Just over a year ago, my husband had a massive stroke right in front of me and was dead within a minute. He was the love of my life for 23 years and it completely broke me. I have to learn to live again but couldn't see how to go from being in bed 24/7 to being out in the world again. Your video has given me a road map for recovery and I can't thank you enough. You have given me permission to take the first baby steps in the safety and privacy of home. For the first time, I see a future. Thank you so much. I am more grateful than I can ever tell you.
Condolences…..❤…Little by little, the twisty turny path through grief is a painful process, but as a process, it proceeds, look after yourself as you proceed, all the best.
I'm so sorry for your loss and for the traumatic way that it occurred. My heart goes out to you. May you find ease in the midst of your distress. Megan Divine wrote a good book on grief called "It's Ok That You're Not Ok." I recommend the audiobook as it is read by the author. I'll be praying for you and sending a virtual hug. 💙🙏🏼 🤗
Condolences. I can't imagine how hard it to go forward without your person. I take fir granted that my husband will always be here.i see him as my safety net and that is so unhealthy.
I love that you talked about spirituality. I know it's a really touchy subject and I already see someone in the comments that hated it, but I think you did a really good job about presenting it in a "Hey if this is helpful for you, that's awesome, but it's totally okay if not" way. You expressed it as an opinion, not a hard fact, and didn't name any specific faiths. I've personally found spirituality incredibly helpful and I probably wouldn't be here without it. I believe in it wholeheartedly. I already have some nihilistic tendencies, so it's the only thing keeping me from fully leaning into that. And before anyone gets angry with me for saying that, I'm not telling anyone else to do anything or forcing my own beliefs on people. You do you :)
This is actually a very ignorant advice in a time when powers that be are trying to recruit everyone into the new age false religion of the antichrist by promoting various pagan practices such as yogas, meditations, manifestations ( witchcraft) which in the long run lead to destruction. Faith is not something we practice because it serves us. Human beings are meant to serve God and not the other way around. Most modern psychology is rooted in the occult teachings of jewish kabbalah ( satanism) and most famous psychologists such as Jung and Freud were either jews or occultists
The great thing about spirituality is that you don't have to be religious to develop it. You don't have to believe in god or anything of that nature. You can find it in other things that are meaningful to you.
@@vlst8715 if you are practicing spirituality you are engaging with spirits. If it’s outside the Christian religion, you are dealing with fallen spirits
I can barely believe that I tuned while you were n this topic! I’ve heard you over and over, but I kept saying to myself ‘I’ll never get to the stage that I can direct my emotions and fears…it’s just to scary! BUT…I have good news that I want to share with you, in return for all your help! Here it is…I started by getting out of bed and actually getting dressed. Then I made myself at least have breakfast! Now, I have gotten out of bed, dressed and eaten breakfast…and drove myself to the hair dressers once, visited a relative I haven’t seen in ages…today, I went to the dentist…just a cleaning..but it wasn’t too bad (just a little bit claustrophobia)! I wonder what I’ll do tomorrow? Maybe I’ll start trying to catch up on chores! I owe you great thanks for getting me started!
I had SO MUCH psychotherapy and was drowning... which led me as a last resort to the humility to seek God with mindful intention to figure out how to do life His way. What followed is how I've found the first peace I can rely on. Thinking of the many hundreds of hours, over the course of nearly 30 years, spent going to therapy once a week to do nothing but talk about my current anxious situation. It felt like little more than treading water clinging to a floating ring... no program, no progression. When I asked for help with aiming for important goals the therapists pacified me with reasons why I was okay where I was (I wasn't). If I thought I could find a program that was more than somebody babysitting my anxiety I would try again.
I'm so sorry you experienced gaslighting by your therapists telling you you were okay when you were saying you were not. That is all to common, sadly. That is a form of malfeasance, in my opinion.
The last thing you need is the person you're seeking help from downplaying the problems that plague you. I've experienced some of that myself. I think the issue can be that the therapist is approaching it from a healthier/better place rather than putting themselves where you are.
It's hard to find right therapist for your own problem at the right time. I visited one psychologist, it was great, I was improving, I was better of with his help. And then illness striked, suddenly all my life was in ruin. So I reach out to him to help me, but he didn't know what to do. Sometimes different problems need different psychologists. If you don't get the help, try to seek another one. If you want to achieve goals and not work on your inner world, you may try coaches. They more about defining goals, planning and executing.
I’m 61 and my unfinished bridge collapsed again 2 months ago. I’m going to listen to what you have to say! Edit: THANK you for mentioning the “Why” facet.
Because I've always felt separate from others, like a perpetual outsider, I've never had any ideas how to fix it. This gives me the first framework in how I might be able to do it. And often my faith has been the only thing keeping me this side of the pavement. Others might minimize its value, but I won't.
2pm, Dr. Scott, I have to say , I never heard any therapist, psychologist, primary Doctor. Ever talk the way you do. You are good at your words. Also you went through the Depression and Anxiety. I've been struggling with Anxiety Panic attacks, in High School. I had to stop going. I would have panic attacks in school, going from class to class..I couldn't make sense of the Panic attacks. Before this happened, I was a nervous child , shy. Was very close to my mom and my dad to my eyes was like a monster to me, until 29 years old. I'm 71 now , have had therapy for 25 plus years. At one point I had Agoraphobia. That happened trying to get off Valium. Idid. But I found myself, not being able to go out. This was 1 1/2 years. Iwas put on meds for Depression and Anxiety and Panic attacks. 1984 or so... I was able to go out, as long as I took my meds, and it was only a short distances. I lived in a small world . I had therapy for a long time. I stopped to move away, because the house I lived in was being sold . My family left too. My mother, told me to come near her in Florida,in 2014. I took the train. Wasn't that bad. In 2020 ,Covid hit us and it was frightening. I stopped going out. It was constantly on my mind. Plus I have physical issues. Problems with my spine and difficulty walking because of my back. I've been in my house since April 2021. Im in a invisible prison, and I don't know how to get out.. Asking you if you have any advice for me. Thank you and God bless you.
Hi. I want to tell you that you’re not alone with feeling isolated since Covid. I’m a nurse who retired in 2016 because of medical conditions. While I participated in some of the vaccination campaigns during the pandemic, I was still considered a vulnerable population because of my medical conditions, so I was cut off from a lot of my previous social interactions and friends. I grew up in an alcoholic household, my father and grandfather committed suicide, I was a homeless teen in Los Angeles. I got sober at age 21 and got my life together and became a nurse. My career was spent helping patients who had chronic, complex illnesses and histories of mental health issues and addiction. That said, I suffered through many years of an eating disorder and anxiety in my own sobriety. I would always “push through it” and I saw a famous Los Angeles psychiatrist who ended up becoming more like a father figure to me than a therapist. He ended up being very co-dependent and it was an unhealthy relationship. I also unsuccessfully tried medication and finally I went to a Hindu temple where I found a meditation group that I loved. During Covid it was shut down and I haven’t been back to the group as often as I used to go. My relationship with my higher power has suffered since covid and I feel like the childhood feelings of being in an unsafe world have taken over my life to a certain extent. Even my wonderful family can’t pull me out of the paralysis most of the time. I am, however, one of those people who has overcome addiction, homelessness, depression, and a serious physical medical condition that nearly took my life, so I keep telling myself that God has my back. I do believe that God puts people in your life that help you get through things, and always keep your eyes open for those angels he sends to help you through the hard times. Good luck and God bless. ❤
You should probably read Dr, Nick Wignall's articles. I highly recommend searching for his blog. Search for "Nick Wignall panic attack" or "Nick Wignall anxiety"
@Cwgrlup Wow,I so identify w your story,and I too like the lady above have become agoraphobia,however it didn't occur to Me that it could have something to do w coming off Clonazapam! My story quite complex tho I am addictive,gained a lot of weight trying other meds like Quiatepine, etc. Relapsed on drugs n alcohol,been trying to stop the one night weekly Binge,on my own w Zoom AA mtgs and now,going to try again to navigate through the " system" to see if I can go to safe supportive recovery for 3 months,waiting lists everywhere so pray,pray,pray. I'm 62 btw. Born in LA yet living in Vancouver Canada for a long time. Peace.♡♡♡
@Cwgrlup OH yea,I do believe Meditation is really really helpful,I don't last that long,I find Eckhardht Tolle presence n daily free videos he's putting out really helpful.So my goal is to increase practice 2x a day.
Obligatory disclaimer that I'm not a professional, but if you feel like you're in an invisible prison that you're not able to physically leave, perhaps finding more ways to connect with others online could help ease the isolation & leave you feeling like you're more connected to the people in the world around you. Perhaps there's an art or a hobby you've had interest in before, but never quite got around to pursuing. There are lots of vibrant online communities for every interest - archery; sculpting; poetry-reading & interpretation; birdwatching; botany; wildlife rehabilitation; you name it, there's someone out there who's super into it. You can connect with people regardless of zip code, or you can find out what people are doing closer to your area. There might be local groups for craftwork where you can sit together with other people while working on some art, or there might be Online groups where people post pictures of plants & animals they've identified. You might find comfort in reading "happy news of the day" blogs, or even join a group who discusses daily crossword puzzles or solves Sudoku together. All I mean to say is this: if you can narrow down a topic that interests you, and seek out a community of other people who Also have that interest, then talking to those people about your shared interest, either online or offline, could help make you feel more connected & less invisible in the world. Best wishes to you :)
Thank you for sharing your faith with us and how important it is. I love how down to earth you are. Everyone has their own opinions but it's nice to know where you stand, and what has helped you! 🙏🙌🙏
The three steps of the bio-psycho-social model Dr. Scott outlined are also covered in dialectical behavior therapy. DBT includes units on physical health and well-being, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, challenging negative thoughts, and interpersonal skills. It also includes a spiritual element. For people losing their minds over Dr. Scott talking about his spiritual beliefs, have you ever been in group therapy or a 12-step program? They often involve a spiritual component. Dr. Scott isn't forcing his beliefs on anyone. He's simply talking about his personal experience and what works for him. Whatever you believe or don't believe, that's okay. If you have faith and practice a religion that helps you, that's okay. If you're staunchly anti-religion, that's okay. If you're an atheist, that's okay. The point is to figure out what your core beliefs and values are and try to live your life accordingly. That might involve finding an amorphous, ambiguous "Higher Power" to help you define your life's purpose, whether that's a deity, the soul, love, basic human goodness, or sublime experiences. I'm a staunchly anti-religious metaphysical woo-woo believer, but I respect others' beliefs. Even if you are a hardcore nihilist, you might need to contemplate emptiness and scream into the Void for 15 minutes a day. Find what works for you and do it.
Beautifully said. That's my biggest problem. Not establishing and committing to my own core beliefs and practicing them. ❤ all because I'm lazy about tge practice of it. Joining others like minded and living out what I claim to love. I fail to show love to myself and others. Really feels so lazy.
I quit alcohol four years ago, and my social life is completely collapsed😂 i’m still working on that bridge, but can never seem to finish it. Now that I’m sober, I seem to hate and despise people and get annoyed with them a lot more but at the same time, I’m lonely, so there’s a dilemma all in itself! Lol.
Join something. Habitat for humanity, bicycle group, take a class at a community college, take garden center class on growing small gardens, or woodworking, or music. You will find a new non-alcoholic tribe.
I think you’re absolutely right. I think spirituality is the final step. In school we were taught you have to figure out who you are going to be. What’s your purpose. You have until you are a senior in high school to figure it out. Reality for me is I needed to experience life. I needed to learn a few life lessons. I needed PMDD, OCD, PTSD, EPI, in order to learn about me and the world. To learn what I am strong at and weak at. To learn who’s there for me who to trust and what safety and growth means to me. Then I found my purpose. My true meaning of life and how to cope and manage joy. I think we as a species it takes around 40-50 years to truly know life. To understand me and where I fit in. Thanks to all who read my post. We all need a little life tragedy to understand planet earth and the species that live here and to know our selves.
