💭Let me know any other weaknesses you can think of! Get "Gifts Differing," best intro book for MBTI: amzn.to/3jhvoXT ✨ Get it free on Audible ✨ 30 day free trial w/ free audiobook at my sponsor, Audible: www.audibletrial.com/FJ Subscribe 👉 infj.me/sub
I set dates, but procrastination has always been the bane of my existence. IxxPs are more so judges than IxxJs, who are more so percievers. Isabel Myers got it wrong.
INFJ weaknesses 1. easily detached from reality 2. too reliant on inspiration 3. stubborn 4. struggle to express themselfs 5. struggle to enjoy the present 6. overly cautious 7. when intuition fails, it's devastating + 1 INFP weakness They do things that they won't ever need, just because it makes them feel good. And that's why I wrote all those points down.
@Agent J I'm not sure if I read it correct, but I think Kaydin was pretty much saying all the hard work it takes to be self disciplined is worth it in the end. 🙂 But thats just my two cents.
For real this is the best community on RUclips. I joined a few weeks ago and have been shamelessly enjoying all the fellow INFJ weirdness. Welcome to the party!
The worst is when my intuition fails about a PERSON. I am devastated if I trusted or thought highly of someone who turns out to be a bad person . It doesn't happen often but when it does it really throws my self-confidence.
Yes!!!! Especially because we tend to expect others to be like ourselves. It’s hard for me to anticipate that someone would have ulterior motives...because what’s the point of that?? But once I’ve determined they are untrustworthy...they no longer exist or become an evil cartoon character in my mind.
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 yes! Like your heart id really crushed to a point it seems irreparable. This is me! I would say also that this is me when I attempt to avoid if my intuition is picking up something negative about a person as to not seem biased and unapproachable. Only to be bit in the butt later. This is equally devastating.
Absolutely! Add my severe PTSD to intuition fails....I sort of just live in an invisible bubble keeping everyone at a distance. Those fails by trusting a person who isn’t trustworthy adds up. I’ve officially had enough of that!
about n°4 : I also noticed that whenever I'm talking to a friend about how I'm feeling I often regret what I just said right after, not because I don't wanna open up but because the words I used weren't quite the right ones and they didn't mean what I wanted to say perfectly. Maybe it's an INFJ thing
Same here! And another thing related to this, is that I can tell a long story leading up to nowhere :( *Not a native English speaker, so correct me if I'm writing something wrong - that's another difficulty :(
INFJ novelist here: Brilliant idea Sits in brain for a year Starts writing at 60% formed book Paused for 4 months to allow ideas to coalesce some more. Writes another 20% in 4 weeks Pauses for 5 months Writes remaining 20% in 2 weeks Finished Pauses for 1.5 months to consider edits Edits book in 4 days over a period of 3 weeks (pausing between edits to let that INFJ brain do it's thang) Result: a book that took about 2 years to write but only needed 3 weeks to edit. (And will probably take another 6 months to perfect with professional editing and beta readers) More importantly, it was enjoyable the whole time. It was never tedious. And I respected how the creative process works for me. Periods of doing nothing combined with sprints of 30k words in days etc. This is my advice for any INFJ writers/creatives out there: if you don't have to be consistent, don't be. Had I tried to write this novel over 6 months consistently, if I had to do storyboards etc, outlines, had I NOT been able to just let it form in my head, it wouldn't have been as good. And more importantly, I wouldn't have finished it because I would have hated the process. It IS possible to enjoy the process/your life and still accomplish goals. Just lean into your strengths. If you're still reading, same goes with me for art. I will paint pieces for months, allowing weeks between them, and then suddenly they will be done, ready to ship off to the (very patient) client. Ultimately it's your life. And if you're being forced (forcing oneself often) into working in a manner that doesn't suit you, you'll burn out or give up. Wish I had known this about myself when I was 25. It took me a long time to figure out to just go with it. To trust that as long as I started something I would finish. It just might not be in the manner or timeframe expected.
It has happened to me both ways. If I have a deadline, I find that I can produce an idea and completely visualize the story in 3 days or so (I’m a cinema student). But if I don’t I also let the projects sit in my head for years sometimes (currently working on 3 different ideas and I only started to write one of them). Although writing it out can help, I find that letting it sit for a while gives it consistency. But it’s also possible to do something very quickly with a deadline!
This was physically liberating to read. I criticize and bully myself when I don’t follow a plan that only I have set for myself. If a project is solely meant as a creative outlet, there’s no need to overthink and pressure to finish. I’ve had to remind myself of this daily. Thank you for commenting this, this 25 year old INFJ is grateful, and congratulations on the book!!!
Same here! Thanks so much for sharing! I've also tried the more "normal" way of writing/working - sticking to a plan so I can rather work consistently and not be forced into a corner (a.k.a. deadline). Yet time and again I end up there again! Now I've finally learnt to just go with it - and if that means working a few full days with little sleep, so be it! 😍 A sucker for self-enforced sleepless nights! Still, the quality of my work is better 99% of the time when done after I sussed it out in my brain for a few days/weeks.
7th weakness of INFJ: when intuition fails, it's devastating. INFJ falls in love:already imagining about happily ever after, settling down with good life. INFJ break-up: falling into deep hell of emotions. Darkness surrounded, no light at the end of the tunnel. Dream crashing into ashes. Dem true. But hey, weakness are there so that we can improve. What doesn't kill u make you stronger 💪
Gosh, literally experiencing this right now. Had dreams, they didn't work out and even though I am getting better, I still find myself mourning over it
Me: I’m not stubborn or a perfectionist Also me: Gets vexed over even the smallest mistakes I make and always wants to do things at my own pace and my own way.
When we were kids, it was called daydreaming. As an adult, it’s criticized. I’ve never figured out who decided we must stop daydreaming immediately at age 18....🤔
"They over plan because they're trying to avoid the work..." Damn. I like the grunt work of things I don't have to think about. Its almost like a meditation; dishes, sailing, working with horses, construction work, cleaning something that's really really dirty. Its like, my body has to focus on clear "set" of doing, which allows my NF to go somewhere else... When it's personally important, significant, and/or meaningful I drop into the over planning. Does this relate to any other INFJ's out there?
"Intuitives like to skip over things" so true. One example: I want to be with my soulmate and have a healthy relationship but categorically refuse to take part on the tedious process of (online) dating. How does that work? Well. It don't.
