Divorce My Wife Because She's Overspending?
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
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I had the same experience. My wife refused to get a job, when I told her she has to cut back on her spending, she told me NO! you have to make more money. I have been divorced for 33 years and divorcing her and quitting smoking were the two best decisions I have ever made in my life.
wrong female buddy, get a women whos not too combative and is going under your set of rules, like go to college and find a ice female catching the same degree as you, Amen
Where have all the good women gone?
You will be held accountable by God for that.
Sounds like there's probably more to the story here
@@Stephan2P Where have all the good women gone? Away from you that's where lol
Separated for 3 years? No doubt in my mind there's been infidelity at this point as well. There is no emotional, financial, or even rational reason to try to salvage this marriage.
Johnathan Morgan there’s always a reason. It seems like these two haven’t talked through enough. Like Dave said, they need to go to counseling.
its over
There’s no such thing as infidelity in the time of being separated. That’s what separation is - it’s a temporary break-up with the intent of both parties planning to ‘eventually’ get back together. There is no togetherness dying a separation, in said case, either party does what they want - this is the known stipulation that both parties are aware of. If you’re broken up, you’re single / if you’re single, there’s no infidelity, there is only fidelity, with other people.
Jason Brozic if they’re still married it’s infidelity.
Nils Lindqvist right unless you get a divorce or they have an open marriage.
Don't waste your time on a marriage counselor. She's not going to change her spending addiction. Just leave!
John Preston sounds like she's got an entitlement issue
If she seeks help, then she can.
John P. Nah, When money problems walk in the door, love flies out the window...
@@americanskeptic138 Yes, that and an impulsivity issue.
If this woman has put you into debt three separate times, she won't change. Don't listen to Dave the simp, he always backs the woman. Divorce this lady and finally be happy
If they are separated why is she handing him her bills? No miss, them is yours to figure out
Simping can be fatal.
He fed the wild animal. So itll never leave because the fool still feeding the beast
Reason why I divorced. So glad she has her bills
He said he doesn't know how much she makes because she is making more than he. She moved out! She is clearly divorcing him.
@@anniealexander9616 💯 yes gas station managers make north of 50 grand
He wasn't throwing rocks. He was describing his situation and asking for help.
Dave is such a simp; nearly always takes the females side. Talks hard to the guys, then sweet to the women no matter what they've done wrong, it's pathetic
Dave clearly worships Lucifer.
Nathaniel yeah I’m done with this dude ... especially after his recent rants on Tenn. tornados and Coronavirus . He’s gotten hard over the years and I’ve been a follower for around 20yrs 😓
Dave is a simp.
@@Eaglejake - either that, or he appreciates the fact that Sharon stayed with him through thick and thin...
I wasn't happy with Dave's answer. 99% of the time he gets it so right but throwing rocks is not what he was doing. He was explaining the situation for what it was factually.
Yeah well Dave still thinks it's 1915 and women are nice little creatures that need to be treasured and protected.
You can’t be sure the caller was including all the facts. But it does sound like divorce may be for the best, but not for his finances. Divorce usually hurts finances. I think divorce is best because he clearly thinks little of his wife and I can’t see how a marriage can last under those circumstances.
Well Dave is a Christian so he is not going to tell them to divorce...he got Christian values
Angela Mastrodonato the dudes finances are already hurt. Divorce would actually help him in this case. They’ve been separated for three years. Debt that belongs to her will stay with her. He keeps his debt & any joint debt will be split between the two of them.
It really doesn’t sound like they have joint assets so he’s not losing property. By divorcing her he loses all of her debt & half of any joint debt. He’s not going to have to worry about alimony because she’s been supporting herself for three years & he didn’t mention kids so there probably aren’t any so no child support
He needs to divorce her so she stops dragging him down financially
There’s three sides to every story. His side, her side and then the truth.
He didn’t throw rocks. He’s explaining the situation.
Agree. Inappropriate response from Dave.
dave is a simp. that should help
If you've been apart for 3 years due to her spending, and she's still spending, it's time to end it and move on. She's had plenty of time to get herself together here. Sorry, fellow, but buying stuff is more important to her than you. She has proven that the last 3 years.
