I made the decision to remove people from my life that either stress me out or that don't show up for me the way I show up for them. I've also made the decision to get out of debt...again...but for good this time. Basically, I've decided to put me and my needs first.
Getting Dressed.... Such a wonderful way to redefine a sense of purpose. What if we shifted our thinking from 'dressing to impress' to 'self care'? Showing up for yourself is practicing gratitude because you are demonstrating/agreeing that you are ready to do great things. You show up worthy. ( I'm deserving). If everyone shared this practice we'd confidently move through each day with the knowledge that our contributions are valuable.
The most important decision I've made is: Stop accepting bad behaviour...In other words: people can only do to you what you allow them to do......I will no longer be verbally abused, physically...mentally..emotionally, socially or financially etc...NO MORE...I AM DONE...(end rant, LOL)
I'm 56 yrs old. I made the decision to be alright with myself on my 21st birthday. I could not live the life people wanted me to and am the free spirit of my family and they know I'm gonna do me always.......Be well love.
Getting dressed is the HARDEST thing to do while managing depression. I felt so fat, ugly, and far away from myself that I just want to cover up all the time and my around and not shower. It was aweful. The thing that helped me was posting my morning routine on my night stand. 1. Prayer. 2. Take a shower 3. Put on underwear and clean clothes 4. Eat at least one bowl of oatmeal and drink 16 ounces of water. 5. One hour gratitude practice. I made it my goal to do those 5 things everyday. Some days I did all five most days I didn’t. But for me it was about not having to think about what I had to do next. All I had to do was look at my list and check them off as I went. It was very difficult but it was worth it every day. Thank you so much for watching and commenting. Do my mind me asking are you in therapy? Therapy helped me tremendously.
I WAS in therapy up until 2009 but I stopped going cuz I thought I was ok. This year I started reflecting on the "part" i played in occurrences in my past and started to take responsibility for my actions. TD JAKES videos help me and most recently your videos have been helping me too. I really appreciate all you do. I was considering starting a YT channel too but the name I wanted was taken😢 so I have to think of another name. I don't want to use my name.
I have a long story... like a soap opera, scenario after scenario. after living in a van for about 6 months, then moving into my son's apt , then into an apt with my boyfriend... I haven't gotten back into taking daily showers again. Even after a year in our apt. I will save this video.. I like your evening routine. I need to start showering at night. Right now it's just on the weekends and I use wipes during the week, unless it's reallllly hot.
Loved your #4. Here is my list: 1. Creating a gratitude jar. It's pretty stacked with notes at month seven, 2. Finally doing the debt snowball for real, 3. reading at least 1 book per month, 4. finally limiting Instragram access to Friday after work through Sunday only, 5. Increase income with side hustles, no matter how small, and 6. Increasing I.T. skillset so that I can eventually get a 100% remote job and travel for extended periods of time, or whenever I want!!
What I have been doing the last years is studing: I am training to be a counsellor at the end of this year ( and I will be 61 years old) and right now I am working a lot in myself: self acceptance and letting go of sorrow and unhapiness. Thank you very much for your videos.
Great video !! 11/8 was my last day as the Director of a non profit agency. I resigned a week before returning from medical leave. My goal was to only be in that role for 24 months -good time to have it on resume- and move on. Well 24 months came and went. I had not quite done all i would have preferred to prepare to resign yet i was adamant enough to resign anyway knowing i had contract part time work i could adjust to earn pay.... less than 70k a year yet managing what i could earn (upwards to that if i wanted) was my foot stool and launching pad emotionally and mentally. In 2018 I also... cut off most of my family that presumed that because i owned a home, 3 degrees and had a job that i was the go to in their money emergency situations. I helped for years due to children being involved. They are all grown now ( except 1 who is 15 and now well cared for by her bio dad) This has been soooo beautiful for my emotional health. And i attended therapy in 2018! As a therapist myself it’s necessary. I’m empathic and seeing my own therapist helped me stay sane for the work I’m excited to do with others. In 2018 i grew my two businesses more and got rid of the nervousness of CHARGING for my services. I built my price list and stick to it.
This is so awesome so many great decision!! Each choice adding up to a beautifullife! I’m so happy for you! Thank you so much for watching and commenting. 💜
I can see some people 'side-eyeing' the mention of therapy, but if it works for you, do it. I've done it before because it was a need at that time. We need to take care of all aspects of our health. Your decisions are what improved your life, and they may be different from mine or anyone else's. I'm happy that you are doing what you need to do for your wellbeing now and long-term. I hear you on getting dressed, even though it sounds basic- there is a mental change with it.
I found that most things that most life/improving decisions are basic. For example... get dressed, Budget my money, eat healthy, drink water, rest etc... it s amazing how hard it is for human beings to do basic stuff. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
I watched this a few years ago and thought it was good advice, but it didn't hit my spirit the way it does right now!! Monday, I paused the video, got up, took a shower, put on a cute outfit and have made the decision to show up for myself!! I have felt a huge shift in my mood and done some of my best work this week. So simple, but life changing!!
They are coming. My kitchen is a mess right now as I’m trying find my rhythm and flow in the space. But more food related content is coming. Thank you for watching and commenting.
Stacey, I honestly can't believe I only recently found your page. You are such an incredibly beautiful and genuine soul- so inspiring! While watching your videos and listening to your podcasts, your transparency has brought me to tears more times than I can count. I am not exaggerating when I say that your advice has been life changing for me. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. Please know that the way you choose to use your platform is helping so many people- I am one of those lucky people! Thank you!
You are beautiful "anyway" but you look really pretty in yellow! Thanks for sharing your decisions. I think you are very brave to be so open & share your journey so that others can cope/grow but ultimate know that they are not alone.