I am now feelling capable of 'crossing the bridge'. Underestimating time required for tasks - check. I agree that consistency over time will build unshakeable (good) habits. Coming off of a near total mental breakdown...I'm working toward getting my new habits firmly in place. I can't wait to have to choose not to do something! Thankfully, I have already made good progress with emotional stability and resiliency. So much time wasted. Fine, I'll take it one step at a time. I get it - no more falling down back to zero. I recently lost a friend because she projected her issues onto me; treated me terribly, and destroyed my trust in her. For me, it's a new experience to be able to finally cross that bridge...first time. Spirituality is the glue that has held me together since early childhood. Good video, as usual!
Maslow wasn’t wrong about the hierarchy! I love how David Hawkins took Maslow’s hierarchy and overlaid the spectrum of consciousness to create the Map of Consciousness. Great for anyone who has always felt deeply called to spiritual work. I no longer have a desire to build a bridge and return to function in the material world. There comes a time when the spiritual path leads us away to wander in the desert and address the shadow. Forcing ourselves back into the world isn’t always the answer.
Another home run! Exactly what I needed to hear and exactly what I’m experiencing, and those solutions have already begun to migrate into my everyday reality. Thank you for the validation, the confirmation and the heads up.! Do you know that you will never know the magnitude of healing your videos are making across the spectrum of human experiences all around the world So, when that critical voice starts coming in your head, if you get to read this message, remember the good is going to continue rippling through our lives, and the lives of the people that we positively impact, and that your contribution was significant in that regard
The spirituality part was the most important one for me. I have always searched for greater meaning in my life. Why am I here versus why did both my brothers die of Muscular Dystrophy? Thank you.
I'm very sorry about your brothers passing from MD. Muscular Dystrophy is a gene mutation that is inherited. You are female with 2 X chromosomes (one X from each of your parents). Your brothers were *both* males with 1 X chromosome (from mom) and 1 Y chromosome (from dad). This makes males more vulnerable since they do NOT have 2 different (X) chromosomes (it's like having a 2nd back up car if your car breaks down). That is a very crude, oversimplified explanation of a more complex explanation that requires more knowledge foundation before it can be understood, but I hope this helps explain why your male/brothers were more genetically vulnerable than you since you have 2 X chromosomes, which offers you more protection (or at least it does in most cases, unless BOTH parents carry the gene mutation in their DNA, which is less common but can happen). Wishing you much healing along your path~
@leth2753 I studied DMD my whole life. I am a carrier, but I had the pre- natal testing to determine the sex of my daughter. I had her. My daughter had tests to determine if her baby would have DMD. He didn't. She had him. I probably know almost as much as the scientists do. Both my brothers did science projects on their own disease. So I appreciate your explanation, but I already knew so much at age 8. Mom was almost a doctor and she understood it all to well. I wish I never heard of Duchenne, but it ruined many lives in my family.
Thank you. It’s strange how you put out subjects that are so actual in my life. I’ve been thinking about exactly this whole day. I have felt an urge and stress about the social part. And I almost rushed into it, although not biology or psychology been settled for me. But today there have been a conflict inside of me, and I have said to myself I need to have trust in the process. That I will feel better another day. And I have managed to actually not do something in a rush today. I wanted to write something to a new date but I know I’m not going to be able to handle that right now. So this video is a confirmation that I’m on the right path and I need to give myself some time. I felt better today and wanted to walk over the bridge right away, but it’s good to hear that maybe I’m not fully matured to do it. So it feels good now that I didn’t send a message. 💕
Thank you so much for sharing your faith. I absolutely love how humble and down to earth you are, and actually thought how nice it would be to include faith as part of recovery and therapy in your videos. Faith is definitely the foundation of my own therapy as well. Kudos to you for your sensitive approach to the subject and your honesty...very refreshing 🙂
I'm glad you finally spoke about spirituality. I totally agree as it has improved my mental health and gratefulness that I didn't do something to harm myself.
I'm desperate for hope but never had a normal. I will listen because just listening feels better than the moment to moment existential angst which I've been in all my life in one way or another.
If it used to be something like either 4 or 14hrs of sleep with a meal every 2-4days. Powered by caffeine, nicotine, and carbs.. Regular 5hrs every day + atleast 1meal a day is definitely a step towards self care
This has been one of THE most timely and useful mental heath video I have seen in forever. I thought I’d hurt someone if a “ support group” was suggested again. I needed to know ‘build’ a foundation first to then take the necessary steps forward. Thank you so so much for this talk/advice/guidance! I’m recompose to those I care about the much 🙏
I get tired of re-building this bridge (must've been given faulty blueprints, lol!). And recently, I've been preoccupied with spirituality and how ppl manage to draw strength and comfort from it. Like you, I have a tendency toward nihilistic thinking and have been thinking that having some kind of faith would be helpful. Unfortunately, I can't force my brain to believe in something. Not sure how one gets past that hurdle.
Take from these thoughts what you will, but here's how I see it. I grew up in a certain religion and I'm completely committed to it. I've also ALWAYS felt like an outsider in every group, my church community included. I often find it hard to relate to them and unfortunately, a lot of them have a bad case of toxic positivity. They're nice but they think everything will be magically fixed through prayer, if you're faithful enough. But that's not how it works. I thought for the longest time that I just wasn't good enough. That no matter how hard I try, I won't have enough faith to make it to heaven. But it turns out, I have a couple of anxiety disorders and major depressive disorder, among other things. I CAN'T just make myself believe something and never question it or worry about it again because my brain is wired to worry about things. I analyze every facet of my religion all the time. I also can't expect to ALWAYS feel the peace and comfort and presence of God because I experience near-constant anhedonia. I believe that God is perfect, but our ability to feel His presence is not. One of my favorite quotes (although I totally forgot where it came from haha) is "Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things. To have faith is to hope for things which are not seen, which are true." So I don't always need to be perfectly sure of everything. I believe that if I'm trying my best, God recognizes that effort and that's enough. I believe He understands my brain chemistry and accounts for that. So I can't tell you what to believe, but I can tell you that it is okay to not believe or understand everything right away. It's not about forcing yourself to believe in something. What matters is that you take a step, even if you're not sure about it; trust the process. I pray through the cynical and nihilistic thoughts and do my best to trust that He's listening. I hope this was helpful, or at least interesting. Good luck on your journey :)
@lailanitukuafu I appreciate you for taking the time to write, and it was an interesting read. As you said, it is a journey, and I can only see where it leads me. Thank you for your kind words.
Listened today till the end - The weird thing for me with spirituality is, it works regardless which Pantheon you choose. Like a placebo - and I mean it in a good way. When I traveled to Norway in 2016 I just for fun made up a story in my mind about the Nordic gods and before that I felt a connection to the ravens. It works to get this inner dialogue to "entities", even knowing you made them up yourself. I am today still in "contact" to those and like my ravens around here when they "kra". I still know I made it all up BUT even knowing I can talk this way to my undefinable inner self that seems more connected to reality that our conscious part is. Hope that makes sense.
Your comment reminds me very much of the time I took a seminar-style class on the psychology of religion, spirituality, and meaningfulness. It was incredibly interesting, and sort of aligns with what you’ve spoken to here. Our brains, in some way, are sort of “primed” to be receptive to religion/spirituality or ideas tangential to that (such as looking for meaning in our lives, etc). It is all somewhat parallel to how our brain is primed to learn a language, but not any specific one. In that same vein, our brain also seems primed to be receptive to religious or religious-like beliefs, though not necessarily to any specific religion.
@@Amber24426 in my experience we are not primed for religion - it seems to me the deeper secret is: we are primed to stories. That's because lies have it so easy against the truth. A good story is we are living for, we go to the cinema, read in the internet the mass of bs... Because believing is so easy, just listen, finding the truth is a more harder way, where you have to think for your self.
@@Amber24426 On top of my story theory, I think meaning is created by HOW you deliver the story. e.g. that's why Trump can farm all the narrow minded people. With a simple story you get simple people.
@@skjelm6363 humans definitely like to weave things into stories if it is at all possible- that is what helps us make sense of our world and our place in it.
It's interesting. For me, the idea of an unanswerable why is far more comforting than the alternative: that something would have had deliberately created the universe with such malevolent purpose in mind. But everyone's journey is different.
Yess I love this! I actually think I’m pretty decent on the psychological component and would be fine on the social component if I could just get the biological squared away. But I actually think the first thing that needs to get taken care of for most adults is the financial. Everything else automatically falls apart when you are worrying about meeting your basic needs financially and being a burden to others
I love how you just threw the whole spirituality aspect at us out of left field 😀I jest, but I actually relate very deeply to what you said. I've been a wonderer & questioner since I was about 14 years old, which is (not) coincidentally when the first wave of heavy depression hit me. Needless to say, it's made me feel like an outsider for most of my life. It's only in the last few years that I have really begun to look deeply into myself and find some answers for a lot of "why's" about my life. It took me a long time to get to this point in my life, which of course has a 1,000 questions attached to it in itself lol, and I'm still working out what it means to me, but my spiritual life is a part of my everyday now. While I was always vaguely spiritual, I've become a person who prays and communes with the mystery of it all daily, and I never would have saw that coming even a few years ago. Spirituality is, and is meant to be, a very personal and often unexplainable thing. Thanks again, Dr. Scott!
There's spirituality only in humanity. So, if you're lost without a spitual focus, focus on the beings that built it. Nothing above or below. It's just us.
I like the way you put that. Spirituality to me is just the experiences we might describe as profound or moving. It’s cluttered and messy as a word as far as usage goes, so I tend not to use it. But yeah, nothing supernatural necessary 😊
It's funny how this video appeared in my suggestions right after I worked for four days just journaling down to gain clarity on what my boundaries should be like. And the first and foremost ones are related to body and my physical health. Taking care of hunger, hygiene, some amount of exercise and so on. Because they all affect how I feel that day, how much I ruminate and criticize myself. I told myself that I should go about life like I am at kindergarten level now. I just need to learn and master the alphabet. I don't need to worry about mastering quantum mechanics. Just focus on learning the fundamentals like the sweet little inner child that I am inside without blaming her for not being an expert in advanced, abstract concepts of life. Just focus on learning physical self-care for now until it becomes automatic. 🥰💗
Well now you did it! LOL. I don't think spirituality is a touchy subject and it should be a more openly discussed topic. Many people who have experienced a lot of suffering and traumas, find god, source, the universe, whatever you want to call it. I was an atheist until 4 years ago. Now I pray, meditate, and my life is completely different , in a wonderfully beautiful way. Having faith and knowing why you are here is a game changer. I can't tell you why you are here, only you can. But it seems that you were given the drive, gift and service of helping thousands of suffering people all over the world. You are changing every persons life who tunes into you, for the better. They in turn will change and effect others lives. We are all connected and I for one am happy to have found you and I couldn't be more grateful that you chose this path and to share it with others. On that note, depending on how far you want to go, maybe a spiritual channel, or once a week videos discussing the topic? Just putting a bug in your ear! Thank you again for your service!
So glad you addressed FAITH, SPIRITUAL ASPECT OF LIFE! I was raised in the Cherokee Way, where everything has a spirit & is deserving of Respect. Basically, a human's goal (while in this plain) is to GROW THEIR SPIRIT. Pretty dang simple❤❤
I am 70 years old, and I am just beginning to feel like I have a bit of understanding and practices that help me make it through from one day to the next. I am frustrated that it has taken me so long to get here, but I'm glad I don't feel like I'm hanging by my fingertips.
