finding yourself after a mental breakdown
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
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****I had a mental breakdown in September 2020. I lost my license, job and mom to suicide in a short period of time. I went into a severe depression. I was ready to go, end it all. I am diagnosed with anxiety, depression and PTSD. It's 2 years later and I am doing alot better. I am on medication, eat healthy, take supplements, exercise and gave up alcohol & caffeine. I kind of see it as a positive. It needed to happen to me or my ways would not change. I had no counselling or therapy. Where I live in Ontario, Canada, counsellors/therapists are at a premium so I took to RUclips watching video's pertaining to depression, anxiety, grief, TedX talks and videos such as this. I educated myself with over atleast 1000 hours of these self help videos. I taught myself about what foods to eat, vitamins to take etc. I am a survivor. I'd like to thank you for this video Marie! :) ***If anyone has any questions for me or need some help I shall try, feel free to message me! :) It's a long journey that is slow but the good thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Thank you.****
What self help videos helped you the most?
I am in ontario Canada I am going through darkness and inam unable to cope with this mental breakdown.. I have so many areas of my life all areas in turmoil it is too much. I sm scared
What’s helped me most in trying to separate myself from my mental health is to stop myself from obsessing over it. I used to read about my mental illness all the time, look back on my childhood to see signs of it everywhere, etc. Now I’ve found new, positive things to occupy my time. Instead of thinking, “I’m sick” (seeing myself as helpless) I say, “I’m resilient” (I have control over my life)
I really needed this, had a major breakdown in February and have been trying to find myself, but I've been ill for so long that I don't remember anymore...
I'm 23 and I've had big traumatic events pile up on me from age 6 to 14 and spiraled into toxic coping behaviours as a teen/young adult that I feel like it's my whole personnality now. It's very weird how I'm afraid to be better because it feels like I would have nothing left.
Journaling has helped a lot, and I'm trying out a bunch of new hobbies.
I know how it feels
And it may not mean much from a random person on RUclips but I'm really happy that you've found something that helps you
Keep it up
And I'm proud of you 💙
Thank you so much for all the vids you do, for a teenager with a bunch of mental health stuff, you are showing me that maybe I can come out the other side of this. Going through a rough patch, relapsed into self harm after more than a year, parents don't know. But your videos always make me a little brighter! Lysm! Hope you are doing ok! Xxx
for me personally, I never missed my old self from before I was mentally ill as I started developing depression etc when I was around 11/12. because I only started to get properly better around the age of 16, I really had no idea of who I was at all even before I was ill because it was so long ago and also I had missed out on that period of starting to figure out who I am and my beliefs and likes and dislikes etc so I kept missing the person I was when I was at my worst and super depressed because that's all I knew and that's the person that I thought I was. so for me, it was so hard to get past that period of wanting to stay depressed and constantly self-sabotage. the only way I got out of it was living with that uncomfortable feeling of having no idea who I was and throughout the past 2 years and over time I have been about to gradually find out who I am. the only thing that worked was forcing myself to stay in that uncomfortable feeling and waiting for it to gradually disappear over time as I got used to normal life again
Am so relating to this - it’s so tempting to want to go back to that old life, but often that’s one one the things that had a hand in your problems.
Time to move on and find the real you, the authentic you, THE BEST YOU ❤️ And also agree about accepting your past self so you can grieve and let it go.
