Our break up was based on the fact that I had a lot going on in my life outside of our relationship, and it made me depressed and I neglected our relationship…having said that, the connection we had in every way was wonderful. That’s why she lingers, and I cling. I’ve always felt our breakup was wrong, and I know that my going into no contact for 3 months was a big reason she began reaching out, and has continued to this day. It’s been more so lately, and its because the emotional connection is being renewed. We were great together, and I think she’s realizing what we had was pretty special.
No contact is a great tool for short term, appropriate use. But I cant believe how many dating coaches have made a living off of just saying two words and applying them to everything. I mean of all the people who've got back with their ex, how many do you think were doing no contact for long stretches of time? I'd guess very few! I just don't see how you can have a relationship with potential and problems and pretend like those problems disappear because you went silent. It's not the way to work through anything and I think it's harming more people than it's helping.
@@mustardtigerbaaaaaam if they dumped you chances are they won't miss you, and if they do you've put 0 effort into resolution. It pushes them away further. You think doing nothing gets the prize? It doesn't, not for people of value.
Clay, we were together for 5 years. Had a great relationship. I went NC and improved myself and she noticed, she asked for a second chance, basically begged and said the reasons she gave for leaving were lies and she still loved me. Then she backed away again, took my second chance for granted.
I'm screwed he is stubborn and we agreed for friends for NOW but I did tell him we build from there but takung it slow. He is tough as nails. We did have a great connection one day when he came back (positive pull back) as clay would say.
What do you do when you're a DJ and she breaks up with you because she hallucinates and thinks you're cheating by looking at other girls and so here we are years later, trying to be friends and she comes up to your work and flirts with 2 other guys she says she wasn't interested in and then slow dances to our song with one of them?
hi clay what if my ex blocked me on social media what must i do to build up emotional connection to my ex... me and my ex are co workers we broke up a month ago... she is seeing someone but i don't know if they are officially in a relationship now
I’m worried no contact might’ve messed up my chances.. it’s only been 2 months so nothing massive but i do believe I shouldn’t have listened to other coaches
Hi Mad, there are instances that we can do full Active No Contact or Limited Active No Contact. That really depends on the present dynamics between you and your ex. if you have checked our Ex Solution Program course ( www.modernlove.life/esp ), doing ANC is not just about disappearing from your ex, but it is about focusing your time and energy towards your own self to work on your well-being and become a better version of your self. :-)
Hi my ex broke up with a month a go now, were together for 10 years and have a 4yr old together. We had a great relationship until the past 6 months or so. Anyway I don't want to make it too long so I'm not going to go into everything but main things were we'd lost the spark, we didn't make eachother happy anymore and he couldn't have other people's happiness relying on him, he was stressed and busy with his business (opened his own pub 2 years ago), we never went out because of this. He made me a stay at home mum when he first opened and as time went on I realised it wasn't for me but I felt I had to keep doing it to help him. I've realised over the last 2 weeks that I did become too dependent on him and I wasn't happy with myself personally and it was showing, I lost who I was and I'm working on things to get myself back. I'm doing limited contact obviously because of our young daughter and so see him from time to time aswel. I'm just wondering should I tell him about what I've realised so it takes the pressure off a little and we both start to heal and come back from this together or should I carry on just giving him his space a little bit longer? Something inside keeps saying to tell him but I'm scared to push him further away
@clay Hello. My ex is pulling away after we reconnected and we have been sexually intimate. She is more and more distant and hesitant to talk to me and it's hard to build emotional connection and intimacy. I am having a hard time and need help. I dropped the romantic pressure but she is very stubborn and doesn't initiate at all. It has 2 1/2 months since reconnecting and we were in no contact for 6 months.
If you're actively engaged in practicing Advanced Relational Skills and improving your Way Of Being, you should feel comfortable breaking it when you believe you can have a stronger emotional connection with your ex.
I get it but I’m scared to reach out, done NC for a while but we’ve recently met twice in person but now I’m not sure to reach out or see if she will Help?
