@@ptuliplet me give you a man’s perspective, he’s 1000000% sleeping with the other woman and doesn’t want to file for divorce and lose half of everything he has to the wife.
My ex did the same thing but you get to the point when you do not care. He can tell his people what ever he wants. I know why our marriage ended and so does God and the people who love me. So I couldn't care less what lies he tells. She needs to have some hard conversations with herself. She will come out the other side just fine.
I mean not really people say to end things even when the situation isn’t that serious and can be worked on. Divorce is very normalized today that it’s why people don’t think deeply about marriage.
@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn As a therapist, that really is a huge deal. We dont press our personal beliefs on clients it's unethical. Dr. John's analysis of why they would have told her that was spot on. Otherwise, we keep our mouths shut and let the client lead on terms of goals and therapy objectives. Just sayin, 🤷🏾♀️ But I also agree that divorce is too normalized. In this case, he gave up, and you can't force someone to love you no matter what they promised you.
@@rofrankie947 question, as a therapist why do you think relationships especially marriages fail? For example you can say communication issues or trust issues etc. I just want to know your opinion as a therapist.
@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn Well, to name a few; inflated ego, lack of effective communication skills, failure to remain committed to promises and responsibilities, faulty perceptions, and not being ready to make the relationship sacrifices (reciprocity) needed to succeed, etc.
Therapist are horrible. They don’t fix people or they would go out of business. They program you to start more problems by becoming narcissistic and blaming other people for your choices
“We just celebrated 18 years…well, we didn’t really celebrate because he didn’t acknowledge it.” It’s terrifying that there are people actually living in marriages like this, treating their spouses like trash and their spouse just puts up with it passively for years as though they have no choice. It’s over, ma’am.
All that is well, however there has to be more context. Men, even if they cheat, they always have energy for sex so they will cater for the wife too. When they don't then there are either medical issues (e.g. diabetes etc.) or psychological ones. For example, I had heard a similar case (from my irl environment) of a man whose wife complained to her female friends that he did not touch her anymore. Guess what : in the end it came out that she actually had cheated on him in the past, he had not found out in time, she ended her affair and resolved to stick to the marriage thinking her husband had not detected anything, but then someone told the man that his wife "most probably cheated", he connected the dots for the given period, and hence he pondered divorcing her, finally deciding that he did not want to lose house and kids and hence stuck with her. But not wishing to have sex with her again as she disgusted him, he started visiting prostitutes... and the sex was so good that he could just not go back to having sex with his wife even if he was willing to forgive her, and he was of course not at all willing. When men don't sleep with their wives, it is thus either a medical issue (I count in there the rare but existing case of homosexuality as well) or a psychological one, usually based on grievances, often very valid ones.
My heart is broken for her, he has clearly took everything from her including her self worth. Please caller leave. You are on your own anyway. Leave and feel love again ❤
This resonates with me bc after 17 years of marriage ended the ONLY thing he sees that he should've done different is to say hello to me when he gets home from work. And years prior our marriage counselor told me in our private session..." I can keep taking your money, but until you realize who you're married to, I can't help you!" And it took me SEVEN more miserable lonely years to finally say I'm done.
He along with most men sadly, has Madonna Whore Complex. They want to have their domestic slave at home and a side piece for their sexual relations. Selfish, hellbound pricks!
thats why 85% of divorces are initiated by women. And most men point at this as a reason to blame women, yet men play this stupid mind game of acting out until the woman leaves because they dont want to lose the unpaid labor and 1/2 the marital assets... they see marital assets as "Theirs" failing to put ANY worth on a woman who did everything they claimed they wanted, stayed home, gave up career, had their children and raised them cooked, kept a home and supported his career, took care of him when sick and yet he sees no value in those things...because its not a PAID EMPLOYMENT.....
Thanks for the laws which will give 50% from everything in addition to tons of child support for woman and when you will ask her to sign prenup to protect yourself she refuse because she plans to take everything
If he stopped having sex with her, he is getting it elsewhere. Even worse, he feels more faithful to that other woman and being with his lawful wife feels like cheating. I feel so bad for this woman, she sounds very decent.
Not necessarily but in this case, probably. Or it's just an emotional affair and he has no intention of changing that because he's getting what he needs. It's not all about sex, it's about feeling wanted and needed and happy. Sex is just one part and men can live without it too.
@@adnanorochi3761 Really? Cause i'm pretty sure I do and so do millions of men who are married. Been 6-7 years for me. You learn to cope and become more productive in every other aspect of your life.
Women think giving vague hints is communicating. They're seldom direct, and most of the time, women divorce to go chase Chad or due to bad advice from single/divorced friends.
If someone leaves, they leave. I wouldn't fight for anyone. I'd just say, "ok. Bye!" Then I'd never speak to them again. Never beg someone to stay with you.
@@Chet_24but in this situation he's not mentally there. He's getting his relationship needs meet by his coworker. He's already left. Is it fair to the wife to suffer in a marriage? No it isn't.
I lived in a sexless marriage for awhile-he pretended like that’s just how he was; that he had a low sex drive or maybe even low testosterone issues. But after his Mom passed away (she had Alzheimer’s, & required a lot of visits & work) he divorced me for someone else. That was 24 years ago, and I’m STILL angry & hurt if I think about it too much.
A lot of things can kill libido - meds, wife who doesn’t care for herself, a woman’s gross habits/hygiene. It might not all be the man’s fault believe it or not.
@@ScottishTerrorsInLA Yes. Husband is an abuser of women. They're all the same to him -- commodities and objects. He's the one with the real problem here.
Thank you for this. My husband still here but he left me a long time ago. Told me today he still loves me but stopped caring for me. Only here for the kids. 2025 will be a new year for me…and it does include him. A new beginning. I can’t waste my life. Life is short. I have to do it even if it’s hard and it hurts.
I feel so bad for this woman. 18 years and she thought him saying just hello 2 days a week was things going well while hes texting another woman to begin and end his day. You are worth so much more. Please find happiness ❤ You deserve it.
What is she doing to deserve it? If she is so fat her husband won't have sex with her....she is bigger than the average American soldier in wwii and some nfl wide receivers
@@FreePickCapperthen why can’t he agree to the divorce. he’s obviously content staying legally married to her, she takes care of the house while he goes out whenever and wherever he wants with whoever he wants with no repercussions.
1. You guys just celebrated 18 years, but he didn’t acknowledge it 🚩🚩🚩 2. He never say good night to you, but he says good morning and good night to the “lady friend” 🚩🚩🚩 3. She told her that he cherish her 🚩🚩🚩 4. He comes home two hours late from work and ignores you 🚩🚩🚩 5. Telling you to be friends with someone he knowns you are uncomfortable with 🚩🚩🚩 6. Two therapist told you to get a divorce 🚩🚩🚩 Lady love yourself and get out of this crappy marriage. He is emotionally abusing you and making you feel like you are the crazy!!
So true!!! 7. Reading texts from co-worker's friend that she's going to be HEARTBROKEN if he doesn't attend BBQ 🚩🚩🚩 8. Storming off during therapy bc he called out for not doing the bare minimum 🚩🚩🚩 9. Telling this co-worker everything going on in his marriage 🚩🚩🚩 10. No sex for a year, coincidentally around the time he's becoming besties with female coworker 🚩🚩🚩 There was nothing in that call that gave me the impression that this man wanted to keep his marriage. He wants her to stay out of convenience for him but he does not care about her as a human being. It's beyond disgusting and she deserves so much more than that. Love yourself enough to leave this situation.
Even if there was a universe where he wasn’t cheating (although it is most certainly, at the very least, an emotional affair), the fact is that he’s willing to say “hello,” “good morning/night,” and “I cherish you” to a friend over text but not to the woman he shares a life and home with. If that doesn’t scream that he doesn’t care one iota about her, I don’t know what does.
After being in a dead bedroom situation, I don’t think I can ever be convinced it’s not a form of emotional abuse. Honesty is always the best option. Always.
Definitely not every time, my husband also had his problems when he was in a bad place emotionally and job wise. But he communicated it. Cutting all ties emotionally and physically is so much worse though! I hope you’re being treated better now!
Sexless marriage and then he said I don’t know why I just don’t know why I am like this. 20 years of this. I am emotionally broken. I have depression and anxiety. He is in therapy and saying he is now addressing all his traumas. All of them with EMDR Well I feel traumatized, neglected like a shell of myself. I don’t know what to do. I have two children with him. I wish with this therapy we could have a miracle. I pray everyday for a miracle. We were so in love when we first met and sex was not an issue then.
@@VanessaSimon26I’m going through this with my wife of 20 years. She swears it isn’t me as far as why she doesn’t want it anymore but I’m not getting there as far as believing it. It’s so hard and I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to be intimate at least once a week 🤷♂️.
@@VanessaSimon26 Not in a place to give advice but just asking you to think about yourself. Just ask yourself if you need him to be who you are or to feel good or to be the person you dreamed to become... If all the answers are: I really don't need him to be me: leave. If the answers are: I need him to be me: find a therapist. You need to focus on yourself at this point. You need some internal structure, to find your backbone, to find the real you, to out on your own skin and be yourself again. Stop deflecting to him and his needs, and his wants and his feelings and his problems... This is no way to live. You're in a battle ground fighting yourself, and fighting ghosts of the past and of the future, completely ignoring the present. I really, really hope you can find yourself again.💜
Our psychiatrist told me privately that I needed to divorce my husband. I tried to make it work, but I should have listened to her. We did divorce, and I was hospitalized after having a nervous breakdown
After some long experiences with women close to me who were in the state she is in, I now view them differently. I no longer believe they're any better than the men they prioritize and vicariously gain self esteem from.
