Took me YEARS to learn the value of that right there. My story is way too precious to be given to just anyone. Yet I gave it to anyone and everyone. Such is not the case anymore.
No that’s just living strategically in your head.. You can open up to anyone and those who can’t handle it, kick them to the curb!!! I’m honest and vulnerable with EVERYONE!!!
@@sobc2737 She's saying don't fake the vulnerability. Also, she seems to advise to bully others with vulnerability. I don't think it's wise to "lean in" like she says. It's better to just say what needs to be said and stand in your truth. Some people just have more to them then others. It's not a fault! Learning to kick people to the curb is a skill I'm still learning. Being honest with one's own vulnerability is a strength!
Agreed. I recently learned I lost a close friend to suicide and it’s been difficult to navigate. I’m generally rather transparent about my vulnerability, but I also had to learn about boundaries and protecting myself, especially regarding a sensitive topic as suicide. It’s caused me to end a friendship of sixteen years after I told him about losing my friend. The way he spoke to me was rather hurtful than comforting, and while I know ending the friendship has been a long time coming, it’s still very disappointing.
I always think of pain in a cup, and when our cup fills over too much we can overshare and not understand boundaries and spill that pain onto others....mostly unknowingly and sometimes not.
God sent. Thank you. "When you are in uncertainty, When you feel at risk When you feel exposed, Dont tap out. Stay brave, Stay uncomfortable, stay in the cringing moment, lean into the hard conversation and keep leading"
Yep.. I love many from that generation (my dad's generation).... strangely brene brown speaks with a somewhat harsh tone but I think that's because she is direct.
I need someone special in my life . I am extremely lonesome but at the same time im scared of people! I lived on the streets for a few years. Between the streets and how i was treated ( both by others and myself) i emotionally and spiritually am beaten and scareed pretty bad inside.. i need a real friend but dont remember what that looks like!😫
@@michaelvance1118I hope you are doing better! What I would say is, find a hobby that you enjoy and join a group for that hobby. You might need to try a few things before you find something that works. That way you'll probably find friends, and also find something fulfilling that you enjoy. External validation in the form of love and friendship feels great, but internal validation in the form of loving yourself is also essential!
Chuck Hockey yes I’ve been facing a lot of trials and tribulations with officially starting my business and one thing I had to learn was that Im on MY TIME no one else’s ! My time will come. Patience is key 🔑
"All I'm saying about vulnerability is that when you are in uncertainty, when you feel at risk, when you feel exposed, *don't tap out.* Stay brave, stay uncomfortable, stay in the cringey moment, lean into the hard conversation, and keep leading."
It's not about sharing or being vulnerable, it's about being honest - being emotionally honest and consequently transparent. Vulnerability is the "feeling" experienced while being honest but at the end of the day the goal is to be honest and risk it all for your truth, simple!
Vulnerability and honesty are not necessarily in the same space. I can be honest without being vulnerable. I cannot be vulnerable without being honest so we have a little ven diagram here
and just to add to that, if you have things you choose to keep private that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re enslaved. You can be free but not have total control.
Just read her book Daring Greatly and it’s a wonderful book. Unfortunately many companies still lead their employees and use fear and shame as “motivators”.
I love her but the vulnerability thing does not work in many companies. For example at the firm i work at, I have been an empathic leader that expresses vulnerability and shows empathy and kindness - the people I lead use it as a green light to attempt to trample me, shame me, and ambush me , particularly publicly and in meetings because they see vulnerability as weakness. They see it as an a opportunity to assert themselves over me. I now understand why most managers at the firm have an aggressive, no tolerance fear driving approach. People seriously have no respect or appreciation for a caring, empathic , strong leader that shows vulnerability.
@BellaZella3000 Boundaries are very important to have when being vulnerable. We must uphold the boundary of what we will or won't tolerate and communicate that as well.
Doesn’t make any sense: as this is what everyone does. My understanding of showing vulnerability as a strength is to express it in some way or through actions
When you are in uncerainty, at risk, exposed, stay brave, stay uncomfortable, lean into the hard conversation, and keep leading. Be aware of your armor and stay human.
@@hannahmiller7347 I'm also trying to understand what she said but my insight is that as humans we have emotions that lead us to feelings of vulnerability and by that we have to be aware of the fear that might want to shield us (the armor), perhaps by saying that to stay human is to accept these emotions instead of suppressing or discouraging them.. and still keeping some boundaries
Hannah Miller I think she means by staying human is that humans have negative emotions. Humans fail. And if we start to stumble or do something we find uncomfortable, don’t back away. Stay in whatever human moment that is, with our human emotions and feelings, and don’t shove it down, use or built up defense mechanism, etc.