Me and my ex have been on 2 dates so far this month. Have been broken up since 2017. I just took the time to work on myself but i atleast feel since we have a 3rd date setup it atleast shows something might be possible
Try to identify your goals first in doing the program, like what are the things that you are hoping to achieve (aside from the ultimate goal of getting back together). Then you can check our link www.modernlove.life/store to see if your goals matches one of our programs. :-)
Hi Clay, I'm at an interesting fork in the road which u do not discuss in ur videos. About a week ago, my ex told me thru a very long discussion that he would do anything for me and that he wanted to do anything to make me happy. He said that he broke up with me because at the time, he had to do what was right for him. Needless to say, the conversation stopped at this, as we became intimate. About a week later, I chose to mention it to him and he denied saying it to me...he said he didn't remember because we had been drinking a bit. He said that it wasn't the reason that we broke up and he said that when he makes up his mind, he doesn't go back on it. He said that it woyld end the same way. I had told him that he himself had commented on the way that I had changed and that I realized that our relationship had to be different because it didn't work the first time. I had felt that we were getting to the crisis point, but maybe we were still riding the dragon. I have purchased a few of ur courses and this has never been an option that has come up. I would really like some advice. He hasn't kicked me out of his life, but I find it a bizarre hot and cold behaviour. I'm sure, I'm not the only person that has experienced this. Any advice would be appreciated and I'm sure a couple of videos on this woyld be highly appreciated by others as well. Looking forward to ur feedback! Thank u!
I have been in No contact for 56days....n my ex just reached out yesterday n we spoke for some time....But then I don't know what to do next..Do I reach out to them aswel?..... what do I do at this stage?
As long as you have worked on the basic foundation of the Advanced Relational Skills, it will help you to connect with the person naturally. Have you checked our Ex Solution Program course? It covers the Advanced Relational Skills lesson, especially communication skills.
hey clay! the situation with my ex and I is extremely confusing and I just feel I can’t find a clear answer anywhere. Long story short, I was the one at fault for the breakup (I shared a drunk kiss with another man and he found out) and my ex inevitably ended things with me. this happened about 2 months ago but my ex has remained in constant contact with me since. he texts me everyday almost all day, asks about my day and how i’m doing, what i’m up to, etc. he genuinely cares and puts in the effort to keep me in his life. we met for coffee last week (he initiated the meet up) and it was really great. he gave direct eye contact, body positioned towards me, smiled and laughed the entire time, kept inching towards me, just standard body language that indicates someone’s interested. at the end of coffee, he said it was great to see me and we should do it again sometime. He carries himself like he is interested but every time I bring the possibility of starting over up he completely shuts it down and says he is keeping in contact with me because i’m a “good friend.” he says he doesn’t see us being together in the future because he isn’t sure he can ever trust me. we were together for two years and shared A LOT of memories together so I just don’t know if he genuinely is done and JUST wants to remain friends or if he is still hurting from the circumstances of the breakup and wants to keep me close while he figures it out. he’s told me to “move on because i’m just going to hurt myself being stuck on him” but i’ve remained very serious in waiting and haven’t seen anyone despite his comments. is that just an emotional test or does he truly mean these things he is saying? sorry this is so long… I am just so confused! Any help would be appreciated… thanks!!
Helped in the sense of our relationship is much stronger & I in particular had time to work on myself and figure out why I felt I needed outside attention.
@@guardianangel222-v2t Also! Looking into psychology and different attachment styles may be good for you too! It may help gain insight to your partners as well so you guys can better understand each other’s needs.
Is me offering to come over to help her with her panic attack and talking and sharing music moth each other a huge emotional? She even said thanks your the only one who gets me....
There is nothing wrong supporting someone during those instances. But we would still recommend for her to seek professional help so proper intervention will be provided for her panic attacks. :-)
![Lil Uzi Vert - Chill Bae [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/D7F42F_JM3U/mqdefault.jpg)
Hey guys, I can't remember... What was the most important thing to focus on?
State of being, which will contribute to the emotional connection 🙌
Hi clay, if you think there is something that could make a big difference to our cause could you please share it with us?? Cheers!
Our break up was based on the fact that I had a lot going on in my life outside of our relationship, and it made me depressed and I neglected our relationship…having said that, the connection we had in every way was wonderful. That’s why she lingers, and I cling. I’ve always felt our breakup was wrong, and I know that my going into no contact for 3 months was a big reason she began reaching out, and has continued to this day. It’s been more so lately, and its because the emotional connection is being renewed. We were great together, and I think she’s realizing what we had was pretty special.
