1960s Cop Thinks Teens Are Too Controlled
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- View the entire clip here - • These Teenage Baby Boo...
In this video I am presenting clips from the classic 1966 documentary "Sixteen At Webster Groves - Webster Groves Missouri. It was produced by filmmaker Arthur Barron who I was honored to work for on several of his films. Webster Groves is clearly not typical as its teenagers were upper-middle-class and richer. Remember that about 40% of the huge baby boomer generation say that they participated in the activities of the 1960s. This video presents the views of a portion of the 60% who didn't participate and who essentially looked forward to living just like their parents did. I would not call them typical teenagers but they are certainly representative of a group who was just fine in the 1950s.
Many commentators talk about the fact that they would rather have lived during this time and then one of these people then to live in today's world which they see as trash relative to how these people lived. Although I did not spend much time working on this production, I did some film work with upper middle-class white 1960s baby boomer era teenagers and their attitudes and behavior we're not dissimilar from what teenagers felt in the 1950s in the suburban white "American dream" middle class. There were many rebels who looked like other teenagers at that time but were not. I remember a conversation that I had with the producer where he said that in this community, there seem to be almost no rebels.
It would certainly be fascinating to talk to these people today but unfortunately, I don't have the names of any of the people who participated in this film. Hopefully some will watch this clip and choose to comment.
View the entire clip here - ruclips.net/video/giQxUkZ4Anc/видео.html
Kids need structure, not domination. They should have boundaries, but also the freedom to live and experience life.
I like your comment best.
@@MaudlinDreams666 Thanks. I appreciate that.
@nasis 18
BEST COMMENT WITH COMMON SENSE!
@@anastaziak6621 Thanks friend.
We need to remember that kids are just small humans trying to learn how to live in this world
This cop probably saw Hell on Earth when he was a teenager.
@@xyz12345457 Depending on his age, this cop could have served in WW2, which is definitely the closest thing to hell on earth.
It's not the point, and that is what is wrong with this generation. They can't stay on point. So America is in a shambles.
@@Andrew-xl3gr bingo.
Yep during the Great Depression or before the end of 1945 😢
@@garysmith1863 Bingo? More like yay someone random gave me a get out of jail free card. What does the war whether he served in it or not have to do with his teenage years? Can't serve as a teenager btw. You aren't done when I'm around cause I'll make you work for it.
Very refreshing to hear from a person of authority around this time
You must be white
Not really things seems worse now in a time where parents almost have no control
@LiterallyMark1 the cops are also opposite now tho.....they want full control and to take your rights...But the past as alot of drawbacks as well lots of problems asbestos buildings and outspoken racism no internet. Not everything was better.
Even on the 90s it Rea getting hard to find folks like this.. were the only country that taught itself to hate itself - patriotism bad
@@LiterallyMark1 I disagree somewhat. My brother-in-law regularly hires teenage musicians for his traveling rock bands and I've helped him on some of his shows and the young people he's found all over the western US are serious, cheerful and clean (no drugs) citizens. As an outsider, if found that very encouraging.
This is why film/video are so important. This guy is being heard 60 yrs later, and will continue being heard. He's sort of immortalized.
Actually 80 years by now
@@hainleysimpson150764 years
2024 - 80 = 1960
Got it, thanks
@@ferretlord3990Fr. It's not 80, it's 60. Lol
@@hainleysimpson1507Actually,* now.* Actually, it's 60 years. You should work on your addition/subtraction skills.
I had parents who were so controlling that I wasn't even allowed to have a social life. They wouldn't even allow me to get a job or a license. Then, at 17 they said I was on my own. I had no clue what to do. It took me several years to get over panic attacks I began having in public and even longer to teach myself how to take care of myself. I'm 41 and just now purchased my own home. I just now feel like an independent adult.
I was raised by boomers too. I get ya.
I'm glad you were able to change.
Same experience. But I'm currently 26 and just now feeling confident enough to go to college for the first time. Being locked away in a room then suddenly thrown out of that room is confusing, jarring, and just plain old awful. It makes you miss that room and the simplicity life was to not need to think or socialize
That's cold. It like being raised in a fish tank, then tossed to the sharks.
Congrats on the house! You fucking did it man. We all have to go through shit to get to that place and ALOT of us don’t make it. Be proud and hold your head up high that you fucking did that shit like a boss! The length of time it takes is irrelevant. It just showed your balls are the size of the sun to persevere that long!
It reminds me of a quote i heard second-hand one time. "They just spent 12 years being told when they can eat, sleep, shit and piss, and you expect them to make good life choices?"
Edit: If you don't get it, the quote is basically saying that you can't expect us to be functioning adults if you don't actually teach us anything. If you're the type of person who shields their child from everything the world has to offer them, you're a part of the issue. Give them freedom and a little bit of respect for their personal space and you will have a functioning adult on your hands.
