Funny story : I started empowering my kid by giving her choices which I was okay with either ways but she observed my behavior and one morning I woke up and she said mom," you have got three choices, you can play with me, lemme watch TV or give me tablet for a while!" Damn!! And she was okay with any of the above 😂😂😂 didn't know dis would come to bite me so quickly!!
Lol I tell my daughter play is the kids job. Ours ,(grownups) is to love care and provide. That's why she can play on her own while I clean the kitchen. There are designed times and activities that we do fully together obvs. But play all day is not an option for adults, cause see above.
I appreciate your content thank you for putting this out here for free! Your positive parenting has changed my life and my childrens'. I've always wanted to reach my 5 year old's heart. It has been a struggle since she was super defiant and it was extremely frustrating. I'm more in control and freer, and so is she!! Now her little sisters are going to follow in her footstep of being respectful to me. Our lives are heading towards positivity and hope now.
I've already said so much...now iam out of words...all I can say is thank you and may the good God bless you with all the good things in life...may he guide you in every aspect of your life..
A person who doesn't want to change themselves will talk negative about this video ,a person willing to change themselves says thank you for this video
Discipline (learning): should not be done to make the parents life easier, but to make the child's life the best one possible. Discipline with the intention of teaching the child something through the medium of love
Thank you very much. Your videos are so beneficial and they couldn't have come at a better moment for me. The advice you provide is both brilliant and simple at the same time. Maybe one day my children will also thank you for helping their mum become a perfect parent or at least get as close to that as possible. No matter what and even if... as simple as that.
For the teenager, would it be more beneficial to offer an option of something else to do instead, like a trip to the movies or the mall? I think sitting at the house wouldn't interest me either if I knew that my friends were out having fun. I'd even pick up another friend who couldn't go to the party either. I've done that before and it may have cost a little money but it saved me a lot of tension. I also have to add that I love your videos. Parenting has become such a positive experience now. Thank you so much!
I have been going through each lesson. Interesting. New perspectives. Trying to apply but it is difficult when your older, our ways seem set and hard to change.
Dr Paul, I have been recently following your videos and they have been very helpful as I have two boys aged 3 years and 2 months( newborn). My 3 year old is a complete threenager, throwing tantrums, getting him to do anything is a chore( right from brushing his teeth, bathing, eating) he tends to reject everything we ask him to do, he is not on the spectrum and very well behaved at preschool ( where his teachers say that he does everything himself) he is however behind on speech( understands directions but does not speak as much or repeats what we say mostly) his preschoolnis getting him assessed for speech delay, we have been trying to potty train him for the better part of this year and he just refuses to poop in the pot( his constipation is taken care of) but he goes in his underwear, nothing we do will get him to poop ( we have tried Sticker chart , M n ms, even scolding him out of desperation) but nothing works...please advise. Shivangi
Dr Paul, the principles n values imparted here r worth more than gold.Thanks n God bless u in every way🤣S'times, when it's too much to handle cos "tho the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak", we need the intervention of God, God Almighty, the Spirit of God, to strengthen n help us in our weakness-in order to discipline IN LOVE
Hahahaha am I the only one who thought ahead on the toddler one? "You can go on your own two feet..." me: "or you can be dragged...." Lol so wrong but I like the walking on Mom's feet idea, preparation for dancing with Dad moments ❤️
Thank you! Can you please expand what could be good consequences for the kids, how can we come up with consequences for the bad choices they made, what kind of framework do I have to use for them to learn.
Whatever you decide to do, Catalina Navarro, it needs to be done with love. It depends on the child and you are the one who knows them the best so ideas could be to take away driving or other privileges if they have shown that they don't make good choices. You could give them a service opportunity in your community or neighborhood. Maybe they would need to pick up garbage by the side of the road, help at a food bank or non-profit. It might be that they are grounded for a set time or their phone is taken away. Maybe they lose privilege of having a smart phone and are reduced to a flip phone. Talk to other parents and see what they have done.
Love the Live On Purpose approach. But I don't have a three year old anymore or a teenager yet .. would love some more concrete examples for the elementary/middle school level kids. Especially in more difficult multi household situations 🙏
I’m not sure why you said that because the whole point of Dr Paul’s video was to show that if we love our kids, we will discipline them. Love and discipline go hand in hand, even the Bible says that. Children need to learn boundaries for their own safety. They need to learn how to behave in society in order to get along well with other people. They need to learn to respect others and themselves. When you plant a young tree, you put in a stout stick next to it and tie them together in order to train the tree to grow straight, not crooked. This is the root meaning of the word discipline. It means correction , training and support. If you truly love your children, you will learn to discipline them with love.
I think this video encompasses alot about teenagers.. basically acknowledge that they are sometime going to choose the thing you don't want them to do.. have clear boundries and consequences and let them know you love and care no matter the mistakes they make... from a mom who just controlled them the whole time and it was disastrous... now I have more children I am hoping I am brave enough to be okay with their mistake because right now I am forced to be with my older 2 and their mistakes as an adult are way worse..
That is always the stickler for parents. Stay tuned in to what you have control over that doesn't require their cooperation. You will get better at it.
“Did you scare your brother?” “Yeah, but - “ Exaggerated gossipy voice “Did YOU scare your brother!?!” “Yes” “Then it’s time for a time out. You can get yourself to your bed / room for your time out or I could get you there, but we need to get you there now so I can start the timer for 7 minutes (based on 7 y/o).” ❤ “on mommy’s 2 feet”!!!! 👣 Will use this! Thank you!!! Have used “you can brush your teeth or have Mom brush your teeth, but either way, we are taking care of your teeth tonight” with a lot of success based on suggestions from this channel! Thank you! 🙏
How about writing a several-paragraphs essay on all the things that could go wrong when they sneak out and go to a party? This could be especially helpful for those who hate writing assignments. If they drove, you could take away driving privileges. Just make sure they know it is all in love because you know how dangerous this world can be. Be honest about the mistakes you made as a teen. You might end up having a really good conversation just by opening up. Why did they go to the party? If it's to be more social, then ask them what else they could do to make friends. Offer to give suggestions if they're open to them. If they like the thrill of sneaking out, maybe they could get their thrills from a new sport or some other activity that excites them in a positive way.
I just started attaching your videos& I love them. As a single hemiplegic mother of 3 how do I get my kids to listen& do as I say& not ignore me since they know I can't physically run after them,grab or pick them up. My 6 yr old runs from me& does whatever he wants.