Loved this video! I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying here. I was diagnosed with BPD in February and spent a few months in hospital. I’ve been struggling a lot with having a stable sense of my ‘identity’/ feeling empty. I’ve lost a lot of friends and my relationship broke down before I was diagnosed, and I felt for a while like my identity had been taken from me as well and I was so desperate to ‘go back’ to who I was. Luckily I’ve been doing a lot better and have realised the importance of going ‘forward’ into the new me, like you said. 🧡
When I saw your video come up my face just lit up 😁❤
Your honestly the most inspirational person ever Marie!!! Thank you so much for posting this video- so so helpful ⭐️ lysm 💕
When I first had a breakdown I was 16 and it was the summer before I was meant to start college, before this I had been ill before but I didn’t really realise until things got really bad. Because of this I missed the first couple of months of my college course which I had I been looking forward too for months and never got to start properly because I wasn’t well and because I felt so lost during this time I didn’t think I would ever find myself and have the strength to build myself back up again and go back to normality. I felt like mental health had taken over my life and I couldn’t let go of it because I was so attached to the thought of “being ill” and therefore felt like I needed to be it forever. However, what I did was start to realise that I wouldn’t be “ill” forever and therefore slowly took myself away from the feeling and let go - i also looked into things that I really liked doing- for example I started a drama club on a weekend (because I really enjoyed acting during this time) as it’s something I really liked doing and I noticed it took my mind of everything and gave me something to do and look forward too on the weekend. I would also do a lot of arty things and practice my skills for when I did start my course at college as this is what I wanted in the future. After realising that you can turn a negative into a positive I noticed so many changes in my life and mental health. After a while of thinking of what I do have and actually work towards something it did really give me courage to want to get better and move on. Even though sometimes is still difficult I always remember i need to have some time to myself and think more about the positives than the negatives as thinking negativity and not doing anything good isn't going to get me anywhere so instead I should always do something positive as this will keep me motivatated and feel a lot better xx
This video is just what I needed, I’ve just got out of hospital after an attempt. And I’ve been struggling to find myself again. Thank you for being such an incredible influence ❤️❤️🥺
i’m sending you so much love elsa 💖
finding yourself after a breakdown is so scary, I'm currently trying to come out of my most recent mental health crisis and wowww it's not a fun ride. the person I was just seems so far away..I really appreciate you making this video xxx
sending you so much love and hugs 💗
🥰
i’m just starting medication after 6 years of mental illness and i don’t know who i am without my illnesses i’m SCARED
It was great to be able to draw after 3 years. My depression took it away from me until last year. It was like getting myself back. I’m in recovery and I’ve become a better person than I was
I just want to say THANK YOU 💐 excellent information. After my breakdown I also felt hollow a massive void inside me. I have started enjoying the small things and being more mindful. I see my breakdown now as a break through really. You have helped me so much xxx
I am going through a nervous breakdown at the moment and I don’t see my therapist until the weekend. Your whole video has just made me feel less alone and actually given me hope , I will watch this video every day it has really helped me ❤️ Thankyou so much xx
Thank you so much for this video Marie!! I can relate to all of this, viewing my mental illness as my identity for so long means that I haven’t been able to recover at all because I have no idea who I am without it and who I have to be. Using the points you’ve brought up I really need to work on that, and hopefully leaving sixth form this year means I can start again and start to re-discover myself ❤️
I am having a mental breakdown right now. I’m just sitting on the floor, this time feeling numb. I am not fazed by anything right now because I always FUCK things up. I lost my career, lost my grandma, had to let go of someone I saw a future with, my family is very toxic and I feel tied down to it. I am living in a RUT. I know how to change and what to do but after this episode, I don’t know what life has in store for me. I just wish whenever my future self read this, she should be proud of herself the next time. I DONT WANT TO BE IN THIS SUTUATION ANYMORE. MY SOUL REFUSES TO BE LIKE THIS.
Wow I love the analogies!!! You really have a way with words 😀This video helped me a lot.
I watched a video of yours from Christmas where you touched on attachments and I realized that I struggle with this, but I never knew what it was. Would you consider doing a video speaking more deeply on attachments??
Love you, Marie 💗keep doing great things!
(Hopefully sometime soon I’ll be able to comment what has helped me recover, but at the moment I am still in the thick of things 😕)
Clara Pitkin Stay strong lovely💓 I would love a vid on attachments too!
I loved this video 😍. I think when I was in an important stage of development in my childhood I had numerous events happen that all counted towards me being poorly. I still struggle sometimes knowing who I am now that I am getting better but day by day I’m finding more and more things that I like and I have made a lot of changes in my life by cutting out toxic situations. I’m getting there day by day. I’ve recently found out I love making things with resin like keyrings and trinkets and I’ve found an interest in dream reading.
Thank you for everything you do for your followers because you’re helping people change their lives and helping them see the light at the end of the tunnel! ❤️
my mental illness might’ve taken away my past, but it will never take my future from me. i love you so much marie❤️
After my mental health crash starting just over 2 years ago, I finally feel like I'm finding myself again. In an odd way it feels like I'm back to 17 where I was finding who I was.