Edit 2: the audacity from people who lived during the greatest economy, government, military, and society North America has seen to date. If you genuinely think that GenZ and GenA have it easier than you did, you're delusional. Absolutely, completely and utterly batshit
They were never told "here's something, work it out" or "go outside, play, and be here for dinner". No room to do for themselves, to figure it out themselves, or be shown how to do it and be expected to do it themselves. A child in the 70s and 80s, if something broke, you had to tried to fix it because Mom nor Dad will be home for another hour or two.
@robertsteinbach7325 exactly, I can count on one hand how many times I got to visit a friend or sleepover. How many times have I chosen anything for myself, etc. I'm not for child labor but you can see how oppressed children and young adults just by the laws regarding them in the last century. In 1900, I could have gotten married, had a job, a house, and was on my way to get a car by 15. Now, I can't get a job until 16, I can't drink, smoke, get married, or even be considered a peer until I'm 25. Everyone including children are oppressed af and nobody will talk about it. Our education system and economy is trashed, our military can't recruit and the government doesn't fix any homeland issues aside from the easy stuff. It's almost a failed state
@@Defense0001sounds like a skill issue
@@Defense0001
😔
The poverty and ultra violence were probably a factor too
Wow, respect to that cop in history.
They had curfew in Berkeley CA
This cop looked like a cousin of
Malcolm X
The glasses and face shape
Even seems to have his vibe
@@kathleenking47he really does
Everybody's "in history"
@@kathleenking47 It's funny...beacause I was thinking, "man, this cop sure reminds me of somebody..."
And I couldn't figure out who.
But yes, Malcolm X. Definitely. 👍
@@kathleenking47malcom x also didnt like white people too so there def could be correlation
That cop looks 40ish which means he was born in the 1920s. He saw ww2 as a young adult. He probably had to be very self reliant when mom worked in the factories and dad was off to war. Weird how we suffer from a new brand of conformity today
If he was born in the 1920s, HE probably fought in the war himself. If he was born in 1927, he would have been old enough to join the war in 1944 after D-Day, or maybe even fight on D-day, since recruitment age was 17 then. His father might have fought in WW1 though
Boomers run the country, they want the government to continue to take care of their every need...
Yes!
PS -- Side note -- If you read some of the nineteenth century writers you will find thinkers like yourself -- Try Carlyle, Charles Lamb, R.L. Stevenson, F.H. Bradley's "Ethical Studies", Chapter III, p. 84-89 -- {Sounds hum drum but if you give is 5 mints per day of 12 myths you will get into it} Surprisingly, Plato and Seneca is very modern -- (Aristotle is the boring one)--
I think many parents forget that they are raising future adults and more emphasis needs to be placed on allowing kids to practice taking risks, develope skills that will help them be profecient at meeting their own needa and helping their fellow humans.
@@skyraider87no he didn’t. He’s an American. He may not have fought at all.
The most controlled and sheltered children often end up becoming the most wild, out of control and unhinged adults.
Stop talking about me rn
So basically the hippies
No. Just your degenerate Greco-Roman culture.
I grew up with no self reliance due to overprotective parents and this cop is 100% right. You have to let kids make their decisions and their own mistakes, otherwise they can’t learn.
You can’t beat that into the parents heads tho- they genuinely don’t see that they’re doing it. I’ve had people tell me about how bad other parents are with doing everything for their children-including talking for them; completely blind to that being exactly how they themselves are. I’ll even comment examples of things THEY are doing- and they’re like “YEAH! Exactly!” 🤦🏻♀️ Ask their kid a question and they start answering for them 🙄 I say… didn’t know your name was so and so 🤨
To an extent
Same. And learning that skill as an adult in environments where you're supposed to have it figured out already is embarrassing and exhausting
My nigga I grew up with no parents born to Junkies. Adopted by racists left at 15 now im 25 wit my 6 n 3 yr old...BOTTOM LINE DO WTF U WANNA DO AN IF THEY GOTTA PROBLEM 🖕🏾 EM😂😂
No one needs “self-reliance” or independence
You know you messed up when a cop of all people tells you you’re too controlling
Is this why the baby boomers turned out the way they did?
@@thomasprislacjr.4063And that's why we hate dinosaurs
Yes also back right after ww2 most of the cops were veterans who'd seen the full horrors of that war.
@@thomasprislacjr.4063that, and lead poisoning 🤷♂️
@@DumplingDoodleAnd asbestos.