Look at the sense of urgency combined with authenticity in the way she’s giving the message…she’s clearly doing what she was put here to do and we need to listen to her
What I have a hard time with is: how can you be truly vulnerable without sharing you insecurities and deepest darkest secrets right away? If you don't want to do that, then what is the point of the relationship? The truth is just that not every person deserves to know your insecurities, fears and dreams because they will either use it against you or share it with people you didn't want to know it. I feel like most people statisfy themselves with casual friendships that don't go further than surface topics. Those are the kind of people that will tell you not to talk about those things in a first conversation. But I think it's better to know who you're dealing with. That's why I prefer observing people first. You can learn a lot about a person by just watching. This will also prevent you from making friends with the wrong people since some really know how to charm you with words.
Good points. I think watching is smart, but you're also thinking logically. Sometimes especially when we're going through a difficult time in our lives, we can forget how important that is because we're emotional, and unfortunately there's even folks who will sniff that out and exploit it. I opened up to the wrong person. It just kind of happened and it was very early in getting to know her which is unlike me. Anyway it turned out she didn't deserve to know but you know what...it also helped me confront the shame I was carrying because I was flooded with regret and fear once I shared. I realized I need to deal with this issue much more than I had up to that point. I've made some progress since. So even if you or someone "overshares" it can be a useful learning experience. Life isn't always easy right? Good luck.
Very good points. I always observe folks before engaging them. 30seconds to 1 minute of observation is enough for me discern someone’s spirit. I’m that good at it.
That's why building friendship takes time, trust, and working through inevitable moments of betrayal. It may sound paradoxical, to be vulnerable and yet maintain boundaries. This requires godly wisdom and character building. This is a process, and often may seem difficult. But then, how will you be human, if you cannot be a friend?
I love Brene Brown but I find it very hard to live and walk in this world in our lifetime. I struggle with discernment in not knowing when and what to say to and around whomever.
The secret is we are all pretty similar. We have regrets and terrible thoughts. People really aren't that complex. We hide the ugly, we don't really want to let others see us break. But the truth is we all do. Sometimes we laugh about it later like it wasn't a big deal but is was at that point in time. The best way I see it is just to find those little moments that you can give a little away. See how they react and if they handle it well maybe let them know a bit more. My honest opinion is if it is a negative trait about you that effects your relationship with an individual, then they deserve to know what it is. Most people really aren't that terrible especially when they start to see your similarities. That doesn't mean we don't need help following through with this. Understanding the concept and actually using it can be hard. It might seem counterintuitive to people who have had a few bad experiences but it's amazing how many people will embrace you when you open up just a little.
What a brilliant and true message. If you want freedom and creativity you must see vulnerability as a measure of courage and openness, which it actually is. Thank you.
So relatable...I don't cry, but vulnerable. Super strong in my courageous heart and open to the conversation. Don't be fake bc people feel that. And those who don't know that they are felt as fake, are not in touch with other hearts or themselves.
I love Brene Brown but I think theres an important point, there's a very high incidence of psychopathy among the top earners. People who are driven to acquire power and extreme wealth are often narcissistic. Which is the opposite of being able to accept vulnerability. The whole capitalist system is based on exploitation and domination. Realistically for vulnerability to enter the world of business, the nature of capitalism will have to change first. Probably fall altogether.
Exactly this! I love Brene but she is too liberal and wishy washy. She doesn’t really think about the historical and political context of what she is saying. Also the point she makes about over sharing is very confusing; her explanation about the difference between being vulnerable and over sharing didn’t make sense and she couldn’t explain it herself so she just made these abstract, emotive reasons with a million meanings. Side eyed her. Not gonna lie. I’m too radical for this kind of nonsense.
I got this video in my algorithm after an M Angelou on that talked about feel your pain but don't react from it. To show only your strong choice game face. All of this seems to be about boundary issues.
@ I feel that a lot of people do have boundary issues! There may not necessarily be one “right way” to set these boundaries or live them out, but I think opening the conversation on them is a good start
@Arikm7 I'm going to stop wallowing in self-pity over having been overprotected my entire life, not having being allowed to develop normally into a fully functioning adult, not having had the opportunity to develop proper social skills, and thus having developed a very distorted perception of myself and my capacity to be self-sufficient. I'm going to take the iniciative. One step at a time.
Pamela Gunn exactly! I mean why does there have to be a line! Why say vulnerable is good but don’t over share? I feel u should do what u feel called to do!
@Arikm7 Thank you! It can be dawnting at times, but breaking up goals into small steps/moments and keeping on working at them is the only way to move forward. I'm 27 and learned this rather late. I used to think I had to do/know everything at once and would get frustrasted when I found myself unable to do so. Consistency is key. All the best to you as well! ;)
By nature i did that without a proper notice. Oversharing with little acknowledgement that the recipient is a right audience or whether he/she is ready for it. But that cant keep me from being vulnerable. Being vulnerable to the self is a gift already.
