“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, the hollows of your chest. Grief is just love, with no place to go.” ~Jamie Anderson
Before you hear the punsh line of a joke, the brain tried to make predictions and let's say you made 4 predictions and then one was right, the other 3 predictions has to go somewhere, the energy has to convert, so it converts to laughter. I see this quote is similar but instead - all the possible love that you could've given - is then converted into grief. I wonder what differentiates the two states.
Hello everyone, I love you all. This year June I married the greatest woman in the world, and yesterday was the end of our honeymoon. Yesterday, she hit a bus stop sign that was on the bicycle track with her bicycle, and today her brain died. She was an organ donor, so she saved six people's lives around the world. I'm very proud of her, but at the same time, I'm in unbelievable pain. I know that nothing will help with the pain except knowing that she is a hero. Please honor her with a one-minute silence. Her name was Gerda.
My heart and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. Incredibly selfless and kind. Stay strong my friend. Your wife was and will always be an amazing woman. I'm keeping her in my thoughts.
I lost both my parents in the earthquake in Turkey. It's been a month. however, it is not getting easier. The things we could not do together, the words that were not uttered, and the loss of so much potential and opportunity are endless. They are haunting me every day. I am able to sleep, and function mostly at work but I am bleeding inside.
So sorry 😢, take one day after the other 😮, just keep on breathing and going. One day, in the far future you will feel better. It will take a lot of time and nothing will be as it was. That s life 😢
Thank you for acknowledging pets. I lost my beloved girl last week after 14.5yrs and the pain and grief is almighty. The absence is surreal, I don't know who I am without her.
Yes, me too. Mine went to heaven this January. She had special needs so my life revolved around her, happily. I loved her so intensely. So who am l now?
I understand. The pets are members of our families. My dogs have kept me going after losing my hubs of nearly 42 years. Sending you love, peace and healing. 😌
@mark-cherylfeinberg271 I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, that's an entire lifetime. You must have shared, and will forever, a very strong and special love 😔 I'm glad your pups are with you now to support you through your grief. Sending all the love and healing your way too 🤍
This really hit me! I feel like I’ve been grieving the loss if our habitat. Which is very hard to get better at living with, as the likelihood of my kids dying from some climate disaster or catastrophe, climbs each year. The insects and animals are disappearing at alarming rates. I’m just trying to get through the grief so I can help my kids to prepare for a very different future.
I lost the woman I wanted to spend my life with in March and I have been struggling to find meaning in my own life ever since... I miss her so much.. the grief hurts so bad it drops me to my knees at times.. I've dealt with loss many times in my life with several family members, grandparents, and my father but the grief isnt the same feeling as losing someone who was your other half and your best and only friend and someone you sacrificed for and gave your whole heart too... she had a son too who I helped raise from the time he was 2 until he was 6 and I treated him like he was my own and spent time with him everyday and now I never see him.. I lost my whole family in one swoop... I stupidly thought that holding my girls hand in the hospital as she was pulled off life support and as she passed from this life to the next was rock bottom and it couldn't get any worse than that... little did I know that it wasnt.. I haven't hit rock bottom yet but I now know that what comes after the loss is much worse.. the coming home to an empty home, the lack of response when you say I love you out loud to yourself, the longing for their voice their touch their smile looking back at you their warmth their embrace their kiss, the silent car rides doing all the basic tasks you used to do together, the waking to an empty home that was once shared, the closing off the room they spent the most time in because you can't bare to be in their because it's too painful and you keep picturing them there, the inability to sleep in your bed because you shared it with them and now you sleep on the couch because the bed is no longer comfortable without them, the change in routine for your day because you no longer have the same responsibilities as you used to have, the waiting for your phone to light up with a message from them, passing by all the favorite places the 2 of us always went too and all her favorite places she loved to shop, all the unfulfilled plans and promises of things you always wanted to do with them or do for them that can never be fulfilled, all the things you pass by and say I bet thet would love this and the "want" to tell them about it or surprise them with it and the sudden realization that you cant, and the million other minor details that are now missing in your life after the loss of your other half are all worse than the initial loss.... nothing can ever fill that place... and it never will... can you die from heartbreak? I only hope I'm close behind so I can see her again I truly miss her...
I understand..I had a loss similar to the loss you described in your comment...there is no way around it; it can drop you to your knees in pain and sorrow. My faith in the Creator is the only thing I am holding onto. Be well.
you spoke the words perfectly. I just lost my mom and I didn't cry at the hospital. It was very sudden, I saw her the day before and she looked fine. I guess I was shocked. But now afterwards, daily life is where the loss happens, and I resonate with your words. I'm so very sorry for your loss. There are no words to console. It's hard to make sense of things, find purpose, hope, or faith moving forward. I hope for the creator to bring you comfort and show you how beautiful and expansive she is as a free soul. I'm waiting for this to have a purpose in my life
I inherited my soulmates home I moved into eighteen years ago. I sleep on the couch also and my heart will hurt always till I see him again. Everything you wrote I thought about. Just to let you know I saw him four days after he passed in the living room. We all meet again. Our work here on earth has not ended yet.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Really there are no words. Know that you are not alone, and it will change with time. The pain will lessen in time. One thing....you mention her young son. I don't know what the reason is that you are not seeing him now, but if at all possible, for his sake and for your own, you being able to support each other through this loss could be immensely healing... Bless you, and all who loved her.💔❤🩹
Unprocessed grief is not just about a death of a person or pet. Grief goes much deeper,. For instance the disappointment of life, the death of a dream, aging, unmet expectations, a traumatic childhood or event, losing a body part, becoming disabled, going though a pandemic, the list goes on and on.
I lost my husband going on 6 years ago. He passed away on May 28th, 2018. I came home and he had passed away of a heart attack. I didn’t get to say goodbye. We were married 41 years and loved each other very much. I was devastated the first 8 months. I cried every day. The lost of my best friend, protector, provider, strong arms to hold me, my love. When we were first married I use to say the poem to him or give it in a card How do I love thee let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day’s most quiet need by sun and candlelight. I love thee freely as men strive for right. I love thee purely as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints. I love thee with the breath smiles, tears, of all my life; and if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. It’s almost 6 years we never slept apart and I have had trouble sleeping since his side of the bed is empty. Last month I lost our puppy we had for 17 years. She slept at the foot of our bed. She is with her daddy now in heaven and I know one day I will be there with them so I have that hope. Everyday I tell them good morning and talk of them through the day. Grief morphs into a dull sadness a longing a yearning that never goes away. But I am better. ❤😇✝️
I am so o sorry for your loss! I know exactly what U R going through, I use to wear his clothes just to feel him,& hopes of smelling his scent. Our dog also died shortly as you rs. I hated life, & I at times didn't want to live either,I lost all the Lord's faith. I may not be of much help, but hopefully you'll want to watch movies& get out,get a new pet to walk,made some church friends I know with time it will get better!stay +peace
The comments in here. Wow! Such beautiful hearts. Makes me cry. Ooahh gentle Queens with the love of the whole world in your soul amen hallelujah! Hugs and love! Your deep love inspires me. That there will be a man one day who will allow me to love him this way and love me back the same…. Ooahh. ❤❤❤. Our love is beautiful-the way we love- can never be repeated amen
Thank you for including pets. I just lost my dog I had for 7 years and I am really going through it. It’s incredible the emotional bond we can develop towards our pets. It’s very much the loss of a loved one. 🥺 I miss my little Mojo 🐾 🤎
I understand well, I lost my Dakota who was 13+ years old and as a dog we were best buds and he was my soulmate. He got degenerative myelopathy and lost the use of his rear legs and had to let him go. I cry everyday and miss him so. RIP Dakota
My neighbor lost her beloved pet a week after I lost my fiancé. I was so blown wide open I saw her grief was no less than my own and in our shared losses we became unlikely friends. I’m sorry for all our losses and hope more of us become less isolated by it.
Me too I lost my 2 beautiful cats a few months ago. I'm so heartbroken. I still don't sleep very well and I don't have much of an appetite. My home and my life feels so empty without my fur babies😢 So sorry for everyone else's loss. 💔😥
A free and open internet is really a cornerstone making this possible for these beautiful people. Just something to keep in mind when bureaucrats discuss adding laws and control to the internet.
Thank you for this! I lost my 17 yr old daughter 6 months ago. I honestly still can't believe it. My brain doesn't let me believe that she is actually gone. It will tell me she is at school or away with friends. When I get those moments when I realize she really is gone it is too much.
I lost both of my parents in one year. It seemed like yesterday they were here. Sometimes it does hit me hard they are really gone and I won't see them as long as I live. I understand that and I'm sorry for your loss. When I'm having a bad day I actually cry for my mom. Death sucks big time and is cruel. I hate it.
I lost my dog this week to a completely unexpected terminal illness. I have never felt such sadness in my soul. She was such a good friend. She did what we needed her to do and we never had to correct her behavior. She slept in my bed every night and had my days regimented for 8 years. She was such a fun and funny animal. I can’t believe she had to go. I still think about what to cook that I can share with her or see parks that I think we should go to b.c she would enjoy new sniffs…then I realize she is no longer with us and get so sad. My sincere condolences to everyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. I pray for your peace and return to joy.
Its barely just past 2 weeks i lost my little loyally loving guy. I miss him so much it kills me not seeing or hearing his funny muffled bark...so quiet and painful without his love. I really appreciate and relate to your post. The routine and feeding him has made me now feel lost without him. He loved his food and treats...i knew he was sick when he didn't or just couldn't eat. I'm glad hes not hurting, as it was very difficult saying goodbye. I hope we can see them one day. Just hard not having my boys love and silly cute face looking at me. Love never dies. We hold onto the memories and I'm thankful for his love apart of my life. Nothing is more painful saying goodbye.
Thank you for this episode. I lost my wife to breast cancer a year ago. There isn’t many resources or outreach for young widowers like myself (especially during Covid). I’m still coping with everything and any and all information to help me feel like I’m not a crazy person is very welcomed. My grief has ruined my career path, my passions, and my interest in life. The only thing I found that helps is regular exercise and running. I miss my wife desperately and I know that void she left when she passed will never be healed. Restarting my life at 35 really really sucks. Thank you for this episode! I’m sure you realize how needed this information truly is and I appreciate you and your colleagues insight into this difficult process.
Shamy Shakes - 💜 SO very sorry for the loss of your wife so early in your young life.💔 You will find your way and become whole again...wishing for you that healed state of being sooner rather than later. 💖
I've found it so helpful to be able to tell my stories about my mother, over and over somtimes, with people who knew her. Talking about her helped me grow a new relationship with her. I wish you all the support you need.
I had a beloved cat who died, he was the absolute baby of the family and greatly missed, I dreamt he was walking through fields of green grass and that he was a happy cat, - don't laugh, I never mentioned it to anyone because I thought is was obsurd, about 3 months later out the blue my husband mentioned to me he had a dream that Archie out cat was walking through a field of green grass enjoying life. (Make what you will of that story)
My Girl Rhodesian Ridgeback was my best friend for 10+ years. She was poisoned to death in November. Love for my loss and Hatred for her killers , in the CCP Barack's next door. So tell me oh wise one
Grief is so hard. My husband & I attended a weekly grief-support group for two years after the loss of our oldest child. Now, twenty years later, we lost our middle child last month just before the holidays. I feel some of the pain of the first loss is now inter-mingling with this recent loss. It seems I feel the loss of both of them now. Grief is emotional, mental and very physical and it is possible to adjust, but it takes time. Be patient with yourself. A treasure is not forgotten.
I feel the same way. I lost my dog 3 months ago and now all my losses are intermingling and the unbelievable lost of my son 10 years ago. Compounded grief! Hugs ❤
Grief is the most painful kind of love. I worked in inpatient and outpatient Hospice facility. My greatest teacher were the brave and courageous people I cared for. The words of wisdom that they gifted me has helped me navigate my personal grief experience. We are all standing in line. Be kind
The hospice staff that took care of my father was amazing! Aa you help people have a good death you are also helping their families… thank you for caring for your patients. 🙏🏼❤️
Five years after losing the love of my life, I can smile at memories just as easily as I can break down in tears. The jagged edge has softened but it's sharp enough yet to make me bleed. Very apropos topic for this Memorial Day, Dr. Huberman. Thank you.
I face that edge almost everyday, didn't know i was not alone having this feeling ,it's been 8 years since i lost my mom . No amount of therapy/meds have gotten me any long term relief.
how are you doing now? its been one month for me and my partner of 15 years and I still wish I was dead. She might as well have died, this is the worst thing I've ever felt.@@michaelsilverfoote6272
Lost my beloved cat yesterday. She was beautiful until the very end even with cancer. On the last day she spent the morning with me, laying right beside and purring, though it was already hard for me, in the vet her eyes were full of tears, but she was really cooperative all the way, which isn't how she ever behaved in the vet, even the day before. I believe she understood the situation, accepted it and was very graceful. I wrote a letter to her, I will write to her from time to time, even though she is a cat, it makes me feel better, I suggest writing to anyone grieving. I will always love you and remember you, Margosha
I lost my girlfriend with 22 to cancer a few days ago...I think there is nothing harder for a young man than losing his the love of his life. We had six wonderful years and I am so so proud of her faith and will to the last second. I will read a lot about grief, talk to psychologists and work on myself to stay alive and reaching my dreams - that would be her wish...one day it's will be ok, maybe not today or tomorrow but I believe with her on my side everything is possible :)
lost my soulmate this monday. It aches terribly and i miss him so much that i can't put it into words. It is really difficult wanting to stay on this world, but he wouldn't want me to go after him yet. Hugs and love to everyone going through the same.