Nice explaination sir. Only, when we agree to allow the teenagers to go anywhere without our permission, no doubt they will learn from the consequences but because there is some danger we are disagreeing so even if they are going on their own, we must keep a constant track of where they are by giving them their cell phone and calling or texting often. As the consequences can be disastrous.
Franciscanisha Gomesbukkam, I try to start small, let them fail when the consequences are small, then they can learn from those mistakes and hopefully not make the larger ones.
So I am having a hard time applying this concept. Example, I want my 8 year old to help with folding the laundry. He just refuses. He refuses everything. I could say you can fold the clothes with me or without me. He will say, I pick. No. If I give him the teenager option. I can't think of a consequence that will entice him to do cores or school work
Spiritual Rebirth Tarot, with schoolwork, natural consequences work best. Maybe he has to do summer school or gets consequences from the school. Try some positive reinforcement. For folding the laundry he gets some special reinforcer, maybe more video time, maybe a treat, maybe time playing a game with you. Whatever would be fun for your child.
I've been doing the my feet or your feet thing with my two year old SO MUCH lately and it's working! At first he would whine and say "No" to both options so I'd say "ok we're gonna go on mama's feet" and within a couple days he's figured out no isn't an option and has started saying "uhm, Abel feet"
To me the 2 words love and discipline has so much overlap that if you say the word love it includes tha concept of discipline too at the same tiem.. I have often used the same strategies while disciplining my children too. Getting into power struggles just isn't worth it when trying to discipline and the parent and so trying to avoid them is best. How much detail should I offer when offering an answer to a teenager or adult child's question about some choices I have given them after they have already heard a whole lot of erroneous things about me from the other parent and oters for a long time beofre now? Very difficult to judge how much detail to offer when trying to avoid not being believed. What does help for example in judgeing how much detail to offer of course for example is not answering any question while it is being asked in a moving car.
Frances Bernard, I think how much detail we give depends on the age of the child and our relationship with them. I would wait for them to ask and use detail to clarify, not try to "win" the battle. I like that you avoid conflict when possible.
I tried the two choices method inspired by one of your other video (not sure I followed it correctly...) . And quickly I was confronted with the 3rd door, which in my toddlers case was to say: no. ok again, Your own feet or my feet? no. Hmm... I wasn't sure if I should than just proceed and pick the one choice where I pick her up. I did, and of course I got kicked and smacked and screamed at. Now I feel my kid just doesn't believe me I am giving her a proper choice :/
Jelena Jordanovic-Lewis, you are close so please give it another try. You give the child two choices, both of which you are o.k. with. He can choose either one. If he chooses none, then you get to decide and put the option into play. With my example it would be to pick them up and take them. If that is not an option for you, then pick something else. He may get a toy taken away or no story before bed. You get the idea, just try it out and follow through.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you for getting back to me. It really came in the right time, as I was doubting whether I was clear enough with my kid. I experimented with adding a follow up consequence of not choosing: I tell her, if you don't choose, I will choose. Mainly to make myself comfortable and confident to pick her up. I will try the suggestions to announce taking away a pleasure thing (toy, tv, story, etc) as a consequence. Thank you
It depends on the child, S P. Could be taking away his license since he can't make good decisions or missing out on another function. It could mean a curfew for a while or some extra chores at home. You know your child and get to pick.
My thought is my child's going to tell me that y"ou said I could go!" I think that wording is horrible. At no point does he say, "you can go, but they'll be consequences."
My almost 9 year old just said "no". So I asked him what choice he was saying no to. And he just says, "no, you heard me, I said no." So then I start to do what I would call the default and he screams that I don't ever listen that he told me "no". I never can get ahead with this kid.
Consequences are really something that is personal to the child. It might be taking a toy away or not getting dessert. It might be missing a party or not being allowed to hang with friends for a weekend for a teenager. It just depends on the child. Hope that helps some to get you thinking about your children, Fulltimermar.
There are kids that approach would backfire on. They would go to the party and not care about consequences. I know one of them (a 14 you girl down the street) and with some of my kids/stepkids it did not matter what consequences they got, they just did not care, they continued the same bad behavior.
Susan Clay, we need to balance the consequences with love, I talk about that in some other videos. We need to be developing a relationship so they do begin to think about others.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV @Live On Purpose TV Mykidsare all grown with kids of their own. But the kid down the street is teetering on the edge. She has a bad home life (very dysfunctional) and we are just trying to help with homework and fun things from time to time. When she does not get what she wants she blows up and refuses to cooperate, even walks away and is mad for hour, sometimes days. She is also depressed and has been abused in the past (I don't know about currently). We try to show love but we are not her parents.
I’m guessing: treat them like I would want to be treated? Or treat them like I’d want my best friend to be treated? Because I want to raise somebody that once grown, could enjoy being with me as a friend… because the respected being with me as a parent.
You are welcome, Benusa Wamilda. Yes, it is easy to forget because of the emotions we feel inside, but it is all about our children. Thank you for the comment.
Keep in mind that natural consequences are always better. Don't do homework, then you do summer school. In other things you can say, when you get your room cleaned, you can have wifi. Get clear on what you control and then focus there.
I don’t really get the part about with the 3 year old. If he is choosing option 3 which he made up because I’m not in control of one of the options, I don’t really know what that means/looks like, and a clear example wasn’t given. I’m not being a skeptic I’m just saying I was surprised you didn’t give a solution to a problem that you were saying is fairly simple. I liked everything else though. If you ever read this please respond if you can, thanks!
The problem with giving an example in this forum is everyone's situation is different and someone will say, "That won't work because _______." That is why every parent needs to figure out what they control and does not require the cooperation of their child. There are two options you give the child. You are o.k. with either option. One of the option is within your control and does not require the cooperation of the child. If the child tries to make a deal or choose option 3 (which does not exist), then you put the option that you control and does not require their cooperation into play. That is a consequence. I hope that helps.
@@LiveOnPurposeTVI also have this problem. My two year old won't get dressed (or let me dress her). I let her choose her clothes and offer her the choice of me dressing her or her doing it herself (with some help). This morning I wrestled her into her clothes while she kicked me, because we had to go to nursery. The same thing happens sometimes with walking vs going in the pushchair. She just sits or lies in the street. She's a fantastic little girl but just very determined. I find it very difficult having to physically force her to do things without getting angry. This is a traumatic issue for me. Do you have any advice? Thank you so much for your videos, I love the tips about remembering who you are, and who your child is.
Would it be better to say you can go but it will cost you to loose the Xbox for 5 days or you can stay and we can watch a movie and play Xbox all night.
