Healthy Ways To Discipline Your Child
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- Опубликовано: 26 июн 2024
- Discipline is one of the essential things that children need growing up and as an advocate of positive parenting, I want to help you discipline yours in the healthiest possible way. Here are 5 ideas.
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Dr. Paul Jenkins
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#LiveOnPurpose
#PositiveParenting
I can’t thank you and your team enough for all this amazing content you share. It’s been almost exactly a year since I came across one of your videos and you started me on a journey of discovering myself and discovering the problem was never with my kids but with my raising techniques and lack of self control. When I first started watching your videos a year ago.. I am ashamed to say I was an abusive and compulsive mother.. Now, after one hard but consistent year, I still have much work to do, but I am no longer physical and don’t ever even think of using it as a means of discipline anymore!! I take deep breaths when upset with my kids and Shouting isn’t my preferred method of communication with them anymore! Yes.. I still raise my voice, but I always try my best to catch myself and talk to them with a Calm Face, Calm Voice, Calm Body. 😍💯 And my kids are soooo much more responsive!! They’re not ornery or violent anymore, thank you sooooooo much Dr. Jenkins!!!!
I am only sharing all this in hopes other parents can read this and see you’re never too far gone.. no matter how damaged your relationship is with your kids, as long as there’s breath left in you, start today, and you’ll thank yourself. Your kids will thank you. And watch as all the positive parenting videos!!
Sakina Kharrubi, we are honored to be on your team. You are the mother your children need.
It sounds like I have to change myself and not my kids
Sweett And Simple, and once we change, the kiddos seem to follow right behind.
I noted that as well. They see your example and lead with that.
That's the formula for each and every Nanny 911 and Super Nanny episode! You need to make sure your oxygen mask is on and adjusted before you can assist others!
Hhhhhhhhh you are right
Me to
Stay calm no emotions in descipline stay in control
Think and not fight.
Follow through with consequences
Emphathy
Control and maturity
Give two choices
Accountability and consequences
You got this.
I at times can catch myself arguing with my 7 year old because she isn’t listening and doing the thing I asked her to do, so after watching some videos on this channel for a few days, I have been doing the 2 choice thing and it works wonders. Normally washing hair and body at bath time my daughter tends to fight with me on it so I gave her 2 options and surprisingly enough she chose one and we went ahead and started 😮😲😳 I was like wow okay. Then I did it in a few other situations just to try and she was so cooperative and picked and we got it done. I did it in front of my husband one night and he was shocked bc it was normally something she tends to fight me on so he was surprised as well. Just remembering these little tips and tricks I’ve learned has helped me to in the end not yell and get frustrated etc bc of having to basically talk her into picking up her toys or getting ready for bed and so on. So glad I found this channel, I had been struggling not only with her but my older ones. Looking forward to watching more videos on here along with others to really help me with my parenting and just being a fun mother again not a mom that my daughter doesn’t want anything to do with etc. I really appreciate when I find channels and videos such as these. They really help when you don’t have money to pay for such services etc.
You are very welcome, I am glad they are helping.
I’m late but I love hearing how this tip worked with little resistance!
When moms smiling the kids/hubby is thinking!!!! Loooove it🌟
Yes, I love it! Thank you for watching and commenting, Candace Liebenberg.
Phew! You totally had my back today! I have been going nuts arguing with a fellow mommy and now I have words to back up my gut feeling! Yaay! It's all business because we have separated the emotion from the discipline!!!
PARENTRIX by Ira, glad it could help.
1. Separate the emotion and discipline..
2.
3.consequences
4.empathy
5.give 2 choices
Hi manila Philippines. Glad you are on the channel.
2. Think versus fight
2. Get back to thinking.
Dr. Paul, I'm going to replay this video till I learn the message by heart in hope for regaining control over my 6 y.old daughter and I mean it.😉
As we learn principles and add to our skill set as a parent, repetition is key, Kasia Misianda. Watch away. Honored to be on your team.