Your last two points hit home for me! I love my the "alone" time I have while shopping for seasonal updates to my wardrobe. I be sure to periodically donate the clothes back so that I don't amass too much clutter. This provides another opportunity to process my thoughts (i.e. how I felt while wearing what, history behind each garment). Even down to my pajamas I like to keep it nice. The last piece is something my friends and mom laugh at me for. But, the way I feel about my TIME and SOLITUDE! People just don't understand how much I love myself (on my good days).
Oh Stacey!! I had to stop your video to make this comment. I am so happy that you actually expressed my feelings about being single and launching a business! I am single! I don’t have a husband to help me with this that and the other! And it is so frustrating to have to forgive that ignorance and lack of discernment all the time... it seems my married peers do not get it! I’m happy for them that they have that support but not everyone shares their experience in that regard! 🤨 so thank you!
Ok last note .. to you😉 I respect your decision to work part-time.. it gives you guarantee time and money while working on your career. You can do it!! and thank you so much for giving me the ok to focus on what's important!!
THE ABSOLUTE BEST GIFT!!! I just don't think people understand how great of an investment therapy is. It's like if you invest in therapy everything improves. Thank you so much for watching and commenting!
I have just recently decided not to let toxic people have control or affect my life. It's not a reflection on me how badly someone behaves but on them.
Getting dressed: this is surprisingly difficult for me; it’s crazy how depression and pervasive thoughts can dominate to the point where you feel it’s not even worth getting dressed or showering today, tomorrow, this weekend etc because “I’m not gonna leave the house anyway..”
All my love to you during this hard time. My experience is that this too shall pass. It's time to rest, you will eventually understand what life is telling you, and will come out stronger. 💙
Inspirational video Stacey! Thank you! Oh and I do agree about the "attraction" thing but I'm not sure you meant it in a supernatural way. I believe it has more to do with certain people being drawn to your personality and you filtering toxic people, than "attraction in a supernatural way". Cause none of us are exempt from being deceived or betrayed. When I started showing up for myself, the new friends I made were consciously selected, if they showed signs of being toxic or unsupportive they were ditched. So when I had a lot of issues this year, 90% of my friends showed up and helped me in incredible ways. The 10% were of course, ditched due to their behavior.
2nd note to self & u of course... decisions... I dream big and I learned from many, including TD JAKES that I need to be "a virtuous woman " to be a better me. And watching your videos as a single woman and mom (who doesn't have custody of her son as I don't) it makes me want to be an even better me, so I can one day be a better mom to both of my sons.
I commend you for wanting to be a better mom to your boys! TD Jakes is an amazing teacher!!! What I’ve learned in becoming the Mom I dream of being is that I have to define what that Men’s to me and for my son. I have to acknowledge my limitations. I have to honor the fact that God have me my child to guide and he knows what I’m capable of so I I’m everyfeeling like I’m not doing enough or doing things right to seek God for guidance. 💜🙏🏾
Love your list! I am very similar. My only 2 changes are I will only works in industries I have passion for and I give myself time to create. I allow myself rest, true rest, when I need it. I can't be responsible for everyone and everything anymore.
Wow...that is a gem...the Willingness to be Misunderstood. I love that. I am taking away a lot with that concept. After watching a recent video of yours (My Sick and Tired Moment) I feel that I *GET* where you are coming from ...that was a raw and honest message.
You go girl, I love your transparency. You are empowering me to really search my heart to see what I want to do. Keep up the great work. You are amazing!
I made the decision to stop caring about what people think about my process and ultimate goal to become debt free and to send my son to college prayerfully without loans.
You talk about working part time in all your videos. Like you said, because of the you get push back but until now I did not realize what you are truly doing. I work full time in addition to my business. When you say you work part time, that is in addition to the building work you are doing on your company. I assure you, if you added up the time you are spending on your business building, creating, and foundation work, you are working full time. Give yourself credit for it. My primary employment outside my business is a means of allowing us to have a family business, benefits and such. It is not always where my heart wants to be.
It’s so awesome to hear that you are working on your business too! I want to clarify that I work quarter time in my business so about 10-15 hours a week and I work 15-20 hours at my part-time job. I do not work full-time when I add up all my hours. The max per week is about 30 hours. I do understand how it can be perceived as full-time because I get a lot done but I am very careful with my time. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
You are working full time though. You are just spending half the time working on your own businesses. Thank you for continuing to inspire. I truly enjoy your honesty and your videos. 😊
I’m not working full-time. I work a max of 30 hours a week. I stress this because I want to clear about my work output. Thank you so much for wathcknfnsnd commenting.
I made a decision to live way below the lifestyle of peers to begin to reach my end goal of becoming a millionaire. I also made a decision to go from working 5 days a week to 4 days a week to be able to work on my next dream.
My most important decision has been to accept that it's not my responsibility to have the life that OTHERS want for me! 😁 I've got to start the getting dress habit (I'm guilty of pajamas all day if I'm off). 😕
You are such an inspiration 🥰🥰 ahh I have been binge watching all your videos since stumbling upon your ted talk. Love love love your optimism, wisdom and pure passion and authenticity that you share in all your videos. Sending you so much love all the way from Sydney, Australia. Thank you for providing me with so much motivation and guidance, keep up the great work !! 🥰🧚✨
Thank you for filling this gap in the money mgmt.. debt relief... simplicity market you were definitely needed 👏👏👏 therapy is a game changer but its hard you have to be mentally prepared for the process but when you are it def can help in so many ways. It helped me show up for myself bc im learning to be my own cheerleader my biggest advocate instead of waiting for other ppl to show up for me. Taking pride in yourself i think is important it changes things that energy definitely affects things.
