I was a homeless fentanyl addict for 6 years, and this song was always on my playlist because he said, "I'm sober now for 3 whole months..." and I looked forward to finally saying that. I just celebrated 2 years clean, and my life is amazing now.
The first line hits deep. "I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head" I've been listening to this song since I was a teenager and it still resonates as I'm almost 30.
What kills me is that almost 13 years later this song still pulls on my heart. To all those still struggling the long battle of depression, you're not alone. The fog will lift.
@@joshriley1955 It might not lift, but maybe you can learn to live with it. Don't search for eternal happiness but a point where you can say ok, I can live with this.
@@amandamcgraw2586 Hang in there you matter in this world you can help others please help me to help other people so there families don't go through this it's not easy losing my baby!
If you're reading this and crying as I am, just hold on. Please, just hold on one more day. You are loved. You have so much love and life to give, just give it one more day.
My name is Nat. I'm a 40 year old female who is also a recovering opiate addict. I'm posting here to let anyone who needs to hear this know, there is always hope! I spent all of my 20s and most of my 30s chasing a high. June 10th, 2024 was 6 years and 5 months clean for me! Whatever demons you're battling, please know you're not alone. Each of us has a demon or demons we're fighting every single day. Wherever you are, whoever you are, just know this random woman right here is sending you love, positivity, and hope for better days ahead. My life today is a testament to that!
I'm so sorry, it's so hard! My husband of 30 years died on November 1st.... I'm not sure how to function without him 💔 take care of yourself the best you can.....🤗
@@georgiaross6741 I'm so sorry. Iwas with my husband for 30 years too. He passed January 2020. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it really doesn't. You do learn to cope though. He was my whole world.
Damn seeing all these comments of people being clean just makes me happy for you all! Keep up the good fight no matter how hard it gets! Love to you all!
YES! Addiction isn't easy on anyone! So proud of ppl who are staying clean and working on themselves!! Keep up the wonderful and yet hard work of staying sober!!
At first when i saw the comments, i thought 'wow there's a lot of darkness'. Then i saw it through a wider lens and realized it was all light. I'm so glad we're all still here ❤
Bro I heard this song when I was young, before I ever had thoughts of pain or anguish or suicide or suffering. Hearing it again at 30 after drug addiction,divorce, and 3 suicide attempts then finally freeing myself from drugs and trying to piece it back together and it being to late to save my relationship with alot of people including my wife. Just has me sitting in my job like tearing up. I'm sober and healthy today but shit what a life we survived huh...
Sometimes (usually around 3 in the morning- something about 3 am)I can't decide if what I have left was worth the war I waged to "survive". Most of the time I know that survival is ultimately worth any cost but I just lost so much over the years. No, "lost" isn't the right word; "wasted" is the more honest word choice. By choosing years of intense alcoholism and drug use, I wasted so many chances and opportunities in life. Don't get me wrong, I was somehow more functional than many people are.. I raised both of my kids while working 50+ hour weeks, never losing custody of then to social services. I worked as hard as I played. But I was also moody and irritable, often bad tempered and demanding. I chose to live 1200 miles from any immediate family in order to more easily hide my addictions and habits. The cost? I barely know my family anymore and they hardly know me. I didn't really feel the pain of separation or loneliness until my kids were grown and moved out. And they unfortunately learned their idea of "normal" from me; I rarely ever hear from them though I love them more than life itself and would give anything to be invited into their worlds. They're happy enough to hear from me when I'm able to catch them with a few spare minutes to talk; there was never a falling out or hard feelings between us. They just watched me create and maintain a certain distance from my family for so long that it seems normal to them for us to only see one another a few times a year and to talk on the phone when they "think about it." I'm simply not necessary to their existence or happiness. I'm very proud of them both but would give anything to be actually WANTED or NEEDED- to be an important part of their lives. But I'm eternally grateful that they turned out so well. It had to be God's Hand on them because I certainly didn't make great choices. I'm two years clean now and struggle daily to find a reason to remain so. So far I'm winning but don't know if this soul-deep sadness is sustainable in the long run substance free. For now though I keep trudging through the mire, always hoping to one day wake up and find happiness again. I wish joy, strength, and purposeful living to everyone out there; thank you so much for reading all this... Peace ☮️ and Love 💗 Always!!
Man. I feel this comment bro. I’m 35. I was a freshman in high school I think when this song came out and I could only attribute it to breaking up. I’ve heard this a million times but it was just still playing in the airwaves at the time. Well it’s been like 10 yes since I heard it. And lemme just say everything you said…yep. I felt that like 1000%
Tauney Elysia The line that makes me break down is, “You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take.” No matter how many times I listen to this song, I sob. If you’ve ever struggled with an addiction or love an addict, this song hit you right there in the most tender part of your soul.
I'll have 19 years sober this month, and this song still brings a tear to my eye because I remember the damage, the misery, and despair. I'm so grateful to now be free.
my mom lost her battle with mental health July 20th 2023, this song was the first real thing that made me process her passing and gave me my first, real, big cry over it. i had to be strong for my older sisters and for my moms loved ones and so i packed all my feelings away until i made her memorial video to play at her funeral, and this song was one of three i used .... and i broke. i always loved this song growing up, but now ... now i have a whole new love for this song!
I’m 8 years sober this year. I can’t hear this song without crying. It reminds me of me and my mother when I was using and all the pain I put her through. I never thought I’d be able to get sober at the time, even when I wanted to. I love my mom so much and she’s been so supportive all throughout my recovery. This song is beautiful and a reminder of where I never want to be again.
I'm sure she loved you the most upon her exit, if she's no longer around. I put my mother through the same but I'm sure on an elevated measure. She not only forgave me, but nor would she leave this Earth without my voice being the last voice she heard upon leaving. That my friend is what unconditional love is all about. Don't be hard on yourself. Your mother's love is what forever is all about. Sending blessings your way. Stay strong.
I can finally understand why my husband listened to this song the last few months of his life. He didnt suffer from addiction rather a brain tumor. I whole heartedly believe he knew he was going to die soon. And I think in his way of dealing with his own mortality became the realization that I would be left to pick up the pieces for our kids and I and I think he thought if I was mad at him it would make it easier for me to move forward. Its been almost 3 months and it hasn't gotten easier at all. Im drowning. But this song weirdly brings me peace and some understanding of his mindset and clarity on some of our last conversations.
@@samied5527 I can relate. I think people who listen to billy eillish probably have a brain tumor. I think that should be a question asked in medical facilities. Do you find yourself listening to billy eilish and even enjoying the music - if yes = possible a brain tumor case. She could go down in history for being the best way to detect a brain tumor.
If you don't drink for a solid year, you can be it over time. Real talk......IF you relapse after the year sober of alcohol, chances are it will make you sick to drink by year 2 you should be "recover ed". Stop drinking for 1 year, try it. Safely though. I don't know your alcohol intake though as of now.
This song has had so many meanings to me throughout the years. It never gets old, and I play it on repeat at times. I was pregnant with my son when I heard it for the first time. It was extremely rough to hear, but the two of us are here today together and thriving.