My heart to you all going through the loss of your loved ones. Some days it’s easy and some days you’re immobilized by the pain. Much love to everyone on this journey. ❤️
❤️🩹Thank you for your words as I’m going through a deeply personal rough patch of grief currently over my beloved adopted mom. During her passing anniversary even…. 😪💔😥
I thought I was coming through the loss of my mother in February. Then yesterday I went outside and saw that a bunch of the bulbs she gave me for presents were popping up to bloom for spring. And I just lost it. Crying and crying and barely able to breathe. I usually love to garden and care for the plants in my yard but this year, I’m afraid to go outside and look at them again. My mom loved gardening too. A million things remind me of her, even my own hands that look just like hers. This is ridiculously painful. I want to function again. She would want me to live to the fullest but without her to share things with, it’s hard to see the point in doing anything. Pathetic and hopefully passing soon, but that is how I feel right now. This sux so bad.
Just lost my mother too in feb 11, sudden and unexpectedly. We lived together. Everything in our home reminds me of her. She really loved gardening, cooking and a pet lover too. I love her more than anything. She was my everything. Now she's gone, I am alone and empty. I am not ready to live without her, but I have no choice. I need to learn to live alone independently, since my father passed away too 16 yrs ago. 💔💔💔😭😭😭
@@DawnSTyler going tgrough the same i absolutely adored my dad and it wasnt his time he was made ill by swapping of tablets then put in a ward with covid he beat that and sepsis then died of pneumonia i feel stiff with pain and know i will never be anywhere near over it. Lost is an understatement. Prayers to all who are suffering. God my only wish is that he is okay in paradise ,heaven somewhere beautiful and pls god we meet them again.😢
Well said, I do agree, & how sad as we will all leave this world one way or another. The work is so gravely needed so we can ALL accept and learn to grieve, and to understand it as Andrew so beautifully discusses. Thank you again, great work! 💞 .
@@cherieservello4891 I'm one of those 20% of Americans who fear death. The thought of death persist in some way in my mind all the time. Life is mysterious and awe-inspiring and never truly knowing what this whole universe is about and what lies ahead after death induces anxiety,.
Some get prepared young but some just not got the ability even though they no it's coming to prepare themselves coz either a bond is missing not broken
I just lost my dog. My buddy. I’ve never experienced grief over loss of a pet until now. I miss him so much 😭 As I work through my grief, I remind myself that my buddy wouldn’t want me to continue to be sad. That he’d want me to be happy. My dog was a Pomeranian named Peanut. When I’m having trouble with my grief I say to myself “What would Peanut want for me?” It seems to help me move through the emotion more easily.
1:11:25 I lost my bubbadog on April 12. We spent literally every moment together thru the lockdowns and his illness that had us on a round the clock schedule of meds etc. I literally have no recent memories of myself without him touching me I’m 70 yrs old, many pets before , but this loss is totally consuming. This podcast is profoundly helpful
I lost my cat yesterday, he was with me for 16 years. It will take time to heal, but I got this. He gave me many years of happiness which was so very much worth the pain I feel now.
This is so good. Since my mum died I've been having such a hard time because I can't "find her". I can't place her in time and space. You explain it so well thank you for giving voice to that. After someone had gone it is so weird because even though they were there 2 mins ago, now they aren't. All if reality has changed. You cannot time travel back to a reality when they were alive. Suddenly there is a huge gaping void in time and space where they should be. I'm 1hr 5 mins into this and I'm already incredibly grateful for everything I've learned. I will also love and miss my mum, she was an amazing human, but hopefully I will begin to heal as I learn how to place her now ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you again 🙏❤️
For me as a Christian, when my daughter died I did allow myself release of emotion, but refused to lapse into self-pity. There were many times I made a conscious decision to rejoice in what she gained (heaven, freedom from struggle and pain) rather than be sad for what we lost. Shifting my thoughts to gratefulness was a benefit, being thankful for the good times and memories, and it was helpful that we as a family found some ways to honor her memory by investing in those still living - we funded projects overseas and there was a college scholarship as well. I did have some trauma to work through just based on things I saw and experienced, especially since I was forced to make decisions alone, though her doctor did offer wise counsel for which I am grateful. Shoulda-coulda-woulda, shame or regret don’t help us to move forward - it’s important to have grace for ourselves and even forgiveness where needed, rather than live with regret.
Hey Donna, I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing. There’s a comforting thought recorded in Acts 24:15 And I have hope toward God, which hope these men also look forward to, that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous. Also John 5:28,28, Revelation 21:3, 4 and Psalms 37:29. I like that Jesus described death as sleep when going to awaken Lazarus. -John 11:11 This planet is without peace and sometimes we need a little rest…but the joy when your daughter wakes up to a peaceful paradise earth will be endless xxx
You are Blessed to Know her destination, we lost a daughter to covid in August of 21& not 2wks later our grandson died from an overdose bcuz her death was overwhelming, neither were in the faith,far from it..I'm SOOOO Sorry for your loss...
This is beautiful. I am always with my loved ones when they die if I am asleep at their time of death. I am actually on part of the journey with them. Its such a great honor and I KNOW we all go somewhere much better. I know it in my bones, my cells, and in my soul. Still sad to be here in the physical without the ones we love but great to know we will be together again one day. This has been something that has been happening for me since I was a child and I am now a grandmother. I am certain your daughter is smiling upon you! Much Love
I lost my dog last Fall. I cried so hard that day. The house feels so empty and quiet without him. For a few weeks I continued to go for walks alone and I could hear my own steps. I used to wonder why he was so happy when we walked. I realized that seeing him happy made me happy. I miss him so much.
I have just lost my most perfect, beautiful, loving14 year old son, Branson. It was sudden and I am absolutely shattered. My psychiatrist says the loss of a child is complicated grief. Losing a child feels a life sentence when you have done absolutely nothing wrong 💔 😔. Thank you so much for this video 🙏🏻. I am deeply grateful 🙏🏻💯
@kali542 many thanks to everyone who sent their condolences. I really appreciate every kind word 🙏🏻. It is soothing. I'm 20 months in now and the pain is still RAW!!! I'm learning to live alongside grief, but I will never be able to bear living without Branson. I am here. I am trying my very best everyday, but it is really, really difficult. Thank you for asking 🙏🏻❤️
I’m so sorry of loss of your son. The pain of losing a child is unbearable.I have just lost 4 months ago my 15 year old , my dear son Christopher by suicide😢 .The guilt and pain of loss are so deep and painful that it is difficult to put into words. No one will ever understand my pain, unless someone like you who loss their child at such a young age. And God forbid anyone should experience it. The suicide of your own child is the worst thing that can happen to the parents. It completely turn my life upside down . I lost the meaning of life and motivation for life. I often hear that I have another child - my daughter for whom I must live . Yes , it is true. But how one child can replace another? My heart feel like it's been torn apart and it's bleeds endlessly . 💔 ❣️😓
Thank you Andrew you’ve help me quit 15 year opiate addiction neuro science hypnotherapy Philosophy and Nad treatment or what saved me you helped me with neuroscience thank you and nad knowledge. Thanks you more then you know!
Congratulations on your sobriety. What an incredible and life enhancing accomplishment- and while I genuinely appreciate and feel gratified by your kind words, YOU did the work. Wishing you all the very best. -Andrew
@Heh MehUsually it is an energetic lesson you are suppose to learn and grow from. The mind keeps replaying the trauma loop until we learn the lesson. Also, our brain tends to remember love/experience by the absence of it instead of appreciating the experience. I am glad I got to see/be with this person. You are could actually go through the full process and adapt the character into yourself and become an advisor in your life/person. It works for people who passed. Learning from fictional characters happens all the time...we did it most of our childhood and we learned very well doing this. It is only when we become adults that this becomes "stupid." If you think of memory as false (not perfect and biased, which it is) you are doing it with "real" people as well. But what is the difference between a celebrity that we will never meet (and the image isn't the reality) and a fictional character? Billions of people do what you do. There is NO shame in it. Hope that helps.
Over one million subscribers. I will not be satisfied until I see 10 million subscribers. A sincere, humble and knowledgeable scientist who shares his knowledge with others. Andrew is number one in my book. It takes a great deal of effort to prepare podcasts based on facts and research. I hope Andrew feels the level of our deepest gratitude for his work.
I'm so sorry for your loss and what your going through... But your comment has really scared me as it's only been just over a year. People keep telling me it'll get better, but I'm hurting more now than I did a year ago.
@@imranp2010 it feels like it is getting worse for me too (4months) - i think there is a lot to be processed, a lot more sadness, pain and anger to express through tears. I bottle it up, put on my brave face and try to get through my days even though its like a huge weight on my shoulders. constant
After I watched my Dad die I went to my local library and checked out 8 books on grief. Not a word helped. Only grief therapy and time helped. It still comes in waves - 14 years later - especially when I see someone who looks like him out in public.
thats right - nothing, absolutley no words or advice help - its deeply personal - memories become flashbacks and you wonder will you ever get through this, or have I become a shadow of myself...
Hope you are doing ok . 🙏❤🙏. Try to find the strength and faith in that when you see someone who looks like your dad that is him sending a little sign to you letting you know he is ok and enjoying his new adventure as he watches over you continuing yours.
I lost my brother and my dad within three months of each other this year. I have to make major decisions regarding my children's education. I'm unemployed and a single mom. This is one of the darker time of my life especially as a recovering heroine addict. Still learning coping skills. Thank you for your wisdom
I pray for everyone in the grief state, and for you to succeed in your recovery from addiction, find peace and strength, and reach your goals for yourself and your family Amen🙏 stay strong and ask God for his help.
The loss of a child has no healing.. I can barely breathe, and it has been 8 years! Her memories are painful. They are a reminder of all the love we had for each other! My complicated grief is here to stay for the rest of my life.
I really feel for you... ❤ I've wondered this. My nephew was murdered by some random guy 7 months ago. My brother and sister inlaw are mortified. It's really difficult to know how to respond to their grief.
l’m so so sorry. I have no kids and have only lost pets. When l lose them l feel so sorry for people who have lost children. I can’t even imagine how much that would hurt. As far as my last dog goes, who died two months ago, she was such a good “person “ if you know what l mean. ln her memory, l am trying to be as good of a being as she was. All on her own when l moved from the country to the city, she became very good around scared, reactive dogs. People would say “My dog is really not friendly “. But in many cases I would let her approach them anyway. She would stand still and let them smell and touch her with their nose. Then she would slowly and carefully nudge them back. I had many many people say to me “That is so amazing, l’ve never seen my dog so calm around another dog”. I was so happy that she could help another dog have a positive interaction. But it wasn’t anything l did, and she had no special training. It was just who she was. l’m so so sorry for your loss.❤❤❤❤❤
So sorry for everyone's loss here in the comment section. It's the bitter part to the bitter sweetness of life. May they rest in Peace and you find less suffering
Very wise …very poignant Very true …Very simple Life is a miracle and Life is also a tragedy 🎭 No getting around it at all. It is what it is. It’s also a mystery and a dream.
Oof this one is much needed. Lost my father recently, and it is ao strange. That out of no where, I can get immense pain and heartache. It feels like the taste of salt is gone from everything, just emptiness.
I've been struggling with complicated grief, for the past 3 1/2 years. I'm grieving the loss of a younger sibling, through death and grieving the loss of my oldest child, to Bipolar Disorder. This video has been the beginning of my therapy. I don't have health insurance, so I want to say thank you for offering something very valuable, for free.
I'm so sorry for your losses, my deepest sympathies. If you are looking for affordable counselling, contact a university near you that has a Psychology program. They often have Masters students who are looking for practical experience by helping those in need -- and they often have a sliding scale of prices. I know in my city, low-income people have been able to access needed counselling for as low as $20-$30 an hour. Wishing you all the best.
You look absolutely beautiful in the way your are, don't be afraid, you're not alone. You have survived many hardships in your life. That makes you amazing...
I’m grieving my mother right now and it is so painful but I have to say that the loss of my dog Mia last year was almost as bad and actually worse than when my father died. I loved that dog so much and I miss her to this day- my sweetest baby girl.
Thank you very much for this episode. And an even bigger thank you for talking about people, animals and objects. I listened to this episode right after I had to put my cat down after 16 years. Learning about grief in this way and the three components of space, time and attachment helps me understand and navigate grief better.
Just the title brings tears to my eyes.. I've navigated many life experiences that have caused me to know grief deeply... beginning even prior to the loss of my brother in 2015.. Since then, I've lost friends, family.. suicide, accidents, addiction.. I've spent my entire adult life healing and being supportive to others who are healing from these experiences of abuse and trauma, as well. I've been in a deep process for the last few years allowing myself to heal in ways I have not before. Dr. Huberman, Dr. Amen, Dr. Caroline Leaf, and Dr. Snipes have all been my "go to's" for information and resources to navigate these waters. Thank you for your work, Dr. Huberman! It's very impactful in a positive way!
" .... there is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes". -Milan Kundera I lost my Ma when I was 7, a brother to suicide when I was 19 and at age 46 I'm dying of necrotising vasculitis. I have CPTSD as a result and I shall bear my cross with faith and am navigating grief by painting, seeing my psychiatrist and I feel 100% confident that I have no regret to speak of and shall pass over knowing I loved and am loved, and have made amends and commit no sin. GOD bless all and may all rest in peace. This too shall pass as they say.
When you read the letter of the grieving husband for his lost wife, I actually sobbed. You totally captured the felt grief. And I know how hard this was for you to discuss after loosing Costello. Hope you have healed.
As a grieving mother my self. I can say more research needs to be done in grieving parents. I appreciate your research and time you put in to this subject. Personally I do not like being told to move on. I carry my grief with me. As he is my son and I carried him in my womb i birthed him I raised him. His death is out of order. I’ll carry him with me my whole life and continue to love him for the rest of mine life. My heart goes out to everyone grieving.