@@sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040 all the best for your journey. We all have dealt with codependency at different degrees. Freeing oneself from it is a full time job then. Dr. Nicole Lepera (the.holistic.psychologist) on instagram is a great source of knowledge and inspiration in this regard. Love 💕
So essentially vulnerability is the practice of openness to the people, ideas, facts, in the world outside of yourself? It is a stance toward experience? It is waiting to see what happens next while being some kind of part of what happens next?
Oversharing is being too vulnerable. Youve given someone too much of yourself. There is no falsity in that. Knowledge is power. To give someone knowledge about you is to give power. Being transparent is a given. Its called being honest. Thats not vulnerability. Thats called doing whats right. Being vulnerable is putting yourself out their with purpose of helping or strengthening a person or situation. When you are vulnerable there is a chance it make not work in your favor but it makes for a trustworthy and strong leader. You just have to know what type of person you are sharing with and trust your gut.
"Stay brave, stay human" is definitely a lot easier said than done when you're right in the middle of a panic attack but it gets better with time, awareness and watching over your thoughts (in case you're still having issues about this, I'm a work in progress myself)
First of all it sounds like the 60mins tick tick tick sound (haha) I’m guessing she meant- avoid the thought processes that break the purpose of the topic? Maybe.. don’t lose your cool??
You feel shame. And you are avoiding it by doing whatever (ignore it, intellectualize or w/e your coping is). Thats the armoring up, she mentioned i think. Feel it, accept it and put urself through it.
In a Buddhist practice, we do not believe in vulnerability... we believe in humility and being honest with one's self... which has nothing to do with "others." Therefore, you cannot "teach" vulnerability. You can practice humility through specific practices. By focusing on an energy that limits one's expansive limitless potential, we cannot yield new results nor results that lead to empowerment. Therefore vulnerability is not a focus point, nor a practice. It is a distraction toward humility of expression and generosity.
@Robyn Linn, I see vulnerability as being able to be open and compassionate in all situations, all your cards on the table as it were. How is this different than humility? In both, there is no pretense, just raw truth of human experience.
Not everyone has the privilege of Buddhist practice. Brene speaks to the masses. Also, let's not forget that this is the west and most people do not practice Buddhism. Additionally, I never knew there was a right or wrong way to practice vulnerability but I guess that's why I dislike organized religion so much. Dogma. Honestly, you sound pretentious.
If we don’t fully comprehend to understand & respect feelings of one another a team would never work to build each other up. Actions would just be answering to each other out of just being told. Huge difference in productivity & how everyone shows up when unspoken words held in get heard and resolved.
I think vulnerability is when you truly take a risk, not when you act sensitive because you think that's expected or that it'll help you get away with things. Vulnerability is also accountability.
I guess it depends by what you consider oversharing. I've had women tell me on a first and one time a second date that they had been raped. Some might say they were oversharing, but I didn't look at it that way. Instead I thought ok this is something that this person is clearly struggling with on some level so I listened. Now if what you mean by backfire is something that can be used against you if and when the relationship ends...sure I get it, but unless you're telling them you robbed a bank who cares lol.
Thank you so much, Brene for helping us feel accepted for our vulnerabilities. I feel like a walking billboard for mental illness, which caused severe oversharing.... yikes!? Haha... Uh, Thanks for listening to me whine n act a fool for 2 years Dear Universe. Now that I'm finally CALM enough lately to begin to understand my mistakes, n foot-in-mouth moments I'm super appreciative to have Peace of Mind that it's all been teaching moments. For the most part I can laugh about it, through tears, but still laugh. No clue how to acclimate to society and rebuild, but I'm patently PATIENT!!!!
This lady is such a total sweetheart! I want to hug her right now! Its very hard to be alive right now the way everything is gotten so out of control and sad ! I feel like I'm better off dead alot lately. Relapsed on heroin.just wish i had somebody around besides my cat to pit my arms around and hold me when i wake up in tears in the middle of the night. So i guess this will have to do for now .😥
Sorry to hear your story man. You are being vulnerable and that's a courageous thing. I think Brene would say it's the beginning of innovation. I hope that you can find help with your addiction. There are people out there who care and can help.
But… making new friends does require courage and vulnerability. Psychologists say the best way most people do make friends is to give someone a little vulnerable information and see what they do with it.
Maybe folks in the comments can help me understand. What she’s saying sounds cool in a vacuum, but I can think of so many situations where vulnerability is weaponized and can have real world negative impact on a person’s livelihood or relationships. When speaking of vulnerability, discernment would seem to go ahead and hand with it. I keep thinking of the old-school Biblic warning of not throwing pearls to swine. How many times have people’s words been used against them? Again, this just feels like it’s in a vacuum.