Recently read an interesting book called The hunter-gatherers guide to the 21st century. It talked about how like it or not, our brains and bodies are still adapted to be hunter gatherers. There was a whole chapter about spirituality from an evolutionary perspective. Whether you believe in a non-physical world or not, spirituality is still very much part of being human across cultures and throughout time.
By spirituality you mean paganism such as hinduism or Buddhism? Christians do not believe in evolution nor practice yogas , meditations and other pagan practices which are heavily promoted to masses as ‘spirituality’ without discussing what kind of spirits these naive people are engaging with
I loved this video although I felt slightly triggered that my biggest issues are still my social interactions, which are awkward, because I stil harbour maladaptive belief systems. Dang. But I cannot understate the biological one. I got severely overweight during my undergrad studies, so much so that I couldnt sleep through anymore, that I had constant joint pain all over and I could barely even carry my weight around. But I remembered, that I loved doing sports as a teen. There were so many times where I just sat there crying, lonely in bed, that I will never be able to get out of this and I finally ruined my life. This is some years ago already, but then I just started slowly. I dont want to make this endlessly, but I have lost over 120 pounds, I started slow but I am now even able to run a half-marathon again. No matter how bad my days get, I know, that when I am out running, I will feel awesome afterwards. Because it is so physically exhasuting, and surprisingly also that mental sharpness while running. I think I have not drank a cola in two years now. When I am doing groceries, its it completely off my radar, the same with chips. I do not feel guilty or shameful, when I sometimes still emotional binge-eat, because I know, that I can only fall so far back. There is magic in doing things slow. But yeah, working on social awkwardness is not so straight forward as having your biological needs met. I know I need to lift some of that pressure and start by just being more comfortable around others, rather than being the best conversationalist or what not. Good thing is, you have lots of great advise, Scott. I think I have to rewatch some videos. 🙂 Greetings - To
I have recently discovered your channel, and I have received more value from just one video of yours than most I’ve watched over the past decade related to these topics to aid in my journey. I want to say so much more, and truthfully, I want to shout it from the rooftops. You are so important, I cannot emphasize that enough. I know there are others like myself who probably have not felt like there is any hope, but remain searching for content to supplement their lives with mental illness. You’ve already changed my life by touching on the topics with the approach that you do. Like I said, I could go on and on, but I’m actually motivated to start (so many times I’ve said that.. it just wasn’t a true “start” because the things I was listening to were not laid out in any way close to how you do)… anyway, Dr. Scott- thank you, sincerely from my heart. 🙏
I'm 11 minutes into this video and I'm already thinking this sounds like a decade of work for whoever would take this process on. I can't even imagine someone beginning to approach what sounds like a monumental undertaking, especially after the pandemic. Yet, I found this video so rich in valuable information that I watched it twice to make sure I took everything in (and wow, is the education for psychologists woefully inadequate to prepare you to truly help those who seek help from you, and especially people with Cluster B disorders who do considerable harm to others and have also been harmed themselves-also a tangent) I am nowhere close to being an all-or-nothing thinker, and I'm definitely not a catastrophizing thinker, but after the first half of this video, I can only try and imagine how this sounds to those individuals who DO have those thought patterns. I can see compliance w/meds being easy, if the meds are *both* available and affordable. I can see the spirituality being easy, even though I'm an atheist-leaning agnostic. I can see some mild-to-severe difficulty today (Feb 2024) accomplishing some of these. I say this as someone who started competing athletically at the age of 8 in my first of multiple sports. I started training daily with coaching (5- days a week) at the age of 12, pretty much year round, with training overlapping from sport to sport. On top of those sports at school, I was also a cheerleader and competitive gymnast at a private gymnastics club AFTER school and on weekends. For years, I was an avid snowboarder, yoga teacher, roller blader, scuba diver, etc. So, I understand discipline, commitment, and that physical fitness is a lifestyle, not a temporary bootcamp. It was a lifestyle I thoroughly loved. Notice that is past tense. We not only still have CoVid variants circulating, but also RSV, the flu, and now a measles outbreak to contend with indoors and *most especially in gym environments* where everyone is huffing and puffing all those viral particles out of their mouths all over everything. The live measles virus, alone, can hang in the air of a room for up to 8 hours. I learned this from my physicians AFTER having contracted it. I had multiple measles vaccines over my lifetime and I still came down with w/measles back in 2015, after swimming in an outdoor pool at a college campus in Santa Monica, CA *once* during a brief visit. It took me almost a year to fully get over it and that was how bad it was with being *vaccinated*. I can't remember most of the first 6 months of having the measles. Unlike me, most people don't live in California where they can get outside (most of the year) and exercise, albeit rather dangerous to do so in the coastal cities for the last few years w/crime rates skyrocketing. I know I gained 35 pounds over the last 4 years becaudse of these factors that have *severely hampered any form of regular exercise* including getting outside to exercise. Going into a gym is out of the question (millions and millions of people here living in close proximity is ill advised, to say the least) and has been for the last 4 years (because millions and millions of people live/work/breathe in close proximity to one another). Heck, we still *willingly* wear masks inside because we are so densely populated. Go outside, and you are a sitting duck for any criminal who wants a new cell phone (or if you're foolish enough to wear stark white airpods that can be seen from a quarter-mile away). Leave your car at a trail head? Expect to find it broken into when you return. I'm not an anxious person, except around predators. I've traveled the world, alone and for business, to countries (where I do not speak the language) for a month at a time. I've studied abroad twice. I surf (badly), scuba dive (plenty of sharks), lived in Manhattan for 10 years, and live in Oakland, CA (very dangerous) now. I cannot imagine having to tackle what you are suggesting at this point in time because it simply is not safe to do any of it unless you have your own home gym, and where I live that's for those who earn $800K or more per annum. Keeping the same schedule where I live, including the multi-million dollar neighborhoods, will get you robbed, further traumatized, and maybe killled (quickly, if you're fortunate). The one thing law enforcement tells us NOT to do it is to keep a schedule so criminals can predictably target you (or your home). I would love nothing more than to go back to the gym, to start weight training again 3-4 days a week, going to yoga 3-4 days a week, and keeping a predictable, relaxing, easy-to-fall-into life-routine, but that simply isn't possible where I live (and my city isn't unique, sadly...friends in Manhattan/Brooklyn report the same). Heck, we can't even park our cars at the gym safely, but if we leave them home and unattended, we come back to busted windows and/or missing catalytic converters (yes, in broad daylight). That doesn't include all the robberies AT the actual gym (including gym lockers, cars, etc). The safest form of physical activity is to drive away from the cities in California to go snowboarding in the mountains, and that isn't practical because lift tickets, alone, are over $100/day, not including gas, hotel, & food. Last year, the snow was so high (over the chimneys) that roofs of multiple commercial buildings caved in and some died from being suffocated inside their home from snow. It's never been like this in my lifetime. I'm 56. Friends in fly-over states are working out inside their much larger homes, swimming in the backyard pools, etc. It is very different for people living in NY/LA/SF/Chicago and smaller cities like Atlanta, St. Louis, Birmingham, Baltimore and Cleveland aren't much better (but they do have much largers homes to exercise in). ...and I haven't even gotten to the part about how many 10s of thousands of dollars this lengthy, protracted therapy is going to cost IF...and only if...there comes a time when you can regularly go to a gym when the entire globe isn't riddled with *multiple, circulating* airborne viruses, a couple of which can take you out of work for 6 months to a year (or longer, if you come down w/long CoVid), and you do not ever want to come down with the measles. It is very likely you will be the sickest you have ever been or ever imagined you could be without dying (and that is the version of lesser lethality you develop if you're vaccinated). It is a lengthy recovery process back to 100% health. I can only guess your gym has 1/4 the membership population of the average gym in a larger or medium-sized city. The sleep hygiene will likely be doable for anyone who is single/not sleeping w/a partner (or pet), doesn't have infants/toddlers/young children, works the same "shift" daily, doesn't work nights or alternating shifts or nights, isn't on call, doesn't have to work more than 1 job, and isn't over 60 and needing to get up more than once per night to go to the bathroom. That pretty much excludes all first responders, all parents of young children (who can't afford a full-time overnight nanny), all med students, all commercial pilots/flight attendants, most people working in retail and/or food service, and pretty much anyone else who has a job that requires them to have varying schedules daily/weekly, and especially anyone on-call. Healthy food will be possible for those who can afford it, which will become less likely month after month, as they shell out hundreds and hundreds of dollars for weekly therapy. By the time you get to the social aspect, they won't have any money left to socialize, and probably won't have any retirement savings, either. They probably will have had to default on their student loans, too, if they have them. Purpose in life will probably do more for people than anything else and, through that, they might be able to connect w/other like-minded (hopefully), psychologically healthy people. While I really respect you for telling your story, as it's a great reference, you also didn't take this on at the close of a pandemic and all the trauma that has happened during this pandemic, on top of what people were already dealing with before it. I have to say, I'm *relieved* that I don't have to listen to this video...and also face the monumental and financially decimating and protracted therapy you are talking about. smh I'm heartbroken for people who believe they have to financially devestate themselves, all to alleviate their anxiety and depression. smh People are better off going to a skilled hypnotherapist FIRST so they can significantly lessen this protracted process you are mentioning here. I could not agree more that we all need adequate, restful sleep and a healthy diet, but a small percentage will be able to afford this lengthy protracted process you are discussing, and especially if they're already paying monthly for insurance coverage, as it is. This is for the incredibly affluent who have the ongoing resources to spend several years doing this. You do a really incredible job NOT over-promising and really managing expectations that this is a marathon and NOT a sprint, and how critical the healthy foundation is before you build another level or two on top of it. That said, most people with anxiety can be helped faster and more effectively with hypnotherapy for a fraction of the cost and time, if they get a qualified, empathic hypnotherapist (and not some stage freak exploiting their vulnerability).
Speaking for myself personally, it was almost exactly a decade of work! Although I did it completely by myself, I'm sure that timeline could be compressed with good help. But don't trick yourself into thinking it's not worth it because of how long it will take, "healing" is not a binary process, you will gradually feel and function better (in a nonlinear fashion) along the way.
Your videos are so valuable to me. Thanks so much for your input. I'm too poor for a real doctor, so I try self help via books, friends, RUclips videos. Even AA now and again for human connection. Anyway, thanks.
Been on the healing journey for decades. It wasn't until Jesus that things made sense for me. ❤ It's so lovely to see someone from the mental health space bring up spirituality.
He is literally our Rock- The foundation for everything in our lives. None of this matters without faith for a greater purpose. When did it become so bad to share faith, hope and love with others? I believe we would have less anxiety if we weren’t ‘Shamed’ for being Christians… Ya know the one faith that is attacked without reason. it’s the one that promotes healing, salvation, grace, mercy and forgiveness for all who believe in Jesus. It’s free will to believe in whatever you want. Work out your own salvation before allowing your own fears of eternity to overtake you. Faith is as important as oxygen.
Spirituality: doesn't have to involve a religion or a deity character. It's enough to have a reason for the world, an ethos for behavior, a motivation for interacting _respectfully_ with the living things. It's possible to do, and it's the difference between building your bridge pilings on top of bedrock or setting them into sand.
It's Maslow's hierarchy through and through. Figure out food and sleep, safety, housing. Then you can figure out finances, job stuff. People wonder why they don't feel like doing hobbies or spending time with people, but they literally don't feel safe or comfortable enough to have leftover energy to do so. Follow Maslow's hierarchy. Cover the basics first.