I love how you can put EXACTLY what I feel into words which makes me feel less crazy. I currently work part time at a hospital. I have zero desire to grow with the company but have been there b/c it provides an ok income and allows me the freedom to work on my own business while I’m there. My manager has tried to push me into more involved roles that I’ve declined every time. I am very certain of my purpose and am working towards that. I hate seeming all fan girl in the comments but you always hit the nail on the head!
Lol, fan girl away. You hit the nail on the head with your comments they are so encouraging and reassuring to work. I understand how difficult it can be to stand and say...”hey I’m choosing to work part-time, I don’t want a raise, more hours, etc” I want to do the job I applied for. So many people assume that there is only one way to work for some else (aka FULL-Time) and one way to entrepreneur (aka FULL-Time) those people are wrong. We each get to decide how we will fulfill our ourposes and if working part-time is enough than that’s how I’m going to work. I’m happy my work is validating what you know to be true for you!! 💜
I believe working just part-time for some people can be a perfect recipe for happiness, and also as you were stating for using creativity in the other areas of your life instead of getting burnt out and using it all at one full-time job. May I ask though, how you get health coverage with just a part-time job? I guess that is the only major downside that I see - no judgement here- I am very motivated and inspired by your path, and appreciate all of the videos.
I have private healthcare. I called Blue Cross/Blue Shield and worked with an agent to get something to cover basic medical and prescription. So I pay $102.31 monthly for my healthcare. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
Thank you so much for sharing. I have been on a journey and iam very transparent with my struggle but sometimes feel ashamed after but i do feel healing after!!
Yes. Currently a MFA student but I have told myself that I only want to work pt when I finish...I have received strange looks from my peers and teacher that I have said this to but I know it will be for the best...so that I can focus on my Art..(which includes writing, designing and creating)...Misunderstanding yes I have to adopt that one 2019 and start to use it for the balance of 2018...Financial documentation yep will need to understand this as I have SL to repay...Thanks for the video
Wow, thank you for your honesty. There's so much that I can say but I'll simply say that your journey is one that many take a lifetime to embark on if they ever are able to understand or find that happy place. Thank you for sharing your process and know that you are an inspiration!
Stacey, I love this video! I particularly love the idea of getting dressed everyday. I work from home and it so easy to "let yourself go". I notice a HUGE difference when I dress for the day and I want to do it more often - but all I have is yoga pants!!! LOL. This is something I'm seriously working on and am trying to be very thoughtful about it. This video really helps. Thank you! As for the decisions I've made, they are: to set actionable goals and review and write them down daily and to create a vision board for them. I've also decided to practice intuitive eating and to tune out the noise of what one "should and shouldn't" eat. Finally, I've made the decision to eliminate "Should" and "Shouldn't" from my life. It causes me to make inauthentic and bad decisions, it also makes me unhappy and is a trigger for bad habits. Your videos are a real inspiration to help me identify the areas I want to work on and I'm so grateful for them. I can't wait to see where our journeys lead us! xoxox
Cheers to working from home! It’s funny because I don’t think anyone’s dream of working from home was because we wanted to let ourselves go. I think it happens because we are not taught to show up for ourselves. We are taught to get dress for everyone else but ourselves. It’s been so transformative for me to get dressed every day in my business and for my mental health. I’m so excited to e on this journey with you too! Those are some amazing decisions! I can’t wait To see where the end of the year brings you!!!!
Decisions I've made : no more feeding the diet culture (eating healthy yes, starving no), Total Money Makeover documented (but not on camera haha), practice self-care everyday (which is the same as looking good I guess), do a freelance job I love (in the process of opening the biz, wish me luck).
I think the theme through all the decisions is showing up for YOU. bettering YOUR life first. between working part time, getting dressed, and therapy your are choosing yourself and coming out better for it
I like this video. I don't want anyone to come for me, but... I love showing up looking good (clothes). I feel good looking good. I have spent alot on clothes this year (work outfits only) and out of everything else I don't know how to curb this.
Living life on purpose. I lived by whim. But though I'm nearing 40 I know it's not to late to start doing the right thing. Thanks for being obedient to your calling Stacy Flowers. And yes I remembered the like button ;)
Thank you for deciding to share! I just started watching a few days ago and I am clicking SUBSCRIBE bc you show practical ways of actually the finacial knowledge... and while still being flyy! 😉 lol thanks Queen!
I have also committed myself to only work part-time for the same reason as you. I would like to grow my business as a personal trainer. I have decided not to have the words, thoughts, feelings, actions, and past deeds of myself and others to put me in a state of fear, worry, doubt, or pain. (See God's Love Bank by Dr. Tony Roach). I am surrounding myself with people who can help me move forward in life. I have committed myself to make healthier mind and body choices.
I've decided that as an intercessor, I have the power to command change in me and my circumstances. Plus being the "victim" got tired REAL QUICK, so not only making the decision to pray is helping, but pouring into others whether small group, friends or family helped take my eyes off of me (pride) which which was the product of depression. Process is not easy, but when you embrace your purpose, then promise WILL chase you down. 😉
Great tips. I hit exhaustion it really help me make some life changes. Eatting healthy really helped, saying no and working on self improvement. Thats great what your doing. I think working part time is great plan ! Thank you for educated shares
♥ I am so happy that I found your channel ♥ You remind me of me and the similarities are endless. I also struggled with trying to find a "single" approach to getting out of debt as well as transparency. I also admire you because I am constantly asked about my "happy" and I seem to inspire yet if people knew I had financial planning/budgeting issues would that take away from my "credibility" with them? ☺ Thank god for you ♥
You are beautiful both in and out. Happiness is the best measure of success. In my opinion. I got sick too, still am. Without my can't I'd be dead. You are so strong!