As a man, if you show vulnerability you won’t be able to connect with a large population of men. A lot of men unfortunately have this notion that showing your vulnerabilities makes you weak when in fact it makes you human. And for leaders it’s essential to be human, to be real because that’s how you can lead other humans to do great things.
As a man I know exactly what you're talking about. I do think however that other guys who are mature human beings will respect a man for this because of the courage it takes in particular because of what you just said. Others won't care because they're immature...and deeply afraid in part because of what you just said.
If we confine / define vulnerability to the information we share or the linguistic features we use, it totally defeats the meaning of being valuable. Being valuable is not a calculated strategy to gain favors; it is an attitude that stems from a heart that courageously embraces it, and is reflected in our actions, decisions, attitudes, and of course, our words.
Perhaps a recognition that we all are flawed and subject to error, but that if we keep trying and work the problem, then we can push those boundaries and inspire those around us to never give up.
Hannah Miller yeah. I’m not even human. IDK what to tell you. On a serious note: we aren’t all full human. To think we are the only ones in this universe is absolutely insanity. Angels took on human form. God took on human form. Insanity
Brene’ also speaks on how not everyone is entitled to your story!
Took me YEARS to learn the value of that right there. My story is way too precious to be given to just anyone. Yet I gave it to anyone and everyone. Such is not the case anymore.
In Dare to Lead?
Make it about the work.
EXACTLY
HeartOfSky. Great Lessons Learned😻 It seems like discernment is a gift for you now?
The hardest part of being vulnerable, is knowing whom to open up to. That requires a lot of discernment and a very high level of social intelligence.
No that’s just living strategically in your head.. You can open up to anyone and those who can’t handle it, kick them to the curb!!! I’m honest and vulnerable with EVERYONE!!!
@@Mr.Honest247 Brene was just talking against this in this video. Did you watch the video? Vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability.
@@sobc2737 She's saying don't fake the vulnerability. Also, she seems to advise to bully others with vulnerability. I don't think it's wise to "lean in" like she says. It's better to just say what needs to be said and stand in your truth. Some people just have more to them then others. It's not a fault! Learning to kick people to the curb is a skill I'm still learning. Being honest with one's own vulnerability is a strength!
@@ljsong1 how many people can we kick..the world seems to be full of imposters...
Agreed. I recently learned I lost a close friend to suicide and it’s been difficult to navigate. I’m generally rather transparent about my vulnerability, but I also had to learn about boundaries and protecting myself, especially regarding a sensitive topic as suicide. It’s caused me to end a friendship of sixteen years after I told him about losing my friend. The way he spoke to me was rather hurtful than comforting, and while I know ending the friendship has been a long time coming, it’s still very disappointing.
I always think of pain in a cup, and when our cup fills over too much we can overshare and not understand boundaries and spill that pain onto others....mostly unknowingly and sometimes not.
@Cindy Lou thanks love ❤
That's a great analogy. 👍🏿
One regret, that I didn't hear that sooner
@Cindy Lou Agreed 😊
Excellent analogy
God sent. Thank you.
"When you are in uncertainty, When you feel at risk When you feel exposed, Dont tap out. Stay brave, Stay uncomfortable, stay in the cringing moment, lean into the hard conversation and keep leading"
what i've learned over the years, is that if someone doesn't like, it's oversharing. if someone likes you, it's vulnerability. it is *that* subjective
That's maybe about boundary issues.
Yes boundary issues.
That makes sense, though. That’s called rapport.
The host has such a sensitive gaze. Looks very honest.
Germana Leal Brasileiro what a lovely comment.
Yep.. I love many from that generation (my dad's generation).... strangely brene brown speaks with a somewhat harsh tone but I think that's because she is direct.
I need someone special in my life . I am extremely lonesome but at the same time im scared of people! I lived on the streets for a few years. Between the streets and how i was treated ( both by others and myself) i emotionally and spiritually am beaten and scareed pretty bad inside.. i need a real friend but dont remember what that looks like!😫
😂😂😂😂😂oh my goodness YES!!
@@michaelvance1118I hope you are doing better! What I would say is, find a hobby that you enjoy and join a group for that hobby. You might need to try a few things before you find something that works. That way you'll probably find friends, and also find something fulfilling that you enjoy. External validation in the form of love and friendship feels great, but internal validation in the form of loving yourself is also essential!
Vulnerability is taking risks and telling truth.
@Tami Pe Like I went to work in the Covid 19 and didn't have a nervous breakdown
I just wrote this down. Thank you!
Every time you try something outside the norm you open yourself up to criticism or failure
I started businesses that didn't take off. That is opening yourself up to failure
Chuck Hockey yes I’ve been facing a lot of trials and tribulations with officially starting my business and one thing I had to learn was that Im on MY TIME no one else’s ! My time will come. Patience is key 🔑
"All I'm saying about vulnerability is that when you are in uncertainty, when you feel at risk, when you feel exposed, *don't tap out.* Stay brave, stay uncomfortable, stay in the cringey moment, lean into the hard conversation, and keep leading."