Same here lol It's horrible to get to know new people, risk rejection, and things not work out in the end, plus all the bureaucracy to deal with dating and stuff. But I want so bad to be married and have kids lol
One of the biggest mistakes of an INFJ is that we need a reason and when we don't get one, depression and anxiety strikes. We get caught in a loop of episodes triggered by even a small issue and all life begins to seem as a disaster. That intuition thing, That's the mistake I always commit in my exams as I just jump without reading the question carefully and submit it without checking. It is indeed devastating when I don't get the expected marks.
This always stops me doing things In a long run like working out or learning a language etc in the middle of it I'm always like "what's the point in that?" and stop, so annoying because some time I will feel like it makes sense again and need to start over again and again (Idk if that makes sense to you lol)
Wow! I felt this! So true! This whole has put a whole question on my creative projects. I'm like, "What would be my reason for committing said project?" Huuuhh so frustrating.
Same here Sometimes I KNOW that the answer to this question is B but my intuition told me: let’s choose A, because I want to know why it is the wrong answer And then instead of choosing B which would be correct I end up being wrong because I followed my intuition
Needing a reason or purpose is experienced by everyone of every type through out their life; consciously or subconsciously and can cycle between the 2.
I have this problem. As an example I can work hours getting a picture in a frame just right and then it has to be on the wall just right spaced exactly right and straight. Things have to be centered right. Now imagine how it is with important things, lol.
@@TheWaterlily2012 Haha Oh yes! I totally understand. I'm working on writing a book and they say you aren't supposed to edit as you go. Just write. No way. That would kill me. It has to be "just so". Lol!
@@kaydincathey Yes, I do the same thing. One day those books I have in me might make it to a final chapter. I am highly critical of myself and my art. I'll go back and mess with things over and over if I see something isn't right. It will bug me until I do.
@@TheWaterlily2012 Yup. Same. Same. And if someone tells me something I wrote is good, I automatically think they are just being nice. Lol! Trust issues!
What you said about everything to come together in our mind before starting a work, over planning if you will, is absolutely true. I always thought that I was just putting things off, but apparently it’s related to my personality. Even tasks such as cleaning my room, I seek inspiration, and I need to plan everything before I begin.
I feel this one SO MUCH. Like hi brain, why do you feel the need to constantly mentally prepare for things so far in advance? I think I've gotten a little better with it, but still I'll wake up at like 9:30 and the whole day I'll be dreading, shit I have to go see my parents at 4:30 this afternoon ; v ;
This reminds me of a quote that goes along the lines of “its better to start poorly and get better as you go, than never start at all because you refuse to start until you have planned perfectly”
I had plans with new friends last year. We were supposed to just meet in the park and hang out. Then it was raining and they were like let's go to this restaurant instead and get food and have drinks. I was like, uh oh, I dunno how to get there, where will I park? Will they have something i like on the menu?! So i just said i had to stay late in work and couldn't make it instead! 😂
FJ: "Intuitives like to skip over things" Me (INFJ): "Covid is already over...in my head." And then every time I step outside my house, I remember and cry a little bit.
It certainly beats the hell out of sitting around, wondering what is "wrong" with me, despite being convinced that everyone else is an idiot who just doesn't "get" me. 🙃🙃🙃🤔🤔🤔
Figuring out I'm an INFJ at 26 yo is certainly thee single biggest revelation I've had so far...At least now I know there are others like me on this planet 👽
I recently took a bunch of tests hoping I would get a different result, despite knowing for years that I am an INFJ, but nope. Still INFJ. So I've decided that personality is just a construct and not intrinsic at a soul level. Accordingly, I won't be being my personality anymore. Except I'm still watching all the videos. 😏
"They struggle to enjoy the present moment." Me: Well I don't know if that really is a weakness of mine... Also me: Why do we even bother to do things when we'll die anyway and the earth will be ruined and nothing will matter?
Lmao our minds constantly avoid the present because of how different we are to everybody so we go in our minds to create scenarios of future events through introverted feeling
I’ve literally been forming a novel in my brain for 5 or 6 years. I used to do this with essays in school - form them in a week, dump-write then in a night. And I did this with my thesis - took about 6 months to form and another 2 to write and format properly. Novels take forever 🙄🙄🙄😜🤣
Actually I wanted to ask if you have allergies going on at the moment. The dark patches under your eyes makes me think you might have hayfever at the moment?
As an INFJ, many of the weaknesses mentioned in the video I actually possessed in the past, but now I'm overcoming some of them and I'm glad this is happening
Spent the whole summer planning an elaborate, intricate, perfectly meaningful sewing project (quilt). Every detail fits into the overall picture, worked through every possible problem, made shortcuts and airtight plans. Organized supplies, drew up a 12-week plan, made the first cut today. Felt like I was taking a swan dive off a cliff. I go through this each time I start a new project. Creativity paired with deep hidden meaning. INFJ heaven.
Watching this while Im planning how to START creating a page of worksheet for my students, that is way easier to do IN MY HEAD 😭 than actually doing it
"Struggle to express themselves" that is a huge one in my life, whenever I try to explain anything, it seems like everyone looks at me with "Whhhaaat?"face! in my mind it's the most clear and logical thing but apparently it's not. By now, I just accept this and I love it to be honest. Yes it might make you feel isolated but I'm at this point where this doesn't matter anymore. It's the uniqueness of everyone's communication style.
As an INFJ, I have this great struggle I avoid fights with people because it makes me sick emotionally and sometimes physically. When it happens, its like a tornado just struck in the relationship. Even without the relationship, I still couldn't take it... I tend to be just agreeable all the time and because of this, people see me as an idiot/coward. Its sickening how Im just unable to tell the truth to someone or even take the action that would lead to conflict buy is the right one. Some opportunities are passing me by because I just couldn't express myself freely.
I feel the exact same way smh it's sad indeed but we just have to continue living and striving to understand ourselves more and more each day so that we can be more inconfident in our own skin to deal with anything that comes our way!
Honestly, becoming a parent has made me confront these problems more. When there is a problem I need to solve for my family I recalibrate my plans but for myself it's almost impossible...I wrestle with myself to get over that hump. Having abusive parenting growing up where I was made to feel like I should put myself last does not help. A lot to work through so thanks for putting it all in perspective.
