of an older gay male talk about his coming out. Kudos to Andy and to both of you for bringing these episodes to us every week. Yes, there are people like me/us who can relate. Unfortunately I never got to come out to my parents as they passed away years ago. I think they would have been accepting, but I will never know. But loved the topics and all the subject matter you covered and also for offering great tips and suggestions. Thumbs up J&K! 👍❤👍
Love it love it love it. I came out at 61 last year so can relate to a lot of what Andy said. My family - kids and step kids included - and friends were totally shocked but only one negative response, but I put that down more to my daughter’s alcoholism. Played rugby for 40 plus years at the same club and mates there have been amazing. Great work guys, special thanks to Andy for being you ❤️🏉🌈🏉
Andy’s journey is so relatable. I came out to my niece who is also gay at 48. I was so tired of hiding and when I did it a small bit of weight came off of me. As time had gone on, roughly a year. I finally came out to my mom and sister and then my children. I know it was hard all of them to accept but the pain, anger, and shame I felt melted away. Our relationships are so much better. I’ve not found that community of friends yet but I know I will. I finally went to one of the local gay bars in my hometown and I felt at home. I know now that coming out was the best thing I ever did. I know and understand the fear of losing everyone and being rejected and alone. It didn’t happen for me. And I’m very grateful. Anyone out there that watched or listened to this podcast. Never give up hope. ❤❤❤
I think the journey to self-acceptance is lifelong, be it our sexuality, aspects of persona and self, the "disappointment" of not achieving what we hoped for or set out to do. Dealing with shame that has been buried deeply in our psyches is a universal challenge for all human beings but some are overwhelmed by this and live life in its shadow. The best we can hope for is to be able to say (probably on our deathbeds) that "I did my best, I treated others kindly, I tried to be courageous when I was called to be, I was humble and did not judge others on their journey". Wishing you the best for the future Andy!
It’s lovely to see the Dr on here having come out. Shame it takes some people so long though. I came out in 1992 as a 21 year old. I am so glad I did that and didn’t hide. If you are scared please remember to out yourself first and do it as life is too short. Good luck
Andy, you are awesome. The great key to finding your own gay family is just to remember that gay people are just ordinary people who happen to be attracted to their own sex. Other than that we are all drawn to others who share our interests and values. Gay people are all just as different as anyone else. It’s comforting to know you have a mutual understanding about attraction, but finding your tribe will be more about your interests and beliefs than who you have sex with. All the best moving forward
Well done andy. A real reminder of how harmful the media messaging of the 80s and 90s was, and section 28 etc. I’m glad you’re flourishing now and you have a nice garden that will bring all the butterflies to your yard.
A lovely episode boys, my first time watching. So many points generated in this interview and as a 56 year old gay guy I can/do relate. I was 16 when I came out, went to gay "youth support" groups which sometimes got immediately cancelled and we all had to run literally for our lives to escape from Greek/Italian "poofter basher" youth who were quite prepared to hurt/kill us! (The police turned a blind eye...) They were the days! lol. Things are somewhat different now (thankfully). So happy for Andy - lovely that he has found support. The UK is maybe more accepting gay community for us "oldies"? Here in Australia ageism IS a thing as is body shape. The American Tribe thing is also growing here. I'm not in the wilds of the community much these days as I have a partner (of 21 years) and we tend to just enjoy our lives together so I'm thankful that I don't have to "fit in" a community "box". I sincerely hope that Andy continues to grow in acceptance and finds all the happiness that he deserves having been compressed for so many years. *hugs*
Honorary Homo here, I am glad you’re introducing guests to your podcast. Thoroughly enjoyed it and Andy was a great guest. Enjoyed the convo. Great episode ❤❤❤❤
What a wonderful and educational video! Kudos to Andy for being so open about his coming out story. Going for counselling before and during coming out is a great takeaway. ❤️
I really enjoyed this. This person is roughly the same age as me (I'm 57) and I came out in the 1980s because I fell in love with my current husband in 1988. But I fully understand that Andy the fear of AIDS and the need to stay in the closet during that time. He seems very grounded and if he focuses on being happy whether he's single or partnered, he will enjoy his life to the fullest!
Thank you so much for sharing your story Dr. Andy, it was very inspirational. Joel and Keegan this podcast is such a gift to our community, thank you so much!
I didn't even know what a podcast was! (actually, I dont think I still know - what is it?). 55 years old, just started the process of coming out as my true self...very challenging for wife, kids, family. Will be working through this process for a long time I imagine. I know I need to realise who I really am, even if it means I never have a gay relationship, I need to finally be true to those around me who mean so much.
Excellent episode! Andy was a great first choice... relatable and articulate. Also appreciate his reinforcing the fact that counseling was integral in sorting out and through not only his coming out but ongoing journey. Again, excellent!
An excellent interview with this articulate gentleman. Truly appreciate your reflection, insights, and desire to talk about meaningful matters in our world. ❤️👏
I've just recently discovered your podcast here in Indiana, USA. Your guest on this podcast made me think of how fortunate I was with my coming out process. I am 72 years old and came out in 1973 at 21. I knew from a very young age that I was gay and decided to come out and let the chips fall where they may. Guess what, no chips fell (well my dad wasn't thrilled). It was never an issue with my very large family, work, friends etc. I am happy your guest was able to join our community and I wish him all the best. David
Thank you guys for working to have this platform and conversation letting others see there are different experiences to be part of the same community. Yes we're Gay which gives us a common point to relate but the individual unique journey we each must travel is not as difficult when we see that we still have comrades in arms around us to help. If I ever get the opportunity to make it over to the mother land of England I hope to get a chance to attend an event where you guys are involved.
