they also Hide hoping that you won’t find out, and if it doesn’t work out with them, they’ll come back to you and tell you that they haven’t been with anyone and all they wanted was you hoping you believe them
"I could say I'm sorry, but you know I don't mean it. I could say I have a bad conscience, but you know I dont" .. is what he said after he admitted he had cheated for the n'th time. And after lying and manipulating his way through a break up of family and 20 year relationship, so that it looked like we mutually just "grew apart". He moved in with new supply after a month. Replaced me like I was nothing. I will never get closure. Radical acceptance is the only path.
@@caroleminke6116 o yes, I am very grateful. Actually glad she came along. Not sure if he would have left if not. It hurt bad, but I do see the positives now. He also stepped up his dad game slightly to show of, and thats good for the Kids.
There are more reasons why a narc might decide to hide the new supply besides wanting to mess with your head. Others may include one or a combination of: - A downgrade they're not too keen to advertise. - Messing with the new supply's head. - Preserving their image so others don't raise an eyebrow at the speed of replacement. - Fear that you will alert the new supply with what you know. - Hiding the new supply from other new supplies. - Etc.
It’s not my fault that’s he’s leaving and treating me like this. I’ve been good to him and the new supply is not better than me. She’s easier to manipulate, young, naive, and willing to do whatever sexually.
They can't love because they hate themselves! You're there to be their ATM card and an amotional punching bag, including physical depending on the narc!
First it comes out as trying to make you jealous but, they don't stay long narcissists can't stand monogamy so when you see them don't take it personally she's just a number not a name
Move on and validate yourselves! The reason why you're hurt is because it's your ego. Work on your inside issues and validate your soul! Love and respect yourself!
No. I would have been thrilled to dump him in 1996. Most of us have egos that are damaged because of the underhanded tricks. I had 3 autistic children that I was raising and I wanted help with the educational expenses. Had I left the kids wouldn’t have a dad. Instead my ego went into the toilet because he alienated all my friends and support. If I had a decent sized ego I would have left it all; to hell with all of it.
Mine was already grooming the first girl he met while trying to be just separated when I had said I want an actual divorce. He was not accepting the divorce until he had her ready.
I completely understand that it wasn’t my fault. He would go back & forth between blaming everything on me and constant gaslighting to being very clear that he knew he was the problem (he actually acknowledged once that he knew he was a narcissist which, in hindsight, makes it worse). When he actually left - we were together for 7 years & broke up in March - he said that the only reason we lasted as long as we did was because I tried as hard as I did & he knew he had to go because he loved me enough to leave before he caused any more damage. How sincere was that? I don’t know. It’s helpful, regardless, that he said it out loud and I have the memory of it. It didn’t take long after for the bullshit to start back up and he has since become insanely hostile at times and said terrible things about me & what a waste of time I/our relationship was, etc. I was unable to completely avoid him because I am a bartender & he kept coming in to where I work but that has stopped and I haven’t seen or heard from him in several weeks. It’s pretty clear that his issue lies largely with the fact that I didn’t completely fall apart & I appear to be fine and happy. I’m not but I have put forth the appearance of it. I’m better than I was but have a long way to go. As I said, I understand that it wasn’t my fault. I understand that he is the way he is & the manipulation and insults and silent treatment were all his way of dealing with his own shit but the aftermath of dealing with it for years has still left it’s mark and it does still hurt & make me sad that there was no way to make it work. Realizing that the man I loved was more the potential of what I thought he could be rather than who he really was & that he likely never loved me the way I thought he did has been the hardest part to get past. But these videos have been an enormous help & I thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤
I am with you on the hardest part & hurts the most is thinking he loved me and valued me. We were together 10 yrs and told him to leave 3 weeks ago and these videos help validate that I wasn’t losing my mind and stomp out that that little voice saying what if you are wrong!
Your are sooooo right. With a narc it's not about you, ever. Not even the love bombing phase. It's their illusion filtered through you so they can feel euphoric (the only thing they are capable of feeling instead of real love and intimacy). And the discard isn't about you either. The hoover is not about you either. The sooner you realise this is NOT a relationship by any means, but a sick game of a deeply troubled individual, the better off you are.
