I'm a 33 year old woman with no kids, should I be worried?
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- Опубликовано: 8 янв 2024
- Hi Friend!
I really hope this video isn't too controversial! I talk about a topic that is very important to me and it is whether I want to have children or remain child free forever. It is something that I think about lot. Please leave your experience below.
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As a senior whom once desired to have children but didn't. I felt I would live a lonely old age with no one to visit or care about me until my death. Well, I'm busy with life and seniors activities. I jog, travel, bake desserts, sew, and do art projects. The important thing is take care of yourself and stay creative.
So happy for you. Thanks for this comment! 🌹
My wife cannot have children, so we are child free "without choice". As we age, we are missing out on family, and now grandchildren, we have no one to watch over us as we get older, but, we are also looking after each other, and we are together, so, are happy, but you never lose that "what if" idea. Live, love and do good.
I had my first child at 42 years old and I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. Seek the kingdom of God and all things will follow and yes, I am married. Let God lead your path
Love this 💛🙏🏾 Women can have children at older ages in this day and age, we all don’t have to start at 28 when we’re still so young!
It's really odd to be able to get pregnant at that age. Just because your clock ticked a little later than what's normal doesn't mean any woman can wait till her 40s and start having kids. For most it's too late
I had my last 2 children after earning my PhD; A boy at 38 and a girl at 40 and both were healthy.
Maybe controversial opinion, but I feel like the majority of women throughout history had children because they were pressured into it by society/culture, religion, or family (influenced, as you put it) The thought of being child-free has never entered their mind as an option. Thankfully, the world seems to be moving in the direction where child-free women aren't looked at like horrible people, so women can finally see it as a viable life path.
I agree. I’ve mostly seen/heard older women shaming women for not having kids.
Not controversial at all. I agree! It’s true. Many women didn’t see it as an option, including me at one point. However as I got older I realized that most women around me who were mothers; actually did not like it.
They would never say it, but it’s obvious the way in which they interact with their children. Honestly when my sister had my 2nd niece I immediately noticed her shift. She was happy being pregnant but I could see the reality set in that she was now a mother of 2. Also even in marriage most women are the primary caretaker. That’s a lot of responsibility.
They take cute instagram photos but when I see the interactions it’s as if they are emotionally unavailable or they are just tired.
There have always been some women without kids and even in the medieval times they had (often lethal) methods of abortion and (rather unreliable) herb potions as contraceptives. Women threw themselves down the stairs to end a pregnancy. These women were of course labelled as witches.
Reliable contraception made the conscious choice possible in the first place.
Having children is simply natural, why would've people limited it.
Agree with this 100 percent!
I always said I never wanted kids, but then I met my husband. We dated for seven years and after we got married I started to consider kids. My husband’s demeanor, morals, supportiveness and just his overall esssence made me more comfortable with the idea of kids because I’d be raising them with him. We now have 2 kids and he’s a very involved, loving father. It is hard, but with the right partner it’s an amazing journey. This coming from a woman that was adamantly against kids. My kids are hilarious, smart, curious,loving, adorable, etc. They’ve changed my view of the world and give life so much more purpose.
I'm 33, divorced with no kids as well & I love my life without kids. Also know that having a baby in your late thirties does not mean your pregnancy will be unhealthy or your child will have developmental issues. ✨️
Doesn't always mean that a pregnancy will be unhealthy or that the child will have developmmental problems, there's always a chance for a healthy pregnancy. However, it IS a possibility and that possibility of negative effects does sky rocket toward your mid to late 30's. Just because it doesn't ALWAYS happen doesn't mean we can't discount the possibility of pregnancy-related issues at a later age!
@@SierraRomeohthats what she is saying duh
@@studylive99 the initial comment wasn’t completely clear. You could assume of course (as I’m sure she meant it that way) that she meant it doesn’t ALWAYS mean the chance of unhealthy pregnancy. The other comment was just clearing it up further.
The other reality is, its easier to have kids younger than older. My first at 21. My last at 38. World of difference!!!
April... are we the same people? LOL
I was in your shoes at 33. 2 broken engagements, focused on my career and working on myself. Started traveling more and focused on finding someone who would be an excellent spouse and father. We didn’t meet until I was 38. We had our baby at age 41! She’s perfect and healthy. I could have been perfectly healthy child free but I think the experience of one is perfect for us, as we are both full time working professionals.
Anything is possible! Thanks for sharing!!
Gmg girl, so exciting
Im a black male who’s 36, with no prospects in sight and no kids. This gives me a lot of hope. People always make being an older parent cringy. My bio mom had me at 37, and my adoptive mom adopted me at 43. Im so blessed to have seen older parents. And to know that maybe I’ll find someone in the coming years. Thank you for sharing.
I am turning 31 next week. I want children but some days to make myself feel better, I say, I don’t . But in reality I do. Bless all the loving mothers.
I became a mother when I was 20. My journey was hard. I fell in love and got left behind raising our child on my own. To be honest, it is still hard hearing his fathers voice when they do Skype calls because this was a person that i loved dearly. Dad lives in a different country, but still communicates with our son, acknowledges him, and helps with child support. I told myself that i would not have anymore kids because i was so fed up with feeling vulnerable and powerless. I ended up having another one when the birth control failed with my now-husband. I gave in because i loved him and he did not have any kids of his own. My 2nd child has profound autism. No one in our family (neither mine or my husbands) has a diagnosis of autism, so this just kind of sprung up out of nowhere. It is a struggle and every one of those desires i used to have (freedom) creeps into my head now and then and I have to redirect my thoughts. I don't like being a mom and worrying about the future. HOWEVER, I love my kids and my husband more than anything in the world. I will always do right by them and will put myself aside to make sure they feel loved and cared for.
It was brave of you to share this and I think you are very clear in your distinction between not enjoying the role vs still loving your husband and child.
@cassandragarcia258 - Suggestion: If you put yourself 1st (Self Love & Self Care), while still doing a great job with raising your children, the motherhood thing will possibly be less of a dislike for you, because you will have things that you personally enjoy doing daily and partaking in - the reason I share this: if you can find joy and bliss within your inner world as *Cassandra* (vs. "Cassandra the Mom" [compartmentalize]), then the requirement of taking care of your children, and your household alike could possibly be apart of an extension toward what you really enjoy about your life (eg. running your own business, doing crafts, exercising creative outlets, coursework/self directed learning topics of great interest... the world is your oyster if you allow it to be)
i have autism and i just want to let you know that i always want my mum to do what makes her happy. the lesson you teach by putting yourself aside is that thats a good thing, but is that what you want your kids to do in their future relationships? when we all do what makes us happy as individuals, everyone around us benefits. you are free when you take your freedom
67 childfree and never wanted kids. Never regretted no kids. If you like sleeping in, don't have them. If you like peace and quiet, don't have them.. If you like extra spending money, don't have them. If you like going out with friends, don't have them. If you like travel at the drop of a hat, don't have them. To flip the script, men treat you better when there are no kids. Being a married single mom sucks. Men become an extra child. Men say they want kids, but don't want the WORK that goes with them, so you end up doing it all, PLUS work full time, plus all emotional and physical labor in the home. If the man becomes an abuser, and there are kids, you are trapped. If you want a divorce, he can use your babies to keep you in line. You can mother other children. You can care for children of friends, nieces and nephews. I have been the greatest aunt, my nieces and nephews ever had. NO REGRETS. I envy NO ONE. But I have BEEN ENVIED by some of my friends/relations that are parents.