The hollow feeling is so accurate.
Omg.. this helped me soo much. And i’m about to share this video with my friend because i think it will help him and omg i don’t know how to explain how much i appreciate and love you!
that’s so lovely of you! love you!
Absolutely loved this Marie! Think with lockdown and everything going on this year a lot of people are struggling with their mental health a lot. Thank you for sharing this 🖤
My favourite video you've ever done ❤🙌🙌🙌
I struggled for the longest time with wanting to be my 'old self' but ontop of what you said about trying not to want to be that person, also focusing on who I have that I love and love me back and everything I have to be grateful for has honestly changed my life and I'm getting back to normal ❤ cant wait for the next video xxx
this helped me so much I'm still on the road to recovery but this helped me get closer xoxoxoxo
Hi Marie. Thank you so much for your Video. I am 19, I’ve finished college this year which was rudely disturbed by corona. In January my dream career was crushed. Since then I’ve felt my self dramatically decline. I’m not diagnosed with anything and I also don’t want to be due trying to get in to the RAF which is a highly competitive place. I feel so lost and find my self second guessing everything down to the conversations I have in my head. I’m just not sure what to do. I’ve got my parents telling me that I’m selfish and self-centred, I don’t help out with anything pretty much saying I’m lazy. Heck maybe I’m all of those things, but I keep thinking about what they have said to me and can’t shake he feeling that I’m a bad person and I’m always pitying my self. I feel awful I get angry so easily which makes me upset. I don’t know who I am any more. I don’t have time to waste because after lockdown I have nothing and I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t have the energy to do anything about it.
I’m not looking for attention, I don’t mind if anyone doesn’t comment because I honestly don’t expect it. I can’t believe I’m going to post this comment 😬
Hope your ok? Your stronger than you believe and will get through it- trust me I've been there. Reach out for help if you need it and look for positive people to fill your life. Stay safe!
I just want you to know that the way you feel is valid, you're not a bad person, just try your best and that is all that can ever be asked of you x
Thankyou so much to the both of you. I really appreciate it. It helps to know that I’m not going completely mad x
@@l-jy2653 🥰
thank you I was about to start hating myself (once again) but your video helped me to see that I am not my mental illness. I actually feel a bit of empathy for myself
Marie, I loved this video a lot!! I just wanted to say that. Keep going strong! Keep doing your thing! I love what you are bringing to youtube/my life/my lessons/the conversation!! love you girl, I am trying to rebuild myself with the things I want to be, as well as honouring the parts of me that I can't choose or change and you remind me that this shit is hard but worth it :))
SO WORTH IT !! that’s the attitude I wanna hear 🥰🥰 you’re the best xxxx
A very good video again, going back is no option you have too rebuild yourself again and that takes a while, it took me a year too rebuild after a 4 year depression, hope it stays away.
In case no one told you today:
- You’re beautiful
- You’re loved
- You’re needed
- You’re alive for a reason
- You’re stronger than you think
- You’re gonna get through this
- I’m glad you’re alive
- Don’t give up
- There are ppl who love you
you’re such an inspiration marie✨💗 i was inpatient last year and you inspire me so much to not be ashamed and use what i’ve been through as strength x
You're so brave telling your stories in order to help others. Also you're very easy to listen to & incredibly helpful at difficult times ❤
A brilliant video, I am still going through self identification at nearly 35! I wish I was so self aware as you when I was younger but I wasn't ready xx
Hi when you say self identification do you mean sexuality or personality?? I’m like you I can’t decide if im suicidal or happy emo or girly hollow or full. Is this self identification?? I switch between things constantly. Can you relate ?? Xxx
Holly Felton hi holly, mine is personality- I am stuck between insecure, people pleaser, isolator to confident bubbly and independent. Just wish I felt a bit more stable! Xx
I swr ever time I click on her video I’m always like Omd her tan is unreal ! 😂💕 I don’t understand !!!
it’s perfect
I don't know a me who didn't have blatant mental illness so it's actually a strange concept for me to be like "oh I miss who I used to be" I miss aspects of my younger self. I used to be incredibly book smart. And the last few years with trauma and medication and illness I have very little memory for reading/academics now, so I miss a bit of that. I also feel like I was never able to be just a happy kid because Ive had severe anxiety since I was literally a toddler. So I don't relate to wanting to be who I used to be but who I could have been.
