I just love listening to INFJs talking because it feels funny to hear my own thoughts being said out loud by someone else, while I think that I am a weirdo.
@@MadoSteino and me reading your reply, and someone reading this one, and so on, and so on, there’s no ending, no rest, a constant cycle of discovery and infinite possibilities..... sorry I got lost in thought for a second there
Talking about my emotions is so hard. I need to find the right person to talk to. Not everyone is there for you in those moments. It's disappointing when you are there for them, but when you need help, they disappear. :/
I would say that I don't tell others about my worries because I don't want to worry them, but I don't exactly want to keep it to myself either, so I talk to walls...
@@hylh04 i almost never tell people what's going on when it's bad. I guess there are few reasons. And if i do tell them, it's usually after it's over and i'm like yeah this happened. But my way of letting some things out, or better said, calming myself is by drawing, angry drawing if needed, loud music, running, running is good! Or writing things down in this one book for thoughts that i have, did you try that?... What i understand is that you seem to need the company of others more than i do. And these are my solitary ways, but they can be a good option :) Also, what i'm kind of saying is that i have no idea how we can get people to be there with us... me, i'm just used to going trough things alone and frankly that's always been my way, but it has also drawn me to loneliness, and what i learned just recently is that it doesn't have to be that difficult to say to somebody, even in a basic situation, like taking a walk: i'm going to take a walk, you can join me if you want to... you know, to put yourself out there... if you already have some people that are close to you, or anybody that you know or don't know that seems to be open to listen, try with Hey, i'm going trough something right now, can you tell me what you think about it, it'd be nice to hear another perspective... and this is also true... and i see now that by saying it this way you are kind of lifting the weight off the subject, because you are asking them for an opinion and not for an actual support, but one can come with the other
Sadly I've been in this Ni-Ti Loop for years about my failure of a career so going into this lockdown with basically no options as an "essential work" (which I'm really not.. I work in FAST FOOD for GOD SAKES and I'm also at HIGH Risk with Covid symptoms being type-1 Diabetic if I catch it). I'm trying to just work and not think as they pile on more shifts as people keep quitting!!! I literally can't do anything right now as I NEED money to live and for expensive medication so my trapped feeling is only gotten worse as I literally have no options now. Thank you 2020 for making a bad situation worse.
Can you do a video on INFJ toxicity? I'm an INFJ and feel like I'm becoming toxic and self-centred because of all overthinking. Like you said, I'm always by myself, processing things, and kind of ignoring everyone else and their problems.
Have you considered that maybe you are burned out? It has been a very rough year. I think I am a pretty empathetic person, but we all only have so much patience and empathy to give and I find that when I have been through a lot of stress/negative feelings, I have nothing to give to anyone else. If your resources are completely depleted, you NEED to just take care of you. There is no shame in that. You are not toxic just because you can't be a ray of freaking sunshine for everyone else all the time, and you have every right to take care of you first. You also matter.
@@rachelk4805 Thank you for your kind words. Yeah, it's a burnout for sure, and just coming in terms with it makes it kinda better, making time to figure it out also helps a lot, just like you said! Thank you, thank you for caring and taking time to write it in words that I needed. Hope you're taking care of yourself too and staying safe!
@@ConvenientlyShapedUsername noo, I'm not dead :) And you will be ok too, and we're not toxic. Time passed, and I don't think that exhaustion and a need to retreat and healthily isolate are signs of toxicity anymore. Sometimes you need to listen to only your thoughts and needs, and it's ok. And you're for sure not alone in that, please take care of yourself and stay safe
Haahaha.. ace! I just let it ring sometimes. My brain says if it's dreadfully important, they will call back... why?? Lol i dont know, man. But its a thing
@@mlandry491 same if someone calls me randomly i mentally prepare myself and let it ring for a bit, calm myself, then wait for them to call back except for my family i love it when they call me every once in a while
As an INFJ I have learned that the best Fe Se things I can do for my Ni-Ti loop are: -Take my husband or best friend prisoner and make them listen to me talk about the spaghetti in my head til I feel better. Tell them not to try and fix it. -Throw the kids in the car and /spontaneously /go to Barnes and Noble or out for junk food. Or just to buy myself a little something. -Gardening. I have a huge garden where I am growing 60+ varieties of plants. Any time during the day I need a mental reset (I’m a stay at home mom, which is particularly exhausting for an INFJ-it forces me to use my Fe and Se ALL the time) I walk out to my garden. That is my ongoing, real world, sensory project that literally grounds me. -Give myself permission to put the heavy stuff down for a few days and enjoy videos like this and other encouraging, non-confrontational material to which I am not compelled to assign meaning. :)
I can almost 100% relate to this, but maybe a baby version of it, just need more plants and family members to hold hostage for mental spaghett and food escapes. Lol
"I have a huge garden...that literally grounds me" 🤣🤣🤣💀💀🤣🤣 I am dying! It was a total perfect pun and/or play on words in my head (I might be the only one who's brain took it there)....this inspired my brain to go down my rabbit hole and I now have a string of brilliant playing in the dirt connections jumping from one to the next....thank you, I love it when that happens...😁...... Oh look cheese! (Scratches head..how did I get from playing in the dirt to cheese🤔🤔🤔).......
The very best thing an INFJ can ever have is a spouse or life partner that will just simply listen to them. My wife is ISFJ so she doesn't suffer from the same mental jumble I have but its her nature to want to support me and she has learned that every now and then I just have to sit in front of her and let it all out. She will repeat much of what I say back to me to demonstrate empathy and then we just move on. I love her so much!!!!!
This explains a lot actually! As an INFJ I always wondered how could I be so emotional and racional at the same time. I'm really sensitive to feelings and emotions (altough I don't feel comfortable expressing them to others), but I have this need of logic and objectiveness in life. While studying I always needed to understand the logic of things or else I couldn't memorize them. It's really interesting to understand how the perception of paterns and symbols, when allied to that need of logic, can boost your awareness of what surrounds us. Eventually I ended dedicating myself to a field which combines perfectly the both core strenghts of an INFJ : Architecture. It's the perfect discipline for people who want to create something emotionally meaningful yet concret and objective. Thanks for clearing that out!
I am ENFP with an INFJ partner. These videos are SO HELPFUL for me to understand him better. He is very good at understanding me but I'm not so great always at understanding him. I see him stuck in "the loop" from the outside, but I have no idea what's going on in his head or what he's stuck on. It can be very frustrating because until he pulls himself out of it, he won't say anything at all. So I find that I just have to wait (sometimes for days) until he's ready to talk about it. Which is easier than it would be for others, because as ENFP I can distract myself pretty well! I'm glad to hear that spontaneity is good for INFJs, that's definitely something I can bring to the relationship 😂 I would love to see similar videos about my type or other types, the way you explain things really makes sense!
I am INFP with INFJ partner. INFJs don't look complicated, but they are (We INFP also). They don't let you notice, if something is wrong. They do not show it. This can be a problem, because you are thinking all the time, everything is ok, but there are earthquakes inside of him. So you have to be very intuitive to see that something is wrong. You have to ask always, if you feel there is something. He wont tell it to you at that moment, but he will know that he can tell it to you and can talk if he is ready to talk about it. INFP people are very intuitive, for me it is not so difficult to see that something is wrong with him. But I think the combination with ENFP is easier for an INFJ. Because ENFPs talking about their feeling, INFPs don't do this, and waiting, that the partner will notice. If there is something wrong with my partner, sonstimes I think he never will tell the problem, but it's absolutely ok for him, when I am just asking. Because this is showing interest and that I care about his feeling. That is sometimes enough. I think because INFJs always care about other peoples problems instead of their own, they don't want to be a like a problem for you. They always find a solution for their own problem alone. They don't feel comfortable to ask other people about help. But they are happy and remember it, if somebody offers help. Good luck for you both! ( I am not native English Speaker, sorry for my mistakes here in this text, hope you get everything)
@@Ra_Es thanks, this makes a lot of sense! I definitely let him know about my feelings, in fact I couldn't hide them even if I wanted to. I do sometimes ask him "what's wrong?" but I have to be careful not to ask him too often because it will feel invasive or controlling to him. Not sure if that is all INFJs or just my partner.
Liz L yes, I think this is good combination with somebody who shows feeling and somebody who hides feelings. In our Situation we both do not Talk about our feelings. This is sometimes problematic. I think as a entfp you are also intuitive and sensitive enough to know where is the right time, when not for asking.
Liz L instead of asking what’s wrong you might be able to just ask how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking about. It’s a more neutral question. I’m an infj so I’m hoping I can provide some insight. I somehow always shut down when my partner asks what is wrong, my mind just says “No Nothing is Wrong! Don’t let him think anything is wrong or you’ll bring him down and then things will be even worse!” But if you just ask how an infj is feeling or what’s on their mind it’s more subtle and doesn’t always ring our alarm bells. We just have an alarm to avoid anything that disturbs the peace between us and other people. We value having control over the outside situation (how other people feel in relation to us) more than how we feel sometimes. I’ll put myself last to keep things peaceful. I hope this helps
Whenever I realize I'm in an Ni-Ti loop, I immediately stop the train of thought. I won't come back to the topic later until I have external information (Fe, Se) that can feed my Ni/Ti for correct analysis. Otherwise, the loop goes on forever.
Oh crap I didn't thought of this before. No really no sarcasm I get in those loops pretty often but I just...got ok with it I think. Like "ok it's 4:00AM and I can't find the meaning of my life to wake up tomorrow, even to go to sleep, or to do what I'm supposed to do tomorrow. But I think that's enough I still need to wake up and I'm gonna be tired just cause I couldn't stop thinking, let's go to bed now or I'm gonna be super angry at me later." xD So I guess being practical helps me a lot. I also listen to music like "Let me get me" by Selena Gomez, musics like that really are a slap in the face and a "hey YOU ! Yes, YOU ! You're not gonna be defeated by yourself, huh ? Do you ? I hope not ! Uh ? You're not gonna ? Ok then ! Stop thinking press the "resume game" button of your life !" It helps me think like I'm gonna think when I'm not in those loops anymore. Oh and eating is really helpful too. Cause food is good.
I have to restart videos on RUclips all the time because I’ll find halfway through I haven’t been listening because I’m too busy thinking about something.
I am a 16 year old teenager. I grown up by seeing conflicts in my home. And it made me a cold infj. I am in a ni-ti loop. I am trying to improve myself. Now my responsibility is to recover from this loop and Be a good infj. This 2020 gave me lot of benefits. I improved a lot. But still this loop is a big obstacle. It makes me to procastinate.
hi how are you doing now?i'm going through the same thing.i had a lot of conflicts in the house and also was friend with a very cold intp and i slowly became very cold and strict like 'facts don't care about your feelings' type
I've gone through the same thing what worked for me is trying to reconnect with my family cause unconsciously i hated them (an esfj and an estj so it wasn't hard to do) it's important to be aware that you're not alone in this world. It was my dad who i started talking to after 6 years that made me realize that (entj). it's gonna take long but after actually living for a bit (talking with some friends even just sending memes, exercising, going on walks and observing people and schools opening up) you'll start to heal. I advice light hearted comedy shows to pass your time with.