INFP here and had a pretty nasty argument with my INFJ sister this morning. This really helped me to understand why she's acting in a very unrealistic way. She is not dealing with Covid very well, and has kind of spiraled. This helps me to better understand why she is feeling how she is. I appreciate it! Thanks for your wisdom and insight!
So I'm thinking that introverted intuition is maybe connected to authenticity and this is why it's hard to accept advice. I find it hard to accept advice on personal stuff. Who would know my authentic me better than me? 😁 I relate to a lot in this video. Thanks FJ!
"INFJ's do NOT like surprises," so true! FJ hit it out of the park, yet again! #INFJinnerturmoil PS: "word of the week," is very informative & helpful.
I’m an INFJ and I have a very good example regarding my weaknesses: I was talking to a really nice guy and he was kinda in love w me already but my intuition told me that maybe this won’t work out, he will never like me irl and a lot more overthinking (jumping to the unrealistic future). He was genuine and really an amazing person being, but I friend zoned him and blocked him bc I was scared, I’ve kinda regretted this later...
Used to do that too as an ENFP. Then, i learned to control that urge to give my intuition away too early and get The facts and verify BEFORE. I have learned to tell when I have a small intuition and when I have a strong intuition and see the puzzle pieces show it is true ( still usually before everyone realizes), then I share and enjoy having the facts or info to back it up now!
Ni-doms are governed by a 2nd order differential equation whose general solution is a combination of blessing and curse. at the periods of their oscillation, they satisfy this quote by Hesse: "I wanted only to live in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?"
1. Easily detached from reality 2. Too reliant on inspiration 3. Stubborn 4. Struggle to adequately express themselves 5. Struggle to enjoy the present moment 6. Overly cautious 7. When intuition is wrong, it's devastating
As an INTJ, I don't usually watch your INFJ-specific videos, but your claim that we share weaknesses hooked me , and, indeed, I recognized myself in this.
This video has just confirmed that I'm INFJ instead of INTP, INFP and ENTP. Maybe I'm more of a thinker INFJ but my main and so 100% powerful function is Ni. Glad to know. Another thing: Playing at being a Psychologist or Therapist to every friend who needs the validation or analysis of their situation, giving tons of great advice... While sucking at giving advice to ourselves.
My intuition is like voice of my soul. I can sense it whether something is right or wrong. I depend on my intuition for taking decisions sometimes even big. And I've never failed - touch wood
This is why I hate when people contradict themselves! I swear some people say something and do the exact opposite meanwhile I'm sitting there like " wtf no one else sees the contradictions"?
#6: you can totally overcome this, learn to force yourself not to care. I was horrible at this, as million of things pile up, I have become rather good at avoiding to be overly cautious.
"4. Struggle to express themselves." Thanks for describing this. No wonder I always feel that I can understand others easily but people having hard time to understand me well. 😅
The communication thing is spot on! I’m an infj and realized after a video or two that I speak in nearly the same way; not really the best for job interviews🙈
It's a contradiction and a challenge the fact that we have difficulty of expressing ourselves and at the same time we need to do that to be understood, since we have very peculiar opinions.
THANK YOU for bringing up how arrogant we can be about our intuition and how that causes the BIGGEST problems for us..also props for the Nostradamus joke.
Thanks Frank ! I was literally so messed up in my head right now ... I'm going through a lot of problems both in family and at work(studies) , u just helped me understand myself , nearly why I'm so messed up rn
The hardest and most rewarding thing I have learned to do as an infj is to truly listen to people when they are talking. If I trick my brain into paying attention by remembering that people are happier the more I can recall about what they said specifically (not just the broad strokes). This has allowed me to make deep and more impactful communication with people in my life. Something I desperately needed but was missing out on all for the sake of avoiding a little bit of extra effort.
True. All of them. Number 2 is a pleasure. Waiting for inspiration and enjoy it in a sudden is one of the most exhilaration things in my life. Yes, intuition is not always right but there is always "something". All we need is avoiding wrong assumptions and try to analyse facts. Rationally. Living in the moment is another challenge. We may try to do it. Cautiously.
Okay-- "over planning" is not planning where ur gonna park, that is just regular good and logical planning-- it makes sense so you save yourself stress and time when driving then at the moment!
It warms my very soul when someone understands me so well who doesn’t even know me. My family and closest friends don’t understand these things and I wish they did because when I try explaining, they think I’m just bad at explaining my thoughts or making up excuses or being lazy, etc. I need someone in jg life who understands so crystal clear
I think the intuition is highly on point. I find it hard to approach some people just because I have this gut feeling that they're not good people. MEANWHILE, the people I thought to be good stabbed me multiple times in the back :D
OMG. 1. Totally me. Get lost in my own thoughts for sometimes hours. 2. I hate tedious work. I love to write and have half a few novels I am working on in my head at the moment and haven't written a single thing down. 3. Super stubborn. ✔ Always relying on my intuition. I have often felt like my intuition and ability to read people feels like a super power. 4. ✔ 5. Always thinking about the future. 6. Love planning. Always have dozens of plans going on. 7. Yeah. It's really bothers me when my intuition misses something. I hate when people disappoint me, especially if it's someone I am close to.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING that the intuition can be wrong too! Many mbti forums tend to see INFJs like the magical knower of truth but they can still be wrong sometimes.
Oh gosh, that last one is deep. I see this majorly in my life. I think something I’ve had to work through after one of my failed intuition moment is realizing MY intuition isn’t Gods voice telling me to do something like I always assumed. Hard separating that.
FJ, this vid was such a treat. Do you think you'd make your own MBTI test one day? It'd be fun to take the frisky ponies MBTI test, maybe as a real one or a parody.
I couldn’t agree more on everything being said in this video! Indeed as an INFJ, how much I struggle with enjoy living in the presence. I often find reality to be extremely painful and unbearable, and badly wish to dwell in the memories of my past or picturing all the possibilities the future might bring. I constantly tell myself to at least try to accept whatever the present life brings, not dreaming too much about the future. But honestly speaking, it’s almost impossible to do so especially when everyday life gets overly stimulated and chaotic, I just yearn for my peaceful dreamy inner world; hiding in there safely and never come out if I have a choice... But unfortunately, I still have to deal with the real life, no matter how difficult and overwhelming it already is...