@@temposhop8739 What are you talking about? “Vicariously gain self-esteem”? If you don’t gain self-esteem from your intimate relationships, then you haven’t been in intimate relationships. But there’s nothing vicious about that. And what did this woman do that comes anywhere close to shutting off intimacy with his wife and finding it with another woman?
@@greenAbbot I have healthy intimate relationships and have also had front row seats to what it looks like when people (women, in my case, since I am one an most of my close friends are also) have no self worth and prop themselves up with being attached to a man who doesn't care about her. Much like addicts like to say "my substance is medicine" or "it expands my consciousness." It takes a level of delusion to justify that their reliance makes them a better person. You seem deeply upset by my comment to have interpreted it as blaming the woman for her man cheating. How asinine.
@@temposhop8739 I interpret this as you saying the woman needs to take accountability for accepting known situations like this, and also as a woman I agree. He shouldn't cheat on her for sure, but we also need to know when to leave or else we'll be stuck in a victimized state. It's definitely hard to realize this, but once I did it became easier to not tolerate certain men and leave when necessary.
When I hear that women file the large majority of divorces, I have to wonder how many are doing so because of a situation like this - the husband is happy as a clam having an affair with another woman, and the wife acting as maid at home. He's certainly not going to file as he's perfectly happy with the status quo - filing is on her, just another task that's been dumped on her, and when she does file it'll add to the statistic of women filing divorce.
When you remove men from the equation divorce actually goes up. Lesbians have the highest rate of divorce, followed by straight couples, and gay men are least likely to divorce
She is settling for so little, it’s heartbreaking. John isn’t being hard on her, he is trying to make her see that her husband is not man and human enough to be upfront and do the right thing. He is being cruel indeed, he is gaslighting her and treating her like a child, telling her that nothing is going on with the other woman. He is not leaving her because it serves him, he is having his way and completely disregards the fact that his wife is drowning and torturing herself. He is a disgusting human being and she will be so much better off without him.
@@menak8870 Please don't 't be hard on yourself because of your abuse and trauma. I, often think that the majority of relationships have some form and level of it. Also, the lockdown added a whole other onion to everything...Some people who left, should have stayed and some who stayed, should have left. Life is difficult to navigate, if you're not perfect. 🤷🏾♀I send you prayer, cheer, love and peace. 🙏🏾💐💞 PS. You are awesome for realizing, acknowledging and admitting publicly, that you are a hypocrite...There is blessing in doing so. Most of us stay stuck on realization. I, don't know you, but I love you, and I am rooting for you.
She needs to get a private detective to find the proof he is cheating. Then confront him with the truth. He is staying to avoid financial loss, not because he vowed “until death do us part.” He is a total coward!
If the investigator proves cheating, she doesn't need to confront him. She needs to serve him with divorce papers and have the proof of him cheating presented in court.
That was deep!!! “You don’t have hope but you are wishing”….”he has already left you but he staying in the same bed”……….. I think sometimes we just need to hear it straight out like that….
I can’t imagine giving another woman something my wife said she needed from me. I also would be devastated if my wife considered me saying hi to be “putting in work”
Run. He literally said if she left he wouldn't fight for her. He's having an emotional affair. His behavior won't stop. I completely understand her, and I hate that I do.
One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn in life is that words (like i love you) are only words. You have to pay attention to actions, because that's the truth. People lie, but their actions tell on them.
@@nly4607 aha. So he has no balls to stay a truthful husband and your Argument for not divorcing is the money? You know that in that case her worries about money are the least, also he is actually owing her emotional injury compensation, if he is lying and gaslighting her.
@MiaMizuno "emotional injury compensation" I would agree with this argument for children but adults don't owe other adults because they hurt their feelings....lol that is a child's idea. If you are arguing that women should have the legal status of children that is another matter entirely
He won't divorce, he's making her do the big step. She has no life at all let alone in her marriage. He benefits if she gave him the papers, but she would be happier if she did
She did not need anyone to confirm it. This poor sap has given 18 years of her life. Its almost a jail sentence she has served. Choose to spend your precious future on yourself. Your worse than alone right now. I am so sorry. Time to face facts. Just cold turkey it. Take your dignity back. May God give you and everyone who needs or will need it strength.
I can't imagine living a single day knowing my husband has a female "friend" that he turns to in confidence when he won't even greet me when he comes home?!? Oh, sweetheart....they've been more than friends for a loooong time. He's _"her person"?!?!?_ Are you kidding me?! I'd be on her front porch faster than she could blink her eyes! I'd be DEMANDING a face to face conversation with her AND her husband to see if he's also aware of their _special bond!_ Sounds like he's been checked out too long to save this sinking ship. But before I walked out that door, I'd do EVERYTHING I could to tear apart her world as well. That "friend" knows exactly what she's been doing to this woman's marriage!
@@ineedhoezeither way though she knows better. Stay out of someone's marriage. She may not be the reason for the breaking but she's not doing anything to help it either. She needs to butt out!
Husband is absolutely cheating. Even if it’s through text. The relationship that he is having on the side is not a friendship. This is definitely an affair.
i just never got the meaning of man/woman friendship. It NEVER happens, I have been married 52 years and I never had a male friend, any males that I considered "friends" are my husband's friends NEVER mine. I have a few female friends and again they are primarily mine, not his.
Trust me, they're having sex. Men are not that evolved or that deep and I love them, think they're awesome and so glad that God created them. 'IF', they're not having sex, he needs to come out, maybe she does too or has the lowest self- esteem and is so desperate or she's trying to make her spouse chase her because she's in the wife's situation too, or getting revenge on her husband for cheating on her. ☝🏾🤷🏾♀💯
@@westaussieeggs8867so true. Even if you try to be normal friends with the opposite sex sooner or later at least one of you will catch feelings for the other and it's not longer a friendship or someone gets hurt
My husband was no contact from the honeymoon onward. He was gay and lied to live a double life. He’s since died of AIDS. He was a narcissistic emotional abuser and blamed me for everything that was wrong. My counselor helped me leave him. Was a bad dream tbh
He is cheating, I don't have a single doubt about that. My ex went through the exact same shift in behaviors. She would come home from work late and then go right to bed. Wouldn't cuddle. Wouldn't talk to me. Got to a point I felt like a roomate. Turned out she was going on secret dates with a male coworker and hooked up with him in our house when I wasn't home. My bet is both therapists see it clear as day and are hoping she figures it out through their talks vs confronting her with the truth head on.
Not always the case. I have a coworker who treats his wife like this. He texts back and forth with himself and his wife thinks it’s a female friend (it’s the google voice # and fake email). She even wastes money hiring a PI to follow him, but he pretends to be unaware. He doesn’t cheat, he jokingly admits that he uses a lot of lotion to take care of himself. He still respect her, does speak ill of her, he no longer wants to be intimate with her. He doesn’t sleep with her on purpose because he wants her to cheat on him, fall out of love him and leave him for someone else. He found out via video evidence that she slept with her ex 6 days before they got married. They’ve been married 13 years and he doesn’t look at her the same. He has not touched her since he watched the video. He says she’s even wearing the engagement ring and he watched her ex take of a dress her brought her 2 weeks before they married and they didn’t use protection. He says he will never confront her about it since she already knows it happened and she didn’t tell him so he prefers she continues to believe he doesn’t know. He forgives her and he’ll never throw it in her face, he just prefers her to dislike and fall out of love with him moving forward. Things aren’t always what they seem and * some people move in weird ways and do things differently.*
@@standground7956 Why go through all that work? Just divorce her or have Christ enter his heart and forgive her and move on. I don’t focus on my husbands mind games, indiscretions, lies or cheating (no proof, only him hinting at it and acting weird). I focus on what I am grateful for and what I love about him. He has been acting like a roommate since we got married. Going on two years. He wore a mask dating and engagement and slowly pulled it off after marriage here and there. Spiritual warfare is real. People need to make moves and not be cowards forcing others to act. Shaking head*
@@devadii24 Simp? I don’t think you understand the timeline. He dated his wife for three years, they got engaged and then married. So they’re happily married for 13years. If you saw them they still looked like they were dating, having fun, flirting and pretty cool couple to be around. The jealous ex recently sent him the video (3 months ago), so he was unaware she cheated on him. He forgives her but he says if he can dislike him, fall out of love with him, grow to hate his guts, then dump him then he’ll know for sure that she settled and never truly wanted him. Does that make sense?
the minute you stop having sex is the moment when it all comes crumbling down. not necessarily because sex is crucial to a relationship but because a lot of the time one or both partners rely on sex to shrink the gap of intimacy, and once that is gone they realize they've been using that as a crutch to avoid doing the hard work of non-sexual intimacy necessary in a marriage
My wife and I did 24 years this year. I surprised her with a weekend get away. We've had some very hard years and wanting to walk away at times, but we've put in the work, and I love her now more than ever.
Casey, cut your losses and leave, sweetie. I was in this kind of marriage for 14 years. It won't change. He wants a maid and someone to take care of him without the obligation of you. You are a human being, you deserve love, affection, intimacy on every level, someone who delights in you and looks at you with stars in their eyes!! THIS is NOT IT. HE _IS_ UNSAFE!!!! Him neglecting you is silently KILLING you, safe my batootie. It's emotional MURDER. Stop kidding yourself!