"Try to be spontaneous." I love this and totally relate!! I have to plan my spontaneity! Thanks for sharing this helpful info about the Ni Ti loop. - a fellow INFJ
YES! I am an *Plany-Plan-Planner"& I always Plan to be Sontaneous. I keep extra clothed and shoes in the car trunk... For Example : "You never know when game of touch football might spring up."
Having ENXP friends helps with engaging spontaneity. I mean, sometimes they might drag you screaming and you're thinking "What is this madness?!" but you're there and over time it grows you. Plus, you have experiences that you wouldn't otherwise have.
The exercising thing is so true! It obviously won't miraculously solve your problems, but it takes your focus away from them. Engaging Se is SO important for your mental and emotional health, which sucks because it seems like we never EVER even notice that we need to worry about things involving Se. I've found that painting, gardening, cooking, and yes, exercising, just make me overall feel amazing in comparison to when I don't do them. It is extremely important, and honestly I believe it's one of the key things that help make INFJs feel happier in life.
I need time to be spontaneous. But as to breaking the loop, I broke the Ni-Ti political situation loop I was in by telling myself--a few times--"You have all the information. You've found what it all means. There's nothing more to add, so stop looking for more." It worked pretty quickly and I felt such relief. It's been about 3 weeks and I have no desire to mull over the situation. Now I find myself saying, "It is what it is." BTW--I was able to do this because of what I've learned from your videos on how we INFJ's think. Thanks, FJ!
Thank you, I also tend to overthink the same political problems again and again and it makes me so depressed. I will try to tell myself this from now on.
I agree completely with you, the best way to get out of the Ni-Ti loop is to force yourself to go in the outside world, to interact with people and to get new information (so you can feed your Ni with it and improve it in that way). We need to keep in mind that all this Ni-Ti stuff is only in our mind, it's not reality! I know it's hard to get out of the perfect and idealistic abstract world in our mind, but this is not real and we have no advantage of beeing stuck there! It's much more satisfying to learn and improve our abilities and to use them in the real world! Greetings from Italy🇮🇹
@@AudeSeyntMartinTheINFJlawyer can you specify on the type of actions? I'm in a loop, and I do take actions like producing work research reports, but it's not helping.
Holy crap, I don't know what's happening today but it's like RUclips is psychic and knows exactly what videos I need to watch. I'm an INFJ, and over the last few days I've fallen into this deep rut that it's hard to get out of. It happens mostly in the middle of the night, and I end up not being able to sleep until morning (6-7am). It's been terrible! Basically what happens is I start over-analyzing all of my choices and stressing about the things that I'm doing. It's a perpetual circle, because I realize I'm worrying about things I shouldn't be worrying about and then that makes me worry more. lol I begin to fear how my mind will process actual problems when right now it's suffocating over things that aren't that important. I fill myself with self-doubt and then get mad at myself for it. It's really silly but it honestly feels crippling.
Fellow INFJ here too and you just spoke my mind. Literally I’m so drained from overthinking that I’m making bad choices that I’m going to regret. Then I’m being too doubtful and critical about myself and it’s just so EXHAUSTING!! It’s fortunate and unfortunate that we’re not alone tackling these same kinds of problems. Sending you virtual hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I’ve been in the same place. Also falling asleep at 6/7am and then sleeping in short naps throughout the day because nobody cares that I haven’t slept yet, it’s “daytime” and people expect you to live on their sunny schedule no matter what. I’d like to recommend Wenzes, it’s an infj channel by a lady, and she has a ton of videos on infj problems and how to deal with them, in all areas of life . I find it to almost be like a life handbook for infj’s, it’s obviously not perfect because she’s just a human but I found it really useful nonetheless.
Exactly!! I understand. I’ve been trying to get out of this loop, but I always come back to it. I end up staying up all night thinking about my decisions, even the little ones and regretting them. I also tend to think a lot about the future so it’s really not helpful that I’m thinking about both the past and the future. It’s not healthy for me, but it’s so hard to get out of that loop
YES. Cause sometimes the fear itself is about how the duck my mind is going to react to stuff since it’s hella ducked up you know. I’m scared of me and my mind cause it never shuts up and I’m scared that it will make me worry until I am scared for real. See what I’m talking about?
Imagine over thinking and being a mother and a wife everyone suffers coz of my insecurities and lack of self belief and motivation... I honestly need some INFJ friends
I've been stuck in this loop for years with my writing; stories that should be written, edited and published within maybe 2 years have taken me 6. I feel like I am slowly pulling myself out of it by reaching out to others for opinions and help. I imagine the perfectionism can really make the Ni-Ti loop insanely difficult too, or at least it felt like it did with me.
The Infj has the capacity to be truly great writers. The perfectionism is best stared at the very beginning with the carefully crafted structure, of what you will write/fill in, in detail, from beginning to end. This helps keep you moving and you already have your end goal in sight. I've done national newspaper articles and had to keep to a maximum of 700 words, It's a great discipline to keep your chapters under control.Then that achievement we seek, actually happens.
I was about to post the same thing! I've been writing on the same thing since 2014. I'm still nowhere because I get stuck in the Ni-Ti loop and a need to attribute meaning to everything - on top of the rest having to be perfect, too. Talking to my husband or a friend gets me out of thanks to Fe, but the loop soon comes back because I become too hung up on the opinions of others. Se activation like walks help with writer's block, but here too only for a short while before doubt and perfectionism kick in and I'm back to overanalyzing and what not.
You can't be stuck for years in this loop, that's impossible from definition. You might need to revisit typing. Sometimes it is not loop, check your mental health and take care of yourself.
wow didn't expect a comment like this, but I have been stuck at the beginning for so long trying to find a way to make the first chapter have meaning and a lot of detail to it.
I'm not an INFJ, but I have a horrible loop of Fi-Si in INFP where I'll get emotional over past things and long for the good ol' days again. It's kinda weird.
I am an infp that is definitely si heavy. I use my ne, yes. But I wonder Is it a loop if each function shines it's own light? Idk.. But I dont hate it . I"m a writer and perfectionist, myself. ( perfectionism does suck, I grant you. But it forces a high level of excellence, so l let it use me ill knowing the end product will be ace.) Using the si as much or together with, if not more than my ne, just puts more tools in the tool box imho.. I live wholeheartedly with/in my imagination. We are friend and foe. But when my boots are required on the ground, and not in the clouds, I need the boundaries/grounding that the si provides for me. I find it adds weight, levity, a certain credibility that I didnt always embrace. I like a good ne si cocktail. I will say this tho, if I ignore my ne, I can become ocd level compulsive. That does truly exhaust. Its the balance that works.
Yeah, I hate when I get stuck in the Fi-Si Loop. It can feel like hell. Keeping myself busy and meditating really help me manage it. When I'm alone for too long I fall deeper into the rabbit hole.
The patterns…. That’s what has me stuck. Every time I try to go out of my comfort zone…. People do the same things. I just don’t think I can deal with people anymore. Every time I try to get out… I end up sinking back in the loop further. This video is so spot on! You explain it all more than any therapist.
He is so right about getting around people. I’m a 52 year old who only just now found out that I’m an INFJ. I finally figured out years ago that the more I stay home the more I want to stay home and then I get stuck with my gerbil wheel thoughts. Put a time limit on that alone time. For me no more than 2 days.
Founding out my personality type (INFJ) made me feel so understood and not alone. It's fun to know that we partially share our mindsets and a relief (at least for me) that I'm not a weirdo or just out of my mind. Thanks for your videos, after quarantine and a loop period I hope this one gave me some sort of recipe for not getting back into loop so often. Greetings from Italy 😊
Stumbled upon your channel by a whim and it's really helped me as an INFJ, I've been more motivated in doing stuff like learning about myself and being more open when talking to people, whether online or in person. The first video of yours I saw (how MBTI types react to stuff I'm not sure which, I binge watched them), I laughed, related and felt understood by your other videos. I'm early this time and I hope you can see this. Thank you,FJ ♡! Luv from a 🇯🇵🇵🇭
As INFJ we also forget to connect with ourself and when we do everything becomes easier. You need to first understand your self to be understood by others
@@AudeSeyntMartinTheINFJlawyer Thank you for the advice, ever since quarantine I've been developing (dk if that's the word) skills in arts actually, I've always been focused on my academics and that really stressed me out this past years. And I'm glad and pleasant surprised to have found some creative outlets, learning about myself too. Again, thank you ♡!
INFP here. This actually has helped me understand my two modes of cooking. Recently heard a friend call cooking, "chaos art" and I oscillate between wanting to follow recipes to the letter (always stressful / triggers overplanning), and improvising recipes I'm comfortable with (more relaxing / allows me to be more "present" in the kitchen and engage with what's actually in front of me rather than comparing to a perfect recipe).
Exactly, it is all about me in my head, about all my bubley talk and all the self accusations of myself from myself that I shouldn't over share to people and exhaust myself but then I want to help and listen....but then I am drained but then no.....yes...it is all about me in my head.... with my brain who is a big glutton for people's stories/emotions, and I just can being grumpy to myself that I cannot stand myself but then it is what it is
This video really felt like therapy. Thank you so much. Getting into typology has totally changed my life because it has filled in a major part of the large puzzle I am always trying to build in my mind as an INFJ. Could you do a generic video on cognitive functions and what are the dominant, auxiliary and inferior functions for different types? I keep reading about it online but I think the way you talk would help me remember it better.
Spontaneity is a real challenge for me. I know it makes zero sense but, I literally have a day singled out to practice being spontaneous. The reason being, I have to be mentally prepared to be "spontaneous". I know it is ridiculous but I guess for me this is the only way to get there one step at a time😅
Thanks FJ. As an INFJ, I feel like using our Fe and Se can be really useful when we are feeling bad or something. Like, when I feel bad about something I usually DON'T wanna talk about it and absolutely figure it out by myself but I just can't sometimes, so in those times I think we can actually consider, at the very least, talking to someone we trust. Also doing exercise. Yes, this is good. When I'm unealthy I'm usually thinking "exercise is meaningless" but if I end up actually doing sports or something then I feel sooo much better. So yeah that's my insight, good luck to all the Infjs out there. Don't get too stuck in your head fam, usually when I feel down I'm like "everything is meaningless --> especially Fe and Se using" but it's a wrong induction. Just gotta reconnect with our Fe and Se sometimes.
Thank you Frank for promoting mental health care and crisis supports. I am a mental health therapist and I appreciate the awareness you have provided regarding the need in our world for support during these challenging times.
So you can get addicted to that?! :D I also felt the same way, so I'm trying to exercise regularly. I hope I'll get addicted, it would be so much easier than convincing my lazy butt to move everyday :P
Since I don't have to commute to work since two months I take the extra time to exercise, take walks outside etc etc... it has been so helpful with handling all the stress 👏
Thank you, I needed that reminder - we don't need to find "forever friends" in every situation, be open to different kinds of connections without attaching to specific outcomes.