He's spot on about how when someone is constantly told what to do it interferes with their ability to be self reliant. It's honestly just sad because a lot of the time parents will be overly strict with their kids then get confused on why their kids keep asking them permission and not taking initiative when they were never taught to only that authority has the first and last word. This is very similar to what happened in Japan during the Fukushima power disaster where they were so stuck asking permission from those above them that they didn't know what to do when their bosses weren't able to properly assess what was going on.
Look at any homeless vet
this was my grandma when i was in my teens
and also being overly strict and verbally abusive can cause the kid to want to self medicate to deal with the stress and then they have to hide that too, and then its more and more stress of where to hide it, what to do if it falls out of your pocket, etc. and its just a feedback loop until the addiction either gets worse or there is a turning point.
sadly for me that turning point had to be me overdosing, thankfully because of how i usually sleep my seizure, hitting my head on the wall, was an alarm for them to check on me. but the good news is, everything can change.
@Crazyclay78YT
Proud of you homie. 🤜🤛
Edited for the @ because I didn't realize it wasn't included until notifications.
I group up with a stay at home parent who was so controlling they question me on my reasoning for getting a drink from the fridge. Hell I had to explain why I was thirsty and needed a drink. They also tried grounding me at 23.
He speaks about the youth as if he actually cares about them and probably did.👏❤️
Yes
Yes, he's an example of what a cop should be.
Correction, he cared about the *white* youth. But he's a cop in the 1960s and so part of his LITERAL job description was beating up black people if they ever tried to drink out of a water fountain.
@@virg0_lem0nade you're assuming that he agreed with that. There were cops who stood against that even then.
@@virg0_lem0nade everything about what you said is reductive and uninformed. unless you know or have met this man personally, you have no right to assume that just because he was a cop.
When I was in highschool in 2009 to around 2012 I felt so horribly isolated. My parents didn't know how to talk to other parents, and every time I asked to go over to somebody's house they said "you don't want to overstay your welcome." And so we just stayed home and did homework, and creative projects too. But the cabin fever was very real. I'm so grateful for college, where I learned how to converse with other people my age.
I don’t get boomers’ crippling fear of “overstaying their welcome.” Maybe in their generation people would just silently judge you for staying too long instead of asking you to leave?
In my first year of uni this older guy said with shock “don’t you think you’re overstaying your welcome?!?” when I told him I was staying with a friend’s parents for two weeks during the holidays. Like, buddy, I’ve known you for like two weeks and you don’t even know my friend or her parents. You think it’s your job to educate the younger generation on guest etiquette or something??
We need a combination of self reliance, self control, and self respect. In most generations we lean too hard on one of the three and ignore the others.
Cough cough only fans 15 year old has none of these
Much respect to this insightful cop. The attitude about control explains a lot about the rebellious nature of the 60's. In fact, most people don't like to be pressured/forced to conform.
Thanks for the daily doses of wisdom!💜
I agree. But these days, the kids can't think for themselves or problem solve. Almost like they need someone to tell them how to do everything. That's my experience working with the generation coming up.
Insightful or not, he's a bastard too.
Children need to be raised, instead of given things in lieu of attention. Just housing, feeding & ignoring them won't work!
@@darci1410I guess you didn't hear about the youth group, aged 5 to 22, who sued Montana over climate change and won, while the adults were...? The Washington Post article I read about it said the win made headlines around the world.
Rebellious?? Speaking out for your god-given rights and NEEDS is NOT being rebellious.
That's the last thing I would have expected from a police officer, but his reasoning is very sad. He understands human behavior better than parents do.
and just about 99% of officers today.
He the cop might and probably was a Father himself understood what it takes to raise a successful self reliant young adult.
It sounds like today. The very people this cop was talking about grew up into old people complaining about kids being over-parented and not learinng self-reliance. The irony is delicious.
Nah, we complain that kids aren't disciplined enough. As we snort abother fat line and develop psychosis
older generations complaining about the youth is a tale as old as human history.
That explains us Gen Xers. We were the least controlled and most self-reliant generation.
@@robertsteinbach7325 I’m trying to disagree with you, as a Millenial, but I can’t. you win this one
yeah, this happened for thousands of years.@@jojothetasmaniansassmonkey8866
If you're gonna teach kids that the only reason they should or should not do something is the punishment, than NO WONDER that they do bad stuff after that thread of punishment is gone.
Exactly! I'd much rather my kids not steal from someone because they consider how that person would feel, not because they think they might get in trouble.
@@hclyrics Or atleast they should know that even if they wont get in trouble because of their parents, they just might because of the law and people they hurt that might just decide to fight back
People spend too much time teaching the consequences but not explaining the reason for those consequences
Just remember, the old times really weren't as great as most people make them out to be.
If you’ve ever read the beginning of 1984, you know how someone can react to suddenly having freedom of expression. The shock of a sudden flip from an extreme to anything BUT that extreme can break people
U do know that its not a real Story right? Its fantasy you know that right???