It IS emotional AND physiological murder because the level of rejection and neglect she is experiencing is also increasing her cortisol levels, causing daily stress which affects a human being on a cellular level and causes reduction in her health, elevates risk factors for cancer and that can end her life so it IS murder!!!!! I lived this with this toxic person I have been legally married to for almost 10 years. Why am I telling you this? I was very healthy, but in 10 years with this emotionally withholding man, I am “legally married to, I have had lost my youngest daughter (we have no children together) because he was negligent in securing his gun. (Bullet in chamber, left on top of laundry to be folded on the bed, I had my thyroid removed due to cancer….. kept going forward but he would lecture me like a parent everyday (yelling and instructing and I am educated and he just went to high school) then I was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer which is terminal…… and finally told him that I needed to fight a battle for my life and I am unwilling to have my children (all grown 40’s and 50’s) grieve another member of their family by losing me as well as their sister because of this one man, a retired cop who, now I realize that part of his personal “retirement” plan was grifting me to enhance his living situation at my house. Fortunately I owned my home, so I managed to get him to move out. He yelled and screamed like a child for a full 48 hours (LOUDLY) preceeding the day he moved out. This is a retired cop! I am now in remission because I at 70 finally learned to establish boundaries, consciously decided to take my heart back for myself, and although “terminal”, my self confidence is back to being me and not what a man thinks I should be or do. My Creator God loves me with an undying love and my confidence is found in God alone! The marriage? That’s difficult at now 74, but I’m working on that one next. I live with purpose without him…….I see a man with no purpose who lives a life of coverup and avoidance and never smiles unless he gets attention. It is very toxic. Don’t let this cause you to be silently “murdered” every day because it results in loss of your own life.
This makes me sad because I see my past self in this lady. I spent 12 years begging my husband to love me, hug me, give me the human decency of a hello, goodmorning, anything. I hope she left and is learning to love herself. Sending her so much love. She’s going to be truly happy once she loves herself❤
@@TC-yx1qt you know what, you are absolutely true. He never changed, he showed me who he was from the beginning and I stupidly thought he would change and see and appreciate me at some point but he never did.
This is almost identical to what my former husband did to me. It's tough to see. My husband's mistress was in another country that he visited frequently for work. They have been married for over a decade. It is emotional abuse and gaslighting.
@@kg811 Im so sorry to hear. So, do men pick and choose who they want to emotionally abuse and gaslight ? Isnt it a trait of a narcassit to abuse and gaslight. How is it possible he is not emotinally abusing and gaslighting his new wife ? Because abusive men are abusive in every relationship, they cant control themselves.
This is the same guy who crawls into comment sections later seething that "Women initiate divorce 70% of the time!" and "She divorced me out of nowhere!" and "She used me for my money!" Big yuck.
I sincerly pray for this caller. I am so sorry your husband is like this. I hope you find peace in your next phase of life and know you are worth more than this.
He is carrying on a full fledged relationship in front of her face and she refuses to recognize it or be honest with herself about it. My question would be is this her first adult relationship and has she every asked him why he is no longer attracted to her? She needs to walk away. He is emotionally attached to his co-worker. Its over.
@@wolvezy quite possible. She really didn't share what she may have done to contribute to what's happening in her marriage. I have a sneaking suspicion that when her dad was going through his medical emergency she withdrew from the marriage due to the stress of it all (which is totally normal) and her husband did not try to remain in the sanctity of the relationship and sought comfort elsewhere.
It does sound like she just doesn't have enough relationship experience to tell the difference between your partner losing attraction to you versus simply not liking you as a person in a fundamental sort of way.
Yep! John was on point when he said it's not 'hope' it's a 'wish'. She needs to live in reality, not wishes because the wishing will only bring her more misery.
@@wolvezymaybe but not likely if she's doing well she can to try to make it better, and asked him what she could possibly do. Regardless it's on him that he's moved outside the marriage for all these things thwn claiming he's still in it and she's the one who has to end it if she wants to. She should end it, but he's already been on infidelity for a long time in so many ways.
Sweetheart, I know just how you’re feeling. Same happened to me. Scenario is so close to mine it’s spooky. He’s right when he said your husband has already left you. In my case, I tried everything to keep us together, but he wasn’t interested. I finally realized I couldn’t live like that anymore. I was so lonely and mentally tired from playing games. I found emails to a much younger woman. I still tried keeping him. He was done with me. After finding emails I confronted him and he denied it, even though it was there in black and white. I had to be the brave one and say, it’s over, I need you to leave. You must do the same. That’s no life. You deserve love and affection. Make a long story short, my heart was broken but eventually I learned to overcome my depression about it. I ended up with a man that treated me like a partner, a human being. He turned out to be the love of my life. Do this for yourself. There is a better life waiting for you. You can do it and you WILL be alright. My best hopes for you.
Jeesh I’m so heartbroken for her.. You need to love yourself enough to know you deserve more than this. I hope she finds the strength to do what he’s not manly enough to do, leave.
YOU get divorce and he’s ok with it. If YOU “walk out the door”, if “YOU want to leave, just leave”. It sounds like he’s also saying YOU pay for the divorce and YOU move out and leave him the house! Get a lawyer, have him served at HIS job, and leave HIS suitcases on YOUR porch!
This husband is a complete coward using his wife as his maid. He does not have the integrity nor balls to divorce her because his mistress is also still married/taken, so he uses his wife until she is completely broken to simply fix his needs of basic caretaking in the household. For him saying he does not want to divorce her on top of that makes me say he is downright abusive and does not see his wife as a human being deserving of respect.
My heart breaks for her - I could have been her 7 years ago. I'm on the other side of unwinding 30 years with my college sweetheart. Took a good 4 years of recovering but I am SO SO SO happy on the other side. You got this sister!
‘What do i have to do to get my husband to love me?’ It should be, what does he have to do to get me to trust and love him? Also i know us non-therapists shouldn’t use this word and diagnose, however, i feel he is a Narcissist. Which means his ego and strength in his childhood must’ve been beaten down real bad.
That analogy woke my ass up about my ex. He had aspergers and adhd and the easiest stuff, he was bullshitting on and guilt tripping me for telling him the truth about his actions. He also had abusive trauma and never seemed fully healed from it. There was nothing this lady could've done to build the intimacy, it takes 2. Not just her. And I felt her pain. Took me 2.5 yrs to leave.
Sometimes I feel like John makes excuses for these men. This man isn't exhausted. He's gaslighting this woman and emotionally abusing her. And she's so determined to be married she's just ignoring it. He's already checked out of the marriage and she keeps hanging on.
I think he does that sometimes to validate the caller's view and open them up to listen to him - and only then telling them the actual truth so they can properly process it. But that's my guess, since I do agree with you.
No, John is 100% right she's putting everything on her husband she's even waiting for him to call for a divorce, this lady is not taking care of herself at all and I wouldn't be surprised if that was a huge problem in this marriage
SHE initiated comms re issues, she accepts HIS dishonest/stone walling replies, SHE initiated therapy, SHE is the 1 working on their marriage,AND keeping house/feeding and maintaining HIS 'adult' existence, why aren't you faulting him for HIS lack of self responsibility?Also, MAYBe if he was honouring any of their marriage vows, SHE'd have heaps of time, energy, interest to "self care".At worst, this poor lady is/has become anxiously attached,and is extringently motivated, & lost her own individuality/sense of self.Surprise, it's a 18year! marriage, close to half marriages end in divorce?You know what the other half 'end up' in? codependency.She thought she was in a (loving/comitted) long marriage! I think 1-3years of cognitive dissonnance,PLUS husbands' contradiction of therapists/gaslighting is understandable. She has been betrayed. Also, HIS behaviour with another woman is appalling,adds to his emotional neglect/abuse of his WIFE.Forget 'love', where is the 'honour' here?! @bambuco2
I feel for her, I was in a relationship like this, in that he quit. He fell out of love with me after almost 10 years, just stopped trying, and actively avoided intimacy. It went on for at least a year, maybe more, with me getting progressively more frantic. I was holding on to him tighter and tighter, while he grew more and more distant from me. I was desperate to not see it. I loved him so much, and I didn't want to admit to myself that it was over. Finally, he got to the point that he asked me to leave. I was utterly devastated. Still cry if I think about him too much, still heartbroken over it 2 years later. He was the love of my life, but being alone is FAR better than that hellacious limbo of not knowing, of not wanting to see. Of being the only one of a pair, trying to work on a relationship that the other half had already washed their hands of. I wish her the very best, and I hope she can find the courage to stop waiting for him to man up and be open and honest with her about where he stands in the relationship. She's going to have to be the one to walk away.
I just want to hug you girl,I know the feeling too well.Please know that you aren't alone,we women go through so much but when we rise,we are risen!! I send my love to you,things don't remain the same forever,get up,cry and walk away.I hope you find peace,love comes right after ❤
This is heart breaking. So many red flags! Time to pack your bags and leave lady. For your own sanity and peace of mind. Better to be on your own and be happy. HE HAS CHECKED OUT!!!
This was so hard to listen to. I'm not sure how she didn't break down crying in this conversation; she's incredibly strong. I know I would have. I wish her all the happiness that she deserves.
Why are so many commenters so rude toward the woman? This is a crappy situation, and she is struggling to accept it, but being rude to her reflects very poorly on the people who are being rude.
Tell that to my ex. Too many stories. One less serious incident that really hurts me to this day is when he got back from work one day and I asked how was work, he said it was fine. I said did anything happen, good or bad? He snapped at me and said "it was just work, what do you expect?". Later that night, I saw him texting a female coworker and he said "I miss talking to you about work, how come we don't talk anymore?" She proceeded to say it was because she thought I didn't like her. I never said that. I felt terrible. He wanted to talk to her about work but not me.