Truest words here. Especially the part "wants kids but not the work"
So many men, especially from your generation, don't do shit at home, but expect everything to be done in their liking.
I never realised that about men until my sister's friend started living it! He legit just doesn't want to take care of his kids. When she goes out he wants her to take the kids with her...mind you she quit her job to take care of the kids because finding the right child care was a problem. So she's already with them basically 24/7. She has to depend on his money now too and she is so annoyed by that. I mean she has savings because she's smart and she had an amazing job, but kids ofc are expensive. It really opened my eyes and made me realise that maybe I'm not as ready as I thought I was.
This times 100! 👆🏾
a lot of free time love that
@@veero8130 exactly, I give the same energy. I don’t have time for that. Women always get the short end of the stick
I'm 36, never married, very single, no kids. I'm the oldest of 4, born to a teenage mother, and I recognized the opportunities that she missed by getting married and having children at a young age, inc education, career, travel, etc. I always assumed my life would eventually follow the "natural" progression of love, marriage, and baby carriage, but rather than prioritizing dating/romantic relationships, I chose to focus on education, travel, career in my 20s, and in my early 30s advancing my career, becoming more financially stable, purchasing a home, and achieving milestones that some of my friends with kids (single and coupled) are still struggling to do, especially in this economy.
Now that I'm a woman of a certain age and have achieved a certain level of stability, it's even more challenging to find a suitable partner, and I have no desire to be a single or unwed mom. I've pretty much accepted my fate, I'm past the point of "it'll just happen" and I'm okay with that. I have a peaceful and comfortable life, good friends, community, and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by not having children. I'm also a "rich auntie" and dote on my nieces and godchildren, so perhaps they will check on me sometimes when I get old, but I'm also investing in securing my own future, which I feel parents should do as well...
U did amazing. I worked nursing home for years...believe me...their children come on holidays...bascially as a nurse in your old age I'll be ur caregiver. I have no children.
The “rich auntie” them kids love you. I’m 20 nobody in my family has money or is and actual adult. You sound very aware and caring please take the time out of your day to see how those kids are do mentally or try to have a regular 1 to 1 conversation kids love grown ups that take the time out of they day to have a conversation
I'm 29, never wanted kids, and doubt I ever will. Growing up I was forced the responsibility of caring for my (entitled) mom. I feel trapped and hate it, especially because we don't have a good relationship. I can't imagine having the responsibility of caring for children.
Sounds like my life
I empathize with you - and I feel like that is what I also noticed from daughters around me who were raised by (distant) mothers they did not have a healthy relationship with - In adulthood, the daughters either focused on a *highly successful, happily childfree life* or the latter being: "taking care of kids, and doing what needs to be done to not repeat psychological history"
I grew up in a single parent household with 2 younger siblings...i b3came yhe defacto parent when my mom worked....needless 2 say 2 decades later I'm tired from helping raise my siblings just part of the time.
Im 36, been with my husband for 18 years total. Earlier in our relationship we were talking about having children but soon realised, after much discussion, it was something we didn't want. We love our freedom and not having children, it suits us well 😊
If you're worried about "the clock is ticking", don't, there are many people who have children later in life. My Aunt was 43 when she had a baby 😅
yeah don't listen to that... lots of people have issues with fertility at that age. It's a dumb thing to do.
@@annasimons389I’m all for optimism, but it’s definitely irresponsible to tell people this.
Ladies, if you really want kids, please consider your age and don’t make your decisions thinking you’ll be perfectly fertile in your 40s.
Or simply adopt. 🤷♀️ You can always adopt later in life.
@@krystalizedmagic4894My mom wanted to adopt in her late 40s and they said it's too old. They have other requirements like be married, have enough money, have extra space in house, it's not that easy as "just adopt" like peoples say.
*This is one of the most realest videos about such a hard topic for us 30+ aged women to talk about. I don’t want children, and I decided this within the last few years, I am 33 as well. It’s kinda difficult in that most of my close friends are married and have children. I have a goal for myself in that I don’t want to shy away from the fact that I don’t want kids anymore. I’m a pediatric nurse who LOVES kids, and everyone around me says “Vanessa, you’re going to be a great mother some day!”. And my answer will be something like “oh that’s so sweet”, but I don’t think I would be a good mother. I KNOW myself, and I feel like I would ruin my child’s life. I want things a certain way for me and mine, I wouldn’t give my child the ability to grow individually, I would stifle them, I would worry about them 24/7 and not let them do anything by themselves because I’d be so worried, i have spiteful ways and I don’t want to subject my child to that, I would make them do everything I want them to do and there would be no conversation because I really am a “my way, or the highway” kind of woman, I’m impatient, and I’d be resentful for not having the wonderful freedom I have now. I am single, live alone, have a wonderful career, I’ve been to 20 countries, and life just doesn’t suck. I don’t want that to change with a child, and I want to be able to stand proud in that, with my friends and family that for some reason just want to insist that I DO have children, simply because I am a good person and seem to be good with children. I hope that both men AND women learn to stop pressuring other humans to have children when we just don’t effing want them lol. What’s so hard about just keeping your mouth shut about it? Anyway, I hope this response wasn’t me ranting, but I just wanted to say sis, a LOT of us are with you, whether we don’t want to have children at all or it’s an inner battle we’ve had for years. No one can tell you what your best life is going to be but YOU.*
i'm 38 currently pregnant with my first child. i had deadlines like... " I'm defiantly not having kids after 25!!" then "ok 30 is my hard cut off " then... I met my husband lol six years ago my life changed and so did my heart. I was never the women who dreamed of having kids but I'm an explorer and experiencer of life. I like to be open to what the universe has in store otherwise i might miss something great!
Nothing is ever certain in life people need to accept that.
True
Translation: a man made me change my mind and personality
@@ririschannelxTranslation LOVE made me change my mind. ❤I've dealt with plenty of "men" over the years and always stood on business 😤. You can't get away from Gods will for your life
I love my daughter. If I could do it all over, knowing how life would go, I would have skipped marriage, skipped searching for the "right" job, and used donors to have 2 kids in my late 20s/early 30s so that my mom could have had more than 1.5 years with my only child. Having a child is like fighting with a mini version of yourself every day on top of having to get yourself ready. It's also being very loved, and working to heal your wounds for this little person you created. It brings up all your wounds and insecurities, but this girl is all I live for. She is my world ❤
Same my kids too
How sweet!!! love this take!
