As a father of two young kids, there's no way I could stomach playing this game. Even the brief gameplay you've shown made me tear up. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, painful as it can be.
I'm an uncle to triplet three year old girls, and I had a hard time watching this video thinking how awful it would be if one of them got a terminal illness. ☹
I rarely comment on videos, I hate the feeling of exposing myself in a public medium. The anxiety it brings me sometimes is unreal, but this is one of the few videos, and you are one of the few youtubers where I feel like commenting is important... In a strange way. I don't know if that makes sense. The thing about me is I cannot stand small talk among my friends, I want to get straight to the deep stuff. It breeds trust and comfort for me, even if the topics are dark, uncomfortable, and often times heart breaking. They are real though, and that is what is important to me. And that is what I appreciate about you most PushingUpRoses. You glow with a sense of realness, and genuineness that most other youtubers lack, at least for me. You are unafraid to express your personal story, that is wholly subjective and rooted in your own experiences. But, that in itself makes it beautiful and worth experiencing for me. I just truly appreciate the effort you put into this, and the art you create in your story telling, and in expressing your ideas. Thank you for making videos. They really resonate with me.
+Brokencrowe I appreciate that you wanted to leave a comment here despite your feelings of discomfort. That really means a lot to me. I am so, so glad the videos resonate.
+Brokencrowe Stay strong, man. But also, talk out your feelings. Since I can understand your feelings, I really suggest you talk out your feelings. I am really reluctant even now (ie in real life), but when ever I talk, at the end of it (as Roses said) I feel happiness. Again, stay strong, bro
+PushingUpRoses I never expect the original poster to reply directly to my messages, it is simultaneously thrilling and never wracking ^_^. I am so glad it means something to you! Thank you so much for your words. Keep being you, keep being artsy :D.
+Hemang Chauhan Thank you for your kind words. I can relate to the feeling of finding happiness through talking things out. I am able to easily talk about my feelings in depth with the close friends I have in person, and the cathartic feeling I get from releasing my inner demons is quite soothing, but maybe not for them. You too, man. Stay strong.
Very touching review. The feeling of the work comes through in the commentary. Every story I hear like this makes me feel more lucky in our own adventure through cancer therapy. My wife is nearing the end of her breast cancer treatment plan, and we are so grateful that we found it very early and had the insurance coverage to take care of it, and it reminds us to be grateful for what we have and are able to experience. Thank you!
All I can say is how deeply moving this was for me. Thanks for sharing it with us. My grandmother currently has cancer, and that's really hard to deal with internally. *hugs* from Australia. Thanks for being so willing to put yourself out there, it really does help. You're a truly wonderful person.
;~; Great review PushingUpRoses, extremely personal. I've lost people to Cancer as well, I can't even imagine losing a parent right now; let alone losing a child. Thanks for putting this together and thanks for the Dad Memory, stay strong!
I'm not a parent myself, but my brother has triplet daughters who just turned three years old, and I cannot imagine having to watch any of them go through cancer or losing one of them. I'm not their father but they are as dear and precious to me as my own children would be if I ever have any. My respects - and condolences - to the family that had to suffer this ordeal but still wrote about it.
Wow, this is some really heavy stuff. I actually had a brain tumor. It wasn't pleasant and it took like 6 months to detect it. They took me to the hospital, and I thought about how something could go wrong and I'd die. And yet strangely enough, in that moment I did not feel angry , I did not feel sad. As many regrets as I had over this happening and me never having my dreams come true, I felt like for what it was, my life wasn't so bad. I had my happy moments, my parents always loved me, and I had met some good friends. Now I'm alive and all, but I do think back on it all and how it felt. Although to be fair when people bring it up, I mostly think of all the wacky shenanigans in the hospital, I laugh at it all, to which people react in shock, because "That was so serious! How can you laugh at it?!". Eh, I can't it, and it seems like you also find happy memories in those more sad times, which I can relate to.
My Dad lied about a heart condition to get out of Vietnam. He's still here, and listening to you lamenting about how things could've been different makes me appreciate him more.
Roses, thank you for this review. You talking about your father made me think about my father who passed in July. What you had to say about crying got me to cry a cry I needed today. This feels like the lamest comment, but thank you for helping me cry today.
My dad died of cancer in 1988 and I think this is the first time I actually cried, remembering that fact.Thanks for sharing and reviewing PUR. I think I needed to remember. I do feel a bit better now for it.
Having had suffered from brain cancer myself while I was young, I know first hand how miserable it can be. What's worse is how hard it was for doctors to determine that it was cancer, even though I was thowing up in first grade and had double vision, first diagnostic was that it was just migraines. It wasn't until we finally managed to get an mri done that they discovered a cancerous tissue the size of a grapefruit and had to operate same day or I would have gone into a coma. I really should pick this up tomorrow probably after work.
I've got the lamest cancer story ever. Was caught really early, it made my mom cry but I was like "It's fiiiiiine" mostly by not really knowing much about it. Then during surgery I was a little nervous at first but then it took a while to get started because I couldn't stop laughing when the nurse wonked her head on the operating light. So the worst part is now I have a deep scar on my side that little hairs grow out of that suck because they get rubbed and are really tender, but shaving or pulling them out is way worse. I wish everyone had no more than a similar level of interaction with cancer.
Wow, just your description made me start to get a lump in my throat. I'm a big proponent for this kind of stuff. Taking video games and doing something different with them. Why should every video game be Super Mario? Sometimes ya just wanna tell a story about a family grieving for their sick child.
+maugos Much like "Why read Signal To Noise? Why not read Spider-Man instead? Or X-Men?". To hear a DIFFERENT tale, no matter the journey. (Deals with a dying director creating his last work in his mind's eye since he has little time left, cancer really advancing.)
+maugos 'Game' means something specific. I don't object to things like this existing, but it's probably wrong to call them games. I appreciate Rose's feelings about it though.
Well, "Interactive Tale" is more accurate, but as a whole, that's in the group labelled "games" really. (And if we got that specific, Telltale's whole collection - most of it at least - would be in the Interactive Tale box. *X)* )
Seeing as how I lost my grandfather to cancer, you have my respect. I just to tell you that your content helped me persevere through that moment. Ever since his death in 2010. Even before I subscribed. I just want to say thank you for everything.
I totally understand the thing you were talking about at the end. My dad says (well, when I was much younger) why do you like music, or movies, or games, or whatever that is so overwhelmingly sad? Because when I'm sad, I don't want to be around happy things, it feels forced and wrong, if I listened to a happy Beatles song it made make me feel worse. I instead throw on some Modest Mouse or watch my favorite Breaking Bad episodes, cry a bunch, and when it's over, I feel better. I can't deny myself the truth in front of me, my feelings, when I accept them, let the waters flow instead of damming them up, the river dries and I feel better again. In every ones life it rains sometimes, and you can't stop that. Just go with it, feel how you really feel.
I appreciate your openness about your experiences with cancer, Roses. It's hard to deal with the confusing emotions that come up during such a struggle. Each person, as you said, deals with these experiences differently. I'm glad it didn't completely close you off emotionally. One of my grandmothers died from several types of cancer at once. Years of smoking and bleaching her hair gave her lung and skin cancer, which spread everywhere and consumed her within 6 months of being diagnosed. It's a difficult experience to put into words, watching a relative change from the appearance you're accustomed to into a lump-covered skeleton with skin. Years ago, I was staying with some friends when the mother of the household had her eye and socket removed due to cancer, which was postponed by the doctor for too long. It wasn't much later that I saw her take her final breath. Imagine pointing *that* out to her family, then immediately calling Hospice to report her death, and later, taking the final check to the funeral home. I don't really know how I dealt with that. Besides multiple cancer scares from my other grandmother, and the loss of my grandfather, father, and step-father, there have been several scares - and losses - over the years. I've currently got an older friend who's going through chemo treatments each week, just to get weaker from a combination of health problems. I think this experience - *That Dragon, Cancer* - has a lot of value; especially so for those who've battled with cancer and those who've cared for them.
I just lost my father to lung cancer two days ago. It is impossible for me to feel anything but emptiness and sadness right now. I thought this was such a good video that I came back to watch it again and again.
God bless these people. Take comfort knowing their child has found peace in the embrace of God, of the Power Beyond. God bless you Roses, for staying strong.
Look at you makin' me cry and everything! God, we all have something that can be remembered when watching videos like this don't we?? Stupid life, being all crap so much of the time and then suddenly being so horrendously beautiful that we can't stay mad at it! But anyway, incredible review Roses! As usual!