Thank you for this!
It's not about sharing or being vulnerable, it's about being honest - being emotionally honest and consequently transparent.
Vulnerability is the "feeling" experienced while being honest but at the end of the day the goal is to be honest and risk it all for your truth, simple!
Totally in agreement ❤
great share
Vulnerability and honesty are not necessarily in the same space. I can be honest without being vulnerable. I cannot be vulnerable without being honest so we have a little ven diagram here
If someone does not mind being exposed, that someone is free.
Lernt that young
❤️
and just to add to that, if you have things you choose to keep private that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re enslaved. You can be free but not have total control.
@@thermidorwinthrop9245 being free is realizing you are only in control of yourself, the choices you make
It's kind of true if you think about it.
Brene' is brilliant speaker. It’s simple but it’s amazing. Vulnerability is not an emotion, it’s a power, a power to accept oneself.
yes!
Love that
Love
Just read her book Daring Greatly and it’s a wonderful book. Unfortunately many companies still lead their employees and use fear and shame as “motivators”.
John Peterson I agree it’s a very devastating way to treat good people who just want to provide for their family and make their parents proud.
I love her but the vulnerability thing does not work in many companies. For example at the firm i work at, I have been an empathic leader that expresses vulnerability and shows empathy and kindness - the people I lead use it as a green light to attempt to trample me, shame me, and ambush me , particularly publicly and in meetings because they see vulnerability as weakness. They see it as an a opportunity to assert themselves over me.
I now understand why most managers at the firm have an aggressive, no tolerance fear driving approach. People seriously have no respect or appreciation for a caring, empathic , strong leader that shows vulnerability.
Superiors SHINE with their subjects. Very sick
@BellaZella3000
Boundaries are very important to have when being vulnerable. We must uphold the boundary of what we will or won't tolerate and communicate that as well.
You can be vulnerable without exposing details.
Elizabeth Jones love this.
Elizabeth Jones in what sense do you mean this pls?
How though??
I wonder HOW, too. People can't understand you without you providing the context.
Doesn’t make any sense: as this is what everyone does. My understanding of showing vulnerability as a strength is to express it in some way or through actions
Chk-chk-chk-chk-chk-chk-chk - the 60 Minutes outtro did exactly what she *just* said *not* to do. 😆👍
🤣🤣🤣 great comment!!
Ha!!
You're funny 😁
Yoooo Hake you had me dying over here bc I read your comment 1 sec before she did it😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
2:58
My first Brene' Brown RUclips video. I am hooked.
Rebekah Kleinman oh she is so good. Love her! She has a podcast, but I haven’t listened to it yet. So I’m just putting it out there with no opinion.
Her podcast is wonderful but I recommend starting with her TED talks or other talks.
She's one of the BEST!!
Yes the host seemed so sincere.
When you are in uncerainty, at risk, exposed, stay brave, stay uncomfortable, lean into the hard conversation, and keep leading. Be aware of your armor and stay human.
What does it mean to stay human?
@@hannahmiller7347 I'm also trying to understand what she said but my insight is that as humans we have emotions that lead us to feelings of vulnerability and by that we have to be aware of the fear that might want to shield us (the armor), perhaps by saying that to stay human is to accept these emotions instead of suppressing or discouraging them.. and still keeping some boundaries
Hannah Miller I think she means by staying human is that humans have negative emotions. Humans fail. And if we start to stumble or do something we find uncomfortable, don’t back away. Stay in whatever human moment that is, with our human emotions and feelings, and don’t shove it down, use or built up defense mechanism, etc.
I totally did not get what she was saying. All of it sounded contradictory to me.
@@hannahmiller7347The ego thrives on resistance. To be vulnerable is to die a little every day.
Look at the sense of urgency combined with authenticity in the way she’s giving the message…she’s clearly doing what she was put here to do and we need to listen to her
beautiful
What I have a hard time with is: how can you be truly vulnerable without sharing you insecurities and deepest darkest secrets right away? If you don't want to do that, then what is the point of the relationship? The truth is just that not every person deserves to know your insecurities, fears and dreams because they will either use it against you or share it with people you didn't want to know it. I feel like most people statisfy themselves with casual friendships that don't go further than surface topics. Those are the kind of people that will tell you not to talk about those things in a first conversation. But I think it's better to know who you're dealing with. That's why I prefer observing people first. You can learn a lot about a person by just watching. This will also prevent you from making friends with the wrong people since some really know how to charm you with words.