Thanks for having such a wonderful first guest with Andy. He has such a remarkable story and spoke with such honesty and openess that I know others who face what he did will be more comfortable to be their authentic selves. While I always knew I was gay, I came out at 60 after two marriages to women. Now I've just turned 77, and I'm still trying to find my way in the gay world as a single senior who's very healthy, fit and a halfmarathon runner. Perhaps having a program about coping with being alone past 65 might help many of your viewers, too. At any rate, I very much enjoy both of you and deeply apprecialy.te your sharing of your lives with us, your extended family
I know a man who came out in his late 50s and it was difficult on his wife who didn’t expect it and a surprise to his adult kids. He seems so much happier now and I’m glad he doesn’t feel like he needs to hide anymore. I can’t imagine living that long feeling like you have to pretend you are straight in order to feel accepted by family, work peers and your religion which was why he waited so long. I hope this video/podcast helps others that might be in the same boat.
In the year 2000, a group of us gay fathers formed the support group, Gay Dads Scotland to provide friendship and support for men. GDS still provides this vital role. We all need friends and those who come out later need them perhaps even more. You're doing a great job with this series.
I married and had two sons before I sorted it out and came out at 46 …. Best thing I ever did in my life… now 66 and happy as, even though I’m single. The only people I was actually concerned about coming out to was my boys and they took it in there stride so I haven’t looked back.
You guys are awesome. Keegan. I love seeing your authentic vulnerable side. It is enduring. If you ever want to have a Canadian gay on your podcast, I am in like. Flynn. My strength is talk about CPSTD, Neurobiology of trauma us gays can experience as kids and how it can hang on through adulthood and how to help ourselves thrive even as adults when these past experiences can try to keep us locked up in our past.
this was a great episode I am 64 and came out 5 years a go and the fear of judgment and rejection was so great that I put my gay side in a box for a very long time . I am part of the West Indian community very christian but when I was 20 I found I was attracted to man for a long time did not accept it myself I got married had 3 kids ho are now all grow up I came out to my wife first. I am still finding out more about myself. my family are so accepting all of them I feel so lucky.
What a lovely mature gentleman! Breath of fresh air! Joel was very quite during that interview i bet he was bursting inside as he loves to talk like myself. I like being in a tribe i am a Bear and i think its all a bit of fun really. I talk to lots of different tribes, all varied backgrounds get yourself involved getting involved with different tribes or non tribes it is great fun.
Excellent interview! Yes, I’m a 62 years old gay man. Have come out to the wife several years back, working the situation out-cause we have a daughter, and I need to be there until she(daughter) can properly understand my life.🤓
I just happened to stumble across your podcast and U found it to be refreshingly real and upbeat without trying. Although it was a bit off topic since I came when I was quite young, 16 years old and have been until recently in a 27 years long term relatiinship yet I was able to relate to yoyr guest's fears about coming out. He and our are closer in age so it eas interesting t9 hear his perceptions now that he's embracing self love yet challenged with the age old question of,"where do I fit in." On the topic of ageism having come out myself so young I had deal with older men approaching and often propostionimg me throighout most life. I vaguely recall witnessing firsthand someone close t9 my age being nasty towatds an older guy who had approached him in what I thought then was a very nice and polite and complimemtary way. Unfortunately the reaction of my friemd wss just so cruel and unjustified. I was embarassed for the older gentleman and I was embarassed to be associated with anyone who could cruel and lacking in empathy. Needless to say after confronting "my friend" who completely minimized his behavior and claimed that the old guy shoukd know better. I dropped him immediately and had no further contact with him. That's just not within me to treat anyone so unkindly inhumanely. I told my friend, by grace of God go I which fell on his deaf ears. That was when I was single some 27 yeaes ago. I never thought I would be single agajn this late in life. I've a very rich fulfilling life. I own a very successful openly gay owned business in the gayborhood so you'd think this woukd be easy for me but it has not been. In America it seems that some think that bejng ageist is en vogue. There seems to be no shame whatsoever. I'm fit, tall and lean and told kften how goodlooking I am but that's all superficial. Speaking of which it's been a challenge dating because once someone knowd my name they can google and there's of interviews and information about yet I'm not afforded the same opportunity to vheck out the person so extensively because many guys there's only their social media accounts. I guess this is the new reality of how much the world has changed since I was single. I apologize for getting off topic but I mention this becsuse I really wish you guys would consider doing a podcast on these topics. Thank you sooo much for your podcast. I liked and subscribed without even hesitation!
Thanks for a good video. I live in Australia and was married to my accepting wife for 51 years and cared for her with MS for 26 years before she passed. Both my adult kids son and daughter are fairly accepting. I am gay, medically proven. I was a Baptist Pastor years ago, but been totally rejected by them and told I am not welcome to even attend church. I never was. I am not really part of the gay community and I don't drink. I am not too keen to find a partner. Too old now. I am 76 and I powerwalk about 11,000 steps almost every day. I do enjoy listening to your stories and I really admire your lovely relationship. So normal. Its great.
After years of repressing my true sexuality, with the help of my psychiatrist, I came out as gay at 60 right after my birthday. I will be 62 this October and am enjoying life for the first time. Never give up hope that you can change. I love this broadcast, Keegan and Joel are wonderful conversationalists.