I have been extremely blessed in my life to not have lost someone close to me before their time. But what you said about needing to cry, needing someone sad to connect with sums up my depression so beautifully! ' Thank you for sharing this game, I never would have known it existed. And thank you for your poignat, personal thoughts and memories to help make this the best it could be.
I've a very personal connection to the topic of cancer myself and that conenction is probably the reason why I could never play or witness a story like this in any shape or form. I'm always touched to see how open you are about your feelings and how you couped with your dad's death, Rose. You are one of my favorite video creator, and probably one of the strongest women I know. Please take care!
I lost my sister to cancer almost 2 years ago, and while I experienced the game already, watching your review made me start tearing up all over again. I shouldn't be watching sad stuff at work ahahahaha
Wow, that was a great review Roses. I'll admit I got a little teary-eyed at those pictures at the end, to know that they really went through something so tough as that. I also like your story you shared. Your dad sounded like a great guy (I love that detail you said at the end. Sounded like such a "dad" thing and that is awesome!). What I am trying to say is I think we all go through really tough things in life. I have not gone through something with someone as close as these examples but I have lost an uncle to pancreatic cancer. To hear that he went through so much I wish I got to speak to him one last time. The fact that I was getting home from a serious hospitalization didn't help either... finally feeling like everything was starting to get better then to find out he died. We all go through so much in this world but I guess I'm trying to say there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There is always hope and something great beyond anything we can even know sometimes. I hope the best for you and take care. Thanks for reading my rant if you get to. ;)
I cried though the entire video, I lost my mum earlier Janurary year to cancer. Its one of the games that I showed to her when the Game Theory video MatPat covered came out. She had cancer for the first time when I was a teenager and had a clean bill of health for fifteen years before she got cancer a second and then a third time. She was always looking at the positives in life. Its a very relatable journey this game. I only discovered your channel recently but hearing you talk about your dad in the video's you mention him has helped with coping with the loss of my mum.
Thank you for this sad yet beautiful review and personal moment. It was really touching and I look forward to watching more "hidden gems" game-like experiences from your point of view. Sincerely, Oz.
8:45 is just what the review did to me haha. i lost my father as well in '05 to cancer. and like you i dont think of it often or try not to lol. just reading the name of the game had me cautious but you and another youtuber i subscribe to posted videos about it so i decided to pick yours to watch. idk if i should say thank you cause i feel horrible but better now that i do know what this game is about though i think i'll pass if i can't even handle a review on it. love your channel keep up the good work
I haven't written a review in forever but I felt that I must share with you how much this review meant to me. I lost my uncle to cancer, he was just as a child during that war when he was exposed. He was not drafted, he did not fight. He died in his forties on New Years day in Georgia. He taught me how to be easy going, to never be cruel, to understand my father, and to never fear helping others. He was such a dreamer, a chill soul. I too wish more people knew about AgentO, I wish so many didnt have to die so needlessly in that war. I'm sorry about your father Roses. Thank you for your poignant review.
I heard about this proyect from Radiolab and it is, by far, my least favorite episode to date. Something about it didn't feel right, it felt unconfortable and hard to pay attention to. When I clicked this video, i didn't remember the title of the game, a few seconds later I did and inmediatelly rolled my eyes. But I kept watching, and I'm glad I did. This form of art is to be respected and admired for what it is and where it comes from, and I feel so disgusted of how I misjudged this game. That Dragon, Cancer is art.
+Diego Lugo Don't be too hard on yourself. :) I am very glad you decided to listen to the video though and it gave you another perspective. I wouldn't defend pieces like this if I thought they didn't have any merit or worth.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I lost my grandmother to cancer 8 years ago and the game seems to capture a lot of the same experiences we went through well.
This video legitimately brought tears to my eye. I don't have any one affected by cancer but my grandad is pretty much brain dead due to dementia plus a fall.
You've nailed the shit out of it... experiencing true sadness and just letting it all out is the sweetest of releases. And after the waves of sorrow have settled down you feel so calm and your ready to pick up the pieces and glue that shit back together. There's more to being human than being happy 100% of the time - there's no such thing as a happy bubblegum dream land 24/7. It's all apart of the human experience.
I have to say. I don't cry very easily but this game made my cry for the first time in a long while. It is a beautiful piece of art that doesn't just overwhelm you with sadness, but takes you along though the ups and downs.
PushingUpRoses, this is my first time on your channel. I was looking for people commenting on this game because I have just gone through it and needed to hear other people's reactions as well. My dad died last year and I am still greatly struggling with it. Your commentary was meaningful and sharing your personal story was brave. I truly felt similar to why I approached the game that I could commiserate with you. Thank you.
I'm personally not a fan of these kinda artsy-fartsy "games" that try to be abstract and weird for the sake of it, but I can appreciate the people behind this trying to send a message about this sort of thing. And hearing you relate your own personal experiences in response to playing it, I suppose that makes their efforts all worth it. Lovely review, Roses :) It's stuff like this that makes you stand out from the rest.
+Amayirot Akago I looooove anything artsy. I consider myself an artist, but I don't think I am artsy and abstract for the sake of it. That would be beyond the point of expression. Everyone has a reason, even if people perceive it as "trying too hard" to be weird. Everything has a base. :) I am proud of my artsy-fartsy hippie goth ways. I suspect you would barely able to tolerate me on the subject of art. ;)
+Amayirot Akago In fact, this comment has inspired me. I am not going to go live in Asheville and dedicate my life to art! ....I am mostly kidding. ...*mostly.*
+PushingUpRoses ...You're welcome? *nervous grin* But yeah, no accounting for tastes and all that, you're fee to like what you want :) Just saying I liked the review even if I can't relate, so that means you did something right ;)
+Amayirot Akago I'm not sure if this in particular qualifies as trying to be "abstract and weird for the sake of it" - it seems that most of the surreal bits have a tangible meaning you can garner from them. It tells a pretty literal account of what happened to them. Some of the audio was even taken from home movies. It's definitely got a distinct visual style, I'll give you that.
Thank you for sharing this game and your story. I will find this game, play it, and keep the message close to my heart. Years ago, my grandmother died from lung cancer. This disease has taken the lives of too many wonderful people. Because of my grandmother, I have gone to nursing school to pursue Oncology Care. Because of little children like Joel, and there are far too many out there that are so sick like Joel, I am pursuing the discipline of oncology pediatrics. The game is right, a baby can't fight a dragon. But they try with all of their might. And I will try with all of my might to help them. So on days when the book stacks are too high, or the grades are too low, or the other colleagues couldn't care less, I will remind myself of this game and your Father's story. Again, those kids are fighting with all their might. So will I.
Great review. Not sure if this is exactly a game that I'd be able to play. The part with Joel crying and Ryan trying to comfort him as well as Joel getting a CAT scan really got to me emotionally. I've been through situations like that before. I also have a loved one who is suffering from cancer right now. My aunt has stage IV kidney cancer and a tumor in her lower back. Pretty saddening to see what she has to go through such as chemotherapy, CAT scans, hair loss, blood work or hardly being able to get up because of her bad back. We really don't know what keeps happening to her as doctors usually say she's making real progress as the tumor in her back shrinks then all of a sudden she starts having the same back problems once again and we have to keep making doctors' appointments to find out what's going on. I keep holding out hope for a remarkable recovery but I'm just not too here with what might end up happening. So I can relate to people who go through painful times with loved ones suffering from cancer. Something I really don't like talking about but I feel I can do so here. My mother was also diagnosed with lung cancer a few years ago. How she was diagnosed with lung cancer I'll never know as I don't think she's ever smoked a day in her life. She's pretty clean as of right now. I think playing games like this actually helps ease you of any pain that overwhelms you when dealing with a family member suffering from cancer. You don't always have to play Super Mario, Sonic, The Legend of Zelda or one of my all time favorite Genesis games, Rocket Knight Adventures, to make yourself feel better. I actually think playing games that are a little more darker and depressing can be more helpful. You could play those happy games, but I think it's more important for those people dealing with emotions like that to at least give this a play. I should probably at least think about giving this a try pretty soon. Anyway, very touching and great review, Roses. I'm sure talking about your father's battle with brain cancer was very hard and I appreciate you doing so. Keep up the great work with your reviews, Roses. Looking forward to seeing your next review.
I'm always amazed by things like this. Gaming has given us an art form that provides a level of immersion and personal connectivity that no other medium can. My roommate once asked me why someone would make a tribute to someone in video game form, and said it seemed rather tasteless. But when I see something like this, I'm glad that people like the developer and also yourself are willing to do so. Also, this has nothing to do with the subject at hand, but I had to comment on it. The new ink looks great, Roses.