As a bisexual male , that's married to a male that has been only with women and and has having the same intimacy issues . And me doing everything around the house. This is so eye opening.
This happened to my father in law and mother in law. He couldn’t understand why she wanted a divorce-he provided a roof over her head and all of the necessities. I felt so bad for her, but she is happily remarried and is having a wonderful life!
That poor woman, her husband won't even say hello to her. That's vile behavior. I'm a complete socially awkward introvert but even I smile and say hello/good morning to people I walk by on the sidewalk in the morning going to work and they're total strangers I've never seen before.
I had a relationship like this.. he liked a married coworker, I was a live in maid.. i also work from home, split the bills, made dinner, cleaned etc. I feel like I will always have trust issues and never want to get married now. It’s time to accept the truth and let it all go.
Wow, this totally sounds like my 19 year relationship. (Except no cheating). I just , 2 months ago, decided to end it. We have a daughter who is 17. And the decision made me feel amazing. The transition is stressful , but that initial feeling when I decided was proof I made the right decision.
The husband reminder that they agrees in the beginning of their marriage to never get a divorce but he forgets that he vowed to love her, honor her and protect her yet he has left her in the most painful way.
Me and my wife set boundaries going into our marriage. No more friendships with the opposite sex and definitely no talking about our relationship with anyone of the opposite sex.
He sounds like my ex. When I talked to him about how I felt he said, "move out then." And I when I told him I was moving out he just smiled...then he told me it was my decision and he told his mother and sister than I left him for another man when it was him cheating on me and neglecting me. He acted like I didn't exist so he didn't even say hi.
@@Lala89856 I'm so sorry. That's awful and similar to mine, but he did talk to me, acted like everything was fine and expected me to as well. Not after years of infidelity and lack of any real investment in relationship. They want their cake and eat it too.
One of my wife’s best friends just passed away. This is legitimately, almost to the T, what she went through. The only difference is, he brought the woman around and, because she was in a bit of a fog with the medication she was taking, convinced her that they should all be friends. She needs to leave. Divorce sucks. But when your spouse is already gone… and doesn’t want to come back, leave.
She's not ready to face that fact that her husband is having an affair with this other woman. I feel for her.
He may not be sleeping with her, but he's checked out 100%.
Emotional affairs are equally destructive. Unless you've lived that hell, you don't understand the excruciating devastation of it all.
i think he already fell in love with the other girl...
Yep sounds like she’s dependent on him
@@ptuliplet me give you a man’s perspective, he’s 1000000% sleeping with the other woman and doesn’t want to file for divorce and lose half of everything he has to the wife.
He's in the "cheaper to keep her" mode.
That may be the case, also the lady that he is having an affair with is still married . So that may be a factor as well.
Yup. Understand where he’s at.
This is emotional abuse
But what other mode is there... When we save life... There's no clause in there that says cheaper to keep her ?
@gossipandgrigio7200 what percent of divorce would you call "financial abuse"? Lol
"He's dangling you off the roof and blaming you for letting go." INCREDIBLE analogy! Seriously, feel so terrible for her.
My ex did the same thing but you get to the point when you do not care. He can tell his people what ever he wants. I know why our marriage ended and so does God and the people who love me. So I couldn't care less what lies he tells. She needs to have some hard conversations with herself. She will come out the other side just fine.
Yep.... he's a narcissist..... no cure for them.
WOW TRUE !!!
@@madster-ti8je yes
I feel for her ..bet when they divorce it won’t last long with the other one..
For even one therapist to recommend divorce is big, but 2 separate therapists recommending divorce is crazy 😳
I mean not really people say to end things even when the situation isn’t that serious and can be worked on. Divorce is very normalized today that it’s why people don’t think deeply about marriage.
@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn As a therapist, that really is a huge deal. We dont press our personal beliefs on clients it's unethical. Dr. John's analysis of why they would have told her that was spot on. Otherwise, we keep our mouths shut and let the client lead on terms of goals and therapy objectives. Just sayin, 🤷🏾♀️
But I also agree that divorce is too normalized. In this case, he gave up, and you can't force someone to love you no matter what they promised you.
@@rofrankie947 question, as a therapist why do you think relationships especially marriages fail? For example you can say communication issues or trust issues etc. I just want to know your opinion as a therapist.
@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn Well, to name a few; inflated ego, lack of effective communication skills, failure to remain committed to promises and responsibilities, faulty perceptions, and not being ready to make the relationship sacrifices (reciprocity) needed to succeed, etc.
Therapist are horrible. They don’t fix people or they would go out of business. They program you to start more problems by becoming narcissistic and blaming other people for your choices
“We just celebrated 18 years…well, we didn’t really celebrate because he didn’t acknowledge it.” It’s terrifying that there are people actually living in marriages like this, treating their spouses like trash and their spouse just puts up with it passively for years as though they have no choice. It’s over, ma’am.
@@blas8866 I feel sorry for your friend.😢😢
@@blas8866That’s awful 😢
All that is well, however there has to be more context. Men, even if they cheat, they always have energy for sex so they will cater for the wife too. When they don't then there are either medical issues (e.g. diabetes etc.) or psychological ones. For example, I had heard a similar case (from my irl environment) of a man whose wife complained to her female friends that he did not touch her anymore. Guess what : in the end it came out that she actually had cheated on him in the past, he had not found out in time, she ended her affair and resolved to stick to the marriage thinking her husband had not detected anything, but then someone told the man that his wife "most probably cheated", he connected the dots for the given period, and hence he pondered divorcing her, finally deciding that he did not want to lose house and kids and hence stuck with her. But not wishing to have sex with her again as she disgusted him, he started visiting prostitutes... and the sex was so good that he could just not go back to having sex with his wife even if he was willing to forgive her, and he was of course not at all willing.
When men don't sleep with their wives, it is thus either a medical issue (I count in there the rare but existing case of homosexuality as well) or a psychological one, usually based on grievances, often very valid ones.
That’s person is my mom. It’s sad to see it so many years
@@Fokas-n8t Or guilt.
"Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be."
-Clementine Paddleford
Great quote.. ❤
That’s deep
Wow, I love that!!! 🤩
That is an awesome saying! Truly inspired. I love the Lord , that saying should be in his Psalms😮✝️✡️🛐!!!
That is an awesome quote. Really makes one think. Thanks for sharing!
Of course he doesn't want a divorce. He's got a live in maid that helps him pay bills.
Nope he doesn’t want to get divorce graped to kingdom come. Reason why most men don’t want to marry
And a married woman as a side chick so he’ll never have to be responsible for the second woman either.
I’m sure she also takes care of all appointments, children birthdays and school trips, any interactions with relatives and their problems etc
Maid? Pay bills? Have you ever lived with a woman. Modern women do none of these.
@@Nastasyashanti Right. If she leaves now she won't have to put up with this MoFo for the rest of her life.
This is the first call that was actually frustrating for me to listen too. 18 years and your asking for a "hello".
Those dudes will tell you they need loyalty and support.
He doesn't even respect her.
Dude, saying hello to your wife is work. Absolute LOSER!!!!!
My heart is broken for her, he has clearly took everything from her including her self worth. Please caller leave. You are on your own anyway. Leave and feel love again ❤
It saddens me that she thinks it's what she deserves. My hope is that she heals her wounds and finally finds someone who loves/appreciates her
This resonates with me bc after 17 years of marriage ended the ONLY thing he sees that he should've done different is to say hello to me when he gets home from work.
And years prior our marriage counselor told me in our private session..." I can keep taking your money, but until you realize who you're married to, I can't help you!"
And it took me SEVEN more miserable lonely years to finally say I'm done.
I get so frustrated listening to a person listing, in detail, 50 million red flags and STILL wishing.
“He already left you.” That was such a raw, crushing, sentence of truth.
Freedom is scary.
Mentally left her a long time a go
Of course he doesn't want a divorce. You clean his house, wash his clothes cook his meals. I wouldn't want you to leave either
...pay his bills, too.
She gets way more freedom to clean after herself in her own home than with him who doesn't even enjoy being there with her. Alot of work for "hope"
He along with most men sadly, has Madonna Whore Complex. They want to have their domestic slave at home and a side piece for their sexual relations. Selfish, hellbound pricks!
Exactly! He just doesn't want to let his mommy nr. 2 leave
…and also believe his girlfriend is just a friend. He doesn’t have to lose half of his assets. 🤷♂️
He’s just gaslighting her so that she divorces him first. He wants to be the victim. I’m so sorry for her this is terrible
thats why 85% of divorces are initiated by women. And most men point at this as a reason to blame women, yet men play this stupid mind game of acting out until the woman leaves because they dont want to lose the unpaid labor and 1/2 the marital assets... they see marital assets as "Theirs" failing to put ANY worth on a woman who did everything they claimed they wanted, stayed home, gave up career, had their children and raised them cooked, kept a home and supported his career, took care of him when sick and yet he sees no value in those things...because its not a PAID EMPLOYMENT.....
He doesnt fancy her, maybe she has put on a ton of weight or let herself go
Thanks for the laws which will give 50% from everything in addition to tons of child support for woman and when you will ask her to sign prenup to protect yourself she refuse because she plans to take everything
That’s what women do. Nobody is going to see the guy as the victim anyhow.
Yes, some men don't want to be the ones to file. It sounds crazy but it's true.
Coming from a male perspective, she is in denial. My wife would have left me as soon as she found out I was texting another girl goodnight.
Yikes 😂
@@truthtelleranonhow is that yikes?? Would you want that?
Agree.
You have a great wife!