I'm not sure if there's anyone who's into Webtoon (ooor anime) Tower of God, but when FJ said something about world not stopping for us to make a decision, the first thing that came to my mind was Khun during the Door Test in season 1, and Hansung saying the exact same words as FJ. Edit: Also I just wanted to add that all the points were painfully correct about me (INFJ)
Omg you're right! Thanks for pointing it out, I love this connection 😄 I really liked that test from season 1 and Khun is my favourite character in TOG 😊
Great video... I'm desperately struggling with the ghastly #7 right now. I never thought so many people would go all in for this "new normal" dystopian tyrannical society, yet here we are. How did I miss that as a possible outcome? I'm devastated by this and don't know how to move forward. At all. :(
"Intuition it doesn't mean it's right. It just means that's it's really a guess." Actualy this time i'm embarassed by my guessing about something that proven wrong. In the past, my 'intuition' bring me some huge problem too, although it's rare because most of the time it's right. But i need to control myself to wild guessing things.
INFJ novelist here- Can confirm! 😅 Published my novel, Leaving Deally, in 2014 & have been “working on the sequel” for 6 years 😭 I have a list of ideas I write down as they occur; maybe once my list is finished I’ll have that inspiration again. 🤪
I feel like I'm always right on procedural or the order of things or how to do stuff when I skip ahead, even people's reactions down to what they even say. what I sometimes Miss and I'm mystified by once it happens and saddened every time.... Is other people's involvement and there sneakiness or them being conniving. I always forget to look into future on how people cannot always have everyone's best interest involved. If that makes since.
No. #7 is spot-on. One questions one's grip on reality itself after a significant failure of intuition. Specifically, after being led astray by a person who seemed authoritative.
Oh em GEE are INFJs ever stubborn (love u). I like working with INFJs and INTJs, though. I think our strengths and weaknesses balance each other out well. - INFP
💭Let me know any other weaknesses you can think of!
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Hey! Will you make a sequel of your new reporting video? I really loved it...
I am not 3 minutes into this and I'm sitting here like "......yup. This is me. I am this" 😂
I'm just sad you didn't say "Wacknesses" at least once.
Why uploading at this time, too late from usual time😁
Frank you have a really important message on Instagram.. could you please read it ? It could be also a good idea for a video... who knows
Infj- wanna be famous, don't wanna be a celebrity
omg yesssss
infp - wanna be invited, don't want to go
Relatable lol
😳
Wanna write a book- anonymously
"They overplan because they're trying to avoid THE WORK."
i died lol
If this aint me
that is the most accurate thing said about me tf
I HAVE SO MANY NOTES PLANNING AND IM NOT DOING MOST 😭😭😭
I set dates, but procrastination has always been the bane of my existence. IxxPs are more so judges than IxxJs, who are more so percievers. Isabel Myers got it wrong.
no wayyyy....I didn't even know I was doing this....how did I not know....
INFJ weaknesses
1. easily detached from reality
2. too reliant on inspiration
3. stubborn
4. struggle to express themselfs
5. struggle to enjoy the present
6. overly cautious
7. when intuition fails, it's devastating
+ 1 INFP weakness
They do things that they won't ever need, just because it makes them feel good. And that's why I wrote all those points down.
Thank youuu ✨
I appreciate this
Lol🤣🤣🤣🤣
The last one isn't a weakness, it's kindness to many others out there who wants the bullet points. And never take kindness for weakness.
Thanks I should be studying lol
FJ: talks about intuition failing and it's devastation
Me: flashbacks to every decision gone wrong in my life
Exactly!!
Sad but true. It’s not easy to trust the intuition at first. You stumble, you learn.
Same!💯
Flashbacks to every decision gone wrong. *while he’s talking about staying grounded in reality* 😂
😂 I live that moment now
"Life doesn't stop because you want to focus on something." Oof! So true.
And stupid
@Agent J True. It's hard to learn but once you have it, the fight to gain it pales in comparison.
@Agent J I'm so confused. I was agreeing with you. Where did cheating and insanity come in?
@Agent J I'm not sure if I read it correct, but I think Kaydin was pretty much saying all the hard work it takes to be self disciplined is worth it in the end. 🙂 But thats just my two cents.
@@ArcaneGinger Yup! Exactly. thank you!
Frank James : " INFJs struggle to enjoy the present moment"
Me INFJ: *Zones out*
What was that?
Hahahaha true
The now is boring, planning the future is more interesting
Focus folks, remind yourself to focus all the time! 🤓
never related so much to comment lollll
Monique Huchet yes yes yes!
"I was born to understand, not be understood." me
Love this
Mixed race couple? Cringe
@@Sismo_V ??
Beautiful
@@Sismo_V Giraffe are quite successful at defending themselves against lions :)
INFJ - i found this channel a few days ago.. my whole life getting explained, FINALLY. very sobering.
Welcome!!!
Chaos explained... Dance with it until you find the order beneath. And Rule!
Welcome!! It's a good group :) (even if I'm not infj)
For real this is the best community on RUclips. I joined a few weeks ago and have been shamelessly enjoying all the fellow INFJ weirdness. Welcome to the party!
I'd call you all friends, but you know............ ;)
@@PropunKla thats how I feel too! Especially since I have been more homebound lol "gotta go chat with my fri...errr the strangers on the internet!"😅😅
The worst is when my intuition fails about a PERSON. I am devastated if I trusted or thought highly of someone who turns out to be a bad person . It doesn't happen often but when it does it really throws my self-confidence.
Yes!!!! Especially because we tend to expect others to be like ourselves. It’s hard for me to anticipate that someone would have ulterior motives...because what’s the point of that??
But once I’ve determined they are untrustworthy...they no longer exist or become an evil cartoon character in my mind.
Just yes
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 yes! Like your heart id really crushed to a point it seems irreparable. This is me! I would say also that this is me when I attempt to avoid if my intuition is picking up something negative about a person as to not seem biased and unapproachable. Only to be bit in the butt later. This is equally devastating.
Yeah, it kinda "stuns" the psyche :/
Absolutely! Add my severe PTSD to intuition fails....I sort of just live in an invisible bubble keeping everyone at a distance. Those fails by trusting a person who isn’t trustworthy adds up. I’ve officially had enough of that!
about n°4 : I also noticed that whenever I'm talking to a friend about how I'm feeling I often regret what I just said right after, not because I don't wanna open up but because the words I used weren't quite the right ones and they didn't mean what I wanted to say perfectly. Maybe it's an INFJ thing
I can relate..I'm an infj too😔
Exactly 😭
Yeah same 😔
Same here! And another thing related to this, is that I can tell a long story leading up to nowhere :(
*Not a native English speaker, so correct me if I'm writing something wrong - that's another difficulty :(
That's why writing (and rewriting) is so much better!