This is honestly one of the best reviews I've listened to on That Dragon, Cancer. Really personal and gracefully said. I am kind of surprised you pick this up knowing your story, but I am glad you seemed to have gotten something really good from it.
What a beautiful and heartfelt review :) That Dragon, Cancer really touched me, like a lot of other commenters, based on my experiences. Truly appreciate hearing your reflections on it.
This game is a great piece of media to show people what it's like to lose somebody that was close to you. I lost my dad that way, he was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in 2013 and we were all told that he would live at most 2 months if he was lucky, he was able to stay for 7 months. Months and months went on, the family splitting apart, the frequent trips to the hospital, the more depressed and distance that I put on myself, the therapy, it was all horrible. It was like watching somebody being tortured and having to come back to watch it all the time. By the time he had died, he couldn't speak, he couldn't move, and he couldn't use the bathroom any more than he could before. I remember when my mom got the call, she told me, left for the hospital, while I ran into the woods, and cried to myself for an hour, wanting this all to go away. After the funeral, I stayed away from school for a few weeks, not wanting to go back. It's been almost 2 years, I still get depressed, I cry still, and have to worry about dying in my 30's all the time.
I can appreciate how hard this was to review Sarah. I can't even buy it on Steam. My dad went in for bowel cancer twice, and both times I had to keep an eye on mum and my sister, who were closer to him than I, heavier hit. He too kept up his sense of humour, even just out of complications in surgery and a little high! (I gave him a copy of a local paper, "Rip It Up" to read, and I mentioned the name as I handed it to him. He smiled and tore it in half. SUCH a dad joke! XD ) He overcame BOTH cases that came up, and outlived his diagnosis by about 10 or so years. (They gave him 6 months!) Became an Ambassador for Cancer Council of SA, helping to bring in donations for other sufferers. (Sadly a stroke got him in the end in Jan 2015 [day before mum's birthday of ALL DAYS], but he fought hard to get the decade prior to that. Tough bugger! Worried about my mum and sis again. Almost the anniversary. Time to gear up!)
I feel kinda weird writing this, but this game really hit something deep within me that I never thought could actually be replicated in a game. Even watching your review brings that same feeling of wretchedness that kind of pulls at the back of your mind. My mom has been fighting colon cancer for six years that will not give up and I'm far past the point of where everyone around me is rallying and calling me everyday asking if I need anything. We just recently got through a period where she was extremely depressed and spent months talking about how she wasn't sure she would ever come back, and althrough that passed and she's back to fighting just as hard- every experience with cancer shapes you. I still remember ever thought and sight and feeling I had, the color of the wallpaper in every hospital room and what the view out the window of every surgical waiting area was. The parts of my life before my mom was diagnosed where my biggest fears used to be spiders, or- scary movies or needles- and where the largest thing in the back of my mind was 'I wonder what my life will be like in ten years' has long since been replaced by the constant growing monster that is the stark red or blue door of the outcome of each individual cancer battle. And my mom is still here, and still fighting, and still has a chance. It's really hard to find something to relate to- let alone someone, when you're not the person with cancer themselves. It feels so selfish to try to find help or to help yourself when you can't even do anything to help them. Although the ending of this game is a bit more defined and further along than my own experience so far, I still related to so many parts of this. Idunno- I know a lot of people without the experiences people like you and I hold have been reviewing the game poorly relating to the religious undertones in it through the second half- but even that, I understand. You can feel the desperate struggle of faith the father holds at points and you experience the feeling of 'the only thing left is God, and even that's an uncertainty.' Anyways- it's a really amazing game and you put exactly into words what I've felt about it as well. Have a good day!
Wonderful review. I've watched several reviews of "That Dragon, Cancer" in the past couple of days, and while a lot of them were informative, this was the only one that was genuinely insightful. Thanks for sharing your experience, for as difficult as it is, because not only does it make your review more personal, bit also gives your audience a little taste of the experience itself. Whether that comes from playing a game about it, or watching a review of that game, it's important to have even that touch of humanity made present in the discussion.
I'm one of the very fortunate people to have had a relative have cancer and survive through it. When I was seven my grandfather contracted cancer in his hip bones. At the time, I didn't really know what cancer was, and I just thought it was some disease that people got and it got taken care of. I wasn't too sure what happened, but I think they had to replace his hip. I kinda find it hard to relate to the premise of That Dragon, Cancer as there's never been a point in my life where I've had to fear for my grandfather's or anyone else's life to cancer (granddad is crippled and I think he can still win a barfight). But the effect and aftermath is what I think TDC does so well, and a bit subjective, but the melancholy themes could be reflective of any major tragedy a person has. And how you describe feeling the need to cry, is how I've been feeling these past few weeks. Thanks for that.
Ha. I'm tearing up just from watching this video. There are a lot of games out there that claim to be art, but just come off as pretentious, arrogant, preachy... It's rare that we get a game in that genre which actually succeeds in it's goal. I can't pretend to know what it's like to have someone so close to me pass away from cancer. I can only imagine. But hearing others' stories, watching this video, it conjured up some pretty strong emotions. Lovely review.
Amazing little review. I think you are very brave for picking up this title, especially with your own history and experiences with the subject matter. I personally have not been able to sit trough it yet. But, I think games like these are very important, highlighting how games can be so much for than just entertainment, but an universal tool for people to connect and share with. I hope to see more titles like That Dragon, Cancer in the future. But, now I need to laugh, so will check out your Undertale Let´s Play. Have a great day, and thank you for making this review.
I lost my parents to cancer in 2016. I couldn’t finish watching a gameplay video of this game, I had to stop partway through, but it was beautiful in a sad way.
i played this game when it came out many years ago and i decided to watch this video as a kind of refresher and the moment i saw that lil baby boys blob shape i started to cry and now im sobbing and i didnt know i needed to cry but i am and i did. amazing story and really amazing review of it
2015 was dominated by my Mom discovering that she had a tumor in her throat for the past 10 years. After surgery and a round of radiation treatment, we discovered that it had recurred just after Thanksgiving. Fortunately it was caught soon enough that a second surgery was all that was deemed necessary and she hasn't needed radiation since. It was a heavy year, but I'm eternally grateful that I only had to deal with a fraction of what you and the devs of this game had to. Your stories of your father and yourself make you one of the most unique reviewers I've encountered, and your candid confessionals about your childhood are always the highlight of your reviews.
In truth I haven't followed you for very long, and I've seen only enough of your content to have a vague opinion of you and how you see things. That being said, when I had heard about this game and what some people were saying about it, such as grief exploitation, I really didn't expect to care what some reviewer would say about it, thinking that the opinion would be negative. I said screw it and watched this video anyway because, you know, I have to get around to delving into your content at some point. Turns out that I actually really cared about what you had to say the minute you mentioned your own father passing away of cancer. That said "Ok, she knows what she's talking about". ... Ultimately this is not a game I would play but I think I would just buy it anyway at this point based on your opinions. If this had an impact on you so strongly and on such a personal level, then yeah, this is something that should be supported. Thank you for sharing your story about your father, too. I know that writing this probably came with a bit of difficulty and I get that. I lost my father 5 years ago to diabetes, so I can relate a little. .. Anyway, thanks for making this video and I promise to watch more content in the near future. Take care, Roses :)
Your video is well done and that reminds of how i lost my best friend years ago in 2009. He was such a great person and that damn cancer came and dies with it. Sorry for the loss of your dad and be strong indeed.
I love the style how they have gone back to the mid 90`s style of look such as Ecstatica. How everyone has there face removed at first is kinda weird but the style used does come together so well. I think maybe this is so you can understand them and also see your self at the same time. Some did not like the game play but i find it does work very well in telling the story , Both work so well off of each other.
Thank you for bringing this game to my attention. I don't know if I'll ever play it--I lived through cancer, cancer treatment, recovery and and currently living through remission, and I don't think I could willfully put myself through that again, even by proxy. But this disease is still out there, and anything that can help others understand, even a little, what those diagnosed, and their families, might be going through, anything that can show the seemingly endless suffering might just inspire someone to help make that suffering less in whatever small way they can. So I may never play this game, but I'm going to support it from now on.
I lost my dad to mantle cell lymphoma last June. He tried so hard to beat it, and I donated two liters of bone marrow to help, but in the end it wasn't enough; and I know it sounds silly, but I can't help feeling guilty for not being able to save him. I know it's already been said, but I want to say it again: Thank you so much, Sarah, for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this. I can tell you right now that I will never ever play this game--indeed, just hearing you talk about it has reduced me to a complete mess--but it makes me feel just that tiny bit better to know that someone else knows how I'm feeling.