With you! Keep fighting and see the good even when it's hard and it hurts. Do the best that you can. You are here for a reson even if it hasn't shown itself yet.
FLY high Alicia Jean Dougherty, Tell Crystal Rose Orr I miss her. You two take care of each other. I got your dad's back along with a billion other people. Till we meet again
This has to be one of the most underrated unappreciated songs ever written. When there is honesty and emotion there is absolutely electric vibes that make a song an unforgettable hit. This song has so much meaning to me, lost friends of overdose, suicide, depression. It's never easy to explain or express those feelings and or thoughts. Please don't forget how important each of you are, and if you need support please talk to someone. I know first hand that, when my step mom committed suicide she was in so much emotional pain and thought it would leave with her. Believe me, it didn't, it amplified and spread to all 5 of us kids, and several grand children. We miss her deeply. I've never talked about anything this this before online. But today I felt like in October 2021 we could all use love and support. I just want to spread positive thoughts and vibes to everyone in the comments. I have a saying, it's Make your own luck. I believe in that. Have a blessed day 🙏❤️
I love this. My quote to guide me through is "Don't ever let your light burn out. There is so much darkness in the world that can blow you away; but the more light that shines, the more good that becomes. Shine bright and be strong. There are others that need that light."
HideousAngel Everyone has something. We’re all in this together. Be kind. Stay strong. Take a deep breath. Take a moment. Take a nap (who doesn’t love naps) Tomorrow will look better. I promise you this.
And there are so many of those rat faced bastards out there it makes me physically and mentally sick... be strong live as whatever god you keep,and be blessed. Just believe
Drug addicts are not like the rest of us. They're not human. They're humanoid mutants. They infest urban areas and prefer to reside in filthy and decayed or dilapidated conditions. They use public washrooms for consuming drugs instead of shitting or pissing. They should be exterminated and purged from the planet.
@@ethanmaccullouch2776 - not all do those things n remember everyone struggling is someone's mother/father/sister/brother/daughter/son/husband/wife; you HAVE NO IDEA the suffering that drove one over the edge until you've lived it n have NO ROOM TO JUDGE - everyone has a vice, some thrice, the hell of pain n suffering one's subjected to is merely a roll of the dice; WE'RE ALL ONE MISTAKE AWAY FROM A TOTALLY DIFFERENT LIFE❣🙏
I feel like this song is for all of us mothers out there whose babies are struggling with addiction/depression. It's a struggle that can be lost or won at any single second of any single day. 💔
I am one. Alcohol has been my water for the past 10 years.. daily. I wake up every morning and work my full 40+ but when I get home, the bottle is there. What hurts me is, I make an excuse of not visiting my loved ones just to have a brew. Resolutions are hard. I've failed time and time again. But cut backs are much easier. I've been sober now for 5 days. Gunna definitely have a couple this weekend. Then, back to dry. Moderation counts! And I can spend more time with my Mom❤
I was only a toddler when i last saw my biological father. He died of an overdose when i was five. I always hated myself and felt like i wasn't good enough, not even for my own father to stick around. I wished that maybe one day he would sober up and be a part of my life. but then he died of an overdose before we ever got the happily ever after i longed to have. I hated him my whole childhood for leaving and vowed i would never let myself love him. but now im 13 with depression and i understand how bad it hurts, and how he just wanted that moment of bliss he got from the drugs. he desperately needed a way to let himself smile and laugh and an escape from all the pain. Now that I am much older i cant help but love him and forgive him, and i hope he will be waiting for me at the gates of heaven where our happily ever after can really come true ( i was adopted by a guy who completely fell in love with my mother and gave me all the love in the world. he means so so very much to me. he will always be my dad. but everyone tells me i shouldnt want a relationship with my biological father because I have my dad and i understand where they are coming from. but i want both i know that sounds selfish but i love the man who stepped up to be my dad when I needed one most but at the same time I would have also loved to build a relationship with my biological father someday)
This song makes me think of my mother, God bless her, she married a good but broken man, who then gave her 2 good but broken sons who fell into addiction with their dad. Who needed their mom to keep them alive when their dad died too early from those drugs, who helps those 2 good but broken sons with their own kids, so they don't become broken. Mother's cannot be praised enough
I cry more for my mom than myself....we talk about "my time", she said, "Don't talk to me about it Kelly, they'll have to bury me with you...." now as a mother, God my heart just shatters when I think of my mom and my kid 💔
still can't listen to this 10 years later without crying. It's the most soul-touching song i've ever heard and i've yet to find another that hurts me the same way. I love you, sorry for all the things I didn't do, for you.
This song is so full of feelings, so full of meaning. Even the singer is so touched by it that he hurt his finger playing it during the video making. That was not staged, it actually happened. This song is what I sing silently to many members of my family and acquaintances/partners that I failed to along my life.
Summer Fender Did they include the part where he hurt his finger while recording the video? If yes, would you mind telling me at what time it happens? I watched again but didn't see it. Either way, I agree that you can literally feel the emotions from him coming at you right through the screen. Almost feels like he's staring right at me while singing and that the song was written for me.... It's so weird I know, but I can't think of another song that has had such a crazy affect on me.
+Christina Sanders Check from 3:17 to 3:45. You can see his middle finger all bloody from the cords friction. And we feel the same way about the song, that probably means we have deep, good feelings haha.
RIP for all of those who did not surive the silent battle of depression and hang in there to those who are fighting it currently, words from a fellow warrior: it gets better ❤
When the weight of yesterday has a grip on you.. Know that your pain and suffering can be a motivator to find the best version of you.. Always know your life matters.. Despite the failure of our past..
If you’re here today … you’re not alone … you got this ! I know some days are hard … I’m praying for you …. I’m cheering for you although may not hear me … Im here 🥰
hi everyone. my name’s hailey and im 15, a sophomore in highschool. my whole life ive struggled with depression, being bullied til the point even my teachers and principal bullied me, hating me for nothing. i would sometimes come home and get mentally abused by my mom. im convinced my mother hates me. shes 42, we have such a messy and horrible living situation and my mom got pregnant again not even a year ago, giving birth to my baby brother. hes my whole world, probably the only reason im here right now. im currently homeschooled, best decision of my life but i hate being home with my family. my dad goes to work all the time and has another family but i always see him when he comes home for the week. i love my dad and my dad loves me, even after what hes done to my whole family. everytime he picks me up we blast metal, or rock. he loved all of that growing up and so did i. but i decided to play this song, hate me by blue October. i didnt even know my dad knew this song, until he stared at me and sung it with me. what touched me the most what “til’ i saw your blue eyes cry, and i held your face in my hands.” see, i have blue eyes, everytime i cried to my dad about my mom he would always hold me. thank you, justin, for saving me with this song. its 2024 now, im still alive and fighting depression. im almost a year clean from sh, still on nic but trying to quit. just letting anyone know if your going through something, please talk to someone before its too late.
I was the blue eyed one, my son has brown eyes. He dedicated this song to me. Hold on ms Hailey, life is going to throw a lot more stuff your way, just HOLD ON like the REM song (everybody hurts) THAT song is from all od us to each other.