Absolutely! I hope people pick up on my not so hidden agenda. I love God and believe he is sovereign of my life but that does not mean I don’t believe in therapy. It breaks my heart how many believers are in real psychology pain and feel like they can’t seek therapeutic help without betraying their faith. I’m here to demistfy that lie. It’s destroying people and churches world wide. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
My 1st comment cuz I know I will say more when watch more after 3:33 Lol... misunderstanding.. I like the Dave Ramsey steps but I'm down to my last two debts (student loan 3,000 + @ 2.38% & credit card 6,767 @ 26.24%) I chose credit card $3,000 @tax time cuz that works better for me! .. ok back to your video😉
I decided to remove ppl that flaunt luxury material items but live with debt or with their parents. I know it's wrong to judge but I can't see that because I want to remind myself that isn't smart living. I don't want to see or hear about the new gucci bag you bought when I have this rent and bills. Call it jealousy or whatever. I need to not have it in my face in this season.
I disagree with the showing up for yourself in the area of support attracts support. Bcus i have been selfmade and did EVERYTHING TO IMPROVE MY LIFE BY MYSELF. Most Ppl only care when it benefits them. When your needs dont benefit them they distance themselves. I was always the one who dod everytg for others, share my last, give rides, share my home and food and when i lost my job, my car , my income. I cant get a damn ride to get meds
I hear what your saying... but what I’m saying is show up for yourself. What you did was “show up for other people” you don’t become a magnet for support by supporting other people. You become a magnet for support by supporting yourself. Let’s just say instead of doing all the stuff you did for other people at the expense of yourself you did it for yourself and did nothing for other my best guess is you’d be in a much healthier place emotionally and financially right now. You didn’t attract supportive people you attracted people who needed support. Those are two different points of attraction. And based on what you shared in your comment your attraction point of needing support attracted people who needed support. I hope that’s Clarifying. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
4th n last note .. I hope lol .. work and business.. my boss just retired, and I was thinking of asking him to be my mentor for my business (May or may not be the same type of biz) but I'm scared
Have you watched my TED Talk? If not just google Stacey Flowers TED Talk. In my talk I share that the true purpose of a mentor is to point you in the right direction. So I you believe your former boss can point you in the right direction for the next phase of your life ... then ask him. However if you just want to be his mentee because you want to have access to what he’s retired from then do not as him to be your mentor. Mentoring it a lot of work for the mentorbut especially the mentee! I hope that helps.
Yes I need to watch your Ted talk again, but your advice is eye opening cuz I initially wanted him to be my mentor for my sewing biz but recently I was thinking of a transportation biz (his expertise) so I will keep your advice if I move forward with my request🤔. Thank you😃
An LPC is Licensed Professional Couselor. So there are several ways to become a Therapist and getting an LPC is one way. But you could also be a social worker (like Brene Brown) or become a psychologist or psychiatrist etc. I just wanted to clarify that my therapist is an LPC she may not have the highest certification but she is the perfect therapist for me.
You seem to be stuck in a negative place based on your comments. You keep mentioning a genocide etc. when you go to God about those experiences what does he say to you?
I made the decision to remove people from my life that either stress me out or that don't show up for me the way I show up for them. I've also made the decision to get out of debt...again...but for good this time. Basically, I've decided to put me and my needs first.
I made the same decision recently. It’s so freeing!
Getting Dressed.... Such a wonderful way to redefine a sense of purpose. What if we shifted our thinking from 'dressing to impress' to 'self care'? Showing up for yourself is practicing gratitude because you are demonstrating/agreeing that you are ready to do great things. You show up worthy. ( I'm deserving). If everyone shared this practice we'd confidently move through each day with the knowledge that our contributions are valuable.
Agreed!!! Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
Janet M...well spoken
The most important decision I've made is: Stop accepting bad behaviour...In other words: people can only do to you what you allow them to do......I will no longer be verbally abused, physically...mentally..emotionally, socially or financially etc...NO MORE...I AM DONE...(end rant, LOL)
Very encouraging!
Same here
Amayah Yisrael Amen..
That’s is an amazing DECISION!!! Thank you so much for sharing it!!
Miriam Turner thank you, Miriam
I'm 56 yrs old. I made the decision to be alright with myself on my 21st birthday. I could not live the life people wanted me to and am the free spirit of my family and they know I'm gonna do me always.......Be well love.
Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
Wow 3rd note: I suffer from depression and "getting dressed" is one of my issues
Getting dressed is the HARDEST thing to do while managing depression. I felt so fat, ugly, and far away from myself that I just want to cover up all the time and my around and not shower. It was aweful. The thing that helped me was posting my morning routine on my night stand. 1. Prayer. 2. Take a shower 3. Put on underwear and clean clothes 4. Eat at least one bowl of oatmeal and drink 16 ounces of water. 5. One hour gratitude practice.
I made it my goal to do those 5 things everyday. Some days I did all five most days I didn’t. But for me it was about not having to think about what I had to do next. All I had to do was look at my list and check them off as I went. It was very difficult but it was worth it every day. Thank you so much for watching and commenting. Do my mind me asking are you in therapy? Therapy helped me tremendously.
I WAS in therapy up until 2009 but I stopped going cuz I thought I was ok. This year I started reflecting on the "part" i played in occurrences in my past and started to take responsibility for my actions. TD JAKES videos help me and most recently your videos have been helping me too. I really appreciate all you do. I was considering starting a YT channel too but the name I wanted was taken😢 so I have to think of another name. I don't want to use my name.