I Lost my Dad suddenly 5 months after my 3 child was born. I was suffering from postpartum as I did with all my kids but after the phone call that my Dad was gone, I disassociated for years…it was just to much😕 My dad lived in Hawaii, my bros & I live in Canada, we couldn’t afford to go their. We had to get our Dad cremated & flown to us, even though my Dad wanted his ashes in the ocean. We’re hoping to finally be able to put our Dads ashes in the Oregon ocean this summer. I feel like this will be huge for my bros & I to finally have a memorial/funeral bc it doesn’t feel like he’s dead just living in Hawaii since 2016. My bros & I hurt so bad not having the funds to do this sooner for our father. This has affected all our lives in horrible ways, my one bro is now a functioning alcoholic & my other bro is addicted to opiates, I suffer from severe anxiety & depression…We hurt so bad💔 I don’t think we’ll ever be the same & we don’t know how to process this grief bc it’s so painful. Our dad was so fun & full of life but then just gone…I have constant flashbacks of times with my dad good or bad. The intensity of our grief is equal to our LOVE for our father but hasn’t gotten much better after almost 10 years. We’re all just praying that finally get our father back to the ocean he’ll be able to RIP & hopefully we can live on with some kinda peace❤️🩹 Much LOVE to all who are grieving🫶🏼❤️🫶🏼
@@1blestmomamoe472 hi there,first let me send U& you brothers condolences 💐 for your loss, I just read your message, u R so right! U never get over the loss of a loved 1 u just move along like a snail in life trying to heal you’re wounds;let me tell you having your brothers is key,(having each other) if u guys can talk this is even better 🙏prayer, I know it’s cliché, but it is the only thing that helped me( no alcohol, no amount of drugs) will help,only the lord will! I know I’ve been HERE! ✌️🦋💕
Iam a Psychotherapist in practice for over 20 years in practice, but when I lost my beloved husband to a cardiac arrest, my world collapsed on me, and I could not even treat myself! This experience since then felt like life has ended! It's coming to 5 years now but it feels like yesterday! Grief is for real and reality is its the love and attachment, love that we hv for our loved ones! Just to be sincere after the funeral, I was clinically diagnosed with a heart condition which direct relates to the cause of my soulmate despite the fact that, I was very normal before he passed! Prof Huberman is a star and I hv found listening to his podcasts very beneficial in dealing with my grief! NO any other Dr can explain this process better than him! I Salute you Prof Huberman! Thank you!!! WE NEED MORE OF THIS! THE WORLD IS GRIEVING!😭😭😭
This talk was my introduction to Andrew Huberman. After 28 years of marriage I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my Lover. This loss has left an enormous hole in our family and in my heart. Since 2018 my family has been decimated by multiple deaths - my Daddy, all three of my siblings, & my husband. The grief of my husband has tested my mettle, for sure. My deepest condolences as you continue to grieve your great loss.
I am very very sorry for your lost. I relate so much to this, I lost my husband two weeks ago due to alcoholism and the guilt and grief are killing me, I also feel my heart beating differently I don’t know if I will make it alive because the pain and suffering are just too much.
I"m still coping with the loss of my father after more than ten years, grieving is what happens as we adapt to the fact that our loved one is gone and we constantly carry the absence of them with us on our journey
I lost mine 2 months ago , I cry everyday I cannot stop , today I couldn’t stop crying and after I stoped I checked my RUclips and dr Andrew posted this . On another note this guy changed my life to better
Sorry for both of your losses. I lost my grandma 4 years ago. I cared for her until she passed. I can’t even access the emotion, it’s too painful to access
I lost my father exactly 4 years ago like time didn't pass. Everything I create and do, he is in my mind consciously and subconsciously., sometimes I have a feeling he is still here just not physically present.
Thank you for validating those of us who are deeply grieving the loss of an animal as the same intense grief of those who grieve a human. I’ve lost both and the grief of losing a beloved animal is just as intense and difficult for me as it was to lose my human loved one. I truly appreciate your acknowledgement of all types of grief. Thank you.
Thank you for including pets during your explanation. I lost my emotional support kitty. She was like a child to me and her death was traumatic and unexpected. The grief has been unbearable and I have trouble releasing that images. The grief is also bringing me back to the death of my mum. I was alone during both experiences which also makes the grief feel more intense.
Someday my 9 year old kitty will pass…I’ve been a widow for 5 years, my children are grown and living their lives far away, she is my daily source of comfort and love all day and night…when she goes I will be helpless…my home will be empty…but I don’t want her uncomfortable as she ages….❤
I am sorry for your loss, i hope that you feel a bit better after a few months and were able to find your peace. I lost my 16 year old chihuahua yesterday, she died in my arms and I am absolutely destroyed.
Thank you. Ive been working from home a lot the last years and my beloved cat (Daisy Azalea Watson) was there all the time. So close. Almost always very close to me, physically, or I would go to her and cuddle with and kiss her on the head. And after her sudden death last week (only 3 years old) I am in shock and grieving. And I think I see her all the time everywhere in the apartment. And I dont seem to be able to fully understand she's gone. 😔 It's like a shock over and over.. 😢 She was such a love bug! I've never met a cat loving so hard and strong. She used to clean me, as if I was a kitten, and sometimes look up at me and gaze up at me with SO much love I always felt to knocked down emotionally. It was such a strange and mind blowing experience.. so I miss her SO terribly much! (She turned out to have spread cancer..😢). I think the fact I was physically close so much more than any human have ever been is what made this really, really hard. My brain expect her to be there everywhere in my home. So thank you. I needed this.
I lost my mom unexpectedly 2 days before this was released. Honestly couldn’t have been better timing. I miss her so much. She will forever be a part of my heart. The pain comes in waves. Some days I cry. Some days I barely cry, and I feel guilty for laughing or being happy. It’s hard to sleep some nights. I wish I could have spent one more day with her. I wish I would have known. But that’s life. Thank you this podcast, it has helped me in more ways than you will ever know.
I lost my mom about 5 months ago, and I miss her like crazy. She passed away a month shy of her 49th birthday (I am 28), it was somewhat suddenly. I have days when I am super emotional, I cry a little, but am yet to gave those big, ugly cries that supposedly help (the one I had with my grandpa 10 years earlier). Other days I even laugh, but mostly, I function. I go to work, pay the bills (my step dad and I live together, and are also trying to establish a better one-on-one relationship between us now after the loss). I feel pain and guilt, as well as helplessness, because I am not sure how to help everyone, who loved her. Can you please share how you're coping now?
Of all comments written, this is the one that made me cry the most. I lost my mother too. I worshiped her and still do. On fathers day, I bought her gifts because she was both my mother and father having raised me as a single mom. She was a surgeon, so I loved her and respected her so much. and not to say, to me she was the most beautiful human being in the entire universe. I wish I knew how much I would miss her before her death. I would have never left her side. God it hurts so much.
@@sasaninfo1 that’s beautiful. I’m sure your mom is by your side in spirit. I can sense mine at times. Sometimes I find her in my dreams. Sending you a warm hug!
I can’t explain how monumental watching this video was for me. I just got cheated on after a 2 year relationship I thought I’d never get over it and I would always be waiting for her. This has genuinely switched something in my mind which I feel has changed my life. Thank you Andre, you are literally a life saver
My husband died of terminal cancer 6 months ago (43) there are so many losses rolled up into that one (loss of my best friend, my kids dad, my teammate, income, etc) then my little kitten drowned in our pond last weekend. That devastated me just as hard as my husband dying. Grief is deep love but knocks you off your axis. I definitely have a tilt now and struggle daily to get back to balance
I appreciate your inclusion of animals, which is not always represented in grief discussions. While I have lost family members, the loss of a pet was surprisingly devastating for me and there isn’t always understanding for the depth of loss our pet companions can be. Speaking of, you did not cover cumulative grief- losses at the same time or in rapid succession.
This may sound odd, but I have been listening to this podcast numerous times in order to understand how to "grieve" for someone who is still alive. My condolences to all who have lost a loved one.
Last Tuesday I found out that my friend, Logan, who had I had been there for me though hard times and had always been kind to me had been murdered. I had called him a few times and not heard back, thought maybe he was going through something or ghosting me for whatever reason people sometimes so. I needed support and thought of him again so I reached out. It felt off that he still didn't answer so I thought to Google him just to make sure, I found out he had been shot and killed by his roomate and friend who he had introduced to me as his brother several months ago, in the home they shared 5 minutes down the road from me. the same place I had spend time with them both in within the months before my friend was killed there. I'm so sad and have really struggled to meld these realities together over the last week. I am extremely grateful to have Dr. Hubermans as a resource through this time, I emensley appreciate the perspective so Thank you
I lost my lovely husband 6 months ago, my Dad a year ago and my Mum 2.5 years ago. It has been relentless and I am resonating with this podcast - I just don’t know what to do next. Thank you for this, it is timely for me ❤️
I have experienced the death of My mom, dad and two brothers over a 5 year span. There are days when I feel very sad. I share my feelings with family or friends. I am finally getting to acceptance, having better days. There is no time limit to grief, each of us heal in our own time. My prayers for your peace and good memories of your love ones. 💖🙏🏼💖
I feel you. I lost my dad, my uncle, and father in law 2 years ago, and my mom 2 weeks ago. It feels like you can't come up for air before another person is taken. It's devastating and disorienting. I hope you have loving people around you helping you cope.
@@erheaflower4318 sending huge warmth your way, it is such a traumatic time, at the same time it cracks you open to such a degree that you feel you're at oneness with God, or Source, the Realm, whatever you want to call it. I hope you're okay, I feel for your loss of your Mom and send gentle virtual support
@ E Rhea Flower I’m sorry for all your loss. May her beautiful memories overshadow any that bring you sadness. Think of her talking to you or you talk to her everyday and asks for signs. Mom can you show me a sign like a 🦋maybe a bird. If you see something and you were thinking of her she was there leaving a sign. It can be so subtle. The butterfly you might see on TV or a magazine or a real butterfly. Whatever you ask for just keep an open mind. She isn’t gone she is in her spiritual body. God bless you and try to honor her on the holidays instead of being sad. Much love sent your way, it is very hard to lose a mother no matter what age. 💜
Thank you! My significant other passed last night, I opened youtube for calming music, this episode came out first! God Bless your calling, helping and sharing your knowledge and expertise via youtube! Thank You!
Grief transforms, the longer one grieves comes from Trauma that’s unresolved, our creator created the body to heal even after deep loss ❤ loving deep leads to living an honored life, waking up to the fragility of life’s cycle, this is an amazing awareness video on healing our bodies to heal grief
The experience of visiting gravesites of loved ones never made sense to me personally, but in your explanation of grief in the context of space, time and attachment I now understand why it matters so much to some people.
Such a helpful episode. Thank for your service to the public. This month, I lost my 15-1/2 year old best dog ever. Although expected, I embodied deep grief. Intuitively, I followed much of what you have scientifically explained, and went from a hazy feeling of numb shock to gratitude for my time with such a beautiful little animal soul. I had friend support, we buried him together, had music, flowers, ritual. I meditated, got more sleep, exercised, walked, cried fully as it came up, ate well, practiced deep breathing, and got sunlight. These practices allowed for a gentle, loving sense of closure, and a deep appreciation for the fullness of life.
I experienced mind numbing grief when my son went through addiction and the loss of stages of a “normal” life, such as silly things like proms, graduation, college etc. Sometimes grief can be from a loss of a vision, or the expectations you assumed for your children and to watch them change before your eyes, feeling frustrated that nothing you do helps them. I wish I had had this information then. I got “stuck,” just as you say. I dwelled on episodic memories of what he was and was missing. You are so right. These memories do not serve as well and creates more grief that takes longer to overcome. It absolutely led nowhere. My youngest son introduced me to these podcasts. I’m so grateful. Thank you for giving of yourself. I live in a small town and the mental health help here is awful. Your podcasts are literally life saving for 1000s of us.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My mum died recently, but she was very old, but this vid. has helped a bit. I miss her so much. But if one of my daughters died, I wouldn't know how to come to terms with it.
@@candicebowden4123 thank you. My mom passed in August at 94 and I was so happy she lived all the years. This is so different and I appreciate your thoughts very much.
grief and trauma I know well. Watched the closest person pass away five feet from me on a trail when a dead wood tree hit her. Extensive head trauma and passed immediately. I was sure that the pain would consume me but the right trauma specialist got to me the second day after and we set up a structured day everyday to get me thru this. One tiny step at a time brought me back and now its 11 months later. I am still triggered in certain things but I have gone back to the woods and am experiencing adventures once again. For me it was my belief in God, therapy, a routine every morning that included Wim Hof , prayer and meditation. Friends and family were supportive. I will never understand that horror of what happened on that trail that day but I have found ways to live thru this and move forward in a healthier way than even before this whole thing happened. Time helps and I was looking for anyway I get through as the pain was beyond anything I could even describe Sheila
Thank you Andrew for this podcast. My wife passed away from breast cancer 21 months ago and I never stop thinking about her. This podcast has helped me to understand greef so much more and what I was and still am going through.
I have listened to this in little chunks as my husband took his life last week. There have been tools provided here that I have been able use, especially around a healthy uncoupling of my understanding of his place in time and space. Keeping this firmly in mind while writing to him, has helped. I am struggling with guilt a lot but I am quite a strong person and I've read that this guilt is inverted anger. I've had some very odd phenomenon take place over the week that I wish I could understand better. This information has been immeasurable in terms of moving forward. I am just now watching the last 15 minutes now and have found that I have been using this relational grieving tool to push though. As always, thank you.
@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb Hi, sorry I've just seen your comment, I don't comment often on RUclips so never thought to check back until now. I am from the UK. I have done a lot of healing in the past 14 weeks. I have come to a place of peace. I'm still sad but no longer feeling that guilt I mentioned previously. There's something still profound to me going on that feels like a continued communication from him. Which initially was a bit troubling but now I just see it as comforting, when I listen to whatever message he's giving me, my life just seems to get better, it's weird. Did/do you experience that?