My ex narc moved on in a week of our breakup the new supply is obviously working out because they’re together now 2 years… but he has hovered me i ignored it…. It’s devastating they post how happy they are … im guessing shes good supply allows him to manipulate her etc relationship on his terms all the things i went thru for 3 years… he even has a second FB account i know about she has no idea … hes got a harem on there!!! Thats what triggered the discard when i confronted him
In the end after monthsss of evasion, he finally admitted he met someone. Not that he was already seeing her for 8 months though.. man. Friends say this is not the final discard he will be back once he gets tired of her again. Not sure though. I think he was just bored with me. 😢
Thank you for this video. My husband after leaving me is now commenting on another woman's profile pictures. Say she's wow! And always looks so nice. So I needed this video and yes he's no longer on my Facebook friends list.
Thank you Ben...you really help me to understand things clear. You are the only person who actually gives me answer to all my questions. It really helps.
I wonder about another kind of situation... Why would he tell me about his new supply and then block me and post nothing on his social media ever since (it's been months). It's like he vanished from the face off the earth. It hurts me even more because I think he is busy with and "guarding" his new supply. He always kept most of his life secret from me as if I'm not worthy to be included. In the past would just vanish and then contact me when he felt like it. Is this something that a narcissist may do?
My ex moved in a former colleague that he never mentioned, of course it was a young girl that’s 3yrs younger than me, but he’s 10yrs younger than her. When I went over the gather the last of my things, I was confronting him hoping we can get closure. He ended up glitching out and ran out of the house! It was at 11pm at night. I don’t even know where he ran off to. I just left.
It’s the good cop/bad cop scenario 🤦♀️ just crap… I was scammed between the wife he left & the target he groomed after he’d moved in with me during the divorce, but I contacted both his wife of nearly fifty years… while I alerted the new FB supply that he was lying to her 👩 then we all dumped him & guess what? He got caught... Divorced & restraining orders & no supply for narcissism while his shell game was exposed & his final text before he was blocked was forwarded from a prostitute he hired @ age 72
Big yes: flaunting. Unfortunately I see them both at a community weekly meeting. I always divert my eyes to activity in another part of the room. I walked away 6 weeks ago as he was entering the new relationship; he's blocked and contact deleted. I don't so social media...I'm understanding what you're putting across. Thank you so much.
I screwed up my husband's plan to keep his coworker hidden. I found the answers through his phone records after trusting my Intuition. 12 year "marriage" that was a LIE. Its been a year,plus long divorce process so far. I stay clear of whatever hes doing, it doesn't help me anyways. At this point (both cheaters) im grateful he was so easily swayed with her temptation (she knew hes married). I believe he just got sucked in with a female Narc. That should be fun. I just want the legal part finalized
The victim was well hidden. ( Supply) I was confused hurt and felt betrayed. Couple of things. Feels like you gonna go crazy sometimes paranoid. They think they're like the big bulldog when they bite into something they won't let go. It's all mirage illusion if you will. Actually it's all a BIG LIES they say. Been with a narcissist. It's really interesting and of course not pretty 🧘🏻♀️✌🏻. But I deal with it. 🫀💙🤍🙏🏻 BLESS them ☺️✌🏼.
It comes from their own traumas and neglect usually in their childhood. The inability to process their own trauma messes with their mind and their perception of love, empathy and compassion. Sadly, they become this way from abuse that they endured. They then turn around and abuse others to now fill the hole they have inside.
@@rebeccaconn389 how bad does the trauma have to be? It sounds like hell. I have recently discovered my ex is this way only he's covert. He's only now talking about what happened and I'm sure it's only the surface. He's getting counseling, which.is a good start. He knows now that something is seriously wrong with him.
@rebeccaconn389 due to the fact that others that have been traumatized do differently and choose integrity I would say narcissists make the choice to be this way. They usually p@rn addicts and hang around bad people. You are who you hang around with. They know good coping mechanisms but they choose bad coping on purpose😢
I wish I could get closure. We share kids. So far the oldest has PTSD and has nothing to do with us. The other 2 basically believe every lie and smear; they don’t want victim daddy to be unhappy. I did have to leave to save my mental health; although I have PTSD. I stayed too long and lost my family anyway.