He's trying to save face. He's playing passive-aggressive in getting her to divorce him.
RIGHT!!! And then he'll join the chorus of men whining "Women file the majority of divorces! Us men are VICTIMS!" 🤨
@@SENSEF this guy is the outlier. What you said in a sarcastic tone though, unfortunately, is absolutely the truth.
@@michaelallen1154statistically, for millenia, he's not an outlier. Sadly
@@michaelallen1154there's really no way to know for sure either way if he is indeed an outlier so it's best if we don't even make the claim
Yeah he wants out but he doesn't want to look like the bad guy. He wants her to be the one to file for the divorce.
If he stopped having sex with her, he is getting it elsewhere. Even worse, he feels more faithful to that other woman and being with his lawful wife feels like cheating. I feel so bad for this woman, she sounds very decent.
Not necessarily but in this case, probably. Or it's just an emotional affair and he has no intention of changing that because he's getting what he needs. It's not all about sex, it's about feeling wanted and needed and happy. Sex is just one part and men can live without it too.
@@ElimEx1 Men can live without sex? ☝🏾Ok. 🙄But, they won't. 🤷🏾♀
@@ElimEx1Nope, they can't.
@@adnanorochi3761 Really? Cause i'm pretty sure I do and so do millions of men who are married. Been 6-7 years for me. You learn to cope and become more productive in every other aspect of your life.
@@ElimEx1Which is....sad
When a man says “I don’t know why she left” I say “That’s why she left.”
Exactly! 🎯
Yes, that's because of the lack of communication most times.
💯
100% blindsided? You mean you didn't listen to her? I see.
Women think giving vague hints is communicating. They're seldom direct, and most of the time, women divorce to go chase Chad or due to bad advice from single/divorced friends.
"He's already left you." 😢
Exactly!!
Yes, emotionally he deserted her a year ago.
Such a sad and true statement 😢
Her husband and his "friend" have been planking each other for quite some time.
Exactly he’s been gone,and she might be playing the victim here,when he probably let her know I don’t love you anymore,i want out!!!!
I gasper when I heard he told her if she leaves, he won't fight for her to stay. My heart aches for her. It feels horrible
If someone leaves, they leave. I wouldn't fight for anyone. I'd just say, "ok. Bye!" Then I'd never speak to them again. Never beg someone to stay with you.
Poor lady take your things go ..
@@Chet_24but in this situation he's not mentally there. He's getting his relationship needs meet by his coworker. He's already left. Is it fair to the wife to suffer in a marriage? No it isn't.
I lived in a sexless marriage for awhile-he pretended like that’s just how he was; that he had a low sex drive or maybe even low testosterone issues. But after his Mom passed away (she had Alzheimer’s, & required a lot of visits & work) he divorced me for someone else. That was 24 years ago, and I’m STILL angry & hurt if I think about it too much.
Just so you know- he is the same way in his next/current relationship. It wasn't about you!
Did you end up finding someone new? How old are you?
You need to speak to a therapist
A lot of things can kill libido - meds, wife who doesn’t care for herself, a woman’s gross habits/hygiene. It might not all be the man’s fault believe it or not.
listen honey. not every woman has that in them just like men.
He’s having an affair and no balls to divorce his wife.
My Ex wouldn't say it either. Then he decided a loaded pu pu needed to be pointed a my chest. She needs to be careful.
A cowardly Cheat
It's not "no balls." He's abusing her and reaping the benefits of the home she maintains for him.
💯
The other woman is married too. How weird and hurtful this all is.
What’s worse is that her husband is actually capable of being decent just not for her. 😢 I pray she heals.
He’ll do the same thing to the next one. And the next one.
@@ScottishTerrorsInLAmost likely yes
This part 💔💔💔
@@ScottishTerrorsInLA Yes. Husband is an abuser of women. They're all the same to him -- commodities and objects. He's the one with the real problem here.
oh it’s just temporary with the new women too.
Thank you for this. My husband still here but he left me a long time ago. Told me today he still loves me but stopped caring for me. Only here for the kids. 2025 will be a new year for me…and it does include him. A new beginning. I can’t waste my life. Life is short. I have to do it even if it’s hard and it hurts.
I feel so bad for this woman. 18 years and she thought him saying just hello 2 days a week was things going well while hes texting another woman to begin and end his day. You are worth so much more. Please find happiness ❤ You deserve it.
What is she doing to deserve it? If she is so fat her husband won't have sex with her....she is bigger than the average American soldier in wwii and some nfl wide receivers
You don’t know his side, she sounds like a nightmare
@@FreePickCapper then he should divorce her to save himself.
@@FreePickCapperthen why can’t he agree to the divorce. he’s obviously content staying legally married to her, she takes care of the house while he goes out whenever and wherever he wants with whoever he wants with no repercussions.
I don't know the other side of the story so I can't say.
To me this sounds like the relationship became a chore not a passion.
1. You guys just celebrated 18 years, but he didn’t acknowledge it 🚩🚩🚩
2. He never say good night to you, but he says good morning and good night to the “lady friend” 🚩🚩🚩
3. She told her that he cherish her 🚩🚩🚩
4. He comes home two hours late from work and ignores you 🚩🚩🚩
5. Telling you to be friends with someone he knowns you are uncomfortable with 🚩🚩🚩
6. Two therapist told you to get a divorce 🚩🚩🚩
Lady love yourself and get out of this crappy marriage. He is emotionally abusing you and making you feel like you are the crazy!!
@@randybobandy9828triggered by the truth, huh?
I don't know what she's waiting for?🤔
@@knowthyself8233 there is no truth to it lmao. Not saying goodnight isn't emotional abuse 🤣🤣🤣
🎯🎯🎯
So true!!!
7. Reading texts from co-worker's friend that she's going to be HEARTBROKEN if he doesn't attend BBQ 🚩🚩🚩
8. Storming off during therapy bc he called out for not doing the bare minimum 🚩🚩🚩
9. Telling this co-worker everything going on in his marriage 🚩🚩🚩
10. No sex for a year, coincidentally around the time he's becoming besties with female coworker 🚩🚩🚩
There was nothing in that call that gave me the impression that this man wanted to keep his marriage. He wants her to stay out of convenience for him but he does not care about her as a human being. It's beyond disgusting and she deserves so much more than that. Love yourself enough to leave this situation.
Even if there was a universe where he wasn’t cheating (although it is most certainly, at the very least, an emotional affair), the fact is that he’s willing to say “hello,” “good morning/night,” and “I cherish you” to a friend over text but not to the woman he shares a life and home with. If that doesn’t scream that he doesn’t care one iota about her, I don’t know what does.
Yeh it's the contempt
After being in a dead bedroom situation, I don’t think I can ever be convinced it’s not a form of emotional abuse. Honesty is always the best option. Always.
Definitely not every time, my husband also had his problems when he was in a bad place emotionally and job wise. But he communicated it.
Cutting all ties emotionally and physically is so much worse though! I hope you’re being treated better now!
I agree! Sex is used as a manipulation on both ends- to give and withhold. I was married to a man who did this frequently.
Sexless marriage and then he said I don’t know why I just don’t know why I am like this. 20 years of this. I am emotionally broken. I have depression and anxiety. He is in therapy and saying he is now addressing all his traumas. All of them with EMDR
Well I feel traumatized, neglected like a shell of myself. I don’t know what to do. I have two children with him. I wish with this therapy we could have a miracle. I pray everyday for a miracle. We were so in love when we first met and sex was not an issue then.
@@VanessaSimon26I’m going through this with my wife of 20 years. She swears it isn’t me as far as why she doesn’t want it anymore but I’m not getting there as far as believing it. It’s so hard and I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to be intimate at least once a week 🤷♂️.
@@VanessaSimon26 Not in a place to give advice but just asking you to think about yourself. Just ask yourself if you need him to be who you are or to feel good or to be the person you dreamed to become... If all the answers are: I really don't need him to be me: leave.
If the answers are: I need him to be me: find a therapist.
You need to focus on yourself at this point. You need some internal structure, to find your backbone, to find the real you, to out on your own skin and be yourself again. Stop deflecting to him and his needs, and his wants and his feelings and his problems...
This is no way to live. You're in a battle ground fighting yourself, and fighting ghosts of the past and of the future, completely ignoring the present.
I really, really hope you can find yourself again.💜
Get out, girl. He's having an affair. Cut your losses and move forward without him.
Our psychiatrist told me privately that I needed to divorce my husband. I tried to make it work, but I should have listened to her. We did divorce, and I was hospitalized after having a nervous breakdown
Dint divorce unless he's cheating. Separate if there's abuse.
Oh boyyy......
All she needed to say is that her husband started a "friendship" with a coworker.........🧐🙄 You're in denial lady!!!!
Casey can't run away from this guy fast enough.
After some long experiences with women close to me who were in the state she is in, I now view them differently. I no longer believe they're any better than the men they prioritize and vicariously gain self esteem from.
@@temposhop8739 What are you talking about? “Vicariously gain self-esteem”? If you don’t gain self-esteem from your intimate relationships, then you haven’t been in intimate relationships. But there’s nothing vicious about that. And what did this woman do that comes anywhere close to shutting off intimacy with his wife and finding it with another woman?
@@greenAbbot I have healthy intimate relationships and have also had front row seats to what it looks like when people (women, in my case, since I am one an most of my close friends are also) have no self worth and prop themselves up with being attached to a man who doesn't care about her. Much like addicts like to say "my substance is medicine" or "it expands my consciousness."
It takes a level of delusion to justify that their reliance makes them a better person.