Naila Kamana maybe giving advice
Good points. I think watching is smart, but you're also thinking logically. Sometimes especially when we're going through a difficult time in our lives, we can forget how important that is because we're emotional, and unfortunately there's even folks who will sniff that out and exploit it. I opened up to the wrong person. It just kind of happened and it was very early in getting to know her which is unlike me. Anyway it turned out she didn't deserve to know but you know what...it also helped me confront the shame I was carrying because I was flooded with regret and fear once I shared. I realized I need to deal with this issue much more than I had up to that point. I've made some progress since. So even if you or someone "overshares" it can be a useful learning experience. Life isn't always easy right? Good luck.
Vulnerability is okay for women but not okay for men.
Very good points. I always observe folks before engaging them. 30seconds to 1 minute of observation is enough for me discern someone’s spirit. I’m that good at it.
That's why building friendship takes time, trust, and working through inevitable moments of betrayal. It may sound paradoxical, to be vulnerable and yet maintain boundaries. This requires godly wisdom and character building. This is a process, and often may seem difficult. But then, how will you be human, if you cannot be a friend?
Brené is the ultimate life coach 🤓
Love her❣️
I love Brene Brown but I find it very hard to live and walk in this world in our lifetime. I struggle with discernment in not knowing when and what to say to and around whomever.
You will get better with time.
Same
The whole life felt that way. Eventually an intention was set, and it got easier and easier to have discernment for that. Best wishes!
I think you are off to a great start with recognizing that. I found spending more time with myself and my thoughts helped me significantly.
Me too...
Excellent advice. I feel people see the "human" in you when you allow your armor to come down. It's not a sign of weakness.
So true
I love that she made the 60 minute stopwatch outro sound just before it ended ☺
The secret is we are all pretty similar. We have regrets and terrible thoughts. People really aren't that complex. We hide the ugly, we don't really want to let others see us break. But the truth is we all do. Sometimes we laugh about it later like it wasn't a big deal but is was at that point in time. The best way I see it is just to find those little moments that you can give a little away. See how they react and if they handle it well maybe let them know a bit more. My honest opinion is if it is a negative trait about you that effects your relationship with an individual, then they deserve to know what it is. Most people really aren't that terrible especially when they start to see your similarities. That doesn't mean we don't need help following through with this. Understanding the concept and actually using it can be hard. It might seem counterintuitive to people who have had a few bad experiences but it's amazing how many people will embrace you when you open up just a little.
What a brilliant and true message. If you want freedom and creativity you must see vulnerability as a measure of courage and openness, which it actually is. Thank you.
So relatable...I don't cry, but vulnerable. Super strong in my courageous heart and open to the conversation. Don't be fake bc people feel that. And those who don't know that they are felt as fake, are not in touch with other hearts or themselves.
Well if you do cry from time to time that's alright too. We're all just human beings at the end of the day.
@@tomd1434 Yes...and crying is healing.
@@fitnfab6522
True
2:20 is some pretty amazing advice- stay brave and lean in
Lol 😂 the fake vulnerability got me. That pisses me off too. 🤣🤣
I feel you
Her Live Audio on Vulnerability definitely will be put to the test in this Coronavirus Pandemic.
I love Brene Brown but I think theres an important point, there's a very high incidence of psychopathy among the top earners. People who are driven to acquire power and extreme wealth are often narcissistic. Which is the opposite of being able to accept vulnerability. The whole capitalist system is based on exploitation and domination. Realistically for vulnerability to enter the world of business, the nature of capitalism will have to change first. Probably fall altogether.
Excellent point.
I think that's a fair point.
Exactly this! I love Brene but she is too liberal and wishy washy. She doesn’t really think about the historical and political context of what she is saying. Also the point she makes about over sharing is very confusing; her explanation about the difference between being vulnerable and over sharing didn’t make sense and she couldn’t explain it herself so she just made these abstract, emotive reasons with a million meanings. Side eyed her. Not gonna lie. I’m too radical for this kind of nonsense.
@@newleft2254 to be fair, if she brought politics into it she would alienate a lot of people.
@@newleft2254 Yes. I was not understanding what she meant.
There’s definitely a fine line between the two!
This is great. Speak about challenges in a safe space so different perspectives can be shared. Thats what she means.
Totally correct: vulnerability is not about pouring out, but about not blocking in
I got this video in my algorithm after an M Angelou on that talked about feel your pain but don't react from it. To show only your strong choice game face. All of this seems to be about boundary issues.
@ I feel that a lot of people do have boundary issues! There may not necessarily be one “right way” to set these boundaries or live them out, but I think opening the conversation on them is a good start
Trauma causes people to overshare. Who cares we all do it sometimes
@Arikm7 I'm going to stop wallowing in self-pity over having been overprotected my entire life, not having being allowed to develop normally into a fully functioning adult, not having had the opportunity to develop proper social skills, and thus having developed a very distorted perception of myself and my capacity to be self-sufficient. I'm going to take the iniciative. One step at a time.