Amazing episode, I just love Andy, I want to be his friend, he’s so down to earth! 🙂 This wasn’t mentioned, but I wonder if any of his patients have found out that he’s gay, and has it hurt his business at all? Hopefully not, but I was curious. And it might be difficult to find someone willing, but could you maybe try to have a guest come on (no specific age) whose family member(s) didn’t accept their sexuality? It would be a tough topic/episode for sure, but I know it can often happen, and any tips for dealing with that could potentially help a lot of your viewers. Just a thought, love you guys and what you’re doing, and keep it up with the guests, this first one was fab! ❤❤❤
Awesome episode! First time I heard about this show and I’m hooked up! Just subscribed to both RUclips and the the actual podcast! Looking forward to listen to other episodes! As a gay man in my late 50’s but always out, I have always struggled coming out directly with family and friends and colleagues. Today I’m glad to say I live a happy healthy homo life! However, lately I’ve met several married straight acting sometimes Bi guys in their 30’s and 40’s that for whatever reason they feel attracted to me (of course I’m happy to play with them, twist my arm! Lol) so I’m very curious to find out what they are looking for and above all, why they want to live a “discreet” life style. Particularly in 2023….anyhow, you guys are awesome! And Very handsome! Greetings from Connecticut, New England USA 🇺🇸
I too came out openly gay at age 50. I was happily forced into that because 4 years earlier I had met a man and fallen deeply in love with him as time went on and knew that I had met the love of my life and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Ironically I proposed to him before I came out. So I finally told my family and friends that I was gay and also - surprise - I'm also engaged to be married! I really didn't have anything to worry about because my family and friends have been absolutely amazing and my husband and I are enjoying living life together!!
I know it's harder when you are older, I just did a bit of a workout, exclusively glutes...!! and a week later I'm still so sore. It's going to be a long haul if I have a week break in between lol
I enjoyed and appreciate this episode a lot. I started attempting to date men last year at 53. Things started out well then have completed dried up which has been frustrating. I’m someone who didn’t really date women so I’m very confused about how to allow myself to be attracted to and attractive to men. And, I’ve denied the sexual part of myself for so long it’s just not clear how to turn that on. Any advice is welcomed.
I think I understand where you're at ,so you're not alone mate . I'm not really in a position for advice but my thoughts at the moment are this. 1- Find a trusty wingman or girlfriend (with a positive healthy outlook) that you can talk openly with about sex , preferences , curiosities ,inc. any awkwardness or fears. 2- Begin to swap out "I'm very confused" for "Yap I'm on a quest to find out something about myself " 3- Make mistakes because that's how you find out things . 4- The first thing to allow yourself is a "No pressure Mate " grace period It's Ok to be inquisitive until you find yourself - Whatever your age .. as long as you're being safe and respectful to yourself and others . That's what I reckon anyway. A friend of mine hired a hooker when he first came out..he said they've been great mates for 25 years . It's probably a bit different for everyone. and BTW thanks for reminding me to do all this . 😃🥰😁🌎🎁🗝🫂⛹🚴🧑🦼🧍♀👸🕵👩🚀👷👨🚒🧑🎄👨🎓👨⚕🐒🐣🐸🍊🗽🚑🏝🍺🌻👨👩👧👦👨👨👧👦👫👬etc.💞
I think that it can be hard when you get older because I came out when I was 19, and I went through my 20s and 30s and felt by my late 30s that I was out of place on the gay scene. Ageism is very common. I didn't find most older guys attractive and I didn't want to be a sugar daddy... If you come out older you really need a support group because at least you can share your experiences.
I have no real coming out story to tell. I’m very blessed that way. But, being a person of colour and in my mid 50s, I find it’s a challenge to find a long lasting relationship. I’ve been in a 10 years relationship before. We parted ways amicably. We are still very good as families on both sides. Again, we are blessed in that way. I’m not really into dating apps and really would love to meet someone I can call forever love through the age old meetings in physical social contexts/situations. I suppose this might be too much in this day and age and that I’m just too out of touch?
I am 54 years old and I am considering coming out within the next twelve months. I discovered I was gay when I was 18, I had two sexual encounters with other men in my 20s, and I have lived a sex- free and relation-free life since then. I always told my Mum and late Dad I was straight, partly because I suffered from sexual fluidity from my mid-20s onwards. But I found I was still sexually attracted to men rather than women. My Dad died last year and I regret not telling him how I felt. Mum is still alive, so I know I must tell her before it’s too late. Thank you.
Loved this episode. I definitely can relate to your conversations especially around the tribes being a 55 yr old that doesn't really relate to one group. By the way Andy your fit and sexy ☺️
Ted B from Hillsboro, Oregon (don't have instagram account) I still have to chuckle when someone in their 50's during one of our support group meetings says that they are too old to come out ... what would be the point? I came out at the age of 80 ... you heard correctly ... 80!! That was three years ago, and the last three years have been the most wonderful years of my life. Not as easy for my wife of more than 60 years, but we're working on it. I see no reason why we can't get to a place where both of us have some level of comfort and security without having to sacrifice our individuality. I am very active in my gay community, with male friends for the first time in my life. I honestly had no idea I was gay ... there were questions I couldn't answer, but how could I be gay? ... married for 60 years with four children and 3 grandchildren? I was ambushed by my own feelings and emotions for months after coming out ... even had a meltdown in a grocery store similar to what Andy mentioned. Most of my life is stellar at this point ... the math doesn't work, but I think I am probably 150% gay. I am very visible, wearing pride shirts wherever I go ... I want to provoke questions, and I am most willing to answer any question openly, honestly and with full transparency. I spent the first 80 years of my life invisible, and I have no intention of being invisible any longer. Hearing Andy was like a breath of fresh air. Thanks for this wonder episode!