@@blub-tf6rt You don't have a strong enough grasp on the english language to discuss this in english
@@blub-tf6rt irrelevant. The best FICTION stories can convey real life lessons. I’m sorry all the fiction they shove in your face today is simple fantasy drivel.
I've seen it in real life. It's unsettling.
My grandmother is a good example of that concept at work. She was raised in a strict Christian household, became a teen, experienced her first freedom away from her parents, got pregnant with my uncle and ran off with her first boyfriend, then proceeded to have 9 more children out of spite and not all with the same man.
Look at the kids he was talking about now and you will see just how correct he was!
Shiiiiii as a black teen, I agree with you
@@animecity9678thank you for letting us know. The guy with the 2017 Jah pfp named animecity9678 is indeed a black teen
Facts, they are way out of control!
The boomers
@@azraelmortis62I fucking cackled
The parents of the 50s grew up during the Depression and War. From that collective trauma, to abundant wealth, they overcorrected for their childhoods and ended up creating a ripple effect that’s still felt today.
yep
It's the age old cycle exemplified: Hard times create hard people, hard people create good times, good times create good people, good people create hard times.
@@knicknevin9975 "soft".
@@knicknevin9975 soft people, not good people.
I think that every generation overcorrects something from their own upbringing that they didn't like. For example: people say that Millennials and Gen Z are overprotected and over-supervised. The majority of their parents are Generation X, whose claim to fame is very little parental involvement growing up. It'll be interesting to see how the Zoomers parent in the future.
Now we’ve swung so far in the opposite direction that kids can’t do anything for themselves either.
Calm yer boots there sir, infact parents are still controlling, all complacent and more stagnated than old well water, but soon we will have to fight WW3, so that makes us stronk men as Russians only, and Chinese and all our red friends... but western is weak that is true very weak.
A 13 year old can have a bodyciunt of 5
He was right. Liberty is the mother of responsibility.
its by design self reliance isnt beneficial to people trying to control your actions.
Fast Forward to the 2000s where kids can only play while supervised, doing an organized activity, on "play dates" arranged by the parents. Where high school age kids are driven by their parents to the school or bus stop, even when the bus stops 1 house over from their own. And when those of us parents let their kids go out and play on their own, walk to the school that is 3-6 miles away, and incrementally earn more and more independence are considered "neglectful". 🙄 That officer was absolutely right. My kids are in their 20s now. And their friends are just now learning how to "adult" with my kids' help.
Well said!!
I was blown away when I found out my girlfriends 14 year old sister had to be driven or walked to the bus stop and couldn’t go alone and never had when it’s not even 50 feet down the house in the view of the front. I am 25 and was walking myself back home from grade school miles away. She’s a teenager and she hasn’t ever had friends come over to her house and her parents have to do all of these checks and clearances just for her to hang out with a friend she’s known forever it’s wild but then the weird kicker is that she gets full internet access with no supervision or restriction it makes zero sense
Fun fact: children who walk or cycle to school have better academic results.
When I was growing up in the 90's, there was an unofficial curfew after 9. You would just randomly be picked up by the police and taken home if you were just walking around. It was terrible. No camping, no freedom unless you took it when and where you could.
because of my grandmother, she was strict and limited everything because she was VERY religious and forced it onto me. i cut my hair and she freaked out at me lol. she even hit me, but idc. i used to sneak out and hang out with my friends and we listened to music, i dressed in the clothes i wanted to (my grandma only limited me to dresses and skirts), and i watched movies my grandma would never let me watch. im glad im outta there now
Talk about control when I was 18 to 23 my parents were turning down jobs that were calling for me. I lost the opportunity for a good career, lifetime earnings, benefits.
How is that even legal?!
23 is still young, though. You could of done something.
This is such a refreshing take, usually when I hear people complain about the lack of resilience in young people it’s like "oh they need to be punished harder so they learn to toughen up" instead of "let kids be people"
Too much freedom can lead to a teenager seriously messing up their life. I've seen it happen. But too much control can lead to the same issue as well. It's always about balance.
The fact that this insight is from a cop in the 1960s makes it all the more interesting. When hearing things like this, I often wonder how the world looked through their eyes.
It’s crazy how there was an awareness of this yet nothing changed and it actually kept increasing until it peaked in the mid 2000s
Uhhh, ever hear of the 60's?
It certainly goes against my stereotype of 1960s cops.
That's based on the media's ability to just show the negative images is mZktha5rhñyou the m
Media ?
That's the thing about stereotypes.