James Klaro, in my experience, it is best to keep things general. Circumstances may change, the child may find a loophole, or parents may miscommunicate when it comes to specifics. If the child follows the rule, then have access to privileges. If they don't cooperate and obey, they don't have access. Simple and broad. Thanks for being part of the Live On Purpose family!
This may be a silly question, but when giving the two choices, do we let them know before hand that there will be consequences for choosing the less preferred option? Like, say... “You can choose to sit and do schoolwork with me, or you can choose to leave, but if you leave, ______ will happen?” My 3 and 4 year olds are very stubborn and I just found your videos and really want to try your methods! I just want to be sure to do them correctly. :)
Yes, Brittney Vanzant. Sometime the consequences are the choices, you can come on your feet or mine or it could be you can do your work or miss play time later. 3 and 4 year olds are pretty young to be sitting down and doing schoolwork. Most of their learning can occur without sitting for periods of time.
Thank you alwayz 😊 you help me be a better parent everyday 😂 I greatly appreciate everything 👍 stay awsome. Have an amazing day everyone filled with lots of unconditional lovez and laughter 😊👍💖💕💞💫🌠🌟✨🔥🌈☀🍀🌹🌼🌺🌻🎊🎉🎶💰💵#BESTLIFEEVER
I really like the idea of only giving 2 choices. If my teenager goes to the party without approval, what consequences should I give? I normally take away her belongings like cell phone but she doesn't care for them and be ok with it. She would normally just go find another electronic to use like TV. Any ideas?
Joralyn Konakowitz, how about taking down the wifi altogether. You can unplug everything. The most natural consequences are the best, so the ones that will affect her the most. If you are having trouble coming up with ideas, talk to another parent, or someone who knows your teenager well.
Marwa Gad, you should have clear guidelines and expectations for someone who works for you. Begin a discussion and express how you want things handled.
Sunni Harrison, I am not sure what you mean, I would think physically aggressive is abusive. If it is behavior against you that is not wanted, it is abuse. Reach out to talk to someone so they can understand the specifics.
Victoria in America, natural consequences are best and implement quickly. It could be taking away the phone, taking down the wifi in the house or having him do some extra work for you or a neighbor. It just depends on what resources you have and what you control. Make a list and then if you have someone who knows your son that you can bounce ideas off, even better.
Do you have any strategies to deal with a 6 year old who swears? Timeouts don't seem to work...no idea how to tackle this. He has heard my husband and I swear accidentally, so we are to blame sadly. Just don't know how to tackle this. Thank you!
C jv, Get creative and look for other ideas. First, apologize to him and tell him that swearing is not allowed in the house, by anyone. In the future, anyone who is caught swearing has to... do the dishes, clean everyone else's room, put money into a jar to be used for something specific, whatever you come up with. Think about something that makes sense for your family and your son in particular. Praise him when he uses other language choices to express emotion and come up with some that you can say as a family.
It depends on the kid, Shannon Cutshall. It could be losing use of a phone, car, having to do extra chores or a project around the house, losing privileges for the following weekend or writing a paper. If you have trouble coming up with something you can ask the kid what he thinks the punishment should be or talk to someone who knows them well.
What if your teenager is just not listening to you at all... ( and I’m staying calm) I told them their friend could not stay over and I was totally disregarded and they ended up staying the whole weekend. Even when I went up to the room and told them thAt they couldn’t stay over. How do we deal with this.. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
You aren't enforcing what you are saying and they know it, Sarah Brennan. Tell them you are going to call their parents and tell them to come get them or the police and they need to leave. Go through with it so they understand that they can't disregard your rules.
Mariah Samuel, we do have a few videos about those topics already. Would you mind watching them, trying them out for a week or two, and then getting back with me if you still want something specifically for teens? "What To Do When Your Child Steals": ruclips.net/video/F2zppOx9sXI/видео.html "How To Get Kids To Stop Lying": ruclips.net/video/Fw8ZHfWdRnw/видео.html "How To Stop A Child From Lying": ruclips.net/video/_7KCp45jnng/видео.html
Consequences depend on the individual child and I don't like to give too many because what works for one child may not work for another. Brainstorm with those who know the child to come up with some ideas.
What would you do with a 5 year old who whines often? She loses privileges but she doesn't seem to learn from that as she will still whine the next day. Eventually I will keep to what I said, and she'll end up doing what I asked but not after a lot of whining, and that is very annoying. How can I get her to follow through without the whining before?
aya, I have had this suggestion for a future video and will try to put something together. I would not respond when she talks in a whiny voice so she know when she wants your attention that she will have to use her talking voice. There are some other things I hope to cover.
Give him consequences at the time the spitting occurs. Practice things he can do when he is frustrated or angry. Play acting and giving him options should help, Faiza Khan.
It depends on what you have control over. It could be extra chores, no transportations, losing keys to a car or other privilege. That is up to each parent to decide as circumstances differ.
So for the 3 year old, I just physically wrangle my screaming & fighting toddler into the car when she decides to come up with her own option? There HAS to be a better way that I must be missing... BTW, you are a Godsend for the couples who were raised in abusive homes & who are desperately trying to figure out how to not mess up their kid! There are so many "don'ts" out there, and far fewer realistic "dos"!
Adrian Henry, you have to come up with something that she really wants, to listen to her favorite song or CD, to have a special toy when she is in her seat. Ask her what she wants, she may not be able to tell you, but she might. It depends on the 3 year old.
You say: It's not about the parents and making our lives easier? But all your examples sound exactly like that. We give the options, so it's all about what we (the parents) want. It's like we're not giving them two real options. They are fake options. Two real options would be: Stay home or go to the party (WITH my permission). But WE don't want him to go. Perhaps it's important to point out that some of our choices are also for the good of the parents. After all, if we are not healthy or super stressed, how can we take care of our children? I think we can also bo honest about this.
No one chooses to parent because they want an easy life. We want the best for our children and having them be able to make good choices will get them there. Thanks for watching and commenting.
What if you consider the party that the 16 year old wants to go to a dangerous place for them to be? You believe that there will be drugs, alcohol, and classmates that are known for getting into fights. What choices would you give the child?
Eddie Yakubovich, in that case, I would express my concern to the child and out of love explain that you don't want them to be exposed to or tempted by such physical dangers. Let them know that you don't give them permission to go. That might confuse them - it did my son when I didn't have him permission to go to a party. What that means is, if they go when you don't want them to they will have consequences when they get home. Consequences in this case are usually denied access to privileges (ie., transportation, preferred food, even their bedroom). You could also provide another activity that you are okay with (activity with a friend at your house, for example).