How can someone be in their 50s and those around him not know? I look at this man, and my first thought is that he is gay. As for Andy wondering who he is in the gay community, it would be the same in any community. He is Andy. Putting no pressure on who you are is very helpful. Just be Andy.
I came out at the age of 48. I can’t say it was any different than being in the closet. I didn’t meet an amazing group of people, and I didn’t meet the love of my life and I didn’t even make friends, regardless of how many groups I joined or how many events I attended. When people say “it gets better“ they should end it with “sometimes. It’s been nothing but a lonely life. Fortunately, it’s going to come to an end in three months, so i have that to look forward to.
Good episode, just choose carefully who you confide in. I did with my cousin… little did I know she was relaying everything back to her Mother and sending screen shots to my elderly Mother ! When I caught her out she played the victim card. Choose carefully, but 7 years later I’m glad I did it finally.
I understand why you chose Andy - articulate and charming with great understanding of the experience ♥️ 👍 well covered
Glad you enjoyed it! Yeah Andy is brilliant!!
I’m 64 and was married with two beautiful children abd came out at 26 . Now my girls are grown up and i have 4 wonderful grandchildren . I had several long term relationships but met the love of my life at 52 and he was 29 & we have been together since 🩷
Good for you, but you are bisexual. I don't get hard for women. I'm gay, not you.
Good for you.
But this episode is about coming out, isn't it?
That's wonderful. Stay happy and healthy together.
This was a great episode. I could relate to Andy very well, being 69 and trying to find my place in the gay community. I was outed by a niece who spotted me coming out of a gay bar. I'm not accepted by most of my family, and old friends because they are conservative Christian. Trying to find new friends in the community that I can relate too. Thanks Keegan and Joel for starting this podcast, it is so helpful to us who are continuing to find our way.
Hello my brother, I was grateful to read your comment. I too am 69 and because I am a clergyman, have stayed in the closet in ministry although I've been open to various folks in my life, including family members. Most of my family are good with me, a handful are not. In the recent years I'm revealing my queerness because I've just seen far too many people suffering under the weight of being part of the LGBTQ community and now, as a clergyman, I want to stand with them and maybe bring some healing if there is a need. So I stand with you my brother.
Being gay is easy. Straight people make being gay hard. Live your authentic life as God intended. Not how Straight people would like it to be.
Well you're the perfect age for it 😂
I don't know if it's harder to come out of the closet in your 50s than if you do it much earlier, but it's in any case very satisfying. I'm 56 and came out to my family and friends just a year ago and they celebrated like there was no tomorrow. The panic of hurting my 85 year old mother and her 88 year old husband, whom I adore, very conservative thinking, was what paralyzed me the most for so long, but everyone's reaction was wonderful. No criticism, no reproach for not telling sooner. I am still pinching myself.
That's incredible! And what an amazing story of hope for those who are worried about coming out to their families!
Firstly amazing story, I’m so glad for you. Regarding what’s harder I think there’s no answer. At different stages in life there are different tribulations and worries regarding coming out. I think anyone who says one is easier isn’t really listening to all ages. I love your story in the best way, you can advocate for a group that are severely prejudiced in the community!
and how many of them said awww we knew that we were just waiting for you to tell us
@@nikkster01 You know, it's funny that the only person who apparently knew the possibility was there was my oldest friend, whom I've known since I was ten years old. He reminded me of something I had totally forgotten. He told me that over twenty years ago he commented to me that if I ever decided to come out of the closet, to tell him no problem. Perhaps for my family and other friends the possibility was not even on their minds because I had had relationships with women and had even been married to one.
Were you in a relationship with a woman leading up to it? Do you have kids?
How awesome is Andy! To go from being clammy hands worried being outed to being on social media out and proud. Good for him. Keegan thanks for helping Andy in his process. That’s what we all need to do is help others in our lives
As a 63 yrs young gay man I found this topic so relatable. I was married to my highschool sweetheart at 18 yrs old back in 1979. I knew I was gay then but was convinced by my clergy that it was a mental illness that could eventually be cured. So I suppressed those feelings deep inside me and remained in the closet almost my entire life only coming out 4 yrs ago. By then I had been married 40 yrs and had 3 adult children. Coming out to my wife and Chidren was the most stressful experience of my life. Luckily for me they were all very compassionate and supportive. I have been blessed with good health and keep myself very fit. But I still am learning to navigate my way through the gay community. I prefer smaller intimate settings vs Bars and Clubs so I find it challenging to meet men for friendship or dating. My hope is that one day I will meet someone that is compatible to share my life with. I also want to thank you both for starting this excellent podcast. The topics and information you share has really helped me with this new journey I am on! Best wishes from Ohio, USA. 💙💙
Sorry, but you're married 40 years with 3 kids, that's bisexual. I am genuinely gay, I had no choice, you did. You're not gay, you're bisexual. Now argue with me.
Hey Mr. genuinely gay, no argument from me, you have it all figured out! 💙
How sad for your ex wife.....who undoubtedly has PTSD and lifelong trust issues now. So very sad how supportive everyone is for the gay coming out...but leave the wife in shambles. Good 4 u I guess?
An amazing struggle …. Peace and love upon you all 🙏🙏🙏
OMG...every question that I had in mind for him and was going to bring up in the comment section was answered minutes later - whether you guys asked or he himself brought it up! This was an amazing way to start the interview part of your podcast...I absolutely enjoyed it! You guys are excellent and seemed so experienced with interviewing - this is going to be a great season! So happy to be part of the HHH family!
LOVED THIS. I'M 81, retired professor. Amazed that lots of guys, even guys in their 20s and 30s, want to connect with an old man.