None of that sounds satisfying
Y’all make it sound like rainbows and sunshine with a little bump in the road 😂😂 no love, it’s stressful & never ending
❤
I am 37. I got married at 30, divorced at 33. Didn’t have any children in that marriage. I was thinking it was a wrap and that if I hadn’t had children by now, it wouldn’t happen. Well, at 36 I got pregnant and I am now 37 with an 8 month old lol you have time if that’s what you want. I’m seeing a lot more women in their 40s on their first and second child as well. Times have changed where it’s more acceptable to be without children if you don’t want them and it’s more acceptable to have them at an older age rather than being pressured to have children when you are still practically one yourself.
Thank you for sharing this. It gives me hope!❤
I’m 40, childfree and I know since I was a teenager that I don’t want by no means to become a mother. As I grow older, I feel more confident about my choice. I am lucky enough, to be living in a period of time as well as in a country, where society is not forcing me to reproduce myself, and I don’t want by no means to sacrifice my privilege!
Life is just perfect without kids. I’m avoiding as much as possible people with kids, places where kids are…. I’d rather listen to my relaxing music, I’d rather enjoy some interesting conversations with a friend or a partner, I’d rather fall asleep whenever I feel like when I’m not working……
Leaving my life childfee, is too good to be regretted 😅❤❤
This sounded like a Broadway show and church. Well written 💞
I have a son and I consider that having kids is a big responsibility!! Before having kids we need to be prepare mentally and financially… and the most important is choose the right partner because your experience will be bad or good depending of the type of person that you choose as a partner..
I’m married and I think the most beautiful and valuable thing in a relationship is when you receive emotional support from your partner when we have children..
Having children is a personal decision but if a person consider that she or he won’t have enough time and enough patience for their children it would be better not having them.
Children are little persons that need your help all the time all day in order to survive… so that is a huge responsibility but also a blessing ❤❤❤
You are doing well!! Waiting for the right person!!
😂 my comment is the biggest!! 🙂I’m a Spanish native speaker!! If I made any mistakes please 🙏 let me now 😇I watch your videos in order to practice my listening 👂 and thank you so much for being clear when you are speaking 🙂
Gracias ❤
I had my first baby at 36. Yes, it is work but very rewarding. I thought for a long time I didn't want kids. A therapist reassured me a lot, if not most, women are "fence sitters" about having kids--they may or may not want them. The great news is, you don't have to decide definitively either way today.
For me, I'm thinking about a second kid or not. I'm about to be 38 this year so the clock is definitely ticking for me! If it happens, that would be great but if it doesn't, I have one wonderful child.
Of course, if you do decide you want kids, don't waste your time dating men who don't want kids.
Nothing is easy in this world children or not,single or married?every journey has its ups and downs,Don't let fear stop u from getting what u want!
No . But I was never that focused on children. Also none of my exes were people I saw myself having children with. Freez your eggs if you can.
Best is to worry about being as stable and content as you can be. Mentally financially emotionally spiritually. You have yourself, your partner and your children more to offer. If you're balanced.
U Also need the necessary education on top of the stability to raise a child
Love this! Putting one first is hard at time but its very important.
I have heard SO MANY stories of woman having children and the father being absolutely absent or incompetent and sometimes purposely incompetent and they being “bound” to this man for the rest of their life stuck with children they love of course but with extremely little help and lots of stress.
I’ll never forget I asked one of the woman that was sharing her story with me, “ why is it that so many females I speak with Rarely ever tell me they have a good relationship with their babies father?” And she looked me dead in the eye and told me “ because it’s rare.” And that has been the most mind blowing, eye opening thing to me.
Ive heard many stories of doctors being incompetent when it comes to care for pregnant women that could leads to loss of the fetus or loss of the life of the woman and not to mention the MANY health issues pregnancy could cause.
I am male so I’m just going with the experiences that have been told to me, I believe being pregnant will be your most vulnerable time and caring for children is ABSOLUTELY no easy task and that you shouldn’t feel bad at all for not having any.
Yeah we need to end Baby Mama and Baby Daddy culture and change it to just Parents. Learn about the person you’re dating because its more than just looks. You can be dating a serial killer for all you know!
I became a first time mother shortly after turning 29. I will say off the bat that what you expect and what actually happens will most likely be two completely different things. I was going in expecting that I would give birth 'the traditional way' with no epidural. Went out of the hospital a few days after because of needing an emergency c-section instead. What classes tell you and what actually happens if there should be complications is appalling because you will have to make sense of the trauma that comes with what can go wrong. The saving grace was (and still is) because of my partner being so supportive and stepping in with everything. I'll say this much that I had the expectation that I woud do most of the rearing and spending time with the child by myself while my partner is at work and comes home after being tired - but he still makes the time to be with our son and do exactly what I do + rough play with him.
If you have the energy and means then make sure you think it through before going for it. It's hard when the 'biological clock' is imposed and seeing everyone around you becoming pregnant. Add the baby fever on top of it and it's a mental hell like no other. Most of all, make sure you are with someone who is in it 110% as much as you are because it makes it a little bit easier. It's still hard, but with that it's a slight bit easier.
I’m 32 going on 33 in a few months. I’m THANKFUL I do not have any children. Look at the state of the economy & inflation. Then, by 2030 it is expected for over 13 million ppl to have to change occupation due to AI. It is also a global food shortage expected in 2030. This has been predicted since 2015.
With that being said, my womb is closed. I refuse to bring forth a child in these uncertain times. The average American is barely making ends meet. It’s so much easier to make it in life as an individual. My heart goes out to the woman who were coerced, into having children and are now struggling (wether single or married).
In 1981 the U.S. debt reached $1 trillion. Now $34 trillion and just breaking $1 trillion in INTEREST on the debt. I don't see anyway to prevent the economy from eventually collapsing unless the super wealthy have a plan in place which is hopefully not to just save themselves.
Wow, great topic! I think many women can relate to this. I'll throw in my 2 cents. Sorry, this is long!
I'm a woman in my 40s now. If I could go back in time to my 20s or 30s, I would really ask myself: "What are my core values and what do I find meaningful in life?" Dig deep to understand who you are, what you want your life to stand for, and what truly gives you fulfillment, not what society tells you is important! Knowing yourself and what's true to you is the most important thing. Also, consider all the phases of your life. What's going to matter to you when you're 40, 50, 70?
I know women with children and women without them. From what I've seen, the parenthood experience is extremely variable! Some people adore the experience of motherhood, while others find it very stressful. Some people have easy pregnancies, and some people have very difficult ones, or had to experience miscarriages along the way. Some people deliver healthy babies, and some people deliver babies with serious health difficulties, and their infants have to spend a long time in the hospital. Some women's bodies bounce back after childbirth, and for some women, their bodies are never the same. Going into it, you have NO IDEA what's going to happen to you!!