@@hilarycastle4937 this is the FIRST and only comment I have read in an hour on this video, that made me go EH????. And I seriously hope your comment as well as mine will forever from here forward....BE IGNORED
I am 7 years clean and sober this year. This song got me through so many of my dark days. If you're struggling, I BELIEVE IN YOU. I promise life gets so much better 😭
This was my dads favorite song, he struggled my whole life with drugs and depression, I'm 30 now. We lost him 5 years ago. Every time I come back to this song I feel him with me.
I'm sorry for your loss I lost my mom in 2015 to alcohol addiction and my baby sister who was 24 to her sh*t being laced because she wanted to leave the man she was with for her husband and get clean in 2018
Sorry to hear that..sorry for your loss.. I struggled with heroin for years. I did ten dollars worth that ended up being fentanyl and almost died and was revived with narcan. As sick as it sound it saved me and I found God. Drugs are the devil on earth.
I hope that you know that while your dad, may he rest in paradise, fought his demons, that he loved you more than you’ll ever know. (God put this on my heart to tell you)
This is probably the 1357th time I've heard this song, and it's more relevant to me today than it was when I first became obsessed. I so wish I didn't relate so much to Justin's words and voice and inflection, but I do. This song brings me to tears so often.
This song is the reason I’m sober and alive today. Godbbless to this band. Both parents overdosed. I’m all I got and I’m single mom but this song helps me every day.
I love this song it's so beautiful I love how Justin expresses himself so dark as he is feeling...reminds me of my life and meds betrayal and pain and then my last true love in a shirt time I loved him so fast and he left my side I don't c anyone now in my path it's like I have scales on my eyes...I love how he walks to the cemetery and has his glasses on and head held high... I love you blue October beautiful song so deep so amazing I relate to each scene and all the pain....beatriz
Damn, that line: "In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night, while i was waging war on myself you were trying to stop the fight." really is powerful. Not only about addicts but from people suffering from anxiety and depression. We wage wars with ourselves and the people outside of us try their best to stop that.
How many times I sat on the floor holding my son as he cried and puked and took another pill and drink HE lost it when he lost his sister. When he got better, I lost it because he dedicated this song to me. I was addicted to RX's ( because they make it all better right? NOT) We are both sober today and have a good relationship. Forever 25, Crystal Rose Orr. My son dedicated this song to me because I was grieving my daughter as I tried to hold him together. Man life is unfair sometimes.
Man the tears that fall when this song plays. I try to hate you dad, but I can't it hurts. I don't know where u are or if ur still alive, but I love you and hope ur sober.
>> everyone here understands whatever pain you’re going thru No, they don't. You had to be there to get the joke. -Clean & sober twenty years this coming October
Not in recovery myself, but I started dating a girl last July who was in recovery(alcohol). She relapsed in May and did a 30 day rehab. I visited and tried to support her however I could. She got out on Memorial Day. The next day she went on a drinking binge and never came home that night. Her sponsor found her and took her back to rehab. She's doing another 30 day stint and may move back to sober living when she gets out. She told me this past weekend that she still loves me, but she can't be in a relationship right now. It's killing me because all I want to do is be there for her. I have to let her do what she thinks is best for her health. I'm dying inside, tho. Just wanted somebody to hear it. Much love, y'all!❤
I can relate. I kept people at arms length or wanted them to go away just so I knew I wasn’t destroying them or holding them hostage. I wanted everyone to leave me alone while silently pleading for them not to leave me all alone. Addiction is a disease that tries everyday to convince me that I don’t have it. I would contend everyday with feelings of inadequacy and self-fabricated failures based only in my mind. I would be paralyzed by anxiety thinking, what are they thinking of me instead of how do I feel about me. I was my biggest critic and held myself to unreachable standards, of which I would inevitably fall short. I then hated myself for not achieving my completely unattainable goals. It does get easier as long as we seek help. The journey can be tough but is something that we own and no one can take it from us. I’m sober almost three years now and it’s three years I can actually remember and was a part of. It’s not a life beyond my wildest dreams by any means but it’s a life I can be happy with because I built it myself. The strength to live is within each of us and we all deserve happiness. Much love.
addiction cost me 20 years in the pen. a string of robberies..my daughter was an infant when I fell and a young woman upon my release. been 7 years back in her life..27 years clean !
Omg! I finally found it. Been way tooooo long I haven’t heard this song. Emotional Powerful. For those who are still fighting and that are still here. I’m proud of y’all. Hang in there. And keep fighting. You are important! Stay strong and keep fighting. Live your life to the fullest.
Lost my mom to addiction almost 2 years ago. This song hits harder now than ever. I am now becoming an addiction counselor in May after receiving my degree. I hope wherever she is she knows I love her and did this for her. ❤
my condolences to you your mother knows the love you have for her whenever you feel alone talk to her it helps and congrats on the new career we need more like you
Lost my mom today in 2022 at 23. 6 months later I finally got clean like she always wanted. She never gave up, yet I caused her so much pain… I hope somehow she knows how sorry I am.
For anyone out there still Fighting their demons. You're amazing and beautiful. I love you and hope you know others do as well. You're stronger than your demons can ever be.
Why are we, the good people, inside the house on our social media and comforting people we don't know. I am hella glad you ALL exist because I thought humanity was over. Not one comment divided us because we LOVE and CARE .
@@SndyOr I believe we as a society should have each other's backs. We're all in the earth together so we should be working together to better it for our children's future. Lift each other up instead of putting each other down.
@@wanderingtruthseeker7426 Its just really an ugly place out there. I am glad that we can all still help each other. I wonder how many of you, I worked with or go to church with, or met in a store. We don't always know what people are going through. It just amazes me that their are REALLY so many good hearts . We are all blessed. ♥
Every time I listen to this I'm reminded of the savagery and cruelty of the voices in my head. All the regrets they can play on. It makes me want to fight harder for all those who refused to leave me behind in the darkest days.
2023 pain of heart from any situation is a lingering thing!! This song makes me miss my grandmother so much!! 🙏🏽🕊️ I wish I did more for you granny I love you!!
Thanks God for the moms that never let up or let us get too far out in the deep end.......most people think that's annoying blows em up always askin how they are or if they need to talk.....cuz i promise ya once that phone never rings anymore cuz that persons fight in life is done you'll miss every min of the lil annoying things they did the most......society molds people into assuming or associating annoying habits with a insecure or needy person when that couldn't be further from the case......people that call or try to see how you are even when we're being difficult human beings that my friends is that true unconditional love that so many people are so busy tryin to find that they dont notice it right in front of their face until its gone
I always loved this song and told my bf that it felt like it was written for me by him. Then he died of an overdose a month ago and this song spontaneously starts while playing another song. If this song didn’t already mean so much to me..,losing him and being without him because of his addiction, you can be absolutely sure how much more it does and how hard it is to listen to now. S+J
My bf died by overdose also. It's been 6 years now. I just wanted to tell you that it does get easier to breathe eventually. I won't lie and say that it happens quickly because it doesn't. And some days will be ok and then some will be the worst. Just give yourself space and understanding especially because not everyone else will. I'm so so sorry you're going through this.