INFJ novelist here:
Brilliant idea
Sits in brain for a year
Starts writing at 60% formed book
Paused for 4 months to allow ideas to coalesce some more.
Writes another 20% in 4 weeks
Pauses for 5 months
Writes remaining 20% in 2 weeks
Finished
Pauses for 1.5 months to consider edits
Edits book in 4 days over a period of 3 weeks (pausing between edits to let that INFJ brain do it's thang)
Result: a book that took about 2 years to write but only needed 3 weeks to edit. (And will probably take another 6 months to perfect with professional editing and beta readers)
More importantly, it was enjoyable the whole time. It was never tedious. And I respected how the creative process works for me. Periods of doing nothing combined with sprints of 30k words in days etc.
This is my advice for any INFJ writers/creatives out there: if you don't have to be consistent, don't be. Had I tried to write this novel over 6 months consistently, if I had to do storyboards etc, outlines, had I NOT been able to just let it form in my head, it wouldn't have been as good.
And more importantly, I wouldn't have finished it because I would have hated the process.
It IS possible to enjoy the process/your life and still accomplish goals. Just lean into your strengths.
If you're still reading, same goes with me for art. I will paint pieces for months, allowing weeks between them, and then suddenly they will be done, ready to ship off to the (very patient) client.
Ultimately it's your life. And if you're being forced (forcing oneself often) into working in a manner that doesn't suit you, you'll burn out or give up.
Wish I had known this about myself when I was 25. It took me a long time to figure out to just go with it. To trust that as long as I started something I would finish. It just might not be in the manner or timeframe expected.
that's awesome
It has happened to me both ways. If I have a deadline, I find that I can produce an idea and completely visualize the story in 3 days or so (I’m a cinema student). But if I don’t I also let the projects sit in my head for years sometimes (currently working on 3 different ideas and I only started to write one of them). Although writing it out can help, I find that letting it sit for a while gives it consistency. But it’s also possible to do something very quickly with a deadline!
Reminds me of my 4 very different web media projects, I work intensely 1 day on one of them, leave it for 3 weeks, move to another one....and so on!
This was physically liberating to read. I criticize and bully myself when I don’t follow a plan that only I have set for myself. If a project is solely meant as a creative outlet, there’s no need to overthink and pressure to finish. I’ve had to remind myself of this daily. Thank you for commenting this, this 25 year old INFJ is grateful, and congratulations on the book!!!
Same here! Thanks so much for sharing!
I've also tried the more "normal" way of writing/working - sticking to a plan so I can rather work consistently and not be forced into a corner (a.k.a. deadline). Yet time and again I end up there again!
Now I've finally learnt to just go with it - and if that means working a few full days with little sleep, so be it! 😍
A sucker for self-enforced sleepless nights! Still, the quality of my work is better 99% of the time when done after I sussed it out in my brain for a few days/weeks.
7th weakness of INFJ: when intuition fails, it's devastating.
INFJ falls in love:already imagining about happily ever after, settling down with good life.
INFJ break-up: falling into deep hell of emotions. Darkness surrounded, no light at the end of the tunnel. Dream crashing into ashes.
Dem true. But hey, weakness are there so that we can improve. What doesn't kill u make you stronger 💪
Now there’s the INFJ optimism I appreciate. Failure is fine...in fact....it’s really a form success. No one else around me really gets that!
Gosh, literally experiencing this right now.
Had dreams, they didn't work out and even though I am getting better, I still find myself mourning over it
@@jenwipf729 yeah!😂
I propose you make a video about INFJ and their relationships with other types!
Preach
But have a relationship with every other type first for science purposes please.
Me: I’m not stubborn or a perfectionist
Also me: Gets vexed over even the smallest mistakes I make and always wants to do things at my own pace and my own way.
right. luckily recovery is on its way quickly. otherwise what would have happened.
Me, always.
Sooo true!!
Doing things at your own pace and in your own way is the most INFJ est trait.
Yes
Detaching from reality anytime is a superpower I have
Yeah FJ said it like it’s a bad thing.🤷🏼♀️
Dude it's a curse 😫 I keep rewinding videos
Ha ha yes! Someone or some situation is difficult (boring, tedious, traumatic, etc.) - I'll just be off here doing my own thing 😎
When we were kids, it was called daydreaming. As an adult, it’s criticized. I’ve never figured out who decided we must stop daydreaming immediately at age 18....🤔
@@MissyRichmond people will think I have add attention deficit disorder
"They over plan because they're trying to avoid the work..." Damn.
I like the grunt work of things I don't have to think about. Its almost like a meditation; dishes, sailing, working with horses, construction work, cleaning something that's really really dirty. Its like, my body has to focus on clear "set" of doing, which allows my NF to go somewhere else...
When it's personally important, significant, and/or meaningful I drop into the over planning.
Does this relate to any other INFJ's out there?
I spend so much time making out lists because my mind likes to plan but carrying out the plan is not as fun as the planning.
Same
"Intuitives like to skip over things" so true. One example: I want to be with my soulmate and have a healthy relationship but categorically refuse to take part on the tedious process of (online) dating. How does that work? Well. It don't.
Same here lol
It's horrible to get to know new people, risk rejection, and things not work out in the end, plus all the bureaucracy to deal with dating and stuff. But I want so bad to be married and have kids lol
Ack- I see myself in this comment and I don't like it
This is very true
Same!
Literally in that boat right now🙈
One of the biggest mistakes of an INFJ is that we need a reason and when we don't get one, depression and anxiety strikes. We get caught in a loop of episodes triggered by even a small issue and all life begins to seem as a disaster.
That intuition thing,
That's the mistake I always commit in my exams as I just jump without reading the question carefully and submit it without checking. It is indeed devastating when I don't get the expected marks.
This always stops me doing things In a long run like working out or learning a language etc in the middle of it I'm always like "what's the point in that?" and stop, so annoying because some time I will feel like it makes sense again and need to start over again and again (Idk if that makes sense to you lol)
@@LoveConan96 Of course it does my friend because I have experienced it.