Hi again, I feel like I’m coming back here from time to time. It’s like I’m bouncing in and out of this. And when I’m in the phase where I take care of my body, this video comes back to my mind. Growing up with parents never seeing my needs, it’s like I’m hardwired with the same in me. I continue to fail looking out for my needs and try to do the other steps before, and fail there too. And then ”fall down” to or realise I need to listen to myself. What my body is feeling. ❤️ and I think this video maybe help me reminding myself that this is actually the way to go. That my needs are the most important thing and the first step. That there is no fast line/track. I hope I will continue to listen to my body more and more and that it becomes natural for me.
Thank you so much for this issue, dear Doctor Eilers! I appreciate both the 1-2-3 part and 4! Thank you for your readiness to share both things you have clear description for, as well as things you still find either vague or very personal. Anxiety you used to experience and this kind of bravery in present also give me as a listener a firm hope that I will succeed if I am consistent🙌
This takes time. But your work genuinely works. Not everyone is as "put together" and sometimes we slide backwards, I practice being patient. I'm not the best at patience and consciously changing habitual thoughts, difficult
I’ve been reaching out to “god” again lately. I kinda can’t find any other way. But most of my friends are atheists and my family is catholic. So the middle ground is tough. But I’m keeping it private too. It’s probably the best.
He's not necessarily talking about the Jesus religions. Or religion at all. Spirituality is not the same as following established dogmas. I consider myself a spiritual person because I don't belong to an organized religion.
@@alexiswinter6948 Dr Scott was talking about his faith, and how it helps him. He didn't state more because he is a controversial subject for some. You're entitled to believe whatever you would like, just as I am, why not try Jesus himself and not a religion? I don't belong to any "Set" religion, however I do put my faith in God and Jesus, and that has helped myself and many others here. God bless you!
Another great video. I also really loved how you brought spirituality into the picture. Risky move but honesty seems to be in your general wheelhouse. Don’t get me wrong - I’m not a religious person…but you don’t need to be religious to be spiritual. My own psychologist is extremely spiritual and my most recent EMDR session ended in a downright unexpected, spiritual way. Side note: EMDR- what an absolutely mind boggling experience! How can it heal 35 years of trauma in 2 freaking sessions is beyond me! But I digress…I found the way you broke the approach down into the 3 steps to be practical and easy to follow. I’ve followed quite a few of your suggestions and overall have improved my mental health much more than I expected. However I did recently attempt to give up my nightly glass of wine only to find the detrimental effects I felt far outweighed any benefits…minimisation will have to suffice at this juncture. I look forward to your next video.
Thanks, Dr. Scott. It all made sense to me. It is very hard to not want to go faster, but after all these years of struggling, I'm realizing I can only do so much at a time. That's why I'm only about halfway through your book. The other thing you're working on sounds interesting, too. My spirituality has been on a continuum since my teens, but I haven't lost it altogether. Mine may not look like most people's, but I do think it's important. ✌️
thanks for this framework, it's giving me a lot of clarity but also a lot of hope, cause I keep going back and forth the bio and psycho aspects while really yearning for more social stuff, never really establishing firm enough foundation for both. The last part about spirituality is also very important cause I also have that nihilistic voice in my head doing the sarcastic clap. I think the purpose aspect puts everything into perspective and gives me the fuel I need to establish those bio and psycho aspects. Thank you!
I hope this doesn't sound too negative but it's my experience. My brain broke in October last year. It was a very deep & scary period that I'm only recently starting to emerge from. I'd say it was one of my worst bouts of poor mental health yet, due in part to the fact I couldn't (& I do mean couldn't), get to the mat for my daily yoga. My diet also went to shit. I'd built the habit since 2019 & only missed a very rare day here & there. Practiced through depression, anxiety, injuries & illness. But this last time I just couldn't, even if someone's life had depended on it. It totally threw me because I thought it was ingrained. Instilled, like you alluded to in point 1. My 'thing' was daily yoga & it all crumbled away cause I was so physically & mentally wrung out. I'm not going to ask how long you think it takes cause I don't want to feel even more demotivated (& I'm sure it's very individual) but for me at least, it seems habits can be toppled, which makes the whole process of striving for better mental health seem even more daunting & unattainable. I'm glad you found faith helped you & I get your existential questions all too well. Would you say that spirituality could be interchangeable with finding purpose or meaning in life for people who aren't religious? A cause greater than yourself? I hope so 💜
It sounds like you’ve been sifting through a lot- do you have any means of social support? I left a comment elsewhere on this video, but I do truly think (from my own anecdotal experience, at least) that it can be almost impossibly difficult to sort out managing our physical needs when we have little to no quality social ties in our life. While I think it makes sense not to focus too heavily on building relationships when one’s physical foundation is still in shambles, I think it is important to feel that you are loved or cared for in some capacity by another person(s)… I have found this to make all the difference in my own life- for to feel nurtured in some way by others inspires me to want to nurture myself, to tend to myself with the same compassion as I have received from someone else. I wish you well in navigating this difficult time in your life.
So helpful. And I appreciate you talking about spirituality because that’s the piece that has brought me full circle during my intense healing journey these past 5 years. Your content and delivery is remarkable. Thank you! 🙏🏼
This is exactly what i needed to watch today. Thank you! I just ordered your audible book and going to listen to it. Appreciate your work and thoughts.
Yes, spirituality, PLEASE! I have had that definitely in place for several years, but I am still interested in how you think it relates to the rest of this!😊
I really appreciate your videos. I watch them often. They have really helped me understand that there is a way to overcome. I love your book! I first bought it in paper back, then quickly purchased it in hardback. Looking forward to your workbook release. I do wonder…. Dr.Scott… are you a Twenty One Pilot fan?? I am a huge fan of TØP and wanted to share that you both have the same goal… to help people with Mental Health. You both are so inspiring to so many. I hope you see this. If you don’t listen to them, I hope you give them a listen. I believe you will relate and also be inspired. Thanks for all you do! 🧡🍀
Thankyou. That was absolutely spot on and provided the nuggets of info that were missing. So to summarise - focus on 1.nutrition 2.psychology 3.social 4.God/meaning outside ourself Actually we cant not be social right but certainly helping others whenever and however , being with family, old people, children and animals and nature all really good. I think you meant partnering up, yeah maybe its wise to put that on pause. The “biological” is crucial and am impressed you have it as no.1 where it belongs coz this will improve all the rest. Superb!
Reinforced what I've experienced to be true about biologics, therapy, and spirituality. Giving me a good excuse to procrastinate trying to make new friends though!😉
Can you please make a video on faith and spirituality? I miss the days where I could actually believe in something, but I am full of doubt, and I am far too aware that I would be tricking myself into believing that there is some kind of purpose if I just started believing some kind of explanation, that justifies existence and all of these efforts towards improvement against the wake of entropy, monotony, futility, and inescapable oblivion.
Thank you. I feel like I’ve made so much more progress in your channel compared to in my therapy. I have generalised anxiety disorder. This last advice on spirituality especially I feel like is the missing piece.
Thank you for this video. I greatly appreciated the wisdom of the Bio Psyc Soc model being articulated linearly (esk) rather than a triangle. It gave me comfort, a bit of peace that if done as steps, is achievable. From this video I am curious about two things: 1: Stratergies, tools,insights, and wisdom -On BPS CPTSD healing path, very consciously working out the Bio brick/s, and does not have 'Friends n Family (parents, sibs etc)' to offer support and those relationships can wait for renewal with at Soc. However I am already a Parent, with a Spouse ,who ... will hopefully start his healing in his time. How does one begin to navigate those very immediate social, and very intimate dynamics, especially as they often trigger falls? The home is an Ecosystem but trying to heal has made me feel more of a need to be guarded and retreat. 2: Thank you for mentioning spirituality . I rejected it for so long as it was a massive root of the trauma, ironically, trauma can be so deeply rooted, that it can only be reached with a spiritual depth. I would love if you were able to do a video about how to explore spirituality safely, possibly none religiously. - I recently realised I miss the daily group singing from my first 19yrs, and that the act of singing can be a spiritual practice (mostly regradless of the song), but I dont think I know any adults who even just sing going about their day ( I know VanderKolk writes about singing). I wish more professionals discussed spirituality, that there wasnt such a hard snobby line between the Therapy People and Spirituality ( and only associated with God). There are abundant riches if bought together. Thank you Kia Kaha
Hi again, I did this again. Felt ”safe” and okay for the first time in a few days after a lot of anxiety, trauma etc etc and just a few minutes later I felt to get back in contact with a date, even though I knew that wasn’t such a good idea. So I couldn’t handle it right after I sent the text when he didn’t reply fast, so I have just spiralling down and been really anxious and lost everything the last couple of days. 1 hour sleep the other day. Haven’t had any proper meals, only breakfast and some candy a few days 😑 and with the anxiety and pain growing inside me 😞
I like the bridge metaphor. It might help me. Right now, all I want to achieve is taking a shower more than once a week, brush my teeth more than once a day, and walk to my mail kiosk more than once a month. Maybe make one simple meal a day. Maybe clean a little. Stop drinking. Maybe take the antidepressant I was prescribed. Then and only then maybe things will progress. Meh. Showers just terrify me though.
Just over a year ago, my husband had a massive stroke right in front of me and was dead within a minute. He was the love of my life for 23 years and it completely broke me.
I have to learn to live again but couldn't see how to go from being in bed 24/7 to being out in the world again.
Your video has given me a road map for recovery and I can't thank you enough. You have given me permission to take the first baby steps in the safety and privacy of home.
For the first time, I see a future.
Thank you so much. I am more grateful than I can ever tell you.
Condolences…..❤…Little by little, the twisty turny path through grief is a painful process, but as a process, it proceeds, look after yourself as you proceed, all the best.
I'm so sorry for your loss and for the traumatic way that it occurred. My heart goes out to you. May you find ease in the midst of your distress. Megan Divine wrote a good book on grief called "It's Ok That You're Not Ok." I recommend the audiobook as it is read by the author. I'll be praying for you and sending a virtual hug. 💙🙏🏼 🤗
@@bl2572that book is beautiful. I remember is making me feel so much better. Because yea, society.
Condolences. I can't imagine how hard it to go forward without your person. I take fir granted that my husband will always be here.i see him as my safety net and that is so unhealthy.
My heart truly goes out to you. I admire your strength.
I love that you talked about spirituality. I know it's a really touchy subject and I already see someone in the comments that hated it, but I think you did a really good job about presenting it in a "Hey if this is helpful for you, that's awesome, but it's totally okay if not" way. You expressed it as an opinion, not a hard fact, and didn't name any specific faiths. I've personally found spirituality incredibly helpful and I probably wouldn't be here without it. I believe in it wholeheartedly. I already have some nihilistic tendencies, so it's the only thing keeping me from fully leaning into that.
And before anyone gets angry with me for saying that, I'm not telling anyone else to do anything or forcing my own beliefs on people. You do you :)
Well-stated. I agree. Spirituality is a significant part of my being as well.
This is actually a very ignorant advice in a time when powers that be are trying to recruit everyone into the new age false religion of the antichrist by promoting various pagan practices such as yogas, meditations, manifestations ( witchcraft) which in the long run lead to destruction. Faith is not something we practice because it serves us. Human beings are meant to serve God and not the other way around. Most modern psychology is rooted in the occult teachings of jewish kabbalah ( satanism) and most famous psychologists such as Jung and Freud were either jews or occultists
The great thing about spirituality is that you don't have to be religious to develop it. You don't have to believe in god or anything of that nature. You can find it in other things that are meaningful to you.