You came in with this in the right time. I've been thinking about living in the moment for a WHILE now. And I've started implementing it too😳 I really am done with overthinking things that doesn't help at all anymore with things that are upsetting
Ekhert Tolle book NOW is a good reference for this! You can find it read out loud by him on RUclips as the full audiobook! Look for the one with his voice and the chimes (not the robot). :)
Ive unconsciously been in this Ni-Ti loop for almost 4 years now, building up as the years go by and me thinking that "its making me a better and well-built person". Oh how I was so wrong. I REALLY appreciate these videos that you make tho! It really helps. Ive only recently gotten into mbti for a few months now and recently found out im an INFJ(A shadowed one too at that). So im a little knew to everything but I still want to improve and be better. life is short and I dont wanna spend almost half or all my life or even at the start of my life being broken or lost. So might as well try my best to get the best out of it! Im still like, 13 so im really hoping I can fix myself after this.. Thank you again!
Working on that Se is so important cause we can get impulsive and destructive if push comes to shove. I like meditation, sitting with a glass of something or in front of a fan breeze lol, petting animals, decorating, painting, flowers, looking at pretty stuff, coordinating outfits, cooking. I think I've developed this function over the years to a healthier point. Even better is if you pair Ti and Se to learn an immersive hobby.
This is EXACTLY where I am at right now! I have never been so connected to a video before. I cant wait to get out and do stuff again to stop the inner dialogue of descriptive meanings about what everything means and how everything is patterned against me, which is just in my mind, thankyou Frank ❤👍
I totally get the "Pebble in the shoe" analogy. Can you IMAGINE walking around with that first huge rock in your shoe? At least now it's a little pebble, and a smooth one, even if you can't ever get rid of it. The rock-tumbler is a totally awesome analogy for our minds and souls! We are constantly working, all of the time, to make things as safe as possible. 👍
Omg I was literally speaking aloud to myself when I got the notification for this. I was like "not me spending the whole morning crying and then cheering up the second I feel an ounce of being valued how INFJ of me" and then a new FJ video comes to the rescue... yay!
I’ve found that just going out in the world and interacting with other people can only serve as a temporary distraction to the Ni-Ti loop. You’re in a loop because there is a problem and it won’t stop til you find a solution. Talking about it with other people helps but it needs to be people you trust and feel understood by else you really won’t be opening up about the problem and start to resent bringing it up and now having them aware of what’s going on in your head. So you confront the loop head-on until you find a solution or change in mentality.
Problem comes up when you're an INFJ who doesn't have any emotional bonds to people, and no one understands you, so you just get stuck in the Ni-Ti Loop all alone.
This video was so on point that it hurt. My anxiety has been so bad lately, being spontaneous here and there is a relief. Like taking a different route spur of the moment while driving because it's so refreshing to see new surroundings and have that pure sensory experience, figure out how to navigate from an unfamiliar place.
it makes so much sense... i haven't left the house for 9 weeks now because of the pandemic and for some reason, my instinctual response is to find more people to just talk to to remind myself the outside world still exists. I guess I really should pick back up on working out too though. There's also my violin... Hm. ...I'm still not gonna be spontaneous though. Gross.
I discovered your channel today and am out words to explain how well you understand me. I'm an INFJ, i learned that a few years ago, what I didn't know was how my personality traits influence my mental health. And all you're saying is true. I've experienced all of that.
Every time I try to find a friend, i wonder how and if we're compatible to become BFF forever or my soulmate.. and then i start doubting myself, whether I'm good enough, and I put too much pressure on myself (and maybe the other person as well) to make this all work out... Sigh. Things are so tough.
This video couldn't have come at a better time! Myself, and I'm sure quite a few other INFJs, are in a Ni-Ti loop right now just based off of what is going on right now in the world. I actually decided to take a test during this time and for the first time in my life I got INTJ (I took the same test months ago and got INFJ). Being off from work and being stuck at home has really messed with me and I haven't been utilizing Fe and Se as much because of it. I think right now more than ever we need to try and put in the effort to use Fe and Se in whatever ways are available to us. The examples you gave in this video are great. Thanks FJ.
4 года назад
I have been going off on my own with my dog and just camping in my car during my weekends. I don't plan where ill sleep, I just park alongside the highway or find a public free campground. When when I'm outside i talk to anyone i see, my fog makes it easy to start a conversation. I have never felt happier or more at peace in my life.
Wow, i was about to comment walking in nature and connecting with people as a way to deal with depressive feelings, so much recognition in the other things you bring up and clear insights, thanks
This video is gold. There were additional factors but the being caught in the loop of over processing over thinking my fear contributed to the end of my relationship. It didn’t help that it was with an INTJ. I didn’t understand the type at the time. That he would never articulate emotions so I was constantly churning about what he felt.
Spending time with a pet more often has been a good way for me to get out of that Ni-Ti loop & is more quarantine friendly. Like maybe instead of trying to assign meaning to everything, I can just like, play fetch with my dog more and practice being really present with him. Thank you for this video! Very relevant for me, haha! 🐶💜
I think the reason your videos are so popular with INFJs is because we are the ones that are spending the most time trying to understand and find meaning about life in general. Im just trying to understand more about myself which is difficult having introverted thinking as the weaker trait
This is a great exploration of an INFJ's tertiary loop, but it’s crucial to reframe how tertiary loops work, particularly using the function pairings outlined in the Trauma Response Personality Indicator (TRPI). In TRPI, tertiary loops involve the dominant function inverting to interact with the tertiary function, leading to unique overlaps and dynamics between types. Importantly, these flips don’t occur in isolation, as functions operate in complete pairings that define how types shift under stress. For example, when an INFJ enters an Ne > Ti loop, their inferior Se doesn’t simply get ignored-it flips into Si to support Ne > Ti. This shift causes the INFJ to use Si > Fe as a supporting mechanism, grounding their exploration of abstract patterns in internalized sensory impressions while drawing on external emotional alignment. However, the INFJ remains primarily focused on their tertiary Ne > Ti pairing, as it drives their cognitive processing in this state. This loop explains why INFJs may seem "stuck" in abstract thought, disconnected from their external environment. It’s also important to note that intuition, whether introverted or extroverted, needs to gather its data from somewhere. Ni relies on Se to gather external sensory information, while Ne depends on Si to draw from internalized sensory impressions and past experiences. When these sources are flipped or suppressed, the intuition becomes disconnected, leading to the characteristic struggles seen in tertiary loops. TRPI highlights similar dynamics across other types, emphasizing how entire function pairings shift: ENTP (Fight Response): Typically using Ne > Ti as their dominant pairing, an ENTP under stress may flip to Ni > Fe. When entering their tertiary loop, the entire cognitive process shifts to function like an INFJ (Ni > Fe). This shift leads the ENTP to favor deeper insights and emotional alignment, focusing more on abstract, internal meanings. At the same time, their usual reliance on Si is suppressed, leading them to overemphasize immediate sensory engagement through Se, which supports their flipped dominant. ISFJ (Fawn Response): Typically using Si > Fe, an ISFJ under stress may flip to Se > Ti, adopting the functional dynamics of an ESTP. In this state, the ISFJ becomes highly focused on their tertiary Ti in combination with the inverted dominant pairing, supported by Ni > Fe. The ISFJ uses this shift to engage with immediate sensory reality (Se) while trying to interpret its abstract meanings (Ni). However, Ni > Fe here acts as a supporting mechanism, much like Si > Fe does for an INFJ, with the ISFJ primarily relying on Ti to guide their logical refinement. INTJ (Freeze Response): Normally operating with Ni > Te, an INTJ in a loop accesses Ne > Fi, flipping their functional dynamics to resemble an ENFP. Their inferior Se flips into Si, which supports their dominant Ni by anchoring their abstract insights in past sensory details. While their dominant Ni shifts to Ne, favoring new connections and speculative possibilities, the supporting Si causes them to fixate on how those possibilities tie back to past patterns, which can stall actionable progress. ESFP (Flight Response): Typically using Se > Fi, an ESFP’s loop flips Se into Si, making their functional dynamics resemble those of an ISTJ. However, rather than relying on internalized emotions, their tertiary Te becomes the focus. This shift causes the ESFP to prioritize external structure and logical organization, often trying to impose order on their environment while using Si to draw on past details and experiences for guidance. This dynamic can lead to a rigid focus on tasks and practical outcomes, which contrasts with their usual adaptability and spontaneity. This clear view of tertiary loops, using TRPI’s function pairings, explains how types adapt to stress and interact with their tertiary functions. By understanding these flipped attitudes and suppressed functions, we can better grasp how cognitive processes respond dynamically to different situations. Reframing tertiary loops in this way not only clarifies function interactions but also provides actionable insights for self-awareness and growth. Thoughts?
OH MY JESUS I just found ur channel today and realized that I am an INFJ, and I was like, I must tell my brother who is an INFJ. And even though I just binge watched a bunch of ur videos I didn't remember what ur name was haha, and then I saw it and thought, hmmm, wonder if it's a punny alias, and then I looked up the meaning of James and it's supplanter or underminer. Sneaky sneaky. I love aliases too. ty for explaining my mind to me. i feel frankly undermined. sorry that now you have attracted all of these people like this to ur channel to analyze you. u really took one for the team. literally first helpful person on the internet. 🙌🏼
I’m going through this now and it really gets to me I feel caught up from time to time, it’s like I built it up from nowhere.. but I knew there was some kind of extroverted experience I stopped doing like socialising, talking to my friends or family. It’s become obvious to me now. I think being alone with your thoughts for too long is one major cause of getting looped in, this has really cleared things up for me so thank you.
Hey thanks this explains a lot. I get into ni-ti loop trying to write an essay....my brain goes in overdrive (I literally gave myself a migraine for days) yet like 10% of my brain is actually working on the essay...90% is just freaking out that I might miss something. I drive myself completely crazy. I couldn't do my essay and couldn't make the loop stop....untill I turned on RUclips to watch a video....out of my head and listening to something else...just sensing for a bit to calm down. And weirdly enough, if I than ask myself "what would by teacher want to see in this essay?".... I can type that sucker up in seconds......its a no brainer. Ni-ti gives me a freak out panicking I might forget something trying to remember ALL the important stuff...Fe chill and clear headed simply thinking of the relevant things. Its like day and night. I simply need to approach this through my Fe.
Yes!!!! Hearing other INFJ say what I used to believe was “ just me “- is so freeing! My generation had a lot of shame. Not fitting in from the start of life - when this guy talks about the infj stare! Or - getting lost during , a creative jumble of inspired thoughts - In the past People would say: “ I need to take a walk to think this over “… My biggest lesson recently has been , to realise Stress blocks totally the impressions infj’s receive from all enjoyed sources - It stops the feeling sensing - And numbness Sets in. I didn’t know over doing foods and alcohol was an infj thing - I’ll listen to this again. Changing it up!! Thanks.