Wow! I felt this! So true! This whole has put a whole question on my creative projects. I'm like, "What would be my reason for committing said project?" Huuuhh so frustrating.
Same here
Sometimes I KNOW that the answer to this question is B but my intuition told me: let’s choose A, because I want to know why it is the wrong answer
And then instead of choosing B which would be correct I end up being wrong because I followed my intuition
Needing a reason or purpose is experienced by everyone of every type through out their life; consciously or subconsciously and can cycle between the 2.
Mine is being a perfectionist!
I have this problem. As an example I can work hours getting a picture in a frame just right and then it has to be on the wall just right spaced exactly right and straight. Things have to be centered right. Now imagine how it is with important things, lol.
@@TheWaterlily2012 Haha Oh yes! I totally understand. I'm working on writing a book and they say you aren't supposed to edit as you go. Just write. No way. That would kill me. It has to be "just so". Lol!
@@kaydincathey Yes, I do the same thing. One day those books I have in me might make it to a final chapter. I am highly critical of myself and my art. I'll go back and mess with things over and over if I see something isn't right. It will bug me until I do.
@@TheWaterlily2012 Yup. Same. Same. And if someone tells me something I wrote is good, I automatically think they are just being nice. Lol! Trust issues!
@@kaydincathey Oh yes, definitely trust issues here too, lol. A result of my experiences. Over and over and over...
Weakness, or whackness, that’s the question.
haha!... we may be waked, but we are sure not weak!
Woke...ness
"Weaknesses come from the strength" - You couldn't have said it any better.
What you said about everything to come together in our mind before starting a work, over planning if you will, is absolutely true.
I always thought that I was just putting things off, but apparently it’s related to my personality.
Even tasks such as cleaning my room, I seek inspiration, and I need to plan everything before I begin.
I feel this one SO MUCH. Like hi brain, why do you feel the need to constantly mentally prepare for things so far in advance? I think I've gotten a little better with it, but still I'll wake up at like 9:30 and the whole day I'll be dreading, shit I have to go see my parents at 4:30 this afternoon ; v ;
This reminds me of a quote that goes along the lines of “its better to start poorly and get better as you go, than never start at all because you refuse to start until you have planned perfectly”
Yes, every single time
Like u don't wanna waste time cleaning ur room unless u have a podcast on
I laughed hard when you said read the menu and reviews before going to the restaurant! Overplanners lol!
So true!! 😂🤣
I had plans with new friends last year. We were supposed to just meet in the park and hang out. Then it was raining and they were like let's go to this restaurant instead and get food and have drinks. I was like, uh oh, I dunno how to get there, where will I park? Will they have something i like on the menu?! So i just said i had to stay late in work and couldn't make it instead! 😂
Yes I do that cuz I don’t like gross food
you’re giving me big bro vibes here
This is the sweetest comment I've seen on RUclips all year ❤
Patterns, connections!
Everywhere, all the time, from everyone, from every thing...
Which keeps our brains snapping 24/7.😬🤗
FJ: "Intuitives like to skip over things"
Me (INFJ): "Covid is already over...in my head."
And then every time I step outside my house, I remember and cry a little bit.
This is me around January when covid is still in China.
Yes because I don’t want to leave the house
"Life doesn't stop because you wanted to focus on something" It HITS!
discovering i'm an infj and everything about it has to be one of the most comforting process/moment of my life
It certainly beats the hell out of sitting around, wondering what is "wrong" with me, despite being convinced that everyone else is an idiot who just doesn't "get" me. 🙃🙃🙃🤔🤔🤔
Figuring out I'm an INFJ at 26 yo is certainly thee single biggest revelation I've had so far...At least now I know there are others like me on this planet 👽
To confirm whether I really am an INFJ, I took tests five times on different sites and got the same result 😂
Me too. I took it so many times. But I am INFJ through and through. I just wish there was more of us so that I had people to relate to in real life.
I lost count honestly, but the reason I found this channel was also to confirm if I really am an INFJ 😂
@@meenuspeaks9476 gosh. I hear you. We're an interesting sub species.
yup....cant escape that!
I recently took a bunch of tests hoping I would get a different result, despite knowing for years that I am an INFJ, but nope. Still INFJ.
So I've decided that personality is just a construct and not intrinsic at a soul level. Accordingly, I won't be being my personality anymore. Except I'm still watching all the videos. 😏
"They struggle to enjoy the present moment."
Me: Well I don't know if that really is a weakness of mine...
Also me: Why do we even bother to do things when we'll die anyway and the earth will be ruined and nothing will matter?
Lol 😆
Lmao our minds constantly avoid the present because of how different we are to everybody so we go in our minds to create scenarios of future events through introverted feeling
😂👌
"They don't want to betray their own inner guidance." I can relate to this.
I’ve literally been forming a novel in my brain for 5 or 6 years. I used to do this with essays in school - form them in a week, dump-write then in a night. And I did this with my thesis - took about 6 months to form and another 2 to write and format properly. Novels take forever 🙄🙄🙄😜🤣
Essays were easier in high school
. College nope
i saw this in my recommended 14 seconds after upload
I was at 19!
fastest click in the west
@@FrankJames Hey! Have you thought of doing 16 personalities getting compliments?
@Sarah Ali Thanks!
@@FrankJames I see you're a man of many memes
So glad you're still doing these low-key vlogs.....and your massive increase in subs hasn't gone to your head😉.
You look fresh sir
frankie fresh
He's so freaking handsome!!!
Actually I wanted to ask if you have allergies going on at the moment. The dark patches under your eyes makes me think you might have hayfever at the moment?
As an INFJ “novelist” (still letting it percolate in my brain)......your example was 100000000% accurate.
This called me out on so many different levels
SAME. i was attacked haha
Same🙈
Me too 😧
I’m stubborn cuz I want to do whatever I want
As an INFJ, many of the weaknesses mentioned in the video I actually possessed in the past, but now I'm overcoming some of them and I'm glad this is happening
Spent the whole summer planning an elaborate, intricate, perfectly meaningful sewing project (quilt). Every detail fits into the overall picture, worked through every possible problem, made shortcuts and airtight plans. Organized supplies, drew up a 12-week plan, made the first cut today. Felt like I was taking a swan dive off a cliff. I go through this each time I start a new project. Creativity paired with deep hidden meaning. INFJ heaven.
Comments 'saved'.