@@vlst8715 if you are practicing spirituality you are engaging with spirits. If it’s outside the Christian religion, you are dealing with fallen spirits
You might like Eckhart Tolle
I can barely believe that I tuned while you were n this topic! I’ve heard you over and over, but I kept saying to myself ‘I’ll never get to the stage that I can direct my emotions and fears…it’s just to scary!
BUT…I have good news that I want to share with you, in return for all your help! Here it is…I started by getting out of bed and actually getting dressed. Then I made myself at least have breakfast! Now,
I have gotten out of bed, dressed and eaten breakfast…and drove myself to the hair dressers once,
visited a relative I haven’t seen in ages…today, I went to the dentist…just a cleaning..but it wasn’t
too bad (just a little bit claustrophobia)! I wonder what I’ll do tomorrow? Maybe I’ll start trying to catch up on chores! I owe you great thanks for getting me started!
Don’t worry, I won’t rush it!
Check you out! Rooting for you 💕
Well done! 🙂Sending you thumbs up for such a progress 👍😊 I can see some brigde bricks coming 😉
Bravo,gives me hope to start w the 1st thing,and continue as I have Dentists appts coming up.and other medical appts.
proud of you
I had SO MUCH psychotherapy and was drowning... which led me as a last resort to the humility to seek God with mindful intention to figure out how to do life His way. What followed is how I've found the first peace I can rely on.
Thinking of the many hundreds of hours, over the course of nearly 30 years, spent going to therapy once a week to do nothing but talk about my current anxious situation. It felt like little more than treading water clinging to a floating ring... no program, no progression. When I asked for help with aiming for important goals the therapists pacified me with reasons why I was okay where I was (I wasn't). If I thought I could find a program that was more than somebody babysitting my anxiety I would try again.
Hi. Sounds like it misses the belonging part
I'm so sorry you experienced gaslighting by your therapists telling you you were okay when you were saying you were not. That is all to common, sadly. That is a form of malfeasance, in my opinion.
The last thing you need is the person you're seeking help from downplaying the problems that plague you. I've experienced some of that myself. I think the issue can be that the therapist is approaching it from a healthier/better place rather than putting themselves where you are.
It's hard to find right therapist for your own problem at the right time. I visited one psychologist, it was great, I was improving, I was better of with his help. And then illness striked, suddenly all my life was in ruin. So I reach out to him to help me, but he didn't know what to do. Sometimes different problems need different psychologists. If you don't get the help, try to seek another one. If you want to achieve goals and not work on your inner world, you may try coaches. They more about defining goals, planning and executing.
I’m 61 and my unfinished bridge collapsed again 2 months ago. I’m going to listen to what you have to say!
Edit: THANK you for mentioning the “Why” facet.
Because I've always felt separate from others, like a perpetual outsider, I've never had any ideas how to fix it. This gives me the first framework in how I might be able to do it.
And often my faith has been the only thing keeping me this side of the pavement. Others might minimize its value, but I won't.
Boy do I understand! I have lived this too.
❤
Nor I! ❤
2pm, Dr. Scott, I have to say , I never heard any therapist, psychologist, primary Doctor. Ever talk the way you do. You are good at your words. Also you went through the Depression and Anxiety.
I've been struggling with Anxiety Panic attacks, in High School. I had to stop going. I would have panic attacks in school, going from class to class..I couldn't make sense of the Panic attacks. Before this happened, I was a nervous child , shy. Was very close to my mom and my dad to my eyes was like a monster to me, until 29 years old. I'm 71 now , have had therapy for 25 plus years. At one point I had Agoraphobia. That happened trying to get off Valium. Idid. But I found myself, not being able to go out. This was 1 1/2 years. Iwas put on meds for Depression and Anxiety and Panic attacks.
1984 or so... I was able to go out, as long as I took my meds, and it was only a short distances. I lived in a small world . I had therapy for a long time. I stopped to move away, because the house I lived in was being sold . My family left too. My mother, told me to come near her in Florida,in 2014. I took the train. Wasn't that bad.
In 2020 ,Covid hit us and it was frightening. I stopped going out. It was constantly on my mind. Plus I have physical issues. Problems with my spine and difficulty walking because of my back. I've been in my house since April 2021. Im in a invisible prison, and I don't know how to get out.. Asking you if you have any advice for me.
Thank you and God bless you.
Hi. I want to tell you that you’re not alone with feeling isolated since Covid. I’m a nurse who retired in 2016 because of medical conditions. While I participated in some of the vaccination campaigns during the pandemic, I was still considered a vulnerable population because of my medical conditions, so I was cut off from a lot of my previous social interactions and friends. I grew up in an alcoholic household, my father and grandfather committed suicide, I was a homeless teen in Los Angeles. I got sober at age 21 and got my life together and became a nurse. My career was spent helping patients who had chronic, complex illnesses and histories of mental health issues and addiction. That said, I suffered through many years of an eating disorder and anxiety in my own sobriety. I would always “push through it” and I saw a famous Los Angeles psychiatrist who ended up becoming more like a father figure to me than a therapist. He ended up being very co-dependent and it was an unhealthy relationship. I also unsuccessfully tried medication and finally I went to a Hindu temple where I found a meditation group that I loved. During Covid it was shut down and I haven’t been back to the group as often as I used to go. My relationship with my higher power has suffered since covid and I feel like the childhood feelings of being in an unsafe world have taken over my life to a certain extent. Even my wonderful family can’t pull me out of the paralysis most of the time. I am, however, one of those people who has overcome addiction, homelessness, depression, and a serious physical medical condition that nearly took my life, so I keep telling myself that God has my back. I do believe that God puts people in your life that help you get through things, and always keep your eyes open for those angels he sends to help you through the hard times. Good luck and God bless. ❤
You should probably read Dr, Nick Wignall's articles. I highly recommend searching for his blog. Search for "Nick Wignall panic attack" or "Nick Wignall anxiety"
@Cwgrlup Wow,I so identify w your story,and I too like the lady above have become agoraphobia,however it didn't occur to Me that it could have something to do w coming off Clonazapam!
My story quite complex tho I am addictive,gained a lot of weight trying other meds like Quiatepine, etc.
Relapsed on drugs n alcohol,been trying to stop the one night weekly Binge,on my own w Zoom AA mtgs and now,going to try again to navigate through the " system" to see if I can go to safe supportive recovery for 3 months,waiting lists everywhere so pray,pray,pray.
I'm 62 btw.
Born in LA yet living in Vancouver Canada for a long time.
Peace.♡♡♡
@Cwgrlup OH yea,I do believe Meditation is really really helpful,I don't last that long,I find Eckhardht Tolle presence n daily free videos he's putting out really helpful.So my goal is to increase practice 2x a day.
Obligatory disclaimer that I'm not a professional, but if you feel like you're in an invisible prison that you're not able to physically leave, perhaps finding more ways to connect with others online could help ease the isolation & leave you feeling like you're more connected to the people in the world around you. Perhaps there's an art or a hobby you've had interest in before, but never quite got around to pursuing. There are lots of vibrant online communities for every interest - archery; sculpting; poetry-reading & interpretation; birdwatching; botany; wildlife rehabilitation; you name it, there's someone out there who's super into it. You can connect with people regardless of zip code, or you can find out what people are doing closer to your area. There might be local groups for craftwork where you can sit together with other people while working on some art, or there might be Online groups where people post pictures of plants & animals they've identified. You might find comfort in reading "happy news of the day" blogs, or even join a group who discusses daily crossword puzzles or solves Sudoku together. All I mean to say is this: if you can narrow down a topic that interests you, and seek out a community of other people who Also have that interest, then talking to those people about your shared interest, either online or offline, could help make you feel more connected & less invisible in the world. Best wishes to you :)
I appreciate that the way you present things lets me know I am not alone in my struggles and ways of thinking.
Best ending yet! Thank you for your kindness, sir
Thank you for sharing your faith with us and how important it is. I love how down to earth you are. Everyone has their own opinions but it's nice to know where you stand, and what has helped you! 🙏🙌🙏
The three steps of the bio-psycho-social model Dr. Scott outlined are also covered in dialectical behavior therapy. DBT includes units on physical health and well-being, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, challenging negative thoughts, and interpersonal skills. It also includes a spiritual element.
For people losing their minds over Dr. Scott talking about his spiritual beliefs, have you ever been in group therapy or a 12-step program? They often involve a spiritual component. Dr. Scott isn't forcing his beliefs on anyone. He's simply talking about his personal experience and what works for him. Whatever you believe or don't believe, that's okay. If you have faith and practice a religion that helps you, that's okay. If you're staunchly anti-religion, that's okay. If you're an atheist, that's okay. The point is to figure out what your core beliefs and values are and try to live your life accordingly. That might involve finding an amorphous, ambiguous "Higher Power" to help you define your life's purpose, whether that's a deity, the soul, love, basic human goodness, or sublime experiences. I'm a staunchly anti-religious metaphysical woo-woo believer, but I respect others' beliefs. Even if you are a hardcore nihilist, you might need to contemplate emptiness and scream into the Void for 15 minutes a day. Find what works for you and do it.
Beautifully said. That's my biggest problem. Not establishing and committing to my own core beliefs and practicing them. ❤ all because I'm lazy about tge practice of it. Joining others like minded and living out what I claim to love. I fail to show love to myself and others. Really feels so lazy.
@mcadams518 being hard on yourself creates an obstacle. Be patient. Do what you can when you can. Best wishes to you.
I quit alcohol four years ago, and my social life is completely collapsed😂 i’m still working on that bridge, but can never seem to finish it. Now that I’m sober, I seem to hate and despise people and get annoyed with them a lot more but at the same time, I’m lonely, so there’s a dilemma all in itself! Lol.
Congratulations on your sobriety!
@@lovejoy71422 thanks!🙏
same most peoples are toxic as fuck the cleaner you get in all area, the more peoples are a big challenge to overcome
Join something. Habitat for humanity, bicycle group, take a class at a community college, take garden center class on growing small gardens, or woodworking, or music.
You will find a new non-alcoholic tribe.
Try sobriety groups.
I am also sober and also lonely. But I have other problems that hinder my relationships like mental health challenges.
I think you’re absolutely right. I think spirituality is the final step. In school we were taught you have to figure out who you are going to be. What’s your purpose. You have until you are a senior in high school to figure it out. Reality for me is I needed to experience life. I needed to learn a few life lessons. I needed PMDD, OCD, PTSD, EPI, in order to learn about me and the world. To learn what I am strong at and weak at. To learn who’s there for me who to trust and what safety and growth means to me. Then I found my purpose. My true meaning of life and how to cope and manage joy. I think we as a species it takes around 40-50 years to truly know life. To understand me and where I fit in. Thanks to all who read my post. We all need a little life tragedy to understand planet earth and the species that live here and to know our selves.
I am now feelling capable of 'crossing the bridge'. Underestimating time required for tasks - check. I agree that consistency over time will build unshakeable (good) habits. Coming off of a near total mental breakdown...I'm working toward getting my new habits firmly in place. I can't wait to have to choose not to do something! Thankfully, I have already made good progress with emotional stability and resiliency. So much time wasted. Fine, I'll take it one step at a time. I get it - no more falling down back to zero. I recently lost a friend because she projected her issues onto me; treated me terribly, and destroyed my trust in her. For me, it's a new experience to be able to finally cross that bridge...first time. Spirituality is the glue that has held me together since early childhood. Good video, as usual!
Maslow wasn’t wrong about the hierarchy! I love how David Hawkins took Maslow’s hierarchy and overlaid the spectrum of consciousness to create the Map of Consciousness. Great for anyone who has always felt deeply called to spiritual work.
I no longer have a desire to build a bridge and return to function in the material world. There comes a time when the spiritual path leads us away to wander in the desert and address the shadow. Forcing ourselves back into the world isn’t always the answer.