One other thing that is so important is to be consistent. When I don't feel well I might just give them what they want, and other times I have the strength to do it right. But I have to remember that I am not perfect, and it's okay to tell them: " I am sorry that I screamed at you". They usually say: that's okay, I forgive you.
Sigrid Kutz, we believe in do-overs. It is o.k. to give in when you aren't at 100%. You are human, give yourself a break sometimes. The kids will understand the difference, you can even tell them.
I watched this two years ago, and coming back to it now again! It’s nice to have a reminder of the basics :)
Love this platform. Come back anytime.
You are 💯 about the parent being out of control especially when under stress.. i absolutely I had to really look at my self as a single parent especially...its a very hard thing to do, guilt and shame follows with this process this channel helps you realize that you can change fast with dedication and know other parents are going through the same thing ❤️ if your watching your a great parent 💙
We are all in this together. Glad you are here in the mix.
My daughters needed this. They were acting absolutely horrendous over food.
Allison Lucas, I am glad you are sharing it with her. Thanks.
Dear Dr Paul, dealing with kids is , tho tough at times, still much easier than dealing with immature but grown-up people. Real tough to exercise the love n discipline b'cos the discipline(not getting what u want) means no love n they have ways to get what they want b'cos they're adults n no more kid-size.Their parents pampered them n it's tough balancing the "loven discipline"
Yes, Grace Bock, adults are definitely more of a challenge at times. Good comment.
Thank you so much for everything you do!! Your videos are WONDERFUL! They have really helped me with myself and my kids 💖💖💖
Thank you, Amanda Gray. Glad you are enjoying the videos.
Thank you Dr. Jenkins.
You are welcome, Lucid Horizon. Honored to be on your team.
These lectures are so awesome, thank you for your time Dr. Jenkins.
You are welcome, Evan Bowen. Glad you are finding them interesting.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV 1
Thank you so much Dr.Paul.😊😊😊
You are welcome, Jessica Ilano. Thanks for watching.
Love you so much for that Dr. Paul.
Glad you enjoyed the video, Venus Semmens. Thanks for watching.
I just love all of these sessions! I wish I had this so much sooner!
Glad you are here at the channel now.
I can agree separate emotion from decipline and have emphaty , be calm always when kids are whining for nothing / I work as a nanny the kids I look after are well behaved !
Cancer June, very well said. You sound amazing.
Wow! Very helpful! Appreciate it! Focus on what I can control!
You got this!
This is powerful advice. Dr Paul, you really understand kids and parents.
Dee F, thank you.
Thank you... Awesome advise
You are so welcome!
Live on purpose I have found in youtube so really good advice programmes for present world.
Thank you.
Thank you!!!!
You are so welcome, Zufan Gebresellausie.
I have been reading Pathological Positivity. It is so full of great information but I still need more
of Dr. Jenkins insights. So I am here watching and learning.
Tess Jones, thanks, please leave a rating at Amazon. Also, there is a podcast, liveonpurposeradio.com.
So great, so inspiring !
Meghraj Adhikari, honored to be on your team!
Great ideas, they are so true.
Glad you enjoyed the video, rose fragale. Thanks for watching.
Love your videos, I just wish you would give examples on what to say , consequences example related to their age
Great suggestion!
Thank you! I needed to hear this. This morning I have a 3 and 5 year old both boys.
You are so welcome! You got this, Tristan.
You are so so great...life changing. Xoxo
Glad to have you with the Live On Purpose Family, FreeMe Life.
Thank you, you are helping me so much!
I'm so glad!
Thank you for your videos.
Adda ZZintrainer, you are welcome.
Thank you so much D/r
You are very welcome, Reta Sa. Thank you for watching.
Thank you alwayz Dr Paul 😀 stay amazing 👍. I take your timeless wisdom with me everyday 😁. Have a phenomenal day everyone filled with lots of unconditional lovez, light, and laughter 😊😘👍👍👍💕💟💞💓💜💝🌟🌠✨💫🔥🍀🌈☀🌈🌷🌹🌼🌻🎶🎊🎶🎇💰💵💰💵
It is a great day, Deseree Kjersem. Thanks for your positivity.
i wish my parents couldve seen this video when they were raising me :|
great video as always though! your tips always help me to be a better mom and make my life much easier (and dad's too ;) )
RS, thank you for your kind words. I am glad the video was helpful.