Similarly, the lives of women without children is so variable! Some women love it, and travel the world or just enjoy having more time for themselves and their hobbies. Some women hate it, and wish very much to be one of the married women with children. One thing you must know if you are childfree is that you are going to be a minority. Especially as you get older, more and more of your friends will be married with children. You will be bombarded with baby showers, kids birthday parties, and Christmas cards of seemingly perfect, smiling families with children. You will listen to the pride women have when their children do well, and when they eventually become grandparents. You will listen to how women credit motherhood as their greatest accomplishment. Just be aware that you will be surrounded by this!
If being a mom deeply resonates with you, I would advise not waiting until your late 30s or early 40s. Yes, there are women who have kids later in life, but it's typically much harder! You have a harder time getting pregnant, you have a harder time staying pregnant (miscarriage really sucks), you have greater health risks, your baby has greater health risks, the fertility treatments out there aren't as good as you think they are, and you simply don't have the energy you did when you're 25. Now you have more money and life experience, but less energy.
The short answer is that we really have no idea what's going to happen in life! We can plan all we want, but whether the universe cooperates with our current plans or not is another matter! All we can do is know ourselves, identify what really matters to us, and have the courage to pursue that vision.
Such a wise comment ... thanks for sharing your thoughts
i totally feel you! i (female, 40) went through the exact same thoughts and believe it is very, very wise to question that when we grew up that having kids was very "expected" or "the normal thing to do". i always thought i wanted kids tol and now honestly from my heart can say i have not regret it to not have had kids yet. i am sure i would have made a good mom and made the best of it, but im honestly glad i didnt ever have a kid. if there was regret, you could always do some good in the world by adopting an older child or help take care of kids from friends (their parents might need the breaks too). i do have friends with kids who honestly talk about that they sometimes wish they had not chosen this life path, which has shown me how hard it really is to be a parent. it means giving up being the main person in your own life and one should be ready to do that when deciding to be a parent. having adopted a dog (and i take being a responsible dog owner very seriously, even though it is different/not like having a kid) there are a lot of similarities on having to care for another living being and i am glad to know now that with all the joy also comes a lot of responsibilty and hard times (which i am willing to do, but i also experienced that i probably couldnt/wouldnt want to handle much more responsibility than that ...which a child would definitely be). if it is not a "hell yeah, i want to be a parent and take care of a child 100% of my time" i think this actually really means "no". just my thoughts 🤷🏻♀️
I'm single too, 33 I used to say I'd just do IVF if l was single but with the costs of rent right now, id rather not have to deal with the stress of it.
You're in a position to curate your life and that's a blessing. Most of us were not planned, we were mistakes or surprises. I had my daughter at 36 and I was good and ready. She was planned and I'm grateful for her. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and our only is 4 years old. The best thing I did was not worry and lived my life. I never thought I wanted children, we planned not to have any, but one was the right thing for us and we felt no pressure at all. It was a natural evolution of our relationship. My life would still be complete without a child and while it's good to know what you want to do procreation wise, it's okay to admit that you just don't know. Parts of child rearing are frustrating but temporary, but also very rewarding and for sure grows you as a person. That being said, one was enough for me and perfect for our family and I would never pressure anyone or shame anyone about not wanting children. You seem like a very thoughtful and organized person and whatever is right for you will be ❤
LOVE THE "You're in a position to curate your life and that's a blessing" -- THANK YOU for sharing!!
Hi! I love this type of content and thank you for opening up to us. I am 33 and just had my 1st child 9 months ago. He brings me so much JOY! You ask one benefit of having a child and that is my top reason. When you have your child many things in your life change including how you see the world and children in general. Yes kids are a pain, and yes so many things will change after kids, but your life will just adjust naturally once babies are here. It's hard to describe in a comment but my son has changed my life in such an amazing way. I can still travel, have me time, do all of the things I want with him in my life. The plan just looks a little different. I absolutely do not regret having children at all. It may be easier that I am married and have a great support system around to help when needed, so I do say take that into consideration. The right time will come for you when it does. Please don't feel the need to rush but yes if you do want to have children I would not wait until 38 if possible. Good luck dear and I am rooting for you whatever your decision is whenever it happens. ❤️
5:44 A healthy person can have children well into their 40's. The whole "old egg" thing is about ocurrances of genetic predispositions becoming more likely. If you have healthy genetics, there's nothing to worry about except taking care of a child later in life is a lot more difficult and physically taxing on the more, pregnancy and all.
I'm also 33 and single, but I haven't had a serious relationship with someone where kids ever came up, and I was too busy with changing jobs and grad school and stuff to think about it much. Now, considering my age and health and living situation, it's definitely a question that has come up for me and I haven't come to a definitive decision about whether I want to have children. Since I was very young, I've always wanted to be a foster parent when I had the means, but I'm currently at a place where if I get pregnant I'll be happy to raise my child but I'm not going to be heartbroken if it doesn't happen naturally.
I think anything worth having in life is stressful and a lot of work. Kids included. I have two boys and I love being a mom. Motherhood changed me and made me a better person. It opened an area of compassion and empathy I didn’t know I had. My oldest is on the Autism Spectrum, and I’ve become a huge advocate for people with disabilities. This is something I would not have done if I didn’t have kids. Also, having kids allows your legacy to live on. I always wanted a loud house with family. I never wanted to grow old and be alone. Motherhood is beautiful and pushes you to your limit, but makes you a better wiser person. That’s just my experience. It’s not for everyone though.
The part you mentioned about advocacy for disabilities is beautiful but I have to say this in case other young girls are reading. Never have kids just so you won’t be “lonely” as an old person. It puts unnecessary bondage on kids as they feel obligated to put your feelings before theirs. It’s unfair and kinda selfish. Also there’s no guarantee that your kids will take care of you just because they’re your kids.
Thank you so much for sharing!!
@@andreabyrd714 if you don’t want to have kids do you! However it’s absolutely true that kids keep you company not just in old age! There’s nothing selfish about it, I love hanging out with my parents and visiting them. From the moment kids are born and while growing they are almost always in your company. Even when they leave to go to college and have their own life majority of kids want to stay in touch with their parents, some travel and do many activities with their parents. they can almost become like your best friends.
@@andreabyrd714You are right. I know without a shadow of a doubt my kids will not be taking care of me in old age and I am fine with that. I don't expect them to. If I could turn back the clock, I would not have kids. It has not been worth it or fulfilling for me in any way. I should never have been a mother. I envy childfree women. 😢
@rarejewel9678 wow sorry for your experience. I hope one day you're able to meet someone that will take care of you that you can trust, respect and accept. ❤
Really interesting video. I'm currently sat here feeding my 5 month old and for me, having a child has been the best thing I've ever done. Not in a cliché way. The deep love I feel for this little human is something I never know I could feel. However, the caveat is, I can imagine it's a lot harder if you don't have good support. My husband is an absolutely wonderful father and we're constantly tag teaming, so our lives have only been made better by having a child.
So, I think what makes or breaks the 'having a child' experience is the person who is by your side throughout it.
But you would've survived fine without those feelings. Just like how i survive without a porche.
