Did y'all know the Porn Addiction Primer on our members site is actually free to everyone?! If that interests you and you haven't checked it out yet, come on over to members.healthygamer.gg/c/porn-addiction/!
Hey doctor k love you a lot. we need a detailed video on envy. How to handle that envious emotion basically a detailed and complete guide on this topic is missing in your channel. Envy could be from your sibling, relatives and how envy consumes us
“Overcoming an addiction is not about being strong. It’s about putting in lots of hours in stupid shit that you don’t want to do.” Eg meetings, therapy, daily meditation, etc I love this quote. Another banger from Dr. K 👌💣
I would say it's an accurate quote, but at the same time, putting in a lot of hours doing things you don't want to do actually builds strength, resiliency, and discipline.
I've realized that watching 6 hours of online content a day and being restless and purposeless without it means it's a bonafide addiction, and i've been slowly working on it the past few months. This video helps a lot, if only with perspective. (but honestly probably a lot more)
yeah, this idea that addiction is like a specific object with boundaries "this is an addiction, that is not an addiction" is just another human attempt at oversimplifying something to make it easier to hold in our mind. addiction in the clinical sense is really just attachment taken to an extreme that negatively affects your life but on a personal level, we have all kinds of variations of attachment to different behaviors, things, people, even thoughts. I'm happy for you that you are raising awareness in your life and cultivating a better one 🙏🏻
I've pulled back on my social media consumption because it was problematic for me. I've noticed the strange irony of getting support and compassion on one of the platforms that once consumed you. Anyway, that realisation of yours is really positive, good for you!
I look forward to watching this one. I have an addiction that is basically destroying my life, but since it only affects my mind, no one else around me can understand or relate (thankfully they don't have to). I come across as normal, while being eaten up inside. And it's amazing how therapists don't seem to get it either.
The more you keep to yourself, the more goes unnoticed into your subconcious and then nobody knows whats wrong. You'll uncover and resolve those if you tackle them on (so just sitting for an hour doing nothing without distraction), then you atleast get aware of them again but just keeping it to yourself completly will move you into the wrong direction continuesly
I'm really curious about what it is, do you mind sharing? It may validate not only how you feel to see other people understand, but it may validate others for seeing you mention it. Perhaps they are also battling with the same thing
I needed this. I've been sober for almost 2 years. I did all the things that you talked about, and even I went back to school. I'm actually a neuroscience major and doing really well, but I kind of slipped up over winter break because I told myself I deserved it. Fortunately nothing horrible happened, and everything's fine now, but yes, it can insidiously sneak back up on you like that and I see how important it is to remain vigilant, and for me, stay busy. I don't think about it when I'm studying. School is my top priority and science means so much more to me than using, but having over a month of free time with nothing to do kind of took me off guard. I have to remember what a tricky little fucker my nucleus accumbens is. Thanks
@Holfus I'm still in school and I'm 40 so I'm old AF, but I had to do something drastic to change my life, just like he talks about in this video. It was science that helped me get better and that's what keeps me in line because I want it more than anything else. I'll complete undergrad in 3 years and plan on doing a PhD after that. Getting a neuro degree is really only worth it if you get a PhD. Science related PhD programs in the US pay a small yearly stipend to grad students in exchange for doing research. It's not much but it's enough to get by until you graduate with a phd, (which pays considerably more.) It makes sense for me because I was more than ready to leave my previous career. Also my son is grown so I don't have young kids or anything. The way I see it, it's never too late. Where would I be in 3 years, or 7 if I didn't do it? Doing same crap as before and living in regret. Fuck that. Ageism is a thing but I don't care. I've dealt with much worse in my life. It's also becoming much more common for people to go back to school later in life. If you really want it, don't let that stop you. Although I'm not planning in staying in academia myself, I like to remember: Francis Crick was a 37 yr old grad student when he helped discover DNA's double helix structure!
This is great to read. I need to quit and I really want to go back to school, but I've always been afraid that I'm not smart enough or I'll relapse and ruin it.
@@johnnymatias3027 totally understand! my biggest fear is that I'm not smart enough. I'm still scared of that but I've started to realize it's not about how smart I am(because I'm really not), it's about how much work I put into it. My good grades are a direct result of how much I study. I think it's really important to have a reason, something that matters to you more than anything else to work towards.(it really helps to have something to keep you busy too) I don't hear that being talked about enough in recovery spaces. I would recommend getting a good stretch of clean time before making a commitment. Enough time to where you feel pretty good sober on a day-to-day basis. For me, that was about a year. I know that sounds like forever but it's really not in the grand scheme of things. Good things are very rarely immediate. They take time to accomplish whether it be sobriety, a degree, whatever. It's worth it though, and so are you! good luck 💚
I resonate with "addicts work the best on the smartest people". I don't mean to say I'm amazingly smart and my ego is inflated, but I tend to overthink. When I overthink, my brain comes up with new ways to weasel out of the things that I'm supposed to be doing. I wish I knew how to make an "impervious rule" like Dr. K suggests.
That reasonates with me. I've tried to download many apps to block my pc and smartphone, but every single time I find ways of bypassing it. I even learned a bit of programing and working with android system just to unlock my phone. In that time the mindset was like "if I can unlock it, I deserve it" or "If I can unlock it means this app is bad and I should look for another better perfect alternative".
Thing we wants to get rid of has access to our whole processing power. On the other side this same powers can be channeled to answear all that it drops on us, so there is a balance of sort, cause some tactics You can employ would've been too much for less inteligent people.
@@78alJ0vle Try to cut the velocity of the whole world. This will force you to be more social. Just kidding, the problem is you feel lonely and you need either followers or a master. We are social creatures we either follow or lead. Try to find people like you that stop each other from doing bad habits or doing it too much. This is the way.
@@Dolritto Ballance is a fool way. Do we have on the earth 50% herbivores and 50%carnivorese no? Do we have the same land mass and the same watevolumeym, no. SOme humans forget their origin, we are social not solitary. If you continue to be solitary you will do end up do bad habits cause you lonely, sad, tired and wahtever.
Your brains is overthink cause you are lonely and you live alone. If you are social you tend to do less overthink cause you share responsibility with other people.
I don't religiously watch Dr. K's videos or even his streams, but I stumbled across the "what happens when you quit caffeine" video and that (combined with several other things) led to me quitting cigarettes, THC, fast food, soda, and caffeine over the last six months. Caffeine was the last one, and I stopped about 4 days ago. I am so tired lol but I know I'll be better when I come out the other side. Thanks for everything you do!! I wish more psych professionals catered to specific types of cultures like this. I think I've broken my gaming addiction as well, but I still consider myself a part of that group.
I'm just going to say, as a person with avoidant behaviour and a past videogame addiction who happened to reinstall a game yesterday evening after a really bad week, the passage about not bending the rules and the analogy to the poisonous gas hit like a truck. Though this message will drown in a sea of others, know that I'm thankful for your videos and what you've done, Dr. K Wish you luck, guys.
I really enjoyed the slower, quieter pace of the video. I didn’t enjoy the fast paced videos, felt too ADHD lol. This felt like the older dr k videos which I loved!
Perfect timing. 5 days without a drink. (after countless attempts for sobriety)...Several times I have used the excuse, "if I'm gonna drink in a year, that's going to make me more disappointed in myself than if I do it now.". Such an insane (in hindsight) form of SELF SABOTAGE. In the moment it seems logical and giving yourself the control of the outcome.
It's ironically true, because it's also the very thing that keeps you on the wagon. Once you're a year sober you start thinking "If I relapse now, it'll all be for nothing AND I'll be disappointed". Ime anyways. Hell some of my nightmares were about relapsing 😅
Recently, I downloaded my bank statements and summed up the expenses in Excel for weed consumption. In a 2-year period, I've spent about £2730 (about 3250 euro). I am definitely motivated to take a break - going for 30 days and re-evaluating then. Been getting high in the evenings almost daily... I never dream. On day 1 of quitting, I had a fairly mild/forgettable dream, but was surprised at how fast it came back. Going to bed on 2 soon and I expect it may get more intense. I'm fighting a porn addiction too (which has been going on for very long time).
Alcohol is actually one of the most harmful and hardest drugs out there! I have a lot of respect for you! 🙂👍♥️ I am very addicted to kratom for at least 8 years now and it ruins my whole life. I am also addicted to DXM and while it helps a little bit with my depression it seems to destroy my brain! I hope i dont will get dementia! 😪
Way to go man. A good way to help your struggle with food is just have 2 large meals a day. Snacking/ mindless eating is not good. Get your body and mind adapted to 14+ hours of not eating.