Such raw emotion Talking about touchy issues being brave saying I’m not ok and that it’s ok not to be ok most can’t even speak about it but he made this beautiful song
My cousin hung himself in June 2013, and this song was one of his favorites. He used to get me to play it every time we'd go out riding around. This year makes it ten years since then. Love ya, Matt.
Or too smart to have royally f'cked up your life to the point you NEED the person you love to hate you...Personally I try not to drink myself into a coma or drug myself to the sky, or abuse the people around me emotionally or violently, or cheat on a date cos after all what's the point of dating if you're going to see other people too, not to mention suicide which is selfish because it only hurts the people you leave behind. xD Best way not to get addicted to something? *psst* DON'T START IT.
I don't have depression, I'm not fighting with anything, I just think this is a good song I'm leaving this for the people who are, you're not alone, you are loved, you can make it Rest in Peace to the people who didn't make it ♥
I'm in my 8th month of rehab in Ottawa.. Did heroin for 17 yes and coke for about 20..I feel great now but its still a struggle.. Clean since September 13/2016
Your doing great, its hard as hell. I domt personally think it ever gets easier, but it gets way more rewarding, and seems to me now, after almost 3 years, to be the thing I value and treasure the most and the 1 thing I take the most pride and find to be the most self respective quality I possess. I truly dont know why out of everyone Ive befriended, and shared so many steps with, along so amny different paths, it is me who is still standing. as stromg as I can. maybe its random, maybe theres a reason, EITHER WAY I have decided at least to apprichiate that aspect and to apy respects for those amny many fallen friends and foes, This is the most important thing I can do.
Jason DeMille I wish the best for you it's a horrible disease where people don't know what it's like to deal with in recovery and ect. I lost my cousin last year from that he was only 22 years old. Keep thinking to yourself I got this and prove others wrong.
one of the most painful things for me EVER was deleting old voicemail messages from my mother and deleting her phone number from my phone. always hurt when scrolling through and seeing her name... and wanting to call and talk to her one last time. here i am, almost 50 years old... lost her 12 years ago... and eyes watering and pain in my heart every time i listen to this song, watch this video, and read all your comments. one thing i try to explain to younger people... NEVER take for granted the love of your parents. appreciate everything they are and everything they do. enjoy your time with them and try to never have any regrets. it will eat you up inside later on ...when its too late.
Im also in my 50's and so much regret deleting voice messages my mom would leave. especially the last one of her wishing me a happy birthday and telling me about the day i was born. I never thought she would pass away the next day. I miss her so much and her lovely voice. So many times when she was alive i would take the time we had for granted thinking we had many years to come and not doing or spending quality time with my mom. I miss you mom, im sorry.
now my son is doing the same as i did with my mom. I feel that one day he will also feel how im feeling now. im praying that it doesnt but its seems to be heading in that direction.
Ya my mother died 4 years ago as of February 9th so this song reminds me of me trying to tell her to stop her addiction. Many years later I tried before my parents passed away so they never seen there grandson's 18th birthday all 4 of them ask me daily what happened, I have no choice but to tell the truth. God wish they would've listened. My best friend since college also took his own life last year leaving behind me all his friends and family so this song hits hard.
This was me and my mother’s relationship for so many years....nights she stayed by my side praying I wouldn’t stop breathing. I put her through hell and I’m just glad she never gave up on me. A mother’s love for her child is endless.....
I feel you. A mothers love. I put my family through hell. My wife stuck by me my son wouldn't talk to me for months. Good women in your life is a god send. Stay strong.
My momma played this song constantly while i was growing up...she was so loving and did the best she could for me but she battled with addiction....she was found dead in a creek in mississippi and i find myself taking everything to feel nothing because it hurts so bad...please pray for me and my family.
best of luck I hope things get better it hurt to lose people to drugs and it makes you want to do drugs, I get high a lot but at least I'm not doing pills. Just strive for better and try to get help. My brother was the same we were both based and he found drugs to cope with it after it got really bad for him where he almost died I said fuck it a joined him. I've been sober off morphine and opioids for a year now and pills for 4 months. You can do it you just gotta believe!
My mother is an addict, and I have a no contact order, I know some day I'm gonna get the call that shes gone. Its hurts. She wasnt always a bad mom, but she just cant get clean and isnt safe around my kids. I hope you find peace, in whatever way you can, and I hope you know that there is NOTHING you could have done. Its ugly, addiction, and it destroys families, but none of it was ever your fault
Cody Seargeant if one day you see this I always loved you and my babies but after I finally had a soul that touched mine so deeply it completely changed my world I finally did it for the first time ever in my 40 years. My 40th birthday meant more than you'll ever know!!! When I lost you my light slowly dimmed into complete darkness again. I hope God finishes me for good I'm a nobody I'm not going to survive this one. I love you
If someone notices this, I'm still alive and loving you. I'm proud of every ounce of effort, for every time you said no when you wanted to say yes. I'm grateful for every moment, every hour that you are still here on this earth. Your existence is a blessing in spite of everything the voices and memories inside your head will tell you. I do not care if your biological family has disowned you, if your significant other will not answer your calls, or if you haven't been present for your child. These things take time, humility, patience, grace, and self-love. Work on that last one because it is the greatest one you will ever know. You have a purpose, a reason for being, and don't ever doubt that. Even if it is just some stranger on the internet, I love you and my life is better for having you in it. Humanity is a family separated by fractions of a percent of DNA. You are all my family. Perfectly imperfect, but striving for better. Keep going. I'm here, cheering you on. Always ❤️
I still love this song. And the entire album is great; it’s virtually the only album I’ve ever listened to in which I like every song on there. That’s a rare thing. Darn good band that’s sadly underrated.
This song, wow. My life with my son. He's 37 now and we started on this road 22 YEARS ago. If you please pray for me & especially my son, my only child. Thank you.
This song is based on real life. The answering machine in the beginning and end, are real. The Mother was making sure her son was taking his emotional support Medications. He stopped his meds and killed himself. The messages from his Mother and Girlfriend were left after he was dead. You might find the story if you search it.
I WILL definitely pray for you. Had two, lost one and then I joined your journey. My only child, on this earth anyway, is my son who is now 34. I had to put MY grief on hold as I watched hit the pitts of hell, Had my daughter survived Surgery, she would have been 36. I hope you are ok as well as your son and I hope you see this.
Completely lost it tonight when he sang 'in my sick way i want to thank you for holding my head late at night. While I was busy waging wars on myself you were trying to stop the fight.' Me, my Mom and my bipolar disorder. My journey is a lot less extreme than some, but I wish I hadn't and continue to drag her through so much. But I'm so thankful she's there. if you have a fighter on your side, hug them tight.
My dad died of an od 24 years ago, I followed in his footsteps years later... I've od, 3 times.. my teenage son found me... the hate that a heroine addict feels towards themselves is crippling... 4 months clean now ... one breath at a time ... congrats to all of you that have found your way to back..
Thank you all... it really does get easier. NEVER did I think I would hear myself say those words... the depression has subsided a Lot.. not saying I don't still have difficult days... I am 7 days away from my 7 month :-) this song here is part of my music therapy... with every breath, every min, every hour and every day.... those of you fighting this fight, stay strong
I haven’t beat depression because in my case and almost everyone else with depression, it does not disappear but the symptoms are manageable. I have not suicidal thoughts and no longer self harm. I still struggle with anxiety and sometimes sadness but I’m grateful for the good things that I made achieved being here today.