It's all gravy... Until you discover the rebound is a master at building emotional connection
Lmao
By now I'm quite convinced that the most important thing is the quality of the emotional connection :)
No contact is a great tool for short term, appropriate use. But I cant believe how many dating coaches have made a living off of just saying two words and applying them to everything. I mean of all the people who've got back with their ex, how many do you think were doing no contact for long stretches of time? I'd guess very few! I just don't see how you can have a relationship with potential and problems and pretend like those problems disappear because you went silent. It's not the way to work through anything and I think it's harming more people than it's helping.
You talk to them when they start to miss you and if they don’t let em go
@@mustardtigerbaaaaaam if they dumped you chances are they won't miss you, and if they do you've put 0 effort into resolution. It pushes them away further. You think doing nothing gets the prize? It doesn't, not for people of value.
The most important thing is the quality of the emotional connection
Clay, we were together for 5 years. Had a great relationship. I went NC and improved myself and she noticed, she asked for a second chance, basically begged and said the reasons she gave for leaving were lies and she still loved me. Then she backed away again, took my second chance for granted.
I'm screwed he is stubborn and we agreed for friends for NOW but I did tell him we build from there but takung it slow. He is tough as nails. We did have a great connection one day when he came back (positive pull back) as clay would say.
Great video from clay, once again fantastic
Thanks again!
What do you do when you're a DJ and she breaks up with you because she hallucinates and thinks you're cheating by looking at other girls and so here we are years later, trying to be friends and she comes up to your work and flirts with 2 other guys she says she wasn't interested in and then slow dances to our song with one of them?
Aslo what do you do when it wakes you up in the middle f the night, 2AM last, 4AM tonight..
How did it go?
It's been 2 years im 58 he 58 he alone now. He left me for a 23 year old girl. Now he alone again. I want him back. What should i do
hi clay what if my ex blocked me on social media what must i do to build up emotional connection to my ex... me and my ex are co workers we broke up a month ago... she is seeing someone but i don't know if they are officially in a relationship now
I’m worried no contact might’ve messed up my chances.. it’s only been 2 months so nothing massive but i do believe I shouldn’t have listened to other coaches
Hi Mad, there are instances that we can do full Active No Contact or Limited Active No Contact. That really depends on the present dynamics between you and your ex. if you have checked our Ex Solution Program course ( www.modernlove.life/esp ), doing ANC is not just about disappearing from your ex, but it is about focusing your time and energy towards your own self to work on your well-being and become a better version of your self. :-)
Clay Andrews that actually helps ease my mind! Thanks heaps Clay
Hi my ex broke up with a month a go now, were together for 10 years and have a 4yr old together. We had a great relationship until the past 6 months or so.
Anyway I don't want to make it too long so I'm not going to go into everything but main things were we'd lost the spark, we didn't make eachother happy anymore and he couldn't have other people's happiness relying on him, he was stressed and busy with his business (opened his own pub 2 years ago), we never went out because of this. He made me a stay at home mum when he first opened and as time went on I realised it wasn't for me but I felt I had to keep doing it to help him.
I've realised over the last 2 weeks that I did become too dependent on him and I wasn't happy with myself personally and it was showing, I lost who I was and I'm working on things to get myself back.
I'm doing limited contact obviously because of our young daughter and so see him from time to time aswel.
I'm just wondering should I tell him about what I've realised so it takes the pressure off a little and we both start to heal and come back from this together or should I carry on just giving him his space a little bit longer?
Something inside keeps saying to tell him but I'm scared to push him further away
@clay Hello. My ex is pulling away after we reconnected and we have been sexually intimate. She is more and more distant and hesitant to talk to me and it's hard to build emotional connection and intimacy. I am having a hard time and need help. I dropped the romantic pressure but she is very stubborn and doesn't initiate at all. It has 2 1/2 months since reconnecting and we were in no contact for 6 months.
How did it all go Amir?
NGL Clay you should really advise on how long active no contact should really last
If you're actively engaged in practicing Advanced Relational Skills and improving your Way Of Being, you should feel comfortable breaking it when you believe you can have a stronger emotional connection with your ex.
I get it but I’m scared to reach out, done NC for a while but we’ve recently met twice in person but now I’m not sure to reach out or see if she will
Help?
Great video!