@@habib-gn2hdhands down. This man’s work has eternally transformed my life. I will be forever grateful. Yes I’ve done the work, but he helped show me what work was possible.
What the hell is wrong with Adderall? I’m staying on the same dosage. Is there some thing you need to tell us? I just started two months ago and it’s been fine for emotional regulation
Thank you so much, Dr. K. I’m not a gamer, but I’ve learned so much here. If there’s one thing I’d like to share, it’s this: The power lies within us. Calmness, peace, relaxation, and self-love-they are already a part of us, just as much as our fears, addictions, and weaknesses. Sometimes, I feel like destroying all the phones. What are we really searching for in them? Why am I even here again? The truth is, there’s nothing out there that can truly fulfill us. Everything we need has always been within us.
Congratulations! I was (am?) wake and bake and it stopped doing anything for me so I stopped. So far so good, but it’s only been a short while. Good luck!
I’ve been smoking once a day when I got home for maybe about a year now. The addiction hit quickly lmao. I pray you find the strength to get rid of all your carts and resin. Gets a lot easier that way
Yes you are, like most of us are! Btw it was the hardest to overcome for me when I tried to stop doing sugar - after having a nice healthy meal, at 3pm I would start thinking of chocolate and until I had a (whole) bar (or 2!) I couldn't think of anything else :( but I kept eating healthily until one afternoon I realised I wasn't craving for chocolate any longer! Now I can have a little square of chocolate when I feel like something sweet and feel satisfied, but it's not unconsciously incontrolable as I'm my early 20s
From what I learn, sometimes, we eat sugary things bcs we want to avoid certain feelings. Boredom, guilt, uneasiness, so on. Sugar tastes good, therefore we don't feel those uncomfortable feelings. And sometimes we also don't eat enough food that contains nutrients we need throughout the day (carbs, protein, fiber, etc), so the body craves sugar as instant source of energy. I find myself less cravey of sugar if I eat enough food and nutrients in the morning (protein and fiber especially), but my neurodivergent brain couldn't do it every morning tho, so there are many days that I failed
@catagecat not real? Children have been given sugary stuff since early days! I have many times referred to sugar as the cocaine for the poor. There's an excellent book that shows the history of sugar and how addictive it is called Sugar Blues by William Dufty. Highly recommend it!
Certain synthetic sugars are the worst, about 1 year ago it was flavored lemonade waters so I replaced that with water and more natural sugars, sometimes a small splash of juice. Those lab engineered sugars are so sweet they make everything else taste dull and you kind of get a weird craving for it. I try to keep to salad, superfruits, omelette, oatmeal, and normal routine. I force myself to walk/run each day. Sugars get worse to avoid around the holidays we have chocolate, pies, and all sorts of bad habit food around.
Couldn’t thank you enough, Dr. K! Last year, you helped me get through my gaming urge & weed addiction. Your guesting at Mel Robbin’s podcast was the deal breaker for me to control myself from getting dopamine from excessive gaming. Since then, July last year, I haven’t played CODM, and I finally got my normal self back after quitting weed last quarter of the same year. It was a tough slippy sloppy process the entire year, being confused as to why I should stop and is weed really good or bad. And your contents gave me all the helpful informations for me to finally clicked, I’m really grateful for your works, they are truly masterpieces. To the ones who are battling game addiction and other stuff, here are some that helped me get through them that might also work for you guys who are seeking for change. 1. Treat your body as an animal that is automatic. You gotta have to STARVE it if you’ve already realized that that something you’re into you is causing you troubles. 2. Embrace PAIN and SUFFERING during those starvation times. Soon, your body will get back to its natural state, where food is the only thing you need. 3. MOVE AROUND, get a dog that you will have to cater, bathe, and clean shit 💩 for. I have a toddler and a dog, and I’ve accepted that I am their servant, it’s a good way to think of it, though sometimes it could be really tiring. When the our body moves, it helps the brain with some chemical reactions happening in there lol. 4. FACE BOREDOM, you’ll soon find out what matters truly, just sit with your thoughts even if it’s painful. Develop a MUSCLE for BOREDOM. Remember that being alive and healthy today is the greatest gift one could have.
Genuinely feels impossible to quit it forever. I can go months without gambling, but one moment of weakness or arrogance and I’ve lost most of my money again
I'm giving up all of my bad habits overnight, a lot thanks to you Dr. K. I'll be documenting it on my channel and I'm hoping it can heal my shattered brain. Thanks for your inspo, cheers!
I quit smoking, i am quitting weed right now, and i will quit methadone. Step by step. The last year was really eye-opening for me. And it's the first time I'm positive, that I will stay clean!
Doing dry jan and its made me realize i drink because im bored a lot of the time. I struggled the first week, not because i was craving a drink, but because i felt directionless. Like i didnt know how to relax and move on without it. Its been a good few weeks, cycling after work and playing beatsaber really gets a lot of the same energy out and is much healthier.
I want to be a psychotherapist when I grow up, and your videos really help me to reflect and expand my horizons. Keep up the good work 😄 I just hope that the membership payment is cheaper, cuz 10 bucks a month is way to expensive for many students who want to enjoy your videos
Dr. K… thank you …. You explain things in a very true, simple , non-judgement way & in a happy way where it makes me think “ I can” actually get through this
Ironic how the whole dr K brand is keeping you glued to the screen watching his videos and streams and they do everything that all the big youtubers do to hijack your attention and keep you an addict. I used to be a fan but I know better now. Watching this guy for 100hrs < 10 mins of thinking and listening to yourself in silence on your own
Yeah… sort of feeling the same. The whole thing is starting to loose its charm because it starts to feel like: “profit > people” I even commented about my concerns about this and my comment got deleted I value the dude’s thoughts but it gets really suspicious if they start to moderate feedback that hard
Don’t get me wrong - I still respect his opinion but I have a sense dude starts to lose being in touch with reality and the lives of everyday people. I am happy he got successful - but at what cost? There is a paywall to his coaching program and the guide - IDK, but like it seems that he lost being a community focused dude at some point and shifted to treating this as business.
I agree that the paywalls are kinda sus, but the whole point of this channel is that it “tricks” people into learning about mental health. If he didn’t use the attention grabbing tricks he wouldn’t have an audience. These videos have been huge for me and they’re really easy to share with my younger brothers for example, because it’s a familiar format to a lot of other streamers and youtubers
You posted this comment literally 2 minutes after the video went up. Are you the editor? The editing feels awful. Love Dr. K but this editing is like a headache being shaken up in a bottle.
Hey Dr K. I used to watch you alot. Not that I dislike you now or anything, but I just kinda stopped. But like EVERY SINGLE TIME you make a video about addiction, I watch it. I'd love like LOVE to see a series on how the various different kinds of substances influence how different your road to recovery is.
I quit cigarettes cold turkey after smoking for over 30 years. I decided I was done. It took another 2 years to give up my 7 years of on and off meth use... As in on for 6 months, off for 4 months, rinse and repeat. Recalibration to (facing) who I am without the substance, rewiring my brain, walking away from losers, changing my environment, dealing with those dormant emotions, and a dedication to self care all starts with a decision. But each one of those things is a separate decision that builds on each other, like the legs of a stool. Knowing what was missing within myself, and some serious self talk in the mirror was key in waking away from, and outgrowing my meth addiction. "The most insoluble problems cannot be cured, only outgrown." - Carl Jung
The hardest is giving up the friends.. It doesn't really work to tell them not to give me weed or nicotine when i'm with them. The thought of those addictions always seek into my conciousness by being around and seeing those substances. How am i supposed the give up my only friends? Best friends... It's a 50/50 decision which i'm pondering from side to side.
I understand, I've been in a similar situation before. The ideal scenario is that the group as a whole simultaneously commits to putting in the work to quit the addiction(s). However, since that is completely out of your control, you simply cannot bank on that. This is just my opinion/advice (from your perspective a complete stranger on the internet, so take it with a grain of salt), but if you want to quit without your friends quitting WITH you, you'll need to make new friends.
It's a good idea to start something new, look for some activity you could put your time in. Maybe it becomes your new environment, so you can change the environment. Quiting best friends sounds impossible. Trying out some martial arts or whatever sounds fun.