Stellar episode! Andy was amazing! Perfect choice, so well-spoken but not "practiced", really boosts the message. Hope you guys keep the "normal guy" trend, I like it 😊.
I really appreciate Andy sharing his thoughts and apprehension of coming out. Something we can all relate to. I'm glad, after he started reaching out, he realized that he was not alone and he had support. It's a different process for everyone but we all had the same fears. I wish Andy all the best on his journey.
You may be 52, Andy, but your experience is relatable and ageless. I came out several years ago now and no one tells you what is next after that... cuz it's not just "happily ever after." It IS challenging for me too and I am 23! I appreciate the sincerity and safety of this channel. Thanks you x Evviva il processo! Evviva l'amore!!
I just finished watching your podcast and I have to say what a great episode this was and Andy was an amazing first guest. It was nice to have the voice and experience of an older gay male talk about his coming out. Kudos to Andy and to both of you for bringing these episodes to us every week. Yes, there are people like me/us who can relate. Unfortunately I never got to come out to my parents as they passed away years ago. I think they would have been accepting, but I will never know. But loved the topics and all the subject matter you covered and also for offering great tips and suggestions. Thumbs up J&K! 👍❤👍
guys, I am 71 and life is good. Keep on digging as long as you breathe. And always show respect.
Love it love it love it. I came out at 61 last year so can relate to a lot of what Andy said. My family - kids and step kids included - and friends were totally shocked but only one negative response, but I put that down more to my daughter’s alcoholism. Played rugby for 40 plus years at the same club and mates there have been amazing. Great work guys, special thanks to Andy for being you ❤️🏉🌈🏉
You're bisexual.
This is my first watch of the amazing podcast. What you two are doing here is fantastic. I cant wait for the next one.
Great find !!!!! thanks for this superbe episode. i'm 49 from Montréal and happy to be part of your subscribers now ☀👍🏻
What an amazing episode,Andy,you rock,enjoy your journey, you deserve so much love and happiness ❤
Andy’s journey is so relatable. I came out to my niece who is also gay at 48. I was so tired of hiding and when I did it a small bit of weight came off of me. As time had gone on, roughly a year. I finally came out to my mom and sister and then my children. I know it was hard all of them to accept but the pain, anger, and shame I felt melted away. Our relationships are so much better. I’ve not found that community of friends yet but I know I will. I finally went to one of the local gay bars in my hometown and I felt at home. I know now that coming out was the best thing I ever did. I know and understand the fear of losing everyone and being rejected and alone. It didn’t happen for me. And I’m very grateful. Anyone out there that watched or listened to this podcast. Never give up hope. ❤❤❤
I think the journey to self-acceptance is lifelong, be it our sexuality, aspects of persona and self, the "disappointment" of not achieving what we hoped for or set out to do. Dealing with shame that has been buried deeply in our psyches is a universal challenge for all human beings but some are overwhelmed by this and live life in its shadow. The best we can hope for is to be able to say (probably on our deathbeds) that "I did my best, I treated others kindly, I tried to be courageous when I was called to be, I was humble and did not judge others on their journey". Wishing you the best for the future Andy!
Great discussion! Sharing these life stories helps so many people.
It’s lovely to see the Dr on here having come out. Shame it takes some people so long though. I came out in 1992 as a 21 year old. I am so glad I did that and didn’t hide. If you are scared please remember to out yourself first and do it as life is too short. Good luck
Andy, you are awesome. The great key to finding your own gay family is just to remember that gay people are just ordinary people who happen to be attracted to their own sex. Other than that we are all drawn to others who share our interests and values. Gay people are all just as different as anyone else. It’s comforting to know you have a mutual understanding about attraction, but finding your tribe will be more about your interests and beliefs than who you have sex with. All the best moving forward
Well done andy. A real reminder of how harmful the media messaging of the 80s and 90s was, and section 28 etc. I’m glad you’re flourishing now and you have a nice garden that will bring all the butterflies to your yard.
Great interview. Thank You. Coming from someone who came out at 57, this is a great interview. Thank You.
A lovely episode boys, my first time watching. So many points generated in this interview and as a 56 year old gay guy I can/do relate. I was 16 when I came out, went to gay "youth support" groups which sometimes got immediately cancelled and we all had to run literally for our lives to escape from Greek/Italian "poofter basher" youth who were quite prepared to hurt/kill us! (The police turned a blind eye...) They were the days! lol. Things are somewhat different now (thankfully). So happy for Andy - lovely that he has found support. The UK is maybe more accepting gay community for us "oldies"? Here in Australia ageism IS a thing as is body shape. The American Tribe thing is also growing here. I'm not in the wilds of the community much these days as I have a partner (of 21 years) and we tend to just enjoy our lives together so I'm thankful that I don't have to "fit in" a community "box". I sincerely hope that Andy continues to grow in acceptance and finds all the happiness that he deserves having been compressed for so many years. *hugs*
Honorary Homo here, I am glad you’re introducing guests to your podcast. Thoroughly enjoyed it and Andy was a great guest. Enjoyed the convo. Great episode ❤❤❤❤
Superb interview and well done to all . A great Q and A that many will relate to.xx
What a wonderful and educational video! Kudos to Andy for being so open about his coming out story. Going for counselling before and during coming out is a great takeaway. ❤️
I really enjoyed this. This person is roughly the same age as me (I'm 57) and I came out in the 1980s because I fell in love with my current husband in 1988. But I fully understand that Andy the fear of AIDS and the need to stay in the closet during that time. He seems very grounded and if he focuses on being happy whether he's single or partnered, he will enjoy his life to the fullest!