INFJ here. Great video and advice, worth the three (!!!) tries to tape, and super timely as well with the world in the state it is. Thanks to FJ for always sharing such helpful insight and knowledge! Wanted to share something that's been a HUGE game changer for me and might help others in breaking this Ni-Ti loop is a combination of TRE (Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises) and somatic movement. They're both about putting 100% full focus on slow, deliberate movement of your body mechanics in very simple, straightforward ways to reconnect your conscious awareness of your body from your brain to your muscles. It's easy to forget we get stuck BOTH mentally and physically-no disconnect there. It helps to realize the body is part of the unconscious mind and emotions and thoughts get stored in it, like a giant biological hard drive. Being stuck in the Ni-Ti loop most definitely relates to physical tension somewhere, and I think that's a huge part of the loop getting reinforced from our body back to our brains. As we get sucked further down into it, we lose more and more awareness of our body as we are living in our heads. Not a good combo! A beneficial way of harnessing that superpower certainly is sitting for meditation. Not beneficial is to sit there mentally freaking out about figuring everything out and panicking about WhAt CaN I pOsSiBlY dO?!?!? Lol. I laugh retrospectively, but... hah. Doesn't feel funny in the moment. The TRE sets are deceptively simple and easy, don't take much time, but their power cannot be underestimated, just like our power of overthinking. :D They're so easy and accessible that literally anyone can do them, nothing but your body, floor, and a wall required, and I think most of us reading have plenty of those around these days. Heck, you could even take it outside in the external natural world and use a tree instead of a wall. I discovered these a few weeks back and the immediate benefit has been life changing. They're wonderful because you right away feel and sense the physical difference, so it is something in the external physical world that you can easily do in short time and gain immediate feedback. I think it sets off a cascade of opening up our inferior functions, because then we aren't trapped in this tense loop of over-processing. Personally I've found it's opened me up much more to being spontaneous in other simple ways, just getting up and moving my body around however feels good, no rules or thinking or "right way" or any of that. It's incredibly liberating and stress relieving! When we aren't tense, guess what? We have a lot more clarity in our dominant functions as well, instead of getting overwhelmed by them! It's like it sharpens their ability and brings more balance with the external sensing pieces so we can actually utilize our dominant functions in a healthier, more realistic way. Honestly, everyone would benefit from these exercises, regardless of type. It's basic human stuff. But maybe the other extroverted types already get this and are like DUH, you weirdos! Haha. ;) I'd recommend the YT channels TRE for All and Essential Somatics if anyone wants to check it out. Also, if anyone has persistent low back, hip, or leg pain or tension from doing stuff like sitting too much, I invite you to explore the psoas muscle releases. Amaaaazing stuff. Best wishes to all!
It's so important to have trustworthy people to talk to! I get caught in the loop, and when I was single I'd stay there for months, possibly years!! Luckily my husband can spot when my gears are grinding and he gets me to talk about it. Meditation and "me" time has also done wonders for my mental health.
Every time you uploaded its exactly what's going on! I was thinking about being stuck in this loop last night! It's pretty dreadful sometimes and this really helped me understand!
Thank you so much! Especially for stating that the Ni-Ti-thing is the main way we process and not just a negative phenomena when we get stuck in the loop. To only hear about the negative aspects is something that really confused me. I really enjoy seeing some more of you "serious" videos these days, though I like the comedy too. 🙃
I’ve been watching your INFJ videos - just wanted to say THANK YOU for putting in words and explaining this confusing INFJ conundrum. It makes so much more sense when I hear you explain it.
This one gets a gold star. Needed to hear this. Actually this understanding is what I was searching for. Thanks for the examples. Apperication for the videos
This is so interesting because I was aware I do this, I knew I had to force myself to be around others to get out of the cycle, but I didn’t know it was an INFJ thing and actually a known problem. That’s super cool, thanks for the video!! Very helpful
And here I am, finally having learnt to make decisions without asking for opinions, reading reviews or anything, because I realized I had surrounded myself with people whose opinions were mainly discouraging. And now you tell me I should find new friends, when I have just settled myself into emotional isolation?
Thanks so much for helping take away the stigma of therapy and getting help! As an INFJ myself it is so helpful to have someone else to talk through your thought processes with. It definitely gets me out of that loop in my head. Your content always helps me understand myself a little bit better. Thanks for being you!
The act of searching this video was itself an example of me perpetuating this loop, analyzing and formulating. Of course the content is also very helpful in breaking it.
I have not learned the balance between acceptance and working toward change. I think sometimes we see things as they really are (and they can be really bad), and instead of acknowledging the reality so that we can then start changing what we can, we deny it, perhaps because we feel there is nothing we can do. We need to tell ourselves that we can always do SOMETHING.
Hey Frank, I enjoyed your discussion. It's nice to see your serious side in the midst of all the 16-Type skits (Fe). My experience is a little different than yours when it comes to the Ni-Ti loop. I can get stuck in over-thinking because my Ti fails to recognize that my Ni was never intended to conform to the pure logic of Ti. The best that Ti can accomplish is to place a rough logic on Ni that tends to make it more manageable or functional in everyday life, but of course logic can never fully describe or understand intuition, and so that's where I can get mistakenly stuck in over-thinking things. For me, the solution is to trust my Ni (even though I'll never rationally understand it), and to remember that Ti in the INFJ stack serves the primary role or expediency or pragmatism. I've found that self-doubt results from trying to go too far with Ti, and that I can never be who I most am as an INFJ if I don't trust my dominant function of Ni. You gave the example of just being in the moment via meditation. To me, this is very helpful for the INFJ in particular because we can simultaneously tap into both the deeply transcendent (Ni) and the very immanent (Se) at the same time. The Ti can add to this experience while outside of meditation because it can provide a supportive logic for the practice...even though it will never be adequate. Once again, I get myself in trouble if I stop trusting the wisdom of my dominant function, and begin to overthink it with Ti. Ti is tertiary within the INFJ stack for a reason, i.e., it serves a more limited role in the whole of who we are as INFJ's. Hopefully some of this was interesting or helpful. Peace. :)
You’re welcome to come to earth, can’t make it much worse than the people already here are. But if you come here you’ll probably end up Needing the counseling! : p
feels like our mind is a transponder or a place that receives signals and transmits that into our senses, so we can feel what other humans feel and sense. lol, not to sound hella like an alien but that’s my perception of it.
ah this video is fab! I just made the connection to INFJs and childhood trauma. It makes sense to me, that when we grow up in a bad environment/have an unsafe home and the 'outside world is unbearable' we go nuts, coz we imprison ourselves in our Ni-Ti loop coz the outside world is so overwhelming and distressing... / I guess we have to sort of re-learn basic behaviours (Se/Fe functions) once we are outside of the home, in a safe situation and have started healing the trauma.
Very good FJ! And you're right. I think I'm feeling guilty for using this whole distance thing as an excuse for not getting together with my friends :( And I miss them! Better Help is a good call 👍
I workout everyday now to get myself out of the Ni-Ti loop. Gets me out of the overthinking and lets me focus on the now. The feel good chemicals that your body releases from workouts makes you feel much more grounded as well, so when you do return to the problem, you don't approach it your initial issue in a much more practical way.
Hi Frank! Your videos have really inspired me, of course, I'm an ENFJ! Please can you do a video on the difference between infj and enfj & (hopefully) infj and enfj dating? It would be super helpful :D Thank you for all the wisdom you have shared with the world. Everyone should watch your videos. Kindly, Kari
Thank you so much for this video! Started out the day in the depressed side but did realize I was in " the loop." Listening today has helped a lot and gave me some more tools to work with. Thanks again
Distracting myself with other people's emotions... Awesome! Also, the idea that I shouldn't look for friends but just people to hang out with... that hurts, which means it's true...
Currently at work, stuck in an Ni-Ti loop. I hate it so much, it weighs down on you so heavily. To combat this, I'm going to hit the gym hard and then go for a run. Afterwards, I'll journal about how I feel, read it out loud so that I can actually hear it. Hopefully it'll cause me to realize how pointless it is too put so much energy into something that, deep down inside, I know doesn't even make sense. All this to say that this video came along at just the right moment for me. Thnx
I couldn't find anyone I liked at Betterhelp, but I LOVE Wysa! I love talking to the bot better than any therapist I've ever tried in person or online, and I love all the exercises and meditations.
I have been in a loop for more or less 2 years, probably also because of what gave me ptsd. In the past 2 years I have been unproductive, I overthought so much I wanted to die sometimes, and I had serious difficulties helping people because I didn't really understand what I should've done in some cases, because I didn't understand their emotions anymore and I locked mine in a safe. This video may be that one thing that will help me get out of this nightmare. Thank you, dude. Thank you a lot
I didn't realize this was the issue I was currently struggling with until watching this. I kept feeling stuck in this "trying to make sense of everything" loop. Turns out I was just ignoring the outside world/objective reality a little too much. Oops. Thanks Frank, you're great at explaining stuff.
Honestly, a year ago I had some pretty bad rumors spread about me by a toxic ex bff. It caused me to withdraw COMPLETELY. I did not hang out for like half a year. I am still in that phase but the last thing i wanted to do was get out and have fun. I am finally feeling the need to socialize now that school has started again, and i feel much happier. However, i do still have a lingering feeling of apathy.
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![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
I just love listening to INFJs talking because it feels funny to hear my own thoughts being said out loud by someone else, while I think that I am a weirdo.
Just like me reading your comment 😂 and others reading my reply 😂😂😂
@@MadoSteino and me reading your reply, and someone reading this one, and so on, and so on, there’s no ending, no rest, a constant cycle of discovery and infinite possibilities..... sorry I got lost in thought for a second there
@@ch-17vevo55 no prob 😂 it's very fun 😂 and interesting
Yeah, we’re all in this together fellow wizards!
@@MadoSteino I'm still struggling to find my place, or, my role in all of this. I simply hope I'm good enough. 😑
Looping looping looping obsessing obsessing worrying worrrying thinking thinking SCREAM
Talking about my emotions is so hard. I need to find the right person to talk to. Not everyone is there for you in those moments. It's disappointing when you are there for them, but when you need help, they disappear. :/
I would say that I don't tell others about my worries because I don't want to worry them, but I don't exactly want to keep it to myself either, so I talk to walls...
@@hylh04 I talk to myself.
@@heathermcdougall2399 I talk to essentially everything except for others haha
That problem runs through my head all the time :/
@@hylh04 i almost never tell people what's going on when it's bad. I guess there are few reasons. And if i do tell them, it's usually after it's over and i'm like yeah this happened. But my way of letting some things out, or better said, calming myself is by drawing, angry drawing if needed, loud music, running, running is good! Or writing things down in this one book for thoughts that i have, did you try that?... What i understand is that you seem to need the company of others more than i do. And these are my solitary ways, but they can be a good option :) Also, what i'm kind of saying is that i have no idea how we can get people to be there with us... me, i'm just used to going trough things alone and frankly that's always been my way, but it has also drawn me to loneliness, and what i learned just recently is that it doesn't have to be that difficult to say to somebody, even in a basic situation, like taking a walk: i'm going to take a walk, you can join me if you want to... you know, to put yourself out there... if you already have some people that are close to you, or anybody that you know or don't know that seems to be open to listen, try with Hey, i'm going trough something right now, can you tell me what you think about it, it'd be nice to hear another perspective... and this is also true... and i see now that by saying it this way you are kind of lifting the weight off the subject, because you are asking them for an opinion and not for an actual support, but one can come with the other
2020 is one big Ni-Ti loop.
And it only seems to get loopier.
Yeah...