I deeply believe in marry before you carry. I’m 21 and don’t want kids I’m not changing my mind. 1. Kids are becoming more and more expensive to raise. 2. Freedom and the ability to be spontaneous is severely limited by children. 3. I want my world to just be my partner and I. I do plan on being a wonderful God-mom!
Same here,but sometimes I worry I will have no one when I get old.
@@Tiffanysmith339having a child doesn't guarantee that either
Marriage doesn’t protect you from being abandoned or getting a divorce. Some partners change after marriage.
LOVe that... marry before you carry! LOL
I’m 27. I had my daughter when I was 25. I lived alone from 17-25 and i really enjoyed it. I enjoyed being selfish and self-centered. If i didn’t feel like cooking, cleaning or leaving the house, I didn’t have to. So becoming a mom was a very difficult change for me.. however, I enjoy it now but i don’t think it’s something I want to do all over again lol
Also, in the beginning, I surrounded myself around goal driven people who had plans for life other than becoming a mom or being married..
Eventually, i started being around people my age who were moms and who dreamed of being married.. I still didn’t want that, but you become your surroundings lol
I'm 28 so in the same phase of life as you (unmarried, no kids). Having kids is never something I really daydreamed about. Maybe at a young age I just figured that was the thing people did so I assumed I would have them. But then I started to pay close attention to what I envisioned my "perfect life" would be like, and kids just weren't a part of that. Right now, all I really daydream about is having my own house, traveling, and finding a life partner. Not to mention that being single means I have a ton of free time and additional $$ that would definitely not be available if I had kids. My life is MINE and I can choose to do whatever I want. Last weekend I tried out a new restaurant, went to an art museum, and then spent the afternoon reading in a coffee shop - and had a fabulous time. Of course, you can do those same things with kids but it just wouldn't be as enjoyable. Anyway, you are definitely not alone!!
Personnally, building a healthy family and having kids is definitley more important than my career. Being a mom and a wife, having a healthy relationship with my kids and husband are number one priority in life for me. Btw, i'm still single, with no kids and am 26yo. I wish you a happy fulfilling life no matter the path you choose. ❤
Just as a note, the traditional familiy dynamic was built on a single income dynamic and a low cost of living. 50, 60, 70 years ago, children or a family was sustainable without a high school diploma, now you can't get a descent paying job without a bachelors degree. The family dynamic is dead because greedy profiteers killed it.
you are right!!
@@xoxoakouto There was this video by Steven Molyneux about human farming and how the wealthy elite keep people just poor enough to have them working all the time. We're in the culmination of human farming and the profiteerist dystopia. For all intents and purposes, the US is an aristocratic oligarchy, not a republic or a democracy. Being single parent now is extremely hard. It can be done, but that first four or five years is a nonstop uphill battle if you don't have financial stability to pay for day care or preschool.
TW!!!!!!!!!!⚠️⚠️
Loss
They should tell you to worry about complications at 35-40. What they don’t tell you is that can happen at any age.
I was in my 20 when I got preggo had complications and have traumas with the loss.
What they should is prepare not only your physical body but your mind for anything that can happen.
And I also mean that if they do come wonderfully, you have to remember you are mentally and physically responsible for another human that doesn’t have the same thought process as yourself .
I am 31 almost 32 next month in a 7 yr relationship and I am at the realization until you meet someone and really know someone who checks out all the boxes don’t pressure yourself to have kids before you end up having kids with the wrong person. Love yourself first always and your personal guidance will do the rest. At the moment in my life I wish I was single so I can focus more on my personal goals when the opportunity for child birth comes it will but I know ppl who in their late 30’s still haven’t birthed any kids yet.
Im 37, i grew up in a narcissistic family & im struggling financially with no help & with crazy "parents" & "sister" who call me & try to force me to be in contact with them after i told them that i dont want to.
I was engaged 10 years ago with ex bf from university period who was toxic as enabler of his narcissistic family & we canceled the wedding.
At this point i dont want children coz i think that children needs a stable, happy & healthy family. I think that being a single mom demage the child.
i have pain when i c other mothers at my age & all my friends from childhood got marriad & brought children into this world, but i understand that maybe it didnt ment to be in my life's journey.
Im also same as u that i saw myself as a mother & everybody told me that when i was a kid myself that its like i was born to be a mother.
But nowdays im trying to heal my trauma & to bring myself into a stable financial spot coz im just struggling to survive in tough toxic times when at every workplace there r cluster b or toxic managers & cluster b or toxic HR & their flying monkeys & enablers, & ppl normalized evil & narcissistic behaviours as if its normal. & i dont try to fit in coz im an introvert & coz i dont want to be part of toxic circles.
I wont bring children just to be a mother. It aint fair for them. I want to meet some1 who he will be my partner 4 life, even if it will happen on the age of 55.
It is a lot of rewarding work. I have a 29 year old & an 11 year old!
I'm 19, no kids. I used to not want children because of the environment I grew up in, but I've changed my mind after thinking hard about it. I want to have one child, three at most. I want this to happen when I'm 33+. I think I'll be established enough by then. Having children takes a lot of patience and money, so I don't want to be prepared for it (a lot of people say you can't prepare to become a mother, but I think you can to an extent). I don't have a partner yet, but I am looking to date with the intent of marriage. Kids are not the end deal for me, though. I can do without a child.
I would also like to have a child (only one or max 2) - but as you say, it can be when I'm 33-34. That's the perfect time I think
Nobody knows what they want at 19. Prefrontal lobe isn't even developed yet until 25.
My biggest trouble lately in my depression is not having a job or car or home .The right person will come along that happen to me I was with the wrong men till I met my hubby unexpected
I’m 32, don’t have kids and no husband or potential on the horizon…Still don’t know if I ever will have kids, but I would definitely need a husband at my side to raise any…though in my opinion, I don’t think it’s worth it having kids in the United States…
I know I will regret not having kids. But first it’s hard to find the right partner to do it with. I don’t want to do it alone.
Thank you for putting your thoughts out there and opening the conversation publicly about such controversial topics. I am a mother, and I've always known that I wanted children. Motherhood has been challenging as far as giving up some of my freedom, finding babysitter, and making sacrifices, but i love being a mother. I love how my son is happy to see me when I get home; i love watching him run around laughing and playing; i love watching him sleep. I'm amazed at how fast he's growing...so basically I'm enjoying motherhood.
So if you're unsure about whether you'll regret having a child or not having a child, i would say have at least 1 child or adopt one. The regret of having a child is usually due to hardship of raising the child, and it doesnt last; the child grows up to be independent, and it gets easier. Now, the regret of not having a child, especially after it's too late, lasts a lifetime. It's also worth thinking about that if you do decide to have a child, you may end up having a child with special needs, who may need you to care for him or her for a lifetime. If that scares you, but you're still unsure whether you want children or not, then adoption may be a good option. With or without children, enjoy your life; pursue relationships that bring you peace and joy; keep a positive social circle; and faith in a higher power is a protective factor against stress.
Love your thoughts! Thank you for sharing! I don't want that regret for the rest of my life...