K H-C she might just need help. If it’s an addiction, then she can’t control it.
Yes totally correct. IF she wanted to save the marriage she would have acted on it by now. It shouldn't be this guys initiative to save it when she's repeatedly put them into debt. If it were to work, she would have to take initiative, plan the counseling meeting and invite her husband to attend, then actually change her behavior. Dave is being completely unfair here to this nice guy that seems to have done all he can about it
She is dumping all the bills on him and will continue to do so as long as he allows it. Save your money for getting a divorce lawyer!!
I wouldn't pay her bills if they are under her name.
Separated for 3 years? Call it! Dump her fast and move on with your life. I too got divorced because of my wife would not stop spending money and hid over 160 grand in credit card debt from me. We have been divorced just over 9 years now. She is still broke and my new house will be paid off in less than two years.
Wow, Good Job! My ex ran up so much debt that I had to file bankruptcy after the divorce. I am so happy with my husband today and the only worry we have is ‘where to stash the money I save’!! With no debt it adds up quickly!!
Congratulations! That'd amazing, you got rid of that parasite and now have a bright future ahead of you. I love hearing stories like this :)
NICE! let her wallow in her debt
🥳💯🔥🔥🔥
Disagree with Dave here. Separated this many times, separated 3 years, it's time to divorce and move on. There are some situations where you have to cut your losses, take your lumps and move on.
LOL when RUclips comments give better advice than the host. 🤣🤣
Something I realized years ago when I dated a girl whom I supported fully for 3 years. I realized that if she had even an ounce of respect for me, she wouldn’t do certain things. Marriage is a team and a team only works when the players put the team first.
Had a gal tell me. Work what's that.
Why does Dave ALWAYS unapologetically defend the woman?!?! Always!
Ya know sometimes women don’t need defending. Imo
Dave's attitude here has nothing to do with him being a "baby boomer." Dave is a Bible Belt evangelical and his principles regarding women, marriage and money are bible based.
Let's take a look! Dave is a simp
@@Spiid1000 lol
I dont think he was doing that.
@@shadowartist8892 Dave 9 times outta 10 always gives the woman a pass. He treats them like kids that don't know any better and the man should be held responsible for everything that happens.
Guy: I have a worm in my stomach and it's stealing all the food I eat for itself and I'm starving because of it.
Dave: Have you tried going to counseling with it?
David2278 Best comment on this video! 😂😂🤣🤣😂😂
Lol!
David2278 disagree you are so mean. You only know one side of the story. Good luck with your own marriage. I hope it’s perfect and your spouse is not so ready to throw stones at you.
@@sabrinaliu66 Never been married. And there's a good reason why.
Good one
I am single, debt-free, make a 7-figure income and I’m never getting married. Thanks for the reminder, Dave.
Rod Clarkson Smart man, you are years ahead of the unhappily married men of the world. I'd bet you will be able to retire decades early if you keep it up, and spend half your life on your friends and hobbies than caring for a spoiled brat
Same here. I have over $300k in the bank and I plan to never marry. This is the way.
Amen
. solid
You sir, are on the path to retiring in your late 40s and early 50s. Your life will be simpler, more enjoyable, and free of stress.
He ain't throwing rocks, just saying the truth.
You dont know what the truth is....🧐 until both sides are laid out you know his version....
I think you missed Dave's point. He was trying to get the guy to realize how ridiculous a 3 year marital separation was in the context of this guy calling to ask for financial advice on a ' marriage' that's all but nonexistent. How is Dave supposed to advice him if he can't decide whether to stay married or get a divorce? The answer to that question determines the advice he's going to get. And to spend 4 minutes detailing his wife's shortcomings says he's not interested in salvaging the relationship. So make up your mind to stay and work at it or move on.
Ellen Carter the most insightful comment here.
I like Dave in a lot of ways however, he's very quick to take the wife's side almost every time an issue like this comes up. If the roles were reversed here the husband would quickly be called a deadbeat.
Yeah I noticed that too!
YEP. He's a typical white knight in most situations.
I think it was his upbringing and own experience with women... he’s never seen that side.