@@mariag-nq8zl I've experience this with the loss of my mother, father...I believe that they are with us on a higher plane of conciousness. My belief in God and the love I feel from him affirm this. Continue to listen to the soft voice of the loved ones you've lost and seek the Lord. I hope you are well and contiue to get better.
My partner died just 5 days before Christmas 2022. I am going through very intense grief right now. "Phantom limb" is a perfect analogy for me at the moment. Also, the yearning for close proximity with him is very, very real. So, tears on daily basis are inevitable. To cheer myself up, I started grief journaling where I write imaginary conversations with him and fill in the blanks with comments or answers he would typically respond to in that situation. I read books on the topic from writers who talk about their personal experiences of grief and I can relate to that. I find it easier to process my emotions this way. The strange thing is that I can talk to my friends about grief, but not to some members of my family.
I lost my dad in September 2021 to Lewy body dementia. I watched him suffer for a few years leading up to his death. It’s a roller coaster sometimes I’m in acceptance and I’m okay and then there’s days like today where I feel like I’m never going to stop crying and I’ll never be okay. I miss him a lot and the dreams I have of him are the worst. I was only 23 when he died and he was only 57 it shouldn’t have been like this.
This podcast, as opposed to other ones, was delivered with some intense emotion (at least that's how I perceived it). It felt very heart-felt, almost more poetic than scientific. Thoroughly educational, relevant, and enjoyable, as always!
A caring heart behind a scientist , you really care for people and want them to be in a better place at least by utilizing free tools like sunlight ,exercises and these perfect talks .Thanks for being a guide, mentor ,friend and good human being. Love and respect.
I wrote letters to my mom every day in my diary for over a year after she died. Then one day without thinking or force I started writing normally again. Still miss her almost six years later. p.s. That letter to his deceased wife made me CRY.
Thank you Andrew, this has helped. I just lost my fur-child, my constant companion, emotional support and exercise buddy. Thank you for the importance of including animals in this discussion. They’re just as important, if not more important in some cases, than our human losses. 💕
My aunt whom I saw as a second mom just passed away yesterday, this could not have come up in a better time. I will be using the knowledge you shared in this episode to help my mom cope with her grief. Thank you sincerely. 🙏
Thank you for describing how sitting in our emotional, and physical sense, of attachment to our loved one, without guilt trying to change our loss, gives our brain time to create a new map to their location and the time it takes to form new relationship with them. So beautifully explained with the hope this mechanism is built in us, and can get us through. You present with such kindness and integrity. Thank you. You're a wonderful teacher.
Wow this has explained so much about my own grief process after my daughter died in a freak accident 22 years ago and how I have always felt the path I took with Yoga and Meditation was like a detraum program over many years and more valuable than talk therapy. I got so much from the understanding of the 3 Dimensions and how I was totally COUPLED to episodic implicit memories and unable to remap for a very long time. The mindfulness, body mind connection and present moment practices that I live have now a deeper meaning for me and so valuable for the grieving process. I never went to University but have basically immersed my self into researching and understanding grief and trauma. Thanks to you Dr Huberman and other teachings along the way, I have managed to study my own life and learn so much to be able to have a meaningful and engaging life, as well as help others. Very Appreciative.
I lost my dear dear mother at 79 after a brief illness.. It hit me at month 5 and I stumbled across this video which had a profound effect on me, causing me to return on to the UK from Mexico (time and space alteration). A month on from that I have been through extreme pain in my home city, but seems to be better on the other side.
FYI in a little over a month it will be 5 years since my mother passed (at age 79), and I am finally feeling like I can get back to self care. I never would have guessed that the death of an elderly parent could hit so hard.
Today, two years after this magnificent post, I am watching it, trying to help a friend in grief. I have been away from my family for over 32 years, and unfortunately, my loved ones, including my mom and dad, have passed. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to them. After my mom passed, I was devastated, and I had nowhere and no one to go. One night, she came to my dream, healthy and happy. I told her,” Mom, you are alive; I was told that you are dead. She smiled at me and replied, I’m not dead. I’m with you and see you all the time; you can't see me, but you can talk to me anytime you want”.
Thank you so much @Andrew Huberman I’ve lost two brothers this month. It has been the most difficult of my life. Brought me to tears seeing this episode released by my favorite podcast.
Recently widowed and so grateful to have found this. I was so afraid I was losing my sanity searching for and speaking to my beloved...God bless you!!!!!
I am a 47 year old man. I have no kids and am single. I cared for my dad for 10 years until he died of end-stage Parkinson's. Now, my mom is in hospice, I cared for her for the past 15 years. I am my mom's full time care caver. I did everything with her.
I also took care of my mom for 5 1/2 years and she passed 2 months ago. It is so sad , and we wish our moms could always be with us! That is wonderful that you cared for your mom and love her deeply. I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you as you grieve. Let the tears flow when they come. How blessed she was to have a son who loves his mom.
Dr. Huberman your podcast, your way of aproaching every matter through scientific data, as well your ability to communicate those comlpex concepts in such a conceivable way to most people is something priceless. We are extremely thankful to you and your efforts because they are setting a very practical frame for healthier individuals and a better world. thank you.
Needed this, I've been grieving for 3 years now. In 2020 my wife and i lost our new born baby boy 2 days after his arrival and 5 months later my Dad left too. Haven't been easy.
My husband died in February of 2020. When you read aloud the letter from Feynman to his wife Arlene, I cried like a baby. That is EXACTLY how I feel! He was the love of my life and I can't imagine not continuing to love him. But, in thinking about the uncoupling of the attachment from the memory catalog process, my first thought was, that's what looking for "signs" is about. I think I'm actually doing the work without realizing it. For instance, when my refrigerator broke down and all the food went bad, I looked up and said, "It sucks that you're not here to help me with crap like this!" Or when people tell me I'm "still so young," I talk to him about how I feel about it and ask if he could somehow tell them to shut up and worry about themselves. I know he's gone, so I engage with him in real-time with the understanding that he isn't going to answer me. Thank you for letting me know I'm normal.
Grief is actually very healthy and normal. It would be more concerning if you didn't expérience it. Life and death sometimes walk hand in hand with mother nature in between. Good Luck out there.
I had a close friend who, despite her talent for making everything in her presence brighter, took her own life. I learned a really important lesson from her passing. It's not always easy depending on the circumstances but the lesson is... don't let good memories be painful. Remembering times her and I shared had always filled me with joy when she was alive. I always had a bad habit of dwelling on loss and obsessing over what ifs and should haves.... I never got to thank her.. Perhaps I should write her a letter.
This was just englithening. PLEASE do one on guilt and shame, it would be just too useful to have the basis of daily suffering covered by science supported tools so we can manage our way through life more effortlesly. Thank you for your work, Dr. Huberman.
I have been obsessed with repairing my grief brain. I lost my son Aug 26,2020. I was in such a fog, I couldn’t remember anything, I didn’t want to eat, cook… I would lose it over anything and just sob. I finally read that it was like a brain injury. I have been fasting, taking MCT &BHB in my coffee every day. Dave Asprey and David Sinclair have helped so much! It working…. Thank you for addressing this topic!
There's times where the grief is so intense, that pain is so painful, it's actually indescribable, you can't actually put it into words. People who've never been though what you've been through will never understand...
Yes my 2 year old daughter died 5 months ago due to an illness and watching her suffer before she died was almost inhumane. I’ll never be the same but I will always strive to integrate my grief so I can be a good mom to my other children and husband. There just is nothing compared to losing your own offspring. Breathing truly does help for me however creating a 15 min video narrative of my daughters life from start to finish and sharing it in a close group to grief with and publically, has been very therapeutic for me
I lost my father last month and was experiencing the most intense grief of my life. Few days ago this video popped up on my screen though I wasn't even aware about the existence of this channel. It is helping me immensely to process through my grief. Thank you for making this video. Regards
This was such an amazing episode. I got absolutely crushed two years ago when my cat I was extremely close with had to be put down due to some a strange illness he got out of nowhere. I had experienced losing my mom and sister at a young age before which definitely shifted my world view and fundamentally changed me as a person but I think being so young when it happened helped my brain eventually move on from the grief at that time. But the loss of my best friend two years ago brought me to depths that I didn't know I could experience. Made it even harder to talk to people outside of my wife and few others about it because a lot of people unfortunately seem to value the life of a 4 legged companion as something "less" than that of a human relationship. Getting my diet in order and doing rigorous physical exercise has been the best thing to help bring clarity and a sense of genuine happiness again in life. Thank you for this episode and all that you do man.
Very sorry for the loss of your beloved cat. Deep human relationships with pets/animals/nature is so often discounted both by many religions, cultures, and science - a profound anthropocentrism. Honestly, as someone who has had many pets and spends a lot of time in nature, it can be a lot easier to have a profound connection with them than many fellow humans. We also have pets physically close to us and also spend a lot of time with them compared to even extended family or friends. This episode's explanation of time, space, and connection really helps explain it. No shame in that. May you find happiness and joy in both the memories of your cat and perhaps when you are ready, in new relationships. Sounds like your healthy habits could help.
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, the hollows of your chest. Grief is just love, with no place to go.” ~Jamie Anderson
🥰🥰🥰🥰perfectly put into words.
Thaaank you for sharing. 😌🥰
I’m trying to understand ❤
This is beautiful ❤️
Before you hear the punsh line of a joke, the brain tried to make predictions and let's say you made 4 predictions and then one was right, the other 3 predictions has to go somewhere, the energy has to convert, so it converts to laughter. I see this quote is similar but instead - all the possible love that you could've given - is then converted into grief. I wonder what differentiates the two states.
Hello everyone, I love you all. This year June I married the greatest woman in the world, and yesterday was the end of our honeymoon. Yesterday, she hit a bus stop sign that was on the bicycle track with her bicycle, and today her brain died. She was an organ donor, so she saved six people's lives around the world. I'm very proud of her, but at the same time, I'm in unbelievable pain. I know that nothing will help with the pain except knowing that she is a hero. Please honor her with a one-minute silence. Her name was Gerda.
My heart and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. Incredibly selfless and kind. Stay strong my friend. Your wife was and will always be an amazing woman. I'm keeping her in my thoughts.
i love you im sorry
So sorry hun .. I know what you’re going through 😢
😢
I lost both my parents in the earthquake in Turkey. It's been a month. however, it is not getting easier. The things we could not do together, the words that were not uttered, and the loss of so much potential and opportunity are endless. They are haunting me every day. I am able to sleep, and function mostly at work but I am bleeding inside.
I pray for you
I am so very sorry for your tragic loss! 😢
Me too❤
I am sorry for your loss
So sorry 😢, take one day after the other 😮, just keep on breathing and going.
One day, in the far future you will feel better. It will take a lot of time and nothing will be as it was. That s life 😢
Thank you for acknowledging pets. I lost my beloved girl last week after 14.5yrs and the pain and grief is almighty. The absence is surreal, I don't know who I am without her.
Yes, me too. Mine went to heaven this January. She had special needs so my life revolved around her, happily. I loved her so intensely. So who am l now?
@C.Hawkshaw I'm so sorry you're also going through this debilitating grief. It doesn't get any easier does it..
I understand. The pets are members of our families. My dogs have kept me going after losing my hubs of nearly 42 years. Sending you love, peace and healing. 😌
Same a few days ago we lost a 14 year old, I pray the intensity is dissipating some for you, feeling like the hearts wrenched out here
👋❤.
@mark-cherylfeinberg271 I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, that's an entire lifetime. You must have shared, and will forever, a very strong and special love 😔
I'm glad your pups are with you now to support you through your grief.
Sending all the love and healing your way too 🤍
You never get over grief you just get better at living with it.
I would suggest that you never get over the loss however the 'grief' itself does subside and morph.⛅⛈⛅⛅
This really hit me!
I feel like I’ve been grieving the loss if our habitat. Which is very hard to get better at living with, as the likelihood of my kids dying from some climate disaster or catastrophe, climbs each year. The insects and animals are disappearing at alarming rates.
I’m just trying to get through the grief so I can help my kids to prepare for a very different future.
@@chrismullin8304Environmental Grief. I feel it every time I kayak in Alaska.
cliche
You have survived many hardships in your life. That makes you amazing...
I lost the woman I wanted to spend my life with in March and I have been struggling to find meaning in my own life ever since... I miss her so much.. the grief hurts so bad it drops me to my knees at times.. I've dealt with loss many times in my life with several family members, grandparents, and my father but the grief isnt the same feeling as losing someone who was your other half and your best and only friend and someone you sacrificed for and gave your whole heart too... she had a son too who I helped raise from the time he was 2 until he was 6 and I treated him like he was my own and spent time with him everyday and now I never see him.. I lost my whole family in one swoop... I stupidly thought that holding my girls hand in the hospital as she was pulled off life support and as she passed from this life to the next was rock bottom and it couldn't get any worse than that... little did I know that it wasnt.. I haven't hit rock bottom yet but I now know that what comes after the loss is much worse.. the coming home to an empty home, the lack of response when you say I love you out loud to yourself, the longing for their voice their touch their smile looking back at you their warmth their embrace their kiss, the silent car rides doing all the basic tasks you used to do together, the waking to an empty home that was once shared, the closing off the room they spent the most time in because you can't bare to be in their because it's too painful and you keep picturing them there, the inability to sleep in your bed because you shared it with them and now you sleep on the couch because the bed is no longer comfortable without them, the change in routine for your day because you no longer have the same responsibilities as you used to have, the waiting for your phone to light up with a message from them, passing by all the favorite places the 2 of us always went too and all her favorite places she loved to shop, all the unfulfilled plans and promises of things you always wanted to do with them or do for them that can never be fulfilled, all the things you pass by and say I bet thet would love this and the "want" to tell them about it or surprise them with it and the sudden realization that you cant, and the million other minor details that are now missing in your life after the loss of your other half are all worse than the initial loss.... nothing can ever fill that place... and it never will... can you die from heartbreak? I only hope I'm close behind so I can see her again I truly miss her...