We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
@@RawMotivations If I had found you 3 years ago I would have been thrilled to work with you. My situation is complicated; I was married 40 years and he’s very covert. I had no idea he was taking joy in destroying my life.He emotionally abused our kids, trashed our house and is an alcoholic. He has no friends and scared mine away. So I would say psychopathic, misogynistic, Machiavellian, malignant alcoholic narcissist. There will never be another man and my church friends are the only ones I trust. There’s no coming back from the belief that most people are vipers.
thank you this helped me I wanted to ask the new life, business and supply is going very well after 3 years ?? Is this normal for a narc ? She is wayyyy happier than when with me (kids too) even though at the time i tried to give her what she wanted, she changed that dynamic during our marriage, from furniture, to places to go etc and finally completely when she went off scheming, or had her "head turned" into a completely different person or they'd planned a future that was radically different to ours, it is. I know its for her own purpose and the new supply has given up his own business to work for her and probably more, i hadn't and that was one of the reasons stated on discard Thank you i struggle every day to find a reason to keep going.
Blocking keeps you wondering what's going on so that when he's bored of his current supply, when he's looking for validation, he'll unblock and re-enter your life with ease. Wanting answers, it'll be easier for you to let him in or for you to even reach out. Blocking also makes it easier to smoothly move onto the next supply without any danger that you'll pop in the picture. It'll also keep you in the dark about what he's doing, which makes lying to you (if he were to re-enter) and lying to the next much easier. In one way or another, it's all a form of control and somehow "winning" at their game.
If they are running away they don’t care. If you are divorcing them then they will purposefully use finances to hurt and punish you. So if the finances really matter to you or if you really want to keep something, you have to kind of show them that you’re interested in something completely different to throw them off. Also take care of everything in silence. Meaning share nothing. For example, mine thought I was incompetent to secure a loan on my home before I knew it would be awarded to me. He even put a stipulation into the divorce decree that the home would have to be sold in 6 months if I could not secure a loan. But when it was already in place, they couldn’t get him to sign it off until a month later. And only in the presence of his lawyer. So that is the shame element that Ben is referring to. That’s how ridiculous it can get. You really need to set all emotions aside and get proper help and get all your ducks in a row, especially if your just starting the process. Hope this helps.
they also Hide hoping that you won’t find out, and if it doesn’t work out with them, they’ll come back to you and tell you that they haven’t been with anyone and all they wanted was you hoping you believe them
"I could say I'm sorry, but you know I don't mean it. I could say I have a bad conscience, but you know I dont" .. is what he said after he admitted he had cheated for the n'th time. And after lying and manipulating his way through a break up of family and 20 year relationship, so that it looked like we mutually just "grew apart". He moved in with new supply after a month. Replaced me like I was nothing. I will never get closure. Radical acceptance is the only path.
You just gave yourself closure 💞🙋
@@kimgordon3695 so true! Thank you 🥰
New mommy 🤦♀️ he will cheat on her too 👩 so be thankful that you’re freed from his crazy making behavior & have a chance to heal!
@@caroleminke6116 o yes, I am very grateful. Actually glad she came along. Not sure if he would have left if not. It hurt bad, but I do see the positives now. He also stepped up his dad game slightly to show of, and thats good for the Kids.
I feel you…
I'm good. I'm not jealous. I'm more insulted but I know what she's getting is only temporary and he rushed into the first relationship he could find.
There are more reasons why a narc might decide to hide the new supply besides wanting to mess with your head. Others may include one or a combination of:
- A downgrade they're not too keen to advertise.
- Messing with the new supply's head.
- Preserving their image so others don't raise an eyebrow at the speed of replacement.
- Fear that you will alert the new supply with what you know.
- Hiding the new supply from other new supplies.
- Etc.
100 %. Most of your points apply to my situation. But i think, most of all, he wanted to mess with her and my head.
Hiding the new supply from you so they can return to you when the “new” supply starts lacking in supply.
And/or all of the above
Yes. He never lets me see or hear about ANYTHING. I think it's because he knows he won't be able to come back. @carriebell3566
Without question...They were working on plan B, C & D all the while they were with you.
