My Cancer Journey: The Emotional Effects
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- Опубликовано: 20 янв 2018
- Caution: I cry in this video!
Before and immediately after diagnosis there can be lots of different emotions. Today I’m sharing what those emotions feel like for me.
Remember: if you are watching this and you feel any of these emotions and you need support or to talk to a stranger - message me!
I also post daily stories on my Instagram:
deedohertyinsta
![What to Expect: Receiving Treatment [Part 3 of 7]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eH0MLes-Sd8/mqdefault.jpg)
I was diagnosed a month ago with invasive ductal carcinoma, had a lumpectomy and axillary node removal 2 weeks ago and waiting for a full diagnosis next week. I just watched your video and feel this is so so true. I feel the love. Love I never thought was possible to feel, and I feel amazing for it! I mean, the diagnosis is devastating and I'm randomly crying and worrying about my kids (I'm a single mum) but I wholeheartedly agree that experiencing this amount of love from so many directions is an amazing gift. I feel blessed. Feels very crazy to say, but it's true. Much love x
Thank you for sharing your journey - I have struggled with feeling alone, or wanting to hear from someone who ‘gets it’ and watching your videos is such a relief. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I just started following you.
I'm 35, mother of 2 (4 year old girl and 5 year old boy, nearly 6)
Found out recently that I have breast cancer - also grade 3 invasive duct carcinoma, but "triple negative" non hormone reactive...
It is already giving me peace watching you, someone so young and beautiful, brave these circumstances.
I'm at this point now, crying randomly. I've found that I shouldn't think about how I'm crying at random because that too induces crying.
Heather Evans sorry to hear this news!! That’s normal to feel that way!! You will start to balance out and become more accepting of what is happening ... then you will experience more emotions throughout - including anger, more fear etc. it’s all normal ... it’s overwhelming!! I think there’d be something wrong if you didn’t cry!!
Heather Evans Crying is cleansing there's nothing wrong with crying..it doesn't mean your weak it means you love your children so deeply...I get what your saying though..I want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you kick cancers butt! wishing you all the best! I hope you keep us updated if you wish..just know I care...,💕💪💕💪💕💪💕💪💕💕💕💕💕
How r u now. My mother just got diagnosed with triple negative bc
I just want to say a big thank you. I’m going to have my first treatment Friday and I was so scared till I found your journey and now you have given me peace. You are truly amazing and again thank you. I would love to able to connect with you. I feel thank you doesn’t seem enough. But thank you
Lisa Cameron aw Lisa! Thank you so much! I hope it all goes well for you x ❤️
I'm supposed to get my biopsy results phone call today & I'm nervous as hell. I hate that you're going through this, but it's also nice to see others' experiences & know you're not alone.
Thank you for your honesty and courage. You help more people than you will ever know. Loving thoughts🌸
Thank you so much for uploading ❤ your videos have a way of calming me down when I have a moment of anxiety.
On Friday I was told that what was thought to be a fibroma in my jaw, was actually an ewing sarcoma.
Thing with doctors in Germany is that they don't explain much. He just said that it's a malign tumor, it's rare and especially rare to be found in the jaw and could've easily spread already. But it's curable. It's a type of bone cancer apparently.
Next week I'll have scans and tests and a bone marrow puncture and I am preparing myself mentally for the results. I'm gathering information, I'm preparing myself for what could be - that's how I cope with my fear.
And your videos help a lot with that. Thank you ❤
Anxiety is the worst I would wish that on anyone...you are not crazy and I don't think you are in denial at all...I hate this for you! I want you to know I cried right along with you...I just started watching your videos and I love your personality and your spunk..I am so happy you have so many people who love and care for you! You are such an inspiration for all of us...I will continue to support you through your journey...After your mammogram and you thought you were leaving after the ultrasound... did it worry you when they said..."hmmm we need to do an ultrasound" then they call a Dr.to come in to have a look...That scared me so much because I got dressed and I was leaving...then I was set up to see a surgeon just four day's later and no one was telling me anything! I don't think they should do that..I have a panic attack condition so you can imagine...😠 You are in my thoughts and prayers always and I wish you all the best..we are all here to support you! Am I allowed to share your story with my Facebook friend's? I started to then I stopped because I didn't want to get in trouble...lol...btw I love your humor...I get it...keep the faith...💕💪💕💪💕💪💕💪💕💪💕💕💕💕💕💕
I’m on my husbands profile so ignore the man pic xx I went to the drs about a lump yesterday xx you inspire me, your so strong! Im in awe... your making me brave.. thankyou xxxx
jordanlukexxx92 good!! Glad you are getting checked!!
Thankyou for what you said about the 'not knowing' is very difficult. I agree.