The cops generation was much more responsible and family sharing burdens reliant grew up much earlier became adults with more adult minds much earlier than what he's now seeing. that's his lens
Stop with the stereotypes. It just seperates us as humans. We are all one and all connected
"Youngsters" feels so incredibly friendly, it's like a nickname for a hole group of people, unlike "teens" which people almost spit out
I have a friend who grew up not being able to go anywhere except school, work, or home. He had a step mom who would make sure he was grounded 24/7 and his father would just go with whatever she said. Well, as soon as he was able to move out of there and was able to have some freedom, he pretty much immediately spiraled out of control. He was constantly losing his job, doing drugs, drinking constantly, dealing drugs, smoking, all while still being under-age. He was basically destroying himself because he had never had any freedom before and he just didn't know how to make good decisions. He's finally started turning his life around now, but it's still going to take quite a while to reverse all the damage he's done to himself over the years.
My grandmother was born in the 40's and she was exactly like this cop described; 'you should do this, you shouldn't do that' you know the kind of things that wouldn't necessarily translate well 30 plus years from then. Even to this day I don't think it was out of meanness; more like out of good intentions but without the sense of awareness that should go along with it.
Edit: I'm not talking about chores either.
Control freaks drive me absolutely crazy. I don't care what generation they're from.
Awww you poor victim, you had to do stuff!
@@bldontmatter5319 you completely missed the point lmao
@@bldontmatter5319 Your reading comprehension is horrible. If anyone should be doing something, it's you going back to school.
He was having to do the mental work to figure out what gets kids to a place where he's having to step in.
1960s TEENAGERS being too controlled lead to the hippie movement, a lot of very self absorbed people trying to impose their will on the world that everyone have no control or authority over others at all. 1980s latchkey kids grow up and have kids they become "helicopter parents," not controlling their children but not allowing them to learn on their own and become independent. None of this happens in a vacuum and most of our social problems always trace back to parenting, because parents are what shape a child's understanding and reaction to the world.
Very interesting take.
This is why I love my parents so much even though they aren't together anymore they never excluded me from my own decisions
Cop was a true observer and spot on. He was probably a great mentor to teens back then.
My father-in-law was a victim of this. He said once both of his parents were gone, he realized he no longer had to please them and could now think for himself, and he wished he would have done so years and years ago. As soon as this dawned on him, he called his daughter, my fiancee, and told her this as a cautionary tale, and to basically say not to live your life just to please him and her mom.
I think a lot of people misunderstand the work of law enforcement. People see them as mentally regimented because of the work, but the reality is that all the officers I've ever worked with are mentally flexible. You need it for problem solving. Being self reliant is an absolute must.
His comment about teenagers having over regimented lives and not developing self reliance sounds eerily familiar.
Partially true. Since people find it easier to characterize things as black and white, people tend to go to extremes and not even consider a balance. Freedom to grow, yet a guideline to follow, is paramount
And now Sony will soon buy Paramount 😢
Freedom to grow and a guideline to follow is never how parenting is done in the west. The guidelines are laws and enforced, rather than advice that the children are free to interpret and learn or discard as they see fit.
No one was thinking about those extremes but you, not the comments, not the video.
Nice job low-key disagreeing with a statement that was never said.
@@SaintRubicon eh, whatever nerd
That cop absolutely knows what he is talking about, Learned Helplessness is very much a real thing
The fact that that was coming from an officer of the law is honestly very telling, and I agree. Raise your child to know right from wrong, absolutely, but if you’re too controlling they won’t learn some of the critical things they need to.
That cop was ahead of his time! It’s nice to know we had those amazing souls working back in the 60s even to be the change
That cop was ahead of his time. There is always value in self-reliance.
when ur controlled you naturaly NEED to break free.. we MUST break free to become who were meant to be .... survive then thrive... that needs to be learnt without ruining your life with one or two mostakes
So insightful. This cop observed behavioral science and nailed. Wish people did that today. Thought independently. So many musts.
i personally think the best way to raise a child is to emphasize communication and honesty and compromise, the whole tough love vs overly nice stuff is both wrong imo, its better to teach right and wrong so they truly understand it and can add that experience onto their sense of morality and personality, rather than trying to bruteforce right and wrong with a punishment and leave them with lasting spite or just being more stealthy with their ""wrongdoings"" which they dont agree are wrong, or pampering them just to avoid the huge downsides of that
^this
That time in history was an inflection point in human civilization that few can really wrap their heads around. It was the transition of living in scarcity and conflict to living in abundance and peace.
Relatively, during and post ww2.
@@ChrisTurner-xj9wiyeah those wars compare to the 2 deadliest wars fought in human history, and our financial trouble compete with the GREAT derpression.
This is why so many people resonated with Frank Herbert's Dune in the 1960s. The book is Determinism v Free Will. It was a call to think for yourselves.