I'll be 33 this year and I'm literally losing health because of this pressure. I have struggled with anxiety all my life and I suffered all throughout my 20s. Broken family, literally had to run away from home, no one to help me, a failed course, low paying Jobs where i was bullied, low mental health, a relationship that didn't start that well, you name it. No financial means for much, and I could only buy my own house one year ago, with my boyfriend. I feel like all my life i've been suffering, and now that i could enjoy it a little bit more, maybe happier and healthier, motherhood is right around the corner haunting me. I don't feel ready in any aspect, i don't think I'm mentally healtly for such a violence yet, i can barely take care of myself even... My point is, life has been a bitch to me, i lost all my 20s. All I wanted was some comforting and people telling me i will be fine, and that i have time. But it's a neverending loop of searching for people who became moms later and at the same time hearing horror stories from other people about every little thing that can go wrong if i delay it. What scares me the most is that Nature doesn't care if you have the means or not, but i truly don't! My life is not figured out yet, same goes for my mental state. If only i could get a guarantee that having a baby later will turn out fine. I live in fear and anxiety because of this. It's stopping me from living in the present even. 😢
This is exactly what I’m experiencing. It sucks that we as women don’t have forever to figure it all out. When you get to our age, there’s so much pressure and some women showing off that they’re a wife and a mother, as if other women are losers for not being those things. On the flip side, I know women who wish they never had kids young and super resentful of the fact that I had my own place and got to party, live and travel, kid free. It sucks that society pushes us as women to have kids before we feel ready , then the whole biological clock thing. I always wondered that too, what if you meet your person in your 40’s.. having kids is a permanent attachment to someone. It is very stressful and at 32, the idea of being pregnant and pushing out a human life still scares me and I feel so young still. Even worse, the idea of hating it, since there is no reversal. Thanks for your openness in the video. You have no idea how many women feel the same way.
I’m 35 and just had a baby in November. I never thought I would have a child but my husband set up a lifestyle where is was feasible and I spent my 20s having fun, travelling, building a career (just switch it later lol). I am fully committed to being a mom and it’s rewarding. However, I would NEVER have done this without a secure relationship (had to be married), money in the bank, family support for childcare, have already dealt with my emotional issues etc etc. you can absolutely be a mom if that’s what you want but please please set up up your lifestyle so it can be as easy and as pleasant of an experience as possible 🙏🏾
I just turned 35 yesterday and im happy to have no kids. Too expensive and too much responsibility. These days its so pricey to live, most people cant even afford themselves
thank you for sharing your reflection ❤ my mother had me when she was 43 years old and I'm completely healthy. I know that every journey is different, but I don't think you need to be so anxious about it once you are not really sure if you want children.
I am 33 as well and i love being child free.
I knew that i didn't want any children ever when I was about 10-11.
I broke off an engagement in my 20s, because the guy suddenly wanted children out of the blue.
Now I have an amazing husband, who supports my decisions and we're just having fun fun fun.
No shackles which keep us down to live the life we want ^^
And you know, i know women who opened up about regretting their kids. They love them, there's no turning back, but they would act different if they could turn back time. But i also know one woman who got inseminated, because she wanted to be a mom but didn't have a serious partnership at that time.
In the end you do you, whatever makes you happy,
Girl, have them when you want them, can provide for them, and have a partner who you wouldn't mind them becoming and who will help you out.I'm about to be 36. I would like to be a mom but not at the expense of my sanity and health. In my vast dating history, it's only my current partner who I met two years ago who I would EVER even THINK to raise a child with. If you want to have a child, you can get inseminated and do it now. If you want to have a healthy FAMILY that is a different goal altogether and means partner selection and vetting is the most important thing!
I’m also 33, no kids due to fibroids. I’ve been working to heal my body especially this year to try again as we’ve been trying for 1 year. However, I have 7 friends right now who are above 35 and are pregnant, some with twins, naturally, no IVF. So, we have time!!
Hey sis I am you just 8 years in the future. I have fibrod and ended up having my first child at 38 and twins at 40 without any assistance. You got this! ❤
@@09kenedy this brought me to TEARS! Thank you for sharing this with me!!!!!
@@09kenedycongratulations did you have the fibroids removed before you conceived?
@@FullyLovingYourself 💗
@@magdalenelawson hey sis nah they are still there. One died during my first pregnancy but 4 smaller ones popped up i it’s place. I thought about getting them removed but was advised to not “tamper” with my uterus unless I absolutely had to. Best wishes!
I had mt first at 32 and my second at 33 and motherhood has been the most humbling experience of my life and I am a better person for it so no regrets. But yes it is hard!
I always said I didn't want kids. Growing up i seen how hard it was on my mother raising 3 kids by herself and then having to deal with both of my older siblings becoming parents, living at home still and me (the youngest) helping them care for their children. Yes I'm Auntie, but i didn't sign up for that. I used to lose sleep at night to wee hours of the morning since my sister needed help with her children that were 13 months apart and we shared a room. I was still expected and forced to go to school not able to focus or concentrate. Then watching my siblings deal with the individuals they had kids with was a sh** show like i can't believe yall decided to reproduce with these cheaters, abusers, good for nothing aholes. Now I'm in my 30s and I've entertained the idea of kids, but honestly i think I'm OK. I've had men trying to trap me with a kid and i wasn't having it 😂😂 it wasn't so much freedom for me, but the way the world is, i would rather adopt
Women can have babies well into their 40s. If you want kids there's time. But if you aren't 100% sure, don't do it. I'm a mom of a teenager, it has its challenges.
I'd recommend freezing your eggs which can give you more time to decide. It sounds like you and I had a similar longing from a young age to be a mom. I just turned 30 and my husband and I have been going through infertility for 5 years and 3 months now so I can relate with the tug of enjoying not having kids while also still wishing for them.
No you shouldn't be. The world is messed up and bring another human into it these world won't help you. Especially if you not mentally there. Continue to work on yourself. God will Bless with one in his timing.
50s, married 34 years, kids, grands, all good. However, not everyone is as "lucky" as we are.
Stay single. Stay child free. Its TONS of responsibility. Life is extremely short. We may be going into WW3. Do yall really want to bring little kids into this evil world????
I have honestly wanted to foster or adopt. I like being child-free too but there are other options ❤.
You can freeze your eggs just in case you decide you want to carry later
Don’t do it. I have kids but don’t do it. You don’t know what you are going to get. Meaning a disabled kid, a serial killer, etc. I just have do some tricks just to get a hysterectomy. I wished I could have gotten this at 18.
How are your kids?
@@seektruth5750 They are not serial killers. They are good but if I could have had a hysterectomy before I had them I would. I have a boy and a girl and they fighting was crazy. He doesn’t live with me because he has special needs and needed more support than I can give him because I don’t have a village. My daughter is great. She’s on the debate team at school and playing the viola. She has a good head on her shoulders. Sometimes it’s society that makes it hard to have children because your values are different and it’s hard to find help with the same values as you and respect your opinions and boundaries. It’s a lot to it.