I'm crying for you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!❤️
I understand..I had a loss similar to the loss you described in your comment...there is no way around it; it can drop you to your knees in pain and sorrow. My faith in the Creator is the only thing I am holding onto. Be well.
you spoke the words perfectly. I just lost my mom and I didn't cry at the hospital. It was very sudden, I saw her the day before and she looked fine. I guess I was shocked. But now afterwards, daily life is where the loss happens, and I resonate with your words. I'm so very sorry for your loss. There are no words to console. It's hard to make sense of things, find purpose, hope, or faith moving forward. I hope for the creator to bring you comfort and show you how beautiful and expansive she is as a free soul. I'm waiting for this to have a purpose in my life
I inherited my soulmates home I moved into eighteen years ago. I sleep on the couch also and my heart will hurt always
till I see him again. Everything you wrote I thought about. Just to let you know I saw him four days after he passed in the living room. We all meet again. Our work here on earth has not ended yet.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Really there are no words. Know that you are not alone, and it will change with time. The pain will lessen in time. One thing....you mention her young son. I don't know what the reason is that you are not seeing him now, but if at all possible, for his sake and for your own, you being able to support each other through this loss could be immensely healing... Bless you, and all who loved her.💔❤🩹
Unprocessed grief is not just about a death of a person or pet. Grief goes much deeper,. For instance the disappointment of life, the death of a dream, aging, unmet expectations, a traumatic childhood or event, losing a body part, becoming disabled, going though a pandemic, the list goes on and on.
💯
a change we didn't' like, sometimes a change we know is necessary, just change itself...
Very true
❤😢👍💯 AGREE
Totally agree.
I lost my husband going on 6 years ago. He passed away on May 28th, 2018. I came home and he had passed away of a heart attack. I didn’t get to say goodbye. We were married 41 years and loved each other very much. I was devastated the first 8 months. I cried every day. The lost of my best friend, protector, provider, strong arms to hold me, my love. When we were first married I use to say the poem to him or give it in a card How do I love thee let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day’s most quiet need by sun and candlelight. I love thee freely as men strive for right. I love thee purely as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints. I love thee with the breath smiles, tears, of all my life; and if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. It’s almost 6 years we never slept apart and I have had trouble sleeping since his side of the bed is empty. Last month I lost our puppy we had for 17 years. She slept at the foot of our bed. She is with her daddy now in heaven and I know one day I will be there with them so I have that hope. Everyday I tell them good morning and talk of them through the day. Grief morphs into a dull sadness a longing a yearning that never goes away. But I am better. ❤😇✝️
God bless you. I will be thinking of you and keeping you in prayer ❤
I am so o sorry for your loss! I know exactly what U R going through, I use to wear his clothes just to feel him,& hopes of smelling his scent. Our dog also died shortly as you rs. I hated life, & I at times didn't want to live either,I lost all the Lord's faith. I may not be of much help, but hopefully you'll want to watch movies& get out,get a new pet to walk,made some church friends I know with time it will get better!stay +peace
You were lucky to have found him. Most people never do.
The comments in here. Wow! Such beautiful hearts. Makes me cry. Ooahh gentle Queens with the love of the whole world in your soul amen hallelujah! Hugs and love! Your deep love inspires me. That there will be a man one day who will allow me to love him this way and love me back the same…. Ooahh. ❤❤❤. Our love is beautiful-the way we love- can never be repeated amen
I feel you my dear. Same empty bed and empty chairs here. Bless you.
Thank you for including pets. I just lost my dog I had for 7 years and I am really going through it. It’s incredible the emotional bond we can develop towards our pets. It’s very much the loss of a loved one. 🥺
I miss my little Mojo 🐾 🤎
I understand well, I lost my Dakota who was 13+ years old and as a dog we were best buds and he was my soulmate. He got degenerative myelopathy and lost the use of his rear legs and had to let him go. I cry everyday and miss him so. RIP Dakota
Same I loss my dog denny I can't stop my tears
My neighbor lost her beloved pet a week after I lost my fiancé. I was so blown wide open I saw her grief was no less than my own and in our shared losses we became unlikely friends.
I’m sorry for all our losses and hope more of us become less isolated by it.
Me too I lost my 2 beautiful cats a few months ago. I'm so heartbroken. I still don't sleep very well and I don't have much of an appetite. My home and my life feels so empty without my fur babies😢 So sorry for everyone else's loss. 💔😥
I had to rehome my dog, and I still wish he would be with me. It's like a breakup.
I can’t believe that we have these amazing people with all this knowledge and they give it to us for free. Thank you
A free and open internet is really a cornerstone making this possible for these beautiful people. Just something to keep in mind when bureaucrats discuss adding laws and control to the internet.
Thank you for this! I lost my 17 yr old daughter 6 months ago. I honestly still can't believe it. My brain doesn't let me believe that she is actually gone. It will tell me she is at school or away with friends. When I get those moments when I realize she really is gone it is too much.
So very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine. My heart goes out to you.
So terribly sorry 😞
There are no words to comfort you. I know this. My daughter passed away at 27 years old in August 2020. IMHO recovery is impossible.
I lost both of my parents in one year. It seemed like yesterday they were here. Sometimes it does hit me hard they are really gone and I won't see them as long as I live. I understand that and I'm sorry for your loss. When I'm having a bad day I actually cry for my mom. Death sucks big time and is cruel. I hate it.
Sending good wishes your way. 😔
I lost my dog this week to a completely unexpected terminal illness. I have never felt such sadness in my soul. She was such a good friend. She did what we needed her to do and we never had to correct her behavior. She slept in my bed every night and had my days regimented for 8 years. She was such a fun and funny animal. I can’t believe she had to go. I still think about what to cook that I can share with her or see parks that I think we should go to b.c she would enjoy new sniffs…then I realize she is no longer with us and get so sad.
My sincere condolences to everyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. I pray for your peace and return to joy.
❤
It’s been three days for me. My dog died suddenly, with no warning. It feels like I’m being slowly crushed.
Its barely just past 2 weeks i lost my little loyally loving guy. I miss him so much it kills me not seeing or hearing his funny muffled bark...so quiet and painful without his love. I really appreciate and relate to your post. The routine and feeding him has made me now feel lost without him. He loved his food and treats...i knew he was sick when he didn't or just couldn't eat. I'm glad hes not hurting, as it was very difficult saying goodbye. I hope we can see them one day. Just hard not having my boys love and silly cute face looking at me. Love never dies. We hold onto the memories and I'm thankful for his love apart of my life. Nothing is more painful saying goodbye.
Be kind to yourself as you go through the grieving process. Peace to all.
❤@@Magicme79 ❤
Thank you for this episode. I lost my wife to breast cancer a year ago. There isn’t many resources or outreach for young widowers like myself (especially during Covid). I’m still coping with everything and any and all information to help me feel like I’m not a crazy person is very welcomed. My grief has ruined my career path, my passions, and my interest in life. The only thing I found that helps is regular exercise and running. I miss my wife desperately and I know that void she left when she passed will never be healed. Restarting my life at 35 really really sucks. Thank you for this episode! I’m sure you realize how needed this information truly is and I appreciate you and your colleagues insight into this difficult process.
I wish kindness and happiness for you.
Shamy Shakes - 💜 SO very sorry for the loss of your wife so early in your young life.💔 You will find your way and become whole again...wishing for you that healed state of being sooner rather than later. 💖
I've found it so helpful to be able to tell my stories about my mother, over and over somtimes, with people who knew her. Talking about her helped me grow a new relationship with her. I wish you all the support you need.
Often local hospitals will know of local grief counseling groups - Ask them if they have a social worker on their staff who can make a recommendation.
God Bless you mate... ... praying for you 🙏🏼 😇 🛐
I truly appreciate how animals were included in this episode. Some of the most painful times of my life were due to the loss of a pet
I had a beloved cat who died, he was the absolute baby of the family and greatly missed, I dreamt he was walking through fields of green grass and that he was a happy cat, - don't laugh, I never mentioned it to anyone because I thought is was obsurd, about 3 months later out the blue my husband mentioned to me he had a dream that Archie out cat was walking through a field of green grass enjoying life. (Make what you will of that story)
My Girl Rhodesian Ridgeback was my best friend for 10+ years. She was poisoned to death in November. Love for my loss and Hatred for her killers , in the CCP Barack's next door. So tell me oh wise one
animal loss isn’t talked about enough
We’re all gonna make it ❤
Agree 100%
Grief is so hard. My husband & I attended a weekly grief-support group for two years after the loss of our oldest child. Now, twenty years later, we lost our middle child last month just before the holidays. I feel some of the pain of the first loss is now inter-mingling with this recent loss. It seems I feel the loss of both of them now. Grief is emotional, mental and very physical and it is possible to adjust, but it takes time. Be patient with yourself. A treasure is not forgotten.
I feel the same way. I lost my dog 3 months ago and now all my losses are intermingling and the unbelievable lost of my son 10 years ago. Compounded grief! Hugs ❤
I am so sorry 😢
Grief is the most painful kind of love. I worked in inpatient and outpatient Hospice facility. My greatest teacher were the brave and courageous people I cared for. The words of wisdom that they gifted me has helped me navigate my personal grief experience. We are all standing in line. Be kind
Well spoken 👏
@@memastarful
Thank you
Thank you for the work that you do! 🙏🏻❤️
@@dhvani4939
❤️
The hospice staff that took care of my father was amazing! Aa you help people have a good death you are also helping their families… thank you for caring for your patients. 🙏🏼❤️
This is not a mere podcast, it's a weekly masterclass!
Five years after losing the love of my life, I can smile at memories just as easily as I can break down in tears. The jagged edge has softened but it's sharp enough yet to make me bleed. Very apropos topic for this Memorial Day, Dr. Huberman. Thank you.
I face that edge almost everyday, didn't know i was not alone having this feeling ,it's been 8 years since i lost my mom . No amount of therapy/meds have gotten me any long term relief.
My father past away 30 years ago when I was 9. Time has lessened the sharp pangs of grief, but the pain and void never fully recede.
@@jzen1455 no, I fear they never do. 😔.
Beautifully written, sorry for your loss
how are you doing now? its been one month for me and my partner of 15 years and I still wish I was dead. She might as well have died, this is the worst thing I've ever felt.@@michaelsilverfoote6272
Lost my beloved cat yesterday.
She was beautiful until the very end even with cancer.
On the last day she spent the morning with me, laying right beside and purring, though it was already hard for me, in the vet her eyes were full of tears, but she was really cooperative all the way, which isn't how she ever behaved in the vet, even the day before.
I believe she understood the situation, accepted it and was very graceful.
I wrote a letter to her, I will write to her from time to time, even though she is a cat, it makes me feel better, I suggest writing to anyone grieving.
I will always love you and remember you, Margosha
I am in the exact same boat
I lost my girlfriend with 22 to cancer a few days ago...I think there is nothing harder for a young man than losing his the love of his life. We had six wonderful years and I am so so proud of her faith and will to the last second. I will read a lot about grief, talk to psychologists and work on myself to stay alive and reaching my dreams - that would be her wish...one day it's will be ok, maybe not today or tomorrow but I believe with her on my side everything is possible :)
I send you much love and promise to continue taking you to God in prayer😢❤
lost my soulmate this monday. It aches terribly and i miss him so much that i can't put it into words. It is really difficult wanting to stay on this world, but he wouldn't want me to go after him yet. Hugs and love to everyone going through the same.
My heart to you all going through the loss of your loved ones. Some days it’s easy and some days you’re immobilized by the pain. Much love to everyone on this journey. ❤️
❤️🩹Thank you for your words as I’m going through a deeply personal rough patch of grief currently over my beloved adopted mom. During her passing anniversary even…. 😪💔😥
i wonder why that is, why are some days okay and then the next you are just consumed by this debilitating pain
I thought I was coming through the loss of my mother in February. Then yesterday I went outside and saw that a bunch of the bulbs she gave me for presents were popping up to bloom for spring. And I just lost it. Crying and crying and barely able to breathe. I usually love to garden and care for the plants in my yard but this year, I’m afraid to go outside and look at them again. My mom loved gardening too. A million things remind me of her, even my own hands that look just like hers. This is ridiculously painful. I want to function again. She would want me to live to the fullest but without her to share things with, it’s hard to see the point in doing anything. Pathetic and hopefully passing soon, but that is how I feel right now. This sux so bad.
Just lost my mother too in feb 11, sudden and unexpectedly. We lived together. Everything in our home reminds me of her. She really loved gardening, cooking and a pet lover too. I love her more than anything. She was my everything. Now she's gone, I am alone and empty. I am not ready to live without her, but I have no choice. I need to learn to live alone independently, since my father passed away too 16 yrs ago. 💔💔💔😭😭😭
@@DawnSTyler going tgrough the same i absolutely adored my dad and it wasnt his time he was made ill by swapping of tablets then put in a ward with covid he beat that and sepsis then died of pneumonia i feel stiff with pain and know i will never be anywhere near over it. Lost is an understatement. Prayers to all who are suffering. God my only wish is that he is okay in paradise ,heaven somewhere beautiful and pls god we meet them again.😢
Boy, we all sure necessarily need this episode video podcast. Grief and death isn't discussed often to prepare people.
Well said. Most people don't want to think about it but hopefully this way of approaching it from a scientific perspective will allow people prepare
Just what I was thinking. 🙏
Well said, I do agree, & how sad as we will all leave this world one way or another. The work is so gravely needed so we can ALL accept and learn to grieve, and to understand it as Andrew so beautifully discusses. Thank you again, great work! 💞
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@@cherieservello4891 I'm one of those 20% of Americans who fear death. The thought of death persist in some way in my mind all the time. Life is mysterious and awe-inspiring and never truly knowing what this whole universe is about and what lies ahead after death induces anxiety,.