Nice one. Cool that you shared about the spirituality. That has definitely helped me so much. Thank you!
it's different and REAL when the doctor also feels what you feel, thanks
Another home run! Exactly what I needed to hear and exactly what I’m experiencing, and those solutions have already begun to migrate into my everyday reality. Thank you for the validation, the confirmation and the heads up.!
Do you know that you will never know the magnitude of healing your videos are making across the spectrum of human experiences all around the world
So, when that critical voice starts coming in your head, if you get to read this message, remember the good is going to continue rippling through our lives, and the lives of the people that we positively impact, and that your contribution was significant in that regard
The spirituality part was the most important one for me. I have always searched for greater meaning in my life. Why am I here versus why did both my brothers die of Muscular Dystrophy?
Thank you.
I'm very sorry about your brothers passing from MD. Muscular Dystrophy is a gene mutation that is inherited. You are female with 2 X chromosomes (one X from each of your parents). Your brothers were *both* males with 1 X chromosome (from mom) and 1 Y chromosome (from dad). This makes males more vulnerable since they do NOT have 2 different (X) chromosomes (it's like having a 2nd back up car if your car breaks down).
That is a very crude, oversimplified explanation of a more complex explanation that requires more knowledge foundation before it can be understood, but I hope this helps explain why your male/brothers were more genetically vulnerable than you since you have 2 X chromosomes, which offers you more protection (or at least it does in most cases, unless BOTH parents carry the gene mutation in their DNA, which is less common but can happen).
Wishing you much healing along your path~
@leth2753
I studied DMD my whole life. I am a carrier, but I had the pre- natal testing to determine the sex of my daughter. I had her. My daughter had tests to determine if her baby would have DMD. He didn't. She had him.
I probably know almost as much as the scientists do. Both my brothers did science projects on their own disease.
So I appreciate your explanation, but I already knew so much at age 8.
Mom was almost a doctor and she understood it all to well.
I wish I never heard of Duchenne, but it ruined many lives in my family.
Thank you both for sharing what you had to share. I have never heard of MD before 🌻
Thank you. It’s strange how you put out subjects that are so actual in my life. I’ve been thinking about exactly this whole day. I have felt an urge and stress about the social part. And I almost rushed into it, although not biology or psychology been settled for me. But today there have been a conflict inside of me, and I have said to myself I need to have trust in the process. That I will feel better another day. And I have managed to actually not do something in a rush today. I wanted to write something to a new date but I know I’m not going to be able to handle that right now. So this video is a confirmation that I’m on the right path and I need to give myself some time. I felt better today and wanted to walk over the bridge right away, but it’s good to hear that maybe I’m not fully matured to do it. So it feels good now that I didn’t send a message. 💕
Thank you so much for sharing your faith. I absolutely love how humble and down to earth you are, and actually thought how nice it would be to include faith as part of recovery and therapy in your videos. Faith is definitely the foundation of my own therapy as well. Kudos to you for your sensitive approach to the subject and your honesty...very refreshing 🙂
I'm glad you finally spoke about spirituality. I totally agree as it has improved my mental health and gratefulness that I didn't do something to harm myself.
I'm desperate for hope but never had a normal. I will listen because just listening feels better than the moment to moment existential angst which I've been in all my life in one way or another.
That "endless horrible luck" resonated too hard 😩 I often feel like Job.
“Probably definitely I think”. ❤ That’s so me. Thank you!!!
5 hours of sleep and one meal and two snacks? That is my version of healthy actually.
Same here
We'll get there, keep at it guys! 🙏
If it used to be something like either 4 or 14hrs of sleep with a meal every 2-4days. Powered by caffeine, nicotine, and carbs..
Regular 5hrs every day + atleast 1meal a day is definitely a step towards self care
@@justb4116 currently 6-8 hours
Yeah I think we're all different what might works for him is not necessarily going to work us it depends on the individual but the main idea is there
For some ,the faith is everything. Thank you for this talk. I really got a lot out of it.
This has been one of THE most timely and useful mental heath video I have seen in forever. I thought I’d hurt someone if a “ support group” was suggested again. I needed to know ‘build’ a foundation first to then take the necessary steps forward. Thank you so so much for this talk/advice/guidance! I’m recompose to those I care about the much 🙏
I get tired of re-building this bridge (must've been given faulty blueprints, lol!). And recently, I've been preoccupied with spirituality and how ppl manage to draw strength and comfort from it. Like you, I have a tendency toward nihilistic thinking and have been thinking that having some kind of faith would be helpful. Unfortunately, I can't force my brain to believe in something. Not sure how one gets past that hurdle.
Pray! Ask God to show you the way!
Take from these thoughts what you will, but here's how I see it. I grew up in a certain religion and I'm completely committed to it. I've also ALWAYS felt like an outsider in every group, my church community included. I often find it hard to relate to them and unfortunately, a lot of them have a bad case of toxic positivity. They're nice but they think everything will be magically fixed through prayer, if you're faithful enough. But that's not how it works.
I thought for the longest time that I just wasn't good enough. That no matter how hard I try, I won't have enough faith to make it to heaven. But it turns out, I have a couple of anxiety disorders and major depressive disorder, among other things. I CAN'T just make myself believe something and never question it or worry about it again because my brain is wired to worry about things. I analyze every facet of my religion all the time. I also can't expect to ALWAYS feel the peace and comfort and presence of God because I experience near-constant anhedonia. I believe that God is perfect, but our ability to feel His presence is not.
One of my favorite quotes (although I totally forgot where it came from haha) is "Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things. To have faith is to hope for things which are not seen, which are true." So I don't always need to be perfectly sure of everything. I believe that if I'm trying my best, God recognizes that effort and that's enough. I believe He understands my brain chemistry and accounts for that.
So I can't tell you what to believe, but I can tell you that it is okay to not believe or understand everything right away. It's not about forcing yourself to believe in something. What matters is that you take a step, even if you're not sure about it; trust the process. I pray through the cynical and nihilistic thoughts and do my best to trust that He's listening.
I hope this was helpful, or at least interesting. Good luck on your journey :)
@lailanitukuafu I appreciate you for taking the time to write, and it was an interesting read. As you said, it is a journey, and I can only see where it leads me. Thank you for your kind words.
Read the Bible. ❤
Gladly I learned from art:
*Always seek perfection, knowing there is no such thing like perfection.*
That reliefs a lot.
Listened today till the end - The weird thing for me with spirituality is, it works regardless which Pantheon you choose. Like a placebo - and I mean it in a good way.
When I traveled to Norway in 2016 I just for fun made up a story in my mind about the Nordic gods and before that I felt a connection to the ravens. It works to get this inner dialogue to "entities", even knowing you made them up yourself. I am today still in "contact" to those and like my ravens around here when they "kra".
I still know I made it all up BUT even knowing I can talk this way to my undefinable inner self that seems more connected to reality that our conscious part is. Hope that makes sense.
Your comment reminds me very much of the time I took a seminar-style class on the psychology of religion, spirituality, and meaningfulness. It was incredibly interesting, and sort of aligns with what you’ve spoken to here. Our brains, in some way, are sort of “primed” to be receptive to religion/spirituality or ideas tangential to that (such as looking for meaning in our lives, etc).
It is all somewhat parallel to how our brain is primed to learn a language, but not any specific one. In that same vein, our brain also seems primed to be receptive to religious or religious-like beliefs, though not necessarily to any specific religion.
@@Amber24426 in my experience we are not primed for religion - it seems to me the deeper secret is:
we are primed to stories.
That's because lies have it so easy against the truth. A good story is we are living for, we go to the cinema, read in the internet the mass of bs... Because believing is so easy, just listen, finding the truth is a more harder way, where you have to think for your self.
@@Amber24426 On top of my story theory, I think meaning is created by HOW you deliver the story. e.g. that's why Trump can farm all the narrow minded people. With a simple story you get simple people.
@@skjelm6363 humans definitely like to weave things into stories if it is at all possible- that is what helps us make sense of our world and our place in it.
It's interesting. For me, the idea of an unanswerable why is far more comforting than the alternative: that something would have had deliberately created the universe with such malevolent purpose in mind. But everyone's journey is different.
Please do the video on spirituality. I would love to see it ❤
Me too
I love you saying that spirituality as the base of the bridge!!
Yess I love this! I actually think I’m pretty decent on the psychological component and would be fine on the social component if I could just get the biological squared away. But I actually think the first thing that needs to get taken care of for most adults is the financial. Everything else automatically falls apart when you are worrying about meeting your basic needs financially and being a burden to others
I love how you just threw the whole spirituality aspect at us out of left field 😀I jest, but I actually relate very deeply to what you said. I've been a wonderer & questioner since I was about 14 years old, which is (not) coincidentally when the first wave of heavy depression hit me. Needless to say, it's made me feel like an outsider for most of my life. It's only in the last few years that I have really begun to look deeply into myself and find some answers for a lot of "why's" about my life. It took me a long time to get to this point in my life, which of course has a 1,000 questions attached to it in itself lol, and I'm still working out what it means to me, but my spiritual life is a part of my everyday now. While I was always vaguely spiritual, I've become a person who prays and communes with the mystery of it all daily, and I never would have saw that coming even a few years ago. Spirituality is, and is meant to be, a very personal and often unexplainable thing. Thanks again, Dr. Scott!
There's spirituality only in humanity. So, if you're lost without a spitual focus, focus on the beings that built it. Nothing above or below. It's just us.
I like the way you put that. Spirituality to me is just the experiences we might describe as profound or moving. It’s cluttered and messy as a word as far as usage goes, so I tend not to use it. But yeah, nothing supernatural necessary 😊
Well that's just like, your opinion man.
I've witnessed animals respond to spirituality.
@lunarose9042 We all have. Humans are animals.
It's funny how this video appeared in my suggestions right after I worked for four days just journaling down to gain clarity on what my boundaries should be like. And the first and foremost ones are related to body and my physical health. Taking care of hunger, hygiene, some amount of exercise and so on. Because they all affect how I feel that day, how much I ruminate and criticize myself. I told myself that I should go about life like I am at kindergarten level now. I just need to learn and master the alphabet. I don't need to worry about mastering quantum mechanics. Just focus on learning the fundamentals like the sweet little inner child that I am inside without blaming her for not being an expert in advanced, abstract concepts of life. Just focus on learning physical self-care for now until it becomes automatic. 🥰💗
If you ever become more comfortable talking about it, I would love a video about faith in psychology!
I think you’re Super Doc! I’m wishing more and more I was working with you on my mental health issues!
Well now you did it! LOL. I don't think spirituality is a touchy subject and it should be a more openly discussed topic. Many people who have experienced a lot of suffering and traumas, find god, source, the universe, whatever you want to call it. I was an atheist until 4 years ago. Now I pray, meditate, and my life is completely different , in a wonderfully beautiful way. Having faith and knowing why you are here is a game changer. I can't tell you why you are here, only you can. But it seems that you were given the drive, gift and service of helping thousands of suffering people all over the world. You are changing every persons life who tunes into you, for the better. They in turn will change and effect others lives. We are all connected and I for one am happy to have found you and I couldn't be more grateful that you chose this path and to share it with others. On that note, depending on how far you want to go, maybe a spiritual channel, or once a week videos discussing the topic? Just putting a bug in your ear! Thank you again for your service!
I’ve thought about that down the road ❤️
I 100% need this, Thank you.
I enjoyed hearing the spiritual part added in. Thank you.