Can't wait to see your convos with guests!
Hope you enjoy it!!
So nice to see a guest on the show!
Thanks Pokhraj!
Thank you so much for sharing your story Dr. Andy, it was very inspirational. Joel and Keegan this podcast is such a gift to our community, thank you so much!
I didn't even know what a podcast was! (actually, I dont think I still know - what is it?). 55 years old, just started the process of coming out as my true self...very challenging for wife, kids, family. Will be working through this process for a long time I imagine. I know I need to realise who I really am, even if it means I never have a gay relationship, I need to finally be true to those around me who mean so much.
Excellent episode! Andy was a great first choice... relatable and articulate. Also appreciate his reinforcing the fact that counseling was integral in sorting out and through not only his coming out but ongoing journey. Again, excellent!
An excellent interview with this articulate gentleman. Truly appreciate your reflection, insights, and desire to talk about meaningful matters in our world. ❤️👏
I'm 36 and just came out. And I love your show
I've just recently discovered your podcast here in Indiana, USA. Your guest on this podcast made me think of how fortunate I was with my coming out process. I am 72 years old and came out in 1973 at 21. I knew from a very young age that I was gay and decided to come out and let the chips fall where they may. Guess what, no chips fell (well my dad wasn't thrilled). It was never an issue with my very large family, work, friends etc. I am happy your guest was able to join our community and I wish him all the best. David
Fabulously executed episode. Great job. Can't wait for all your guests now.
Thank you so much for putting yourself out there!!!
This was so wonderful to watch . All thanks to you for posting this and to Andy for telling his story .. Big hug from Sweden🤗
Thank you!
As Kylie sang, it's never too late, we've still got time...... Go Andy.❤
Very relatable and the bells are ringing. Well done Andy. You do YOU! Great podcast!
Photo shoots? As a older gay man who came out very late i really enjoyed this video. It was very reassuring.
Married with kids? You're bi, sorry.
Great interview and presentation. Thank you! And thank you so much to Andy. xoxo
Thank you guys for working to have this platform and conversation letting others see there are different experiences to be part of the same community. Yes we're Gay which gives us a common point to relate but the individual unique journey we each must travel is not as difficult when we see that we still have comrades in arms around us to help. If I ever get the opportunity to make it over to the mother land of England I hope to get a chance to attend an event where you guys are involved.
Thanks for having such a wonderful first guest with Andy. He has such a remarkable story and spoke with such honesty and openess that I know others who face what he did will be more comfortable to be their authentic selves. While I always knew I was gay, I came out at 60 after two marriages to women. Now I've just turned 77, and I'm still trying to find my way in the gay world as a single senior who's very healthy, fit and a halfmarathon runner. Perhaps having a program about coping with being alone past 65 might help many of your viewers, too. At any rate, I very much enjoy both of you and deeply apprecialy.te your sharing of your lives with us, your extended family
Thank you for the kind words....it means a lot!
I know a man who came out in his late 50s and it was difficult on his wife who didn’t expect it and a surprise to his adult kids. He seems so much happier now and I’m glad he doesn’t feel like he needs to hide anymore. I can’t imagine living that long feeling like you have to pretend you are straight in order to feel accepted by family, work peers and your religion which was why he waited so long. I hope this video/podcast helps others that might be in the same boat.
Came out as bi, because he's not gay.
In the year 2000, a group of us gay fathers formed the support group, Gay Dads Scotland to provide friendship and support for men. GDS still provides this vital role. We all need friends and those who come out later need them perhaps even more.
You're doing a great job with this series.
You're bi, sorry. I can't get it up for a female.
I married and had two sons before I sorted it out and came out at 46 …. Best thing I ever did in my life… now 66 and happy as, even though I’m single. The only people I was actually concerned about coming out to was my boys and they took it in there stride so I haven’t looked back.
You're bisexual. I never had the choice to be with a woman, I'm not attracted to them AT ALL, you are bisexual, not gay.
You guys are awesome. Keegan. I love seeing your authentic vulnerable side. It is enduring. If you ever want to have a Canadian gay on your podcast, I am in like. Flynn. My strength is talk about CPSTD, Neurobiology of trauma us gays can experience as kids and how it can hang on through adulthood and how to help ourselves thrive even as adults when these past experiences can try to keep us locked up in our past.
Congrats, pal! It was great hearing your story!
this was a great episode I am 64 and came out 5 years a go and the fear of judgment and rejection was so great that I put my gay side in a box for a very long time . I am part of the West Indian community very christian but when I was 20 I found I was attracted to man for a long time did not accept it myself I got married had 3 kids ho are now all grow up I came out to my wife first. I am still finding out more about myself. my family are so accepting all of them I feel so lucky.
Amazing first guest - amazing person. 🎉❤
What a lovely mature gentleman! Breath of fresh air! Joel was very quite during that interview i bet he was bursting inside as he loves to talk like myself.
I like being in a tribe i am a Bear and i think its all a bit of fun really.
I talk to lots of different tribes, all varied backgrounds get yourself involved getting involved with different tribes or non tribes it is great fun.
What a great episode. Andy was a fantastic guest and very open and honest. ❤
Excellent interview! Yes, I’m a 62 years old gay man. Have come out to the wife several years back, working the situation out-cause we have a daughter, and I need to be there until she(daughter) can properly understand my life.🤓
You're not gay, you're bisexual. I had NO wife and not attracted to females at all
1st time viewer of this channel. Great episode and lovely to find a UK based channel. Are you on Bluesky yet?
Great to see this. Really helpful, respectful and informative. ❤
You guys must be the nicest, polite people on the internet !!!