I kinda like the minimalistic style to the graphics. Normally I complain about "walking simulators" but I don't really know how else you would make a game with this subject matter. Looks interesting, I'm glad you liked it.
I thought I made it through the video OK, but a few minutes after finishing it I started sobbing for my grandfather, who I lost to cancer when I hadn't even started school yet. I'm in college now. Later that night my mother came over to show me some videos of my grandpa from my uncle's wedding he had found recently that I have never seen and she hadn't seen in years. I thinks it's fitting.
I was welling up during this review, my own grandmother (my mum's mum) was in and out of hospital for years with cancers and tumours for years, and this review and what you said about your father, makes me terrified for my own parent's. And I personally like the games being heavy on story telling (and artsy games) since I can't really stand violence.
When I first heard of this game still in development I followed the Green's on facebook, at that time Joel was still alive and the tone during development was one of hope, in the face of all the bad news Ryan was developing this game as a way to cope with the stress but also to hopefully chronicle the story of Joel's recovery, then one day, they posted the news of Joel's death. I don't personally know these people but I was so invested in the development of the game and the story behind it that this just ruined my day, I was in tears for most of it. I never did buy the game in the end because I'm not sure I could handle it. Even just watching this review years later tears me up.
Wellp I'll have to get this then. Honestly I do not enjoy "experience" games, mostly because of the lack of gameplay, but after this review I really want to try this one. Sorry for your loss and thank you for taking the time to spread the word of such a title.
It's such a touching and personal project, a very creative way of dealing with their situation, though I'm not sure it's something I would like to interact with. As always, great job with the review!
I can definitely say that my parents would never be able to get through this game. Not only did my father lose his mother to cancer, they had to deal with my mental disorder as an infant (of which I am cured). I barely made it through this myself. Great game and great review!
Gosh watching this video alone was really hard to do. I just lost my godmother to cancer and just couldn't bring myself to even see other people until a few days ago solely because I had a doctors appointment.
I don't know how you found the strength to play this game, let alone create a video about it. I could not have. Thank you for bringing this to those of us who, despite much less personal connection to the subject matter, don't quite have what it takes to tackle this shadow of a dragon.
Hey I think what you say in this one is beautiful and very true, you're right, sometimes it is good to be sad for a while and get out some of those bad feelings, and it's very cool and honest of you to share your personal loss like that, very sorry.
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain." RB, Blade Runner 1982
The descriptions here alone made me cry, i couldnt handle the actual product itself. It would hurt too much since I've lost my cousin and aunt(on my dads side) to cancer and could've lost my aunt on my mothers side to it too though thankfully she took care of the problem and is no longer at risk of it. But to this day cancer does truly feel like some intangible beast i cant just defeat and get rid of and its kind of scary sometimes. that it could just take people i love so horribly and easily and i cant do anything. my response can only go to "its not fair! its not fair!" cause i just feel so helpless. though for all of that, my dad would honestly make the same elton john joke and laugh. my cousin would even find it funny no doubt.
My dad's cancer has relasped recently, so just this review hits hard. but "like" for the puns and jokes breaking up the tension of the seriousness of the game
When I was a kid and depression first started hitting, I used to try not to cry. Then one day when I was an adolescent my scientist mother explained the science behind crying, how it actually does purge the body of toxins and helps the body/brain reset emotionally, and I started letting myself cry for the cathartic (from the Greek "Katharsis" or "purification") value. It's amazing how much good a cry can do. Also, thanks for not turning this into "STUPID RELIGIOUS PEOPLE ARE STUPID AND THEIR STUPIDNESS IS FUNNY BECAUSE I AM SO MUCH SMARTER THEN THEM HURR HURR HURR" because I cannot tell you how many atheist and agnostic people I've seen who can't help smirking and sneering when they see someone's religious faith tested -- even if it's tested by suffering and horror. Somehow they have gone beyond the ability to feel sympathy or empathy, and can only feel their own self-righteousness and smug sense of superiority. So thanks for not being one of those.
Im 4 minutes into this "review" and its sooo emotionally draining, But I could see myself "enjoying" this game. It seems more like an experience than a game just like Depression Quest. I think these games are something that are challenging to the player in a different way than classic pc or videogames. Its not about reflexes or how good your aim is. It challenges the player on another level, something that strikes the core. It envokes some very human feelings, fears and also questions about life itself that are somewhat part of the core of what makes us human, the story could reach almost anyone, regardless of the cultural background. I think we need more "games" like this cause even though they might be challenging, its also something to grow on, a true experience somethings that lasts even though the game has been long finished, something that sticks with you, changes your view on life. Well at least thats my thoughts on this. Great review, i also liked the short, little more light hearted break in the middle cause you really went in early for the hard hitting footage of the game. This is certainly the most personal review you have ever done and i think that really aids the review in many ways. It just makes the review so much more genuine.
You bring up an excellent point about catharsis. Yeah, it's exhausting getting up to that point, but the peace and relief you feel afterwards is worth it. Sometimes you need a good cry and that's not a bad thing. I'm also really glad that you are able to relate to the game even with its religious elements. Many people called this game preachy and said that it's trying to push Christianity at you. I didn't see it that way all. It's about a man who happens to be religious and how that intersects with this traumatic moment in his life. You are a wonderful reviewer. I've known about you for a while, but never really watched your stuff. I'm really glad I did. I find your videos to be both poignant and funny.
I don't think this game will only affect those who have had to deal with the terrible toll of cancer. I think it will also speak volumes to anyone of us that have experienced loss of any kind... And although I don't wish to play it (last thing I want is to relive the experience of losing my own dad) a game that can fire up that raw nerve, however uncomfortable, is clearly doing something right. Good music choice with the Shenmue soundtrack... And I noticed you've left your intro and outro off, out of respect I assume. You're all class. :)
Watching someone go through cancer is a horrible experience. My grandpa has colon cancer. He was diagnosed in 2005 and was given about 6 months to live, but he's still alive (barely). He can't move on his own and because of his advanced Altzheimer's he can't remember me, or his daughters, or his wife or anyone except people from his youth because of it. He is in terrible shape, and has been for years now, and seeing someone in that condition, someone who is dear to you, is crushing. It's gotten to the point where I wish he would die already, as terrible as that sounds, because he's in pain, he can't remember anything, he cannot move, he can't eat by himself... and this whole thing is hard emotionally and even financially to my grandma, mom and aunt, and even me. Seeing him in the condition he's in, and seeing that dull look in his eyes when he looks at me, like he doesn't have a clue who I am is numbing... I've also had a family friend, someone who was almost like a second mom to me when I was a kid (she was our neighbor and her kids were my best friends at the time, her daughter like an older sister) die a while back from cancer after a long battle. It's still hard to cope with the fact that she's actually gone and I'll never hear her call me that nickname that she gave me... Your review made me tear up. It hit pretty hard. I doubt I could ever play this game, I don't think I'd have the courage to, but I appreciate the message and the story of it, and it's nice to know that there are others out there struggling with loved ones having cancer.
I have to say that this video was really undercut by the ad at the end, where a man tells a weed he's about to spray. "Where you're going, prayer won't help you."
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
As a father of two young kids, there's no way I could stomach playing this game. Even the brief gameplay you've shown made me tear up. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, painful as it can be.
+Gamer Going Grey I like your unique title. Starting to grey myself! XD
+Gamer Going Grey As father of two young kids I was unable to even watch the review, stopped at 3 minutes or so.
I'm an uncle to triplet three year old girls, and I had a hard time watching this video thinking how awful it would be if one of them got a terminal illness. ☹
I rarely comment on videos, I hate the feeling of exposing myself in a public medium. The anxiety it brings me sometimes is unreal, but this is one of the few videos, and you are one of the few youtubers where I feel like commenting is important... In a strange way. I don't know if that makes sense.
The thing about me is I cannot stand small talk among my friends, I want to get straight to the deep stuff. It breeds trust and comfort for me, even if the topics are dark, uncomfortable, and often times heart breaking. They are real though, and that is what is important to me. And that is what I appreciate about you most PushingUpRoses. You glow with a sense of realness, and genuineness that most other youtubers lack, at least for me.
You are unafraid to express your personal story, that is wholly subjective and rooted in your own experiences. But, that in itself makes it beautiful and worth experiencing for me. I just truly appreciate the effort you put into this, and the art you create in your story telling, and in expressing your ideas.
Thank you for making videos. They really resonate with me.
+Brokencrowe I appreciate that you wanted to leave a comment here despite your feelings of discomfort. That really means a lot to me. I am so, so glad the videos resonate.