So glad i found you Doctor!!!Greetings from Greece
Welcome! Kostas Kovalas, glad you are part of our community.
Thanks so much Dr Paul for the videos, helps a lot . Am very grateful to you. Thanks. Best wishes to you
You are very welcome
Again and always, very well done. I'm obsessed.
Thank you for watching, honored to be on your team?
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Likewise
I’m using these tips as a daycare teacher as well as a parent.I have 4 one and a half year olds at work and at home a 9 year old and 13 year old daughters.Thanks for helping!
I'm so glad! Thanks, Deborah, please share with any other parents you think might be interested.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV shared one other video on Facebook
Love and discipline! Thank you
Yes, kvilleify, they really go together. Thanks for watching.
Absolutely 🙌 working on this every single day day lol
You got this!
Thank you so much for the knowledge you share in your videos. It helped me so much in the communication with my kid.
Glad to hear it, Quick Ben. Keep watching, more coming.
You're welcome
Thank you so much sir..... Nowadays u became my parenting coach... I feel excited and confident whenever I go through any one of your videos... All these are truly guiding to transform me to be a compassionate mom and enjoy the motherhood.... Thanks a lot once again..... Your effort is great...
Smriti Halder, honored to be on your team. So glad you are enjoying motherhood.
Me and my husband do two things that are different from what our parents did. We tell our children that we love them everyday and we apologize to them after a conflict. Yet I still often feel like I'm not enough and that I one day will have a dissapointed child in the future. We are financially blessed and have baught pretty much everything our children need and wished for (regular things and toys). Yet I often stumble upon myself not feeling enough and having guilt over old conflicts were I felt I lost emotional control. I feel I might just wanted to share my feelings here and hope someone feels the same.
A Av, celebrate your successes and practice positive thinking.
This is brilliant advice! Every parent should watch. This stuff works because it’s based on deep analysis of human behaviour and psychology. I can testify as a parent myself. The empathy bit is very hard cause majority of us didn’t get it as kids ourselves and a lot of people don’t even know how it’s crucial in parenting and don’t have a deeper understanding of it. Do you have some videos about developing the empathy skill as a parent and the importance of it? Thank you
Jagoda Hoffman, thank you so much for your comment. There is proven long-term research and principle based.
Warms the heart, warms the soul. This music is very soothing. Stay connected :) 👍😀😆
Honored to be on your team.
Wonderful I will tray
I am honored to be on your positive parenting journey, Reta Sa. Thanks for being here.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you so much D/R I really appreciate your help it's also effective
I'm listening to this out loud and my 5 year old son is listening and bursted "That sounds like me! Frustrated and Angry" We're both listening to talk it out and not pop like headless chickens 🤗
Wonderful! I love it when families listen together and then support each other to make positive changes.
I have a problem. I gave my three-year-old two choices on a school day. I told him that he had to get ready for school. He said no. I told him that either he gets dressed or Daddy will dress him. He refused to get dressed and resisted when I tried to dress him. He started to cry like a crybaby as usual. So, I just gave up. What do you do in that situation when you give a child two choices, but the child cries hysterically after you try to give a consequence??
Give them a reason to do what you want. Figure out what he wants and he gets it when he gets dressed.
My 3 yr old boy has not yet reached the skill level of dressing himself. He is a very emotional type and i put more effort into helping him feel at ease especially in the mornings when evryone should be taking their time to move. I take more action on my part to dress the child and allow them spare time in bed so their mental state isnt so disrupted by the early-rising that modern lifetsyles demand.