I have a long story... like a soap opera, scenario after scenario. after living in a van for about 6 months, then moving into my son's apt , then into an apt with my boyfriend... I haven't gotten back into taking daily showers again. Even after a year in our apt. I will save this video.. I like your evening routine. I need to start showering at night. Right now it's just on the weekends and I use wipes during the week, unless it's reallllly hot.
Loved your #4. Here is my list: 1. Creating a gratitude jar. It's pretty stacked with notes at month seven, 2. Finally doing the debt snowball for real, 3. reading at least 1 book per month, 4. finally limiting Instragram access to Friday after work through Sunday only, 5. Increase income with side hustles, no matter how small, and 6. Increasing I.T. skillset so that I can eventually get a 100% remote job and travel for extended periods of time, or whenever I want!!
Wow!!! These are some powerful decisions! I can not wait to hear about how your year turns out!!!
What I have been doing the last years is studing: I am training to be a counsellor at the end of this year ( and I will be 61 years old) and right now I am working a lot in myself: self acceptance and letting go of sorrow and unhapiness. Thank you very much for your videos.
That's awesome!
Thanks for your transparency. You are an inspiration. 😊
Thank you 💜
Great video !! 11/8 was my last day as the Director of a non profit agency. I resigned a week before returning from medical leave. My goal was to only be in that role for 24 months -good time to have it on resume- and move on. Well 24 months came and went. I had not quite done all i would have preferred to prepare to resign yet i was adamant enough to resign anyway knowing i had contract part time work i could adjust to earn pay.... less than 70k a year yet managing what i could earn (upwards to that if i wanted) was my foot stool and launching pad emotionally and mentally.
In 2018 I also... cut off most of my family that presumed that because i owned a home, 3 degrees and had a job that i was the go to in their money emergency situations. I helped for years due to children being involved. They are all grown now ( except 1 who is 15 and now well cared for by her bio dad) This has been soooo beautiful for my emotional health. And i attended therapy in 2018! As a therapist myself it’s necessary. I’m empathic and seeing my own therapist helped me stay sane for the work I’m excited to do with others.
In 2018 i grew my two businesses more and got rid of the nervousness of CHARGING for my services. I built my price list and stick to it.
This is so awesome so many great decision!! Each choice adding up to a beautifullife! I’m so happy for you! Thank you so much for watching and commenting. 💜
I can see some people 'side-eyeing' the mention of therapy, but if it works for you, do it. I've done it before because it was a need at that time. We need to take care of all aspects of our health. Your decisions are what improved your life, and they may be different from mine or anyone else's. I'm happy that you are doing what you need to do for your wellbeing now and long-term. I hear you on getting dressed, even though it sounds basic- there is a mental change with it.
I found that most things that most life/improving decisions are basic. For example... get dressed, Budget my money, eat healthy, drink water, rest etc... it s amazing how hard it is for human beings to do basic stuff. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
Therapy is essential. It's 2018. There are meds and methods to get mentally well now. It's great time to deal with our baggage!
I watched this a few years ago and thought it was good advice, but it didn't hit my spirit the way it does right now!!
Monday, I paused the video, got up, took a shower, put on a cute outfit and have made the decision to show up for myself!! I have felt a huge shift in my mood and done some of my best work this week. So simple, but life changing!!
Please please please do more of your what
I eat in a day videos I love those
They are coming. My kitchen is a mess right now as I’m trying find my rhythm and flow in the space. But more food related content is coming. Thank you for watching and commenting.
Stacey,
I honestly can't believe I only recently found your page. You are such an incredibly beautiful and genuine soul- so inspiring! While watching your videos and listening to your podcasts, your transparency has brought me to tears more times than I can count. I am not exaggerating when I say that your advice has been life changing for me. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. Please know that the way you choose to use your platform is helping so many people- I am one of those lucky people!
Thank you!
I appreciate your use of words. I have made the decision that it is "okay to embrace my crazy". I like how you say "it is okay to be misunderstood"
Words are so powerful! I’m glad my word choices are helping you! Thank you so much for watching and commenting!
You are beautiful "anyway" but you look really pretty in yellow! Thanks for sharing your decisions. I think you are very brave to be so open & share your journey so that others can cope/grow but ultimate know that they are not alone.
Thank you so much! Thank you for watching and commenting.
Your last two points hit home for me! I love my the "alone" time I have while shopping for seasonal updates to my wardrobe. I be sure to periodically donate the clothes back so that I don't amass too much clutter. This provides another opportunity to process my thoughts (i.e. how I felt while wearing what, history behind each garment). Even down to my pajamas I like to keep it nice. The last piece is something my friends and mom laugh at me for. But, the way I feel about my TIME and SOLITUDE! People just don't understand how much I love myself (on my good days).
Oh Stacey!! I had to stop your video to make this comment. I am so happy that you actually expressed my feelings about being single and launching a business! I am single! I don’t have a husband to help me with this that and the other! And it is so frustrating to have to forgive that ignorance and lack of discernment all the time... it seems my married peers do not get it! I’m happy for them that they have that support but not everyone shares their experience in that regard! 🤨 so thank you!
It literally like we live on different planets! So happy to inspire us single ladies on this beautiful journey called life!
Ok last note .. to you😉 I respect your decision to work part-time.. it gives you guarantee time and money while working on your career. You can do it!! and thank you so much for giving me the ok to focus on what's important!!
You can make as many comments as you want... I love love reading them! Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
Thanks for the inspiration, maybe i should consider telling the truth for the first time ever!
Telling the truth to yourself and others will IMPROVE your life for the BETTER! 💜 Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
Mental health should be everyone's priority, just as physical health is. Therapy is the best gift you can give to yourself.