+Brokencrowe Stay strong, man. But also, talk out your feelings. Since I can understand your feelings, I really suggest you talk out your feelings. I am really reluctant even now (ie in real life), but when ever I talk, at the end of it (as Roses said) I feel happiness.
Again, stay strong, bro
+PushingUpRoses I never expect the original poster to reply directly to my messages, it is simultaneously thrilling and never wracking ^_^.
I am so glad it means something to you! Thank you so much for your words.
Keep being you, keep being artsy :D.
+Hemang Chauhan Thank you for your kind words. I can relate to the feeling of finding happiness through talking things out. I am able to easily talk about my feelings in depth with the close friends I have in person, and the cathartic feeling I get from releasing my inner demons is quite soothing, but maybe not for them.
You too, man. Stay strong.
I very much know how you feel about this. Reading your comment makes a lot of sense to me, and I'm glad you decided to make it (or were able to).
Very touching review. The feeling of the work comes through in the commentary. Every story I hear like this makes me feel more lucky in our own adventure through cancer therapy. My wife is nearing the end of her breast cancer treatment plan, and we are so grateful that we found it very early and had the insurance coverage to take care of it, and it reminds us to be grateful for what we have and are able to experience.
Thank you!
All I can say is how deeply moving this was for me. Thanks for sharing it with us. My grandmother currently has cancer, and that's really hard to deal with internally.
*hugs* from Australia. Thanks for being so willing to put yourself out there, it really does help. You're a truly wonderful person.
+LittleMikey Stay strong, you, your family and your Grandma. Wishes from India!
Stay strong my friend. Good wishes from Serbia
;~;
Great review PushingUpRoses, extremely personal. I've lost people to Cancer as well, I can't even imagine losing a parent right now; let alone losing a child.
Thanks for putting this together and thanks for the Dad Memory, stay strong!
This is one of the best reviews i have ever seen. Seriously.
I'm not a parent myself, but my brother has triplet daughters who just turned three years old, and I cannot imagine having to watch any of them go through cancer or losing one of them. I'm not their father but they are as dear and precious to me as my own children would be if I ever have any. My respects - and condolences - to the family that had to suffer this ordeal but still wrote about it.
A beautiful, deeply personal review. Thank you.
Wow, this is some really heavy stuff. I actually had a brain tumor. It wasn't pleasant and it took like 6 months to detect it. They took me to the hospital, and I thought about how something could go wrong and I'd die. And yet strangely enough, in that moment I did not feel angry , I did not feel sad. As many regrets as I had over this happening and me never having my dreams come true, I felt like for what it was, my life wasn't so bad. I had my happy moments, my parents always loved me, and I had met some good friends.
Now I'm alive and all, but I do think back on it all and how it felt. Although to be fair when people bring it up, I mostly think of all the wacky shenanigans in the hospital, I laugh at it all, to which people react in shock, because "That was so serious! How can you laugh at it?!". Eh, I can't it, and it seems like you also find happy memories in those more sad times, which I can relate to.
My Dad lied about a heart condition to get out of Vietnam. He's still here, and listening to you lamenting about how things could've been different makes me appreciate him more.
Wonderful review.
Thank you Pur, for going out of your way to do this one.
Roses, thank you for this review. You talking about your father made me think about my father who passed in July. What you had to say about crying got me to cry a cry I needed today. This feels like the lamest comment, but thank you for helping me cry today.
My dad died of cancer in 1988 and I think this is the first time I actually cried, remembering that fact.Thanks for sharing and reviewing PUR. I think I needed to remember. I do feel a bit better now for it.
Having had suffered from brain cancer myself while I was young, I know first hand how miserable it can be. What's worse is how hard it was for doctors to determine that it was cancer, even though I was thowing up in first grade and had double vision, first diagnostic was that it was just migraines. It wasn't until we finally managed to get an mri done that they discovered a cancerous tissue the size of a grapefruit and had to operate same day or I would have gone into a coma. I really should pick this up tomorrow probably after work.
I've got the lamest cancer story ever. Was caught really early, it made my mom cry but I was like "It's fiiiiiine" mostly by not really knowing much about it. Then during surgery I was a little nervous at first but then it took a while to get started because I couldn't stop laughing when the nurse wonked her head on the operating light. So the worst part is now I have a deep scar on my side that little hairs grow out of that suck because they get rubbed and are really tender, but shaving or pulling them out is way worse. I wish everyone had no more than a similar level of interaction with cancer.
+Flaming Barrel The nurse hit her head on the light? Ouch. XD
+Flaming Barrel Wow! I meant.. for the nurse part. Anyways, hope you're fine now
Wow, just your description made me start to get a lump in my throat. I'm a big proponent for this kind of stuff. Taking video games and doing something different with them. Why should every video game be Super Mario? Sometimes ya just wanna tell a story about a family grieving for their sick child.
+maugos Much like "Why read Signal To Noise? Why not read Spider-Man instead? Or X-Men?". To hear a DIFFERENT tale, no matter the journey.
(Deals with a dying director creating his last work in his mind's eye since he has little time left, cancer really advancing.)
+maugos 'Game' means something specific. I don't object to things like this existing, but it's probably wrong to call them games. I appreciate Rose's feelings about it though.
Well, "Interactive Tale" is more accurate, but as a whole, that's in the group labelled "games" really.
(And if we got that specific, Telltale's whole collection - most of it at least - would be in the Interactive Tale box. *X)* )
Seeing as how I lost my grandfather to cancer, you have my respect.
I just to tell you that your content helped me persevere through that moment. Ever since his death in 2010. Even before I subscribed.
I just want to say thank you for everything.
This game made me literally cry.
So.... It's pretty emotionally exhausting.
I totally understand the thing you were talking about at the end. My dad says (well, when I was much younger) why do you like music, or movies, or games, or whatever that is so overwhelmingly sad? Because when I'm sad, I don't want to be around happy things, it feels forced and wrong, if I listened to a happy Beatles song it made make me feel worse. I instead throw on some Modest Mouse or watch my favorite Breaking Bad episodes, cry a bunch, and when it's over, I feel better. I can't deny myself the truth in front of me, my feelings, when I accept them, let the waters flow instead of damming them up, the river dries and I feel better again. In every ones life it rains sometimes, and you can't stop that. Just go with it, feel how you really feel.
PUR the way you express your emotion through reviews always makes me bawl like a dummy. You're the best!
I appreciate your openness about your experiences with cancer, Roses. It's hard to deal with the confusing emotions that come up during such a struggle. Each person, as you said, deals with these experiences differently. I'm glad it didn't completely close you off emotionally.
One of my grandmothers died from several types of cancer at once. Years of smoking and bleaching her hair gave her lung and skin cancer, which spread everywhere and consumed her within 6 months of being diagnosed. It's a difficult experience to put into words, watching a relative change from the appearance you're accustomed to into a lump-covered skeleton with skin.
Years ago, I was staying with some friends when the mother of the household had her eye and socket removed due to cancer, which was postponed by the doctor for too long. It wasn't much later that I saw her take her final breath. Imagine pointing *that* out to her family, then immediately calling Hospice to report her death, and later, taking the final check to the funeral home. I don't really know how I dealt with that.
Besides multiple cancer scares from my other grandmother, and the loss of my grandfather, father, and step-father, there have been several scares - and losses - over the years. I've currently got an older friend who's going through chemo treatments each week, just to get weaker from a combination of health problems.
I think this experience - *That Dragon, Cancer* - has a lot of value; especially so for those who've battled with cancer and those who've cared for them.
I just lost my father to lung cancer two days ago. It is impossible for me to feel anything but emptiness and sadness right now. I thought this was such a good video that I came back to watch it again and again.
God bless these people. Take comfort knowing their child has found peace in the embrace of God, of the Power Beyond. God bless you Roses, for staying strong.
Look at you makin' me cry and everything! God, we all have something that can be remembered when watching videos like this don't we?? Stupid life, being all crap so much of the time and then suddenly being so horrendously beautiful that we can't stay mad at it!
But anyway, incredible review Roses! As usual!
I have been extremely blessed in my life to not have lost someone close to me before their time. But what you said about needing to cry, needing someone sad to connect with sums up my depression so beautifully! '
Thank you for sharing this game, I never would have known it existed. And thank you for your poignat, personal thoughts and memories to help make this the best it could be.
I've a very personal connection to the topic of cancer myself and that conenction is probably the reason why I could never play or witness a story like this in any shape or form.
I'm always touched to see how open you are about your feelings and how you couped with your dad's death, Rose. You are one of my favorite video creator, and probably one of the strongest women I know. Please take care!
I'm a new(ish) dad and hearing the baby and his dad is just too much. I can't...