I just happened to stumble across your podcast and U found it to be refreshingly real and upbeat without trying. Although it was a bit off topic since I came when I was quite young, 16 years old and have been until recently in a 27 years long term relatiinship yet I was able to relate to yoyr guest's fears about coming out. He and our are closer in age so it eas interesting t9 hear his perceptions now that he's embracing self love yet challenged with the age old question of,"where do I fit in." On the topic of ageism having come out myself so young I had deal with older men approaching and often propostionimg me throighout most life. I vaguely recall witnessing firsthand someone close t9 my age being nasty towatds an older guy who had approached him in what I thought then was a very nice and polite and complimemtary way. Unfortunately the reaction of my friemd wss just so cruel and unjustified. I was embarassed for the older gentleman and I was embarassed to be associated with anyone who could cruel and lacking in empathy. Needless to say after confronting "my friend" who completely minimized his behavior and claimed that the old guy shoukd know better. I dropped him immediately and had no further contact with him. That's just not within me to treat anyone so unkindly inhumanely. I told my friend, by grace of God go I which fell on his deaf ears. That was when I was single some 27 yeaes ago. I never thought I would be single agajn this late in life. I've a very rich fulfilling life. I own a very successful openly gay owned business in the gayborhood so you'd think this woukd be easy for me but it has not been. In America it seems that some think that bejng ageist is en vogue. There seems to be no shame whatsoever. I'm fit, tall and lean and told kften how goodlooking I am but that's all superficial. Speaking of which it's been a challenge dating because once someone knowd my name they can google and there's of interviews and information about yet I'm not afforded the same opportunity to vheck out the person so extensively because many guys there's only their social media accounts. I guess this is the new reality of how much the world has changed since I was single. I apologize for getting off topic but I mention this becsuse I really wish you guys would consider doing a podcast on these topics. Thank you sooo much for your podcast. I liked and subscribed without even hesitation!
Great episode- thank you, Andy!
came out at 56 ,best thing i ever did, enormous weight off the shoulders ,all the best and much love to anyone contemplating coming out, at any age
Thanks for a good video. I live in Australia and was married to my accepting wife for 51 years and cared for her with MS for 26 years before she passed. Both my adult kids son and daughter are fairly accepting. I am gay, medically proven. I was a Baptist Pastor years ago, but been totally rejected by them and told I am not welcome to even attend church. I never was. I am not really part of the gay community and I don't drink. I am not too keen to find a partner. Too old now. I am 76 and I powerwalk about 11,000 steps almost every day. I do enjoy listening to your stories and I really admire your lovely relationship. So normal. Its great.
Glad to see him being happy now.
Brilliant story and lovely guy, all strength to you 😊
After years of repressing my true sexuality, with the help of my psychiatrist, I came out as gay at 60 right after my birthday. I will be 62 this October and am enjoying life for the first time. Never give up hope that you can change.
I love this broadcast, Keegan and Joel are wonderful conversationalists.
So happy for Andy. Looks like he is now living his best life!
Thanks mate. Really appreciated!
A great episode and looking forward to more. Andy is a Mature Gay Man.❤❤
good episode. I'm glad that Andy found,, is finding his way.
From South Africa, Potchefstroom (Town).... thank you for your quality content!!!
Hi all , great presentation as usual. Oh Let Andy know that I'll take him out for pizza if he is ever in Nj, in the United States. Great Day to all!
I live in NJ and single
NJ has the best pizza in the world
Amazing episode, I just love Andy, I want to be his friend, he’s so down to earth! 🙂 This wasn’t mentioned, but I wonder if any of his patients have found out that he’s gay, and has it hurt his business at all? Hopefully not, but I was curious. And it might be difficult to find someone willing, but could you maybe try to have a guest come on (no specific age) whose family member(s) didn’t accept their sexuality? It would be a tough topic/episode for sure, but I know it can often happen, and any tips for dealing with that could potentially help a lot of your viewers. Just a thought, love you guys and what you’re doing, and keep it up with the guests, this first one was fab! ❤❤❤
Amazing chat ❤️🔥🔥💯
Awesome episode! First time I heard about this show and I’m hooked up! Just subscribed to both RUclips and the the actual podcast! Looking forward to listen to other episodes!
As a gay man in my late 50’s but always out, I have always struggled coming out directly with family and friends and colleagues. Today I’m glad to say I live a happy healthy homo life! However, lately I’ve met several married straight acting sometimes Bi guys in their 30’s and 40’s that for whatever reason they feel attracted to me (of course I’m happy to play with them, twist my arm! Lol) so I’m very curious to find out what they are looking for and above all, why they want to live a “discreet” life style. Particularly in 2023….anyhow, you guys are awesome! And Very handsome! Greetings from Connecticut, New England USA 🇺🇸
The best video so far!
Just discovered this YT channel. Great candid discussion!
Just found your channel, good stuff! Y’all are good together, keep it up😀
Good interview guys.......❤🧡💛
Well done all!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Great show and loved Andy!!❤
Thank you!!! 🙏
I too came out openly gay at age 50. I was happily forced into that because 4 years earlier I had met a man and fallen deeply in love with him as time went on and knew that I had met the love of my life and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Ironically I proposed to him before I came out. So I finally told my family and friends that I was gay and also - surprise - I'm also engaged to be married! I really didn't have anything to worry about because my family and friends have been absolutely amazing and my husband and I are enjoying living life together!!
Congratulations, you do a beautiful job, very good even and how good it is to come out for life.
oh what a nice transformation!!