@@MrPinkDino Yeah I agree that you can find other people who share your interests to spend more time with in person, but it also doesn't mean you need to burn bridges. If those older friends respect your wellbeing and desire to better yourself as a person, they'll respect your grind for a while from a distance (assuming you don't believe you can be around them using, and they will necessarily use). And in time, if you keep it up and demonstrate how your life has improved through your demeanor and your attitude, it will only serve to inspire them too. If the support isn't there, it will be easier to find entirely new friends anyhow. tl;dr remind yourself that you can become a pillar of motivation for others who you care about, it will be easier to make sense of what you are doing in the interim.
Thank you for this video, I have a couple of people in my inner circle who used to be addicted to different kind of substances and this video helped me understand better the work they had done in order to overcome their issues.
I know it's reductive, but often times we enjoy the chase rather than the actual end. The chase and anticipation is where the dopamine comes from. When I learned that, I worked hard to redirect that dopamine spike to other things. It helps kick an addiction, and it also helps get things done. How's that for killing two birds with one stone?
As someone who lives with an addict (and is an alcoholic).. I've heard him say this before. "My life is terrible without it, I'd rather die". Even reminding him this is temporary does nothing. He is extraordinarily smart, getting a PhD right now. Def hard to use logic on him.
He is right though, that IS how it feels, that is an addicts reality. If it wasn't why on earth would it be the only thing he has left? His drinking is the solution to a problem you don't know about or understand, an insecurity or fear. He has to figure out what it is doing for him and learn to meet that need in another way.
Some Personal Notes: Addict's Brain (AB) ## Mental Gymnastics (AB rationalizes to fit the outcome that is always use use use) 1. Perception of control (AB says that there's control --> in order to use) 2. Uses Denial (AB comes up with reasons it's not a problem --> in order to use) AB says... *I can stop/quit whenever. *It's not a problem unless it affects my relationships/health/others. *I'm still productive. *It's not like I'm using everyday. 3. Uses Deal Making (brain says it's okay for this reason --> in order to use) AB: *It's just for fun. *I've been good, so I deserve it this time. *I'll stop after this. *It's the weekend, so it's fine. *It's with friends, so it's okay. *It's a special occasion. *It's my coping mechanism, or else I'll crash out. *(what other phrases does the AB say??)
"in order to use" definitely sums it up very, VERY well. Because of this, I believe that one of THE most important aspects of overcoming addictions (or any undesirable habit really) is to be completely honest with yourself; to recognize and accept that all these - as you call them - "mental gymnastics" are happening. Because only once you understand what is actually happening inside of you, you can really start to work through it.
Thank you Dr. K! Very helpful and great content. For me personally this kind of scientific knowledge and understanding has been really helpful, especially when I put together what I have learned with my faith and particulary opening up to God. Just wanted to share that ❤
Me too! Thinking back to how sneaky and tricky my mind was (and still is) at bending the rules, where it tries to convince me not only will it be okay, but in fact, is a good idea for my future self.
Thanks Dr. K, Current addict, instead of street drugs like it was 10 years ago, it manifestits in so many other ways. Uncontrolled eating, thinking my meds from the DR make me a addict again, many others, It's all so confusing. Appreciate any kind of video on addiction. I've had it for 27 years and do not yet understand.
Long time watcher and I’m sorry but the new editing style for these with the chopped up blurbs/teasers at the beginning and the abrupt break to very chopped up member pitch JUST when it’s about to get good totally takes me out of it and kind of messes up my focus and keeping the same train of thought for the whole video. Not sure if I’m the only one though.
Heard, thanks for the feedback - we are going to be switching up editing styles here and there as we determine what's best for as many of y'all as possible, so please keep sharing the feedback when you have it! 💚
When I started my journey with this channel 4 years ago I had a hard time sitting through information dense 42min video with minimal/no editing and they were acceptable only as background "podcast" on headphones for cleaning around the house/walks and I usually had to relisten lectures. I would love the experimental cut heavy style back then, as something like this used to catch back my attention - if now I don't feel like main target audience anymore, then my work around strenghtening frontal lobe to get more attention span looks to be working. ^^
Real as shit , I loved weed ever since a teen but it seems like everytime I over indulge for months at a time even if it’s only at night after work , I wake up like shit sleep like shit, vomit in the morning because of acid reflux an then I choose not to smoke an free ball life an physical work load all day just to get High at night enjoy it an then feel the same thing the next day , I’ve quit 3 times an this last time really taught me to enjoy what I have because I do have a gift of willpower an strength to connect me with others and be the light in the room instead of barely shining an being so closed to myself in the slump I was in , I pray all of you overcome the weaknesses in your lives , you are loved , an if you need to hear it , I’m proud you made it this far , you can only move forward brothers an sisters ❤️
The addiction workshop was really helpful. This video is a good reminder/review of what we learned over 10 hrs in the span of 2 days. I still remember the std confession story /example 😞 and with either outcomes of acceptance/rejection we can grow stronger 💪💯
one thing i've 100% learned about addiction over the years is that I've been gas lit a lot regarding my supposed addiction to video games. There are no withdraws if i take a break. I do not forgo self care to pursue video games. There isn't any detrimental impact on my life because of video games. People just see me say I play every day and freak out and assume its all my free time is occupied by. I also don't watch tv or movies, don't even have a cable or netflix subscription. I go out nearly every weekend to socialize face to face at card night at the local game shop or be with friends. And then the reaction to trying to explain more information? "oh that's just what an addict would say". Like how little dependence do you need regarding something for it to not be considered an addiction to people?
Yeah I completely understand this. I remember one of my sponsors used to say that no matter how much time you have under your belt that you know whatever is going on in your life things are going great you know you go to weddings you go to you go on trips you know you graduate you do stuff your addiction is just in the background saying yeah congratulations clapping all the while doing push-ups you know we're just ready to you know get a chance. Kind of like Andy Fife you know like from the that one show that deputy you know you know you got to re-arrest that that criminal that drunkard every morning you know and he gets released like every morning and you got to re-arrest them every morning. Or you can look at it as the white wolf and the black wolf inside you. People used to say the saying goes which wolf will win will win inside of you and they used to say the one you feed the most. But that's not how it goes. You must feed both equally, or give attention to most to both equally ( not condoning actively using but acknowledging that you have a disease and knowing your powerless over it) and you must treat them both at the same attention because of have you ever seen a starved apex predator, they are some of the most unpredictable some of the most fierce some of the most dangerous foes. Hunger and desperation will make you do a lot of things. For me it's like my inner dragon it's like my inner beast and he needs to be changed every day and he'll never go away he's part of me. He won't go away until I stop existing in this vessel
Weird thing to comment here but if someone outside of you ends a relationship, they did it because of the judgement formed within themselves regarding whatever reason they had. Like whether they left for the right or wrong reasons, they reason they left is still them. It's almost like taking the free will of the person who made the choice away. Like it makes more sense to say like..."You're the reason you got out of a relationship that wasn't good for you and im proud of that" than to say "it's their fault you left em bc they like video games too much"
I'm three weeks into qutting weed, and I already feel more productive and more clear-headed. I realized I had an addiction once I had to buy every week pretty much, which isn't cheap. I just overall realized I was using it to cope with my home life rather than using the skills I already learned in therapy. Weed made me more lazy honestly and now even just after three weeks I feel more productive, started going on walks again and now got a gym membership and started eating more healthy again, which helps a lot. Also, there is less anxiety as well since it made me waaay more anxious. I dont feel like I'm hiding a secret anymore, either. I plan on staying sober and not giving up because I have goals I want to achieve, and weed definitely won't help with it or just my overall my well-being and life.
For everyone wanting to quit Smoking: Nicorette gums actually are working for me to stop the cravings. I tried them yesterday for the first time in 15 years of smoking and they are pretty good. I was surprised myself and i recommend everyone giving them a try. They really are a great alternative to use for a bit and gradually decrease the use. I use the 2mg nicotine ones. They leave this weird sensation in your mouth, kindof like it gets a little numb and the act of chewing them is a really good replacement for holding a cigarette and puffing on it.
I quitted smoking twice, the fist time I got the flu and starting having problems to breath, I though I was going to die and the fear was too much to handle, so never again! Until 2 years later, in a party I took a drag and started again… it felt so forking good for solid 5 years more. Until I got asthma (cuz awful animal allergies) and again in an attack the fear was unbearable.. I couldn’t believe what I was doing to myself and then quit again. 6 years from that and I’m not risking it for a drag ever again. But is funded in pure fear. Now.. I have a real problem with sugar but that isn’t scary enough to quit so I need a different approach for this one. I have even think that maybe I just have an “addictive” personality, is like beat one, get another kind of thing.