Thank you for taking the time to reply. This version of "No, you can not go because you don't have my permissions." is very important for parents to understand. Sometimes, you may be ok with both options you give your child, but they won't be. It is in those instances that I teach my child that they can suggest options that I may not have thought of. Like, going to a different friend's house or even better, inviting friends to our house. All conversations with your children should be had out of love, even if they are conversations that will upset them.
@@taker0816 Good idea - letting the child come up with a different solution. I want to clarify ... I like to keep things positive, so I would say: "If you go to the party, you are doing so without my permission." Thanks again for your contributions here!
Stephanie P, reach out to your pediatrician and see if you can get your child tested. Be kind and gentle with them so they will see what behavior they are supposed to show.
Sarahtina, I hope you know your Live On Purpose Community has your back. I hope the videos help. Call one of our coaches to find out what services we can offer you. www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Maqsood Mohammed, I can't respond to individual requests as I just don't have enough time on my schedule. I do coaching and you can set up an appointment through the website.
Judith Calderon, remember that you are ok with either choice and you control one of them. When your child does not choose they ARE choosing. Then you implement the choice that you have control over.
Okay ... I will tell her what can be happen if she goes places or do things without my permission.... now ... what if she go to the party without my permission and nothing happens then what will happen is she will start keep going places and doing things without my permission... she will start thinking she’s okay to take decisions ... that’s okay for learning ... but not okay if she gets into trouble.... hmmmmm complicated
M M, if she goes without your permission, then you give the consequence that you have control over, maybe cut off her phone or access to WIFI, whatever works for her.
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Funny story : I started empowering my kid by giving her choices which I was okay with either ways but she observed my behavior and one morning I woke up and she said mom," you have got three choices, you can play with me, lemme watch TV or give me tablet for a while!" Damn!! And she was okay with any of the above 😂😂😂 didn't know dis would come to bite me so quickly!!
Haha! Thanks for sharing your story, Shikha Sahotra. Your daughter sounds smart. : )
Lol I tell my daughter play is the kids job. Ours ,(grownups) is to love care and provide. That's why she can play on her own while I clean the kitchen. There are designed times and activities that we do fully together obvs. But play all day is not an option for adults, cause see above.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV do you only do videos with real examples or have you ever mentioned books or movies with parent- child relationships??¿.?¿
😄😄😅
Cool video 📹.
"No matter what, and even if" is my new mantra when my kids are driving me crazy. Thank you! 🤗
Tropical Beachy ditto here!!!!
Awesome, Tropical Beachy. Your kids will always remember it and I bet they say it to their kids. It will be a great grandparent moment.
Love to hear it, filltimermar.
I’m really grateful to you to teaching me how to raise my children one is girl 8 and one is boy 5 . And I’m single mother. Thank you
M M, so glad we are able to meet via RUclips and learn from one another.
I appreciate your content thank you for putting this out here for free! Your positive parenting has changed my life and my childrens'. I've always wanted to reach my 5 year old's heart. It has been a struggle since she was super defiant and it was extremely frustrating. I'm more in control and freer, and so is she!! Now her little sisters are going to follow in her footstep of being respectful to me. Our lives are heading towards positivity and hope now.
Erica, you made my day! Thank you for being a part of our positive community.
I've already said so much...now iam out of words...all I can say is thank you and may the good God bless you with all the good things in life...may he guide you in every aspect of your life..
Thank you, Ankita Gupta, that means a lot. Honored to be on your team.
Your videos makes life easy ...Thank you Dr. Paul
I am not sure about easy, but I get your point. When we have options, we feel hope. Thanks, Marwa Gad.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I mean that you give us useful ideas ...I admire your work ..Thank you
I like your video before watching it because I am sure that I am going to learn something beneficial
thank you so much for making these videos. they are so helpful for my family who had been struggling to implement more positive parenting techniques.
You are so welcome! Glad you are in our positive parenting community.
Dr. Paul, I’m a grandma. Wish I knew about you when raising my children. Learning a lot of techniques for my grands. Thank you.
teriw56, honored to be on your team.
A person who doesn't want to change themselves will talk negative about this video ,a person willing to change themselves says thank you for this video
We get to decide, you are right.
Discipline (learning): should not be done to make the parents life easier, but to make the child's life the best one possible.
Discipline with the intention of teaching the child something through the medium of love
Aaron Swanson, that is beautiful, discipline is done with love, otherwise it is punishment.
Live On Purpose TV your videos are so helpful. Thank you for providing these.
Thank you very much. Your videos are so beneficial and they couldn't have come at a better moment for me. The advice you provide is both brilliant and simple at the same time. Maybe one day my children will also thank you for helping their mum become a perfect parent or at least get as close to that as possible. No matter what and even if... as simple as that.
So glad you found Live On Purpose TV, Natasa Vasic. Thank you for watching.
For the teenager, would it be more beneficial to offer an option of something else to do instead, like a trip to the movies or the mall? I think sitting at the house wouldn't interest me either if I knew that my friends were out having fun. I'd even pick up another friend who couldn't go to the party either. I've done that before and it may have cost a little money but it saved me a lot of tension.
I also have to add that I love your videos. Parenting has become such a positive experience now. Thank you so much!
That is a great idea, mbyrd6713. Show the kids that there is another option.
I love this channel. Thank you Dr. Paul!!!
Thank you, S P. I appreciate viewers like you.
Very useful! Let´s give them options. Bless you Dr.
Blanca Robles, honored to be on your team.
I have been going through each lesson. Interesting. New perspectives. Trying to apply but it is difficult when your older, our ways seem set and hard to change.
A Rios, It takes time to do something differently, challenging ourselves will improve our overall health though.
Thank you so much. Your advice has been a positive influence on our lives.
You are so welcome
Really help a lot Dr.Paul,thank you so much!!!😊
Glad you found the channel, Jessica Ilano. Thank you for watching and commenting.
Such wholesome, useful advice. Thank you!
You are welcome, le th. Honored to be on your team.
Dr Paul, I have been recently following your videos and they have been very helpful as I have two boys aged 3 years and 2 months( newborn). My 3 year old is a complete threenager, throwing tantrums, getting him to do anything is a chore( right from brushing his teeth, bathing, eating) he tends to reject everything we ask him to do, he is not on the spectrum and very well behaved at preschool ( where his teachers say that he does everything himself) he is however behind on speech( understands directions but does not speak as much or repeats what we say mostly) his preschoolnis getting him assessed for speech delay, we have been trying to potty train him for the better part of this year and he just refuses to poop in the pot( his constipation is taken care of) but he goes in his underwear, nothing we do will get him to poop ( we have tried Sticker chart , M n ms, even scolding him out of desperation) but nothing works...please advise.