Definitely detaching personality from illness is a really big thing for me and a lot of people for sure.
Hi Marie, I found your channel not too long ago and in all honesty, I watched your videos and others on youtube in order to further trigger myself (this is so wrong but when I have my rough patches I am nearly unable to control my actions.) However, this video could not have come at a more perfect time, I just had a breakdown that came to an end 1 and a half days ago. Thank you for taking the time to talk about this, it made me listen to things I really needed to hear. Friends and family can tell you these things all they want but somehow, the words coming from another who has been through similar feelings and experiences just hits a lot harder. I won't mention what my particular mental health struggles are but I just need you to know that what you do is massively appreciated and even vital in people's recovery. I know I have a journey ahead of myself now, I have been through this before and infact over the span of 6 years (I am 19). Sometimes it is hard to keep going when it just keeps repeating itself and you fall back into the struggles of mental illness, but seriously, content like this from real people which is easily accessible is so valuable, especially to an introverted, guarded person like me. I find it extremely hard to discuss things with others but hearing your experiences makes me feel less alone, so thank you x (I hardly ever leave a comment on youtube so sorry if it is a bit all over the place lol)
I really like the 'fake it till you make it' idea - I have Emetophobia and anxiety and I've got to a point where I can't leave my house really. But I've been doing little challenges and trying to grow my comfort zone and every time I go outside, I wear clothes I really like and just pretend that I'm a really confident person who goes out all the time! It definitely helps. I also say affirmations in my head like 'I am strong, I am brave, I am in control' and even though I don't really believe those things, saying them over and over again definitely helps me a lot xxxxx
YOU ARE BRAVE 💖💖💖
I have just recently had a mental breakdown. It started a month ago in January. I had to give up my job.
I am going to see a psychiatrist next week. I have been taking Zoloft for years because it was suggested I do from a family member and of course my doctor agreed but I don’t know if that was a good idea now.
I thank you for your video and I do look forward to seeing the new me from this.
Thank you for reminding me to separate the mental illness from me.
Great video. I'd love it if you did a video or part of a video on how you set up/write your gratitude journal. I really want to start doing it soon.
I dont struggle with psychosis and im not diagnosed with anything, but this video was still extremely helpful. Just like you i often wish i could get back who i was at 13, before i started struggling with mental health. At 13 i was happy, almost too confident and full of hope for the future. I had loads of friends and a tight support network. After that i lost it all, and i havent regained most of it since. At 14 i started struggling heavily, and in the end i almost failed high school because i couldnt get out of bed. My family were angry and disappointed because they didnt understand. I even started planning my own death because i couldn’t see a way out. Luckily i had an online friend who convinced me to go to a therapist, and with therapy i slowly started to get better and find happiness again. I told my family about my struggles, graduated high school and got into uni. However i havent been completely okay since i was that 13 year old girl. I have periods of time where i feel better and periods of time where i feel hopeless. Its like an endless loop. Every time i have a period of time where i struggle with my mental health, i feel like i lose myself all over again, and move further from the person i used to be. And it seems to be getting worse again.
What do you do when you've been hospitalised quite abit, and tried multiple therapists and psychiatrists but you feel you can't have the help because other people need it more and you can't justify yourself. For over 3 years, all I've done is shut off during sessions, so now they've given up on me and want to discharge me. I don't think I can be helped.
Thank you for amazing video..... I am finding that finding/creating myself after a breakdown is an ongoing process and often involves losing myself again and again so don’t be so hard on yourself, there might never be an end goal or perfect self, we are always evolving 💗
honestly appreciate all your content, so helpful & always makes me feel better
You described what I was trying to find words for! And I'm so thankful for this video and you because it was so inspiring and it cames in the right time. Thank you💗
sending you so much love 💖
Thank you for this video. I'm crying along to your words. ❤️
I love your videos so much Marie! Honestly the highlight of my week when you upload 💕 Thankyou for being you x
Had a breakdown last year and currently going through another breakdown/ crisis period as we speak. I use Samaritans a lot their email service makes me feel a little less alone especially when none of the medical professions understand as I find it so hard to talk. Mostly when I’m really struggling I want my mum. I am 26 a student nurse almost qualified. There is nothing wrong with wanting a parent. Because what we are wanting is comfort and warmth.