Even when your child is in a bad mood it helps to remain unaffected by it. Toddlers are so emotionally demanding, that i try to preserve my emotional charge for situations that are not so trivial as morning-grumpies. Sometimes u gotta be in a bright mood for your own sake. And when the child is ready to join you, they will get to reinforce that whole process of coming back to a cheerful mood by knowing u will be there.
Also to add on to my other comment, she had chose a third option one night and my husband was waiting bc he knew she would do this and instead of me arguing with her and getting frustrated and yelling at the poor girl, losing my cool, I have been learning how to keep my calm and just not let the conversation escalated so high. For instance I had simply said the 3rd option would not work this time as we only agreed on the 2 and that one or the other would be it and she chose and we moved on. I couldn’t believe it because normally she will explore a third option and I end up giving in and this is why she keeps doing it bc she knows I give in... anyways LOL long story short I’m just thankful for people like you helping people like me 🙂
Honored to be on your team.
Dr. I just appreciate (love) you, your work, insight, approach. I don't have healthy examples from my parents or upbringing, so I learn so much from you! I've learned that I'm too inconsistent with my children, kinda afraid to discipline, but have been practicing. I'm such a weenie, a single full-time working mother (my daughters are amazing) but I need to give them everything they need to be healthy fruitful people. What are guidelines for discipline options, like amount how much time in time out, or taking object away...I struggle finding the options for them to choose.
Christina Morales, it really depends on the child, how much do they need to get the message? Experiment. Some go by a minute per year. If the child doesn't get the idea, you can add a couple minutes. You are not alone, this is a common question.
What if the Parent is immature & has no empathy?
And the Child gets Shamed.. blamed.. rejected.. yelled at through rage? How does a child “handle that?” They Are Confused!
HISIAM888RUHIS888, it is a tough situation and the number one thing to get clear on is what you control and what you don't. You don't control your parent, you control you. You can decide what to listen to and what not to. You can decide the truth and you can decide that you are not going to treat other people this way.
HISIAM888RUHIS888, it is a tough situation and the number one thing to get clear on is what you control and what you don't. You don't control your parent, you control you. You can decide what to listen to and what not to. You can decide the truth and you can decide that you are not going to treat other people this way.
But if I react with a smile when my 3 year old is being impolite, wouldn't he think that I agree with what he is doing and that I'm being 'part' of his game?
The smile is not agreeing with him being impolite, it is letting him know that the action he is taking will not have the effect of getting a rise out of you. That is what most kids want to do, Beatriz Alicia Palacio Jaramillo. You will still tell him that his behavior is not allowed and if he continues, disciplining him, with the smile.
Hey, how about healthy ways to discipline your spouse who sabotages your parenting style??
Yikes! Get some professional help to get the both of you on the same page and supporting one another.
This has been a blessing to me, thank you! I did not issue a consequence for my son (8) lying so much lately. Just another talk, but should I be issuing a consequence?
Yes, and reward when he is telling the truth.
How to help my husband. He blows up because my kid was talking with a kid during his game. He blows up often :/ for little things. Because our child drop something, because he didn't answer the way he wants to. We are happy and peace when he is not around even my child 8 years old told me if one day I want divorce him. :/
How sad, get him into go.liveonpurposecentral.com for our positive power-up course or you can buy it at positivepowerup.com. Schedule a breakthrough call for no cost at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Can you do a video about this topic related to high schoolers failing classes?
I think there is something like that on the teenage playlist. Check it out and see if it is what you are looking for.
Thank you for the tips, but personally I found so many hard words, as mom would love to understand more by giving examples of each tip please
Expats in India With madame Sana, I will work on that.
Can I give you a hug? A great one? Well, fell yourself hugged.
Hugs are good, and high fives and fist bumps. Thanks for watching, alcaloidedoergot.
Kids that play you like a violin know what they're doing. They will count on your emotional investment in them to keep you in your place as rescuer. The longer you keep rescuing and the older they get, the more dire the consequences will be for them. And the more your retirement moves forward from when you originally planned to take it. But you alone have the power to take back your life. Just STOP being the rescue squad!!!