Shivangi
Probably adjusting to the changes at home. It takes about 6 months for some kids to adjust to another sibling. Give him time and stay calm.
This is so calm and grounding for a child. Thanks for sharing.
Tess Jones, you are welcome.
Thank you for such simple techniques 😀
Preeti Dandia, glad you like them, remember, simple isn't always easy. Stick with it.
Dr Paul, the principles n values imparted here r worth more than gold.Thanks n God bless u in every way🤣S'times, when it's too much to handle cos "tho the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak", we need the intervention of God, God Almighty, the Spirit of God, to strengthen n help us in our weakness-in order to discipline IN LOVE
This can be very powerful, Grace Bock. Reach outside of ourselves and choose to love. Thanks.
Hahahaha am I the only one who thought ahead on the toddler one?
"You can go on your own two feet..."
me: "or you can be dragged...."
Lol so wrong but I like the walking on Mom's feet idea, preparation for dancing with Dad moments ❤️
I like your take on "walking on Mom's feet," Lynn Paulus! Haven't thought of that before. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face. :)
Great advice, always enjoy listening and learning from you.
Ingrid, thank you.
This is excellent advice, appreciate the educated perspective 👍 keep up the awesome work u do 🙂
I am happy to, Andrea Warburton. Thank you for watching.
Two choicesbworks like magic. Thanks !
Glad you are having success, Sirjana Subba. Happy to have you at the channel.
Thank you! Can you please expand what could be good consequences for the kids, how can we come up with consequences for the bad choices they made, what kind of framework do I have to use for them to learn.
Whatever you decide to do, Catalina Navarro, it needs to be done with love. It depends on the child and you are the one who knows them the best so ideas could be to take away driving or other privileges if they have shown that they don't make good choices. You could give them a service opportunity in your community or neighborhood. Maybe they would need to pick up garbage by the side of the road, help at a food bank or non-profit. It might be that they are grounded for a set time or their phone is taken away. Maybe they lose privilege of having a smart phone and are reduced to a flip phone. Talk to other parents and see what they have done.
Great video! Great examples!
Thank you very much!
You are welcome, Rui Bueta, honored to be on your team.
Love the Live On Purpose approach. But I don't have a three year old anymore or a teenager yet .. would love some more concrete examples for the elementary/middle school level kids. Especially in more difficult multi household situations 🙏
Great idea, Kylenn. Thank you for the reminder.
Love and discipline are extremely different things😂😂🎉❤😢😅😊. Interesting video.
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it.
I’m not sure why you said that because the whole point of Dr Paul’s video was to show that if we love our kids, we will discipline them. Love and discipline go hand in hand, even the Bible says that. Children need to learn boundaries for their own safety. They need to learn how to behave in society in order to get along well with other people. They need to learn to respect others and themselves. When you plant a young tree, you put in a stout stick next to it and tie them together in order to train the tree to grow straight, not crooked. This is the root meaning of the word discipline. It means correction , training and support. If you truly love your children, you will learn to discipline them with love.
Love your videos! 👨🔬(Maniacal laugh) I would like it if you had more on teenagers. Thank you so much!
Thank you, markus bourne. There are more coming, keep watching.
I think this video encompasses alot about teenagers.. basically acknowledge that they are sometime going to choose the thing you don't want them to do.. have clear boundries and consequences and let them know you love and care no matter the mistakes they make... from a mom who just controlled them the whole time and it was disastrous... now I have more children I am hoping I am brave enough to be okay with their mistake because right now I am forced to be with my older 2 and their mistakes as an adult are way worse..
This is great! Now I just need a hundred examples of different consequences that I can use that are appropriate.
That is always the stickler for parents. Stay tuned in to what you have control over that doesn't require their cooperation. You will get better at it.
“Did you scare your brother?”
“Yeah, but - “
Exaggerated gossipy voice “Did YOU scare your brother!?!”
“Yes”
“Then it’s time for a time out. You can get yourself to your bed / room for your time out or I could get you there, but we need to get you there now so I can start the timer for 7 minutes (based on 7 y/o).”
❤ “on mommy’s 2 feet”!!!! 👣 Will use this! Thank you!!!
Have used “you can brush your teeth or have Mom brush your teeth, but either way, we are taking care of your teeth tonight” with a lot of success based on suggestions from this channel! Thank you! 🙏
Interesting with the teenager example. What consequences would you give if they choose to go to the party without your permission?
I was also waiting for the answer😊
That would be my question as well. How to stop the teenager, if the party is not suitable for him/her, would be my second question.
I was just going to ask that too, but was looking to see if anyone else asked it too and got an answer first ...
How about writing a several-paragraphs essay on all the things that could go wrong when they sneak out and go to a party? This could be especially helpful for those who hate writing assignments. If they drove, you could take away driving privileges. Just make sure they know it is all in love because you know how dangerous this world can be. Be honest about the mistakes you made as a teen. You might end up having a really good conversation just by opening up. Why did they go to the party? If it's to be more social, then ask them what else they could do to make friends. Offer to give suggestions if they're open to them. If they like the thrill of sneaking out, maybe they could get their thrills from a new sport or some other activity that excites them in a positive way.
I also would like to know;)
I just started attaching your videos& I love them. As a single hemiplegic mother of 3 how do I get my kids to listen& do as I say& not ignore me since they know I can't physically run after them,grab or pick them up. My 6 yr old runs from me& does whatever he wants.
Maribel Mejia, start by figuring out what is in your control and go from there.
Boy, the teenager options were awesome! Thank you!!
Glad you enjoyed the video, alyson Maxwell. Thanks.
Nice explaination sir. Only, when we agree to allow the teenagers to go anywhere without our permission, no doubt they will learn from the consequences but because there is some danger we are disagreeing so even if they are going on their own, we must keep a constant track of where they are by giving them their cell phone and calling or texting often. As the consequences can be disastrous.
Franciscanisha Gomesbukkam, I try to start small, let them fail when the consequences are small, then they can learn from those mistakes and hopefully not make the larger ones.
I love your videos!!
Thank you, Amanda Gray. I appreciate the viewers on You Tube.
Hi Dr Paul thanks for your videos they are so helpful.. can you please do a video on how to stop toddlers from biting us
There is a video on that. Check out the playlist.