Thank you so much for this 🥺💗
You're videos have helped me so much I honestly can't tell you have much I love and appreciate you and your videos
Trigger warninggg
I had a really bad breakdown which caused me to run away for a day, biggest regret . Prior to this, i was self harming my thighs, and was restricting myself from my wrist . The day i left i went feet forwards into my wrists, im a few weeks clean and im working on getting myself help, askin my mum tommorow in the morning for help . But marie, youve helped loads, so ty x
You're so pretty I love the frizzy curls you did here💕
thankyou!!! 💗
Honestly one of the most difficult things for me is having the knowledge that other people know I have mental health issues from supporting me and living with me . I 'm one of those people who seeks out support from other people half the time but the other half of the time I try to cope with my issues on my own and won't necessarily actively seek out guidance or help from those around me . I feel like I should be independent so it makes me feel uncomfortable when I have to talk to other people and explain that I'm struggling
Ilysm, thank you for talking about this ❤️
I have had to learn that I am not my bipolar and my bipolar is not me. I have bipolar but there is so much more to me than it. I am a creative and caring person that just so happens to have a mental illness
Your wonderful strong and amazing you have come so far and are giving me the hope that I can go far and get better 💕
I used to be a cheerful person who never let anything bring her down. It would be fair enough to say that I was ambitious and loved dancing. It was my way of relieving all the pain I was feeling. It made me feel free. I was quite energetic such that even if I didn't know the right steps, I would still look good because of the energy but everything changed after I suffered from a mental illness and I feel devastated 💔. I wish God could just....rewind my life a little maybe things could be better.
❤
I can relate and resonate with this video so much. Thank you.
Really needed this tonight 💕
Going thru that right now. Think I am out the breakdown, but satisfied in temporarily staying isolated and non-functional.
you’re an amazing human 💗
Thankyou for making this video, this is such a helpful video ♥️
This could not have come at a better time
Guys can anyone help me out maybe people here who have autism or bipolar. I have a history of mental issues in my family like adhd, autism, bi polar. I’m undiagnosed but I have a few issues. My parents say I’m autistic and they are aware that I’m not mentally straight. When my best friend got a gf I was obsessed and it sent me spiralling to self harm and such bad things because I was paranoid about them being together. I split them up. Trying to explain it to him was so weird because I didn’t know why I couldn’t have control. I have MASSIVE problems with my identity and stuff. Anyone here who is autistic, does this sound like you?? Can you relate??
It really sounds rough and like this really affects you. The best thing you can do is the scariest thing, which is seeking help from professionals. I really hope you will figure this out ❤️ I am diagnosed with autism but unfortunately I can’t relate to your issues. But(!!) autism is a spectrum disorder which means it’s a very broad disorder and you can’t really say what kind of “traits” you might experience because of it. There are “traits” that autistic people usually have in common but it still doesn’t mean that you have to experience that. I am diagnosed with autism disorder amongst other disorders so it’s hard to tell what’s what really. I’ve always had anxiety about situations involving other people though. I’ve never done well in school and haven’t had a lot of friends because of that. I experience a lot of other things too but I feel like that’s pretty typical for autism anyway. I’m not familiar with bipolar though, maybe someone else can relate to that?
Thanks
i love u thank u for all u do
I had a mental breakdown just 20 minutes ago not gonna lie tho and i saw this thank you marie hows pip doing thank you your videos are a blessing to me you made my day i was shaking crying
HELP i just started antidepressants for the first time - fluoxetine and i’ve been on them for like three or four weeks and as soon as i started taking them i completely switched off romantically and i have no feelings for my boyfriend anymore and before this i was so inlove and i’m so scared i don’t know if anyone else has ever experienced anything like this and what’s happening or if it goes away?