You seem deeply upset by my comment to have interpreted it as blaming the woman for her man cheating. How asinine.
@@temposhop8739 I interpret this as you saying the woman needs to take accountability for accepting known situations like this, and also as a woman I agree. He shouldn't cheat on her for sure, but we also need to know when to leave or else we'll be stuck in a victimized state. It's definitely hard to realize this, but once I did it became easier to not tolerate certain men and leave when necessary.
When I hear that women file the large majority of divorces, I have to wonder how many are doing so because of a situation like this - the husband is happy as a clam having an affair with another woman, and the wife acting as maid at home. He's certainly not going to file as he's perfectly happy with the status quo - filing is on her, just another task that's been dumped on her, and when she does file it'll add to the statistic of women filing divorce.
When you remove men from the equation divorce actually goes up. Lesbians have the highest rate of divorce, followed by straight couples, and gay men are least likely to divorce
BINGO.
🎯
Exactly. "Cheaper to keep her". They have a built in maid and childcare.
Exactly. Women get the blame for filing for divorce more but the reasons why are somehow never investigated.
He doesn’t want a divorce because he’s allowed to have an affair and also keep you in the house.
She is settling for so little, it’s heartbreaking. John isn’t being hard on her, he is trying to make her see that her husband is not man and human enough to be upfront and do the right thing. He is being cruel indeed, he is gaslighting her and treating her like a child, telling her that nothing is going on with the other woman. He is not leaving her because it serves him, he is having his way and completely disregards the fact that his wife is drowning and torturing herself. He is a disgusting human being and she will be so much better off without him.
🎯
Amen
I agree but I'm a hypocrite because I'm in the exact same situation 🫠😭
So sad
@@menak8870 Please don't 't be hard on yourself because of your abuse and trauma. I, often think that the majority of relationships have some form and level of it. Also, the lockdown added a whole other onion to everything...Some people who left, should have stayed and some who stayed, should have left. Life is difficult to navigate, if you're not perfect. 🤷🏾♀I send you prayer, cheer, love and peace. 🙏🏾💐💞
PS. You are awesome for realizing, acknowledging and admitting publicly, that you are a hypocrite...There is blessing in doing so. Most of us stay stuck on realization. I, don't know you, but I love you, and I am rooting for you.
She needs to get a private detective to find the proof he is cheating. Then confront him with the truth. He is staying to avoid financial loss, not because he vowed “until death do us part.” He is a total coward!
Wasted money- the signs and evidence is too apparent.
I think he is staying because the mistress is married and not leaving her husband.
Spot on. If the gf was single, hed have left in a heattbeat.@Valerielopez2002
If the investigator proves cheating, she doesn't need to confront him. She needs to serve him with divorce papers and have the proof of him cheating presented in court.
An emotional affair is still an affair.
That was deep!!! “You don’t have hope but you are wishing”….”he has already left you but he staying in the same bed”……….. I think sometimes we just need to hear it straight out like that….
I can’t imagine giving another woman something my wife said she needed from me. I also would be devastated if my wife considered me saying hi to be “putting in work”
Absolutely.. same with a wife you give your love and devotion to the other person not anyone else.
Run.
He literally said if she left he wouldn't fight for her.
He's having an emotional affair.
His behavior won't stop.
I completely understand her, and I hate that I do.
Yeah I agree it sounds more like an affair affair.
He comes home 2 hours late from work and is not intimate with his wife anymore... Yeah, it's a full fledged physical affair.
❤❤😢
One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn in life is that words (like i love you) are only words. You have to pay attention to actions, because that's the truth. People lie, but their actions tell on them.
If you are not happy in your marriage, have the courage and decency to end it instead of cheating on your spouse.
Totally agree.
@@howmoon67if women didn't clay for every penny and try to destroy the man in a divorce more men would lol
Men need side chicks
@@nly4607 aha. So he has no balls to stay a truthful husband and your Argument for not divorcing is the money?
You know that in that case her worries about money are the least, also he is actually owing her emotional injury compensation, if he is lying and gaslighting her.
@MiaMizuno "emotional injury compensation"
I would agree with this argument for children but adults don't owe other adults because they hurt their feelings....lol that is a child's idea.
If you are arguing that women should have the legal status of children that is another matter entirely
She knew, she needed someone to confirm it.
How many confirmation she needs
She already had 2 professionals confirm it before the call
He won't divorce, he's making her do the big step. She has no life at all let alone in her marriage. He benefits if she gave him the papers, but she would be happier if she did
She’s just so lost and has been brought down emotionally, sometimes people need someone or multiples to tell them…it’s so hard to leave :(
She did not need anyone to confirm it. This poor sap has given 18 years of her life. Its almost a jail sentence she has served. Choose to spend your precious future on yourself. Your worse than alone right now. I am so sorry. Time to face facts. Just cold turkey it. Take your dignity back. May God give you and everyone who needs or will need it strength.
Him getting upset with her, and their therapist…..major red flag. 🚩 😢
Not at all. Therapists are usually referees who seek for ways to pathologize men.
And getting upset with your woman is normal
I can't imagine living a single day knowing my husband has a female "friend" that he turns to in confidence when he won't even greet me when he comes home?!? Oh, sweetheart....they've been more than friends for a loooong time. He's _"her person"?!?!?_ Are you kidding me?! I'd be on her front porch faster than she could blink her eyes! I'd be DEMANDING a face to face conversation with her AND her husband to see if he's also aware of their _special bond!_ Sounds like he's been checked out too long to save this sinking ship. But before I walked out that door, I'd do EVERYTHING I could to tear apart her world as well. That "friend" knows exactly what she's been doing to this woman's marriage!
Exactly! Couldnt agree more!
Didnt she say this person is married too? Id be talking to that huaband too.
I agree. This woman even told her to get a divorce. Homewrecker. 😢 Sometimes it’s not just the man but the two in the affair that SUCK. ❤😢
To be fair... The friend didn't do anything to that marriage.
@@ineedhoezeither way though she knows better. Stay out of someone's marriage. She may not be the reason for the breaking but she's not doing anything to help it either. She needs to butt out!
Husband is absolutely cheating. Even if it’s through text.
The relationship that he is having on the side is not a friendship. This is definitely an affair.
i just never got the meaning of man/woman friendship. It NEVER happens, I have been married 52 years and I never had a male friend, any males that I considered "friends" are my husband's friends NEVER mine. I have a few female friends and again they are primarily mine, not his.
Trust me, they're having sex. Men are not that evolved or that deep and I love them, think they're awesome and so glad that God created them. 'IF', they're not having sex, he needs to come out, maybe she does too or has the lowest self- esteem and is so desperate or she's trying to make her spouse chase her because she's in the wife's situation too, or getting revenge on her husband for cheating on her. ☝🏾🤷🏾♀💯
@@westaussieeggs8867so true. Even if you try to be normal friends with the opposite sex sooner or later at least one of you will catch feelings for the other and it's not longer a friendship or someone gets hurt
@@westaussieeggs8867 I don't agree with you at all. I have had amazing male friends and it absolutely was platonic. I've been married for 20 years.
@@westaussieeggs8867wrong I have married women friends at work, that's all it is period. They are amazing women.
My husband was no contact from the honeymoon onward. He was gay and lied to live a double life. He’s since died of AIDS. He was a narcissistic emotional abuser and blamed me for everything that was wrong. My counselor helped me leave him. Was a bad dream tbh
Dear girl. Love yourself. That’s the only change you need to make. Fall in love with your absolutely authentic and unchanged self 💯
I needed to hear this as well.. thank you for this comment.
@@NickeyVamp You got it, babe! 💐♥️😘
He is cheating, I don't have a single doubt about that. My ex went through the exact same shift in behaviors. She would come home from work late and then go right to bed. Wouldn't cuddle. Wouldn't talk to me. Got to a point I felt like a roomate. Turned out she was going on secret dates with a male coworker and hooked up with him in our house when I wasn't home. My bet is both therapists see it clear as day and are hoping she figures it out through their talks vs confronting her with the truth head on.
The therapists should have just laid it out, they are not helping by ‘being polite’
Not always the case. I have a coworker who treats his wife like this. He texts back and forth with himself and his wife thinks it’s a female friend (it’s the google voice # and fake email). She even wastes money hiring a PI to follow him, but he pretends to be unaware. He doesn’t cheat, he jokingly admits that he uses a lot of lotion to take care of himself. He still respect her, does speak ill of her, he no longer wants to be intimate with her. He doesn’t sleep with her on purpose because he wants her to cheat on him, fall out of love him and leave him for someone else.
He found out via video evidence that she slept with her ex 6 days before they got married. They’ve been married 13 years and he doesn’t look at her the same. He has not touched her since he watched the video. He says she’s even wearing the engagement ring and he watched her ex take of a dress her brought her 2 weeks before they married and they didn’t use protection. He says he will never confront her about it since she already knows it happened and she didn’t tell him so he prefers she continues to believe he doesn’t know. He forgives her and he’ll never throw it in her face, he just prefers her to dislike and fall out of love with him moving forward. Things aren’t always what they seem and * some people move in weird ways and do things differently.*
@@standground7956 Why go through all that work? Just divorce her or have Christ enter his heart and forgive her and move on. I don’t focus on my husbands mind games, indiscretions, lies or cheating (no proof, only him hinting at it and acting weird). I focus on what I am grateful for and what I love about him. He has been acting like a roommate since we got married. Going on two years. He wore a mask dating and engagement and slowly pulled it off after marriage here and there. Spiritual warfare is real. People need to make moves and not be cowards forcing others to act. Shaking head*
@@standground7956 He’s a simp… why did he stay 13 years with her? He should dump her…
@@devadii24 Simp? I don’t think you understand the timeline. He dated his wife for three years, they got engaged and then married. So they’re happily married for 13years. If you saw them they still looked like they were dating, having fun, flirting and pretty cool couple to be around. The jealous ex recently sent him the video (3 months ago), so he was unaware she cheated on him. He forgives her but he says if he can dislike him, fall out of love with him, grow to hate his guts, then dump him then he’ll know for sure that she settled and never truly wanted him. Does that make sense?