I love your videos lol! they are awesome. i get to learn about my child and how to deal with their future behaviours! Great Vids Thanks!
Thanks so much!
Love this advice thanks again!!
You are welcome, Jenni Li.
Thank you
Our pleasure.
I'm not sure I understand. Say he went to the party without my permission then what consequences should I give him?
Samantha, that is up to you. It is something you control that doesn't require your child's cooperation.
Thank you ❤
You are very welcome.
So I am having a hard time applying this concept. Example, I want my 8 year old to help with folding the laundry. He just refuses. He refuses everything. I could say you can fold the clothes with me or without me. He will say, I pick. No. If I give him the teenager option. I can't think of a consequence that will entice him to do cores or school work
Spiritual Rebirth Tarot, with schoolwork, natural consequences work best. Maybe he has to do summer school or gets consequences from the school. Try some positive reinforcement. For folding the laundry he gets some special reinforcer, maybe more video time, maybe a treat, maybe time playing a game with you. Whatever would be fun for your child.
That's genius! "If you go you are going without my permission"..
Noted for the future..
Then they find out the consequences.. ☺
Wendi Watson, happy you are finding the videos useful.
Great video!
Thank you, Justyna Licentia. Thank you for being a part of the channel.
Appreciate so much
Thank you.
I've been doing the my feet or your feet thing with my two year old SO MUCH lately and it's working! At first he would whine and say "No" to both options so I'd say "ok we're gonna go on mama's feet" and within a couple days he's figured out no isn't an option and has started saying "uhm, Abel feet"
Yay! You got this.
Love it!!! Thanks again
Glad the video was helpful, awaken. Thanks for watching.
Your videos are the best thank you
j jewelery, you are welcome, honored to be on your team.
To me the 2 words love and discipline has so much overlap that if you say the word love it includes tha concept of discipline too at the same tiem.. I have often used the same strategies while disciplining my children too. Getting into power struggles just isn't worth it when trying to discipline and the parent and so trying to avoid them is best. How much detail should I offer when offering an answer to a teenager or adult child's question about some choices I have given them after they have already heard a whole lot of erroneous things about me from the other parent and oters for a long time beofre now? Very difficult to judge how much detail to offer when trying to avoid not being believed. What does help for example in judgeing how much detail to offer of course for example is not answering any question while it is being asked in a moving car.
Frances Bernard, I think how much detail we give depends on the age of the child and our relationship with them. I would wait for them to ask and use detail to clarify, not try to "win" the battle. I like that you avoid conflict when possible.
Love this!!!
Leslie Reynoso, honored to be on your team.
I tried the two choices method inspired by one of your other video (not sure I followed it correctly...) . And quickly I was confronted with the 3rd door, which in my toddlers case was to say: no. ok again, Your own feet or my feet? no. Hmm... I wasn't sure if I should than just proceed and pick the one choice where I pick her up. I did, and of course I got kicked and smacked and screamed at. Now I feel my kid just doesn't believe me I am giving her a proper choice :/
Jelena Jordanovic-Lewis, you are close so please give it another try. You give the child two choices, both of which you are o.k. with. He can choose either one. If he chooses none, then you get to decide and put the option into play. With my example it would be to pick them up and take them. If that is not an option for you, then pick something else. He may get a toy taken away or no story before bed. You get the idea, just try it out and follow through.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you for getting back to me. It really came in the right time, as I was doubting whether I was clear enough with my kid. I experimented with adding a follow up consequence of not choosing: I tell her, if you don't choose, I will choose. Mainly to make myself comfortable and confident to pick her up. I will try the suggestions to announce taking away a pleasure thing (toy, tv, story, etc) as a consequence. Thank you
amazing hint
Zara Tabarsi, thank you.
Oh my! What if the teen choses to go to the unapproved party? What consequences should I give?
It depends on the child, S P. Could be taking away his license since he can't make good decisions or missing out on another function. It could mean a curfew for a while or some extra chores at home. You know your child and get to pick.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you Dr. Paul!!!!
Live On Purpose TV oh wow!! I actually get it... THANK YOU 🙏🏽
My thought is my child's going to tell me that y"ou said I could go!" I think that wording is horrible. At no point does he say, "you can go, but they'll be consequences."
My almost 9 year old just said "no". So I asked him what choice he was saying no to. And he just says, "no, you heard me, I said no." So then I start to do what I would call the default and he screams that I don't ever listen that he told me "no". I never can get ahead with this kid.
I would tell him I did hear him and this is the consequence, Brenda Kovacs. He will begin to understand when he has options and when he doesn't.
What kind of consequences are good for a teen ager, for an almost teen ager and for a 3 year old??? Thanks a bunch!!
Consequences are really something that is personal to the child. It might be taking a toy away or not getting dessert. It might be missing a party or not being allowed to hang with friends for a weekend for a teenager. It just depends on the child. Hope that helps some to get you thinking about your children, Fulltimermar.
There are kids that approach would backfire on. They would go to the party and not care about consequences. I know one of them (a 14 you girl down the street) and with some of my kids/stepkids it did not matter what consequences they got, they just did not care, they continued the same bad behavior.
Susan Clay, we need to balance the consequences with love, I talk about that in some other videos. We need to be developing a relationship so they do begin to think about others.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV @Live On Purpose TV Mykidsare all grown with kids of their own. But the kid down the street is teetering on the edge. She has a bad home life (very dysfunctional) and we are just trying to help with homework and fun things from time to time. When she does not get what she wants she blows up and refuses to cooperate, even walks away and is mad for hour, sometimes days. She is also depressed and has been abused in the past (I don't know about currently).
We try to show love but we are not her parents.
I’m guessing: treat them like I would want to be treated? Or treat them like I’d want my best friend to be treated? Because I want to raise somebody that once grown, could enjoy being with me as a friend… because the respected being with me as a parent.
Thanks a lot for reminding that it's not about us, it's about our sons/daughters :-)
You are welcome, Benusa Wamilda. Yes, it is easy to forget because of the emotions we feel inside, but it is all about our children. Thank you for the comment.
What is an appropriate consequence for the teenager scenario?
Keep in mind that natural consequences are always better. Don't do homework, then you do summer school. In other things you can say, when you get your room cleaned, you can have wifi. Get clear on what you control and then focus there.
I have a 10yr old that week do what he wants and take the consequences... how do I handle that?!?! Preferable BEFORE juvi....
gayle, could be a child that would do well with incentives.
What if they come up with another choice that you are ok with?