And this is exactly why a lot of grow up and never know what we wanna do with our lives
A parent’s job is to raise ADULTS, not children.
As a high school teacher, I see kids who literally can’t find their way around the city they’ve lived in their entire lives. They have no social skills, and they’re terrified of adulthood… because they’ve been kept in a state prolonged adolescence by their overprotective or absent parents.
Earl Nightingale made a similar observation, saying, "The problem with people today is conformity." And he wasn't necessarily talking about the teenagers. He was talking about their parents and their follow-the-leader mentality in life and livelihood. This is as true today as it was back then.
It's so true! Nobody learns to think for themselves or figure out a problem if they're always just TOLD what to do and when to do it
These kids ended up raising the latchkey kids, whose life of neglect lead them to become today's helicopter parents. Parents need to learn that their job is to guide and shape their child's future, but allow them to suffer the consequences of their mistakes so they become learned and well adjusted adults.
Anyone else feel like we're about to watch history repeat itself in terms of teens and young adults lacking self reliance?
From my experience with Gen Z, they are going to make emotionally immature parents just like the boomers.
Many of today's cults have become very fashionable.
That's so enlightening! As a genXer I've been appalled by the lack of morality, sense of community and responsibility from Boomers but have not quite been able to put my finger on what the cause or remedy might have been. This makes sense! Very insightful man!
You know that people can’t be put into categories like « boomers » or « gen x/z/y/whatever » though, right?
And what exactly is the « lack of morality » your parents, their parents, or their friends gave you?
Also, nothing this cop says refers to a « lack of morality ». It refers to « too much control » or « too much of conforming others into social norms »
These posts trade in broad sweeping generalities. Teenagers from this generation were like this and kids of that generation were raised like that. The cop footage seems to be from the 50s not the 60s as stated.
@@xyz12345457 What is it that you understand?
@@xyz12345457 Could be. Late 50s, early 60s. I don't know if his outlook was a commonly held one. Depends on many factors.
Seen every behavior from every generation. Known controlling boomers and whatever boomers. Same with genX and millenials.
As someone who worked in both law enforcement and education, the closest thing I ever saw in society that resembled the average public school, was a minimum security prison.
I've have this EXACT problem in my own life. For some background, im Autistic, and all I've been taught is literally, where to go, and when to go. Then, on top of that, im told what to do and what time i have to do it.
So when people ask me, what do you want for your birthday? Or what do you want to do when you're older? I genuinely struggle with those questions.
Me too. In social situations or rare moments where i'm out and can choose where to go, I sometimes feel directionless and a bit anxious since I don't have someone i'm "supposed to trail behind". I'm 18, turning 19. Thankfully overtime i'm getting better but this was absolutely not great for me as a teenager.
I believe this theory of less control applies after a certain point in a child’s life. Most importantly it’s my belief teenagers need to be given the opportunity to mess up and not be vilified harshly for it albeit for the smaller things.
In my experience fathers play a huge role in this learning process. For it’s the father who knows something is risky but allows the child to partake in said risky behavior knowing his child may or may not get hurt whereas the mother may not allow the risky behavior to begin with.
I am personally talking about skateboarding but this can be applied to many many things throughout life for the child or children. A good balance is always the key to this or any situation as it relates to a child’s growth.
✌🏽
These kids were regimented when they simply needs guiderails. They didn't need to be told what to do, they just needed to be told what wasn't allowed. That's a big difference.
@@robertsteinbach7325 I definitely see your point for sure.
Similar to your “Guardrail” analogy my stepfather gave me a skateboard, helmet and knee pads, took me to a small hill and said go for it.
As a father I’m learning that I can’t teach my children everything but I can offer them suggestions or as you put or what’s not allowed.
Thanks for that comment!
✌🏽
hence the late 60’s revolution
i guess the pendulum swung hard
Member when counter culture was AGAINST control rather than FOR it? Pepper ridge farms remembers
@TMHLBPFan remember when conservatives didn't cry about counter cultures? Wait, thats never happened
Relevant for me, my parents were overcontrolling
Same.
Every generation thinks the teenagers below them are idiots. The problem is that every generation is correct.
i accidentally left my computer on and this played all day lol.
Noice
It takes a cop to really understand the effect of over control
That cop seemed like really smart for saying this
People had a better grasp of English language back then
@@infinitejest441 They still used punctuation in those days.
That cop didnt not also do rolls and shoot from acorn fear or have do yoy are have fight dark skin people, he prolly also had wife unlike today where girls have like 100 dudes on there phones
I grew up in a home where I was dealt lines to write, when my behaviour was deemed unsuitable. More severe.. the more lines. I kept semi-prewritten sheets. I must…I must..I must… this saved me hours. Hahahahahahahaha.