I lost my sister to cancer almost 2 years ago, and while I experienced the game already, watching your review made me start tearing up all over again. I shouldn't be watching sad stuff at work ahahahaha
Wow, that was a great review Roses. I'll admit I got a little teary-eyed at those pictures at the end, to know that they really went through something so tough as that. I also like your story you shared. Your dad sounded like a great guy (I love that detail you said at the end. Sounded like such a "dad" thing and that is awesome!).
What I am trying to say is I think we all go through really tough things in life. I have not gone through something with someone as close as these examples but I have lost an uncle to pancreatic cancer. To hear that he went through so much I wish I got to speak to him one last time. The fact that I was getting home from a serious hospitalization didn't help either... finally feeling like everything was starting to get better then to find out he died.
We all go through so much in this world but I guess I'm trying to say there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There is always hope and something great beyond anything we can even know sometimes. I hope the best for you and take care. Thanks for reading my rant if you get to. ;)
I cried though the entire video, I lost my mum earlier Janurary year to cancer. Its one of the games that I showed to her when the Game Theory video MatPat covered came out. She had cancer for the first time when I was a teenager and had a clean bill of health for fifteen years before she got cancer a second and then a third time. She was always looking at the positives in life. Its a very relatable journey this game. I only discovered your channel recently but hearing you talk about your dad in the video's you mention him has helped with coping with the loss of my mum.
Thank you for this sad yet beautiful review and personal moment. It was really touching and I look forward to watching more "hidden gems" game-like experiences from your point of view. Sincerely, Oz.
Great review PUR, thanks. I love how you bring personality and emotions into your videos, they are always thought provoking.
8:45 is just what the review did to me haha. i lost my father as well in '05 to cancer. and like you i dont think of it often or try not to lol. just reading the name of the game had me cautious but you and another youtuber i subscribe to posted videos about it so i decided to pick yours to watch. idk if i should say thank you cause i feel horrible but better now that i do know what this game is about though i think i'll pass if i can't even handle a review on it. love your channel keep up the good work
And that's why I shouldn't listen to this video at work.... right in the feels. I'm sorry for your loss Roses.
I haven't written a review in forever but I felt that I must share with you how much this review meant to me. I lost my uncle to cancer, he was just as a child during that war when he was exposed. He was not drafted, he did not fight. He died in his forties on New Years day in Georgia. He taught me how to be easy going, to never be cruel, to understand my father, and to never fear helping others. He was such a dreamer, a chill soul. I too wish more people knew about AgentO, I wish so many didnt have to die so needlessly in that war. I'm sorry about your father Roses. Thank you for your poignant review.
I heard about this proyect from Radiolab and it is, by far, my least favorite episode to date. Something about it didn't feel right, it felt unconfortable and hard to pay attention to.
When I clicked this video, i didn't remember the title of the game, a few seconds later I did and inmediatelly rolled my eyes. But I kept watching, and I'm glad I did.
This form of art is to be respected and admired for what it is and where it comes from, and I feel so disgusted of how I misjudged this game.
That Dragon, Cancer is art.
+Diego Lugo Don't be too hard on yourself. :) I am very glad you decided to listen to the video though and it gave you another perspective. I wouldn't defend pieces like this if I thought they didn't have any merit or worth.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I lost my grandmother to cancer 8 years ago and the game seems to capture a lot of the same experiences we went through well.
I cried from the middle to the final of the video :( you're one of the best youtubers of all
This video legitimately brought tears to my eye. I don't have any one affected by cancer but my grandad is pretty much brain dead due to dementia plus a fall.
You've nailed the shit out of it... experiencing true sadness and just letting it all out is the sweetest of releases. And after the waves of sorrow have settled down you feel so calm and your ready to pick up the pieces and glue that shit back together. There's more to being human than being happy 100% of the time - there's no such thing as a happy bubblegum dream land 24/7. It's all apart of the human experience.
good use of shenmue music in the background! very fitting
I am so buying this...it nails that dark beauty almost too well. I haven't been moved by anything this much in a long time. The imagery is wonderful.
+lmull3 DAT BE ALL LIKE ICH BIEN EIN STINKY POOPER?~PEAS BRaH
+slowmopoke Nein, das ist nicht so gut, lol.
I have to say. I don't cry very easily but this game made my cry for the first time in a long while. It is a beautiful piece of art that doesn't just overwhelm you with sadness, but takes you along though the ups and downs.
PushingUpRoses, this is my first time on your channel. I was looking for people commenting on this game because I have just gone through it and needed to hear other people's reactions as well. My dad died last year and I am still greatly struggling with it. Your commentary was meaningful and sharing your personal story was brave. I truly felt similar to why I approached the game that I could commiserate with you. Thank you.
I'm personally not a fan of these kinda artsy-fartsy "games" that try to be abstract and weird for the sake of it, but I can appreciate the people behind this trying to send a message about this sort of thing. And hearing you relate your own personal experiences in response to playing it, I suppose that makes their efforts all worth it. Lovely review, Roses :) It's stuff like this that makes you stand out from the rest.
+Amayirot Akago I looooove anything artsy. I consider myself an artist, but I don't think I am artsy and abstract for the sake of it. That would be beyond the point of expression. Everyone has a reason, even if people perceive it as "trying too hard" to be weird. Everything has a base. :) I am proud of my artsy-fartsy hippie goth ways. I suspect you would barely able to tolerate me on the subject of art. ;)
+Amayirot Akago In fact, this comment has inspired me. I am not going to go live in Asheville and dedicate my life to art! ....I am mostly kidding. ...*mostly.*
+PushingUpRoses ...You're welcome? *nervous grin* But yeah, no accounting for tastes and all that, you're fee to like what you want :) Just saying I liked the review even if I can't relate, so that means you did something right ;)
+Amayirot Akago YAAY!!! :D
+Amayirot Akago I'm not sure if this in particular qualifies as trying to be "abstract and weird for the sake of it" - it seems that most of the surreal bits have a tangible meaning you can garner from them. It tells a pretty literal account of what happened to them. Some of the audio was even taken from home movies. It's definitely got a distinct visual style, I'll give you that.
Thank you for sharing this game and your story. I will find this game, play it, and keep the message close to my heart. Years ago, my grandmother died from lung cancer. This disease has taken the lives of too many wonderful people. Because of my grandmother, I have gone to nursing school to pursue Oncology Care. Because of little children like Joel, and there are far too many out there that are so sick like Joel, I am pursuing the discipline of oncology pediatrics. The game is right, a baby can't fight a dragon. But they try with all of their might. And I will try with all of my might to help them. So on days when the book stacks are too high, or the grades are too low, or the other colleagues couldn't care less, I will remind myself of this game and your Father's story. Again, those kids are fighting with all their might. So will I.
Great review. Not sure if this is exactly a game that I'd be able to play. The part with Joel crying and Ryan trying to comfort him as well as Joel getting a CAT scan really got to me emotionally. I've been through situations like that before.
I also have a loved one who is suffering from cancer right now. My aunt has stage IV kidney cancer and a tumor in her lower back. Pretty saddening to see what she has to go through such as chemotherapy, CAT scans, hair loss, blood work or hardly being able to get up because of her bad back. We really don't know what keeps happening to her as doctors usually say she's making real progress as the tumor in her back shrinks then all of a sudden she starts having the same back problems once again and we have to keep making doctors' appointments to find out what's going on. I keep holding out hope for a remarkable recovery but I'm just not too here with what might end up happening. So I can relate to people who go through painful times with loved ones suffering from cancer. Something I really don't like talking about but I feel I can do so here.
My mother was also diagnosed with lung cancer a few years ago. How she was diagnosed with lung cancer I'll never know as I don't think she's ever smoked a day in her life. She's pretty clean as of right now.
I think playing games like this actually helps ease you of any pain that overwhelms you when dealing with a family member suffering from cancer. You don't always have to play Super Mario, Sonic, The Legend of Zelda or one of my all time favorite Genesis games, Rocket Knight Adventures, to make yourself feel better. I actually think playing games that are a little more darker and depressing can be more helpful. You could play those happy games, but I think it's more important for those people dealing with emotions like that to at least give this a play. I should probably at least think about giving this a try pretty soon.
Anyway, very touching and great review, Roses. I'm sure talking about your father's battle with brain cancer was very hard and I appreciate you doing so. Keep up the great work with your reviews, Roses. Looking forward to seeing your next review.
I'm always amazed by things like this. Gaming has given us an art form that provides a level of immersion and personal connectivity that no other medium can. My roommate once asked me why someone would make a tribute to someone in video game form, and said it seemed rather tasteless. But when I see something like this, I'm glad that people like the developer and also yourself are willing to do so.