Crystal M, Go with it. Give them a compliment that they came up with another option. You do risk getting into an argument so hold firm.
I don’t really get the part about with the 3 year old. If he is choosing option 3 which he made up because I’m not in control of one of the options, I don’t really know what that means/looks like, and a clear example wasn’t given. I’m not being a skeptic I’m just saying I was surprised you didn’t give a solution to a problem that you were saying is fairly simple. I liked everything else though. If you ever read this please respond if you can, thanks!
The problem with giving an example in this forum is everyone's situation is different and someone will say, "That won't work because _______." That is why every parent needs to figure out what they control and does not require the cooperation of their child.
There are two options you give the child.
You are o.k. with either option.
One of the option is within your control and does not require the cooperation of the child.
If the child tries to make a deal or choose option 3 (which does not exist), then you put the option that you control and does not require their cooperation into play. That is a consequence.
I hope that helps.
@@LiveOnPurposeTVI also have this problem. My two year old won't get dressed (or let me dress her). I let her choose her clothes and offer her the choice of me dressing her or her doing it herself (with some help). This morning I wrestled her into her clothes while she kicked me, because we had to go to nursery. The same thing happens sometimes with walking vs going in the pushchair. She just sits or lies in the street. She's a fantastic little girl but just very determined. I find it very difficult having to physically force her to do things without getting angry. This is a traumatic issue for me. Do you have any advice? Thank you so much for your videos, I love the tips about remembering who you are, and who your child is.
So does controlling one of the options mean picking them up and carrying them out? I'm not sure that would be considered loving parenting.
5, It could. Just depends on the child and the circumstances. You can choose something else.
Would it be better to say you can go but it will cost you to loose the Xbox for 5 days or you can stay and we can watch a movie and play Xbox all night.
James Klaro, in my experience, it is best to keep things general. Circumstances may change, the child may find a loophole, or parents may miscommunicate when it comes to specifics. If the child follows the rule, then have access to privileges. If they don't cooperate and obey, they don't have access. Simple and broad. Thanks for being part of the Live On Purpose family!
This may be a silly question, but when giving the two choices, do we let them know before hand that there will be consequences for choosing the less preferred option? Like, say... “You can choose to sit and do schoolwork with me, or you can choose to leave, but if you leave, ______ will happen?” My 3 and 4 year olds are very stubborn and I just found your videos and really want to try your methods! I just want to be sure to do them correctly. :)
Yes, Brittney Vanzant. Sometime the consequences are the choices, you can come on your feet or mine or it could be you can do your work or miss play time later. 3 and 4 year olds are pretty young to be sitting down and doing schoolwork. Most of their learning can occur without sitting for periods of time.
What if you don’t know what love looks like 🧐 it seems relative to people and their experiences
Love is many things, a big part is acceptance and security. Start there.
Excellent.
Thanks, Get Tuned In Now. I like your screen name, reminds me to be mindful of what is happening in the moment.
Live On Purpose TV Yes, thank you very much!
Thank you alwayz 😊 you help me be a better parent everyday 😂 I greatly appreciate everything 👍 stay awsome. Have an amazing day everyone filled with lots of unconditional lovez and laughter 😊👍💖💕💞💫🌠🌟✨🔥🌈☀🍀🌹🌼🌺🌻🎊🎉🎶💰💵#BESTLIFEEVER
Thank you for showing up and doing the hard work of parenting everyday with love. It will pay off, Deseree Kjersem.
I really like how you imitate kids in your videos, no matter 3yo or 16 LoL
siyer99, I have had lots of years of working with kids. Thanks for your comment.
Yea but if the teenager says what is going to happen if they go without our permission, then what's going to happen?
If my son were to leave without permission, he would have consequences.
I don’t think I got this one dr Paul… what if u really Didn’t want him to go to the party and he still went even WITHOUT your permission?! Thanks
Pri USA, then there would be consequences.
I really like the idea of only giving 2 choices. If my teenager goes to the party without approval, what consequences should I give? I normally take away her belongings like cell phone but she doesn't care for them and be ok with it. She would normally just go find another electronic to use like TV. Any ideas?
Joralyn Konakowitz, how about taking down the wifi altogether. You can unplug everything. The most natural consequences are the best, so the ones that will affect her the most. If you are having trouble coming up with ideas, talk to another parent, or someone who knows your teenager well.
"2 choices that i'm okay with.. 🤔😃 thank you !
Wendi Watson, you are welcome.
What if the teen still goes out without permission?? HELP!!
Jewel P, get clear on what you control and then put that into action.
How can I make the nanny help me raising and disciplining my kids?
Marwa Gad, you should have clear guidelines and expectations for someone who works for you. Begin a discussion and express how you want things handled.
I have a question. What if you have a physically agressive spouse. Not abusive but rough?
Sunni Harrison, I am not sure what you mean, I would think physically aggressive is abusive. If it is behavior against you that is not wanted, it is abuse. Reach out to talk to someone so they can understand the specifics.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV sorry you're right i should be talking to someone more local. Thanks
But if he decided to go with opt my permission, what should be the consequences? And how To implement them?
Victoria in America, natural consequences are best and implement quickly. It could be taking away the phone, taking down the wifi in the house or having him do some extra work for you or a neighbor. It just depends on what resources you have and what you control. Make a list and then if you have someone who knows your son that you can bounce ideas off, even better.
Thank you so much! Some times is difficult to identify what consequences are equivalent to the fault.
Do you have any strategies to deal with a 6 year old who swears? Timeouts don't seem to work...no idea how to tackle this. He has heard my husband and I swear accidentally, so we are to blame sadly. Just don't know how to tackle this. Thank you!
C jv, Get creative and look for other ideas. First, apologize to him and tell him that swearing is not allowed in the house, by anyone. In the future, anyone who is caught swearing has to... do the dishes, clean everyone else's room, put money into a jar to be used for something specific, whatever you come up with. Think about something that makes sense for your family and your son in particular. Praise him when he uses other language choices to express emotion and come up with some that you can say as a family.
So what would a good consequence be if the teen did decide to go to the party without your permission?
It depends on the kid, Shannon Cutshall. It could be losing use of a phone, car, having to do extra chores or a project around the house, losing privileges for the following weekend or writing a paper. If you have trouble coming up with something you can ask the kid what he thinks the punishment should be or talk to someone who knows them well.
