here's how i get out of it
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- Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
- Journal #8 - a yap story about myself and my experience with pulling myself out of depression phases in my life.
Discord - / discord
0:00 Intro
1:19 Journal Reading
3:20 Some tips for depression
9:17 Outro
sometimes just a change in environment can do a lot. i love walking at night and all you can hear is your steps on the cold pavement, and you come across an empty parking lot and you have the moonlight shining down on you. Theres a feeling there, thats peaceful.
💯
There was this one time I just sat on a bench when it was past dusk, mesmerised by the moon and stars with no one around. I felt so free and safe that when it got completely dark I threw my shirt on the ground and ran around the cool pavement for a bit lol
I was looking at the recommended section of youtubes front page for a solid like 20 seconds, and found this video. I don't know what to say but to keep on voicing your thoughts and opinions on your own struggles, because now I'm going to try out your advice of taking a walk and not worrying about the goal of it, just do it without any expectations. So thank you, I'll be looking forwards to more videos from you soon.
This has been a very comforting video. I’ve struggled like hell all my life, and it had gotten better and worse and then better again. That cycle is a little exhausting. I’ll never truly be ‘cured’ of depression, and that took a long time for me to accept because I simply didn’t know how I could put up with such excruciating lows for maybe 40 something more years. And for a long time I envied people who didn’t struggle like I did. Clinical depression feels like a parasite leeching off of me. And even when I was struggling to do simple things like take care of myself because I just couldn’t find the energy or will to leave my bed, I still placed a standard on myself to be doing more. So i would waste away in bed for hours and then feel guilty and low that I didn’t do anything. Really sucked.
I’m finally starting to realize that it will be hard. It’ll be like hell in some places, and in the future I don’t know exactly how I’ll handle it when inevitably everything around me changed and the people I know now are inevitably gone. But I’ve made myself an oath to stay alive and I’ve damn well kept it. Each birthday feels like a massive blessing and a testament to my survival. I turn 18 soon and I’ll be off to college. That isn’t something I thought I’d be able to do. I struggled with harmful thoughts since I was a child. I didn’t think i would make it here but I did. And sometimes when I express that people get uncomfortable, or think I’m being edgy or asking for sympathy. I don’t want sympathy, I want to express my absolute joy that I’m still alive. I am proud to say it with zero edginess and all the hope in my heart. Im glad I didn’t give in, because although it’s been really rough here and there, I’ve found that there is more to what my life can be than what I thought. I discovered my passions in art, and I’ve been steadily practicing and honing my skills in drawing, anatomy, painting, and sculpting. When I have a day where I feel like shit, I draw. I just draw whatever for no reason other than to draw and keep my hands and mind busy. Sometimes I’ll explore what I feel through art, but most of the time I opt to draw something from nature like animals or plants. I think focusing on something beautiful like that helps calm my mind and remind me that there is good in the world if I look.
Having my mom helps. She’s a saint. I love my mom. She’s went through a lot of the mental health problems I have, and at a similarly young age. And I am just like my mom in that I have the same terrible habits and telling signs. And that is kind of nice. I cant hide from her, and I don’t really want to hide from her because I trust her. She listens to me when I’m upset and she’s patient with my anxious and snowballing thoughts. She picks them apart for me and makes me realize how dumb they sound. She has saved my ass more times than I can count and I’m happy to say she’s the best mom I could have asked for.
Since my worst bouts of depression as a child I’ve also finally made friends. Made them in my sophomore year of high school. They invited me to sit with them at lunch because I was alone, and one of them had noticed I had been hanging out with a bit of a shady crowd and she wanted me away from them. now most of them are like brothers and sisters to me. Whenever I can’t pester my mom about my thoughts I let them hear it, and they always have good advice. I’m lucky, honestly. They just kind of fell into my life.
A support system matters. And that doesn’t have to be a bunch of people you know, or a support group. One person you can really trust to listen and care is usually enough.
Big rant, but I wanted to share.
This is a safe place to share. I’m happy you enjoyed the video :)
hey sending love your way man good luck with everything
Really love this message. I’ve been suffering from depression for a long time and still get a lot of depressive episodes even tho i wouldn’t say I have depression anymore. For the past weeks I’ve been taking walks at night. 2am around that time. I go into the city and just walk for hours and I’ve never been better. I just walk without a goal and it’s so freeing not having to think about where I’m going.
And if i don’t want to walk alone i walk around with my best friend who feels the same way about these walks. It’s the best of time. Silently walking, sometimes getting into deep conversations about life and the purpose of it. It’s so freeing. At night noone expects anything from you because noone is there.
Keep it up man you’re doing great
I’m happy the walking works for you :) it helped me a lot too
thanks ^w^
❤❤❤
Hey man, I really apreciatte ur videos and you
Discord is definitely on the distant horizon for this community. Feels just a little early to get one started since my following is still quite small :), I’m happy you enjoyed it man
Oh i see Its alright, I believe in ur journey
You are beautiful my man...absolutely beautiful, through all the harsh winters and storms you went through, you are growing and flourishing into a beautiful bright colored flower, (Im gonna play some minecraft, do some art, and go out at night to take some pics and go for a walk to yk free my mind, i thank you).
I love your metaphor
man, when I searched up "Minecraft series" I did NOT think about this, love it Tho! hope you're okay and everything goes well for you.
Everything’s great! just ups and downs as usual haha
Dude how is this sub-200 views? I legit thought it was over 10k at the least. I wish you the best of luck❤️
my wife says she loves your content!
Hey Man I appreciate these videos. I know you aren’t this RUclipsr with a lot of followers but just know that your videos give me a little sense of relief in this world. also what are your shaders called, it really does make the game look so beautiful.
Complementary Shaders :)
this is out of place but your sound is soo soothinggg
not at all :) do u mean the sound of the whole video?
@@LeKaixen both i think you should try podcast
that's a good idea! I'll keep it in mind as a future endeavor
Kaixen? more like KaiZen
War crimes
Thank you very much 💀
@@LeKaixen your welcome
Human rights? Never heard of it