Sadly I've been in this Ni-Ti Loop for years about my failure of a career so going into this lockdown with basically no options as an "essential work" (which I'm really not.. I work in FAST FOOD for GOD SAKES and I'm also at HIGH Risk with Covid symptoms being type-1 Diabetic if I catch it). I'm trying to just work and not think as they pile on more shifts as people keep quitting!!! I literally can't do anything right now as I NEED money to live and for expensive medication so my trapped feeling is only gotten worse as I literally have no options now. Thank you 2020 for making a bad situation worse.
loopier... >_
@@WARPAINTandUnicorns I'm sorry to hear that. Hope everything works well for you.
Fruit löops yim yum
Can you do a video on INFJ toxicity? I'm an INFJ and feel like I'm becoming toxic and self-centred because of all overthinking. Like you said, I'm always by myself, processing things, and kind of ignoring everyone else and their problems.
Get a job or volunteering which is focused around catering for other peoples needs
Have you considered that maybe you are burned out? It has been a very rough year. I think I am a pretty empathetic person, but we all only have so much patience and empathy to give and I find that when I have been through a lot of stress/negative feelings, I have nothing to give to anyone else. If your resources are completely depleted, you NEED to just take care of you. There is no shame in that. You are not toxic just because you can't be a ray of freaking sunshine for everyone else all the time, and you have every right to take care of you first. You also matter.
Thank god I’m not alone in that. You’re not dead right? Maybe I’ll be okay too lmao
@@rachelk4805 Thank you for your kind words. Yeah, it's a burnout for sure, and just coming in terms with it makes it kinda better, making time to figure it out also helps a lot, just like you said! Thank you, thank you for caring and taking time to write it in words that I needed. Hope you're taking care of yourself too and staying safe!
@@ConvenientlyShapedUsername noo, I'm not dead :) And you will be ok too, and we're not toxic. Time passed, and I don't think that exhaustion and a need to retreat and healthily isolate are signs of toxicity anymore. Sometimes you need to listen to only your thoughts and needs, and it's ok. And you're for sure not alone in that, please take care of yourself and stay safe
INFP making a phone call: God I hope they don't answer.
G G
Your the best
Haahaha.. ace! I just let it ring sometimes. My brain says if it's dreadfully important, they will call back... why?? Lol i dont know, man. But its a thing
@@mlandry491 same if someone calls me randomly i mentally prepare myself and let it ring for a bit, calm myself, then wait for them to call back
except for my family i love it when they call me every once in a while
Basically Ixxx making phone calls
happened to me (infp) a few minutes ago. But they answered :(
As an INFJ I have learned that the best Fe Se things I can do for my Ni-Ti loop are:
-Take my husband or best friend prisoner and make them listen to me talk about the spaghetti in my head til I feel better. Tell them not to try and fix it.
-Throw the kids in the car and /spontaneously /go to Barnes and Noble or out for junk food. Or just to buy myself a little something.
-Gardening. I have a huge garden where I am growing 60+ varieties of plants. Any time during the day I need a mental reset (I’m a stay at home mom, which is particularly exhausting for an INFJ-it forces me to use my Fe and Se ALL the time) I walk out to my garden. That is my ongoing, real world, sensory project that literally grounds me.
-Give myself permission to put the heavy stuff down for a few days and enjoy videos like this and other encouraging, non-confrontational material to which I am not compelled to assign meaning. :)
I can almost 100% relate to this, but maybe a baby version of it, just need more plants and family members to hold hostage for mental spaghett and food escapes. Lol
"I have a huge garden...that literally grounds me"
🤣🤣🤣💀💀🤣🤣 I am dying! It was a total perfect pun and/or play on words in my head (I might be the only one who's brain took it there)....this inspired my brain to go down my rabbit hole and I now have a string of brilliant playing in the dirt connections jumping from one to the next....thank you, I love it when that happens...😁......
Oh look cheese!
(Scratches head..how did I get from playing in the dirt to cheese🤔🤔🤔).......
boojamay I always go to thinking about cheese 🧀
@@bananabreadloaf 🤣🤣....yum..cheese..the best food
The very best thing an INFJ can ever have is a spouse or life partner that will just simply listen to them. My wife is ISFJ so she doesn't suffer from the same mental jumble I have but its her nature to want to support me and she has learned that every now and then I just have to sit in front of her and let it all out. She will repeat much of what I say back to me to demonstrate empathy and then we just move on. I love her so much!!!!!
This explains a lot actually! As an INFJ I always wondered how could I be so emotional and racional at the same time. I'm really sensitive to feelings and emotions (altough I don't feel comfortable expressing them to others), but I have this need of logic and objectiveness in life. While studying I always needed to understand the logic of things or else I couldn't memorize them. It's really interesting to understand how the perception of paterns and symbols, when allied to that need of logic, can boost your awareness of what surrounds us. Eventually I ended dedicating myself to a field which combines perfectly the both core strenghts of an INFJ : Architecture. It's the perfect discipline for people who want to create something emotionally meaningful yet concret and objective. Thanks for clearing that out!
Holy shit you explained it so well and I am studying architecture too
The exact reason why I almost failed algebra but aced physics
I am ENFP with an INFJ partner. These videos are SO HELPFUL for me to understand him better. He is very good at understanding me but I'm not so great always at understanding him. I see him stuck in "the loop" from the outside, but I have no idea what's going on in his head or what he's stuck on. It can be very frustrating because until he pulls himself out of it, he won't say anything at all. So I find that I just have to wait (sometimes for days) until he's ready to talk about it. Which is easier than it would be for others, because as ENFP I can distract myself pretty well! I'm glad to hear that spontaneity is good for INFJs, that's definitely something I can bring to the relationship 😂 I would love to see similar videos about my type or other types, the way you explain things really makes sense!
I am INFP with INFJ partner. INFJs don't look complicated, but they are (We INFP also). They don't let you notice, if something is wrong. They do not show it. This can be a problem, because you are thinking all the time, everything is ok, but there are earthquakes inside of him. So you have to be very intuitive to see that something is wrong. You have to ask always, if you feel there is something. He wont tell it to you at that moment, but he will know that he can tell it to you and can talk if he is ready to talk about it. INFP people are very intuitive, for me it is not so difficult to see that something is wrong with him. But I think the combination with ENFP is easier for an INFJ. Because ENFPs talking about their feeling, INFPs don't do this, and waiting, that the partner will notice.
If there is something wrong with my partner, sonstimes I think he never will tell the problem, but it's absolutely ok for him, when I am just asking. Because this is showing interest and that I care about his feeling. That is sometimes enough. I think because INFJs always care about other peoples problems instead of their own, they don't want to be a like a problem for you. They always find a solution for their own problem alone. They don't feel comfortable to ask other people about help. But they are happy and remember it, if somebody offers help. Good luck for you both! ( I am not native English Speaker, sorry for my mistakes here in this text, hope you get everything)
@@Ra_Es thanks, this makes a lot of sense! I definitely let him know about my feelings, in fact I couldn't hide them even if I wanted to. I do sometimes ask him "what's wrong?" but I have to be careful not to ask him too often because it will feel invasive or controlling to him. Not sure if that is all INFJs or just my partner.
Oh.. yikes.
Liz L yes, I think this is good combination with somebody who shows feeling and somebody who hides feelings. In our Situation we both do not Talk about our feelings. This is sometimes problematic.
I think as a entfp you are also intuitive and sensitive enough to know where is the right time, when not for asking.
Liz L instead of asking what’s wrong you might be able to just ask how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking about. It’s a more neutral question. I’m an infj so I’m hoping I can provide some insight. I somehow always shut down when my partner asks what is wrong, my mind just says “No Nothing is Wrong! Don’t let him think anything is wrong or you’ll bring him down and then things will be even worse!” But if you just ask how an infj is feeling or what’s on their mind it’s more subtle and doesn’t always ring our alarm bells. We just have an alarm to avoid anything that disturbs the peace between us and other people. We value having control over the outside situation (how other people feel in relation to us) more than how we feel sometimes. I’ll put myself last to keep things peaceful. I hope this helps
Whenever I realize I'm in an Ni-Ti loop, I immediately stop the train of thought. I won't come back to the topic later until I have external information (Fe, Se) that can feed my Ni/Ti for correct analysis. Otherwise, the loop goes on forever.
How do you do that, i get stuck where i cant stop thinking about the subject untill its solved
Oh crap I didn't thought of this before. No really no sarcasm I get in those loops pretty often but I just...got ok with it I think.
Like "ok it's 4:00AM and I can't find the meaning of my life to wake up tomorrow, even to go to sleep, or to do what I'm supposed to do tomorrow. But I think that's enough I still need to wake up and I'm gonna be tired just cause I couldn't stop thinking, let's go to bed now or I'm gonna be super angry at me later." xD
So I guess being practical helps me a lot. I also listen to music like "Let me get me" by Selena Gomez, musics like that really are a slap in the face and a "hey YOU ! Yes, YOU ! You're not gonna be defeated by yourself, huh ? Do you ? I hope not ! Uh ? You're not gonna ? Ok then ! Stop thinking press the "resume game" button of your life !"
It helps me think like I'm gonna think when I'm not in those loops anymore.
Oh and eating is really helpful too. Cause food is good.
”Am I going to go mad and die? I’ll go outside to smell the flowers and ask them first.”
"don't look for friends just look for people you can hang out with for a while" that's exactly what i'm doing
Been waiting for this! Still it took me a lot of time to shut my mind off and actually focus on what you're saying. 😂
Same here 🙆♀️
Same here. He's right. But...that's not why it hurt.
I have to restart videos on RUclips all the time because I’ll find halfway through I haven’t been listening because I’m too busy thinking about something.
Same
I swear to God I was just thinking about this before I saw it on the comments lol...
I am a 16 year old teenager. I grown up by seeing conflicts in my home. And it made me a cold infj. I am in a ni-ti loop. I am trying to improve myself. Now my responsibility is to recover from this loop and Be a good infj. This 2020 gave me lot of benefits. I improved a lot. But still this loop is a big obstacle. It makes me to procastinate.
hi how are you doing now?i'm going through the same thing.i had a lot of conflicts in the house and also was friend with a very cold intp and i slowly became very cold and strict like 'facts don't care about your feelings' type
I've gone through the same thing what worked for me is trying to reconnect with my family cause unconsciously i hated them (an esfj and an estj so it wasn't hard to do) it's important to be aware that you're not alone in this world. It was my dad who i started talking to after 6 years that made me realize that (entj). it's gonna take long but after actually living for a bit (talking with some friends even just sending memes, exercising, going on walks and observing people and schools opening up) you'll start to heal. I advice light hearted comedy shows to pass your time with.
"Try to be spontaneous." I love this and totally relate!! I have to plan my spontaneity! Thanks for sharing this helpful info about the Ni Ti loop. - a fellow INFJ
YES! I am an *Plany-Plan-Planner"& I always Plan to be Sontaneous. I keep extra clothed and shoes in the car trunk... For Example :
"You never know when game of touch football might spring up."
Having ENXP friends helps with engaging spontaneity. I mean, sometimes they might drag you screaming and you're thinking "What is this madness?!" but you're there and over time it grows you. Plus, you have experiences that you wouldn't otherwise have.