It’s not my fault that’s he’s leaving and treating me like this. I’ve been good to him and the new supply is not better than me. She’s easier to manipulate, young, naive, and willing to do whatever sexually.
They can't love because they hate themselves! You're there to be their ATM card and an amotional punching bag, including physical depending on the narc!
First it comes out as trying to make you jealous but, they don't stay long narcissists can't stand monogamy so when you see them don't take it personally she's just a number not a name
Whewwwwww “just a number not a name” so true
Looking back and seeing the patterns before and after me, I was definitely hidden and so was the new supply.
Move on and validate yourselves! The reason why you're hurt is because it's your ego. Work on your inside issues and validate your soul! Love and respect yourself!
No. I would have been thrilled to dump him in 1996. Most of us have egos that are damaged because of the underhanded tricks. I had 3 autistic children that I was raising and I wanted help with the educational expenses. Had I left the kids wouldn’t have a dad. Instead my ego went into the toilet because he alienated all my friends and support. If I had a decent sized ego I would have left it all; to hell with all of it.
Mine was already grooming the first girl he met while trying to be just separated when I had said I want an actual divorce. He was not accepting the divorce until he had her ready.
Same 💯 %
This video should go viral. You are doing amazing work, keep it up.
Wow, thank you! Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com
I completely understand that it wasn’t my fault. He would go back & forth between blaming everything on me and constant gaslighting to being very clear that he knew he was the problem (he actually acknowledged once that he knew he was a narcissist which, in hindsight, makes it worse). When he actually left - we were together for 7 years & broke up in March - he said that the only reason we lasted as long as we did was because I tried as hard as I did & he knew he had to go because he loved me enough to leave before he caused any more damage. How sincere was that? I don’t know. It’s helpful, regardless, that he said it out loud and I have the memory of it. It didn’t take long after for the bullshit to start back up and he has since become insanely hostile at times and said terrible things about me & what a waste of time I/our relationship was, etc. I was unable to completely avoid him because I am a bartender & he kept coming in to where I work but that has stopped and I haven’t seen or heard from him in several weeks. It’s pretty clear that his issue lies largely with the fact that I didn’t completely fall apart & I appear to be fine and happy. I’m not but I have put forth the appearance of it. I’m better than I was but have a long way to go. As I said, I understand that it wasn’t my fault. I understand that he is the way he is & the manipulation and insults and silent treatment were all his way of dealing with his own shit but the aftermath of dealing with it for years has still left it’s mark and it does still hurt & make me sad that there was no way to make it work. Realizing that the man I loved was more the potential of what I thought he could be rather than who he really was & that he likely never loved me the way I thought he did has been the hardest part to get past. But these videos have been an enormous help & I thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤
I am with you on the hardest part & hurts the most is thinking he loved me and valued me. We were together 10 yrs and told him to leave 3 weeks ago and these videos help validate that I wasn’t losing my mind and stomp out that that little voice saying what if you are wrong!
I divorced my ex after he got into a rebound relationship. I knew I would never want him back because he had already had one affair previously.
I needed so much to hear this. I'll put it on replay. Thank you ❤
Excatly!!! Me too!!!
Yes I listened to it three times already…. Praying for healing for us all💜
Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com
Your are sooooo right. With a narc it's not about you, ever. Not even the love bombing phase. It's their illusion filtered through you so they can feel euphoric (the only thing they are capable of feeling instead of real love and intimacy). And the discard isn't about you either. The hoover is not about you either. The sooner you realise this is NOT a relationship by any means, but a sick game of a deeply troubled individual, the better off you are.
www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
My ex narc moved on in a week of our breakup the new supply is obviously working out because they’re together now 2 years… but he has hovered me i ignored it…. It’s devastating they post how happy they are … im guessing shes good supply allows him to manipulate her etc relationship on his terms all the things i went thru for 3 years… he even has a second FB account i know about she has no idea … hes got a harem on there!!! Thats what triggered the discard when i confronted him
And you call this "working out"??? Read what you wrote again, please. "Working out" for whom?