Pamela Gunn exactly! I mean why does there have to be a line! Why say vulnerable is good but don’t over share? I feel u should do what u feel called to do!
@Arikm7 Thank you!
It can be dawnting at times, but breaking up goals into small steps/moments and keeping on working at them is the only way to move forward. I'm 27 and learned this rather late. I used to think I had to do/know everything at once and would get frustrasted when I found myself unable to do so. Consistency is key.
All the best to you as well! ;)
By nature i did that without a proper notice. Oversharing with little acknowledgement that the recipient is a right audience or whether he/she is ready for it. But that cant keep me from being vulnerable. Being vulnerable to the self is a gift already.
@@sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040 all the best for your journey. We all have dealt with codependency at different degrees. Freeing oneself from it is a full time job then. Dr. Nicole Lepera (the.holistic.psychologist) on instagram is a great source of knowledge and inspiration in this regard. Love 💕
I needed this today, thank you!
Brilliant articulation
“Stay in the cringy moment and keep leading”
I still struggle with this part. Sometimes I open up to much and people use it against me.
I love that she just drops an anime reference there at the end like it’s normal.
The geeks have taken over the world and I love it.
Thanks for the video
Women’s strengths in a mans world
Mindfulness. Emotion comes and goes.
That's a great distinction!
Amazing!!!
These are life changers!
Been Brown is an amazing mentor.
The host has the same poise and mannerisms as my late grandfather.
Thank you
It takes a lot of strength to show vulnerability.
Stay brave. Stay human. Keep Leaning..🕊🤍💫💞🙏
Wow. Great interview and great wisdom. Very insightful and practical for leaders in all parts of a company, at all levels. Especially now.
Love this interview and Brene ❤
So essentially vulnerability is the practice of openness to the people, ideas, facts, in the world outside of yourself? It is a stance toward experience? It is waiting to see what happens next while being some kind of part of what happens next?
this was very good life advice!! I needed to hear this
These are LIFE lessons. We should be doing this whether we're in a Fortune 500 or not
Oversharing is being too vulnerable. Youve given someone too much of yourself. There is no falsity in that. Knowledge is power. To give someone knowledge about you is to give power. Being transparent is a given. Its called being honest. Thats not vulnerability. Thats called doing whats right. Being vulnerable is putting yourself out their with purpose of helping or strengthening a person or situation. When you are vulnerable there is a chance it make not work in your favor but it makes for a trustworthy and strong leader. You just have to know what type of person you are sharing with and trust your gut.
"Stay brave, stay human" is definitely a lot easier said than done when you're right in the middle of a panic attack but it gets better with time, awareness and watching over your thoughts (in case you're still having issues about this, I'm a work in progress myself)
can somebody explain what she meant by "transform up" at 3:00? Thank you!
First of all it sounds like the 60mins tick tick tick sound (haha)
I’m guessing she meant- avoid the thought processes that break the purpose of the topic?
Maybe.. don’t lose your cool??
You feel shame. And you are avoiding it by doing whatever (ignore it, intellectualize or w/e your coping is). Thats the armoring up, she mentioned i think.
Feel it, accept it and put urself through it.
@@coldshatterhand we are thinking the opposite. I wonder what it could really be?
Much love ✌️
Vulnerability is rooted in sincerity. Without sincerity, it's just manipulation.
She makes good sense.
In a Buddhist practice, we do not believe in vulnerability... we believe in humility and being honest with one's self... which has nothing to do with "others." Therefore, you cannot "teach" vulnerability. You can practice humility through specific practices. By focusing on an energy that limits one's expansive limitless potential, we cannot yield new results nor results that lead to empowerment. Therefore vulnerability is not a focus point, nor a practice. It is a distraction toward humility of expression and generosity.
@Robyn Linn, I see vulnerability as being able to be open and compassionate in all situations, all your cards on the table as it were. How is this different than humility? In both, there is no pretense, just raw truth of human experience.
Robyn Linn Sounds pretty boring.
Not everyone has the privilege of Buddhist practice. Brene speaks to the masses.
Also, let's not forget that this is the west and most people do not practice Buddhism.
Additionally, I never knew there was a right or wrong way to practice vulnerability but I guess that's why I dislike organized religion so much. Dogma.
Honestly, you sound pretentious.
@@mariellencressman9624 This !
Semantics
❤ this thank you 🙏🏾
If we don’t fully comprehend to understand & respect feelings of one another a team would never work to build each other up. Actions would just be answering to each other out of just being told.
Huge difference in productivity & how everyone shows up when unspoken words held in get heard and resolved.
I really love her
I think vulnerability is when you truly take a risk, not when you act sensitive because you think that's expected or that it'll help you get away with things. Vulnerability is also accountability.
I love this.