Or this is one side of the story of a marriage that needs work....lol
Here's something you need to understand about women. It's never their fault. They are like impulsive pets. They can't control themselves. That's why men need to be leaders and lead their wives. We are logical and think long term. Women are emotional and think short term. That's why they need guidance from men/husbands/brothers/fathers. This is why Dave always blames the men. Dave won't say what I stated above but he definitely thinks it. He has to play the politically correct game.
$73k student loan debt and no degree? I wouldn't pay that on her behalf ... married or not.
This man is not throwing rocks. He is speaking his mind. No counseling is going to help this man. He needs a divorce like yesterday.
my wife is terrible with money, always has been, grew up living paycheck to paycheck and doesnt know anything else. love her to death but gotta have separate accounts because of that, i dont keep secret what i make or what i spend it on but i can't let her get into it or she'll find something we 'need'
And this arrangement with the money yall make together, sits right with both of you?
I give much respect!!!! Emile seems like the type to want to break you both up!
Atleast u sound nice about it...
They always need something when they know you get paid on Friday
This is how my grandfather had to do things. My grandmother would always spend money on stuff, then end up giving away that stuff just a few weeks later.
how was he throwing rocks ? if a woman said the same thing dave would agree with them
dave is actually a woman, that's why. he has a vaguyna
Happened to me. Open a separate checking account to take care of your bills. When she hands you debt just hand it back to her. It's her problem.
Don't call a financial adviser for relationship advice. You already know what needs to be done, based on your own misery!
He's gonna defend the woman, just watch. ::GrabsPopcorn:: ... Edit: I knew it... I knew it....
Musa I of Mali I want someone to ask Dave about this
He is a traditionalist where MEN are MEN who need a good punch and WOMEN are children that need kid gloves.
Musa I of Mali HE IS A SIMP
Someone should definitely call Dave out on it.
Dave is a beta male who won’t stand up to his wife
This is where I see Dave Ramsey as a hypocrite. He tells all these men to deal with these women who completely disrespect their man’s money and drag them down into life crippling debt, but he’s got a wife that doesn’t do any of these things to him.
It’s not fair to have one person do all the spending. If she wanted to work on her marriage, they wouldn’t be separated for 3 years.
Divorce is inevitable, just finalize it already, it sounds like your marriage has been beyond repair for some time now, both of you should just move on.
I'm sure she doesn't want that because who will pay her bills lol
He should still try to repair it. What3ver happened to "Until death do us part"? 🤷🏾♂️
This marriage is not salvageable.
How did you come to that conclusion?
Why is dave bashing him? He's trying as hard as he can to follow his plan and just gets shamed.
Relationships are the only old school thinking Dave needs to adjust. Here’s what he should do:
Step 1: save 2,000 in separate account
Step 2: Run for your life
"How much does your wife make?"
"Every time I ask, she says 'I don't know'"
????
Simps having a chat 🤷🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️
Going through it now. I’ve pleaded for years and it’s worse than it’s ever been. I’m constantly stressed and we’re in debt but she just spends. I find myself hating her lately.
I make a wage in the top 1% but for years couldn't put food on the table a few months a year due to her spending. It's not always cheaper to keep her! Divorced 2 years now and will have the house paid off in less than 3 more as I can finally control spending.
Why would anyone want to stay in a relationship like that? Switch the genders of this story and the answer would be clear.... why is it so muddy now? Why does he have to try to "save this marriage"?
DrGeneralkumar82 Dave puts the onus completely on men, and give free passes anyone with a front hole, pathetic
Divorce her, find someone else that will act like an adult towards money.
Dave, there is no cooperation in the marriage when it happens time and time again!!
Meets new female
Complains constantly about ex wife and money
Pass
I know Dave doesn't want to explicitly encourage divorce, but this is an easy one: YES.
My hamster could have picked the correct answer.
Nope. They haven’t been to counseling since the separation. Time to fix it!
@@IWantToMature85 why fix it? its not good or healthy. doesn't seem as though its ever been healthy. why try to reclaim a toxic person in your life? he would be healthier without her
@@IWantToMature85 counseling is a complete waste.