When I first heard this song when it was released, I thought how tragically beautiful it was. Now, as the father of a high-functioning autistic child who has his own demons, the song helps me understand him when he's having a crisis and makes me a better father. And, yes, I still think that the song is one of the most beautiful ones I've ever heard in my 63 years on this planet.
Believe it or not, today is the first time I heard this song. It was among a platlist I was listning to. I've listen to it 4 times so far and it has really hit me. By the grace of God I have been clean for 33 years and the emotions are still there of the fear and pain I put my mom through. My mom has been gone for 22 years now and I miss her everyday. She not only gave me life but helped save it. Although she died from cancer I can never get the thought out of my head that I might of shaved a few years off her life. I am grateful that she saw me clean, get married and I was able to give her a grandson that she could enjoy for a few years. She is always in my heart and I hope to be with her again when its time. To anyone struggling out there, don't give up and fight everyday. It's a wonderful life!
I’m proud of you and I know your mom is proud of you too man, I don’t know you but I love you and I wish you a long happy life with your wife and kids. You got this!
Keep on fighting everyone I battle silent wars with myself every day I never thought I could be good enough to have somebody now I have a step daughter and looking into her eyes makes my want to keep pushing on everyday. There is light at the end of every dark tunnel sometimes we have to fight hard to see it I feel for everyone who has depression
I'm so sorry for what your going through I am the same way I had this depression for the longest time but I pray on myself all the time I have good days and bad days I ask God to remove the way I feel at times our lord is what keeps me together I have so much faith I can't do it without him carry your faith at all times things
Its 2024. I made it thru the biggest trial in my life. I made it thru the biggest hole in my heart and soul. I made it thru the biggest depressive pits of my entire life. But I made it thru and got my daughter back on the other side after almost 7 years of parental alienation. For someone who has mdd, bpd, cptsd, sad, a tbi, anxiety disorders, panic attacks, life is a constant battle. But every new day we've made it thru, and weve survived ❤❤
I have had such a hard time lately physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am so exhausted. It’s 1:30 am and i’m crying to this song after seeking it out for the first time in forever. Over a decade later and it still hits so hard 🖤 for everyone else out there struggling: you are loved, you matter, and you are stronger than you think you are. We will get through this.
I used to listen to this song all the time with my mom, on the way to school, on the way to the park, Just all the time. In 2015 she died from diabetes and kidney failure when i was 9, and for a while I couldnt bear to hear it. But now I'm 17 and last year I started getting back into it and this song is now the closest I get to feeling like she is back. It hurts sometimes but this song brings back some of the happiness I felt when I was a kid.
Sounds like you are finally processing the loss. I lost my Dad at 18. We didn't have a song, but it took me decades to accept that he was gone. Still makes me sad thinking about it, and it's been 30 years. I believe we'll see our loved ones again. I couldn't go on if I didn't have that belief.
Good job man that’s what you need to do you take music in you turn it around to be good for you it’s terrible when you turn it around the other way and it’s sad when you hear a song you think about somebody the song should celebrate that person and that’s a good song what if you can celebrate somebody’s life with that song you got it brother God bless you and sending you love and light Namaste
This song accurately describes my entire childhood. During my parents' divorce, I distanced myself emotionally from my mother because she was tearing the family apart. I was trying to make it easier for her to abandon us in a selfish way. It worked, and I've been unable to learn to love again. If you are divorcing, NEVER force your kids make the decision to forsake one of their families on your behalf. Both of my parents failed my brother and I. We ended up raising ourselves because of neglect, and we're scarred because of it. My father and mother were both narcissists, so I was raised as a burden to the family. My unit stopped me from taking my own life and God intervened for me. But my point is parents shape the foundation of their children's understanding of themselves. Mine forsook me and it lead me down a dark path, don't do the same.
I literally was writing the same comment...feel that 100% too. So many struggles & pain & stories...this world often feels like a merry go round you just want to get off of. But I guess there is honor & heroism in just surviving it.
My best friends brother sent this song to his mom days before he lost his battle to addiction. He expressed how he related to this song because at times he wanted his family to hate him so they wouldn’t worry about him anymore. This song was mentioned at his funeral. Every time I hear this song I see him and his struggle and his family. Please if you’re struggling please don’t give up that fight. Do it for yourself. Do it for the people who will loose their lives mourning your death. You are loved. Life is hard but you just have to keep fighting no matter what. Don’t give up please I’m begging you, it’s not worth it.
My son's name was cody I woke up and found him dead on my bedroom floor from a heroin overdose mixed with fentanyl home from rehab 34 days just one more time Mom I wish I would've broken his knee to keep him from leaving this will haunt me forever just one more time
Oh God I'm trying so fucking hard! If I don't get over my husband's past infidelity from back in April I'll be gone I've had enough with childhood trauma, being the family disappointment, being alone all my life with no one to hear my cries. Forgiveness is one thing but remembering and trying not to compare myself to the other woman is another thing. I fight demons in my head every single day my head is like a prison.
things that aren't important and things you don't fully grasp when you are young , you will realize differently when you are older. you realize everything you took for granted were the things you made important ..and you end up with regrets and realize how differently you should have felt and done thing
This song brings tears to my eyes. I’m seeing what I would’ve given up so many years ago, but here I am, life in a direction I couldn’t see and I’m glad that I can live to tell the tale.
My husband and I have been in recovery since April 2, 2008. This song helped me through a lot of darkness and guilt, and many of Blue October's other songs helped me in the intervening years. We've seen him in concert with the rest of the band 5 times, and have met Justin several times. We finally got the chance to get VIP tickets to his Open Book Tour, which allowed us a few minutes to speak with him, personally, and tell him how much he'd helped on our own road to recovery. Shaking his hand and thanking him to his face was an amazing experience, and like the truly good person he is, he was gracious and amazingly receptive. He must hear it a dozen times a day, but in that moment, we felt like he heard us and was proud to have played a role in our sobriety. His humility is awesome to witness, and even after all of this time, we remain huge fans, and we're now 14 years sober.
Mel, that's amazing! You and your hubby rock and I love this for you both. I know the struggle myself, and it's no joke. The sheer strength it takes to remain sober comes from so deep . Keep fighting and working it. You're in my thoughts.
Never has been drugs for me just depression and suicidal thoughts. Anxiety. I often feel this world isn't for me. I feel I wont be able to be a good father, friend, spouse. Never can turn it off. If anyone is dealing with the same I hope you have more strength than I do.