Watching this while Im planning how to START creating a page of worksheet for my students, that is way easier to do IN MY HEAD 😭 than actually doing it
"Struggle to express themselves" that is a huge one in my life, whenever I try to explain anything, it seems like everyone looks at me with "Whhhaaat?"face! in my mind it's the most clear and logical thing but apparently it's not. By now, I just accept this and I love it to be honest. Yes it might make you feel isolated but I'm at this point where this doesn't matter anymore. It's the uniqueness of everyone's communication style.
As an INFJ, I have this great struggle
I avoid fights with people because it makes me sick emotionally and sometimes physically. When it happens, its like a tornado just struck in the relationship. Even without the relationship, I still couldn't take it... I tend to be just agreeable all the time and because of this, people see me as an idiot/coward. Its sickening how Im just unable to tell the truth to someone or even take the action that would lead to conflict buy is the right one. Some opportunities are passing me by because I just couldn't express myself freely.
I feel the exact same way smh it's sad indeed but we just have to continue living and striving to understand ourselves more and more each day so that we can be more inconfident in our own skin to deal with anything that comes our way!
I tell them the truth and if I can’t I walk away or stop talking
FJ I love your channel. I am an INFJ and this place feels like home. I feel understood! Keep it up ❤️❤️❤️
Honestly, becoming a parent has made me confront these problems more. When there is a problem I need to solve for my family I recalibrate my plans but for myself it's almost impossible...I wrestle with myself to get over that hump. Having abusive parenting growing up where I was made to feel like I should put myself last does not help. A lot to work through so thanks for putting it all in perspective.
The “stay cool and attractive” is like by far my favorite catch frase in the world right now
INFP here and had a pretty nasty argument with my INFJ sister this morning. This really helped me to understand why she's acting in a very unrealistic way. She is not dealing with Covid very well, and has kind of spiraled. This helps me to better understand why she is feeling how she is. I appreciate it! Thanks for your wisdom and insight!
So I'm thinking that introverted intuition is maybe connected to authenticity and this is why it's hard to accept advice. I find it hard to accept advice on personal stuff. Who would know my authentic me better than me? 😁 I relate to a lot in this video. Thanks FJ!
The notification just came in and said "do you have to do something else, like homework? Guess what? You're wrong."
Well, then...
I think I just evolved a greater understanding of myself in the last 13 minutes, than I have in the last 13 years of my life. Thanks FJ ❤️
Ngl, I just found out my personality type through Frank's INFJ vids lmao and I finally makes a lil sense to me now
The restaurant menu and reviews thing is me😂
Love these type of videos!
thanks! hope you enjoy this one!
"INFJ's do NOT like surprises," so true!
FJ hit it out of the park, yet again!
#INFJinnerturmoil
PS: "word of the week," is very informative & helpful.
thanks, Martin! glad you enjoy it
@@FrankJames You are a plethora of valuable typology info!
I’m an INFJ and I have a very good example regarding my weaknesses: I was talking to a really nice guy and he was kinda in love w me already but my intuition told me that maybe this won’t work out, he will never like me irl and a lot more overthinking (jumping to the unrealistic future). He was genuine and really an amazing person being, but I friend zoned him and blocked him bc I was scared, I’ve kinda regretted this later...
As ENFP, when intuition fails it’s mainly devastating because I’m always yelling my ideas and now everyone knows I was wrong
Used to do that too as an ENFP. Then, i learned to control that urge to give my intuition away too early and get
The facts and verify BEFORE.
I have learned to tell when I have a small intuition and when I have a strong intuition and see the puzzle pieces show it is true ( still usually
before everyone realizes), then I share and enjoy having the facts or info to back it up now!
„Mabye we stop if you tube wants to do a commercial“
commercial: hello there
Gasp and woah I'm so early, because this wasn't posted so early!
I'm not INFJ, but I must learn about you loveable oddball humans.
That means it's a huge chance that you're an infp or intp.
@@fairyfellermasterstroke Enfp :) or just a fellow oddball lol I'll let you decide. 😁
@@ArcaneGinger Well, I didn't guess because I don't have Ni in my stack. I'm an infp.
I like the energy in this convo
@@fairyfellermasterstroke infp makes the best of friends though, so it's all good!
Ni-doms are governed by a 2nd order differential equation whose general solution is a combination of blessing and curse. at the periods of their oscillation, they satisfy this quote by Hesse:
"I wanted only to live in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?"
1. Easily detached from reality
2. Too reliant on inspiration
3. Stubborn
4. Struggle to adequately express themselves
5. Struggle to enjoy the present moment
6. Overly cautious
7. When intuition is wrong, it's devastating
As an INTJ, I don't usually watch your INFJ-specific videos, but your claim that we share weaknesses hooked me , and, indeed, I recognized myself in this.
This video has just confirmed that I'm INFJ instead of INTP, INFP and ENTP. Maybe I'm more of a thinker INFJ but my main and so 100% powerful function is Ni. Glad to know.
Another thing: Playing at being a Psychologist or Therapist to every friend who needs the validation or analysis of their situation, giving tons of great advice... While sucking at giving advice to ourselves.
"Pick it up Pack it in!"
let me begin
i came to win, battle me that's a sin😆
My intuition is like voice of my soul. I can sense it whether something is right or wrong. I depend on my intuition for taking decisions sometimes even big. And I've never failed - touch wood
I don’t always want to be right... But I am. 🤷🏼♀️
This is why I hate when people contradict themselves! I swear some people say something and do the exact opposite meanwhile I'm sitting there like " wtf no one else sees the contradictions"?
#6: you can totally overcome this, learn to force yourself not to care. I was horrible at this, as million of things pile up, I have become rather good at avoiding to be overly cautious.
Not Caring can be a weakness too when you’re supposed to care
"4. Struggle to express themselves."
Thanks for describing this.
No wonder I always feel that I can understand others easily but people having hard time to understand me well.
😅
"The weakness come from the strength" that had me a bit confused until I heard more
The communication thing is spot on! I’m an infj and realized after a video or two that I speak in nearly the same way; not really the best for job interviews🙈
It's a contradiction and a challenge the fact that we have difficulty of expressing ourselves and at the same time we need to do that to be understood, since we have very peculiar opinions.
Pack it up. Pack it in.
Let me begin.
THIS VIDEO IS AMAZING!!!!
Please NO !!! Intuition not always right? It has been my GPS for the past 83 years.