Yes, let them experience consequences when the cost is lower. Don't wait until you can't control it any longer and the costs are huge.
Dr. Paul, thank you for the another awesome collection of tips!
Question. We had a rough morning today. Our 8 y o son insisted on having other breakfast than was served 3 minutes before leaving the house. He stubbornly refused to leave even after I and my husband paitently explained that there is no time and having that BF tomorrow option didn't satisfy him. My husband had to take him forcefully to the car in tears and resistance, which was very painfully for all of us. He escaped from the car and this drama lasted 30 min after we HAD to leave the house. What strategy and behaviour would you recommend to us? He has issues with insisting on his rules and consequences as limiting screen time are not actually related to this situation - are these ok to use?
Thank you so much!
Hi Nichka, please check out the video on the Parenting Playlist, How To Get Your Kids To Listen Without Yelling. You need to take him to the car without any emotion, just give him the choices and then follow through. He will begin to see that you mean business and he can't control the course of the morning, that is what he is trying to do. You may want to try having no screen time for a week and see if his behavior is different. Some children cannot handle it during the school week. He may need more time to go through the morning routine, also. Some children do not like being hurried. Experiment and see what happens.
Didn't work for me. When I refused to give in to my child's tantrum , she used to scream for hours. For every little demands screaming for hrs. Continued for a whole month. Then I had to follow my own method. If I smiled she screamed even more. If I tried to console she cried louder. If I put her down she screamed horribly. I literally had to tolerate high pitched screaming for hours everyday for every little thing while holding her on my lap like a stone.any move from my side triggered louder screams. When some of her demands are not met, maybe not even by me, but someone else, she screamed coming to me. If I tried to divert her attention, even if sometimes I succeeded to do so, making her laugh, she eventually resumed that annoying groans in a couple of minutes and it went on for 2 hrs till I literally screamed at her horribly.
If u have any solution, pls let me know. If I give her 2 choices she always comes up with a third one with screams. Things are better now, these days my words , that .." if you weren't so busy screaming n crying , we could have played a lot," kind of works.
Do what works for your child. Every parents needs to understand their child. Sounds like you have a handle on it.
What would be an appropriate consequence for a 15 year old who didn’t have permission to go somewhere but went anyways?
It depends on the child and the situation, Amanda P. What motivates the teen? It could be having him or her write an essay, it could be doing additional yardwork or chores, it could be missing out on an event or having their curfew tightened up. Ask them what they think should be the consequence, if appropriate.
Live On Purpose TV up
The free links on the description don't work Doc. I'm saving up for Positive Parenting. Not cheap esp. Coming from a third world country but my kid deserves parents I never had.
Here is the link: drpauljenkins.info/portablepositivity. Thank you for your kind words and we will be back with more videos.
It really does work, I tried once and my 6 year old immediatly stopped doing what she was doing.. But it piss me off when she's deliberately trying to annoy the younger siblings, I have 3 all under the age 6, one and a half year apart.. please advise,
Jessy Hijarunguru, so glad the videos are assisting you as a parent. I have a couple videos that might help with the older sister annoying her younger siblings. We have "How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry," found here: ruclips.net/video/ptCh4FQ7mDc/видео.html, or "How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry In Toddlers" here: ruclips.net/video/zovg9uFwbkc/видео.html. Thank you for watching.
Now does this apply to smaller children also such as 2 year olds? My son is 2 with a ifsp and a possible learning defect, and we have a new born baby in the home so I want to discipline him appropriately to teach him the right way how to act around his new baby sister ❤️ keep a productive environment for both my little ones!!
Ariadne Ravenwillow, On a smaller scale. Don't overthink this, keep the rules simple and be consistent.
What are some of the examples of "consequences" ?
It really depends on the child, littlepea12. It could be time out, losing screen time, losing a privilege of a toy or having an extra chore. It could be writing a paper, depends on the age of the child and what they respond to.