THE ABSOLUTE BEST GIFT!!! I just don't think people understand how great of an investment therapy is. It's like if you invest in therapy everything improves. Thank you so much for watching and commenting!
I have just recently decided not to let toxic people have control or affect my life. It's not a reflection on me how badly someone behaves but on them.
Getting dressed: this is surprisingly difficult for me; it’s crazy how depression and pervasive thoughts can dominate to the point where you feel it’s not even worth getting dressed or showering today, tomorrow, this weekend etc because “I’m not gonna leave the house anyway..”
All my love to you during this hard time. My experience is that this too shall pass. It's time to rest, you will eventually understand what life is telling you, and will come out stronger. 💙
Elena S thank you for your kind response, I pray for that daily..
Inspirational video Stacey! Thank you! Oh and I do agree about the "attraction" thing but I'm not sure you meant it in a supernatural way. I believe it has more to do with certain people being drawn to your personality and you filtering toxic people, than "attraction in a supernatural way". Cause none of us are exempt from being deceived or betrayed. When I started showing up for myself, the new friends I made were consciously selected, if they showed signs of being toxic or unsupportive they were ditched. So when I had a lot of issues this year, 90% of my friends showed up and helped me in incredible ways. The 10% were of course, ditched due to their behavior.
2nd note to self & u of course... decisions... I dream big and I learned from many, including TD JAKES that I need to be "a virtuous woman " to be a better me. And watching your videos as a single woman and mom (who doesn't have custody of her son as I don't) it makes me want to be an even better me, so I can one day be a better mom to both of my sons.
I commend you for wanting to be a better mom to your boys! TD Jakes is an amazing teacher!!! What I’ve learned in becoming the Mom I dream of being is that I have to define what that Men’s to me and for my son. I have to acknowledge my limitations. I have to honor the fact that God have me my child to guide and he knows what I’m capable of so I I’m everyfeeling like I’m not doing enough or doing things right to seek God for guidance. 💜🙏🏾
❤
Thank you so much for everything you do 😉😍
Love your list! I am very similar. My only 2 changes are I will only works in industries I have passion for and I give myself time to create. I allow myself rest, true rest, when I need it. I can't be responsible for everyone and everything anymore.
Wow...that is a gem...the Willingness to be Misunderstood. I love that. I am taking away a lot with that concept. After watching a recent video of yours (My Sick and Tired Moment) I feel that I *GET* where you are coming from ...that was a raw and honest message.
You go girl, I love your transparency. You are empowering me to really search my heart to see what I want to do. Keep up the great work. You are amazing!
I have realized that if I have MY OWN back it does not matter what others do it do not do
I made the decision to stop caring about what people think about my process and ultimate goal to become debt free and to send my son to college prayerfully without loans.
You talk about working part time in all your videos. Like you said, because of the you get push back but until now I did not realize what you are truly doing. I work full time in addition to my business. When you say you work part time, that is in addition to the building work you are doing on your company. I assure you, if you added up the time you are spending on your business building, creating, and foundation work, you are working full time. Give yourself credit for it. My primary employment outside my business is a means of allowing us to have a family business, benefits and such. It is not always where my heart wants to be.
It’s so awesome to hear that you are working on your business too! I want to clarify that I work quarter time in my business so about 10-15 hours a week and I work 15-20 hours at my part-time job. I do not work full-time when I add up all my hours. The max per week is about 30 hours. I do understand how it can be perceived as full-time because I get a lot done but I am very careful with my time. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
You are working full time though. You are just spending half the time working on your own businesses. Thank you for continuing to inspire. I truly enjoy your honesty and your videos. 😊
I’m not working full-time. I work a max of 30 hours a week. I stress this because I want to clear about my work output. Thank you so much for wathcknfnsnd commenting.
Stacy you are definitely the epitome of beautiful! beautiful inside and out! thank you for this video and all your videos! such an inspiration..
Thank you for the compliments! You are so very welcome for the video. Thank you for taking the time to watch and comment. 💜
I made a decision to live way below the lifestyle of peers to begin to reach my end goal of becoming a millionaire. I also made a decision to go from working 5 days a week to 4 days a week to be able to work on my next dream.
My most important decision has been to accept that it's not my responsibility to have the life that OTHERS want for me! 😁 I've got to start the getting dress habit (I'm guilty of pajamas all day if I'm off). 😕
BOOM! Way too many people are living what other people want them to live! It's so exhausting! Great great great decision!
You are such an inspiration 🥰🥰 ahh I have been binge watching all your videos since stumbling upon your ted talk. Love love love your optimism, wisdom and pure passion and authenticity that you share in all your videos. Sending you so much love all the way from Sydney, Australia. Thank you for providing me with so much motivation and guidance, keep up the great work !! 🥰🧚✨
Thank you for filling this gap in the money mgmt.. debt relief... simplicity market you were definitely needed 👏👏👏 therapy is a game changer but its hard you have to be mentally prepared for the process but when you are it def can help in so many ways. It helped me show up for myself bc im learning to be my own cheerleader my biggest advocate instead of waiting for other ppl to show up for me. Taking pride in yourself i think is important it changes things that energy definitely affects things.
I love how you can put EXACTLY what I feel into words which makes me feel less crazy. I currently work part time at a hospital. I have zero desire to grow with the company but have been there b/c it provides an ok income and allows me the freedom to work on my own business while I’m there. My manager has tried to push me into more involved roles that I’ve declined every time. I am very certain of my purpose and am working towards that. I hate seeming all fan girl in the comments but you always hit the nail on the head!