That's sad and disturbing talk about a mind fuck and from the people that we're supposed to love you wow
I grew up in the 80's and 90's and I learned self reliance at a very young age.
I thank my parents for that.
I’ve been self reliant for a long time. Being a loner with adhd for 12 years forced me to get comfortable with being alone. Now I’m in my 30s and I’m just fine. Not rich, but I’m living comfortably.
Many folks who belonged to cliques and fads back in the day probably wouldn’t last a year in my shoes if their job and social life disappeared overnight.
I was adopted into a family where dad is a silent generation father. He's still alive at 93 and has just started chilling out in the past few years, lol. I am from Gen X and he didn't know how to handle me. I was wild and just ran him over as a kid. He was a very "must" kind of dad. Now that he's enjoying being healthy as could be in his 90s, we get along great!
Hats off to that wise man.
To the people acting like it’s surprising that a person from the 60’s was smart or ahead of his time do you not realize people were people who could observe things back then and not a robotic family on some old advertisement?
When this officer went to the police academy, he was taught by senior officers that served before portable two-way radios were available. Those cops HAD to be self reliant in order to survive. No radio - no idea if backup is coming.
That's amazing that this gentleman felt this way even back then. He was absolutely correct. Having too much control of your child will stifle their self esteem, self worth and their independence. That was just such incredible foresight on behalf of this man. 🙂💜
Interesting, i think the perfect parenting is some moderation.
The cop was right…
I guess it's like walking a tightrope.
If you are too strict, kids will rebel.
If you are too lenient, kids will feel that they can do whatever they want, and not have to deal with any consequences.
or, if you're too strict, kids will meet your expectations, but learn to lose their senses of creativity and abandon. if you're too lenient, kids will crave structure and be emotionally neglected, which has very literal and immediate effects on their development.
it has less to do with strictness and more to do with whether you're allowing children and teenagers the tools they need to build skills and succeed.
thanks, genius
@@catwiththegat2091 YOU'RE WELCOME! HAVE A SUPER DAY!
more like being a referee.
stay out of the game until someone makes a foul. explain the foul and make a consequence then "throw the ball back into play ".
Kids need guiderails. They don't need a straight-jacket nor to run amok. They need to know "yes, you can do this, but not that" and have it enforced. They need to room to learn, get hurt, fail, and try again. Kids need a little struggle, not constant help nor oppression. Kids need to learn to be bored and deal with it.
Kids need to learn to do some unpleasant chores and have fun at time. Moderation, people!
They went from being controlled to having to be married and start a family... I can't imagine what it was like
As a Canadian army guy, I highly agree. You can't just rely on everyone else, you can't rely on being told what to do completely. You need agency. You need peers. You need personal strengths and weaknesses.
Well, that's about to change, little does he know. 😂😂😂
“They’re just not learning self-reliance at *tall.”*
Love how the language has evolved.
Indeed
It has a hint of a Transatlantic accent. Maybe he picked it up during the war or from movies and radio. It was the style at the time.
You made it up lol.
He says "at all" not "at tall". He properly annunciated the t on the end of at.
Well brace yourself Mr. Cop because the 60s are about to get colorful, wavy, and crazy
Hats off to the cop! He knows what he’s talking about! As you get older, the closer you are to turning 18, in high school, about to head to college, the more the parents need to let the kid do their own thing. It’s not about letting them do whatever they want, it’s about learning how to take care of oneself, learning responsibility, and getting to learn that not everyone you meet is who they claim to be. You can’t trust everyone you run into.
And then the 60's came along, what a shock
Every time we've heard that a generation has been "ruined", there's always a cultural snap back and everything ends up being fine. People are flexible and always evolving.
Instill a solid foundation in your children. The world is before them whether or not we like it.
Give them something to build off of. The few early years we have with them are the most crucial.
After that, observe and guide. Never control. They will find their way.
P.s. thanks ma.
Explains a lot about my parents. Of course, they then did a 180 with us and did no controlling or parenting whatsoever.
If they aren't allowed to make mistakes,how do you expect them to learn how to solve the problem? If kids aren't given the freedom to make mistakes,get messy,experiment with things,how will they learn self-control or the ability to fix issues or resolve conflict on their own,the answer is they won't,but you expect them to just magically know all that when they turn 18?
I remember that i was scolded several times because on her generation, kids played outside
I gently asked if i can go to the house of a classmate that was near, after that day, she changed, she stopped telling me to be like her generation. Basically, she acepted me as "my generation" child instead on let me be like "her generation"
Same problem we have today with my generation, every kid born after 2008 barely understands self reliance because they’re so reliant on technology
Now what about the ones using the said technology to be self reliant? You can set your own alarms, jot to do lists down, set up basic programs, make crafts based off of an online source, and then sell said crafts through an online source, while making videos about it for the advertising and some side chips.