Also, this has nothing to do with the subject at hand, but I had to comment on it. The new ink looks great, Roses.
This is honestly one of the best reviews I've listened to on That Dragon, Cancer. Really personal and gracefully said. I am kind of surprised you pick this up knowing your story, but I am glad you seemed to have gotten something really good from it.
What a beautiful and heartfelt review :)
That Dragon, Cancer really touched me, like a lot of other commenters, based on my experiences. Truly appreciate hearing your reflections on it.
This game is a great piece of media to show people what it's like to lose somebody that was close to you. I lost my dad that way, he was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in 2013 and we were all told that he would live at most 2 months if he was lucky, he was able to stay for 7 months. Months and months went on, the family splitting apart, the frequent trips to the hospital, the more depressed and distance that I put on myself, the therapy, it was all horrible. It was like watching somebody being tortured and having to come back to watch it all the time. By the time he had died, he couldn't speak, he couldn't move, and he couldn't use the bathroom any more than he could before. I remember when my mom got the call, she told me, left for the hospital, while I ran into the woods, and cried to myself for an hour, wanting this all to go away. After the funeral, I stayed away from school for a few weeks, not wanting to go back. It's been almost 2 years, I still get depressed, I cry still, and have to worry about dying in my 30's all the time.
I can appreciate how hard this was to review Sarah. I can't even buy it on Steam.
My dad went in for bowel cancer twice, and both times I had to keep an eye on mum and my sister, who were closer to him than I, heavier hit.
He too kept up his sense of humour, even just out of complications in surgery and a little high!
(I gave him a copy of a local paper, "Rip It Up" to read, and I mentioned the name as I handed it to him. He smiled and tore it in half. SUCH a dad joke! XD )
He overcame BOTH cases that came up, and outlived his diagnosis by about 10 or so years. (They gave him 6 months!)
Became an Ambassador for Cancer Council of SA, helping to bring in donations for other sufferers.
(Sadly a stroke got him in the end in Jan 2015 [day before mum's birthday of ALL DAYS], but he fought hard to get the decade prior to that. Tough bugger! Worried about my mum and sis again. Almost the anniversary. Time to gear up!)
+tallaussiebloke Dad jokes are the best. Probably because they are so awful.
And like the zombie virus, it eventually spreads to others. I'm...starting...to...turn! XD :)
great choice of background music from Shenmue
+Unofficial Creative Processing Yeah...
Thanks PUR, 5:50 had me in tears. I appreciate you sharing.
As a man who lost his dad to fluid in his heart, I can definitely understand where you’re coming from may our dads rest in peace
I feel kinda weird writing this, but this game really hit something deep within me that I never thought could actually be replicated in a game.
Even watching your review brings that same feeling of wretchedness that kind of pulls at the back of your mind.
My mom has been fighting colon cancer for six years that will not give up and I'm far past the point of where everyone around me is rallying and calling me everyday asking if I need anything. We just recently got through a period where she was extremely depressed and spent months talking about how she wasn't sure she would ever come back, and althrough that passed and she's back to fighting just as hard- every experience with cancer shapes you.
I still remember ever thought and sight and feeling I had, the color of the wallpaper in every hospital room and what the view out the window of every surgical waiting area was. The parts of my life before my mom was diagnosed where my biggest fears used to be spiders, or- scary movies or needles- and where the largest thing in the back of my mind was 'I wonder what my life will be like in ten years' has long since been replaced by the constant growing monster that is the stark red or blue door of the outcome of each individual cancer battle. And my mom is still here, and still fighting, and still has a chance.
It's really hard to find something to relate to- let alone someone, when you're not the person with cancer themselves. It feels so selfish to try to find help or to help yourself when you can't even do anything to help them. Although the ending of this game is a bit more defined and further along than my own experience so far, I still related to so many parts of this.
Idunno- I know a lot of people without the experiences people like you and I hold have been reviewing the game poorly relating to the religious undertones in it through the second half- but even that, I understand. You can feel the desperate struggle of faith the father holds at points and you experience the feeling of 'the only thing left is God, and even that's an uncertainty.'
Anyways- it's a really amazing game and you put exactly into words what I've felt about it as well.
Have a good day!
Wonderful review. I've watched several reviews of "That Dragon, Cancer" in the past couple of days, and while a lot of them were informative, this was the only one that was genuinely insightful. Thanks for sharing your experience, for as difficult as it is, because not only does it make your review more personal, bit also gives your audience a little taste of the experience itself. Whether that comes from playing a game about it, or watching a review of that game, it's important to have even that touch of humanity made present in the discussion.
I'm one of the very fortunate people to have had a relative have cancer and survive through it. When I was seven my grandfather contracted cancer in his hip bones. At the time, I didn't really know what cancer was, and I just thought it was some disease that people got and it got taken care of. I wasn't too sure what happened, but I think they had to replace his hip.
I kinda find it hard to relate to the premise of That Dragon, Cancer as there's never been a point in my life where I've had to fear for my grandfather's or anyone else's life to cancer (granddad is crippled and I think he can still win a barfight). But the effect and aftermath is what I think TDC does so well, and a bit subjective, but the melancholy themes could be reflective of any major tragedy a person has.
And how you describe feeling the need to cry, is how I've been feeling these past few weeks. Thanks for that.
Ha. I'm tearing up just from watching this video. There are a lot of games out there that claim to be art, but just come off as pretentious, arrogant, preachy... It's rare that we get a game in that genre which actually succeeds in it's goal. I can't pretend to know what it's like to have someone so close to me pass away from cancer. I can only imagine. But hearing others' stories, watching this video, it conjured up some pretty strong emotions. Lovely review.
Amazing little review.
I think you are very brave for picking up this title, especially with your own history and experiences with the subject matter. I personally have not been able to sit trough it yet. But, I think games like these are very important, highlighting how games can be so much for than just entertainment, but an universal tool for people to connect and share with. I hope to see more titles like That Dragon, Cancer in the future.
But, now I need to laugh, so will check out your Undertale Let´s Play. Have a great day, and thank you for making this review.
I lost my parents to cancer in 2016.
I couldn’t finish watching a gameplay video of this game, I had to stop partway through, but it was beautiful in a sad way.
i played this game when it came out many years ago and i decided to watch this video as a kind of refresher and the moment i saw that lil baby boys blob shape i started to cry and now im sobbing and i didnt know i needed to cry but i am and i did. amazing story and really amazing review of it
2015 was dominated by my Mom discovering that she had a tumor in her throat for the past 10 years. After surgery and a round of radiation treatment, we discovered that it had recurred just after Thanksgiving. Fortunately it was caught soon enough that a second surgery was all that was deemed necessary and she hasn't needed radiation since. It was a heavy year, but I'm eternally grateful that I only had to deal with a fraction of what you and the devs of this game had to. Your stories of your father and yourself make you one of the most unique reviewers I've encountered, and your candid confessionals about your childhood are always the highlight of your reviews.
In truth I haven't followed you for very long, and I've seen only enough of your content to have a vague opinion of you and how you see things. That being said, when I had heard about this game and what some people were saying about it, such as grief exploitation, I really didn't expect to care what some reviewer would say about it, thinking that the opinion would be negative. I said screw it and watched this video anyway because, you know, I have to get around to delving into your content at some point. Turns out that I actually really cared about what you had to say the minute you mentioned your own father passing away of cancer. That said "Ok, she knows what she's talking about". ... Ultimately this is not a game I would play but I think I would just buy it anyway at this point based on your opinions. If this had an impact on you so strongly and on such a personal level, then yeah, this is something that should be supported.
Thank you for sharing your story about your father, too. I know that writing this probably came with a bit of difficulty and I get that. I lost my father 5 years ago to diabetes, so I can relate a little. .. Anyway, thanks for making this video and I promise to watch more content in the near future. Take care, Roses :)
omg i was crying after the first clip we heard the audio for. my heart goes out to the family behind this game x
Your video is well done and that reminds of how i lost my best friend years ago in 2009.
He was such a great person and that damn cancer came and dies with it. Sorry for the loss of your dad and be strong indeed.
I love the style how they have gone back to the mid 90`s style of look such as Ecstatica.
How everyone has there face removed at first is kinda weird but the style used does come together so well. I think maybe this is so you can understand them and also see your self at the same time. Some did not like the game play but i find it does work very well in telling the story , Both work so well off of each other.
I lost my dad 6 months ago for cancer
your "drawing my life" video help me a lot
much love from Brazil
Thank you for bringing this game to my attention.