Lol, fan girl away. You hit the nail on the head with your comments they are so encouraging and reassuring to work. I understand how difficult it can be to stand and say...”hey I’m choosing to work part-time, I don’t want a raise, more hours, etc” I want to do the job I applied for. So many people assume that there is only one way to work for some else (aka FULL-Time) and one way to entrepreneur (aka FULL-Time) those people are wrong. We each get to decide how we will fulfill our ourposes and if working part-time is enough than that’s how I’m going to work. I’m happy my work is validating what you know to be true for you!! 💜
I love the "show up for yourself" tip.
Thank you so much for watching and commenting!!
amen to therapy.its very helpful.
Therapy is so amazing! Thank you for watching and commenting
Get dressed every day! 🤯 yes! Yes! Yes!
Do you show up for yourself! OMG! Those hit me hard, and we’re right on time! ❤️
When you said $11/hr my eyes got sooo wide. Thank you for your transparency. I’m so glad that I found your channel today
I believe working just part-time for some people can be a perfect recipe for happiness, and also as you were stating for using creativity in the other areas of your life instead of getting burnt out and using it all at one full-time job. May I ask though, how you get health coverage with just a part-time job? I guess that is the only major downside that I see - no judgement here- I am very motivated and inspired by your path, and appreciate all of the videos.
I have private healthcare. I called Blue Cross/Blue Shield and worked with an agent to get something to cover basic medical and prescription. So I pay $102.31 monthly for my healthcare. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
Thank you so much for sharing. I have been on a journey and iam very transparent with my struggle but sometimes feel ashamed after but i do feel healing after!!
You ooze positivity! You are so inspiring. I enjoy your content.
Thank you!
Yes. Currently a MFA student but I have told myself that I only want to work pt when I finish...I have received strange looks from my peers and teacher that I have said this to but I know it will be for the best...so that I can focus on my Art..(which includes writing, designing and creating)...Misunderstanding yes I have to adopt that one 2019 and start to use it for the balance of 2018...Financial documentation yep will need to understand this as I have SL to repay...Thanks for the video
Show up for YOURSELF! 👏👏👏
You absolutely must show up for yourself first! It changes everything!!!
Wow, thank you for your honesty. There's so much that I can say but I'll simply say that your journey is one that many take a lifetime to embark on if they ever are able to understand or find that happy place. Thank you for sharing your process and know that you are an inspiration!
You are so very very welcome! Thank you so much for watching and commenting!
Stacey, I love this video! I particularly love the idea of getting dressed everyday. I work from home and it so easy to "let yourself go". I notice a HUGE difference when I dress for the day and I want to do it more often - but all I have is yoga pants!!! LOL. This is something I'm seriously working on and am trying to be very thoughtful about it. This video really helps. Thank you! As for the decisions I've made, they are: to set actionable goals and review and write them down daily and to create a vision board for them. I've also decided to practice intuitive eating and to tune out the noise of what one "should and shouldn't" eat. Finally, I've made the decision to eliminate "Should" and "Shouldn't" from my life. It causes me to make inauthentic and bad decisions, it also makes me unhappy and is a trigger for bad habits. Your videos are a real inspiration to help me identify the areas I want to work on and I'm so grateful for them. I can't wait to see where our journeys lead us! xoxox
Cheers to working from home! It’s funny because I don’t think anyone’s dream of working from home was because we wanted to let ourselves go. I think it happens because we are not
taught to show up for ourselves. We are taught to get dress for everyone else but ourselves. It’s been so transformative for me to get dressed every day in my business and for my mental health. I’m so excited to e on this journey with you too! Those are some amazing decisions! I can’t wait
To see where the end of the year brings you!!!!
This video set me free!!
I'm happy to serve you!
I love the part about showing up for yourself. So true!
You're doing a great job Stacey!
Decisions I've made : no more feeding the diet culture (eating healthy yes, starving no), Total Money Makeover documented (but not on camera haha), practice self-care everyday (which is the same as looking good I guess), do a freelance job I love (in the process of opening the biz, wish me luck).
I think the theme through all the decisions is showing up for YOU. bettering YOUR life first.
between working part time, getting dressed, and therapy your are choosing yourself and coming out better for it
I like this video. I don't want anyone to come for me, but... I love showing up looking good (clothes). I feel good looking good. I have spent alot on clothes this year (work outfits only) and out of everything else I don't know how to curb this.
Wow...I haven’t gotten out of my sleep clothes unless I absolutely have to leave the house because it is so exhausting. I know exactly what you mean.
Show up for yourself🙌
Indeed! 💜
Living life on purpose. I lived by whim. But though I'm nearing 40 I know it's not to late to start doing the right thing. Thanks for being obedient to your calling Stacy Flowers. And yes I remembered the like button ;)
This video came at the perfect time. Thank you
Thank you for deciding to share! I just started watching a few days ago and I am clicking SUBSCRIBE bc you show practical ways of actually the finacial knowledge... and while still being flyy! 😉 lol thanks Queen!
Respect.
I have also committed myself to only work part-time for the same reason as you. I would like to grow my business as a personal trainer. I have decided not to have the words, thoughts, feelings, actions, and past deeds of myself and others to put me in a state of fear, worry, doubt, or pain. (See God's Love Bank by Dr. Tony Roach). I am surrounding myself with people who can help me move forward in life. I have committed myself to make healthier mind and body choices.
Stay with what works for you. Enjoy the time you share. Many blessings.
Thank you for the inspiration.
You are so very welcome!
Still watching, but nice top! Timing for this topic is on point for me. Merci!
Yes, it's a lovely top.