Thank you for your bluntness. This put my marriage is perspective.
I do feel bad for the caller. She sounds like she still loves him, but he doesn’t love her at all.
She sounds naive
@@Bunny11344 she sounds fat and therefore lazy and worthless
😞 just sad
Don’t stay with
Anyone who doesn’t want to be with you or respects you. Being lonely is not the same as being alone. Love is an inside job .
@@marilyndalen3197 the fastest growing homeless demographic in america is women
the minute you stop having sex is the moment when it all comes crumbling down. not necessarily because sex is crucial to a relationship but because a lot of the time one or both partners rely on sex to shrink the gap of intimacy, and once that is gone they realize they've been using that as a crutch to avoid doing the hard work of non-sexual intimacy necessary in a marriage
Agreed with that assessment. I’m glad my husband and I are friends first.
With the exception of physical problems or stress. But yeahhh. h
Don't disagree with the second part but for many (most?) people it's also crucial.
My asexual relationship is the best relationship I’ve ever had.
@@daysleepnightread6905 Interesting.
My wife and I did 24 years this year. I surprised her with a weekend get away. We've had some very hard years and wanting to walk away at times, but we've put in the work, and I love her now more than ever.
Congratulations for being intentional to keep your marriage
Casey, cut your losses and leave, sweetie. I was in this kind of marriage for 14 years. It won't change. He wants a maid and someone to take care of him without the obligation of you. You are a human being, you deserve love, affection, intimacy on every level, someone who delights in you and looks at you with stars in their eyes!! THIS is NOT IT.
HE _IS_ UNSAFE!!!! Him neglecting you is silently KILLING you, safe my batootie. It's emotional MURDER. Stop kidding yourself!
It IS emotional AND physiological murder because the level of rejection and neglect she is experiencing is also increasing her cortisol levels, causing daily stress which affects a human being on a cellular level and causes reduction in her health, elevates risk factors for cancer and that can end her life so it IS murder!!!!! I lived this with this toxic person I have been legally married to for almost 10 years. Why am I telling you this? I was very healthy, but in 10 years with this emotionally withholding man, I am “legally married to, I have had lost my youngest daughter (we have no children together) because he was negligent in securing his gun. (Bullet in chamber, left on top of laundry to be folded on the bed, I had my thyroid removed due to cancer….. kept going forward but he would lecture me like a parent everyday (yelling and instructing and I am educated and he just went to high school) then I was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer which is terminal…… and finally told him that I needed to fight a battle for my life and I am unwilling to have my children (all grown 40’s and 50’s) grieve another member of their family by losing me as well as their sister because of this one man, a retired cop who, now I realize that part of his personal “retirement” plan was grifting me to enhance his living situation at my house. Fortunately I owned my home, so I managed to get him to move out. He yelled and screamed like a child for a full 48 hours (LOUDLY) preceeding the day he moved out. This is a retired cop! I am now in remission because I at 70 finally learned to establish boundaries, consciously decided to take my heart back for myself, and although “terminal”, my self confidence is back to being me and not what a man thinks I should be or do. My Creator God loves me with an undying love and my confidence is found in God alone! The marriage? That’s difficult at now 74, but I’m working on that one next. I live with purpose without him…….I see a man with no purpose who lives a life of coverup and avoidance and never smiles unless he gets attention. It is very toxic. Don’t let this cause you to be silently “murdered” every day because it results in loss of your own life.
I am feeling the same thing..I am getting rejected so many times as well and I am just done.
So this had nothing to do with lack of sex, not really. It’s more about the fact this guy has already just left and has found his new woman already.
Yeah one clicks this video expecting a mess but its a tornado after a tsunami
Precisely. The lack of sex is a more complex issue, often related to trauma/autism, but this is the story of an ended marriage
but the other woman is married
I hear the pain in her voice and it absolutely breaks my heart to the core to hear her pain.
This makes me sad because I see my past self in this lady. I spent 12 years begging my husband to love me, hug me, give me the human decency of a hello, goodmorning, anything. I hope she left and is learning to love herself. Sending her so much love. She’s going to be truly happy once she loves herself❤
Men should never hug there wife's
And men should never love there women cause women don't love there husbands unconditionally or for real why should men
Did you end up finding someone to give that to you?
And what did you do wrong for him to not do any of those things anymore? Nagging? Bad attitude? Gained weight? Men don't change for no reason
@@TC-yx1qt you know what, you are absolutely true. He never changed, he showed me who he was from the beginning and I stupidly thought he would change and see and appreciate me at some point but he never did.
He doesn’t want you to change. He doesn’t want you at all.
Married men have no business having a female friend. Tell me I'm wrong.
The way she’s rationalizing her mistreatment is insane ❤
Most women do this for their entire lives.
She's been emotionally abused and gaslit.
People who have grown up in abusive childhoods, even just narcissistic parents, the child will grow up to accept mistreatment by people pleasing.
This is almost identical to what my former husband did to me. It's tough to see. My husband's mistress was in another country that he visited frequently for work. They have been married for over a decade. It is emotional abuse and gaslighting.
@@kg811 Im so sorry to hear. So, do men pick and choose who they want to emotionally abuse and gaslight ? Isnt it a trait of a narcassit to abuse and gaslight. How is it possible he is not emotinally abusing and gaslighting his new wife ? Because abusive men are abusive in every relationship, they cant control themselves.
This is the same guy who crawls into comment sections later seething that "Women initiate divorce 70% of the time!" and "She divorced me out of nowhere!" and "She used me for my money!" Big yuck.
Yep. There's a big responsibility problem with men these days. Not all, but they can be so selfish and emotionally abusive for real it's crazy.
Yep. He is probably saying "What did I do"? LOL
Yup. “ I never saw it coming “
No that’s a different situation. More women cheat and break up marriages
@Femtoisbackandbetter I support a culture of life, my friend. You're barking up the wrong tree here
I sincerly pray for this caller. I am so sorry your husband is like this. I hope you find peace in your next phase of life and know you are worth more than this.
There are two types of pain in this world. pain that hurts you and pain that changes you maybe it's time for a change.
He is carrying on a full fledged relationship in front of her face and she refuses to recognize it or be honest with herself about it. My question would be is this her first adult relationship and has she every asked him why he is no longer attracted to her? She needs to walk away. He is emotionally attached to his co-worker. Its over.
Maybe she's let herself go ? Lots of women stop trying to look nice once they've found a partner they let themselves go
@@wolvezy quite possible. She really didn't share what she may have done to contribute to what's happening in her marriage. I have a sneaking suspicion that when her dad was going through his medical emergency she withdrew from the marriage due to the stress of it all (which is totally normal) and her husband did not try to remain in the sanctity of the relationship and sought comfort elsewhere.
It does sound like she just doesn't have enough relationship experience to tell the difference between your partner losing attraction to you versus simply not liking you as a person in a fundamental sort of way.
Yep! John was on point when he said it's not 'hope' it's a 'wish'. She needs to live in reality, not wishes because the wishing will only bring her more misery.
@@wolvezymaybe but not likely if she's doing well she can to try to make it better, and asked him what she could possibly do. Regardless it's on him that he's moved outside the marriage for all these things thwn claiming he's still in it and she's the one who has to end it if she wants to. She should end it, but he's already been on infidelity for a long time in so many ways.
Sweetheart, I know just how you’re feeling. Same happened to me. Scenario is so close to mine it’s spooky. He’s right when he said your husband has already left you. In my case, I tried everything to keep us together, but he wasn’t interested. I finally realized I couldn’t live like that anymore. I was so lonely and mentally tired from playing games. I found emails to a much younger woman. I still tried keeping him. He was done with me. After finding emails I confronted him and he denied it, even though it was there in black and white. I had to be the brave one and say, it’s over, I need you to leave. You must do the same. That’s no life. You deserve love and affection. Make a long story short, my heart was broken but eventually I learned to overcome my depression about it. I ended up with a man that treated me like a partner, a human being. He turned out to be the love of my life. Do this for yourself. There is a better life waiting for you. You can do it and you WILL be alright. My best hopes for you.
His girl “friend” is his love interest. Case closed. Get divorced. Find someone who cherishes YOU.
Jeesh I’m so heartbroken for her.. You need to love yourself enough to know you deserve more than this. I hope she finds the strength to do what he’s not manly enough to do, leave.
YOU get divorce and he’s ok with it. If YOU “walk out the door”, if “YOU want to leave, just leave”. It sounds like he’s also saying YOU pay for the divorce and YOU move out and leave him the house! Get a lawyer, have him served at HIS job, and leave HIS suitcases on YOUR porch!
Absolutely
This husband is a complete coward using his wife as his maid. He does not have the integrity nor balls to divorce her because his mistress is also still married/taken, so he uses his wife until she is completely broken to simply fix his needs of basic caretaking in the household. For him saying he does not want to divorce her on top of that makes me say he is downright abusive and does not see his wife as a human being deserving of respect.
He. Doesn't. Care. Divorce. Him.
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Dr. D. You are a lot more blunt and tough on women.