Glad you enjoyed it
Me and my ex have been on 2 dates so far this month. Have been broken up since 2017. I just took the time to work on myself but i atleast feel since we have a 3rd date setup it atleast shows something might be possible
What is the best program to sign up for to get my ex back
Try to identify your goals first in doing the program, like what are the things that you are hoping to achieve (aside from the ultimate goal of getting back together). Then you can check our link www.modernlove.life/store to see if your goals matches one of our programs. :-)
Hi Clay, I'm at an interesting fork in the road which u do not discuss in ur videos. About a week ago, my ex told me thru a very long discussion that he would do anything for me and that he wanted to do anything to make me happy. He said that he broke up with me because at the time, he had to do what was right for him. Needless to say, the conversation stopped at this, as we became intimate. About a week later, I chose to mention it to him and he denied saying it to me...he said he didn't remember because we had been drinking a bit. He said that it wasn't the reason that we broke up and he said that when he makes up his mind, he doesn't go back on it. He said that it woyld end the same way. I had told him that he himself had commented on the way that I had changed and that I realized that our relationship had to be different because it didn't work the first time. I had felt that we were getting to the crisis point, but maybe we were still riding the dragon. I have purchased a few of ur courses and this has never been an option that has come up. I would really like some advice. He hasn't kicked me out of his life, but I find it a bizarre hot and cold behaviour. I'm sure, I'm not the only person that has experienced this. Any advice would be appreciated and I'm sure a couple of videos on this woyld be highly appreciated by others as well. Looking forward to ur feedback! Thank u!
I have been in No contact for 56days....n my ex just reached out yesterday n we spoke for some time....But then I don't know what to do next..Do I reach out to them aswel?..... what do I do at this stage?
You dont get her back. You acknowledge that she/he/they is and has always been your true love, no matter what happens.
I'm having difficulty forming an emotional connection :(
As long as you have worked on the basic foundation of the Advanced Relational Skills, it will help you to connect with the person naturally. Have you checked our Ex Solution Program course? It covers the Advanced Relational Skills lesson, especially communication skills.
7:56 video not showing up lol
I break up my ex boyfriend because he cheated on me because he with someone eles happy in relationship
Not attracted is a lie...
hey clay! the situation with my ex and I is extremely confusing and I just feel I can’t find a clear answer anywhere. Long story short, I was the one at fault for the breakup (I shared a drunk kiss with another man and he found out) and my ex inevitably ended things with me. this happened about 2 months ago but my ex has remained in constant contact with me since. he texts me everyday almost all day, asks about my day and how i’m doing, what i’m up to, etc. he genuinely cares and puts in the effort to keep me in his life. we met for coffee last week (he initiated the meet up) and it was really great. he gave direct eye contact, body positioned towards me, smiled and laughed the entire time, kept inching towards me, just standard body language that indicates someone’s interested. at the end of coffee, he said it was great to see me and we should do it again sometime. He carries himself like he is interested but every time I bring the possibility of starting over up he completely shuts it down and says he is keeping in contact with me because i’m a “good friend.” he says he doesn’t see us being together in the future because he isn’t sure he can ever trust me. we were together for two years and shared A LOT of memories together so I just don’t know if he genuinely is done and JUST wants to remain friends or if he is still hurting from the circumstances of the breakup and wants to keep me close while he figures it out. he’s told me to “move on because i’m just going to hurt myself being stuck on him” but i’ve remained very serious in waiting and haven’t seen anyone despite his comments. is that just an emotional test or does he truly mean these things he is saying? sorry this is so long… I am just so confused! Any help would be appreciated… thanks!!
@@guardianangel222-v2t Yeah actually we’re back together!! It took from March-January of the next year but all was worth it. Really helped us actually
Helped in the sense of our relationship is much stronger & I in particular had time to work on myself and figure out why I felt I needed outside attention.
@@guardianangel222-v2t Also! Looking into psychology and different attachment styles may be good for you too! It may help gain insight to your partners as well so you guys can better understand each other’s needs.
Is me offering to come over to help her with her panic attack and talking and sharing music moth each other a huge emotional? She even said thanks your the only one who gets me....
There is nothing wrong supporting someone during those instances. But we would still recommend for her to seek professional help so proper intervention will be provided for her panic attacks. :-)
@@ClayAndrews for sure and I told her that! I said I’m not therapist or counselor so you let me know if you need help getting help!
BS. So many things, alignment? Connection? Science, too many variables.