What do when ur 8 year old lil girl and 5 year old boy isnt listening to me and aruging back with me and yelling ,having attitudes,back talking and not listening to what u tell them to do or ask them to do? And when they are misbehaving what is good conquenses for them to displicine them.? I need advice to give my friend
Amanda Compton, I don't know anything about them or their lives. It could be anything from having chores to losing privileges such as no electronics or access to something they enjoy. It is also about praising them when their behavior is positive.
who's here before having kids?
Sharky, glad you are here. We have babysitters, childcare workers, teachers, we welcome anyone wanting to learn more positive behavior.
I have two young kids if you are paying attention this you will be the best parent ever and find parenting an absolute joy
Having kids and following this advice is pure joy . Having kids is the best!!! And I had them late 35 then 41 so I know it's the most special thing ever
💜💜💜
Thank you.
Hi sir
I have a question
Does cerebellar atrophy in age of 30 years with unbalance walking can be cured??
That is beyond my scope of practice, drsaba khan. Thanks for watching the videos.
What do ya do with narcissistic or bpd or other diagnosis?
Laura C, depends on the diagnosis, usually behavioral therapy.
Do these healthy discipline techniques work also for special needs, like autism spectrum, ADHD, or absence seizure children?
Not always. The capabilities of each child need to be taken into consideration.
But what to do when my 6 years old with ASD get in that point when he doesn't care anything but to fight and hit, bite, etc,? Instead to manege is getting harder, what the best way to react as a parent who's been trying to help him and is not working. Thank you Dr.
Give the consequences and be consistent with a calm face, calm body, calm voice, Brenda Valdes. Move him to a safe place and wait out the storm, it will pass and then you can talk.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you Dr. for your feedback.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️❤️
Salas For Kings, thank you so much.
❤❤❤❤
Thank you!
Glad you are here.
Dr. Paul Jenkins, what if my 7 year old daughter didn't really obey me even once. She does whatever she wants to do even if I say no to her. I can't control her from playing computer games. she always uses the desktop of my big brother playing computer games for hours and doesn't stop even thouugh you ask politely to her to stop and study or play with her toys or have some bondinf with me. I really do need help with this being a single mother. Thank you. May God bless you always.
Glanda Lissa Guevara, at 7 years old? Yes, you can tell her she is not allowed to play. Have a password put on the computer and she can't sign on. At 7 years old she doesn't have the emotional maturity to decide this, that is what parents are for.
Thank you so much Dr. Paul Jenkins. I'LL try doing my best to convince my daughter to stop computer games. I'm really praying hard that this problem with my daughter will end. Keep safe always. God be with you and your family.
Can you please help me to increase my toddler who is 1.5 year old, he never gets hungry, I have to some outdoor surrounding during feeding, please help to improve his appetite
Vinuta Shrikhande, I am not sure what I can do beyond the video. If you would like individual coaching you can reach out through my website.
What to do if they choose Door Number 3. My toddler always choose that option😭. Please advise.
OneGod, there is no door number 3. There are two choices, you are o.k. with both and you control one of them. When they don't choose or try to choose something else, you put into play the option that you have control over. They learn pretty quick that trying to choose another option will not work.
Thank you Dr. Paul🙏
I don’t understand :(
Habiba Royees, try watching some of the other videos and see if something makes sense for you. It if is a language problem, you can copy the text and put it into google translator to see if that helps.
Please I have a child who is almost three years old but she doesn't talk,I have taken her for check up several times,please what can I do?
Andrew Rebecca, in addition to what the doctor has recommended for you, we do have some videos that address this subject:
"How To Create A Language-Rich Environment At Home" - ruclips.net/video/9q1oTFs0EVQ/видео.html
"What Causes Speech And Language Disorders?" - ruclips.net/video/U3I3coDKCz4/видео.html
"How To Help A Child With Receptive-Expressive Language Disorder" - ruclips.net/video/84oAdEfXY3Y/видео.html
"How Can I Help My Child To Talk?" - ruclips.net/video/_tJ0CCmIhbM/видео.html
I just love all of these sessions! I wish I had this so much sooner!
Share away with anyone you think could benefit.