Hey, it happened to me too. Maybe fluoxetine isn't for you. I had terrible nightmares and was feeling empty all the time. I suffer from borderline personality disorder. You should talk about those side effects with your psychiatrist. I hope I helped you a little bit. Stay safe 💕
Laura W thank you so much it makes me feel better knowing i’m not the only one, i’m going to see if it eases off more and if it doesn’t i’ll probably change. you too 💜💜
@@bill-eb3vi 💜 ☺️
Does anyone else find the when they’re bad they like things they normally wouldn’t then hate it the next minute? It’s like I’ve completely forgotten who I am sometimes
Hey Marie! I love your videos. Also, what foundation are you wearing? It looks amazing x
il makiage!!! 💗 thankyou so much x
Not watched the whole video yet. But. Looking at a blank word document now, having thoughts of making a video response…haha so here goes.
Just back from MHAS in Edinburgh my hometown. Hadn’t slept for over 72 hours, way over. And went in with elated mood, following, extreme elated mood and psychosisy things. I had a psychosis over a year ago, drug induced, don’t do drugs kids. I’m 20 btw. Im nearly 7 months clean, of all mood altering things not prescribed. I had just signed up for therapy, and just finished step one of a 12 step program, and was trying to do to much at once and forgot to sleep, about 5/6 days ago. But yeah, so I was experiencing things, that reminded me of that time in my life, when I had to be hospitalised. This led me to kinda crash. I had also joined a discord for standup comedy… I did my first open mic set last night, so I’ll be making a RUclips Chanel… luxurious lol. But I genuinely got so obsessed bu it, I forgot to sleep, and by brain autopiloted its way through, for like over 72 hours, I was on video chats with strangers. Yup, I was the only girl as well, so that pl;aged a part hahahahaha… not good.
Where I’m at now, is, much better, and I want to capture it in text. But, Ive had a mcdonalds on the way back from my MHAS experience, and had lots of sleep, since my first PRN experience,(took two pills straight away, as soon as they told me I could take two haha, addiction guys) chlorpromazine is god sent, so is the NHS. Everything has bad days guys :) I’m in a place currently where ive just woken up, on a mental health Monday, seen Marie’s new vid, started watching, and now I’m writing this, listening to the song, (T/W suicide, after 2 mins) vincent, by don mclean, Thank you higher power. But yeah, starry starry night, I have it on my ceiling above my bed guys. Now I understaaaaaand. We suffered for our sanity
THIS IS SO STRANGE - we are so alike, even listening to Vincent - it has been added to my playlist a few weeks ago, So beautiful. im sending you so much love! you’re so strong 💖
When I was working in nyc as a fashion design assistant ,which I had dreamed of my whole life and that lasted 2 years before my mental and physical illness , cause me to pass iut multiple mes at work so my boss put me off until I got my health back together. What they didn't understand that and I had to literally step away from my dream job knowing I'll never go back . Mental illness robbed me of my life
I lost my job with the biggest luxury fashion company in the world due to mental illness. You’re not alone. It’s okay. I’m still ruined by it and it’s been since January. I’m scared to even start working again. You’re not alone.
@@ChellseaElle8 thank you you probably dont know how much this means to me but it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do was to walk away from my life's work and dreams, I was so accomplished and my family was so proud of me especially my kids now I'm still sitting at home trying to get my life back together . Hope you can get back to your job soon amd live your dreams I pray ever night that god will let me .
I never know when the right time to ask this question is, because I don’t want to appear as insensitive. But does anyone know what tan Marie uses? It’s unreal! Amazing and really helpful video btw Marie! Thank you x
hey I love the vid and you hope you are well and stayiing safe
This thumbnail is sooo elite Marie wtf
COMPLIMENT OF THE CENTURY! thankyou so much 🤧💖
You are a queen x
I feel so low today , I need to say it but I don’t wanna say it to anyone so now it’s out there Thankyou for ready 😂
Your earrings are beautiful!!
haha... my mom does the same!!!
All love 💓
🖤🖤🖤
💗💗💗
❤️❤️
You remind me so much of Peter Andres wife (looks!) xx
I love you
Woow 1000 views in the first hour 💕💕💕
You're such an inspiration Marie! I recently started my channel where I also speak about mental health in some videos, and would love if you could check it out xxx
First? Maybe?