In the end after monthsss of evasion, he finally admitted he met someone. Not that he was already seeing her for 8 months though..
man. Friends say this is not the final discard he will be back once he gets tired of her again. Not sure though. I think he was just bored with me. 😢
THIS was the most profound insight into clear understanding....Thank you Ben
Thank you for this video. My husband after leaving me is now commenting on another woman's profile pictures. Say she's wow! And always looks so nice. So I needed this video and yes he's no longer on my Facebook friends list.
Wish you the best on healing
Join the 7 day challenge now , check it out www.rawmotivations.com
They' will continue extracting from each and every supply in their garbage harem!
Best video yet thanks Ben you are doing a great service in what you teach and explain and it helps us all.
Glad you think so!
Thank you for being you and seeing the light within your soul ❤
Thank you Ben...you really help me to understand things clear. You are the only person who actually gives me answer to all my questions. It really helps.
“Excellent,” Ben, Thank you for breaking it down for people that don’t understand evil.
I needed to hear this. Thank you!
Another great video with deep insight. Thank you
Thank you.. I needed this to sink in 🙏
Killing it with these videos. This one will be on repeat.
I don't think I'm really envious or jealous about this whole situation. I prefer serenity and peace, SOUL I'm really worth it ✌🏻😉🫀💪🏻🧘🏻♀️👏🏻.
I wonder about another kind of situation... Why would he tell me about his new supply and then block me and post nothing on his social media ever since (it's been months). It's like he vanished from the face off the earth. It hurts me even more because I think he is busy with and "guarding" his new supply. He always kept most of his life secret from me as if I'm not worthy to be included. In the past would just vanish and then contact me when he felt like it. Is this something that a narcissist may do?
Thank you for this! So helpful 🙏🏼
Glad it was helpful!
Can you do a video on Narcissistic STALKING after a breakup with them? He’s had a new gf for a year and us stalking me and told HER to block ME 😂
Thank you so much! This helps
I'm so glad!
Thank you for this video
I knew he went away for his addiction and supply. I don't need eny closure. I'm just fine the way I am 🧘🏻♀️✌🏼, thanks 👍.
Thanks for the that (Raw motivations). I appreciate it 😊 🙏. Great Vibes!!✌️😁.
Outstanding video Ben!
Very true on everything you said!
Thank you!
This video is pure gold. Thank you!
You're very welcome!
My ex moved in a former colleague that he never mentioned, of course it was a young girl that’s 3yrs younger than me, but he’s 10yrs younger than her.
When I went over the gather the last of my things, I was confronting him hoping we can get closure. He ended up glitching out and ran out of the house! It was at 11pm at night. I don’t even know where he ran off to. I just left.
Great post
What a lucky man getting my nark ex 🤣
Thank you.. I needed this!
You're so welcome!
It’s the good cop/bad cop scenario 🤦♀️ just crap… I was scammed between the wife he left & the target he groomed after he’d moved in with me during the divorce, but I contacted both his wife of nearly fifty years… while I alerted the new FB supply that he was lying to her 👩 then we all dumped him & guess what? He got caught... Divorced & restraining orders & no supply for narcissism while his shell game was exposed & his final text before he was blocked was forwarded from a prostitute he hired @ age 72
Big yes: flaunting. Unfortunately I see them both at a community weekly meeting. I always divert my eyes to activity in another part of the room. I walked away 6 weeks ago as he was entering the new relationship; he's blocked and contact deleted. I don't so social media...I'm understanding what you're putting across. Thank you so much.
This is one of your best videos
I screwed up my husband's plan to keep his coworker hidden. I found the answers through his phone records after trusting my Intuition. 12 year "marriage" that was a LIE. Its been a year,plus long divorce process so far. I stay clear of whatever hes doing, it doesn't help me anyways. At this point (both cheaters) im grateful he was so easily swayed with her temptation (she knew hes married). I believe he just got sucked in with a female Narc. That should be fun. I just want the legal part finalized
The victim was well hidden. ( Supply) I was confused hurt and felt betrayed. Couple of things. Feels like you gonna go crazy sometimes paranoid. They think they're like the big bulldog when they bite into something they won't let go. It's all mirage illusion if you will. Actually it's all a BIG LIES they say. Been with a narcissist. It's really interesting and of course not pretty 🧘🏻♀️✌🏻. But I deal with it. 🫀💙🤍🙏🏻 BLESS them ☺️✌🏼.
thanks
How do narcissists.learn this crap? How do they learn to be so evil?