I know it's harder when you are older, I just did a bit of a workout, exclusively glutes...!! and a week later I'm still so sore. It's going to be a long haul if I have a week break in between lol
I enjoyed and appreciate this episode a lot. I started attempting to date men last year at 53. Things started out well then have completed dried up which has been frustrating. I’m someone who didn’t really date women so I’m very confused about how to allow myself to be attracted to and attractive to men. And, I’ve denied the sexual part of myself for so long it’s just not clear how to turn that on. Any advice is welcomed.
I think I understand where you're at ,so you're not alone mate .
I'm not really in a position for advice but my thoughts at the moment are this.
1- Find a trusty wingman or girlfriend (with a positive healthy outlook) that you can talk openly with about sex , preferences , curiosities ,inc. any awkwardness or fears.
2- Begin to swap out "I'm very confused" for "Yap I'm on a quest to find out something about myself "
3- Make mistakes because that's how you find out things .
4- The first thing to allow yourself is a "No pressure Mate " grace period
It's Ok to be inquisitive until you find yourself - Whatever your age .. as long as you're being safe and respectful to yourself and others .
That's what I reckon anyway.
A friend of mine hired a hooker when he first came out..he said they've been great mates for 25 years .
It's probably a bit different for everyone.
and BTW thanks for reminding me to do all this .
😃🥰😁🌎🎁🗝🫂⛹🚴🧑🦼🧍♀👸🕵👩🚀👷👨🚒🧑🎄👨🎓👨⚕🐒🐣🐸🍊🗽🚑🏝🍺🌻👨👩👧👦👨👨👧👦👫👬etc.💞
I think that it can be hard when you get older because I came out when I was 19, and I went through my 20s and 30s and felt by my late 30s that I was out of place on the gay scene. Ageism is very common. I didn't find most older guys attractive and I didn't want to be a sugar daddy... If you come out older you really need a support group because at least you can share your experiences.
I have no real coming out story to tell. I’m very blessed that way.
But, being a person of colour and in my mid 50s, I find it’s a challenge to find a long lasting relationship. I’ve been in a 10 years relationship before. We parted ways amicably. We are still very good as families on both sides. Again, we are blessed in that way. I’m not really into dating apps and really would love to meet someone I can call forever love through the age old meetings in physical social contexts/situations. I suppose this might be too much in this day and age and that I’m just too out of touch?
Great to here a reference from a man of colour.
6:27 Completely unrelated to the topic. But I love when your two laughs are in sync.
I am 54 years old and I am considering coming out within the next twelve months. I discovered I was gay when I was 18, I had two sexual encounters with other men in my 20s, and I have lived a sex- free and relation-free life since then. I always told my Mum and late Dad I was straight, partly because I suffered from sexual fluidity from my mid-20s onwards. But I found I was still sexually attracted to men rather than women. My Dad died last year and I regret not telling him how I felt. Mum is still alive, so I know I must tell her before it’s too late. Thank you.
Well done!
Never found my place. Never did, never will.
You guys are awesome!
What a nice guy. So refreshing in the gay world. Sorry but true.
Loved this episode. I definitely can relate to your conversations especially around the tribes being a 55 yr old that doesn't really relate to one group.
By the way Andy your fit and sexy ☺️
Ted B from Hillsboro, Oregon (don't have instagram account) I still have to chuckle when someone in their 50's during one of our support group meetings says that they are too old to come out ... what would be the point? I came out at the age of 80 ... you heard correctly ... 80!! That was three years ago, and the last three years have been the most wonderful years of my life. Not as easy for my wife of more than 60 years, but we're working on it. I see no reason why we can't get to a place where both of us have some level of comfort and security without having to sacrifice our individuality. I am very active in my gay community, with male friends for the first time in my life. I honestly had no idea I was gay ... there were questions I couldn't answer, but how could I be gay? ... married for 60 years with four children and 3 grandchildren? I was ambushed by my own feelings and emotions for months after coming out ... even had a meltdown in a grocery store similar to what Andy mentioned. Most of my life is stellar at this point ... the math doesn't work, but I think I am probably 150% gay. I am very visible, wearing pride shirts wherever I go ... I want to provoke questions, and I am most willing to answer any question openly, honestly and with full transparency. I spent the first 80 years of my life invisible, and I have no intention of being invisible any longer. Hearing Andy was like a breath of fresh air. Thanks for this wonder episode!
You're not gay at all, you're bi. If I could get it up for a female, I would have gotten married and had kids...I'm a REAL gay man
How can someone be in their 50s and those around him not know? I look at this man, and my first thought is that he is gay. As for Andy wondering who he is in the gay community, it would be the same in any community. He is Andy. Putting no pressure on who you are is very helpful. Just be Andy.
love, great congersation
I'm 61, from USA and the state of Missouri. Been out since I was 26.
You must be the stereotypical type. I came out now at 52.
@@Robert-vf6ny , I was tired of not being me.
I came out at the age of 48. I can’t say it was any different than being in the closet. I didn’t meet an amazing group of people, and I didn’t meet the love of my life and I didn’t even make friends, regardless of how many groups I joined or how many events I attended. When people say “it gets better“ they should end it with “sometimes. It’s been nothing but a lonely life. Fortunately, it’s going to come to an end in three months, so i have that to look forward to.
Terminal illness?
So sorry to read this.
Good episode, just choose carefully who you confide in. I did with my cousin… little did I know she was relaying everything back to her Mother and sending screen shots to my elderly Mother ! When I caught her out she played the victim card. Choose carefully, but 7 years later I’m glad I did it finally.
He's adorable 😍 he will find his person ❤