You decide to devorce when the pain of staying is worse then the fear of leaving.
This comment is great.. absolutely true.
Truth
I love this.
My heart breaks for her - I could have been her 7 years ago. I'm on the other side of unwinding 30 years with my college sweetheart. Took a good 4 years of recovering but I am SO SO SO happy on the other side. You got this sister!
Amazing comment.. I am greatful for this comment it gives me hope for happiness.
‘What do i have to do to get my husband to love me?’
It should be, what does he have to do to get me to trust and love him?
Also i know us non-therapists shouldn’t use this word and diagnose, however, i feel he is a Narcissist. Which means his ego and strength in his childhood must’ve been beaten down real bad.
It should be equal, otherwise it's a waste of time for both.
She isn't ready to let go and it's so sad! I hope she finds the courage to leave and work on building back her self-esteem.
Leave him and glow up! You deserve to be happy.
This is what I am working on.. loving myself for my children. ❤
@@NickeyVamp you got this ❤️
That analogy woke my ass up about my ex. He had aspergers and adhd and the easiest stuff, he was bullshitting on and guilt tripping me for telling him the truth about his actions. He also had abusive trauma and never seemed fully healed from it. There was nothing this lady could've done to build the intimacy, it takes 2. Not just her. And I felt her pain. Took me 2.5 yrs to leave.
Sometimes I feel like John makes excuses for these men. This man isn't exhausted. He's gaslighting this woman and emotionally abusing her. And she's so determined to be married she's just ignoring it. He's already checked out of the marriage and she keeps hanging on.
He’s spot on at 17:20
I think he does that sometimes to validate the caller's view and open them up to listen to him - and only then telling them the actual truth so they can properly process it. But that's my guess, since I do agree with you.
Did we watch the same video?
No, John is 100% right she's putting everything on her husband she's even waiting for him to call for a divorce, this lady is not taking care of herself at all and I wouldn't be surprised if that was a huge problem in this marriage
SHE initiated comms re issues, she accepts HIS dishonest/stone walling replies, SHE initiated therapy, SHE is the 1 working on their marriage,AND keeping house/feeding and maintaining HIS 'adult' existence, why aren't you faulting him for HIS lack of self responsibility?Also, MAYBe if he was honouring any of their marriage vows, SHE'd have heaps of time, energy, interest to "self care".At worst, this poor lady is/has become anxiously attached,and is extringently motivated, & lost her own individuality/sense of self.Surprise, it's a 18year! marriage, close to half marriages end in divorce?You know what the other half 'end up' in? codependency.She thought she was in a (loving/comitted) long marriage! I think 1-3years of cognitive dissonnance,PLUS husbands' contradiction of therapists/gaslighting is understandable. She has been betrayed. Also, HIS behaviour with another woman is appalling,adds to his emotional neglect/abuse of his WIFE.Forget 'love', where is the 'honour' here?! @bambuco2
Wow, you can hear her world coming down on her. I wish her so much luck and love in her future 🧡
I feel for her, I was in a relationship like this, in that he quit. He fell out of love with me after almost 10 years, just stopped trying, and actively avoided intimacy. It went on for at least a year, maybe more, with me getting progressively more frantic. I was holding on to him tighter and tighter, while he grew more and more distant from me.
I was desperate to not see it. I loved him so much, and I didn't want to admit to myself that it was over. Finally, he got to the point that he asked me to leave. I was utterly devastated. Still cry if I think about him too much, still heartbroken over it 2 years later.
He was the love of my life, but being alone is FAR better than that hellacious limbo of not knowing, of not wanting to see. Of being the only one of a pair, trying to work on a relationship that the other half had already washed their hands of.
I wish her the very best, and I hope she can find the courage to stop waiting for him to man up and be open and honest with her about where he stands in the relationship. She's going to have to be the one to walk away.
What ? He asked you to leave ? You should’ve said YOU LEAVE ASSHOLE
Women don't love there men for real or unconditionally cause women don't truly love there husbands
Well women withhold sex from there men all the time men should do the same
@@chris-gx7rs What does that even mean 😂??
@@chris-gx7rs I would say you could do better than that, but apparently Not
Dr. Delony is that person everyone needs in their life! Straight shooter! Honest! May sound harsh but you need to hear it! 🙌🏼
Poor poor woman. What a horrible man to slowly destroy her like that. He's cheating on her, plain and simple.
I just want to hug you girl,I know the feeling too well.Please know that you aren't alone,we women go through so much but when we rise,we are risen!! I send my love to you,things don't remain the same forever,get up,cry and walk away.I hope you find peace,love comes right after ❤
Sounds like he doesn't want the guilt of breaking the promise. Even though he's already checked out.
Yup. He's a coward and wants HER to end the marriage so he can play the victim.
This is me and my husband.... amazingly familiar and spot on
This is heart breaking. So many red flags! Time to pack your bags and leave lady. For your own sanity and peace of mind. Better to be on your own and be happy. HE HAS CHECKED OUT!!!
He’s in love with his coworker but he’s cowardly and is afraid of hurting your feelings. You gotta ask him for a divorce.
This was so hard to listen to. I'm not sure how she didn't break down crying in this conversation; she's incredibly strong. I know I would have. I wish her all the happiness that she deserves.
Why are so many commenters so rude toward the woman? This is a crappy situation, and she is struggling to accept it, but being rude to her reflects very poorly on the people who are being rude.
Haven't seen any rude comments towards her. "Husband" is C word.
I agree - this isn’t easy for anyone involved - easier said than done
Who’s being rude? Telling her she needs to move on isn’t being rude.
Being rude is what she needs she doesn’t have anybody to yank her into reality
A married man being this friendly with another woman is not normal. She needs to leave this guy asap he’s a poor excuse for a husband.
Tell that to my ex. Too many stories. One less serious incident that really hurts me to this day is when he got back from work one day and I asked how was work, he said it was fine. I said did anything happen, good or bad? He snapped at me and said "it was just work, what do you expect?". Later that night, I saw him texting a female coworker and he said "I miss talking to you about work, how come we don't talk anymore?" She proceeded to say it was because she thought I didn't like her. I never said that. I felt terrible. He wanted to talk to her about work but not me.
@@UltraGalacticSuperFantasticglad he’s an ex
As a bisexual male , that's married to a male that has been only with women and and has having the same intimacy issues . And me doing everything around the house. This is so eye opening.
Even her first question out of the gate, showed the depth of the denial she is living in
Let it go lady. He's just not into you. Divorce him and move on with your life.
She did not mention kids. If there are not kids, there is no reason to stay with him.
It's a hard road. Easy to say but difficult to actually do.
"he's just not into you" is an extremely childish oversimplification. Must be speaking from experience
Your comment failed to stick the landing
That line works with dating. Not with marriage.
5:40 girl this man is lying to you. There’s definitely something going on. Are you kidding?!?
This happened to my father in law and mother in law. He couldn’t understand why she wanted a divorce-he provided a roof over her head and all of the necessities. I felt so bad for her, but she is happily remarried and is having a wonderful life!
It’s over. He has 100% checked out. You deserve so much more than this.
That poor woman, her husband won't even say hello to her. That's vile behavior.
I'm a complete socially awkward introvert but even I smile and say hello/good morning to people I walk by on the sidewalk in the morning going to work and they're total strangers I've never seen before.
Exactly, he's checked out big time
I had a relationship like this.. he liked a married coworker, I was a live in maid.. i also work from home, split the bills, made dinner, cleaned etc.
I feel like I will always have trust issues and never want to get married now. It’s time to accept the truth and let it all go.
It’s men like this who make make women’s lives miserable then blame women for the divorce
YEP! Drove her to it then will cry "victim" and "blindsided" by it. 🤨
Yes and they are ok with that.
Do you know how she treated him for the last 5, 10 or 20 years?
@@mniks8860 no idea, but what I do know is he needs to leave or do better.
If she filed for divorce than yes the blame is on her, it's called personal responsibility. Women have no accountability and all the excuses.
Wow, this totally sounds like my 19 year relationship. (Except no cheating). I just , 2 months ago, decided to end it. We have a daughter who is 17. And the decision made me feel amazing. The transition is stressful , but that initial feeling when I decided was proof I made the right decision.
The husband reminder that they agrees in the beginning of their marriage to never get a divorce but he forgets that he vowed to love her, honor her and protect her yet he has left her in the most painful way.
Sad
The therapist was right. He's checked out and cheating on you. Get your head out of the sand. He's done with you.
No he isn't. He's squeezing out the last drop of blood.
Me and my wife set boundaries going into our marriage. No more friendships with the opposite sex and definitely no talking about our relationship with anyone of the opposite sex.
The husband is a spineless coward.
Absolutely
No, he's been emasculated.
AND a psychologically abusive jerk.
He sounds like my ex. When I talked to him about how I felt he said, "move out then." And I when I told him I was moving out he just smiled...then he told me it was my decision and he told his mother and sister than I left him for another man when it was him cheating on me and neglecting me. He acted like I didn't exist so he didn't even say hi.
@@Lala89856 I'm so sorry. That's awful and similar to mine, but he did talk to me, acted like everything was fine and expected me to as well. Not after years of infidelity and lack of any real investment in relationship. They want their cake and eat it too.
One of my wife’s best friends just passed away. This is legitimately, almost to the T, what she went through. The only difference is, he brought the woman around and, because she was in a bit of a fog with the medication she was taking, convinced her that they should all be friends.
She needs to leave. Divorce sucks. But when your spouse is already gone… and doesn’t want to come back, leave.
That’s so awful 😢
Damn, that's next level despicable