What if your teenager is just not listening to you at all... ( and I’m staying calm) I told them their friend could not stay over and I was totally disregarded and they ended up staying the whole weekend. Even when I went up to the room and told them thAt they couldn’t stay over. How do we deal with this.. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
You aren't enforcing what you are saying and they know it, Sarah Brennan. Tell them you are going to call their parents and tell them to come get them or the police and they need to leave. Go through with it so they understand that they can't disregard your rules.
Live On Purpose TV thanks for getting back... and the good advice really appreciated 🙏🏻🌟🙏🏻❤️💛
Live On Purpose TV totally right about us not enforcing it and giving in thanks
Hi Dr. Paul, Can you do a video on how to stop a Child from biting his nails? THANK YOU!!!
Great suggestion! I will add it to the list.
Do a video on how to stop a teen from lying and stealing.
Mariah Samuel, we do have a few videos about those topics already. Would you mind watching them, trying them out for a week or two, and then getting back with me if you still want something specifically for teens?
"What To Do When Your Child Steals": ruclips.net/video/F2zppOx9sXI/видео.html
"How To Get Kids To Stop Lying": ruclips.net/video/Fw8ZHfWdRnw/видео.html
"How To Stop A Child From Lying": ruclips.net/video/_7KCp45jnng/видео.html
What would the consequence be though!
Consequences depend on the individual child and I don't like to give too many because what works for one child may not work for another. Brainstorm with those who know the child to come up with some ideas.
What would you do with a 5 year old who whines often? She loses privileges but she doesn't seem to learn from that as she will still whine the next day. Eventually I will keep to what I said, and she'll end up doing what I asked but not after a lot of whining, and that is very annoying. How can I get her to follow through without the whining before?
aya, I have had this suggestion for a future video and will try to put something together. I would not respond when she talks in a whiny voice so she know when she wants your attention that she will have to use her talking voice. There are some other things I hope to cover.
How do i stop my 3 1/2 yr son from spitting everywhere and on other people when he is frustrated or angry or embarrassed???
Give him consequences at the time the spitting occurs. Practice things he can do when he is frustrated or angry. Play acting and giving him options should help, Faiza Khan.
Live On Purpose TV thanks 😊
Which consequences he would have after going out to the party without permission ?
It depends on what you have control over. It could be extra chores, no transportations, losing keys to a car or other privilege. That is up to each parent to decide as circumstances differ.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you
So for the 3 year old, I just physically wrangle my screaming & fighting toddler into the car when she decides to come up with her own option? There HAS to be a better way that I must be missing...
BTW, you are a Godsend for the couples who were raised in abusive homes & who are desperately trying to figure out how to not mess up their kid!
There are so many "don'ts" out there, and far fewer realistic "dos"!
Adrian Henry, you have to come up with something that she really wants, to listen to her favorite song or CD, to have a special toy when she is in her seat. Ask her what she wants, she may not be able to tell you, but she might. It depends on the 3 year old.
You say: It's not about the parents and making our lives easier? But all your examples sound exactly like that. We give the options, so it's all about what we (the parents) want. It's like we're not giving them two real options. They are fake options. Two real options would be: Stay home or go to the party (WITH my permission). But WE don't want him to go. Perhaps it's important to point out that some of our choices are also for the good of the parents. After all, if we are not healthy or super stressed, how can we take care of our children? I think we can also bo honest about this.
No one chooses to parent because they want an easy life. We want the best for our children and having them be able to make good choices will get them there. Thanks for watching and commenting.
What if you consider the party that the 16 year old wants to go to a dangerous place for them to be? You believe that there will be drugs, alcohol, and classmates that are known for getting into fights. What choices would you give the child?
Eddie Yakubovich, in that case, I would express my concern to the child and out of love explain that you don't want them to be exposed to or tempted by such physical dangers. Let them know that you don't give them permission to go. That might confuse them - it did my son when I didn't have him permission to go to a party. What that means is, if they go when you don't want them to they will have consequences when they get home. Consequences in this case are usually denied access to privileges (ie., transportation, preferred food, even their bedroom). You could also provide another activity that you are okay with (activity with a friend at your house, for example).
Thank you for taking the time to reply. This version of "No, you can not go because you don't have my permissions." is very important for parents to understand. Sometimes, you may be ok with both options you give your child, but they won't be. It is in those instances that I teach my child that they can suggest options that I may not have thought of. Like, going to a different friend's house or even better, inviting friends to our house. All conversations with your children should be had out of love, even if they are conversations that will upset them.
@@taker0816 Good idea - letting the child come up with a different solution. I want to clarify ... I like to keep things positive, so I would say: "If you go to the party, you are doing so without my permission." Thanks again for your contributions here!
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I see the difference in tone and appreciate the example.
If I attempt to control, I get hit, scratched, or screamed at.
Stephanie P, reach out to your pediatrician and see if you can get your child tested. Be kind and gentle with them so they will see what behavior they are supposed to show.
What if my daughter insists what she wants and throws a tantrum and doesnt stop until you give her what she wants?
Glanda Lissa Guevara, It is a battle of wills and you will have to outwill her a few times for her to see your strength and power.
I can't do it anymore, I'm doing this alone, no love here ☹️
Sarahtina, I hope you know your Live On Purpose Community has your back. I hope the videos help. Call one of our coaches to find out what services we can offer you. www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
I'm sending you lots of love. It's so hard to be a parent and we all are doing what we can. I know it's not much, but you are not alone.
Do you help with autistic kids or do you have anything that will help with the struggle with autistic children.
Virginia Scallions, it is not a specialty and there are lots of good therapists out there who can help.
Is there a way how I could get in touch with you personally???? Any email?
Please:)
Maqsood Mohammed, I can't respond to individual requests as I just don't have enough time on my schedule. I do coaching and you can set up an appointment through the website.
What if I give 2 options and they want neither :)
Then you pick the one you want and you enforce it, that is why you are o.k. with both.
What if I give my 5 year-old child two choices but he refuses both of them?
Judith Calderon, remember that you are ok with either choice and you control one of them. When your child does not choose they ARE choosing. Then you implement the choice that you have control over.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you!
How to enforce a child who does go out without your permission, because I have in 16 year old who goes out without my permission.
Jewel Thompson, you probably can't control the behavior, you respond with consequences.
Okay ... I will tell her what can be happen if she goes places or do things without my permission.... now ... what if she go to the party without my permission and nothing happens then what will happen is she will start keep going places and doing things without my permission... she will start thinking she’s okay to take decisions ... that’s okay for learning ... but not okay if she gets into trouble.... hmmmmm complicated
M M, if she goes without your permission, then you give the consequence that you have control over, maybe cut off her phone or access to WIFI, whatever works for her.