Mine for 20 😂
THANK YOU for bringing up how arrogant we can be about our intuition and how that causes the BIGGEST problems for us..also props for the Nostradamus joke.
Thanks Frank ! I was literally so messed up in my head right now ... I'm going through a lot of problems both in family and at work(studies) , u just helped me understand myself , nearly why I'm so messed up rn
You got this!
@@FrankJames thanks FJ ! I even found my personality through your videos and now I'm getting to know myself better through your videos itself !
The hardest and most rewarding thing I have learned to do as an infj is to truly listen to people when they are talking. If I trick my brain into paying attention by remembering that people are happier the more I can recall about what they said specifically (not just the broad strokes). This has allowed me to make deep and more impactful communication with people in my life. Something I desperately needed but was missing out on all for the sake of avoiding a little bit of extra effort.
Frank looks so cute 😢
calm your ovaries
Trakman you are just jealous 😅
Vera Elina he is 😂
@@veraelina3009 Vera stop projecting. Georgie she doesn't need your validation. Boom. BOOM. 😜
I'm a dude and yes to that
True. All of them. Number 2 is a pleasure. Waiting for inspiration and enjoy it in a sudden is one of the most exhilaration things in my life. Yes, intuition is not always right but there is always "something". All we need is avoiding wrong assumptions and try to analyse facts. Rationally. Living in the moment is another challenge. We may try to do it. Cautiously.
Okay-- "over planning" is not planning where ur gonna park, that is just regular good and logical planning-- it makes sense so you save yourself stress and time when driving then at the moment!
It warms my very soul when someone understands me so well who doesn’t even know me. My family and closest friends don’t understand these things and I wish they did because when I try explaining, they think I’m just bad at explaining my thoughts or making up excuses or being lazy, etc. I need someone in jg life who understands so crystal clear
I think the intuition is highly on point. I find it hard to approach some people just because I have this gut feeling that they're not good people. MEANWHILE, the people I thought to be good stabbed me multiple times in the back :D
I don’t trust people
OMG.
1. Totally me. Get lost in my own thoughts for sometimes hours.
2. I hate tedious work. I love to write and have half a few novels I am working on in my head at the moment and haven't written a single thing down.
3. Super stubborn. ✔ Always relying on my intuition. I have often felt like my intuition and ability to read people feels like a super power.
4. ✔
5. Always thinking about the future.
6. Love planning. Always have dozens of plans going on.
7. Yeah. It's really bothers me when my intuition misses something. I hate when people disappoint me, especially if it's someone I am close to.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING that the intuition can be wrong too! Many mbti forums tend to see INFJs like the magical knower of truth but they can still be wrong sometimes.
Honestly, I came here for a good time, and I just feel so attacked right now........
I identified with every single one of these, dang it.
Agent J WHAT are you on about man??
Agent J ok, we are on different planets. Thanks for your thoughts.
Oh gosh, that last one is deep. I see this majorly in my life. I think something I’ve had to work through after one of my failed intuition moment is realizing MY intuition isn’t Gods voice telling me to do something like I always assumed. Hard separating that.
FJ, this vid was such a treat. Do you think you'd make your own MBTI test one day? It'd be fun to take the frisky ponies MBTI test, maybe as a real one or a parody.
OMG! INFJ Novelist here, or maybe one day. I've been running the same book idea in my head for 10 years. wow. I really needed this. Thank you, FJ!
Now to figure out how to plan for my intuition failing me, that's a lot of scenarios..this might take a while..
I couldn’t agree more on everything being said in this video!
Indeed as an INFJ, how much I struggle with enjoy living in the presence. I often find reality to be extremely painful and unbearable, and badly wish to dwell in the memories of my past or picturing all the possibilities the future might bring.
I constantly tell myself to at least try to accept whatever the present life brings, not dreaming too much about the future. But honestly speaking, it’s almost impossible to do so especially when everyday life gets overly stimulated and chaotic, I just yearn for my peaceful dreamy inner world; hiding in there safely and never come out if I have a choice... But unfortunately, I still have to deal with the real life, no matter how difficult and overwhelming it already is...
I'm not sure if there's anyone who's into Webtoon (ooor anime) Tower of God, but when FJ said something about world not stopping for us to make a decision, the first thing that came to my mind was Khun during the Door Test in season 1, and Hansung saying the exact same words as FJ.
Edit: Also I just wanted to add that all the points were painfully correct about me (INFJ)
Omg you're right! Thanks for pointing it out, I love this connection 😄 I really liked that test from season 1 and Khun is my favourite character in TOG 😊
@@1missgreen5 He's my favourite character too! ❤❤❤
Great video... I'm desperately struggling with the ghastly #7 right now. I never thought so many people would go all in for this "new normal" dystopian tyrannical society, yet here we are. How did I miss that as a possible outcome? I'm devastated by this and don't know how to move forward. At all. :(
"Intuition it doesn't mean it's right. It just means that's it's really a guess."
Actualy this time i'm embarassed by my guessing about something that proven wrong. In the past, my 'intuition' bring me some huge problem too, although it's rare because most of the time it's right. But i need to control myself to wild guessing things.
What a beautifully thorough and articulate video to call out INFJ. I'm guilty of all of these
Just now I was worrying about people neglecting me after about five years 😂😂
INFJ novelist here- Can confirm! 😅
Published my novel, Leaving Deally, in 2014 & have been “working on the sequel” for 6 years 😭 I have a list of ideas I write down as they occur; maybe once my list is finished I’ll have that inspiration again. 🤪
I feel like I'm always right on procedural or the order of things or how to do stuff when I skip ahead, even people's reactions down to what they even say. what I sometimes Miss and I'm mystified by once it happens and saddened every time.... Is other people's involvement and there sneakiness or them being conniving. I always forget to look into future on how people cannot always have everyone's best interest involved. If that makes since.
No. #7 is spot-on. One questions one's grip on reality itself after a significant failure of intuition. Specifically, after being led astray by a person who seemed authoritative.
Oh em GEE are INFJs ever stubborn (love u). I like working with INFJs and INTJs, though. I think our strengths and weaknesses balance each other out well. - INFP
My intuition is always correct. Distinguish everything good or bad in a person's face. I know that
Frank is handing out hearts 😂
I wish I have one 🌚
Thank you for the intervention. I shall think about this video every night for 7 months RIGHT BEFORE BED to you know, let that sink in...