I don't know if I'll ever play it--I lived through cancer, cancer treatment, recovery and and currently living through remission, and I don't think I could willfully put myself through that again, even by proxy. But this disease is still out there, and anything that can help others understand, even a little, what those diagnosed, and their families, might be going through, anything that can show the seemingly endless suffering might just inspire someone to help make that suffering less in whatever small way they can.
So I may never play this game, but I'm going to support it from now on.
I lost my dad to mantle cell lymphoma last June. He tried so hard to beat it, and I donated two liters of bone marrow to help, but in the end it wasn't enough; and I know it sounds silly, but I can't help feeling guilty for not being able to save him.
I know it's already been said, but I want to say it again: Thank you so much, Sarah, for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this. I can tell you right now that I will never ever play this game--indeed, just hearing you talk about it has reduced me to a complete mess--but it makes me feel just that tiny bit better to know that someone else knows how I'm feeling.
I kinda like the minimalistic style to the graphics. Normally I complain about "walking simulators" but I don't really know how else you would make a game with this subject matter. Looks interesting, I'm glad you liked it.
The Olivia Newton John Newton John joke got a smile out of me. Thank you for sharing that with us.
I thought I made it through the video OK, but a few minutes after finishing it I started sobbing for my grandfather, who I lost to cancer when I hadn't even started school yet. I'm in college now. Later that night my mother came over to show me some videos of my grandpa from my uncle's wedding he had found recently that I have never seen and she hadn't seen in years. I thinks it's fitting.
My aunt got cancer multiple times and managed to pull through all of them. Even though I`m not that close to her, I`m glad she`s still alive.
I was welling up during this review, my own grandmother (my mum's mum) was in and out of hospital for years with cancers and tumours for years, and this review and what you said about your father, makes me terrified for my own parent's. And I personally like the games being heavy on story telling (and artsy games) since I can't really stand violence.
When I first heard of this game still in development I followed the Green's on facebook, at that time Joel was still alive and the tone during development was one of hope, in the face of all the bad news Ryan was developing this game as a way to cope with the stress but also to hopefully chronicle the story of Joel's recovery, then one day, they posted the news of Joel's death. I don't personally know these people but I was so invested in the development of the game and the story behind it that this just ruined my day, I was in tears for most of it. I never did buy the game in the end because I'm not sure I could handle it. Even just watching this review years later tears me up.
Your words of choice are brilliant as usual. Good review :] one of my favorite reviewers, and i follow some good ones !
Just listening to you talk about the game makes me want to weep.
Wellp I'll have to get this then. Honestly I do not enjoy "experience" games, mostly because of the lack of gameplay, but after this review I really want to try this one. Sorry for your loss and thank you for taking the time to spread the word of such a title.
It's such a touching and personal project, a very creative way of dealing with their situation, though I'm not sure it's something I would like to interact with. As always, great job with the review!
I can definitely say that my parents would never be able to get through this game. Not only did my father lose his mother to cancer, they had to deal with my mental disorder as an infant (of which I am cured). I barely made it through this myself. Great game and great review!
Gosh watching this video alone was really hard to do. I just lost my godmother to cancer and just couldn't bring myself to even see other people until a few days ago solely because I had a doctors appointment.
I don't know how you found the strength to play this game, let alone create a video about it. I could not have. Thank you for bringing this to those of us who, despite much less personal connection to the subject matter, don't quite have what it takes to tackle this shadow of a dragon.
Hey I think what you say in this one is beautiful and very true, you're right, sometimes it is good to be sad for a while and get out some of those bad feelings, and it's very cool and honest of you to share your personal loss like that, very sorry.
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
RB, Blade Runner 1982
So sorry for your loss. Lost my mom to cancer.
+PushingUpRoses Thanks for the Shenmue music, it takes me back ;)
The descriptions here alone made me cry, i couldnt handle the actual product itself. It would hurt too much since I've lost my cousin and aunt(on my dads side) to cancer and could've lost my aunt on my mothers side to it too though thankfully she took care of the problem and is no longer at risk of it. But to this day cancer does truly feel like some intangible beast i cant just defeat and get rid of and its kind of scary sometimes. that it could just take people i love so horribly and easily and i cant do anything. my response can only go to "its not fair! its not fair!" cause i just feel so helpless.
though for all of that, my dad would honestly make the same elton john joke and laugh. my cousin would even find it funny no doubt.
My dad's cancer has relasped recently, so just this review hits hard.
but "like" for the puns and jokes breaking up the tension of the seriousness of the game
Well, haven't played the game. But I still cried over your review.
When I was a kid and depression first started hitting, I used to try not to cry. Then one day when I was an adolescent my scientist mother explained the science behind crying, how it actually does purge the body of toxins and helps the body/brain reset emotionally, and I started letting myself cry for the cathartic (from the Greek "Katharsis" or "purification") value. It's amazing how much good a cry can do.
Also, thanks for not turning this into "STUPID RELIGIOUS PEOPLE ARE STUPID AND THEIR STUPIDNESS IS FUNNY BECAUSE I AM SO MUCH SMARTER THEN THEM HURR HURR HURR" because I cannot tell you how many atheist and agnostic people I've seen who can't help smirking and sneering when they see someone's religious faith tested -- even if it's tested by suffering and horror. Somehow they have gone beyond the ability to feel sympathy or empathy, and can only feel their own self-righteousness and smug sense of superiority. So thanks for not being one of those.
Im 4 minutes into this "review" and its sooo emotionally draining, But I could see myself "enjoying" this game. It seems more like an experience than a game just like Depression Quest.
I think these games are something that are challenging to the player in a different way than classic pc or videogames. Its not about reflexes or how good your aim is.
It challenges the player on another level, something that strikes the core.
It envokes some very human feelings, fears and also questions about life itself that are somewhat part of the core of what makes us human, the story could reach almost anyone, regardless of the cultural background. I think we need more "games" like this cause even though they might be challenging, its also something to grow on, a true experience somethings that lasts even though the game has been long finished, something that sticks with you, changes your view on life.
Well at least thats my thoughts on this. Great review, i also liked the short, little more light hearted break in the middle cause you really went in early for the hard hitting footage of the game.
This is certainly the most personal review you have ever done and i think that really aids the review in many ways. It just makes the review so much more genuine.
You bring up an excellent point about catharsis. Yeah, it's exhausting getting up to that point, but the peace and relief you feel afterwards is worth it. Sometimes you need a good cry and that's not a bad thing.
I'm also really glad that you are able to relate to the game even with its religious elements. Many people called this game preachy and said that it's trying to push Christianity at you. I didn't see it that way all. It's about a man who happens to be religious and how that intersects with this traumatic moment in his life.
You are a wonderful reviewer. I've known about you for a while, but never really watched your stuff. I'm really glad I did. I find your videos to be both poignant and funny.
I have no words, other than to say thank you. I really don't know what else to say.
Damn. You managed to make me cry by the end of your review.
I don't think this game will only affect those who have had to deal with the terrible toll of cancer. I think it will also speak volumes to anyone of us that have experienced loss of any kind... And although I don't wish to play it (last thing I want is to relive the experience of losing my own dad) a game that can fire up that raw nerve, however uncomfortable, is clearly doing something right.
Good music choice with the Shenmue soundtrack... And I noticed you've left your intro and outro off, out of respect I assume. You're all class. :)
Excellent review. Thank you for making it.
Watching someone go through cancer is a horrible experience. My grandpa has colon cancer. He was diagnosed in 2005 and was given about 6 months to live, but he's still alive (barely). He can't move on his own and because of his advanced Altzheimer's he can't remember me, or his daughters, or his wife or anyone except people from his youth because of it. He is in terrible shape, and has been for years now, and seeing someone in that condition, someone who is dear to you, is crushing. It's gotten to the point where I wish he would die already, as terrible as that sounds, because he's in pain, he can't remember anything, he cannot move, he can't eat by himself... and this whole thing is hard emotionally and even financially to my grandma, mom and aunt, and even me. Seeing him in the condition he's in, and seeing that dull look in his eyes when he looks at me, like he doesn't have a clue who I am is numbing...
I've also had a family friend, someone who was almost like a second mom to me when I was a kid (she was our neighbor and her kids were my best friends at the time, her daughter like an older sister) die a while back from cancer after a long battle. It's still hard to cope with the fact that she's actually gone and I'll never hear her call me that nickname that she gave me...
Your review made me tear up. It hit pretty hard.
I doubt I could ever play this game, I don't think I'd have the courage to, but I appreciate the message and the story of it, and it's nice to know that there are others out there struggling with loved ones having cancer.
I have to say that this video was really undercut by the ad at the end, where a man tells a weed he's about to spray. "Where you're going, prayer won't help you."