Some get prepared young but some just not got the ability even though they no it's coming to prepare themselves coz either a bond is missing not broken
Dude, you're the Jimi Hendrix of Scientific world. Hats off to you
Lol
Purple haze all in my face
Perfect description...
Yes, yes he is.
You’ve gotta be an Aussie mate. 😂
I just lost my dog. My buddy. I’ve never experienced grief over loss of a pet until now. I miss him so much 😭 As I work through my grief, I remind myself that my buddy wouldn’t want me to continue to be sad. That he’d want me to be happy. My dog was a Pomeranian named Peanut. When I’m having trouble with my grief I say to myself “What would Peanut want for me?” It seems to help me move through the emotion more easily.
You aren't alone. Lost my girl yesterday. Sending strength.
Pets are with us so much so it’s such a devastating loss.
SAME I LOSS my dog denny
1:11:25 I lost my bubbadog on April 12. We spent literally every moment together thru the lockdowns and his illness that had us on a round the clock schedule of meds etc. I literally have no recent memories of myself without him touching me
I’m 70 yrs old, many pets before , but this loss is totally consuming. This podcast is profoundly helpful
I lost my cat yesterday, he was with me for 16 years. It will take time to heal, but I got this. He gave me many years of happiness which was so very much worth the pain I feel now.
This is so good. Since my mum died I've been having such a hard time because I can't "find her". I can't place her in time and space. You explain it so well thank you for giving voice to that.
After someone had gone it is so weird because even though they were there 2 mins ago, now they aren't. All if reality has changed. You cannot time travel back to a reality when they were alive. Suddenly there is a huge gaping void in time and space where they should be.
I'm 1hr 5 mins into this and I'm already incredibly grateful for everything I've learned.
I will also love and miss my mum, she was an amazing human, but hopefully I will begin to heal as I learn how to place her now ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you again 🙏❤️
For me as a Christian, when my daughter died I did allow myself release of emotion, but refused to lapse into self-pity. There were many times I made a conscious decision to rejoice in what she gained (heaven, freedom from struggle and pain) rather than be sad for what we lost. Shifting my thoughts to gratefulness was a benefit, being thankful for the good times and memories, and it was helpful that we as a family found some ways to honor her memory by investing in those still living - we funded projects overseas and there was a college scholarship as well. I did have some trauma to work through just based on things I saw and experienced, especially since I was forced to make decisions alone, though her doctor did offer wise counsel for which I am grateful. Shoulda-coulda-woulda, shame or regret don’t help us to move forward - it’s important to have grace for ourselves and even forgiveness where needed, rather than live with regret.
My condolences 🙏 As Christians we have hope in Christ that through Him we get to heaven. You will see her again
Beautiful!! I feel the same. Thank you for sharing! 💞
Hey Donna, I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing. There’s a comforting thought recorded in Acts 24:15
And I have hope toward God, which hope these men also look forward to, that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous.
Also John 5:28,28, Revelation 21:3, 4 and Psalms 37:29.
I like that Jesus described death as sleep when going to awaken Lazarus. -John 11:11
This planet is without peace and sometimes we need a little rest…but the joy when your daughter wakes up to a peaceful paradise earth will be endless xxx
You are Blessed to Know her destination, we lost a daughter to covid in August of 21& not 2wks later our grandson died from an overdose bcuz her death was overwhelming, neither were in the faith,far from it..I'm SOOOO Sorry for your loss...
This is beautiful. I am always with my loved ones when they die if I am asleep at their time of death. I am actually on part of the journey with them. Its such a great honor and I KNOW we all go somewhere much better. I know it in my bones, my cells, and in my soul. Still sad to be here in the physical without the ones we love but great to know we will be together again one day. This has been something that has been happening for me since I was a child and I am now a grandmother. I am certain your daughter is smiling upon you! Much Love
My wife passed 2 yrs ago. I remember walking into shops and thinking “she would like that!”. Then it dawned on me She was gone.
💔
I lost my mom, and I’ve been doing this too. I know she’s gone but it’s also like she’s still here.
@@ashleys4263 it’s perfectly Normal, feel the way you feel until you don’t. Allow yourself that. ♥️
@@MsCaterific 🙏🏾
🥺
I lost my dog last Fall. I cried so hard that day. The house feels so empty and quiet without him. For a few weeks I continued to go for walks alone and I could hear my own steps. I used to wonder why he was so happy when we walked. I realized that seeing him happy made me happy. I miss him so much.
Lost my husband, then my dog 😢. I had been healing, now back to square 1.
@@Ginger04 I'm really sorry
I have just lost my most perfect, beautiful, loving14 year old son, Branson. It was sudden and I am absolutely shattered. My psychiatrist says the loss of a child is complicated grief. Losing a child feels a life sentence when you have done absolutely nothing wrong 💔 😔. Thank you so much for this video 🙏🏻. I am deeply grateful 🙏🏻💯
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a child has to be the greatest pain in the world. I will pray for you to have strength and courage to carry on ❤
My deepest condolences on the great loss of your son.
My condolences to you on the loss of your dear son, god blew his dear soul 🙏
@kali542 many thanks to everyone who sent their condolences. I really appreciate every kind word 🙏🏻. It is soothing. I'm 20 months in now and the pain is still RAW!!! I'm learning to live alongside grief, but I will never be able to bear living without Branson. I am here. I am trying my very best everyday, but it is really, really difficult. Thank you for asking 🙏🏻❤️
I’m so sorry of loss of your son. The pain of losing a child is unbearable.I have just lost 4 months ago my 15 year old , my dear son Christopher by suicide😢 .The guilt and pain of loss are so deep and painful that it is difficult to put into words. No one will ever understand my pain, unless someone like you who loss their child at such a young age. And God forbid anyone should experience it. The suicide of your own child is the worst thing that can happen to the parents. It completely turn my life upside down . I lost the meaning of life and motivation for life. I often hear that I have another child - my daughter for whom I must live . Yes , it is true. But how one child can replace another? My heart feel like it's been torn apart and it's bleeds endlessly . 💔 ❣️😓
Learning to sit with grief is one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves to then be able to live more fully again.
Listening to this on the tenth anniversary of my 12 year old son’s untimely and unexpected death. Thank you so much for this episode. From a mom. ❤️
So sorry for ur loss
So sorry for your loss...can't even imagine what it is like to lose a child. 🙏❤🙏
🙏🌷
So much love to you. You are held by all of us ♥
🙏 So sorry for your loss
I have hoped to hear this since my son died 14 months ago. I will listen now.
I’m sorry for your loss stay strong 💙
Condolences 🙏
I’m so sorry
I'm so sorry for your loss
Condolences .
Thank you Andrew you’ve help me quit 15 year opiate addiction neuro science hypnotherapy Philosophy and Nad treatment or what saved me you helped me with neuroscience thank you and nad knowledge. Thanks you more then you know!
Congratulations on your sobriety. What an incredible and life enhancing accomplishment- and while I genuinely appreciate and feel gratified by your kind words, YOU did the work. Wishing you all the very best. -Andrew
@Heh Meh watch the 2 hour long video bro
@Heh MehUsually it is an energetic lesson you are suppose to learn and grow from. The mind keeps replaying the trauma loop until we learn the lesson. Also, our brain tends to remember love/experience by the absence of it instead of appreciating the experience. I am glad I got to see/be with this person. You are could actually go through the full process and adapt the character into yourself and become an advisor in your life/person. It works for people who passed. Learning from fictional characters happens all the time...we did it most of our childhood and we learned very well doing this. It is only when we become adults that this becomes "stupid." If you think of memory as false (not perfect and biased, which it is) you are doing it with "real" people as well. But what is the difference between a celebrity that we will never meet (and the image isn't the reality) and a fictional character? Billions of people do what you do. There is NO shame in it. Hope that helps.
Well done mate. You did it though, you are strong. This made my day. You are enough!
✊
@@missycar3277 thank you so much I’m down 85lbs and life is much different and very beautiful 🙏
I lost my son. There are no words to express my feelings. Life will never be the same.
Me too. It’s a forever grief to lose a child, because it’s an out of the natural order event. God bless you❤
Life is never the same
I'm so sorry for your loss💔❤️🩹
Same here
I lost my son, brother, mom and step dad in quick succession, truly a miracle I did not lose my mind!
Over one million subscribers. I will not be satisfied until I see 10 million subscribers. A sincere, humble and knowledgeable scientist who shares his knowledge with others. Andrew is number one in my book. It takes a great deal of effort to prepare podcasts based on facts and research. I hope Andrew feels the level of our deepest gratitude for his work.
I have never experienced anything in my life worse than grief. I've suffered with it for years, yes years. Thank you for covering it.
I hope his podcast helps you. It was truly helpful for me.
@ProfessorNorris1 yes, it did help
I'm so sorry for your loss and what your going through... But your comment has really scared me as it's only been just over a year. People keep telling me it'll get better, but I'm hurting more now than I did a year ago.
@@imranp2010 🙏🌿Praying for you...
@@imranp2010 it feels like it is getting worse for me too (4months) - i think there is a lot to be processed, a lot more sadness, pain and anger to express through tears. I bottle it up, put on my brave face and try to get through my days even though its like a huge weight on my shoulders. constant
After I watched my Dad die I went to my local library and checked out 8 books on grief. Not a word helped. Only grief therapy and time helped. It still comes in waves - 14 years later - especially when I see someone who looks like him out in public.
Yes
10 years my Dad has been gone...old men in bib overalls & white t-shirts still put a squeeze on my heart
thats right - nothing, absolutley no words or advice help - its deeply personal - memories become flashbacks and you wonder will you ever get through this, or have I become a shadow of myself...
Hope you are doing ok . 🙏❤🙏. Try to find the strength and faith in that when you see someone who looks like your dad that is him sending a little sign to you letting you know he is ok and enjoying his new adventure as he watches over you continuing yours.
I lost my brother and my dad within three months of each other this year. I have to make major decisions regarding my children's education. I'm unemployed and a single mom. This is one of the darker time of my life especially as a recovering heroine addict. Still learning coping skills. Thank you for your wisdom
I pray for everyone in the grief state, and for you to succeed in your recovery from addiction, find peace and strength, and reach your goals for yourself and your family
Amen🙏 stay strong and ask God for his help.
The loss of a child has no healing.. I can barely breathe, and it has been 8 years! Her memories are painful. They are a reminder of all the love we had for each other! My complicated grief is here to stay for the rest of my life.
I don't know what to say...but I think you speaking that truth is actually so real and true how could losing a child be any other way.. ...❤❤❤
Thank you for this,
I really feel for you... ❤
I've wondered this. My nephew was murdered by some random guy 7 months ago. My brother and sister inlaw are mortified. It's really difficult to know how to respond to their grief.
l’m so so sorry. I have no kids and have only lost pets. When l lose them l feel so sorry for people who have lost children. I can’t even imagine how much that would hurt. As far as my last dog goes, who died two months ago, she was such a good “person “ if you know what l mean. ln her memory, l am trying to be as good of a being as she was.
All on her own when l moved from the country to the city, she became very good around scared, reactive dogs. People would say “My dog is really not friendly “. But in many cases I would let her approach them anyway. She would stand still and let them smell and touch her with their nose. Then she would slowly and carefully nudge them back. I had many many people say to me “That is so amazing, l’ve never seen my dog so calm around another dog”. I was so happy that she could help another dog have a positive interaction. But it wasn’t anything l did, and she had no special training. It was just who she was.
l’m so so sorry for your loss.❤❤❤❤❤
Lord have mercy on this poor woman’s soul 🙏🏻 be with her as she feels the pain of her tremendous loss
So sorry for everyone's loss here in the comment section. It's the bitter part to the bitter sweetness of life. May they rest in Peace and you find less suffering
God Bless You, I couldn’t have agreed more.
@@jolantamsk3894 thank you
Very wise …very poignant
Very true …Very simple
Life is a miracle and
Life is also a tragedy 🎭
No getting around it at all.
It is what it is.
It’s also a mystery and a dream.
Oof this one is much needed.
Lost my father recently, and it is ao strange. That out of no where, I can get immense pain and heartache.
It feels like the taste of salt is gone from everything, just emptiness.
I feel this. ❤
I've been struggling with complicated grief, for the past 3 1/2 years. I'm grieving the loss of a younger sibling, through death and grieving the loss of my oldest child, to Bipolar Disorder. This video has been the beginning of my therapy. I don't have health insurance, so I want to say thank you for offering something very valuable, for free.
I’m sorry for your losses 🙏
I'm so sorry for your losses, my deepest sympathies. If you are looking for affordable counselling, contact a university near you that has a Psychology program. They often have Masters students who are looking for practical experience by helping those in need -- and they often have a sliding scale of prices. I know in my city, low-income people have been able to access needed counselling for as low as $20-$30 an hour. Wishing you all the best.
I’m so sorry for your loss 🙏🏽
Spread love the way you loved your past loved one ❤
You look absolutely beautiful in the way your are, don't be afraid, you're not alone.
You have survived many hardships in your life. That makes you amazing...
Thank-you for acknowledging the grief involved in pet loss. 🐾💔
I’m grieving my mother right now and it is so painful but I have to say that the loss of my dog Mia last year was almost as bad and actually worse than when my father died. I loved that dog so much and I miss her to this day- my sweetest baby girl.
@@DawnSTyleri’ve seen the loss of a pet can be equally as devastating. it’s rough.
Thank you very much for this episode. And an even bigger thank you for talking about people, animals and objects. I listened to this episode right after I had to put my cat down after 16 years. Learning about grief in this way and the three components of space, time and attachment helps me understand and navigate grief better.
Just the title brings tears to my eyes..