My study into "abandonment" has led me to understand that the main abandonment issue is that: Sex is abandoned as a problem for most people, as well as that my family/grandmother(?) could not have been punished for what SHE did to ... find her "justice", and I became HER right hand man... without her understanding what she was doing I guess, because I should have broken societal codes a lot earlier. Still alive logic tho, so ... The point is, you are a family "freak" and you come out and you wanted how to explain YOUR FAMILIY struggle to the rest of the strugglers out there. And it hurts to have to compare wounds, it's really the mf worst. So a female likes you despite your nature, it's priceless, cause you don't like not being yourself, mostly. Cause people don't get it like she gets it. That's why. Happy New Year.
One of the issues with 12 step meetings is if you want to quit nicotine, it'll be extremely hard since almost everyone in those groups are smokers. A few ones I took patients to actively encouraged it.
Personally , last year on new years eve ive told myself ill not smoke. I stopped and the craving around christmas got so so big i cave in, but promising myself and telling my friend who smokes, that he will give me only 3, ill always smoke in awkward positions, and ill have to pay for a round of drinks each time. Bad thing i had money so payed for 3 rounds but since then i forgot completly about cigs, i know its only been 2 weeks but it feels easier, easier than the 1st year. What i want to say is, if you really really but really can not, try to wait 1 hour, then 1 day. If its been like this for 1 week and you are out of will power, dont completly blame yourself, try again, now with more experience but dont try to create more excuses. Currently fighting scrolling addiction, i need a video or music constantly in my ears when doing stuff otherwise ill not touch laundry, dishes, or anything else. I have tons of blocker but ive found the stupidest work arounds which also me finds a way to beat. I really want to be more present and create rather than consume.
I tell people that if I could do it again, knowing what I know, Im glad I went through alcoholism and recovery. I don’t have words to express how much better I love myself and my life now! I would never be here without the struggle I went through. ❤ AA is a cult by the way, I recovered despite AA being g forced down my throat!! I loved the community it offered in the first 3 months, but I didn’t want to be trapped in the despair of dependence the cycling through the 12 steps promotes. Hope that helps ❤
What really made me understand how my addiction works is in that ''addiction is the result of your environment'' bit. I believe that this is in reference to the studies where they studied addiction in mice or rats and put them in cages by themselves with food, water and an unlimited cocaine dispenser. The animals would neglect everything else and keep using the drug until it'd kill them which looks very scary, but the thing is that they could not replicate the results when the mice/rats were grouped together. When they had the ability to socialize and engage in normal behaviours, they would only hit the drug dispenser from time to time and keep going about their lives... (This is the gist of the experiment from my memory, don't quote me on this.)
Apparently for me addiction is about reppresing my emotions, and venting out on other forms. So, I'ts really about finding the right time to let go off emotions. We are a preatty emotionally bustling family. Never bored is the problem. Always something going on, going home, or completly alive. And for someone that's basically a writter, poet, artist, and others. Well, it becomes preatty hectic and emotionally dulling to feel such strong emotions. And they way I managed was to smoke cigarretes. Yes, i temporarily got addicted to coffee and debauchery. But, it was not worth it after about 2 years. So, i began contriving a plan against the solutions. So, now I have 99 problems, but an automatic drip, coffee machine isn't one anymore~sort-of-
Kinda reminds me of the thought of going through hell week. You have to keep in mind that it's one minute at a time. It can feel overwhelming if you think and worry about the future obstacles and mission. At least when your going through something like that.
Yeah bro there’s those moments where the idea to use just SPAWNS in your head at any random moment and what helps a lot for me is to NOT FOLLOW THE TRAIN OF THOUGHT. Think: okay I just thought about getting high again. And THEN MOVE ON with something in front of you IMMEDIATELY. if you start to think about how good it will feel or that it wouldn’t be that bad today or how you already failed by thinking about it and you might as well now… you aren’t free of it. But if you train yourself to have these thoughts and still hold the course, not have an emotional response to them, you can be free of the chains I swear and it makes normal life enough again. I wish you the best my brothers and sisters you can do it you will do it. ❤
Those of you who have had support when you reached out or found it might not believe it is true but for some of us, there are no safe spaces to go to. Every human we encounter, no matter how good they are otherwise, become absolute monsters with us. This includes therapists and doctors and social workers (actually, especially these people). So we cannot leave abusive situations. We will always be traumatised and will have to deal with all of it alone. I really wish someone would tell us how we're supposed to keep addiction in check. Especially when the 'substances' are legal like food and coffee. When we are living on bare minimum executive functioning. How are we supposed to overcome addiction?
I decided to try the coaching which he promotes in all of his videos. I scheduled a time slot about 2 weeks in advance. I was met with a no show from my coach. My disappointment in this channel and the coaching it offers is immeasurable at this moment.
Hi Dr. K! I wish your videos were subtitled to other languages without the automatic generation (it's usually okay but this is a sensitive topic that requires human translation). I would like to show your videos to my family and my partner, but some of them don't speak English :(
Why attention in most modern women have in their DMs/friend(male) requests/likes is not considered as addiction while watching Corn is considered a addiction.
Did y'all know the Porn Addiction Primer on our members site is actually free to everyone?! If that interests you and you haven't checked it out yet, come on over to members.healthygamer.gg/c/porn-addiction/!
Hey doctor k love you a lot. we need a detailed video on envy. How to handle that envious emotion basically a detailed and complete guide on this topic is missing in your channel. Envy could be from your sibling, relatives and how envy consumes us
I want to make myself addicted to productivity.
“Overcoming an addiction is not about being strong. It’s about putting in lots of hours in stupid shit that you don’t want to do.” Eg meetings, therapy, daily meditation, etc
I love this quote. Another banger from Dr. K 👌💣
unnus annus, unnus annus, unnus annus🗿
@ MEMENTO MORI
NEVER FORGET ✊
Meditation is meant to be somewhat enjoyable, ones that don't like their current style of choice should look for other to try.
@@UnusAnnus3 never forget brother, remember death
I would say it's an accurate quote, but at the same time, putting in a lot of hours doing things you don't want to do actually builds strength, resiliency, and discipline.
I've realized that watching 6 hours of online content a day and being restless and purposeless without it means it's a bonafide addiction, and i've been slowly working on it the past few months. This video helps a lot, if only with perspective. (but honestly probably a lot more)
Dang, thought it was just me.
deleting accounts and apps helped me
yeah, this idea that addiction is like a specific object with boundaries "this is an addiction, that is not an addiction" is just another human attempt at oversimplifying something to make it easier to hold in our mind. addiction in the clinical sense is really just attachment taken to an extreme that negatively affects your life but on a personal level, we have all kinds of variations of attachment to different behaviors, things, people, even thoughts. I'm happy for you that you are raising awareness in your life and cultivating a better one 🙏🏻
Thank you for these comments💕…
I've pulled back on my social media consumption because it was problematic for me. I've noticed the strange irony of getting support and compassion on one of the platforms that once consumed you. Anyway, that realisation of yours is really positive, good for you!
I look forward to watching this one. I have an addiction that is basically destroying my life, but since it only affects my mind, no one else around me can understand or relate (thankfully they don't have to). I come across as normal, while being eaten up inside. And it's amazing how therapists don't seem to get it either.
The more you keep to yourself, the more goes unnoticed into your subconcious and then nobody knows whats wrong. You'll uncover and resolve those if you tackle them on (so just sitting for an hour doing nothing without distraction), then you atleast get aware of them again but just keeping it to yourself completly will move you into the wrong direction continuesly
I'm really curious about what it is, do you mind sharing? It may validate not only how you feel to see other people understand, but it may validate others for seeing you mention it. Perhaps they are also battling with the same thing
Porn?
I feel this so much❤
Share or didnt happen 😉
"The brain is the most complicated piece of matter in the universe"
-Brain
The man's predicting what I want almost on a weekly basis.