@@giovannanicolas8299 I see, well I’m glad that your son is getting the help he needs and happy for your daughter and hope she flourishes even more, I love debating. I hope you’re ok too 💯
@@seektruth5750 thank you
My fiancé and I said we will prioritize our struggling families first. Then if we can be a bit successful, we can adopt. Then if we get pregnant, so be it if God wills!
I like your perspective, and I would love to hear more perspectives from people (like me) who grew up thinking we were going to have kids, but saw the benefits of being childfree and are open to staying that way. If I had nieces and nephews, that would be a happy middle.
I'm 30 and I don't want to have kids. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He is the best partner for me and sometimes I feel sad that he won't be a father because I think he would be a great one. He has endless patience and is just a natural at dealing with kids (he is a school bus driver so he interacts with kids a lot). He and I both like kids but don't want them. I have a bad relationship with my family so I would have basically no support from them. And I have a lot of mental health issues from growing up with said family. Plus I still don't know what I want to do career-wise. I'm sure I'll be a great "aunt" for my friends who want to have kids. If I want to be around kids I can volunteer or babysit for my friends!
Remember you are a kid to yourself.Take care of yourself first.Become a family member of any family that has kids.Your desire to become a mother is a good idea too.
I am 33 too and have no kids so your video resonates with me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. For me, I love my independence for now, but I think I would like a family in the future. There is still time to figure it out. We do not need to worry and make definitive decisions now. I am enjoying your content. Thanks again :)
Girl your channel is growing so quickly!! Drop some tips
one video of hers blew up...now her new content is similar to that video that blew up..talk about what people are interested in by looking at the views and interaction
thank you! I've been very lucky! best tip is have a very good title and thumbnail, and have good content. What works for my channel is i make relatable content but find something that works for you! You can literally make videos about anything on this site. If you're in doubt, literally turn on the camera and talk... people love that.
You're so brave for even discussing this openly! I've had these same fears and I am a mother! There's something about being a mother especially with a man that supports and loves you is an absolutely beautiful experience. I've had a child in a failed relationship when I was 20. I met my now husband at 30 and had our first at 32, and expecting our second and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
All of your points are valid- it is a lot of work, a lot of sacrifice, I can't even explain the joy of seeing a human you created .
My mom had us in her late thirties and she told me she wasn't worried about having kids and when she did she couldn't believe at one time she didn't think she wanted them ❤
If you had a vision of having kids in your life, plan to have one before it’s too late. Freeze eggs if this is not the right time for you. I am childless in my 40’s, I love my life. I am aunty to many. The difference between you and me is, I never imagined my life with kids. I was very vocal about choosing not to bring a child to this world. Now all my friends have kids and sometimes it is hard unless you are a good auntie like me who loves children. It is tiresome to attend their milestones! Sometimes, I do wonder if I made the right choice. Because my case is irreversible, I am ok with it but people will never let you alone. Being childless is not for everyone. I hope you won’t regret it.
The point is to find love. With a partner that will treat you well. Then figure out if you wish to found a family with your person.
💯 a great partner and relationship is the foundation for making having children a pleasant experience
Easier said than done but ok
The answer to the title is Hell the fuck no. U right on track
Comparison is the thief of Joy.
I've always wanted 3 boys, I have 1 boy and 2 girls lol single mom. I have to say, without my mom, I don't know how I'd manage. I also feel like I'd be doing the most with all the money I'd be saving from not having to provide for 3 growing humans. Kid's are frustrating but they are also such a beautiful experience, my kids are amazing and I love watching them grow. There are challenges and blessings, so it's all up to you and what you want for your life. I want a BIG family. Also I don't want to be an old lady without children and possibly grandchildren.
It all depends on if you want kids. So you want them ? I never wanted any. I always knew that . This isn’t the 1940s anymore where people had kids to take care of them in their older years. Men worked. Women stayed home with the kids . Today is different. It’s way more expensive and most people can no longer just not work and stay home taking care of their sick parent. Taking care of a sick parent is a 24/7 job. It’s also physically exhausting and will break your back etc if you have to physically lift them to a chair and change their diaper etc. these days you need two incomes just to be able to survive. People are waiting later to have kids or not have them now. Also , times being so different then our parents it’s important we set aside money so we can be cared for when we need it. I also would never want to put my child in a position to take care of me 24/7. I wouldn’t want that burden on anyone. Also , if you wait until you are 35 an older the risks of having a child with autism , developmental delays and all kinds of health issues yourself while pregnant increase the older you get. Yes you can have a child at 35-38 etc but things wik get harder. Also , do you want to be an old mom to tired to do anything with your kids. So you want an old dad who is to tired to play with his kids etc. having a child is a huge decision. A ton of responsibility and unless you make a lot of money very expensive. I’m glad I never had any. My childhood was terrible. What I seeen just made me not want ti bring anyone in this world and experience what I did.
I’m 31 no children and I enjoy being child free for many of the reasons you mentioned. That’s definitely the way I want to keep it. I personally will never understand why there are so many people out there who try to tell others what they should or shouldn’t do with their own life. So many people who judge others for not wanting to become parents. Everyone should just decide what’s best for their own life.
I just found your amazing channel - and I think you are very wise to consider this so carefully. I'm a mom (and fought hard to be one) but I do think if it's not a huge desire, consideration is very, very smart. I have friends without kids and they are very happy.
Based on your video, i think that it's not that you specifically didn't want kids you just didn't have favourable circumstances,and that's completely fine, everyone has their own right time.Its better to find the right person and have kids rather than doing the opposite.Also for women we have a limited timespan to have kids so yeah I think if you should find the right partner first and then maybe think about a child.
I love your channel and the positivity in your comments ❤
Firstly thank you for sharing about a very real issue us women face. Like you I’m 33 and childless. Honestly I’m in limbo, I share the same outlook like you enjoying my lifestyle and freedom but concerned about waiting too late also. I’ve also seen family and friends lives change for the worst after having children unfortunately. I have 2 friends that are 10 years older than me that decided to just live in their 30s and wait until the man then children came . It didn’t unfortunately. Now they are wanting to conceive with donors.I respect this is just their experience and not everyone’s experience though. From their experience Im starting to believe it is worth having a plan now. I think you’re doing the right thing by seeking advice from both child free and mothers. I’m right there with you. Thanks again 🩷
I relate to this so much. It can feel so overwhelming sometimes to think about especially when you start to think of the prospect of regret. I don’t want kids and I’m not sure I ever really have but I do worry that one day I’ll feel lonely maybe? And regret this decision. I know that I’ll have friends and family and many things that will give me fulfillment but society often tells us that to be happy while aging you need kids which is frustrating.
I had that moment till 30 stop looking for it and it will come to you your not alone hun .