So glad you addressed FAITH, SPIRITUAL ASPECT OF LIFE! I was raised in the Cherokee Way, where everything has a spirit & is deserving of Respect. Basically, a human's goal (while in this plain) is to GROW THEIR SPIRIT. Pretty dang simple❤❤
I am 70 years old, and I am just beginning to feel like I have a bit of understanding and practices that help me make it through from one day to the next. I am frustrated that it has taken me so long to get here, but I'm glad I don't feel like I'm hanging by my fingertips.
Love For when everything is burning, can't wait for your next book. You're great, and u totally understand how this little community feels.
Recently read an interesting book called The hunter-gatherers guide to the 21st century. It talked about how like it or not, our brains and bodies are still adapted to be hunter gatherers. There was a whole chapter about spirituality from an evolutionary perspective. Whether you believe in a non-physical world or not, spirituality is still very much part of being human across cultures and throughout time.
By spirituality you mean paganism such as hinduism or Buddhism? Christians do not believe in evolution nor practice yogas , meditations and other pagan practices which are heavily promoted to masses as ‘spirituality’ without discussing what kind of spirits these naive people are engaging with
ordered it on audible today
Don’t be uncomfortable about spirituality!!! You just rock in all aspects!! Bless you 😊
I loved this video although I felt slightly triggered that my biggest issues are still my social interactions, which are awkward, because I stil harbour maladaptive belief systems. Dang. But I cannot understate the biological one. I got severely overweight during my undergrad studies, so much so that I couldnt sleep through anymore, that I had constant joint pain all over and I could barely even carry my weight around. But I remembered, that I loved doing sports as a teen. There were so many times where I just sat there crying, lonely in bed, that I will never be able to get out of this and I finally ruined my life. This is some years ago already, but then I just started slowly.
I dont want to make this endlessly, but I have lost over 120 pounds, I started slow but I am now even able to run a half-marathon again. No matter how bad my days get, I know, that when I am out running, I will feel awesome afterwards. Because it is so physically exhasuting, and surprisingly also that mental sharpness while running. I think I have not drank a cola in two years now. When I am doing groceries, its it completely off my radar, the same with chips. I do not feel guilty or shameful, when I sometimes still emotional binge-eat, because I know, that I can only fall so far back.
There is magic in doing things slow. But yeah, working on social awkwardness is not so straight forward as having your biological needs met. I know I need to lift some of that pressure and start by just being more comfortable around others, rather than being the best conversationalist or what not.
Good thing is, you have lots of great advise, Scott. I think I have to rewatch some videos. 🙂
Greetings
- To
I have recently discovered your channel, and I have received more value from just one video of yours than most I’ve watched over the past decade related to these topics to aid in my journey. I want to say so much more, and truthfully, I want to shout it from the rooftops. You are so important, I cannot emphasize that enough. I know there are others like myself who probably have not felt like there is any hope, but remain searching for content to supplement their lives with mental illness. You’ve already changed my life by touching on the topics with the approach that you do. Like I said, I could go on and on, but I’m actually motivated to start (so many times I’ve said that.. it just wasn’t a true “start” because the things I was listening to were not laid out in any way close to how you do)… anyway, Dr. Scott- thank you, sincerely from my heart. 🙏
I'm 11 minutes into this video and I'm already thinking this sounds like a decade of work for whoever would take this process on. I can't even imagine someone beginning to approach what sounds like a monumental undertaking, especially after the pandemic. Yet, I found this video so rich in valuable information that I watched it twice to make sure I took everything in (and wow, is the education for psychologists woefully inadequate to prepare you to truly help those who seek help from you, and especially people with Cluster B disorders who do considerable harm to others and have also been harmed themselves-also a tangent)
I am nowhere close to being an all-or-nothing thinker, and I'm definitely not a catastrophizing thinker, but after the first half of this video, I can only try and imagine how this sounds to those individuals who DO have those thought patterns. I can see compliance w/meds being easy, if the meds are *both* available and affordable. I can see the spirituality being easy, even though I'm an atheist-leaning agnostic. I can see some mild-to-severe difficulty today (Feb 2024) accomplishing some of these.
I say this as someone who started competing athletically at the age of 8 in my first of multiple sports. I started training daily with coaching (5- days a week) at the age of 12, pretty much year round, with training overlapping from sport to sport. On top of those sports at school, I was also a cheerleader and competitive gymnast at a private gymnastics club AFTER school and on weekends. For years, I was an avid snowboarder, yoga teacher, roller blader, scuba diver, etc. So, I understand discipline, commitment, and that physical fitness is a lifestyle, not a temporary bootcamp. It was a lifestyle I thoroughly loved. Notice that is past tense.
We not only still have CoVid variants circulating, but also RSV, the flu, and now a measles outbreak to contend with indoors and *most especially in gym environments* where everyone is huffing and puffing all those viral particles out of their mouths all over everything. The live measles virus, alone, can hang in the air of a room for up to 8 hours. I learned this from my physicians AFTER having contracted it. I had multiple measles vaccines over my lifetime and I still came down with w/measles back in 2015, after swimming in an outdoor pool at a college campus in Santa Monica, CA *once* during a brief visit. It took me almost a year to fully get over it and that was how bad it was with being *vaccinated*. I can't remember most of the first 6 months of having the measles.
Unlike me, most people don't live in California where they can get outside (most of the year) and exercise, albeit rather dangerous to do so in the coastal cities for the last few years w/crime rates skyrocketing. I know I gained 35 pounds over the last 4 years becaudse of these factors that have *severely hampered any form of regular exercise* including getting outside to exercise. Going into a gym is out of the question (millions and millions of people here living in close proximity is ill advised, to say the least) and has been for the last 4 years (because millions and millions of people live/work/breathe in close proximity to one another). Heck, we still *willingly* wear masks inside because we are so densely populated. Go outside, and you are a sitting duck for any criminal who wants a new cell phone (or if you're foolish enough to wear stark white airpods that can be seen from a quarter-mile away). Leave your car at a trail head? Expect to find it broken into when you return.
I'm not an anxious person, except around predators. I've traveled the world, alone and for business, to countries (where I do not speak the language) for a month at a time. I've studied abroad twice. I surf (badly), scuba dive (plenty of sharks), lived in Manhattan for 10 years, and live in Oakland, CA (very dangerous) now. I cannot imagine having to tackle what you are suggesting at this point in time because it simply is not safe to do any of it unless you have your own home gym, and where I live that's for those who earn $800K or more per annum. Keeping the same schedule where I live, including the multi-million dollar neighborhoods, will get you robbed, further traumatized, and maybe killled (quickly, if you're fortunate). The one thing law enforcement tells us NOT to do it is to keep a schedule so criminals can predictably target you (or your home).
I would love nothing more than to go back to the gym, to start weight training again 3-4 days a week, going to yoga 3-4 days a week, and keeping a predictable, relaxing, easy-to-fall-into life-routine, but that simply isn't possible where I live (and my city isn't unique, sadly...friends in Manhattan/Brooklyn report the same). Heck, we can't even park our cars at the gym safely, but if we leave them home and unattended, we come back to busted windows and/or missing catalytic converters (yes, in broad daylight). That doesn't include all the robberies AT the actual gym (including gym lockers, cars, etc). The safest form of physical activity is to drive away from the cities in California to go snowboarding in the mountains, and that isn't practical because lift tickets, alone, are over $100/day, not including gas, hotel, & food. Last year, the snow was so high (over the chimneys) that roofs of multiple commercial buildings caved in and some died from being suffocated inside their home from snow. It's never been like this in my lifetime. I'm 56. Friends in fly-over states are working out inside their much larger homes, swimming in the backyard pools, etc. It is very different for people living in NY/LA/SF/Chicago and smaller cities like Atlanta, St. Louis, Birmingham, Baltimore and Cleveland aren't much better (but they do have much largers homes to exercise in).
...and I haven't even gotten to the part about how many 10s of thousands of dollars this lengthy, protracted therapy is going to cost IF...and only if...there comes a time when you can regularly go to a gym when the entire globe isn't riddled with *multiple, circulating* airborne viruses, a couple of which can take you out of work for 6 months to a year (or longer, if you come down w/long CoVid), and you do not ever want to come down with the measles. It is very likely you will be the sickest you have ever been or ever imagined you could be without dying (and that is the version of lesser lethality you develop if you're vaccinated). It is a lengthy recovery process back to 100% health. I can only guess your gym has 1/4 the membership population of the average gym in a larger or medium-sized city.
The sleep hygiene will likely be doable for anyone who is single/not sleeping w/a partner (or pet), doesn't have infants/toddlers/young children, works the same "shift" daily, doesn't work nights or alternating shifts or nights, isn't on call, doesn't have to work more than 1 job, and isn't over 60 and needing to get up more than once per night to go to the bathroom. That pretty much excludes all first responders, all parents of young children (who can't afford a full-time overnight nanny), all med students, all commercial pilots/flight attendants, most people working in retail and/or food service, and pretty much anyone else who has a job that requires them to have varying schedules daily/weekly, and especially anyone on-call.
Healthy food will be possible for those who can afford it, which will become less likely month after month, as they shell out hundreds and hundreds of dollars for weekly therapy.
By the time you get to the social aspect, they won't have any money left to socialize, and probably won't have any retirement savings, either. They probably will have had to default on their student loans, too, if they have them.
Purpose in life will probably do more for people than anything else and, through that, they might be able to connect w/other like-minded (hopefully), psychologically healthy people.
While I really respect you for telling your story, as it's a great reference, you also didn't take this on at the close of a pandemic and all the trauma that has happened during this pandemic, on top of what people were already dealing with before it. I have to say, I'm *relieved* that I don't have to listen to this video...and also face the monumental and financially decimating and protracted therapy you are talking about. smh I'm heartbroken for people who believe they have to financially devestate themselves, all to alleviate their anxiety and depression. smh
People are better off going to a skilled hypnotherapist FIRST so they can significantly lessen this protracted process you are mentioning here.
I could not agree more that we all need adequate, restful sleep and a healthy diet, but a small percentage will be able to afford this lengthy protracted process you are discussing, and especially if they're already paying monthly for insurance coverage, as it is.
This is for the incredibly affluent who have the ongoing resources to spend several years doing this.
You do a really incredible job NOT over-promising and really managing expectations that this is a marathon and NOT a sprint, and how critical the healthy foundation is before you build another level or two on top of it. That said, most people with anxiety can be helped faster and more effectively with hypnotherapy for a fraction of the cost and time, if they get a qualified, empathic hypnotherapist (and not some stage freak exploiting their vulnerability).
Speaking for myself personally, it was almost exactly a decade of work! Although I did it completely by myself, I'm sure that timeline could be compressed with good help. But don't trick yourself into thinking it's not worth it because of how long it will take, "healing" is not a binary process, you will gradually feel and function better (in a nonlinear fashion) along the way.
Your videos are so valuable to me. Thanks so much for your input. I'm too poor for a real doctor, so I try self help via books, friends, RUclips videos. Even AA now and again for human connection. Anyway, thanks.
I understand all parts of this including the spiritual part!
Been on the healing journey for decades. It wasn't until Jesus that things made sense for me. ❤ It's so lovely to see someone from the mental health space bring up spirituality.
Thank you for saying this. I'm with you
He is literally our Rock- The foundation for everything in our lives. None of this matters without faith for a greater purpose.
When did it become so bad to share faith, hope and love with others?
I believe we would have less anxiety if we weren’t ‘Shamed’ for being Christians… Ya know the one faith that is attacked without reason.
it’s the one that promotes healing, salvation, grace, mercy and forgiveness for all who believe in Jesus.
It’s free will to believe in whatever you want.
Work out your own salvation before allowing your own fears of eternity to overtake you.
Faith is as important as oxygen.