The tick tick noise she makes at the end is the same of the 60 minutes end of video
Wow, that was nuts!! Lol
I thought she was doing transformers. Can someone on 60 minutes please verify this?
LMAO best comment on this video. My abs just got a workout.
🤯
great advice!
So crazy this happened right, exactly when my old boss needed to hear it. Wild.
As another educator (who is also a November-born kid) I have been saying this for a long time. Thank you.
Love is beautiful, but also vulnerable. Nothing wrong with sharing, but not over sharing. It'll backfire on you.
I guess it depends by what you consider oversharing. I've had women tell me on a first and one time a second date that they had been raped. Some might say they were oversharing, but I didn't look at it that way. Instead I thought ok this is something that this person is clearly struggling with on some level so I listened. Now if what you mean by backfire is something that can be used against you if and when the relationship ends...sure I get it, but unless you're telling them you robbed a bank who cares lol.
It always does o
Good she's readjusting her speech
I totally agree
What great advice
How do you know if you are tapping out or just getting out of an impossible situation?
Brilliant and authentic!
Love Rene Brown!
Thank you so much, Brene for helping us feel accepted for our vulnerabilities. I feel like a walking billboard for mental illness, which caused severe oversharing.... yikes!? Haha... Uh, Thanks for listening to me whine n act a fool for 2 years Dear Universe. Now that I'm finally CALM enough lately to begin to understand my mistakes, n foot-in-mouth moments I'm super appreciative to have Peace of Mind that it's all been teaching moments. For the most part I can laugh about it, through tears, but still laugh. No clue how to acclimate to society and rebuild, but I'm patently PATIENT!!!!
You will be fine. Shame cannot be an option at this point. We're here only to live life so by all means, live.
Wonderful host aswell.
Love this and she is beautiful inside and out
Irony: she disguises her own vulnerability with her heavy vocal fry affectation. It is not her regular voice, that is for sure. This is her armor.
Wow, powerful words! Thank you.
A step in the right direction. Not one of us is perfect!
Must watch for all leaders of corporations and government departments.
Healthy boundaries are what allow someone to be vulnerable.
This lady is such a total sweetheart! I want to hug her right now! Its very hard to be alive right now the way everything is gotten so out of control and sad ! I feel like I'm better off dead alot lately. Relapsed on heroin.just wish i had somebody around besides my cat to pit my arms around and hold me when i wake up in tears in the middle of the night. So i guess this will have to do for now .😥
Sorry to hear your story man. You are being vulnerable and that's a courageous thing. I think Brene would say it's the beginning of innovation. I hope that you can find help with your addiction. There are people out there who care and can help.
Powerful ❤
Never surprises to deliver !
Excellent. 👍
But… making new friends does require courage and vulnerability. Psychologists say the best way most people do make friends is to give someone a little vulnerable information and see what they do with it.
The people who do cry are okay too. We all have that trauma to process
Working on this with assistance she is amazing
essa mulher é incrivel
I love how this is a quiet calm interview and she’s in full on motivator mode lol
Maybe folks in the comments can help me understand. What she’s saying sounds cool in a vacuum, but I can think of so many situations where vulnerability is weaponized and can have real world negative impact on a person’s livelihood or relationships. When speaking of vulnerability, discernment would seem to go ahead and hand with it. I keep thinking of the old-school Biblic warning of not throwing pearls to swine. How many times have people’s words been used against them? Again, this just feels like it’s in a vacuum.
She leans in and it gets so intense. Totally locked in.
Stay brave, lean into the hard conversation, got it 👍🙏💗
As a man, if you show vulnerability you won’t be able to connect with a large population of men. A lot of men unfortunately have this notion that showing your vulnerabilities makes you weak when in fact it makes you human. And for leaders it’s essential to be human, to be real because that’s how you can lead other humans to do great things.
Leaders have been defined as power and money. The new definition of leader should be to serve. Not to serve based on discrimination or judgement.
As a man I know exactly what you're talking about. I do think however that other guys who are mature human beings will respect a man for this because of the courage it takes in particular because of what you just said. Others won't care because they're immature...and deeply afraid in part because of what you just said.
If we confine / define vulnerability to the information we share or the linguistic features we use, it totally defeats the meaning of being valuable. Being valuable is not a calculated strategy to gain favors; it is an attitude that stems from a heart that courageously embraces it, and is reflected in our actions, decisions, attitudes, and of course, our words.
When she says "stay human" what does that mean?
Perhaps a recognition that we all are flawed and subject to error, but that if we keep trying and work the problem, then we can push those boundaries and inspire those around us to never give up.
Hannah Miller yeah. I’m not even human. IDK what to tell you. On a serious note: we aren’t all full human. To think we are the only ones in this universe is absolutely insanity. Angels took on human form. God took on human form. Insanity
@Stacy Caruso Oh really 🤣🤣 And how did you come to that conclusion?