Thank you 😊
Thank you 😊
Thank you for this 😭😅😆 I'm in process as well
I've decided that as an intercessor, I have the power to command change in me and my circumstances. Plus being the "victim" got tired REAL QUICK, so not only making the decision to pray is helping, but pouring into others whether small group, friends or family helped take my eyes off of me (pride) which which was the product of depression. Process is not easy, but when you embrace your purpose, then promise WILL chase you down. 😉
Dre Day Yes to all of this!!! Amazing emotional work.
So glad your decision are improving your life!!! Whoop! Whoop!
The shape of your head is very important when you’re choosing certain hair styles🤷♀️
Great tips. I hit exhaustion it really help me make some life changes. Eatting healthy really helped, saying no and working on self improvement. Thats great what your doing. I think working part time is great plan ! Thank you for educated shares
You are so very welcome! Exhaustion is a horrible experience. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
You are so wonderful!
Thank you oh so very much!
♥ I am so happy that I found your channel ♥ You remind me of me and the similarities are endless. I also struggled with trying to find a "single" approach to getting out of debt as well as transparency. I also admire you because I am constantly asked about my "happy" and I seem to inspire yet if people knew I had financial planning/budgeting issues would that take away from my "credibility" with them? ☺ Thank god for you ♥
So so so happy you found my channel!!! Thank you for taking the time to watch and comment.
Stacey Flowers Thank you for replying back ♥
You are beautiful both in and out. Happiness is the best measure of success. In my opinion. I got sick too, still am. Without my can't I'd be dead. You are so strong!
Without my family I wrote.
Thank you so much!
Just love u. So glad I found you
You are my role model. Thanks for being you!
Awesome video!
Thank you!
God created humans that have a special heart to help his people i their time of need #💜God people Therapeutic help
Absolutely! I hope people pick up on my not so hidden agenda. I love God and believe he is sovereign of my life but that does not mean I don’t believe in therapy. It breaks my heart how many believers are in real psychology pain and feel like they can’t seek therapeutic help without betraying their faith. I’m here to demistfy that lie. It’s destroying people and churches world wide. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
These were interesting and original so thank you for that.
My 1st comment cuz I know I will say more when watch more after 3:33 Lol... misunderstanding.. I like the Dave Ramsey steps but I'm down to my last two debts (student loan 3,000 + @ 2.38% & credit card 6,767 @ 26.24%) I chose credit card $3,000 @tax time cuz that works better for me! .. ok back to your video😉
💝💝 thank you!
You are so very welcome!!
Just found your channel tonight and have been binge-watching ever since. xo
I decided to remove ppl that flaunt luxury material items but live with debt or with their parents. I know it's wrong to judge but I can't see that because I want to remind myself that isn't smart living. I don't want to see or hear about the new gucci bag you bought when I have this rent and bills. Call it jealousy or whatever. I need to not have it in my face in this season.
I disagree with the showing up for yourself in the area of support attracts support. Bcus i have been selfmade and did EVERYTHING TO IMPROVE MY LIFE BY MYSELF. Most Ppl only care when it benefits them. When your needs dont benefit them they distance themselves. I was always the one who dod everytg for others, share my last, give rides, share my home and food and when i lost my job, my car , my income. I cant get a damn ride to get meds
I hear what your saying... but what I’m saying is show up for yourself. What you did was “show up for other people” you don’t become a magnet for support by supporting other people. You become a magnet for support by supporting yourself. Let’s just say instead of doing all the stuff you did for other people at the expense of yourself you did it for yourself and did nothing for other my best guess is you’d be in a much healthier place emotionally and financially right now.
You didn’t attract supportive people you attracted people who needed support. Those are two different points of attraction. And based on what you shared in your comment your attraction point of needing support attracted people who needed support. I hope that’s Clarifying. Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
When are you going to put up your July budget? I can't wait to see it with the emotional work you've done recently.
Tomorrow morning at 8AM! 🙌🏾 I’m excited about it too!
So maybe this experience brings more clarity to what "happiness" is, and not waiting for the perfect set of circumstances to be happy
True true! 💜
4th n last note .. I hope lol .. work and business.. my boss just retired, and I was thinking of asking him to be my mentor for my business (May or may not be the same type of biz) but I'm scared
Have you watched my TED Talk? If not just google Stacey Flowers TED Talk. In my talk I share that the true purpose of a mentor is to point you in the right direction. So I you believe your former boss can point you in the right direction for the next phase of your life ... then ask him. However if you just want to be his mentee because you want to have access to what he’s retired from then do not as him to be your mentor. Mentoring it a lot of work for the mentorbut especially the mentee! I hope that helps.
Yes I need to watch your Ted talk again, but your advice is eye opening cuz I initially wanted him to be my mentor for my sewing biz but recently I was thinking of a transportation biz (his expertise) so I will keep your advice if I move forward with my request🤔. Thank you😃
💚💚💚
You Go G I R L !! Goddess In Real Life!! Feedback...room is echoing...
Thank you!
What is an lpc
An LPC is Licensed Professional Couselor. So there are several ways to become a Therapist and getting an LPC is one way. But you could also be a social worker (like Brene Brown) or become a psychologist or psychiatrist etc. I just wanted to clarify that my therapist is an LPC she may not have the highest certification but she is the perfect therapist for me.
Thank you for explaining what an lpc is. No need to explain why you chose but thanks 😉
You are gorgeous!
Thank you!
Don't you have a law degree? Can't you at least get a part time job as a paralegal which would pay more than $11/hr.??
God is my therapist and he never charges me. I let go and let God. Great advertising for therapists.
You seem to be stuck in a negative place based on your comments. You keep mentioning a genocide etc. when you go to God about those experiences what does he say to you?