Episode 181: What You Need to Hear
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- Saying the thing you know you need to say can be really really hard. In this episode we talk about the importance of honesty and how to communicate the truth in love. If you’re looking for deeper, more authentic relationships this episode is for you!
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I like the “non scripted” (I know none of it is scripted) chatting in the beginning!
Me too! It adds authenticity and humor to the podcasts!
I enjoy the beginning. It makes the podcast more authentic and you can see y'all's personalities really well.
Thank yall so much for this podcast. To add to people getting angry about getting advice to break up-I just broke up with my boyfriend 2 days ago BECAUSE of your advice. Obviously, the reasons also being because biblically him and I just weren't equally yoked. I broke up with him because I loved him and cared for him and wanted him to grow spiritually and have more time on his own to seek guidance in a church and serve and understand the gospel. I thought he did in the beginning but really fell through and were empty words in the end. Learning more about the truth in love, Christian dating my eyes and my heart and spirit realize better in what I truly need to find in a partner. And I thank God for "Outdated" and these podcasts being a part of that. Definitely living proof on my end that I wasn't angry on pretty much hearing that I was in a relationship I shouldn't be in, I am thankful! My ex however did get angry even though I told him and reassured him I only tell him in love that he follow up finding a local church to be a part of, to serve and attend and even see if they have counseling because he wants that. He took it really bad and resorted to name calling and that pushed me to really end it. I hope he one day understands I truly did that and said my advice to him for the better.
Binged every one of your posted BESO episodes preparing for and living through hurricane Ian. Great content. Thanks for keeping it real and sharing God's truth.
I love the spontaneity of the podcast! Keep it lively!
"In order for honest conversation to be had, everyone has to come to the table having already given up their right to be offended." - Kira Davis
I’d like to hear a podcast about the mercies of God in the our daily failures. And how living like Jesus is a daily pursuit and a lifelong “battle”
I love the beginning of the podcast & I love the transition!!! 😂
Would love to hear a podcast on end times.
I love the banter in the beginning, it makes y’all more authentic and easier to receive from as the show goes on.
From what I've learned living is it depends on who says it, how they say it, and why they say it. While there are different caveats to each of these, all are important into how it is received.
1. Who said it. If a random person on the street says to me, I'm not a kind person, the weight of that critique is almost zero because they don't know me enough. The weight of that critique will gain the closer a person is to me. But also, the kindness of the person will also weigh into the worth of the critique as well. The person's station, expertise, and relationship status in reference to myself all matter in the weight of that person's criticism. This also is true for compliments as well. If a person doesn't hold a close station to me, doesn't have particular expertise in a subject, and so on, their compliment will not hold much value. If we factor this in, sometimes we're not the right person to be intervening and sometimes we're the only person who can intervene.
2. How it is said. I do believe people are far too coddled and sensitive when it comes to criticism. I've seen coworkers go ballistic after being criticized by a superior. They will trash talk that superior for days. Even though we see the truth in the criticism that the superior gave, we just let that type of person believe in the narrative they have of themselves. That is the hard part. We all have a narrative, a self-image we think everyone sees and if that self-image is hurt in any way, be it a physical critique or a performance critique, we can get defensive. Criticism should be done in private, firmly, directly, without attacks on other aspects. When things are said in private, that gives both parties an opportunity to keep it between them. If the receiver spreads gossip about the critique, that is on them.
3. Why it is said. Explain why you are giving the critique and how you believe giving the critique will help the person change for the better. Nobody likes a blanket critique without explanation as to why it was given and what they should do about it, otherwise it is just an attack. Come alongside the person rather than top down. The best boss I had gave me many critiques, but they were helpful. She didn't say, you are doing this wrong and then just leave. She said, this is wrong, here is how I want it done, and this is why it needs to be done this way. It was a vibe of, hey I am trying to help you here not berate you.
Before I give compliments or criticisms, I judge myself on these three things. Who am I to give this critique to this person? Am I above reproach on this subject, am I an authority on the subject, am I respected by the person? If I am the right person to speak to them, then I ask, how can I have this conversation that will protect the person from shame/embarrassment. Choosing the right time and setting. Thirdly, is the person accountable to me in some way where I can stand beside them and not above them. Am I giving the critique to make them better or make myself feel better? Is it necessary?
I love the beginnings! They make me laugh 🤣 my husband loves the podcast but not the banter. But I make him listen anyways because we love y’all 🤪
the beginning of the podcast is my favorite part hahahhahaha plz dont ever stop it. I do really appreciate the wise words of the podcasts too tho
Blessings and greetings from Santo Domingo, Dominican Repubiic. Thanks for sharing these things!
Hi, I have mix feelings about the beginning. Depending on my mood, I sometimes keep the bantering! It does the podcast lively and makes you guys more human, but sometimes I like to get to the meat of things :) But whether you keep it or not, I'll still be a fan! Your insights have helped me personally and as a minister to college students.
I like the non-scripted parts at the beginning! Always makes me laugh
Never really saw that verse like that
Thanks JP
And I like the beginning, it lightens the mood to the serious part!
According to what Katie said about hurting people's feeling, I remember listening to your podcast about pleasing people.. and this line stuck
Pleasing people is not because you love them but you love yourself alot more.
I love the beginning!! And gosh, I am continually blessed by this podcast and appreciate being able to laugh with ya'll, then resonate with what you're talking about, and then feel convicted by the end. 100% favorite podcast. :)
I really liked the banter!! In fact what JP said during that banter applied to my exact situation and really helped me!! Thank y’all so much!!
I love "that first part" of the podcast. I would think those who don't are in the minority.
Beginning is great!
Love this podcast!! Happy Sunday!✝️❤️
I love the banter 😅
Banter away!!
I like how y’all talk 😅
31:00 🙌
Jonathan: "The stuff in your teeth is a lot easier than a booger."
Kathy: 6:56
😂
Nate and his shirts lolllllll
Ngl I skip the first 4-5 min of almost every episode 😬