It comes from their own traumas and neglect usually in their childhood. The inability to process their own trauma messes with their mind and their perception of love, empathy and compassion. Sadly, they become this way from abuse that they endured. They then turn around and abuse others to now fill the hole they have inside.
@@rebeccaconn389 how bad does the trauma have to be? It sounds like
hell.
I have recently discovered my ex is this way only he's covert. He's only now talking about what happened and I'm sure it's only the surface.
He's getting counseling, which.is a good start. He knows now that something is seriously wrong with him.
@rebeccaconn389 due to the fact that others that have been traumatized do differently and choose integrity I would say narcissists make the choice to be this way. They usually p@rn addicts and hang around bad people. You are who you hang around with. They know good coping mechanisms but they choose bad coping on purpose😢
Thank you so much your videos help me understand my husbands behavior
You are so welcome!
I wish I could get closure. We share kids. So far the oldest has PTSD and has nothing to do with us. The other 2 basically believe every lie and smear; they don’t want victim daddy to be unhappy. I did have to leave to save my mental health; although I have PTSD. I stayed too long and lost my family anyway.
We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
@@RawMotivations If I had found you 3 years ago I would have been thrilled to work with you. My situation is complicated; I was married 40 years and he’s very covert. I had no idea he was taking joy in destroying my life.He emotionally abused our kids, trashed our house and is an alcoholic. He has no friends and scared mine away. So I would say psychopathic, misogynistic, Machiavellian, malignant alcoholic narcissist. There will never be another man and my church friends are the only ones I trust. There’s no coming back from the belief that most people are vipers.
He brings many woman to church to trigger me.. I’m the usher 🤦🏽♀️
Don't waste your life on these empty shells in a meat suit! They're not worth it.
thank you this helped me
I wanted to ask the new life, business and supply is going very well after 3 years ??
Is this normal for a narc ?
She is wayyyy happier than when with me (kids too) even though at the time i tried to give her what she wanted, she changed that dynamic during our marriage, from furniture, to places to go etc and finally completely when she went off scheming, or had her "head turned" into a completely different person or they'd planned a future that was radically different to ours, it is.
I know its for her own purpose and the new supply has given up his own business to work for her and probably more, i hadn't and that was one of the reasons stated on discard
Thank you i struggle every day to find a reason to keep going.
i wish you the best on healing, it is a process! If you need to , try joining the 7 day challenge escapetoxicity.com/
What about if the narcissist blocks you on everything???
Blocking keeps you wondering what's going on so that when he's bored of his current supply, when he's looking for validation, he'll unblock and re-enter your life with ease. Wanting answers, it'll be easier for you to let him in or for you to even reach out. Blocking also makes it easier to smoothly move onto the next supply without any danger that you'll pop in the picture. It'll also keep you in the dark about what he's doing, which makes lying to you (if he were to re-enter) and lying to the next much easier. In one way or another, it's all a form of control and somehow "winning" at their game.
@@LizGxtAWESOME answer, thank you. I so needed this.
Trick question. Yes and no because they already did while you were together 💀
Can a narcissist be fair when assets must be divided?
No
As long as everything is there's.
Yes, if they are in a hurry
If they are running away they don’t care. If you are divorcing them then they will purposefully use finances to hurt and punish you. So if the finances really matter to you or if you really want to keep something, you have to kind of show them that you’re interested in something completely different to throw them off. Also take care of everything in silence. Meaning share nothing. For example, mine thought I was incompetent to secure a loan on my home before I knew it would be awarded to me. He even put a stipulation into the divorce decree that the home would have to be sold in 6 months if I could not secure a loan. But when it was already in place, they couldn’t get him to sign it off until a month later. And only in the presence of his lawyer. So that is the shame element that Ben is referring to. That’s how ridiculous it can get. You really need to set all emotions aside and get proper help and get all your ducks in a row, especially if your just starting the process. Hope this helps.
Yes, to make you stop complaining about abusing you, some will give you whatever just to be done(coverts always have to look nice on the outside)