You have the strength you get up and the power to say to yourself I can do this. The power to believe in yourself. And keep trying your best. Many BLESSINGS to you. @James self
Been struggling with severe depression and addiction for years... This song will always get to me. It makes me think about my mom and all the pain I put her through yet she never gave up on me & still hasn't... 💔😭
You got this. Your Mom is super proud of you because you're still here, you're still fighting! You'll beat that addiction. I promise. I'm still trying to beat my addiction. God first, head up. We got this! ❤
Видеоклипы
![Blue October - Hate Me (10th Anniversary) [Live]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Y3F3AcnGFWw/mqdefault.jpg)
![Slipknot - Snuff [OFFICIAL VIDEO] [HD]](/img/1.gif)
I was a homeless fentanyl addict for 6 years, and this song was always on my playlist because he said, "I'm sober now for 3 whole months..." and I looked forward to finally saying that. I just celebrated 2 years clean, and my life is amazing now.
Congratulations on your sobriety 🎉 keep going , you got this 🙌
@@caseymp25 Thank you very much!
I keep trying💚
@@susanmoriarty7533 As long as you don't give up. I wish you all the best.
You made it, king. 🫶🏻
The first line hits deep. "I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head"
I've been listening to this song since I was a teenager and it still resonates as I'm almost 30.
Great music never lets those original feelings go away ❤️
well i’m a gen z who plans on carrying this music on..
It hits hard im 45
This hits hard
🥺
If someone notices this, I’m still alive and fighting depression
We're in this together my friend
We have. We're here right next to you. It ain't easy, but damn it, we will kick this shits ass.
You are not alone
❤️
Same
Man, I'm 41, to this day this song makes me cry. Stay strong people. You're loved. ❤
I'm fucked fuck depression 28 and about to lose my mind
Same fella
Same. Mental illness is such a weight to bare, but I'm still here thanks to songs like this
43 and right here with ya.
Me too bro
What kills me is that almost 13 years later this song still pulls on my heart. To all those still struggling the long battle of depression, you're not alone. The fog will lift.
I hope it lifts soon
When😭😭😭💔💔💔
Everyone everyone in this World God knows we all fight hard times and can get tough, but look to Jesus
😕😔😭
@@joshriley1955 It might not lift, but maybe you can learn to live with it. Don't search for eternal happiness but a point where you can say ok, I can live with this.
This is without a doubt one of the most emotionally powerful, raw songs of all time. It captures guilt, addiction, mental health, and love.
My son committed suicide he was only 23!
@@cindyn8994I'm so sorry! Please hang in there! I battle depression and addiction myself and it is hard to stay in front of it!
@@amandamcgraw2586 Hang in there you matter in this world you can help others please help me to help other people so there families don't go through this it's not easy losing my baby!
My momma didn't stay strong tomorrow she's been gone 17 fucking worst years of my life.
@@amandamcgraw2586 I'm trying but it's not easy when you see your kid shoot himself I will always have that image in my head!😭😭😭
If you're reading this and crying as I am, just hold on. Please, just hold on one more day. You are loved. You have so much love and life to give, just give it one more day.
❤
My name is Nat. I'm a 40 year old female who is also a recovering opiate addict. I'm posting here to let anyone who needs to hear this know, there is always hope! I spent all of my 20s and most of my 30s chasing a high. June 10th, 2024 was 6 years and 5 months clean for me! Whatever demons you're battling, please know you're not alone. Each of us has a demon or demons we're fighting every single day. Wherever you are, whoever you are, just know this random woman right here is sending you love, positivity, and hope for better days ahead. My life today is a testament to that!
Hi Nat. Sorry. I was homeless too. In San Diego.
With love .
My husband passed away 3 days ago & this was one of his favorite songs. This will be on repeat for awhile probably.
I love you Mike ❤️
❤❤💔
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Please remember that life is worth living for all of us
I'm so sorry, it's so hard! My husband of 30 years died on November 1st.... I'm not sure how to function without him 💔 take care of yourself the best you can.....🤗
@@georgiaross6741 I'm so sorry. Iwas with my husband for 30 years too. He passed January 2020. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it really doesn't. You do learn to cope though. He was my whole world.
Sorry for your loss, Rest in Peace Mike
Damn seeing all these comments of people being clean just makes me happy for you all! Keep up the good fight no matter how hard it gets! Love to you all!
Miguel Garza ✊🏼 Right On
10 years now
YES! Addiction isn't easy on anyone! So proud of ppl who are staying clean and working on themselves!! Keep up the wonderful and yet hard work of staying sober!!
Sober since 10/27/2017 life is great.. Wish you all the best.
People lie A LOT.
Lost my son to an overdose. The only band we saw together was Blue October. This was our life.
❤
You are being held with so much love and healing.
❤️🙏🌹
I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤
I’m sorry for your loss ❤
At first when i saw the comments, i thought 'wow there's a lot of darkness'. Then i saw it through a wider lens and realized it was all light. I'm so glad we're all still here ❤
-Amen
💙💙💙💙
sending you lots of love and thank you for the comforting comment. I'm glad too ❤
Bro I heard this song when I was young, before I ever had thoughts of pain or anguish or suicide or suffering. Hearing it again at 30 after drug addiction,divorce, and 3 suicide attempts then finally freeing myself from drugs and trying to piece it back together and it being to late to save my relationship with alot of people including my wife. Just has me sitting in my job like tearing up. I'm sober and healthy today but shit what a life we survived huh...
Listen to fear..his acoustic is way better
You are a survivor and a figther and in case you do not hear it as often as you should, I am proud of you
F.E.A.R = Fuck Everything And Run OR Face Everything And Recover. Even on our absolute worst days, it’s a choice. So you choose… I choose life.
Sometimes (usually around 3 in the morning- something about 3 am)I can't decide if what I have left was worth the war I waged to "survive". Most of the time I know that survival is ultimately worth any cost but I just lost so much over the years. No, "lost" isn't the right word; "wasted" is the more honest word choice. By choosing years of intense alcoholism and drug use, I wasted so many chances and opportunities in life. Don't get me wrong, I was somehow more functional than many people are.. I raised both of my kids while working 50+ hour weeks, never losing custody of then to social services. I worked as hard as I played. But I was also moody and irritable, often bad tempered and demanding. I chose to live 1200 miles from any immediate family in order to more easily hide my addictions and habits. The cost? I barely know my family anymore and they hardly know me. I didn't really feel the pain of separation or loneliness until my kids were grown and moved out. And they unfortunately learned their idea of "normal" from me; I rarely ever hear from them though I love them more than life itself and would give anything to be invited into their worlds. They're happy enough to hear from me when I'm able to catch them with a few spare minutes to talk; there was never a falling out or hard feelings between us. They just watched me create and maintain a certain distance from my family for so long that it seems normal to them for us to only see one another a few times a year and to talk on the phone when they "think about it." I'm simply not necessary to their existence or happiness. I'm very proud of them both but would give anything to be actually WANTED or NEEDED- to be an important part of their lives. But I'm eternally grateful that they turned out so well. It had to be God's Hand on them because I certainly didn't make great choices. I'm two years clean now and struggle daily to find a reason to remain so. So far I'm winning but don't know if this soul-deep sadness is sustainable in the long run substance free. For now though I keep trudging through the mire, always hoping to one day wake up and find happiness again. I wish joy, strength, and purposeful living to everyone out there; thank you so much for reading all this... Peace ☮️ and Love 💗 Always!!