Fr, it's scary
Synchronicity on the roll
I needed this. I've been sober for almost 2 years. I did all the things that you talked about, and even I went back to school. I'm actually a neuroscience major and doing really well, but I kind of slipped up over winter break because I told myself I deserved it. Fortunately nothing horrible happened, and everything's fine now, but yes, it can insidiously sneak back up on you like that and I see how important it is to remain vigilant, and for me, stay busy. I don't think about it when I'm studying. School is my top priority and science means so much more to me than using, but having over a month of free time with nothing to do kind of took me off guard. I have to remember what a tricky little fucker my nucleus accumbens is. Thanks
Just curious, how long did it take for neuroscience major? I really want to pursue it, but starting at 31 feels too late
@Holfus I'm still in school and I'm 40 so I'm old AF, but I had to do something drastic to change my life, just like he talks about in this video. It was science that helped me get better and that's what keeps me in line because I want it more than anything else. I'll complete undergrad in 3 years and plan on doing a PhD after that. Getting a neuro degree is really only worth it if you get a PhD. Science related PhD programs in the US pay a small yearly stipend to grad students in exchange for doing research. It's not much but it's enough to get by until you graduate with a phd, (which pays considerably more.) It makes sense for me because I was more than ready to leave my previous career. Also my son is grown so I don't have young kids or anything. The way I see it, it's never too late. Where would I be in 3 years, or 7 if I didn't do it? Doing same crap as before and living in regret. Fuck that. Ageism is a thing but I don't care. I've dealt with much worse in my life. It's also becoming much more common for people to go back to school later in life. If you really want it, don't let that stop you. Although I'm not planning in staying in academia myself, I like to remember: Francis Crick was a 37 yr old grad student when he helped discover DNA's double helix structure!
Hell yeah for getting past a hard moment. Keep at it 💪
This is great to read. I need to quit and I really want to go back to school, but I've always been afraid that I'm not smart enough or I'll relapse and ruin it.
@@johnnymatias3027 totally understand! my biggest fear is that I'm not smart enough. I'm still scared of that but I've started to realize it's not about how smart I am(because I'm really not), it's about how much work I put into it. My good grades are a direct result of how much I study. I think it's really important to have a reason, something that matters to you more than anything else to work towards.(it really helps to have something to keep you busy too) I don't hear that being talked about enough in recovery spaces. I would recommend getting a good stretch of clean time before making a commitment. Enough time to where you feel pretty good sober on a day-to-day basis. For me, that was about a year. I know that sounds like forever but it's really not in the grand scheme of things. Good things are very rarely immediate. They take time to accomplish whether it be sobriety, a degree, whatever. It's worth it though, and so are you! good luck 💚
I resonate with "addicts work the best on the smartest people". I don't mean to say I'm amazingly smart and my ego is inflated, but I tend to overthink. When I overthink, my brain comes up with new ways to weasel out of the things that I'm supposed to be doing. I wish I knew how to make an "impervious rule" like Dr. K suggests.
That reasonates with me. I've tried to download many apps to block my pc and smartphone, but every single time I find ways of bypassing it. I even learned a bit of programing and working with android system just to unlock my phone. In that time the mindset was like "if I can unlock it, I deserve it" or "If I can unlock it means this app is bad and I should look for another better perfect alternative".
Thing we wants to get rid of has access to our whole processing power. On the other side this same powers can be channeled to answear all that it drops on us, so there is a balance of sort, cause some tactics You can employ would've been too much for less inteligent people.
@@78alJ0vle Try to cut the velocity of the whole world. This will force you to be more social. Just kidding, the problem is you feel lonely and you need either followers or a master. We are social creatures we either follow or lead. Try to find people like you that stop each other from doing bad habits or doing it too much. This is the way.
@@Dolritto Ballance is a fool way. Do we have on the earth 50% herbivores and 50%carnivorese no? Do we have the same land mass and the same watevolumeym, no. SOme humans forget their origin, we are social not solitary. If you continue to be solitary you will do end up do bad habits cause you lonely, sad, tired and wahtever.
Your brains is overthink cause you are lonely and you live alone. If you are social you tend to do less overthink cause you share responsibility with other people.
I don't religiously watch Dr. K's videos or even his streams, but I stumbled across the "what happens when you quit caffeine" video and that (combined with several other things) led to me quitting cigarettes, THC, fast food, soda, and caffeine over the last six months. Caffeine was the last one, and I stopped about 4 days ago. I am so tired lol but I know I'll be better when I come out the other side. Thanks for everything you do!! I wish more psych professionals catered to specific types of cultures like this. I think I've broken my gaming addiction as well, but I still consider myself a part of that group.
Wow!
I'm just going to say, as a person with avoidant behaviour and a past videogame addiction who happened to reinstall a game yesterday evening after a really bad week, the passage about not bending the rules and the analogy to the poisonous gas hit like a truck.
Though this message will drown in a sea of others, know that I'm thankful for your videos and what you've done, Dr. K
Wish you luck, guys.
I needed to hear this breakdown of addict brain. Thanks Doc!
I really enjoyed the slower, quieter pace of the video. I didn’t enjoy the fast paced videos, felt too ADHD lol. This felt like the older dr k videos which I loved!
Perfect timing. 5 days without a drink. (after countless attempts for sobriety)...Several times I have used the excuse, "if I'm gonna drink in a year, that's going to make me more disappointed in myself than if I do it now.". Such an insane (in hindsight) form of SELF SABOTAGE. In the moment it seems logical and giving yourself the control of the outcome.
It's ironically true, because it's also the very thing that keeps you on the wagon. Once you're a year sober you start thinking "If I relapse now, it'll all be for nothing AND I'll be disappointed". Ime anyways. Hell some of my nightmares were about relapsing 😅
Even just quitting isn’t enough. You have to look deep within and ask why you drink. Then address those issues
@@alejandroc7357 right. Been in therapy for over 2 years lol
@@discopotato675 well what conclusions have you come to?
Why do you enjoy drinking?
My dad significantly got himself off alcohol by logging his intake weekly for a year. He was kind to himself. Quite inspiring to see. Hope it helps.
Recently, I downloaded my bank statements and summed up the expenses in Excel for weed consumption. In a 2-year period, I've spent about £2730 (about 3250 euro). I am definitely motivated to take a break - going for 30 days and re-evaluating then. Been getting high in the evenings almost daily...
I never dream. On day 1 of quitting, I had a fairly mild/forgettable dream, but was surprised at how fast it came back. Going to bed on 2 soon and I expect it may get more intense. I'm fighting a porn addiction too (which has been going on for very long time).
10 years clean from drugs and alcohol. Quit nicotine completely 6 years ago. Quit porn 4 months ago. Now the struggle is food...
Alcohol is actually one of the most harmful and hardest drugs out there!
I have a lot of respect for you! 🙂👍♥️
I am very addicted to kratom for at least 8 years now and it ruins my whole life. I am also addicted to DXM and while it helps a little bit with my depression it seems to destroy my brain! I hope i dont will get dementia! 😪
Way to go man. A good way to help your struggle with food is just have 2 large meals a day. Snacking/ mindless eating is not good. Get your body and mind adapted to 14+ hours of not eating.
@@commanderyeti3646I agree with this. Although, I usually go with one meal a day, as it's more effective and more satisfying.
Similar to the food I have an issue with overeating, super hard
@@loveistheanswer5924 i thought heroin was 🤨
I understand so much about my addictions watching this channel. The struggle is putting this into practice consistently.
thanks doc K for reviving our generation.
Y'all are the ones out here doing the hard work!
still appreciate it. I have learned more about myself than ever before and I think the same applies to many others..
@@habib-gn2hdhands down. This man’s work has eternally transformed my life. I will be forever grateful. Yes I’ve done the work, but he helped show me what work was possible.
Coming off abusing adderall (& combinations) for years; I'm now almost 3 years sober, & this video is great stuff
What the hell is wrong with Adderall? I’m staying on the same dosage. Is there some thing you need to tell us? I just started two months ago and it’s been fine for emotional regulation
Thank you so much, Dr. K. I’m not a gamer, but I’ve learned so much here.
If there’s one thing I’d like to share, it’s this: The power lies within us.
Calmness, peace, relaxation, and self-love-they are already a part of us, just as much as our fears, addictions, and weaknesses.
Sometimes, I feel like destroying all the phones. What are we really searching for in them?
Why am I even here again?
The truth is, there’s nothing out there that can truly fulfill us.
Everything we need has always been within us.