The exercising thing is so true! It obviously won't miraculously solve your problems, but it takes your focus away from them. Engaging Se is SO important for your mental and emotional health, which sucks because it seems like we never EVER even notice that we need to worry about things involving Se. I've found that painting, gardening, cooking, and yes, exercising, just make me overall feel amazing in comparison to when I don't do them. It is extremely important, and honestly I believe it's one of the key things that help make INFJs feel happier in life.
I need time to be spontaneous. But as to breaking the loop, I broke the Ni-Ti political situation loop I was in by telling myself--a few times--"You have all the information. You've found what it all means. There's nothing more to add, so stop looking for more." It worked pretty quickly and I felt such relief. It's been about 3 weeks and I have no desire to mull over the situation. Now I find myself saying, "It is what it is." BTW--I was able to do this because of what I've learned from your videos on how we INFJ's think. Thanks, FJ!
Thank you, I also tend to overthink the same political problems again and again and it makes me so depressed. I will try to tell myself this from now on.
I agree completely with you, the best way to get out of the Ni-Ti loop is to force yourself to go in the outside world, to interact with people and to get new information (so you can feed your Ni with it and improve it in that way). We need to keep in mind that all this Ni-Ti stuff is only in our mind, it's not reality! I know it's hard to get out of the perfect and idealistic abstract world in our mind, but this is not real and we have no advantage of beeing stuck there! It's much more satisfying to learn and improve our abilities and to use them in the real world!
Greetings from Italy🇮🇹
Taking action over and over again is what got me out of the loop
@@AudeSeyntMartinTheINFJlawyer can you specify on the type of actions? I'm in a loop, and I do take actions like producing work research reports, but it's not helping.
Holy crap, I don't know what's happening today but it's like RUclips is psychic and knows exactly what videos I need to watch. I'm an INFJ, and over the last few days I've fallen into this deep rut that it's hard to get out of. It happens mostly in the middle of the night, and I end up not being able to sleep until morning (6-7am). It's been terrible! Basically what happens is I start over-analyzing all of my choices and stressing about the things that I'm doing. It's a perpetual circle, because I realize I'm worrying about things I shouldn't be worrying about and then that makes me worry more. lol I begin to fear how my mind will process actual problems when right now it's suffocating over things that aren't that important. I fill myself with self-doubt and then get mad at myself for it. It's really silly but it honestly feels crippling.
Fellow INFJ here too and you just spoke my mind. Literally I’m so drained from overthinking that I’m making bad choices that I’m going to regret. Then I’m being too doubtful and critical about myself and it’s just so EXHAUSTING!! It’s fortunate and unfortunate that we’re not alone tackling these same kinds of problems. Sending you virtual hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I’ve been in the same place. Also falling asleep at 6/7am and then sleeping in short naps throughout the day because nobody cares that I haven’t slept yet, it’s “daytime” and people expect you to live on their sunny schedule no matter what. I’d like to recommend Wenzes, it’s an infj channel by a lady, and she has a ton of videos on infj problems and how to deal with them, in all areas of life . I find it to almost be like a life handbook for infj’s, it’s obviously not perfect because she’s just a human but I found it really useful nonetheless.
Exactly!! I understand. I’ve been trying to get out of this loop, but I always come back to it. I end up staying up all night thinking about my decisions, even the little ones and regretting them. I also tend to think a lot about the future so it’s really not helpful that I’m thinking about both the past and the future. It’s not healthy for me, but it’s so hard to get out of that loop
YES. Cause sometimes the fear itself is about how the duck my mind is going to react to stuff since it’s hella ducked up you know. I’m scared of me and my mind cause it never shuts up and I’m scared that it will make me worry until I am scared for real. See what I’m talking about?
Imagine over thinking and being a mother and a wife everyone suffers coz of my insecurities and lack of self belief and motivation...
I honestly need some INFJ friends
I've been stuck in this loop for years with my writing; stories that should be written, edited and published within maybe 2 years have taken me 6. I feel like I am slowly pulling myself out of it by reaching out to others for opinions and help. I imagine the perfectionism can really make the Ni-Ti loop insanely difficult too, or at least it felt like it did with me.
The Infj has the capacity to be truly great writers. The perfectionism is best stared at the very beginning with the carefully crafted structure, of what you will write/fill in, in detail, from beginning to end. This helps keep you moving and you already have your end goal in sight. I've done national newspaper articles and had to keep to a maximum of 700 words, It's a great discipline to keep your chapters under control.Then that achievement we seek, actually happens.
I was about to post the same thing! I've been writing on the same thing since 2014. I'm still nowhere because I get stuck in the Ni-Ti loop and a need to attribute meaning to everything - on top of the rest having to be perfect, too.
Talking to my husband or a friend gets me out of thanks to Fe, but the loop soon comes back because I become too hung up on the opinions of others.
Se activation like walks help with writer's block, but here too only for a short while before doubt and perfectionism kick in and I'm back to overanalyzing and what not.
100% there with you...
You can't be stuck for years in this loop, that's impossible from definition. You might need to revisit typing. Sometimes it is not loop, check your mental health and take care of yourself.
wow didn't expect a comment like this, but I have been stuck at the beginning for so long trying to find a way to make the first chapter have meaning and a lot of detail to it.
I'm not an INFJ, but I have a horrible loop of Fi-Si in INFP where I'll get emotional over past things and long for the good ol' days again. It's kinda weird.
Actually many patterns dot only apply to INFJ
I am an infp that is definitely si heavy. I use my ne, yes. But I wonder Is it a loop if each function shines it's own light? Idk.. But I dont hate it . I"m a writer and perfectionist, myself. ( perfectionism does suck, I grant you. But it forces a high level of excellence, so l let it use me ill knowing the end product will be ace.) Using the si as much or together with, if not more than my ne, just puts more tools in the tool box imho.. I live wholeheartedly with/in my imagination. We are friend and foe. But when my boots are required on the ground, and not in the clouds, I need the boundaries/grounding that the si provides for me. I find it adds weight, levity, a certain credibility that I didnt always embrace. I like a good ne si cocktail. I will say this tho, if I ignore my ne, I can become ocd level compulsive. That does truly exhaust. Its the balance that works.
Yeah, I hate when I get stuck in the Fi-Si Loop. It can feel like hell. Keeping myself busy and meditating really help me manage it. When I'm alone for too long I fall deeper into the rabbit hole.
Nostalgia is a widespread condition, I don't think any of the 'I' band personality types are immune from this.
Bruh I don't even know what would be happening to me😅
The patterns…. That’s what has me stuck. Every time I try to go out of my comfort zone…. People do the same things. I just don’t think I can deal with people anymore. Every time I try to get out… I end up sinking back in the loop further. This video is so spot on! You explain it all more than any therapist.
Exercising? Spontaneity? 🥴 I’ll try it Frank, but I’m gonna complain the whole time!
He is so right about getting around people. I’m a 52 year old who only just now found out that I’m an INFJ. I finally figured out years ago that the more I stay home the more I want to stay home and then I get stuck with my gerbil wheel thoughts. Put a time limit on that alone time. For me no more than 2 days.
Founding out my personality type (INFJ) made me feel so understood and not alone. It's fun to know that we partially share our mindsets and a relief (at least for me) that I'm not a weirdo or just out of my mind. Thanks for your videos, after quarantine and a loop period I hope this one gave me some sort of recipe for not getting back into loop so often. Greetings from Italy 😊
I have to admit that exercise really helps. It helps to improve my mood and I feel better about myself
Stumbled upon your channel by a whim and it's really helped me as an INFJ, I've been more motivated in doing stuff like learning about myself and being more open when talking to people, whether online or in person. The first video of yours I saw (how MBTI types react to stuff I'm not sure which, I binge watched them), I laughed, related and felt understood by your other videos. I'm early this time and I hope you can see this. Thank you,FJ ♡! Luv from a 🇯🇵🇵🇭
As INFJ we also forget to connect with ourself and when we do everything becomes easier. You need to first understand your self to be understood by others
@@AudeSeyntMartinTheINFJlawyer Thank you for the advice, ever since quarantine I've been developing (dk if that's the word) skills in arts actually, I've always been focused on my academics and that really stressed me out this past years. And I'm glad and pleasant surprised to have found some creative outlets, learning about myself too. Again, thank you ♡!
INFP here. This actually has helped me understand my two modes of cooking. Recently heard a friend call cooking, "chaos art" and I oscillate between wanting to follow recipes to the letter (always stressful / triggers overplanning), and improvising recipes I'm comfortable with (more relaxing / allows me to be more "present" in the kitchen and engage with what's actually in front of me rather than comparing to a perfect recipe).
Exactly, it is all about me in my head, about all my bubley talk and all the self accusations of myself from myself that I shouldn't over share to people and exhaust myself but then I want to help and listen....but then I am drained but then no.....yes...it is all about me in my head.... with my brain who is a big glutton for people's stories/emotions, and I just can being grumpy to myself that I cannot stand myself but then it is what it is
This video really felt like therapy. Thank you so much. Getting into typology has totally changed my life because it has filled in a major part of the large puzzle I am always trying to build in my mind as an INFJ.
Could you do a generic video on cognitive functions and what are the dominant, auxiliary and inferior functions for different types? I keep reading about it online but I think the way you talk would help me remember it better.
As an INFJ, this video kinda hurt my feelings for some reason lol
@@saudadeanguish3139 Oh! Why is that so?
@@saudadeanguish3139 Me too. And it wasn't about the loop. I know about all that. It feels... not real?
Spontaneity is a real challenge for me. I know it makes zero sense but, I literally have a day singled out to practice being spontaneous. The reason being, I have to be mentally prepared to be "spontaneous". I know it is ridiculous but I guess for me this is the only way to get there one step at a time😅
Thanks FJ.
As an INFJ, I feel like using our Fe and Se can be really useful when we are feeling bad or something.
Like, when I feel bad about something I usually DON'T wanna talk about it and absolutely figure it out by myself but I just can't sometimes, so in those times I think we can actually consider, at the very least, talking to someone we trust.
Also doing exercise. Yes, this is good. When I'm unealthy I'm usually thinking "exercise is meaningless" but if I end up actually doing sports or something then I feel sooo much better.
So yeah that's my insight, good luck to all the Infjs out there. Don't get too stuck in your head fam, usually when I feel down I'm like "everything is meaningless --> especially Fe and Se using" but it's a wrong induction. Just gotta reconnect with our Fe and Se sometimes.
just want to say that because of this video I've learned a new word in English
Thank you Frank for promoting mental health care and crisis supports. I am a mental health therapist and I appreciate the awareness you have provided regarding the need in our world for support during these challenging times.
I feel EXACTLY the same about exercising. 🙈😄 Social distancing made me workout a lot and now I'm addicted. 💪
Same!
So you can get addicted to that?! :D I also felt the same way, so I'm trying to exercise regularly. I hope I'll get addicted, it would be so much easier than convincing my lazy butt to move everyday :P
I still lazy :(
Since I don't have to commute to work since two months I take the extra time to exercise, take walks outside etc etc... it has been so helpful with handling all the stress 👏
Thank you, I needed that reminder - we don't need to find "forever friends" in every situation, be open to different kinds of connections without attaching to specific outcomes.