Man. I feel this comment bro. I’m 35. I was a freshman in high school I think when this song came out and I could only attribute it to breaking up. I’ve heard this a million times but it was just still playing in the airwaves at the time. Well it’s been like 10 yes since I heard it. And lemme just say everything you said…yep. I felt that like 1000%
*"While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight."* Thank you forever for that. 🖤
Anyone with an emotional regulation disorder knows that line on a painfully personal level.
Those words are so powerful, I relate to them very often, to you , stay strong, and another awesome song ...... I hope your happy ...
Tauney Elysia
The line that makes me break down is, “You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take.”
No matter how many times I listen to this song, I sob. If you’ve ever struggled with an addiction or love an addict, this song hit you right there in the most tender part of your soul.
One of the best lines
if you have emotion issues this song is the right one for you
I'll have 19 years sober this month, and this song still brings a tear to my eye because I remember the damage, the misery, and despair. I'm so grateful to now be free.
my mom lost her battle with mental health July 20th 2023, this song was the first real thing that made me process her passing and gave me my first, real, big cry over it. i had to be strong for my older sisters and for my moms loved ones and so i packed all my feelings away until i made her memorial video to play at her funeral, and this song was one of three i used .... and i broke. i always loved this song growing up, but now ... now i have a whole new love for this song!
You made your mom proud. People can judge all they want, but some of us know the battle with mental health. Keep fighting on, you are loved.
Same reason for my love of the song. Same scenario, different circumstances. Sending you love
Mental torture endure that from a quack and his pack
Organ tom petty what so g
I’m 8 years sober this year. I can’t hear this song without crying. It reminds me of me and my mother when I was using and all the pain I put her through. I never thought I’d be able to get sober at the time, even when I wanted to. I love my mom so much and she’s been so supportive all throughout my recovery.
This song is beautiful and a reminder of where I never want to be again.
So good to hear you've got so much time sober, thats awesome man
You got this! Stay strong.
learning is how we grow. not learning keeps us in our own mind making us a prisoner in our own mind. You broke free. Good job!
Ты хороший человек мой друг
I'm sure she loved you the most upon her exit, if she's no longer around. I put my mother through the same but I'm sure on an elevated measure. She not only forgave me, but nor would she leave this Earth without my voice being the last voice she heard upon leaving. That my friend is what unconditional love is all about. Don't be hard on yourself. Your mother's love is what forever is all about. Sending blessings your way. Stay strong.
I can finally understand why my husband listened to this song the last few months of his life. He didnt suffer from addiction rather a brain tumor. I whole heartedly believe he knew he was going to die soon. And I think in his way of dealing with his own mortality became the realization that I would be left to pick up the pieces for our kids and I and I think he thought if I was mad at him it would make it easier for me to move forward. Its been almost 3 months and it hasn't gotten easier at all. Im drowning. But this song weirdly brings me peace and some understanding of his mindset and clarity on some of our last conversations.
I am a 3x brain cancer patient. I listen to this very often... I’m very sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss.. hope you can get some healing from this song.. thoughts are with you and your family.. stay strong.
@@samied5527 I can relate. I think people who listen to billy eillish probably have a brain tumor. I think that should be a question asked in medical facilities. Do you find yourself listening to billy eilish and even enjoying the music - if yes = possible a brain tumor case. She could go down in history for being the best way to detect a brain tumor.
what a profound observation. thank you for sharing this. sorry for your loss
God bless some how you seem to know... not that that makes it better
Fighting alcoholism and depression. This song fits perfectly.
If you don't drink for a solid year, you can be it over time. Real talk......IF you relapse after the year sober of alcohol, chances are it will make you sick to drink by year 2 you should be "recover ed". Stop drinking for 1 year, try it. Safely though. I don't know your alcohol intake though as of now.
You stop drinking, it does help over come depression, you face life "more clearly". I stopped drinking, you can too.
Keep going man! Depression fucking sucks.
I have a puppy named Serj (like surge) and your name made me smile. Thanks dude and keep your head up you're stronger than any weak thought
Good luck!! Im still trying man
This song has had so many meanings to me throughout the years. It never gets old, and I play it on repeat at times. I was pregnant with my son when I heard it for the first time. It was extremely rough to hear, but the two of us are here today together and thriving.
Depression and addiction not only hurts the sick and suffering. It took me 20 years to realize that
With you! Keep fighting and see the good even when it's hard and it hurts. Do the best that you can. You are here for a reson even if it hasn't shown itself yet.
This make me happy
Dear younger me. We made it. It got better. We did it. We're happy. We're loved
Bless you. I feel this personally
Beautiful
Kill
💜
❤️❤️
My dad loves this song... He just passed away.... Can't hear it without breaking right the fuck down. . Everyone needs a song like this
I'm sorry man I know it's hard lossing a family member you just have to keep going
I'm so sorry for your loss. Even though he's gone, his love for you is still unending.
Sorry for your loss
Im sorry for your loss. Im here the same reason
I am so so sorry for your loss...
I’ve battled anxiety and depression for years. This song always hits home.
Same here man, I lived with depression and anxiety for 9 years.
Just remember
No matter how bad it feels,you're a beautiful person and a blessing to someone
R.I.P
🖤Alicia Jean Dougherty🖤
🥺 I miss your soul every single day
May your light shine through and beyond the darkness 🕯️ Till we meet again ❤️🔥
Fly high🕊️
FLY high Alicia Jean Dougherty, Tell Crystal Rose Orr I miss her. You two take care of each other. I got your dad's back along with a billion other people. Till we meet again
This has to be one of the most underrated unappreciated songs ever written. When there is honesty and emotion there is absolutely electric vibes that make a song an unforgettable hit. This song has so much meaning to me, lost friends of overdose, suicide, depression. It's never easy to explain or express those feelings and or thoughts. Please don't forget how important each of you are, and if you need support please talk to someone. I know first hand that, when my step mom committed suicide she was in so much emotional pain and thought it would leave with her. Believe me, it didn't, it amplified and spread to all 5 of us kids, and several grand children. We miss her deeply. I've never talked about anything this this before online. But today I felt like in October 2021 we could all use love and support. I just want to spread positive thoughts and vibes to everyone in the comments. I have a saying, it's Make your own luck. I believe in that. Have a blessed day 🙏❤️
I wish you peace.
❤️
Sending positive vibes, light and love right back to you❤️
Thank you and you have a great day and know it’s ok
I love this. My quote to guide me through is "Don't ever let your light burn out. There is so much darkness in the world that can blow you away; but the more light that shines, the more good that becomes. Shine bright and be strong. There are others that need that light."
Y'all struggling with your demons, you got this. I believe in you.
HideousAngel
Everyone has something.
We’re all in this together.
Be kind. Stay strong.
Take a deep breath. Take a moment.
Take a nap (who doesn’t love naps)
Tomorrow will look better.
I promise you this.
No end to it so just leave it alone.
And there are so many of those rat faced bastards out there it makes me physically and mentally sick... be strong live as whatever god you keep,and be blessed. Just believe
Drug addicts are not like the rest of us. They're not human. They're humanoid mutants. They infest urban areas and prefer to reside in filthy and decayed or dilapidated conditions. They use public washrooms for consuming drugs instead of shitting or pissing. They should be exterminated and purged from the planet.