Tomorrow September 2 ,2018 I'm having yearly MRI to check if
brain tumor
(atypical sphenoid wing meningioma) has grown or changed. Diagnosed 2014...had 5 fractions SRT Post partial resection. Also going to have chest x ray for suspicious lumps behind right ear, on neck, sternum. Those hard little lumps have given me nerves like crazy. So then it's the wait until pathology report, doctor visits about results. Yikes. I agree with you...not knowing if they're going tell you it's cancer or not is SO Hard. Just make myself only focus on NOW, 5 minutes at a time.....try not to 'future-trip' . Thanks again for all your videos and your boys are adorable. I am incredibly amazed at how much you do. Love from Washington state, USA💚💚💚
Ann S oh Ann! I am hoping with fingers and toes crossed for you that all goes ok x It sound so scary! But you are right, cancer and time teach us just to take it one day at a time ❤️ Well done for staying so calm, very best of luck!
I have a diagnosis but still need PET and MRI- I hope I can get to the positive thinking stage. Thanks for sharing
Thanks for your videos. I have my first chemo on Tuesday and appreciate hearing what you have gone through.
Marilinaa best of luck with it! How are you feeling? What was your diagnosis? What kind of chemo will you be doing?
+Dee Doherty Hi Dee, Thanks for responding :) I have triple negative breast cancer stage 2 with one node and one 2.6 cm tumour. I will be getting the AC Taxol dose dense. chemo for 16 weeks. I was only diagnosed a week ago, so am in shock about chemo on Tuesday. Watching your videos today really helped. I am in Canada - Linda (my actual name)
Marilinaa oh Linda, I’m so sorry! Yes.. big shock but at least the treatment is starting straight away! You are getting the same chemo as me... don’t be scared by my videos though, because I’m one of the exceptions in terms of how sick AC made me. I’m on taxol now and it’s so much better... so you can at least know it’s not ALL bad!
It’s a scary time now but when it all settles in you will start to feel much better xx
+Dee Doherty Thanks Dee :) I hope you are feeling well.
Hi @@Marilinaa, I also live in Canada and diagnosed this week with bc. I am in Alberta, my email is sslapp@hotmail.com if you are interested in messaging back & forth.
I just got my diagnosis 3 days ago its been such an emotional rollercoaster
Karen Francis so sorry! It will get easier x
I was diagnosed a week ago. I stumbled onto your vlog and just want to say, thank you. I am still in the "processing stage". I don't know how to explain it but watching your journey has already helped me relax. My diagnosis is Invasive Ductal Carcinoma as well as Ductal Carcinoma In Situ, HER-2 negative/ progesterone and estrogen positive. Bless you and may God continue to bless you on your journey.
Andrea Woody hi Andrea! Wishing you all the best on this journey x so glad to relax you in some way!! I actually had DCIS as well, I just didn’t realise it at that time! So your journey might be similar enough to my own! Hope you are managing to cope ok and process it all ❤️
I have the same breast cancer,my surgery will be the 11th this month. Thank you for sharing with us. May the Lord bless
Judith Lionel I know it can be all very overwhelming but hang in there! There is light at the end of the tunnel. Prayer is powerful! Good Bless you!
Andrea! I have the same diagnosis as you as well as throw in having the BRCA mutation. Hope your treatment went well. Just had my first dose of Ac-T on Monday!
I have an appointment on Thursday at the breast clinic. I have a breast lump and swelling in my armpit. I am so terrified, my mother went through breast cancer and I have a 5 year old boy with autism who needs me so much. Thank you for sharing your story. Sending lots of love. 💗xxx
Linda McCutcheon try not to be scared! I know it sounds impossible but there will be help with your little boy if it is needed!! It could be nothing at all, I swear this universe isn’t going to give you something you can’t handle!! X ❤️❤️
Dee Doherty thank you so much for these words. I have been watching your videos, and you are one strong lady. Wishing you all the luck in the world. Xx
Linda McCutcheon you too, hope everything works out ok!! ❤️
I had a mmedulloblastoma (brain cancer) and I have to stay in hospital when I get chemo.
Hi Dee, thank you so much for sharing. At what point did you started telling the people around you like friends and family?
God's mercy and Grace this video is how I told “friends and everyone else” ... my mom phoned my brothers and sister. And I think my siblings called my cousins. I wasn’t able to say it to anyone at the start my self
I love your pjs where did you get them
Ps you are absolutely gorgeous
Sarah Lynch not any more xx and I got the onesie from my mom and dad for Xmas 2017 but it was Penneys / Primark x
Very true the fear is eating us alive. My wife has an appointment with a surgeon and specialist wednesday exactly 1 week. Just want to know what kind, what treatment, what stage. Aarrgghhhh
❤️❤️
Dee, I'm absolutely terrified. I found a relatively large lump in my upper left breast (a good few months ago) and went to the drs recently thinking it's just a cyst. I didnt admit to it for a while because my partner's dad was going through chemo. When I went to the drs it all just happened so fast. He obviously referred me. I had my ultrasound and the consultant said it's likely to be fibroadenoma. That was until he found more lumps (that I couldn't feel) under my arm. By the time I'd had my mammogram and biopsy, the consultant just sat me down and said 'what ever it is we will be able to handle it.' He also said he wasn't able to say what it was. Why the sudden change of heart is getting to me.