You came in with this in the right time. I've been thinking about living in the moment for a WHILE now. And I've started implementing it too😳 I really am done with overthinking things that doesn't help at all anymore with things that are upsetting
Ekhert Tolle book NOW is a good reference for this! You can find it read out loud by him on RUclips as the full audiobook! Look for the one with his voice and the chimes (not the robot). :)
Yeah living in the Moment is great but when you arent anymore in the Moment it fucks your head. Really hard to handle
Was totally stuck in the Ni-Ti loop right before watching this. Haha thank youuuuu
Ive unconsciously been in this Ni-Ti loop for almost 4 years now, building up as the years go by and me thinking that "its making me a better and well-built person". Oh how I was so wrong. I REALLY appreciate these videos that you make tho! It really helps. Ive only recently gotten into mbti for a few months now and recently found out im an INFJ(A shadowed one too at that). So im a little knew to everything but I still want to improve and be better. life is short and I dont wanna spend almost half or all my life or even at the start of my life being broken or lost. So might as well try my best to get the best out of it! Im still like, 13 so im really hoping I can fix myself after this.. Thank you again!
INFJ. This is great. I get SO stuck processing. I call it “paralysis of analysis.” Thanks for the reminders of how to flip the flow. 🙌🏽🙌🏽
Oh my god..... Is this why I keep flip-flopping between INFJ and INTJ?! This would make so much sense...
Working on that Se is so important cause we can get impulsive and destructive if push comes to shove. I like meditation, sitting with a glass of something or in front of a fan breeze lol, petting animals, decorating, painting, flowers, looking at pretty stuff, coordinating outfits, cooking. I think I've developed this function over the years to a healthier point. Even better is if you pair Ti and Se to learn an immersive hobby.
Trying to control the universe through ideas and analysis
Mission impossible
Surrender to the universe sis
The functions are not going away just because you want them to lol
Control issues seem to underlie so many problems with so many people.
Relatable 😀
Whoa, "grinding"
is what i put in the fire when i pray for peace. A whole crazy trip to get the word affirmation just right . Loving the synchronicity
This is EXACTLY where I am at right now! I have never been so connected to a video before. I cant wait to get out and do stuff again to stop the inner dialogue of descriptive meanings about what everything means and how everything is patterned against me, which is just in my mind, thankyou Frank ❤👍
I totally get the "Pebble in the shoe" analogy. Can you IMAGINE walking around with that first huge rock in your shoe? At least now it's a little pebble, and a smooth one, even if you can't ever get rid of it. The rock-tumbler is a totally awesome analogy for our minds and souls! We are constantly working, all of the time, to make things as safe as possible. 👍
Omg I was literally speaking aloud to myself when I got the notification for this. I was like "not me spending the whole morning crying and then cheering up the second I feel an ounce of being valued how INFJ of me" and then a new FJ video comes to the rescue... yay!
I’ve found that just going out in the world and interacting with other people can only serve as a temporary distraction to the Ni-Ti loop. You’re in a loop because there is a problem and it won’t stop til you find a solution. Talking about it with other people helps but it needs to be people you trust and feel understood by else you really won’t be opening up about the problem and start to resent bringing it up and now having them aware of what’s going on in your head. So you confront the loop head-on until you find a solution or change in mentality.
Problem comes up when you're an INFJ who doesn't have any emotional bonds to people, and no one understands you, so you just get stuck in the Ni-Ti Loop all alone.
You gave a lot of great advice! I especially like the one about just hanging out with people, instead of requiring deep connections all the time. 😊
This video was so on point that it hurt. My anxiety has been so bad lately, being spontaneous here and there is a relief. Like taking a different route spur of the moment while driving because it's so refreshing to see new surroundings and have that pure sensory experience, figure out how to navigate from an unfamiliar place.
it makes so much sense... i haven't left the house for 9 weeks now because of the pandemic and for some reason, my instinctual response is to find more people to just talk to to remind myself the outside world still exists.
I guess I really should pick back up on working out too though. There's also my violin... Hm.
...I'm still not gonna be spontaneous though. Gross.
I discovered your channel today and am out words to explain how well you understand me. I'm an INFJ, i learned that a few years ago, what I didn't know was how my personality traits influence my mental health. And all you're saying is true. I've experienced all of that.
Every time I try to find a friend, i wonder how and if we're compatible to become BFF forever or my soulmate.. and then i start doubting myself, whether I'm good enough, and I put too much pressure on myself (and maybe the other person as well) to make this all work out... Sigh.
Things are so tough.
This video couldn't have come at a better time! Myself, and I'm sure quite a few other INFJs, are in a Ni-Ti loop right now just based off of what is going on right now in the world. I actually decided to take a test during this time and for the first time in my life I got INTJ (I took the same test months ago and got INFJ). Being off from work and being stuck at home has really messed with me and I haven't been utilizing Fe and Se as much because of it. I think right now more than ever we need to try and put in the effort to use Fe and Se in whatever ways are available to us. The examples you gave in this video are great. Thanks FJ.
I have been going off on my own with my dog and just camping in my car during my weekends. I don't plan where ill sleep, I just park alongside the highway or find a public free campground. When when I'm outside i talk to anyone i see, my fog makes it easy to start a conversation. I have never felt happier or more at peace in my life.
I think it's really cool how there's actual terminology for the Ni-Ti loop. This video made my day!
Wow, i was about to comment walking in nature and connecting with people as a way to deal with depressive feelings, so much recognition in the other things you bring up and clear insights, thanks
This video is gold. There were additional factors but the being caught in the loop of over processing over thinking my fear contributed to the end of my relationship. It didn’t help that it was with an INTJ. I didn’t understand the type at the time. That he would never articulate emotions so I was constantly churning about what he felt.
Spending time with a pet more often has been a good way for me to get out of that Ni-Ti loop & is more quarantine friendly. Like maybe instead of trying to assign meaning to everything, I can just like, play fetch with my dog more and practice being really present with him. Thank you for this video! Very relevant for me, haha! 🐶💜
Good idea
I think the reason your videos are so popular with INFJs is because we are the ones that are spending the most time trying to understand and find meaning about life in general.
Im just trying to understand more about myself which is difficult having introverted thinking as the weaker trait
This is a great exploration of an INFJ's tertiary loop, but it’s crucial to reframe how tertiary loops work, particularly using the function pairings outlined in the Trauma Response Personality Indicator (TRPI). In TRPI, tertiary loops involve the dominant function inverting to interact with the tertiary function, leading to unique overlaps and dynamics between types. Importantly, these flips don’t occur in isolation, as functions operate in complete pairings that define how types shift under stress.
For example, when an INFJ enters an Ne > Ti loop, their inferior Se doesn’t simply get ignored-it flips into Si to support Ne > Ti. This shift causes the INFJ to use Si > Fe as a supporting mechanism, grounding their exploration of abstract patterns in internalized sensory impressions while drawing on external emotional alignment. However, the INFJ remains primarily focused on their tertiary Ne > Ti pairing, as it drives their cognitive processing in this state. This loop explains why INFJs may seem "stuck" in abstract thought, disconnected from their external environment.
It’s also important to note that intuition, whether introverted or extroverted, needs to gather its data from somewhere. Ni relies on Se to gather external sensory information, while Ne depends on Si to draw from internalized sensory impressions and past experiences. When these sources are flipped or suppressed, the intuition becomes disconnected, leading to the characteristic struggles seen in tertiary loops.
TRPI highlights similar dynamics across other types, emphasizing how entire function pairings shift:
ENTP (Fight Response): Typically using Ne > Ti as their dominant pairing, an ENTP under stress may flip to Ni > Fe. When entering their tertiary loop, the entire cognitive process shifts to function like an INFJ (Ni > Fe). This shift leads the ENTP to favor deeper insights and emotional alignment, focusing more on abstract, internal meanings. At the same time, their usual reliance on Si is suppressed, leading them to overemphasize immediate sensory engagement through Se, which supports their flipped dominant.
ISFJ (Fawn Response): Typically using Si > Fe, an ISFJ under stress may flip to Se > Ti, adopting the functional dynamics of an ESTP. In this state, the ISFJ becomes highly focused on their tertiary Ti in combination with the inverted dominant pairing, supported by Ni > Fe. The ISFJ uses this shift to engage with immediate sensory reality (Se) while trying to interpret its abstract meanings (Ni). However, Ni > Fe here acts as a supporting mechanism, much like Si > Fe does for an INFJ, with the ISFJ primarily relying on Ti to guide their logical refinement.
INTJ (Freeze Response): Normally operating with Ni > Te, an INTJ in a loop accesses Ne > Fi, flipping their functional dynamics to resemble an ENFP. Their inferior Se flips into Si, which supports their dominant Ni by anchoring their abstract insights in past sensory details. While their dominant Ni shifts to Ne, favoring new connections and speculative possibilities, the supporting Si causes them to fixate on how those possibilities tie back to past patterns, which can stall actionable progress.
ESFP (Flight Response): Typically using Se > Fi, an ESFP’s loop flips Se into Si, making their functional dynamics resemble those of an ISTJ. However, rather than relying on internalized emotions, their tertiary Te becomes the focus. This shift causes the ESFP to prioritize external structure and logical organization, often trying to impose order on their environment while using Si to draw on past details and experiences for guidance. This dynamic can lead to a rigid focus on tasks and practical outcomes, which contrasts with their usual adaptability and spontaneity.
This clear view of tertiary loops, using TRPI’s function pairings, explains how types adapt to stress and interact with their tertiary functions. By understanding these flipped attitudes and suppressed functions, we can better grasp how cognitive processes respond dynamically to different situations.
Reframing tertiary loops in this way not only clarifies function interactions but also provides actionable insights for self-awareness and growth. Thoughts?
OH MY JESUS I just found ur channel today and realized that I am an INFJ, and I was like, I must tell my brother who is an INFJ. And even though I just binge watched a bunch of ur videos I didn't remember what ur name was haha, and then I saw it and thought, hmmm, wonder if it's a punny alias, and then I looked up the meaning of James and it's supplanter or underminer. Sneaky sneaky. I love aliases too. ty for explaining my mind to me. i feel frankly undermined. sorry that now you have attracted all of these people like this to ur channel to analyze you. u really took one for the team. literally first helpful person on the internet. 🙌🏼
I’m going through this now and it really gets to me I feel caught up from time to time, it’s like I built it up from nowhere.. but I knew there was some kind of extroverted experience I stopped doing like socialising, talking to my friends or family. It’s become obvious to me now. I think being alone with your thoughts for too long is one major cause of getting looped in, this has really cleared things up for me so thank you.
Hey thanks this explains a lot. I get into ni-ti loop trying to write an essay....my brain goes in overdrive (I literally gave myself a migraine for days) yet like 10% of my brain is actually working on the essay...90% is just freaking out that I might miss something. I drive myself completely crazy. I couldn't do my essay and couldn't make the loop stop....untill I turned on RUclips to watch a video....out of my head and listening to something else...just sensing for a bit to calm down. And weirdly enough, if I than ask myself "what would by teacher want to see in this essay?".... I can type that sucker up in seconds......its a no brainer. Ni-ti gives me a freak out panicking I might forget something trying to remember ALL the important stuff...Fe chill and clear headed simply thinking of the relevant things. Its like day and night. I simply need to approach this through my Fe.