I’ve been without weed for about a month and last night I had the strongest urge to get high again. Glad this video popped up before I did anything
damn bro a month? my tweaking after stopping smoking (last binge was like 6 live resin carts in a month) was like 2 weeks
how long u been smoking?
proud of you!! you are better than i am, congrats, you already came a long way. best wishes to you!
Good luck man, I need to stop, and soon.
Congratulations! I was (am?) wake and bake and it stopped doing anything for me so I stopped. So far so good, but it’s only been a short while. Good luck!
I’ve been smoking once a day when I got home for maybe about a year now. The addiction hit quickly lmao. I pray you find the strength to get rid of all your carts and resin. Gets a lot easier that way
People say it‘s not real but I swear I‘m addicted to sugar
Yes you are, like most of us are! Btw it was the hardest to overcome for me when I tried to stop doing sugar - after having a nice healthy meal, at 3pm I would start thinking of chocolate and until I had a (whole) bar (or 2!) I couldn't think of anything else :( but I kept eating healthily until one afternoon I realised I wasn't craving for chocolate any longer! Now I can have a little square of chocolate when I feel like something sweet and feel satisfied, but it's not unconsciously incontrolable as I'm my early 20s
From what I learn, sometimes, we eat sugary things bcs we want to avoid certain feelings. Boredom, guilt, uneasiness, so on. Sugar tastes good, therefore we don't feel those uncomfortable feelings. And sometimes we also don't eat enough food that contains nutrients we need throughout the day (carbs, protein, fiber, etc), so the body craves sugar as instant source of energy. I find myself less cravey of sugar if I eat enough food and nutrients in the morning (protein and fiber especially), but my neurodivergent brain couldn't do it every morning tho, so there are many days that I failed
@catagecat not real? Children have been given sugary stuff since early days! I have many times referred to sugar as the cocaine for the poor. There's an excellent book that shows the history of sugar and how addictive it is called Sugar Blues by William Dufty. Highly recommend it!
I've heard of studies that show sugar is more addictive than cocaine, actually.
Certain synthetic sugars are the worst, about 1 year ago it was flavored lemonade waters so I replaced that with water and more natural sugars, sometimes a small splash of juice. Those lab engineered sugars are so sweet they make everything else taste dull and you kind of get a weird craving for it. I try to keep to salad, superfruits, omelette, oatmeal, and normal routine. I force myself to walk/run each day. Sugars get worse to avoid around the holidays we have chocolate, pies, and all sorts of bad habit food around.
Couldn’t thank you enough, Dr. K! Last year, you helped me get through my gaming urge & weed addiction. Your guesting at Mel Robbin’s podcast was the deal breaker for me to control myself from getting dopamine from excessive gaming. Since then, July last year, I haven’t played CODM, and I finally got my normal self back after quitting weed last quarter of the same year. It was a tough slippy sloppy process the entire year, being confused as to why I should stop and is weed really good or bad. And your contents gave me all the helpful informations for me to finally clicked, I’m really grateful for your works, they are truly masterpieces.
To the ones who are battling game addiction and other stuff, here are some that helped me get through them that might also work for you guys who are seeking for change.
1. Treat your body as an animal that is automatic. You gotta have to STARVE it if you’ve already realized that that something you’re into you is causing you troubles.
2. Embrace PAIN and SUFFERING during those starvation times. Soon, your body will get back to its natural state, where food is the only thing you need.
3. MOVE AROUND, get a dog that you will have to cater, bathe, and clean shit 💩 for. I have a toddler and a dog, and I’ve accepted that I am their servant, it’s a good way to think of it, though sometimes it could be really tiring. When the our body moves, it helps the brain with some chemical reactions happening in there lol.
4. FACE BOREDOM, you’ll soon find out what matters truly, just sit with your thoughts even if it’s painful. Develop a MUSCLE for BOREDOM. Remember that being alive and healthy today is the greatest gift one could have.
Genuinely feels impossible to quit it forever. I can go months without gambling, but one moment of weakness or arrogance and I’ve lost most of my money again
I'm giving up all of my bad habits overnight, a lot thanks to you Dr. K. I'll be documenting it on my channel and I'm hoping it can heal my shattered brain. Thanks for your inspo, cheers!
Loving these edits of the long streams. Lots of helpful teaching with wider accessibility. Thanks for this!
I quit smoking, i am quitting weed right now, and i will quit methadone. Step by step. The last year was really eye-opening for me. And it's the first time I'm positive, that I will stay clean!
I'm addicted to watching Dr K videos...
Thanks a lot, i am recovering alcohol addict (luckily lighter addiction) and this helped a lot.
Doing dry jan and its made me realize i drink because im bored a lot of the time. I struggled the first week, not because i was craving a drink, but because i felt directionless. Like i didnt know how to relax and move on without it. Its been a good few weeks, cycling after work and playing beatsaber really gets a lot of the same energy out and is much healthier.
I want to be a psychotherapist when I grow up, and your videos really help me to reflect and expand my horizons. Keep up the good work 😄
I just hope that the membership payment is cheaper, cuz 10 bucks a month is way to expensive for many students who want to enjoy your videos
" THINGS ARE ONLY HARD UNTIL YOU ADAPT ". .🔥🔥
Dr. K… thank you …. You explain things in a very true, simple , non-judgement way & in a happy way where it makes me think “ I can” actually get through this
Ironic how the whole dr K brand is keeping you glued to the screen watching his videos and streams and they do everything that all the big youtubers do to hijack your attention and keep you an addict. I used to be a fan but I know better now. Watching this guy for 100hrs < 10 mins of thinking and listening to yourself in silence on your own
Yeah… sort of feeling the same.
The whole thing is starting to loose its charm because it starts to feel like: “profit > people”
I even commented about my concerns about this and my comment got deleted
I value the dude’s thoughts but it gets really suspicious if they start to moderate feedback that hard
Don’t get me wrong - I still respect his opinion but I have a sense dude starts to lose being in touch with reality and the lives of everyday people.
I am happy he got successful - but at what cost?
There is a paywall to his coaching program and the guide - IDK, but like it seems that he lost being a community focused dude at some point and shifted to treating this as business.
I agree that the paywalls are kinda sus, but the whole point of this channel is that it “tricks” people into learning about mental health. If he didn’t use the attention grabbing tricks he wouldn’t have an audience. These videos have been huge for me and they’re really easy to share with my younger brothers for example, because it’s a familiar format to a lot of other streamers and youtubers
This guy is an absolute and literal lifesaver
Love the new editing style. You guys are a blessing
Glad you're liking it - we super appreciate the feedback! 💚
You posted this comment literally 2 minutes after the video went up. Are you the editor? The editing feels awful. Love Dr. K but this editing is like a headache being shaken up in a bottle.
If you lie for your addiction, this means society is shaming you for it and you accept the shame.
Last time I was this early my mom had to get a c section.
What's up gamers
i love how dr.k is so down to the earth and empathetic
Hey Dr K. I used to watch you alot. Not that I dislike you now or anything, but I just kinda stopped. But like EVERY SINGLE TIME you make a video about addiction, I watch it. I'd love like LOVE to see a series on how the various different kinds of substances influence how different your road to recovery is.
Thank you! This was a helpful dose of reality for me. I’m on day 4 of quitting nicotine cold turkey.
Well... You are not quitting anything. You are becoming a healthier person! Keep going!
Good luck on your journey!
Keep at it! You've got this.
I quit cigarettes cold turkey after smoking for over 30 years. I decided I was done. It took another 2 years to give up my 7 years of on and off meth use... As in on for 6 months, off for 4 months, rinse and repeat. Recalibration to (facing) who I am without the substance, rewiring my brain, walking away from losers, changing my environment, dealing with those dormant emotions, and a dedication to self care all starts with a decision. But each one of those things is a separate decision that builds on each other, like the legs of a stool. Knowing what was missing within myself, and some serious self talk in the mirror was key in waking away from, and outgrowing my meth addiction.
"The most insoluble problems cannot be cured, only outgrown." - Carl Jung
What do you mean with the Carl Jung Quote?
The hardest is giving up the friends..
It doesn't really work to tell them not to give me weed or nicotine when i'm with them. The thought of those addictions always seek into my conciousness by being around and seeing those substances.
How am i supposed the give up my only friends? Best friends...
It's a 50/50 decision which i'm pondering from side to side.
I understand, I've been in a similar situation before. The ideal scenario is that the group as a whole simultaneously commits to putting in the work to quit the addiction(s). However, since that is completely out of your control, you simply cannot bank on that. This is just my opinion/advice (from your perspective a complete stranger on the internet, so take it with a grain of salt), but if you want to quit without your friends quitting WITH you, you'll need to make new friends.