What do you think happened when automobiles were invented? "Those dang city folk have become too reliant on technology to take care of horses!" OR when the microwave was invented, and people "became too reliant on technology, they can't be bothered to use a real oven to cook real food." Pewdiepie is world famous for just starting off as a kid who played horror games....but he was the first to make face cams popular.
Same grabble, different generation. If we took every invention this seriously as a "detriment" we would still be in log cabbins and have our 3rd oldest brother (the other 2 died from disease cuz modern medicineis for the weak) watch over the fire so we all don't burn to death because the 2nd youngest (youngest died not long after birth) likes to play with fire for some damned reason. Those log cabins wouldn't have indoor plumbing, nor would they have any form of temperature control outside of opening a 1 pane window which didn't really insulate the building much anyway. "You don't need all that technology" Your entertainment was the chickens doing the thang, or doing really dumb stuff, like playing with fire.
The key is moderation with it. It's good to be grass roots and then apply what you know with modern advancements. Tinder means 2 things, depending on who you ask. Both can be great, and both can be bad. One becomes sleezy, one becomes an arsonist.
Brother, if you were born after 2008 you’re at maximum 16. The only ones who think you’re adults are you lmao. You are quite literally legally not self reliant. That’s not a generation thing
I want you to imagine for a moment(if you are 15-16). The way you look at people who are 12 is how the rest of the world looks at you. I guarantee people are not expecting you to be self reliant yet
Sadly my family has not changed that mentality in 60 years
The teens in Webster Groves blew my mind! I was younger than they were, but rode the bus with kids their age. The kids in Oregon were super angry a lot because of all the crap in Vietnam and Nixon’s reindeer games. They weren’t little robots who obeyed their parents’ every demand. I honestly was kind of creeped out by these kids in Webster Groves.
I used to vehemently disagree with people who thought teens didn’t know anything. Now that we see teens behaving like animals, I’m starting to see their point.
True, but we should never resort to taking the opposite extreme regardless. We need more control in society again, but we shouldn't go too far or we just repeat the cycle
I had a conversation with my mother about the thing she taught me growing up and why she was surprised they were things I didn't know or understand and had to teach myself which took me until I was 40 years old.
One of those things was law. I said if I ever had a kid I would teach them the way that the world works and how the law works from a very early age. By age 12 a child should understand law. My mother said that no 12-year-old needs to be taught law.
I pointed out problems that I had had with the law (nothing serious) but I never really knew how to stand up for myself or use the law to my advantage and there were many times that I was taking advantage of because I didn't know how to fight for my rights. Because of this I lost a lot of money due to my ignorance of the law. Other people manipulated me and got me in trouble when I should have known to keep my mouth shut or to stay out of a situation. So much for not teaching me the law.
Even to this day she thinks it's pointless to know these things. That methodology was applied to financial literacy and a whole bunch of other things. To this day I'm still the only family member who knows how to do anything in the real world.
So, helicopter parenting wasnt invented by Gen X? The baby boomers went through it. Interesting.
for thousands of years various personalities existed. depends what choices people had. mentality and attitude
@@respectkindness-oj6xz he is referring to the generation as a collective as am I.
Who thought it was invented by gen x? I heard for years that it was invented by baby boomers. That was always the stereotype I've heard. If anything, most gen xers I know are very critical of helicopter parenting.
Cop: "If you ask me, it's those confounded gyro-plane parents."
@@mynameisreallycool1 the baby boomers would have been the kids he was talking about. Baby Boomer generation ended in '64.
Way ahead of his time.
Interesting. Almost the way people talk about kids right now.
Nah people say the kids now are autismic
Nah kids now have no one to control anything for them and they are completely left to their own devices. Thats why they are so lost.
@Witchmee I mean, that's one way to view things? Another is nobody really has any choice at all, every one of your choices come from a slim category of acceptable behaviors and things you have to do to survive, remain socially accepted, etc
@FUNKY_BUTTLOVIN 🤷♀️ I said
What I said because I am gen z.
@Witchmee yeah my bad I only argued because I assumed u were a boomer. I have wondered, though, or thought that maybe people coming up today are more lost than ever.
One thing that makes me think that is the identity issues so many young people now have. I had a hard life and all kinds of problems, but never even considered my identity, I just had it and that was that.
I do think we are probably at a regrettable time generally, I think pretty soon the climate change that has definitely already started is going to ramp up, there's gonna be shifts in global power and just so much stuff that is going to make life harder, if not just wiping tons of people right out of existence
I guess it makes sense that the children born to a time like that have a hard time finding any anchors
Now teenagers are too uncontrolled