I've navigated many life experiences that have caused me to know grief deeply... beginning even prior to the loss of my brother in 2015..
Since then, I've lost friends, family.. suicide, accidents, addiction..
I've spent my entire adult life healing and being supportive to others who are healing from these experiences of abuse and trauma, as well. I've been in a deep process for the last few years allowing myself to heal in ways I have not before.
Dr. Huberman, Dr. Amen, Dr. Caroline Leaf, and Dr. Snipes have all been my "go to's" for information and resources to navigate these waters.
Thank you for your work, Dr. Huberman! It's very impactful in a positive way!
" .... there is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes". -Milan Kundera
I lost my Ma when I was 7, a brother to suicide when I was 19 and at age 46 I'm dying of necrotising vasculitis. I have CPTSD as a result and I shall bear my cross with faith and am navigating grief by painting, seeing my psychiatrist and I feel 100% confident that I have no regret to speak of and shall pass over knowing I loved and am loved, and have made amends and commit no sin. GOD bless all and may all rest in peace. This too shall pass as they say.
Your Faith is inspiring. If those in the world have what you have, it would be a happier, better world. God bless.
When you read the letter of the grieving husband for his lost wife, I actually sobbed. You totally captured the felt grief. And I know how hard this was for you to discuss after loosing Costello. Hope you have healed.
As a grieving mother my self. I can say more research needs to be done in grieving parents.
I appreciate your research and time you put in to this subject.
Personally I do not like being told to move on.
I carry my grief with me. As he is my son and I carried him in my womb i birthed him I raised him. His death is out of order.
I’ll carry him with me my whole life and continue to love him for the rest of mine life.
My heart goes out to everyone grieving.
I Lost my Dad suddenly 5 months after my 3 child was born. I was suffering from postpartum as I did with all my kids but after the phone call that my Dad was gone, I disassociated for years…it was just to much😕
My dad lived in Hawaii, my bros & I live in Canada, we couldn’t afford to go their. We had to get our Dad cremated & flown to us, even though my Dad wanted his ashes in the ocean.
We’re hoping to finally be able to put our Dads ashes in the Oregon ocean this summer.
I feel like this will be huge for my bros & I to finally have a memorial/funeral bc it doesn’t feel like he’s dead just living in Hawaii since 2016.
My bros & I hurt so bad not having the funds to do this sooner for our father. This has affected all our lives in horrible ways, my one bro is now a functioning alcoholic & my other bro is addicted to opiates, I suffer from severe anxiety & depression…We hurt so bad💔
I don’t think we’ll ever be the same & we don’t know how to process this grief bc it’s so painful.
Our dad was so fun & full of life but then just gone…I have constant flashbacks of times with my dad good or bad.
The intensity of our grief is equal to our LOVE for our father but hasn’t gotten much better after almost 10 years.
We’re all just praying that finally get our father back to the ocean he’ll be able to RIP & hopefully we can live on with some kinda peace❤️🩹
Much LOVE to all who are grieving🫶🏼❤️🫶🏼
@@1blestmomamoe472 hi there,first let me send U& you brothers condolences 💐 for your loss, I just read your message, u R so right! U never get over the loss of a loved 1 u just move along like a snail in life trying to heal you’re wounds;let me tell you having your brothers is key,(having each other) if u guys can talk this is even better 🙏prayer, I know it’s cliché, but it is the only thing that helped me( no alcohol, no amount of drugs) will help,only the lord will! I know
I’ve been HERE! ✌️🦋💕
Iam a Psychotherapist in practice for over 20 years in practice, but when I lost my beloved husband to a cardiac arrest, my world collapsed on me, and I could not even treat myself! This experience since then felt like life has ended! It's coming to 5 years now but it feels like yesterday! Grief is for real and reality is its the love and attachment, love that we hv for our loved ones! Just to be sincere after the funeral, I was clinically diagnosed with a heart condition which direct relates to the cause of my soulmate despite the fact that, I was very normal before he passed! Prof Huberman is a star and I hv found listening to his podcasts very beneficial in dealing with my grief! NO any other Dr can explain this process better than him! I Salute you Prof Huberman! Thank you!!! WE NEED MORE OF THIS! THE WORLD IS GRIEVING!😭😭😭
This talk was my introduction to Andrew Huberman. After 28 years of marriage I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my Lover. This loss has left an enormous hole in our family and in my heart.
Since 2018 my family has been decimated by multiple deaths - my Daddy, all three of my siblings, & my husband.
The grief of my husband has tested my mettle, for sure.
My deepest condolences as you continue to grieve your great loss.
I am very very sorry for your lost. I relate so much to this, I lost my husband two weeks ago due to alcoholism and the guilt and grief are killing me, I also feel my heart beating differently I don’t know if I will make it alive because the pain and suffering are just too much.
@@barbararuiz2690Sending you a virtual hug
I"m still coping with the loss of my father after more than ten years, grieving is what happens as we adapt to the fact that our loved one is gone and we constantly carry the absence of them with us on our journey
I lost mine 2 months ago , I cry everyday I cannot stop , today I couldn’t stop crying and after I stoped I checked my RUclips and dr Andrew posted this . On another note this guy changed my life to better
Sorry for both of your losses.
I lost my grandma 4 years ago.
I cared for her until she passed. I can’t even access the emotion, it’s too painful to access
That's it. Beautifully stated. 🙏😞♥️
Sorry for your loss, I lost my father 2 and half years ago, it’s not easy, God bless 🙏
I lost my father exactly 4 years ago like time didn't pass. Everything I create and do, he is in my mind consciously and subconsciously., sometimes I have a feeling he is still here just not physically present.
Thank you for validating those of us who are deeply grieving the loss of an animal as the same intense grief of those who grieve a human. I’ve lost both and the grief of losing a beloved animal is just as intense and difficult for me as it was to lose my human loved one. I truly appreciate your acknowledgement of all types of grief. Thank you.
Thank you for including pets during your explanation. I lost my emotional support kitty. She was like a child to me and her death was traumatic and unexpected. The grief has been unbearable and I have trouble releasing that images. The grief is also bringing me back to the death of my mum. I was alone during both experiences which also makes the grief feel more intense.
Sorry, for your loss! I lost my cat son a few years ago and it still hurts like it just happen
Someday my 9 year old kitty will pass…I’ve been a widow for 5 years, my children are grown and living their lives far away, she is my daily source of comfort and love all day and night…when she goes I will be helpless…my home will be empty…but I don’t want her uncomfortable as she ages….❤
I so understand!
I am sorry for your loss, i hope that you feel a bit better after a few months and were able to find your peace. I lost my 16 year old chihuahua yesterday, she died in my arms and I am absolutely destroyed.
@@ksavage8307 Thank you. ❤️
Thank you. Ive been working from home a lot the last years and my beloved cat (Daisy Azalea Watson) was there all the time. So close. Almost always very close to me, physically, or I would go to her and cuddle with and kiss her on the head. And after her sudden death last week (only 3 years old) I am in shock and grieving. And I think I see her all the time everywhere in the apartment. And I dont seem to be able to fully understand she's gone. 😔 It's like a shock over and over.. 😢
She was such a love bug! I've never met a cat loving so hard and strong. She used to clean me, as if I was a kitten, and sometimes look up at me and gaze up at me with SO much love I always felt to knocked down emotionally. It was such a strange and mind blowing experience.. so I miss her SO terribly much! (She turned out to have spread cancer..😢). I think the fact I was physically close so much more than any human have ever been is what made this really, really hard. My brain expect her to be there everywhere in my home.
So thank you. I needed this.
I lost my mom unexpectedly 2 days before this was released. Honestly couldn’t have been better timing. I miss her so much. She will forever be a part of my heart. The pain comes in waves. Some days I cry. Some days I barely cry, and I feel guilty for laughing or being happy. It’s hard to sleep some nights. I wish I could have spent one more day with her. I wish I would have known. But that’s life. Thank you this podcast, it has helped me in more ways than you will ever know.
May you find comfort and heal 🙏🏼
My condolences to you on the passing of your dear mother
I lost my mom about 5 months ago, and I miss her like crazy. She passed away a month shy of her 49th birthday (I am 28), it was somewhat suddenly. I have days when I am super emotional, I cry a little, but am yet to gave those big, ugly cries that supposedly help (the one I had with my grandpa 10 years earlier). Other days I even laugh, but mostly, I function. I go to work, pay the bills (my step dad and I live together, and are also trying to establish a better one-on-one relationship between us now after the loss). I feel pain and guilt, as well as helplessness, because I am not sure how to help everyone, who loved her.
Can you please share how you're coping now?
Of all comments written, this is the one that made me cry the most. I lost my mother too. I worshiped her and still do. On fathers day, I bought her gifts because she was both my mother and father having raised me as a single mom. She was a surgeon, so I loved her and respected her so much. and not to say, to me she was the most beautiful human being in the entire universe. I wish I knew how much I would miss her before her death. I would have never left her side. God it hurts so much.
@@sasaninfo1 that’s beautiful. I’m sure your mom is by your side in spirit. I can sense mine at times. Sometimes I find her in my dreams. Sending you a warm hug!
I can’t explain how monumental watching this video was for me. I just got cheated on after a 2 year relationship I thought I’d never get over it and I would always be waiting for her. This has genuinely switched something in my mind which I feel has changed my life. Thank you Andre, you are literally a life saver
My husband died of terminal cancer 6 months ago (43) there are so many losses rolled up into that one (loss of my best friend, my kids dad, my teammate, income, etc) then my little kitten drowned in our pond last weekend. That devastated me just as hard as my husband dying. Grief is deep love but knocks you off your axis. I definitely have a tilt now and struggle daily to get back to balance
My condolences.. poor kitty.. so sorry, 😢
I appreciate your inclusion of animals, which is not always represented in grief discussions. While I have lost family members, the loss of a pet was surprisingly devastating for me and there isn’t always understanding for the depth of loss our pet companions can be. Speaking of, you did not cover cumulative grief- losses at the same time or in rapid succession.
This may sound odd, but I have been listening to this podcast numerous times in order to understand how to "grieve" for someone who is still alive.
My condolences to all who have lost a loved one.
My mom died a few days ago. She was my best friend. I’m empty and lost
@@Lisa-vk1ey I’m sorry for your loss
Same❤
@@Lisa-vk1ey I am so sorry for your loss
Sameee ❤
Last Tuesday I found out that my friend, Logan, who had I had been there for me though hard times and had always been kind to me had been murdered.
I had called him a few times and not heard back, thought maybe he was going through something or ghosting me for whatever reason people sometimes so. I needed support and thought of him again so I reached out. It felt off that he still didn't answer so I thought to Google him just to make sure, I found out he had been shot and killed by his roomate and friend who he had introduced to me as his brother several months ago, in the home they shared 5 minutes down the road from me. the same place I had spend time with them both in within the months before my friend was killed there.
I'm so sad and have really struggled to meld these realities together over the last week.
I am extremely grateful to have Dr. Hubermans as a resource through this time, I emensley appreciate the perspective so Thank you
I lost my lovely husband 6 months ago, my Dad a year ago and my Mum 2.5 years ago. It has been relentless and I am resonating with this podcast - I just don’t know what to do next. Thank you for this, it is timely for me ❤️
🙏
I have experienced the death of My mom, dad and two brothers over a 5 year span. There are days when I feel very sad. I share my feelings with family or friends. I am finally getting to acceptance, having better days. There is no time limit to grief, each of us heal in our own time. My prayers for your peace and good memories of your love ones. 💖🙏🏼💖
I feel you. I lost my dad, my uncle, and father in law 2 years ago, and my mom 2 weeks ago. It feels like you can't come up for air before another person is taken. It's devastating and disorienting. I hope you have loving people around you helping you cope.
@@erheaflower4318 sending huge warmth your way, it is such a traumatic time, at the same time it cracks you open to such a degree that you feel you're at oneness with God, or Source, the Realm, whatever you want to call it. I hope you're okay, I feel for your loss of your Mom and send gentle virtual support
@ E Rhea Flower I’m sorry for all your loss. May her beautiful memories overshadow any that bring you sadness. Think of her talking to you or you talk to her everyday and asks for signs. Mom can you show me a sign like a 🦋maybe a bird. If you see something and you were thinking of her she was there leaving a sign. It can be so subtle. The butterfly you might see on TV or a magazine or a real butterfly. Whatever you ask for just keep an open mind. She isn’t gone she is in her spiritual body. God bless you and try to honor her on the holidays instead of being sad. Much love sent your way, it is very hard to lose a mother no matter what age. 💜
Thank you! My significant other passed last night, I opened youtube for calming music, this episode came out first! God Bless your calling, helping and sharing your knowledge and expertise via youtube! Thank You!
Just lost our dog …loved that girl more than i can expressly..thank you for being pet inclusive .
I read the deeper you loved someone
The longer you might grieve
I am on year 60...
@@leecox6241 ❤️
Oh no!! 😢
@@leecox6241 oh no, I'm only on year 1.5.
Grief transforms, the longer one grieves comes from Trauma that’s unresolved, our creator created the body to heal even after deep loss ❤ loving deep leads to living an honored life, waking up to the fragility of life’s cycle, this is an amazing awareness video on healing our bodies to heal grief
The experience of visiting gravesites of loved ones never made sense to me personally, but in your explanation of grief in the context of space, time and attachment I now understand why it matters so much to some people.
These last three episodes on memory and grief have been invaluable. Now so many perplexing and stressful situations make sense. Thank you!
Such a helpful episode. Thank for your service to the public. This month, I lost my 15-1/2 year old best dog ever. Although expected, I embodied deep grief. Intuitively, I followed much of what you have scientifically explained, and went from a hazy feeling of numb shock to gratitude for my time with such a beautiful little animal soul. I had friend support, we buried him together, had music, flowers, ritual. I meditated, got more sleep, exercised, walked, cried fully as it came up, ate well, practiced deep breathing, and got sunlight. These practices allowed for a gentle, loving sense of closure, and a deep appreciation for the fullness of life.