Good grief. What a mess.
I don’t think he was throwing stones at his wife, he was clearly explaining the issue
First Dave Ramsey post I’ve ever disliked. He was not throwing rocks, he was clearly describing the circumstances.
Dave's only weakness is he discriminates against men. If a woman had called I guarantee his response would have been "its time for your husband to MAN up and stop being stupid"
A student loan with no degree what was the point of going to school if you were not going to finish in the first place
She probably got scammed by the for profit degree mills....worthless degrees and crazy expensive....sad it was ever allowed.
One third of the $1.6 Trillion in student debt is from folks that never got their degree.
Mike Jackson no she probably dropped out
Being married is so scary. I don't need that kind of financial infidelity
you are a woman
I dated a woman who lived in an apartment and purchased a Range Rover. She loved her Range Rover more than me so I dumped her.
Hah, it was prob her side meat that bought it for her
Michael Lee probably she realized how shallow and obnoxious you are and she dumped you, the other side of the story. I am happy for her, great decision of her life!
Women spend money when bored or feel unfulfilled. It is a cycle of your never around so I’m bored and going to fill my self with things.
I was married to one of those for a long time. Maxed out every credit card, would take money out of my wallet without me knowing, always months behind on our bills. I stayed way longer than I should have.
Yikes, that is a terrible way to live!
It’s time to put closure to this nonexistent marriage. Cut your losses.
If the respect is gone then the marriage is probably lost as well. Best of luck in your separate lives!
When this guy gets divorced he will have more money than he's ever had!
When you don't have someone syphoning money out of your account it's amazing how fast money piles up!
Yup this is happening to me, I have so much disposable cash because I have no one spending it, it's great.
Best financial move I ever made was kicking out a woman with a spending addiction, many years later, yup she is broke, and I am well off, as it should be, men if you have a woman over spending toss her out!
What about the men that live off of the woman...you see that a lot now..men don't want to work..
@@bsosbebe It doesn't matter who the breadwinner is, overspending is a cancer to a household.
What is your suggestion for women who are married to men who overspend?
Aleese M leave asap
"You have to work on saving this thing, or call it!" Love it!
Adam Bottjen That caller is more than awesome IF he is paying her bills during the 3 yr sepn. Glad Dave spoke REAL with that caller. Amen.
Adam Bottjen He should unhook the anchor off his back.
@@TylerCummings6 The tick in his neck.
verfed the poodle on his noodle
It’s not worth working after retirement age, for someone else to spend and spend and spend.
Work for yourself. She doesn’t want to change.
If you have been seperated for three years she no longer wants to be with you she wants to do her own thing let it go dude divorce her
The secret is always keeping money separately
Dude needs to: A - Get Divorced B - Get a better job
C - All of the above
Or both. Too late at this point even if both of them right their wrongs
What's yours is hers and what's hers is hers
Every girl I’ve dated has told me that 🧐 still don’t see why she can’t by mine 🤨
Thats how women think because they have been told that their whole lives and most women (not all) are incapable of thinking for themselves
His response was SO mature and logical. They both work and they both have income and debt. You need to be discussing a divorce. If you want to work on it that’s something you do together. You don’t work on a marriage by getting more affirmation as to why it won’t work. I’m glad Ramsey was the one giving the advice and not these people in the comment section.
How you expect him not to criticize his wife? Then why do callers even call you? Obviously if they calling it to tell you a problem
Sounds like HE wants to stay married and SHE doesn't but will USE him to dump HER bills on by keeping him on the string. DIVORCE HER!!
Dave Ramsey is as bad at relationship counseling as he is good at financial counseling.
This! Absolutely correct. 👍
Rice and beans, beans and rice is the best marriage advice he gives 👍
You made promises to each other--both of you, mutually. If she will keep hers by restraining her spending, it's worth working things out. Ruth and I work together. My years as a CPA and after being drafted my years as a Marine fighter pilot have made me somewhat obsessive-compulsive so we have detailed and extensive records. How much did we spend on housing in May 1999? I've got it! Keeping detailed records creates an awareness that helps a lot. Now we have more money than we know how to spend because of it, including lifelong habits of restraint that affect the "know how to spend" part.