On top of this, I am trying to conceive and have been for the past 2 1/2 years to no avail. Last year I was persistently bleedig and it was discovered that I had a really large endometrial polyp. When I had surgery for its removal, my manager was incredibly insensitive about it. My workplace has a policy for sickness of no more than 10days off sick in 12mths. Well due to my crazy bleeding, I felt really ill quite often and incredibly exhausted but didn't really know why. I told that I was expected to come in the day after my surgery despite the fact that I was not to drive for 24hrs after the anaesthetic. Me and anaesthetic do NOT mix! (1 op I had earlier in my life led me to be sick 16 time in one day. I ended up shaking uncontrollably and ended up with a huge anti sickness injection in my thigh.) The manager stated that if I didn't come in I would be put on an absence improvement plan. I was off for 2 weeks 2 days and I purely think that I was off for so long due to the stress. My manager kept harassing me about sick notes not being detailed enough or wrong dates and argued with me about when sick notes expired all whilst I was sick. I got so anxious that I didn't want to leave the house.vi finally mustered he courage to go to the treatment centre where I had the op and the lady I saw there actually physically called my manager to tell him to leave me alone.
I have since come off of this absence improvement plan during the time I've found this lump in my breast. I asked in a one to one meeting, if I end up having surgery, and due to the fact that I've still got 14 sick days in 12mths on my record, would I be put back on this absence improvement plan. It was an instant yes.
I originally wanted to see a doctor about my lump in my breast on a Monday. I called the drs survey, explained my situation and they were amazing. They offered an appt that day at 2pm. Expecting my manager to not authorise it due to such short notice, I felt I had to decline the appt. I sent my manager a message about it and explained that I needed to see the drs on the Thurs that week but that I had to call the drs on the day to get an appt. My manager ignored my message. When I messaged him to ask whether he had received it, he said he was in meetings and asked when the appt was, completely ignoring my explanation in my previous message saying I couldn't get a time until the day. He did not reply. However he replied to an answerphone message that I sent him (as per usual I couldn't get hold of him) about a learner on the course that I was training hurting themselves. (I am a first aid trainer.) In a meeting with my manager, I explained that I was upset with him not responding to my message about seeing the drs. He insisted that I hadn't followed procedure of requesting an appt through this particular system at work. Even though I didn't have a time! I tried to make the whole situation easier for work by choosing a day when I was 'on call' and not training. When we have on call days we have to go to our base venue (my manager is a micro manager) and work there whereas it use to be the case that we worked from home. On the day of the appt I travelled to the opposite side of town to my base venue, waited until the drs opened, called them and got an appt for approx 10:15am, messaged my absent manager and received no reply to inform him, worked a bit, then left for my appt and returned about 11:30. I did my best! But he just threw the policy at me.
When I had my scans and biopsies this Tues just gone and returned to my base venue, my manager asked how it went in passing but clearly didn't have the time of day to listen as he rushed through the corridor. Isn't the decent thing to do is to take me into the office privately??? I just said I need to have another appt for the results next thurs. He told me to put it through the system, dashed of flashing a 🤞 at me. I couldn't be bothered to mention the fact that they'd found more lumps.
With all this going on I don't know what I'm more terrified about. The diagnosis/results next week or the stress from work. I can't handle how my manager made me I feel when I had my polyp removed happening again. Im so stressed out. Asides the fact the trying to conceive I feel that I may as well forget.
I was just told I have breast cancer on 10/5/2018 it just don't feel real to me yet!
Karen Gay no it won’t... there’s a lot of disbelief at the beginning. So sorry to hear you’ve to deal with this! Everything will be ok ❤️ Look after yourself in the coming days.
Thanks
I was diagnosed 4/20/18. Went through surgery, radiation, and now on tamoxifen. Still having problems dealing with this.
Brigette Jones ah it’s very hard!
I’m scared. I’ve felt a lump last month September. It’s been weird, some tenderness in breast and funky feeling in armpit. So my mammogram results on Friday did see something and going to do more tests tomorrow, 4 days later. Then dr starts talking about taking me off estrogen pills I take for ovarian cysts. Sister just made 5 years cancer free. Crap! Just adopted our 2 daughters on Tuesday last week. Double crap.
Edie Boudreaux don’t worry - I have two kids too! It’s all doable ... the important thing is to get the diagnosis!!! You work from there x it is scary, of course! But it will be ok!!
We have 7 kids total and 5 grandkids with another coming in May2019. I don’t need this. I’m so proud of you. Your boys are precious. Much love and prayers to you girlie
Listen flower, I *regularly* go in to full scale meltdown in Tesco (ok, admittedly it’s when my 8 year old is hanging off my legs for a £49.99 Ninja Feckin Turtles single action figure that does NOTHING whilst his 16 year old brother is live streaming to all his mates about how he has theeeee tightest Mum in the world for not buying him the new £54.99 Destiny 2 XBox game) so I wouldn’t even give that a second thought. Mums regularly break down in supermarkets. I’m guessing yours aren’t old enough yet? Oh, you have a whole new world of joy awaiting you! 😂 😂
Fairly Vague haha!