Wow u did it perfectly
I'm following that with my loss!
I experienced mind numbing grief when my son went through addiction and the loss of stages of a “normal” life, such as silly things like proms, graduation, college etc. Sometimes grief can be from a loss of a vision, or the expectations you assumed for your children and to watch them change before your eyes, feeling frustrated that nothing you do helps them. I wish I had had this information then. I got “stuck,” just as you say. I dwelled on episodic memories of what he was and was missing. You are so right. These memories do not serve as well and creates more grief that takes longer to overcome. It absolutely led nowhere. My youngest son introduced me to these podcasts. I’m so grateful. Thank you for giving of yourself. I live in a small town and the mental health help here is awful. Your podcasts are literally life saving for 1000s of us.
My son died last week. I’m going to try to watch this soon, when I’m ready.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My mum died recently, but she was very old, but this vid. has helped a bit. I miss her so much. But if one of my daughters died, I wouldn't know how to come to terms with it.
@@candicebowden4123 thank you. My mom passed in August at 94 and I was so happy she lived all the years. This is so different and I appreciate your thoughts very much.
May GOD be with you. 🙏
My mom was 67 ,it feels like yesterday but an eternity😢@@candicebowden4123
grief and trauma I know well. Watched the closest person pass away five feet from me on a trail when a dead wood tree hit her. Extensive head trauma and passed immediately. I was sure that the pain would consume me but the right trauma specialist got to me the second day after and we set up a structured day everyday to get me thru this. One tiny step at a time brought me back and now its 11 months later. I am still triggered in certain things but I have gone back to the woods and am experiencing adventures once again. For me it was my belief in God, therapy, a routine every morning that included Wim Hof , prayer and meditation. Friends and family were supportive. I will never understand that horror of what happened on that trail that day but I have found ways to live thru this and move forward in a healthier way than even before this whole thing happened. Time helps and I was looking for anyway I get through as the pain was beyond anything I could even describe
Sheila
Thank you Andrew for this podcast. My wife passed away from breast cancer 21 months ago and I never stop thinking about her. This podcast has helped me to understand greef so much more and what I was and still am going through.
I have listened to this in little chunks as my husband took his life last week. There have been tools provided here that I have been able use, especially around a healthy uncoupling of my understanding of his place in time and space. Keeping this firmly in mind while writing to him, has helped. I am struggling with guilt a lot but I am quite a strong person and I've read that this guilt is inverted anger. I've had some very odd phenomenon take place over the week that I wish I could understand better. This information has been immeasurable in terms of moving forward. I am just now watching the last 15 minutes now and have found that I have been using this relational grieving tool to push though. As always, thank you.
I'm so sorry for your loss
So sorry for your loss. Cant imagine how difficult that must be. Hope you find some peace.
@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb Hi, sorry I've just seen your comment, I don't comment often on RUclips so never thought to check back until now. I am from the UK. I have done a lot of healing in the past 14 weeks. I have come to a place of peace. I'm still sad but no longer feeling that guilt I mentioned previously. There's something still profound to me going on that feels like a continued communication from him. Which initially was a bit troubling but now I just see it as comforting, when I listen to whatever message he's giving me, my life just seems to get better, it's weird. Did/do you experience that?
@@mariag-nq8zl I've experience this with the loss of my mother, father...I believe that they are with us on a higher plane of conciousness. My belief in God and the love I feel from him affirm this. Continue to listen to the soft voice of the loved ones you've lost and seek the Lord. I hope you are well and contiue to get better.
My partner died just 5 days before Christmas 2022. I am going through very intense grief right now. "Phantom limb" is a perfect analogy for me at the moment. Also, the yearning for close proximity with him is very, very real. So, tears on daily basis are inevitable. To cheer myself up, I started grief journaling where I write imaginary conversations with him and fill in the blanks with comments or answers he would typically respond to in that situation. I read books on the topic from writers who talk about their personal experiences of grief and I can relate to that. I find it easier to process my emotions this way. The strange thing is that I can talk to my friends about grief, but not to some members of my family.
I lost my dad in September 2021 to Lewy body dementia. I watched him suffer for a few years leading up to his death. It’s a roller coaster sometimes I’m in acceptance and I’m okay and then there’s days like today where I feel like I’m never going to stop crying and I’ll never be okay. I miss him a lot and the dreams I have of him are the worst. I was only 23 when he died and he was only 57 it shouldn’t have been like this.
This podcast, as opposed to other ones, was delivered with some intense emotion (at least that's how I perceived it). It felt very heart-felt, almost more poetic than scientific.
Thoroughly educational, relevant, and enjoyable, as always!
40:00 - The reading & analyzing of Dr. Feynman’s letter to his deceased wife…Powerful…
I agree. Yearning & longing & letting go pretty much lend themselves to the poetic. It's all bittersweet.
Indeed, the empathy in his voice helps a lot in healing and knowing that you are not alone
A caring heart behind a scientist , you really care for people and want them to be in a better place at least by utilizing free tools like sunlight ,exercises and these perfect talks .Thanks for being a guide, mentor ,friend and good human being. Love and respect.
I wrote letters to my mom every day in my diary for over a year after she died. Then one day without thinking or force I started writing normally again. Still miss her almost six years later. p.s. That letter to his deceased wife made me CRY.
Thank you Andrew, this has helped. I just lost my fur-child, my constant companion, emotional support and exercise buddy. Thank you for the importance of including animals in this discussion. They’re just as important, if not more important in some cases, than our human losses. 💕
Same 😞😞😞😞
There are losses we just won't get over. My son died two years ago, I can't imagine ever getting over this.
My aunt whom I saw as a second mom just passed away yesterday, this could not have come up in a better time. I will be using the knowledge you shared in this episode to help my mom cope with her grief. Thank you sincerely. 🙏
Thank you for describing how sitting in our emotional, and physical sense, of attachment to our loved one, without guilt trying to change our loss, gives our brain time to create a new map to their location and the time it takes to form new relationship with them. So beautifully explained with the hope this mechanism is built in us, and can get us through. You present with such kindness and integrity. Thank you. You're a wonderful teacher.
Wow this has explained so much about my own grief process after my daughter died in a freak accident 22 years ago and how I have always felt the path I took with Yoga and Meditation was like a detraum program over many years and more valuable than talk therapy.
I got so much from the understanding of the 3 Dimensions and how I was totally COUPLED to episodic implicit memories and unable to remap for a very long time.
The mindfulness, body mind connection and present moment practices that I live have now a deeper meaning for me and so valuable for the grieving process.
I never went to University but have basically immersed my self into researching and understanding grief and trauma.
Thanks to you Dr Huberman and other teachings along the way, I have managed to study my own life and learn so much to be able to have a meaningful and engaging life, as well as help others. Very Appreciative.
I lost my dear dear mother at 79 after a brief illness..
It hit me at month 5 and I stumbled across this video which had a profound effect on me, causing me to return on to the UK from Mexico (time and space alteration).
A month on from that I have been through extreme pain in my home city, but seems to be better on the other side.
Just wanted to send (((🤗)))
I'm sorry for your loss. May you find peace.
FYI in a little over a month it will be 5 years since my mother passed (at age 79), and I am finally feeling like I can get back to self care. I never would have guessed that the death of an elderly parent could hit so hard.
Also 79. It comes and goes. A year ok still occasionally intense
Today, two years after this magnificent post, I am watching it, trying to help a friend in grief. I have been away from my family for over 32 years, and unfortunately, my loved ones, including my mom and dad, have passed. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to them. After my mom passed, I was devastated, and I had nowhere and no one to go. One night, she came to my dream, healthy and happy. I told her,” Mom, you are alive; I was told that you are dead. She smiled at me and replied, I’m not dead. I’m with you and see you all the time; you can't see me, but you can talk to me anytime you want”.
Lost my husband. Letter was so sweet relatable and left me in tears. Understanding grieving is so Important.
My condolences. I was wondering if anyone could get through this episode without crying!!
Thank you so much @Andrew Huberman I’ve lost two brothers this month. It has been the most difficult of my life. Brought me to tears seeing this episode released by my favorite podcast.
I love that you included animals in this. The loss off my bulldog has been more difficult and prolonged than any of the humans in my life
I’m going through this right now. Sending you ❤
@@pris_pris sorry for your loss. ❤️ right back to you
Recently widowed and so grateful to have found this. I was so afraid I was losing my sanity searching for and speaking to my beloved...God bless you!!!!!
I am a 47 year old man. I have no kids and am single. I cared for my dad for 10 years until he died of end-stage Parkinson's. Now, my mom is in hospice, I cared for her for the past 15 years. I am my mom's full time care caver. I did everything with her.
As a grieving person for a year, I can say this is the most useful podcast I heard about grief. Thank you so much!
im going thru intense grief - i cared for my mom for the last 5 yrs and that level of closeness when it disappears with death is so so painful.....
I also took care of my mom for 5 1/2 years and she passed 2 months ago. It is so sad , and we wish our moms could always be with us! That is wonderful that you cared for your mom and love her deeply. I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you as you grieve. Let the tears flow when they come. How blessed she was to have a son who loves his mom.
Yes this is so true!! I miss my grandmother so much. I cared for her and my grandfather. They passed 29 days apart.
Dr. Huberman your podcast, your way of aproaching every matter through scientific data, as well your ability to communicate those comlpex concepts in such a conceivable way to most people is something priceless. We are extremely thankful to you and your efforts because they are setting a very practical frame for healthier individuals and a better world. thank you.
Needed this, I've been grieving for 3 years now. In 2020 my wife and i lost our new born baby boy 2 days after his arrival and 5 months later my Dad left too. Haven't been easy.
I’m sorry for your losses 🙏
My husband died in February of 2020. When you read aloud the letter from Feynman to his wife Arlene, I cried like a baby. That is EXACTLY how I feel! He was the love of my life and I can't imagine not continuing to love him. But, in thinking about the uncoupling of the attachment from the memory catalog process, my first thought was, that's what looking for "signs" is about. I think I'm actually doing the work without realizing it. For instance, when my refrigerator broke down and all the food went bad, I looked up and said, "It sucks that you're not here to help me with crap like this!" Or when people tell me I'm "still so young," I talk to him about how I feel about it and ask if he could somehow tell them to shut up and worry about themselves. I know he's gone, so I engage with him in real-time with the understanding that he isn't going to answer me. Thank you for letting me know I'm normal.
Grief is actually very healthy and normal. It would be more concerning if you didn't expérience it. Life and death sometimes walk hand in hand with mother nature in between. Good Luck out there.
I had a close friend who, despite her talent for making everything in her presence brighter, took her own life. I learned a really important lesson from her passing. It's not always easy depending on the circumstances but the lesson is... don't let good memories be painful. Remembering times her and I shared had always filled me with joy when she was alive. I always had a bad habit of dwelling on loss and obsessing over what ifs and should haves.... I never got to thank her.. Perhaps I should write her a letter.
This was just englithening. PLEASE do one on guilt and shame, it would be just too useful to have the basis of daily suffering covered by science supported tools so we can manage our way through life more effortlesly. Thank you for your work, Dr. Huberman.
Second this. Guilt, shame, and resentment needed
yes because I am dealing with so much guilt after my husband’s death God please please help me give my old life back
I have been obsessed with repairing my grief brain. I lost my son Aug 26,2020. I was in such a fog, I couldn’t remember anything, I didn’t want to eat, cook… I would lose it over anything and just sob. I finally read that it was like a brain injury. I have been fasting, taking MCT &BHB in my coffee every day. Dave Asprey and David Sinclair have helped so much! It working…. Thank you for addressing this topic!
I am so sorry that you lost your son😢
Yes. I think “brain injury” describes it well.
There's times where the grief is so intense, that pain is so painful, it's actually indescribable, you can't actually put it into words. People who've never been though what you've been through will never understand...
Yes my 2 year old daughter died 5 months ago due to an illness and watching her suffer before she died was almost inhumane. I’ll never be the same but I will always strive to integrate my grief so I can be a good mom to my other children and husband. There just is nothing compared to losing your own offspring.
Breathing truly does help for me however creating a 15 min video narrative of my daughters life from start to finish and sharing it in a close group to grief with and publically, has been very therapeutic for me
So sorry for your loss ❤ It's wonderful that you were able to honor her that way.
I lost my father last month and was experiencing the most intense grief of my life. Few days ago this video popped up on my screen though I wasn't even aware about the existence of this channel. It is helping me immensely to process through my grief. Thank you for making this video. Regards
This was such an amazing episode. I got absolutely crushed two years ago when my cat I was extremely close with had to be put down due to some a strange illness he got out of nowhere. I had experienced losing my mom and sister at a young age before which definitely shifted my world view and fundamentally changed me as a person but I think being so young when it happened helped my brain eventually move on from the grief at that time. But the loss of my best friend two years ago brought me to depths that I didn't know I could experience. Made it even harder to talk to people outside of my wife and few others about it because a lot of people unfortunately seem to value the life of a 4 legged companion as something "less" than that of a human relationship. Getting my diet in order and doing rigorous physical exercise has been the best thing to help bring clarity and a sense of genuine happiness again in life. Thank you for this episode and all that you do man.
Very sorry for the loss of your beloved cat. Deep human relationships with pets/animals/nature is so often discounted both by many religions, cultures, and science - a profound anthropocentrism. Honestly, as someone who has had many pets and spends a lot of time in nature, it can be a lot easier to have a profound connection with them than many fellow humans. We also have pets physically close to us and also spend a lot of time with them compared to even extended family or friends. This episode's explanation of time, space, and connection really helps explain it. No shame in that. May you find happiness and joy in both the memories of your cat and perhaps when you are ready, in new relationships. Sounds like your healthy habits could help.