Society put a lot of pressure on women, that if they are a certain age and in a relationship preferably married, you should have kids. I think having kids should be a personal choice no matter what anyone says and at the appropriate age. Women if you are a little beyond child barring age, consult with your doctor to make sure you are able to have a healthy birth. Not everyone is cut out to be parents. I think you also have to be financially, physically and mentally ready to take on the task of being a parent. Kids do not come with a owner manual. You will make mistakes. You have to have a lot of patients and parenting is about sacrifice and selflessness. It is no longer about you, its about the child. Just think about it and pray on it.
I just discovered your channel and left a comment in your other video. I’m not normally compelled to comment on RUclips videos but your story resonates with me because we’re the same age. Here’s my thoughts as a 33 y.o single mom by choice. I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom too. I always envisioned that ideal life for myself, timeline, husband checklist, everything. But to your point, you can’t map out your life to a science. When I found out I was pregnant right after breaking up with my toxic ex at 28, I was frozen with fear. Concerned with everything you mentioned that comes along with raising a child, amplified with being single, having no full-time job, no supporting partner, and having to deal with all the judgement and stigma from my traditional family!! My mind was a mess. But hey, fast forward 4 years it’s been the most rewarding and life-changing decision of my life. I’ve been blessed with a great job since he was born, we’ve travelled to three different continents, visited around 5 different countries already. When you decide to empower yourself with whatever you decide, it will work for you. My dating life has been non-existent though… and it’s not due to lack of time or confidence. But since becoming a mom, I really started my healing journey and dove deep into my self-love and worth. I’m waiting for my Prince Charming to come around when it’s my time, which means I am absolutely unwilling to settle for anything less than the love I deserve. Until then, I’m so glad I made the choices that were right for me at that point in my life which continues to bring me so much joy. I can’t speak for other moms, but my child is a whole vibe. I created my match when it comes to adventure, life, enjoying food together, and all the humor and entertainment he brings daily. I know I was scared when I had to make my huge life choices but I don’t second guess it at all. I know this was the path meant for me. I hope this adds some insight and helps you with whatever decisions you choose to make.
33 here, same boat. You speaks my mind. I ask so many people, read so many interviews in different forms. I still don’t know the answer. Because I think I’m the end everyone’s experience and life journey is different. All I know now is that, don’t think about the future because that will stress you out. Focus on what you want now and let life plays out itself. ❤ love your videos. And you are right! “You are not alone”
I'm a 36 year old childfree woman. I assure you, having kids is not your responsibility in life as a woman. You are the main character in your life and can live it as you choose. Live it freely for yourself and for all the women before you who were forced to be incubators and unpaid laborers confined to their homes. Society, particularly men, do not value our worth as mothers, partners, and wives. They do not deserve our endless physical and emotional labor. Live free, ladies.
It's not her responsibility, but it seems to be something that she really wants and there's nothing wrong with that.
I just found your channel and going down a rabbit hole of your videos!! ❤❤
Me and my bf of 2 years both 28 years of age, bith feel like we arent ready. We arent fully into our careers yet, dont own a home and live paycheck to paycheck. Also we are still learning ourselves and eachother, im looking forward to more child free time with him. Honestly the fact that people are having children at the same stage as us or even more behind is astounding to us and i really want to understand the mindset
Hey I respect your opinion and the fact that you are sharing it with us! I love how you speak your mind but your still respectful to those whom choose other wise. I'm 27, had a baby boy, my husband is years older than I am. So he is way more mature than I am, we actually got therapy before we decided to have a baby because we didn't want any childhood trauma or any of our troubles to affect our baby's childhood. There's not too many babies on my side of the family, we all waited till our later 20's to have children so my support system is great on both ends. Everybody is so excited for the baby! His side of the family, he has many siblings so they don't mind watching the baby till we vacation. My husband works his company, I stay home until I'm ready to go back to work and really find something I enjoy doing. Beginning of my pregnancy was difficult sickness all day but 2nd trimester I felt great! Of course if you find someone worthy and responsible to marry, having children won't be as tough on you, I just don't think it's something women should struggle alone with.
I am 37 don't have kids, never wanted them. I live together with my boyfriend, dog and rabbits. And I love it this way.
I have friends who have children, they all tell me how hard it can be. So even if I wanted them with my disability and energy problems I would not know how I would have been able to handle it. But luckily it is not an issue. Me not wanting kids has nothing to do with my disability.
Thank you for this video. I am trying desperately to figure out the motherhood topic. My husband is supportive and I feel no pressure from him but I feel like I’m running out of time even though I still have my 30s ahead.
All the women in my family are so sure about having kids, so I never feel comfortable talking to them about my concerns. Anyway knowing that others struggle with this topic too and reading your comment section have given me much-needed peace 🤎
I love this space ❤
Hey, childfree girl here! I‘m turning 37 in September. Happily married for 16 years already. Really enjoying my life. With every passing year I’m happy with my decision even more. The pressure from family and society to have kids has been really massive sometimes. Really happy that I didn’t cave in and went against myself.
You are beautiful . Just discovered your channel. I am 24 years old and sometimes I worry if I will live out the rest of my life alone. But lately I've been thinking maybe that wouldn't be so bad. There are plenty of kids out there without parents that I could raise once I am financially stable. Thank you for sharing your story it is truly helpful because we don't often hear this side of things.
No don't worry! I had my first child at 24 married and divorced 2 years later and became a single parent, talk about scared. I had this little human being that says failure is not an option and believe me I failed a lot. I had to move back home, and I did have great family support, which got me through some rough times. I had My second child at 30, and my third at 35 and remarried; still married 20 years later. Remember with children it's no longer about you; you are totally responsible for someone else's well-being. Children are an investment, and parenting is a very hard job, I love my children dearly, but my God, the highs and lows of parenting get be really rough.
Freeze your eggs sis, you can carry a baby at any age❤
This video helped me feel better. I feel like I’m running out of time to have children too but at the same time I’m scared to have them!!!! I work with children and have helped raise many so I’m EXHAUSTED. (I’m a speech therapist and a nanny) I know first hand what it’s like to raise infants, toddlers, kids, teenagers. It’s very difficult. Sometimes I freeze in situations because I’m not sure what the right thing to do is. Sometimes I want to run away and hide under a rock when they want my attention or need constant food, drinks, validation. As a caregiver, you are pretty much a slave to children. If they want or need something you have to drop what you’re doing and serve them. I can’t even eat sometimes or I eat last. It’s hard to nourish my own body when I’m slaving away taking care of kids. I want my own but I’m also feeling BURNT OUT!!!😢😭💔 I miss have uninterrupted 8 hours of proper sleep cycles and quiet days. If I meet the right partner, I would love to have my own. I just need to have a strong man by my side who is going to do the work with me. ❤️
I'm 36, male, and im a father to one biological daughter and one stepdaughter (who I'll always consider my daughter). I have to say, after my divorce last year, life has been very difficult. I dont get to see my kids everyday, my exwife wants to move out of the state with the kids. We share 50/50 custody, but she doesn't work, so im paying over $600 a month in child support. My ex and I also have limited support, so marriage was difficult to find alone time. There was a lot of stress! I love my kids, but I wish I had a larger support system.