I think for those that don’t vibe with the term spirituality, existential is a good alternative
Excellent point
This channel has opened my eyes to a lot of things. Thank you for your videos
I have this feeling of a gap too but it’s with myself. I feel like real me is on the other side.
Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
Spirituality: doesn't have to involve a religion or a deity character. It's enough to have a reason for the world, an ethos for behavior, a motivation for interacting _respectfully_ with the living things. It's possible to do, and it's the difference between building your bridge pilings on top of bedrock or setting them into sand.
It's Maslow's hierarchy through and through. Figure out food and sleep, safety, housing. Then you can figure out finances, job stuff. People wonder why they don't feel like doing hobbies or spending time with people, but they literally don't feel safe or comfortable enough to have leftover energy to do so. Follow Maslow's hierarchy. Cover the basics first.
Hi again, I feel like I’m coming back here from time to time. It’s like I’m bouncing in and out of this. And when I’m in the phase where I take care of my body, this video comes back to my mind.
Growing up with parents never seeing my needs, it’s like I’m hardwired with the same in me. I continue to fail looking out for my needs and try to do the other steps before, and fail there too. And then ”fall down” to or realise I need to listen to myself. What my body is feeling. ❤️ and I think this video maybe help me reminding myself that this is actually the way to go. That my needs are the most important thing and the first step. That there is no fast line/track. I hope I will continue to listen to my body more and more and that it becomes natural for me.
Thank you so much for this issue, dear Doctor Eilers! I appreciate both the 1-2-3 part and 4! Thank you for your readiness to share both things you have clear description for, as well as things you still find either vague or very personal. Anxiety you used to experience and this kind of bravery in present also give me as a listener a firm hope that I will succeed if I am consistent🙌
Happy to hear u talk abt spiritual health...even if we disagree its tuff to argue that a person needs spiritual health. Ok internets, let it rip! 😁
This sounds very interesting to me. Unfortunately, I'll miss the premiere, but will watch later.
Thank you! Finally! Someone talks about biological! So important!
This takes time. But your work genuinely works. Not everyone is as "put together" and sometimes we slide backwards, I practice being patient. I'm not the best at patience and consciously changing habitual thoughts, difficult
I’ve been reaching out to “god” again lately. I kinda can’t find any other way. But most of my friends are atheists and my family is catholic. So the middle ground is tough. But I’m keeping it private too. It’s probably the best.
I'm Japanese and I'm not a Christian.
But I love chiristian teachings and spirituality💖
It doesn't matter what your nationality is to be a Christian, God loves and accepts us all. Pray to God and ask him to come into life 🙏
He's not necessarily talking about the Jesus religions. Or religion at all. Spirituality is not the same as following established dogmas. I consider myself a spiritual person because I don't belong to an organized religion.
@@alexiswinter6948 Dr Scott was talking about his faith, and how it helps him. He didn't state more because he is a controversial subject for some. You're entitled to believe whatever you would like, just as I am, why not try Jesus himself and not a religion? I don't belong to any "Set" religion, however I do put my faith in God and Jesus, and that has helped myself and many others here. God bless you!
1st as commented by a being here:
REAL LOVE &
GENUINE CARE ate the starting place for coming out of severe depression n isolation.
Another great video. I also really loved how you brought spirituality into the picture. Risky move but honesty seems to be in your general wheelhouse. Don’t get me wrong - I’m not a religious person…but you don’t need to be religious to be spiritual. My own psychologist is extremely spiritual and my most recent EMDR session ended in a downright unexpected, spiritual way. Side note: EMDR- what an absolutely mind boggling experience! How can it heal 35 years of trauma in 2 freaking sessions is beyond me! But I digress…I found the way you broke the approach down into the 3 steps to be practical and easy to follow. I’ve followed quite a few of your suggestions and overall have improved my mental health much more than I expected. However I did recently attempt to give up my nightly glass of wine only to find the detrimental effects I felt far outweighed any benefits…minimisation will have to suffice at this juncture.
I look forward to your next video.
Thank you, Dr. Scott.
Thanks, Dr. Scott. It all made sense to me. It is very hard to not want to go faster, but after all these years of struggling, I'm realizing I can only do so much at a time. That's why I'm only about halfway through your book. The other thing you're working on sounds interesting, too. My spirituality has been on a continuum since my teens, but I haven't lost it altogether. Mine may not look like most people's, but I do think it's important. ✌️
Thanks for having the courage to share your thoughts about faith. ❤🙏
.....this video is the video I've wish I had seen for last 20 years lol. thank you
thanks for this framework, it's giving me a lot of clarity but also a lot of hope, cause I keep going back and forth the bio and psycho aspects while really yearning for more social stuff, never really establishing firm enough foundation for both. The last part about spirituality is also very important cause I also have that nihilistic voice in my head doing the sarcastic clap. I think the purpose aspect puts everything into perspective and gives me the fuel I need to establish those bio and psycho aspects. Thank you!
So eloquent and makes a lot of sense. Thank you, from the UK.
I hope this doesn't sound too negative but it's my experience. My brain broke in October last year. It was a very deep & scary period that I'm only recently starting to emerge from. I'd say it was one of my worst bouts of poor mental health yet, due in part to the fact I couldn't (& I do mean couldn't), get to the mat for my daily yoga. My diet also went to shit. I'd built the habit since 2019 & only missed a very rare day here & there. Practiced through depression, anxiety, injuries & illness. But this last time I just couldn't, even if someone's life had depended on it. It totally threw me because I thought it was ingrained. Instilled, like you alluded to in point 1. My 'thing' was daily yoga & it all crumbled away cause I was so physically & mentally wrung out.
I'm not going to ask how long you think it takes cause I don't want to feel even more demotivated (& I'm sure it's very individual) but for me at least, it seems habits can be toppled, which makes the whole process of striving for better mental health seem even more daunting & unattainable.
I'm glad you found faith helped you & I get your existential questions all too well. Would you say that spirituality could be interchangeable with finding purpose or meaning in life for people who aren't religious? A cause greater than yourself? I hope so 💜
It sounds like you’ve been sifting through a lot- do you have any means of social support? I left a comment elsewhere on this video, but I do truly think (from my own anecdotal experience, at least) that it can be almost impossibly difficult to sort out managing our physical needs when we have little to no quality social ties in our life.
While I think it makes sense not to focus too heavily on building relationships when one’s physical foundation is still in shambles, I think it is important to feel that you are loved or cared for in some capacity by another person(s)… I have found this to make all the difference in my own life- for to feel nurtured in some way by others inspires me to want to nurture myself, to tend to myself with the same compassion as I have received from someone else.
I wish you well in navigating this difficult time in your life.
So helpful. And I appreciate you talking about spirituality because that’s the piece that has brought me full circle during my intense healing journey these past 5 years. Your content and delivery is remarkable. Thank you! 🙏🏼
This is exactly what i needed to watch today. Thank you! I just ordered your audible book and going to listen to it. Appreciate your work and thoughts.
Really precious explanation, thank you Very much!! I think the same about the importance of a spiritual dimension and sense of Faith 🙌
This makes so much sense to me. Thank you so much for sharing! I am so grateful for your channel.
This really hit home for me. Thank u for your honesty. Sending u blessings for all the good u do in the world 😊
Yes, spirituality, PLEASE! I have had that definitely in place for several years, but I am still interested in how you think it relates to the rest of this!😊
I really appreciate your videos. I watch them often. They have really helped me understand that there is a way to overcome. I love your book! I first bought it in paper back, then quickly purchased it in hardback. Looking forward to your workbook release. I do wonder…. Dr.Scott… are you a Twenty One Pilot fan?? I am a huge fan of TØP and wanted to share that you both have the same goal… to help people with Mental Health. You both are so inspiring to so many. I hope you see this. If you don’t listen to them, I hope you give them a listen. I believe you will relate and also be inspired. Thanks for all you do! 🧡🍀
Thankyou. That was absolutely spot on and provided the nuggets of info that were missing.
So to summarise - focus on
1.nutrition
2.psychology
3.social
4.God/meaning outside ourself
Actually we cant not be social right but certainly helping others whenever and however , being with family, old people, children and animals and nature all really good. I think you meant partnering up, yeah maybe its wise to put that on pause.
The “biological” is crucial and am impressed you have it as no.1 where it belongs coz this will improve all the rest. Superb!
I have no idea why theres a link in this, unintentional - sorry. Plz ignore/remove
Thank you for bringing up spirituality 🙏
Reinforced what I've experienced to be true about biologics, therapy, and spirituality. Giving me a good excuse to procrastinate trying to make new friends though!😉
Once again Dr.Scott is the best👍
I’m really glad I watched till the end! Thank you🙏
Gonna try to build my bridge correctly and with less rush this time
Can you please make a video on faith and spirituality? I miss the days where I could actually believe in something, but I am full of doubt, and I am far too aware that I would be tricking myself into believing that there is some kind of purpose if I just started believing some kind of explanation, that justifies existence and all of these efforts towards improvement against the wake of entropy, monotony, futility, and inescapable oblivion.
Bravo maestro! You nailed it!
Thank you. I feel like I’ve made so much more progress in your channel compared to in my therapy. I have generalised anxiety disorder. This last advice on spirituality especially I feel like is the missing piece.
Thank you for this video. I greatly appreciated the wisdom of the Bio Psyc Soc model being articulated linearly (esk) rather than a triangle. It gave me comfort, a bit of peace that if done as steps, is achievable.
From this video I am curious about two things:
1: Stratergies, tools,insights, and wisdom -On BPS CPTSD healing path, very consciously working out the Bio brick/s, and does not have 'Friends n Family (parents, sibs etc)' to offer support and those relationships can wait for renewal with at Soc. However I am already a Parent, with a Spouse ,who ... will hopefully start his healing in his time. How does one begin to navigate those very immediate social, and very intimate dynamics, especially as they often trigger falls? The home is an Ecosystem but trying to heal has made me feel more of a need to be guarded and retreat.
2: Thank you for mentioning spirituality . I rejected it for so long as it was a massive root of the trauma, ironically, trauma can be so deeply rooted, that it can only be reached with a spiritual depth. I would love if you were able to do a video about how to explore spirituality safely, possibly none religiously. - I recently realised I miss the daily group singing from my first 19yrs, and that the act of singing can be a spiritual practice (mostly regradless of the song), but I dont think I know any adults who even just sing going about their day ( I know VanderKolk writes about singing). I wish more professionals discussed spirituality, that there wasnt such a hard snobby line between the Therapy People and Spirituality ( and only associated with God). There are abundant riches if bought together.
Thank you
Kia Kaha
Thank you Dr: Ailers!!!❤
Hi again, I did this again. Felt ”safe” and okay for the first time in a few days after a lot of anxiety, trauma etc etc and just a few minutes later I felt to get back in contact with a date, even though I knew that wasn’t such a good idea. So I couldn’t handle it right after I sent the text when he didn’t reply fast, so I have just spiralling down and been really anxious and lost everything the last couple of days. 1 hour sleep the other day. Haven’t had any proper meals, only breakfast and some candy a few days 😑 and with the anxiety and pain growing inside me 😞
After reading Dr Matthew Walker's book Why we sleep , I really believe I have to fix my sleep before I try anything else.
I am looking forward to this anything yo build on more strategies to help myself. Thanks😊❤
Talk abt it brother!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Thank you so much! You've helped me a lot, Dr. Scott, thank you!
I like the bridge metaphor. It might help me. Right now, all I want to achieve is taking a shower more than once a week, brush my teeth more than once a day, and walk to my mail kiosk more than once a month. Maybe make one simple meal a day. Maybe clean a little. Stop drinking. Maybe take the antidepressant I was prescribed. Then and only then maybe things will progress. Meh. Showers just terrify me though.