Yes!!!!
Hearing other INFJ say what I used to believe was “ just me “- is so freeing!
My generation had a lot of shame.
Not fitting in from the start of life - when this guy talks about the infj stare!
Or - getting lost during , a creative jumble of inspired thoughts -
In the past
People would say:
“ I need to take a walk to think this over “…
My biggest lesson recently has been , to realise Stress blocks totally the impressions infj’s receive from all enjoyed sources -
It stops the feeling sensing -
And numbness
Sets in.
I didn’t know over doing foods and alcohol was an infj thing -
I’ll listen to this again.
Changing it up!! Thanks.
INFJ here. Great video and advice, worth the three (!!!) tries to tape, and super timely as well with the world in the state it is. Thanks to FJ for always sharing such helpful insight and knowledge! Wanted to share something that's been a HUGE game changer for me and might help others in breaking this Ni-Ti loop is a combination of TRE (Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises) and somatic movement. They're both about putting 100% full focus on slow, deliberate movement of your body mechanics in very simple, straightforward ways to reconnect your conscious awareness of your body from your brain to your muscles. It's easy to forget we get stuck BOTH mentally and physically-no disconnect there. It helps to realize the body is part of the unconscious mind and emotions and thoughts get stored in it, like a giant biological hard drive.
Being stuck in the Ni-Ti loop most definitely relates to physical tension somewhere, and I think that's a huge part of the loop getting reinforced from our body back to our brains. As we get sucked further down into it, we lose more and more awareness of our body as we are living in our heads. Not a good combo! A beneficial way of harnessing that superpower certainly is sitting for meditation. Not beneficial is to sit there mentally freaking out about figuring everything out and panicking about WhAt CaN I pOsSiBlY dO?!?!? Lol. I laugh retrospectively, but... hah. Doesn't feel funny in the moment.
The TRE sets are deceptively simple and easy, don't take much time, but their power cannot be underestimated, just like our power of overthinking. :D They're so easy and accessible that literally anyone can do them, nothing but your body, floor, and a wall required, and I think most of us reading have plenty of those around these days. Heck, you could even take it outside in the external natural world and use a tree instead of a wall.
I discovered these a few weeks back and the immediate benefit has been life changing. They're wonderful because you right away feel and sense the physical difference, so it is something in the external physical world that you can easily do in short time and gain immediate feedback. I think it sets off a cascade of opening up our inferior functions, because then we aren't trapped in this tense loop of over-processing. Personally I've found it's opened me up much more to being spontaneous in other simple ways, just getting up and moving my body around however feels good, no rules or thinking or "right way" or any of that. It's incredibly liberating and stress relieving!
When we aren't tense, guess what? We have a lot more clarity in our dominant functions as well, instead of getting overwhelmed by them! It's like it sharpens their ability and brings more balance with the external sensing pieces so we can actually utilize our dominant functions in a healthier, more realistic way.
Honestly, everyone would benefit from these exercises, regardless of type. It's basic human stuff. But maybe the other extroverted types already get this and are like DUH, you weirdos! Haha. ;)
I'd recommend the YT channels TRE for All and Essential Somatics if anyone wants to check it out. Also, if anyone has persistent low back, hip, or leg pain or tension from doing stuff like sitting too much, I invite you to explore the psoas muscle releases. Amaaaazing stuff. Best wishes to all!
It's so important to have trustworthy people to talk to! I get caught in the loop, and when I was single I'd stay there for months, possibly years!! Luckily my husband can spot when my gears are grinding and he gets me to talk about it. Meditation and "me" time has also done wonders for my mental health.
Every time you uploaded its exactly what's going on! I was thinking about being stuck in this loop last night! It's pretty dreadful sometimes and this really helped me understand!
Thank you so much! Especially for stating that the Ni-Ti-thing is the main way we process and not just a negative phenomena when we get stuck in the loop. To only hear about the negative aspects is something that really confused me. I really enjoy seeing some more of you "serious" videos these days, though I like the comedy too. 🙃
I’ve been watching your INFJ videos - just wanted to say THANK YOU for putting in words and explaining this confusing INFJ conundrum. It makes so much more sense when I hear you explain it.
I’m so grateful I found your work. I’ve been feeling very ... different.
This one gets a gold star. Needed to hear this. Actually this understanding is what I was searching for. Thanks for the examples. Apperication for the videos
This is so interesting because I was aware I do this, I knew I had to force myself to be around others to get out of the cycle, but I didn’t know it was an INFJ thing and actually a known problem. That’s super cool, thanks for the video!! Very helpful
And here I am, finally having learnt to make decisions without asking for opinions, reading reviews or anything, because I realized I had surrounded myself with people whose opinions were mainly discouraging. And now you tell me I should find new friends, when I have just settled myself into emotional isolation?
Thanks so much for helping take away the stigma of therapy and getting help! As an INFJ myself it is so helpful to have someone else to talk through your thought processes with. It definitely gets me out of that loop in my head. Your content always helps me understand myself a little bit better. Thanks for being you!
"Be in the moment" I sometimes purposely try to see the world through the eyes of a dog. No words ascribed to anything. No analyzing.
The act of searching this video was itself an example of me perpetuating this loop, analyzing and formulating. Of course the content is also very helpful in breaking it.
Ikr..
*Rock Tumbler* is a perfect analogy! My brain is consumed by the loud chaotic churning of wild thoughts & ideas bumping into each other!
I have not learned the balance between acceptance and working toward change. I think sometimes we see things as they really are (and they can be really bad), and instead of acknowledging the reality so that we can then start changing what we can, we deny it, perhaps because we feel there is nothing we can do. We need to tell ourselves that we can always do SOMETHING.
I can't tell you how much your videos help me feel like I'm not a crazy person. Thank you!
Hey Frank, I enjoyed your discussion. It's nice to see your serious side in the midst of all the 16-Type skits (Fe). My experience is a little different than yours when it comes to the Ni-Ti loop. I can get stuck in over-thinking because my Ti fails to recognize that my Ni was never intended to conform to the pure logic of Ti. The best that Ti can accomplish is to place a rough logic on Ni that tends to make it more manageable or functional in everyday life, but of course logic can never fully describe or understand intuition, and so that's where I can get mistakenly stuck in over-thinking things. For me, the solution is to trust my Ni (even though I'll never rationally understand it), and to remember that Ti in the INFJ stack serves the primary role or expediency or pragmatism. I've found that self-doubt results from trying to go too far with Ti, and that I can never be who I most am as an INFJ if I don't trust my dominant function of Ni. You gave the example of just being in the moment via meditation. To me, this is very helpful for the INFJ in particular because we can simultaneously tap into both the deeply transcendent (Ni) and the very immanent (Se) at the same time. The Ti can add to this experience while outside of meditation because it can provide a supportive logic for the practice...even though it will never be adequate. Once again, I get myself in trouble if I stop trusting the wisdom of my dominant function, and begin to overthink it with Ti. Ti is tertiary within the INFJ stack for a reason, i.e., it serves a more limited role in the whole of who we are as INFJ's. Hopefully some of this was interesting or helpful. Peace. :)
i don't live on earth damn.
Same here, friend.
You’re welcome to come to earth, can’t make it much worse than the people already here are. But if you come here you’ll probably end up Needing the counseling! : p
Same
feels like our mind is a transponder or a place that receives signals and transmits that into our senses, so we can feel what other humans feel and sense. lol, not to sound hella like an alien but that’s my perception of it.
Highly appreciated, I've been practically agoraphobiaobic and I need to get out and get out of my head
ah this video is fab! I just made the connection to INFJs and childhood trauma. It makes sense to me, that when we grow up in a bad environment/have an unsafe home and the 'outside world is unbearable' we go nuts, coz we imprison ourselves in our Ni-Ti loop coz the outside world is so overwhelming and distressing... / I guess we have to sort of re-learn basic behaviours (Se/Fe functions) once we are outside of the home, in a safe situation and have started healing the trauma.
Very good FJ! And you're right. I think I'm feeling guilty for using this whole distance thing as an excuse for not getting together with my friends :( And I miss them!
Better Help is a good call 👍
Every company in the world should be using you as their spokesman.
From few days, I just can't perform my task because of ni ti loop and I was finding solution and here we go your video came as troubleshouter
I workout everyday now to get myself out of the Ni-Ti loop. Gets me out of the overthinking and lets me focus on the now. The feel good chemicals that your body releases from workouts makes you feel much more grounded as well, so when you do return to the problem, you don't approach it your initial issue in a much more practical way.
INFJ Aragorn son of Arathorn here. Thank you, FJ! This is good insight and advice. I thank you for your wisdom.
Also forcing myself to take action helps me gain new info to move forward even a little
Ni-ti in ESTP is pretty scary...I just stay there on a deeper level. Thanks, nice video explaining it !
Hi Frank! Your videos have really inspired me, of course, I'm an ENFJ! Please can you do a video on the difference between infj and enfj & (hopefully) infj and enfj dating? It would be super helpful :D Thank you for all the wisdom you have shared with the world. Everyone should watch your videos. Kindly, Kari
Thank you so much for this video! Started out the day in the depressed side but did realize I was in " the loop." Listening today has helped a lot and gave me some more tools to work with. Thanks again
Distracting myself with other people's emotions... Awesome! Also, the idea that I shouldn't look for friends but just people to hang out with... that hurts, which means it's true...
Thank you for explaining this. As an INFJ I often get stuck in that loop.
Currently at work, stuck in an Ni-Ti loop. I hate it so much, it weighs down on you so heavily. To combat this, I'm going to hit the gym hard and then go for a run. Afterwards, I'll journal about how I feel, read it out loud so that I can actually hear it. Hopefully it'll cause me to realize how pointless it is too put so much energy into something that, deep down inside, I know doesn't even make sense. All this to say that this video came along at just the right moment for me. Thnx
I couldn't find anyone I liked at Betterhelp, but I LOVE Wysa! I love talking to the bot better than any therapist I've ever tried in person or online, and I love all the exercises and meditations.
I have been in a loop for more or less 2 years, probably also because of what gave me ptsd. In the past 2 years I have been unproductive, I overthought so much I wanted to die sometimes, and I had serious difficulties helping people because I didn't really understand what I should've done in some cases, because I didn't understand their emotions anymore and I locked mine in a safe. This video may be that one thing that will help me get out of this nightmare. Thank you, dude. Thank you a lot
I didn't realize this was the issue I was currently struggling with until watching this. I kept feeling stuck in this "trying to make sense of everything" loop. Turns out I was just ignoring the outside world/objective reality a little too much. Oops. Thanks Frank, you're great at explaining stuff.
Honestly, a year ago I had some pretty bad rumors spread about me by a toxic ex bff. It caused me to withdraw COMPLETELY. I did not hang out for like half a year. I am still in that phase but the last thing i wanted to do was get out and have fun. I am finally feeling the need to socialize now that school has started again, and i feel much happier. However, i do still have a lingering feeling of apathy.