Dave the king of Simping! The woman is out of control and like always attacks the man!! Dave wife probably calls the shots in his family....
Dave 100% wrong. This guys wife is never going change.
He doesn't need a marriage counselor,he needs a devorice attorney. This lady doesn't respect him and probably never will. Separated for 3 years and the problem still ain't fixed...counseling is a waste of time. Been there done that.
I have the same problem and the thought of having a joint checking account with my husband gives me so much anxiety. He made 92k last year with $1,800 in bills per month including rent and my husband took out a 14k loan because he could not make ends meet. When I was was working I made 42k,paid those bills had 10k in the bank and no debt. Then when we filled for taxes,I learned how much he was making and told him he needed to figure it out and decided to stay home with my son for the year before K,since I was always under the impression he made significantly less than me so I thought it was not possible to stay at home since I was the primary bread winner. It ended up being a bad move financially. I had no income,he spent his and I ended up putting things on a credit card so my kids could eat. Just went back,I am making 50k but now 9k in credit card debt from staying home. I feel this guys pain. I feel like we should have so much more. A house,savings,college funds,retirement funds,etc and we have nothing but debt and quickly approuching 40. I am hoping to enroll us in your financial peace university so we can come up with an action plan. I feel we could do much better and be much happier if we could work out the financial aspect of things.
Why is it when a man complains about his wife 'he's throwing rocks at her'? That wasn't cool Dave
JJ had not been separated for three years. They have been living in different households for 3 years. Big difference. JJ is from Illinois. In IL when you have been legally separated for a year it goes into divorce. Not being legally separated will mean that all debt (even during this so called separated time) will be reviewed during a divorce, and may be assigned to him.
She may get part off his 401k and half of the value of the house .
There is a legal definition of separation, and a general one
Take it from someone who took 25 years to FINALLY separate our finances that she NEVER change unless she wants to do so. My husband saw a counselor for years, but he never did what was suggested or stopped spending so I finally took control of what I could, my own income. I work three jobs and bring in a majority of the family income and pay most of the bills including the house payment and his bad debts. I know he will never change so I adapted. I would love to have the kind of marriage that Dave talks about here, but I chose the wrong person for that.
No one but Dave would recommend these two go to a marriage counselor. This is a broken relationship. It's been dysfunctional for way too long to save it now. This marriage is a different form of debt, he's getting bled with interest payments from this woman's spending. Just pay it all off with a divorce and move on.
Oh Dave.... Shaking my head yet again.
kode-d-tv would love to hear your analysis of him, would be good to get a second opinion
What a hot button issue. When people become extremely unyoked about any issue it becomes fatal to the harmony of a marriage. I feel for this man. Too many people have been in his shoes.
Notice how its usually the wives with the spending problems.
I will never get married again after watching things like this
No wife, No girlfriend = Plenty of Money, no drama and a happy life
Sit down with a pastor? Maybe try a real marriage counselor instead.
Kwyjibo O_o I’d say sit down with a successful married couple. When my husband and I did premarital counseling for about six months, our sessions were with an incredible couple who were well into their 70’s and had been married for over 40 years. The advice they told us we’ve followed and both still until this day almost a decade later admit that, we probably wouldn’t be as solid without these principles. Marriage is about compromise, love, maturity, a large degree of opposite but complimentary of personalities.
Wife has no respect for him or the marriage. As long as he keeps paying her bills, she will continue her bad behavior. Kick her to the curb and be done with it. She does not care and stays with him out of convenience.
People were asking this question before they had a word for “marriage.”
According to Ramsey: How to solve all problems:
1) Tell your Rabbi you sinned.
2) What is your income (double this number)
3) work more hours (even pizza)
4) Cut credit cards
5) Eat on $2 a day.
1a) actually try to fix your (marriage, self)
#1 is way off. Should be PASTOR 😂
Nick White Depends on your origin. In North Korea, you would be prosecuted for going to church. The point is, we got anywhere between now and 50+ years of life left to enjoy them, until we join the worms.