It's a good idea to start something new, look for some activity you could put your time in. Maybe it becomes your new environment, so you can change the environment.
Quiting best friends sounds impossible. Trying out some martial arts or whatever sounds fun.
@@MrPinkDino Yeah I agree that you can find other people who share your interests to spend more time with in person, but it also doesn't mean you need to burn bridges. If those older friends respect your wellbeing and desire to better yourself as a person, they'll respect your grind for a while from a distance (assuming you don't believe you can be around them using, and they will necessarily use). And in time, if you keep it up and demonstrate how your life has improved through your demeanor and your attitude, it will only serve to inspire them too. If the support isn't there, it will be easier to find entirely new friends anyhow.
tl;dr remind yourself that you can become a pillar of motivation for others who you care about, it will be easier to make sense of what you are doing in the interim.
Thank you for the courage and answers!
Thank you for this video, I have a couple of people in my inner circle who used to be addicted to different kind of substances and this video helped me understand better the work they had done in order to overcome their issues.
I know it's reductive, but often times we enjoy the chase rather than the actual end. The chase and anticipation is where the dopamine comes from. When I learned that, I worked hard to redirect that dopamine spike to other things. It helps kick an addiction, and it also helps get things done. How's that for killing two birds with one stone?
As someone who lives with an addict (and is an alcoholic).. I've heard him say this before. "My life is terrible without it, I'd rather die". Even reminding him this is temporary does nothing. He is extraordinarily smart, getting a PhD right now. Def hard to use logic on him.
He is right though, that IS how it feels, that is an addicts reality. If it wasn't why on earth would it be the only thing he has left? His drinking is the solution to a problem you don't know about or understand, an insecurity or fear. He has to figure out what it is doing for him and learn to meet that need in another way.
Some Personal Notes: Addict's Brain (AB)
## Mental Gymnastics (AB rationalizes to fit the outcome that is always use use use)
1. Perception of control (AB says that there's control --> in order to use)
2. Uses Denial (AB comes up with reasons it's not a problem --> in order to use)
AB says... *I can stop/quit whenever. *It's not a problem unless it affects my relationships/health/others. *I'm still productive. *It's not like I'm using everyday.
3. Uses Deal Making (brain says it's okay for this reason --> in order to use)
AB: *It's just for fun. *I've been good, so I deserve it this time. *I'll stop after this. *It's the weekend, so it's fine. *It's with friends, so it's okay. *It's a special occasion. *It's my coping mechanism, or else I'll crash out.
*(what other phrases does the AB say??)
"in order to use" definitely sums it up very, VERY well. Because of this, I believe that one of THE most important aspects of overcoming addictions (or any undesirable habit really) is to be completely honest with yourself; to recognize and accept that all these - as you call them - "mental gymnastics" are happening. Because only once you understand what is actually happening inside of you, you can really start to work through it.
My problem is picking the reward, I don't know what to reward myself with.
Give Thanks Doctah K!
One Love!
Always forward, never ever backward!!
☀️☀️☀️
💚💛❤️
🙏🏿🙏🙏🏼
Thank you Dr. K! Very helpful and great content.
For me personally this kind of scientific knowledge and understanding has been really helpful, especially when I put together what I have learned with my faith and particulary opening up to God.
Just wanted to share that ❤
Don't bend the rules is the hardest for me😕
Thank you so much again for your help.
Me too!
Thinking back to how sneaky and tricky my mind was (and still is) at bending the rules, where it tries to convince me not only will it be okay, but in fact, is a good idea for my future self.
@felix4790 Yes exactly!!
4:11 - 😧 and I shattered.
Well, not only do I NOT want counselling (terrible opsec) but I also just can’t afford it.
Thanks Dr. K, Current addict, instead of street drugs like it was 10 years ago, it manifestits in so many other ways. Uncontrolled eating, thinking my meds from the DR make me a addict again, many others, It's all so confusing. Appreciate any kind of video on addiction. I've had it for 27 years and do not yet understand.
Long time watcher and I’m sorry but the new editing style for these with the chopped up blurbs/teasers at the beginning and the abrupt break to very chopped up member pitch JUST when it’s about to get good totally takes me out of it and kind of messes up my focus and keeping the same train of thought for the whole video. Not sure if I’m the only one though.
Heard, thanks for the feedback - we are going to be switching up editing styles here and there as we determine what's best for as many of y'all as possible, so please keep sharing the feedback when you have it! 💚
Agree
Agree
When I started my journey with this channel 4 years ago I had a hard time sitting through information dense 42min video with minimal/no editing and they were acceptable only as background "podcast" on headphones for cleaning around the house/walks and I usually had to relisten lectures.
I would love the experimental cut heavy style back then, as something like this used to catch back my attention - if now I don't feel like main target audience anymore, then my work around strenghtening frontal lobe to get more attention span looks to be working. ^^
You just got mad because you were depleted of dopamine.
Its so hard tho to just "change your life", taking the step out from the things you know and keeping your life that way takes incredible strength.
I love how positive you are this change will change someone’s life for the best. Best of luck out here Gamers!
Real as shit , I loved weed ever since a teen but it seems like everytime I over indulge for months at a time even if it’s only at night after work , I wake up like shit sleep like shit, vomit in the morning because of acid reflux an then I choose not to smoke an free ball life an physical work load all day just to get High at night enjoy it an then feel the same thing the next day , I’ve quit 3 times an this last time really taught me to enjoy what I have because I do have a gift of willpower an strength to connect me with others and be the light in the room instead of barely shining an being so closed to myself in the slump I was in , I pray all of you overcome the weaknesses in your lives , you are loved , an if you need to hear it , I’m proud you made it this far , you can only move forward brothers an sisters ❤️
The addiction workshop was really helpful.
This video is a good reminder/review of what we learned over 10 hrs in the span of 2 days.
I still remember the std confession story /example 😞 and with either outcomes of acceptance/rejection we can grow stronger 💪💯
Glad you got something out of it! 💚
one thing i've 100% learned about addiction over the years is that I've been gas lit a lot regarding my supposed addiction to video games. There are no withdraws if i take a break. I do not forgo self care to pursue video games. There isn't any detrimental impact on my life because of video games. People just see me say I play every day and freak out and assume its all my free time is occupied by. I also don't watch tv or movies, don't even have a cable or netflix subscription. I go out nearly every weekend to socialize face to face at card night at the local game shop or be with friends.
And then the reaction to trying to explain more information? "oh that's just what an addict would say". Like how little dependence do you need regarding something for it to not be considered an addiction to people?
Dr K I am addicted to watching your videos,what do I do?
Start applying them
Love the spotter in the gym analogy
I think you mean: "The proccess is the problem"
What a helpful video Dr. K. Thank you!
the recognition of strong man fantasy helped me a lot i realized every time life gets hard i go to addiction
Yeah I completely understand this. I remember one of my sponsors used to say that no matter how much time you have under your belt that you know whatever is going on in your life things are going great you know you go to weddings you go to you go on trips you know you graduate you do stuff your addiction is just in the background saying yeah congratulations clapping all the while doing push-ups you know we're just ready to you know get a chance. Kind of like Andy Fife you know like from the that one show that deputy you know you know you got to re-arrest that that criminal that drunkard every morning you know and he gets released like every morning and you got to re-arrest them every morning. Or you can look at it as the white wolf and the black wolf inside you. People used to say the saying goes which wolf will win will win inside of you and they used to say the one you feed the most. But that's not how it goes. You must feed both equally, or give attention to most to both equally ( not condoning actively using but acknowledging that you have a disease and knowing your powerless over it) and you must treat them both at the same attention because of have you ever seen a starved apex predator, they are some of the most unpredictable some of the most fierce some of the most dangerous foes. Hunger and desperation will make you do a lot of things. For me it's like my inner dragon it's like my inner beast and he needs to be changed every day and he'll never go away he's part of me. He won't go away until I stop existing in this vessel
I love this so much really starting to love my self day by day
Weird thing to comment here but if someone outside of you ends a relationship, they did it because of the judgement formed within themselves regarding whatever reason they had. Like whether they left for the right or wrong reasons, they reason they left is still them. It's almost like taking the free will of the person who made the choice away. Like it makes more sense to say like..."You're the reason you got out of a relationship that wasn't good for you and im proud of that" than to say "it's their fault you left em bc they like video games too much"
You sounded a little under the weather today! Hope you take good care of yourself.