Drummergeorge
Well do you want to be a wealthy worm when you for or a in debt to everyone worm?
Lady Hawk. Death does not pertain to ephemeral currency. Egyptians Gods were buried with their treasure + slaves, death does not discriminate. All I want is to be happy! (i.e., no debt, nice car, wife, job, etc.)
Pastor cant save this MESS!!! NOPE
Pastor: End this BS
Cahluvca Gonna have to agree with you on this one!
KLUV We know that you yo-yo!! But Jesus can!!!
Pastor's are not there to save. They r there to pass z message from God 2 blined humans.
Amen
My wife did the same thing...that's why she's my ex wife now.😂
At the point described... its divorce time.
They are not going to fix that.
.
That woman is poison.
My brother was married to a woman who loved to spend and she loved to put her purchases on credit cards because somehow she rationalized that if she put a purchase on a credit card she wasn't really spending money. The only GOOD thing about how she was spending was that she opened all the credit cards in HER name only. My brother left her and told her that he would only come back to her if she paid off all her debts. She eventually DID manage to pay off all of her debt and he returned to her. Soon she was right back to her old ways of putting massive debts on credit cards. He left her again, this time for good and he has since married another woman so I guess he gave up on his previous wife.
Dave has such a soft spot for the ladies. :P
If he divorces her, she's still going to be spending his money. Divorce doesn't stop men being required to financially support women.
Ramsey has an antiquated view on marriage and the role that women play in marriages. Not every woman is holy (saying this as a woman herself) and not every marriage is worth saving. I disagree that a man should shoulder debt that was created by the woman. she has to be hold responsible too
It’s really nice how Dave turns it around on this poor guy.
Real class Dave!!!
dave is actually a woman, that's why. he has a vaguyna (a vaGUYna is a male vagina)
The reality of things is that Marriage is a business. You never marry someone with a huge debt to begin with.
If she has not resolved this in 3 years, in my eyes, they are done. Move on.
Dam I will send this to my husband because I feel bad when I spent 15$ at the thrift store n I have to confess right away😅
Good for you! Overspending is a big problem in our society
you confess to your husband ? wow so creepy and pathetic
Is anyone gunna ask how this man who's been married 20years is only making 29k?
Exactly! He’s just blaming his wife and not telling the whole story, that’s why Dave responded the way he did. Dave doesn’t tolerate whiny men.
Not throwing rocks I think he was just saying what she was doing how else is he suppose to say what's shes doing.
your wife doesn't respect you at all.................get rid of her
My brother’s wife is the same way. She often pulls out the ‘Poor me, my mother died when I was 8 so I deserve anything I want card.’ She doesn’t work but feels my brother should feed her spending habits AND help with housework, cooking, etc. He works THREE jobs to try to make ends meet. When she went out and bought a new car recently I asked my brother how they can afford it. He said he doesn’t think they can but she “handles” the finances. He said he isn’t involved in the finances because he doesn’t have time. I told him that if he made time, he could probably quit one of his jobs.
Dave Ramsey always blames every single man that calls for relationship issues but when a women calls his always nice and tell the women its the mans fault too! Technically a women is always right no matter the situation which doesnt make sense to me but I guess.
Really? I just binged a lot of these clips and I don't always get that impression?
2 jobs and only 30k??? Get a better job. Duh
Rockford is a dump on its way FAST to being another Detroit. Making 30k to 45k there is about it.
Or just get rid of that good for nothing wife. Plenty of people can live fine on that
Not before the divorce....
20 years of marriage w/ 3 years of separation and lots of "I's" and "she's" in there. Really hard to find hope in those words or tone.
Not saying there aren't any good women out there but most are extravagant consumers that can't stop spending.
Have a feeling the caller just called because he wants confirmation before divorcing her.
Drop her like a bad habit ✂
2:10 Did Dave just swallow his gum??? LOL
No one is questioning why a man who has been married for 20 years is only bringing home 565$ a week?
Anyone who pays attention to the US economy and job wouldn't need to ask a question like that.
"So what's the problem?"
*proceeds to tell what the problem is*
"Noooooooo no not like that!"
What is Dave going on about here?