But thank you for the great video. :)
2:53 - chat, we might be cooked.
LETS GOOOO NEW UPLOAD AND NEW STREAM VOD
I'm three weeks into qutting weed, and I already feel more productive and more clear-headed. I realized I had an addiction once I had to buy every week pretty much, which isn't cheap.
I just overall realized I was using it to cope with my home life rather than using the skills I already learned in therapy. Weed made me more lazy honestly and now even just after three weeks I feel more productive, started going on walks again and now got a gym membership and started eating more healthy again, which helps a lot. Also, there is less anxiety as well since it made me waaay more anxious. I dont feel like I'm hiding a secret anymore, either. I plan on staying sober and not giving up because I have goals I want to achieve, and weed definitely won't help with it or just my overall my well-being and life.
I bet you I have a stubborn pride in me somewhere, but I can’t put it to words yet. Good video.
Great work, I'll try to put this in to practice
For everyone wanting to quit Smoking: Nicorette gums actually are working for me to stop the cravings. I tried them yesterday for the first time in 15 years of smoking and they are pretty good.
I was surprised myself and i recommend everyone giving them a try. They really are a great alternative to use for a bit and gradually decrease the use. I use the 2mg nicotine ones.
They leave this weird sensation in your mouth, kindof like it gets a little numb and the act of chewing them is a really good replacement for holding a cigarette and puffing on it.
🎉🎊Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all Orthodox Christians ☀🙏✝🕊🦾😘
🙏GOD BE WITH US AGAINST EVIL AND TEMPTATIONS 💪💍👩❤👨❤
I almost feel this way about food right now. It’s hard to cut a sugar out of the diet. Great video!
I quitted smoking twice, the fist time I got the flu and starting having problems to breath, I though I was going to die and the fear was too much to handle, so never again!
Until 2 years later, in a party I took a drag and started again… it felt so forking good for solid 5 years more.
Until I got asthma (cuz awful animal allergies) and again in an attack the fear was unbearable.. I couldn’t believe what I was doing to myself and then quit again. 6 years from that and I’m not risking it for a drag ever again. But is funded in pure fear.
Now.. I have a real problem with sugar but that isn’t scary enough to quit so I need a different approach for this one.
I have even think that maybe I just have an “addictive” personality, is like beat one, get another kind of thing.
My study into "abandonment" has led me to understand that the main abandonment issue is that: Sex is abandoned as a problem for most people, as well as that my family/grandmother(?) could not have been punished for what SHE did to ... find her "justice", and I became HER right hand man... without her understanding what she was doing I guess, because I should have broken societal codes a lot earlier. Still alive logic tho, so ...
The point is, you are a family "freak" and you come out and you wanted how to explain YOUR FAMILIY struggle to the rest of the strugglers out there. And it hurts to have to compare wounds, it's really the mf worst. So a female likes you despite your nature, it's priceless, cause you don't like not being yourself, mostly. Cause people don't get it like she gets it. That's why.
Happy New Year.
One of the issues with 12 step meetings is if you want to quit nicotine, it'll be extremely hard since almost everyone in those groups are smokers. A few ones I took patients to actively encouraged it.
Personally , last year on new years eve ive told myself ill not smoke. I stopped and the craving around christmas got so so big i cave in, but promising myself and telling my friend who smokes, that he will give me only 3, ill always smoke in awkward positions, and ill have to pay for a round of drinks each time. Bad thing i had money so payed for 3 rounds but since then i forgot completly about cigs, i know its only been 2 weeks but it feels easier, easier than the 1st year. What i want to say is, if you really really but really can not, try to wait 1 hour, then 1 day. If its been like this for 1 week and you are out of will power, dont completly blame yourself, try again, now with more experience but dont try to create more excuses. Currently fighting scrolling addiction, i need a video or music constantly in my ears when doing stuff otherwise ill not touch laundry, dishes, or anything else. I have tons of blocker but ive found the stupidest work arounds which also me finds a way to beat. I really want to be more present and create rather than consume.
great and fascinating video, thanks! 💙
And I can boild it a bit into an essential amino acid. I fell in love with the taste for it.
I tell people that if I could do it again, knowing what I know, Im glad I went through alcoholism and recovery. I don’t have words to express how much better I love myself and my life now! I would never be here without the struggle I went through. ❤
AA is a cult by the way, I recovered despite AA being g forced down my throat!! I loved the community it offered in the first 3 months, but I didn’t want to be trapped in the despair of dependence the cycling through the 12 steps promotes. Hope that helps ❤
Honestly, the best environment for me. Is one where I can live without having to engage with others.
For me the main message of this explanation is - you can't beat your addiction, you need to fabricate your life without it
What really made me understand how my addiction works is in that ''addiction is the result of your environment'' bit. I believe that this is in reference to the studies where they studied addiction in mice or rats and put them in cages by themselves with food, water and an unlimited cocaine dispenser. The animals would neglect everything else and keep using the drug until it'd kill them which looks very scary, but the thing is that they could not replicate the results when the mice/rats were grouped together. When they had the ability to socialize and engage in normal behaviours, they would only hit the drug dispenser from time to time and keep going about their lives... (This is the gist of the experiment from my memory, don't quote me on this.)
Apparently for me addiction is about reppresing my emotions, and venting out on other forms. So, I'ts really about finding the right time to let go off emotions. We are a preatty emotionally bustling family. Never bored is the problem. Always something going on, going home, or completly alive. And for someone that's basically a writter, poet, artist, and others. Well, it becomes preatty hectic and emotionally dulling to feel such strong emotions. And they way I managed was to smoke cigarretes. Yes, i temporarily got addicted to coffee and debauchery. But, it was not worth it after about 2 years. So, i began contriving a plan against the solutions. So, now I have 99 problems, but an automatic drip, coffee machine isn't one anymore~sort-of-
Kinda reminds me of the thought of going through hell week. You have to keep in mind that it's one minute at a time. It can feel overwhelming if you think and worry about the future obstacles and mission. At least when your going through something like that.
Y'all at HealthyGamerGG are doing an amazing job! I appreciate it!
Yeah bro there’s those moments where the idea to use just SPAWNS in your head at any random moment and what helps a lot for me is to NOT FOLLOW THE TRAIN OF THOUGHT.
Think: okay I just thought about getting high again. And THEN MOVE ON with something in front of you IMMEDIATELY.
if you start to think about how good it will feel or that it wouldn’t be that bad today or how you already failed by thinking about it and you might as well now… you aren’t free of it. But if you train yourself to have these thoughts and still hold the course, not have an emotional response to them, you can be free of the chains I swear and it makes normal life enough again.
I wish you the best my brothers and sisters you can do it you will do it. ❤
For me quitting game addiction was pretty much just quitting playing cod.
Those of you who have had support when you reached out or found it might not believe it is true but for some of us, there are no safe spaces to go to. Every human we encounter, no matter how good they are otherwise, become absolute monsters with us. This includes therapists and doctors and social workers (actually, especially these people). So we cannot leave abusive situations. We will always be traumatised and will have to deal with all of it alone. I really wish someone would tell us how we're supposed to keep addiction in check. Especially when the 'substances' are legal like food and coffee. When we are living on bare minimum executive functioning. How are we supposed to overcome addiction?
This is so great!
You might not value honesty in addicts, but I value my words enough.
I decided to try the coaching which he promotes in all of his videos. I scheduled a time slot about 2 weeks in advance. I was met with a no show from my coach. My disappointment in this channel and the coaching it offers is immeasurable at this moment.
I used for 7 years now clean for almost 4, hardest thing of my life, I still don't go a day where using doesn't at least cross my mind
Hi Dr. K! I wish your videos were subtitled to other languages without the automatic generation (it's usually okay but this is a sensitive topic that requires human translation). I would like to show your videos to my family and my partner, but some of them don't speak English :(
Why attention in most modern women have in their DMs/friend(male) requests/likes is not considered as addiction while watching Corn is considered a addiction.
read your comment again and simplify it.
I overcome my addictions all the time DR K, the issue is that I keep finding different ones.
Video starts at 1:45. The new editing style is shit and will not lead to more viewers or members.
You good?
@@legitgingerxz Are you?
The intro to this video gives me “if you wish to make and apple pie from scratch, first you must invent the universe” vibes