@@ethanmaccullouch2776 - not all do those things n remember everyone struggling is someone's mother/father/sister/brother/daughter/son/husband/wife; you HAVE NO IDEA the suffering that drove one over the edge until you've lived it n have NO ROOM TO JUDGE - everyone has a vice, some thrice, the hell of pain n suffering one's subjected to is merely a roll of the dice; WE'RE ALL ONE MISTAKE AWAY FROM A TOTALLY DIFFERENT LIFE❣🙏
I feel like this song is for all of us mothers out there whose babies are struggling with addiction/depression. It's a struggle that can be lost or won at any single second of any single day. 💔
I am one.
Alcohol has been my water for the past 10 years.. daily.
I wake up every morning and work my full 40+ but when I get home, the bottle is there.
What hurts me is, I make an excuse of not visiting my loved ones just to have a brew.
Resolutions are hard. I've failed time and time again. But cut backs are much easier.
I've been sober now for 5 days.
Gunna definitely have a couple this weekend. Then, back to dry. Moderation counts! And I can spend more time with my Mom❤
This song stung me for over a decade too.. They're not around forever.
I was only a toddler when i last saw my biological father. He died of an overdose when i was five. I always hated myself and felt like i wasn't good enough, not even for my own father to stick around. I wished that maybe one day he would sober up and be a part of my life. but then he died of an overdose before we ever got the happily ever after i longed to have. I hated him my whole childhood for leaving and vowed i would never let myself love him. but now im 13 with depression and i understand how bad it hurts, and how he just wanted that moment of bliss he got from the drugs. he desperately needed a way to let himself smile and laugh and an escape from all the pain. Now that I am much older i cant help but love him and forgive him, and i hope he will be waiting for me at the gates of heaven where our happily ever after can really come true
( i was adopted by a guy who completely fell in love with my mother and gave me all the love in the world. he means so so very much to me. he will always be my dad. but everyone tells me i shouldnt want a relationship with my biological father because I have my dad and i understand where they are coming from. but i want both i know that sounds selfish but i love the man who stepped up to be my dad when I needed one most but at the same time I would have also loved to build a relationship with my biological father someday)
This song makes me think of my mother, God bless her, she married a good but broken man, who then gave her 2 good but broken sons who fell into addiction with their dad. Who needed their mom to keep them alive when their dad died too early from those drugs, who helps those 2 good but broken sons with their own kids, so they don't become broken. Mother's cannot be praised enough
I cry more for my mom than myself....we talk about "my time", she said, "Don't talk to me about it Kelly, they'll have to bury me with you...." now as a mother, God my heart just shatters when I think of my mom and my kid 💔
still can't listen to this 10 years later without crying. It's the most soul-touching song i've ever heard and i've yet to find another that hurts me the same way.
I love you, sorry for all the things I didn't do, for you.
This song is so full of feelings, so full of meaning. Even the singer is so touched by it that he hurt his finger playing it during the video making. That was not staged, it actually happened. This song is what I sing silently to many members of my family and acquaintances/partners that I failed to along my life.
Summer Fender Did they include the part where he hurt his finger while recording the video? If yes, would you mind telling me at what time it happens? I watched again but didn't see it. Either way, I agree that you can literally feel the emotions from him coming at you right through the screen. Almost feels like he's staring right at me while singing and that the song was written for me.... It's so weird I know, but I can't think of another song that has had such a crazy affect on me.
+Christina Sanders Check from 3:17 to 3:45. You can see his middle finger all bloody from the cords friction. And we feel the same way about the song, that probably means we have deep, good feelings haha.
Thanks for your reply I will definetly check it out.
I see it now. I don't know how I missed that especially since I've watched this video probably more than a hundred times. Thank you.
RIP for all of those who did not surive the silent battle of depression and hang in there to those who are fighting it currently, words from a fellow warrior: it gets better ❤
Thank you
I sure hope and pray so....
When the weight of yesterday has a grip on you.. Know that your pain and suffering can be a motivator to find the best version of you.. Always know your life matters.. Despite the failure of our past..
💜
So so alone😥 Idk how to keep going when I literally have no one.
My brother just died so I came here. Rip lil brother love you always. Gone but never to be forgotten.
Sorry for your loss I’m here over the loss of my husband. Take care of yourself
I’m sorry for your loss.
If you’re here today … you’re not alone … you got this ! I know some days are hard … I’m praying for you …. I’m cheering for you although may not hear me … Im here 🥰
All these years later, and I still cant listen to this song without getting emotional.
honestly. reminds me of when I overdosed and my mom catching me. this song holds so much to me.
Powerful. Just like life. Wishing you the best mate.
Same.... like ugly cry....
Same
Wow I would have never expected these type of comments on my mom's friends video 😁 it's ok you will get through this
Day 4 clean from heroin. Taking it 1 second at a time. This song is really helping. God plz give me strength.
2 years clean. It's hard but so worth it. Keep it up my friend!!!
@@chucknorris3rdnut thanks that means a LOT. :) I,hope it gets easier
It does, but the thought will never leave. Just please be strong!! That shit kills too many good people and you do not need to be one of them.😊
I'm on day 4 today !
@@TheDoubla44 that's Awesome !!! How are u feeling ? Almost a week!!!
hi everyone. my name’s hailey and im 15, a sophomore in highschool.
my whole life ive struggled with depression, being bullied til the point even my teachers and principal bullied me, hating me for nothing.
i would sometimes come home and get mentally abused by my mom. im convinced my mother hates me. shes 42, we have such a messy and horrible living situation and my mom got pregnant again not even a year ago, giving birth to my baby brother. hes my whole world, probably the only reason im here right now.
im currently homeschooled, best decision of my life but i hate being home with my family. my dad goes to work all the time and has another family but i always see him when he comes home for the week. i love my dad and my dad loves me, even after what hes done to my whole family.
everytime he picks me up we blast metal, or rock. he loved all of that growing up and so did i. but i decided to play this song, hate me by blue October. i didnt even know my dad knew this song, until he stared at me and sung it with me.
what touched me the most what “til’ i saw your blue eyes cry, and i held your face in my hands.” see, i have blue eyes, everytime i cried to my dad about my mom he would always hold me.
thank you, justin, for saving me with this song.
its 2024 now, im still alive and fighting depression. im almost a year clean from sh, still on nic but trying to quit.
just letting anyone know if your going through something, please talk to someone before its too late.
You're 15?
I was the blue eyed one, my son has brown eyes. He dedicated this song to me. Hold on ms Hailey, life is going to throw a lot more stuff your way, just HOLD ON like the REM song (everybody hurts) THAT song is from all od us to each other.
@@hilarycastle4937 this is the FIRST and only comment I have read in an hour on this video, that made me go EH????. And I seriously hope your comment as well as mine will forever from here forward....BE IGNORED
Father God bless all those out there who have loved their precious mother and no longer have them
I am 7 years clean and sober this year. This song got me through so many of my dark days. If you're struggling, I BELIEVE IN YOU. I promise life gets so much better 😭
I'm proud of you
If no one told you today, I am proud of you
Thank you❣
If it got you threw keep playing and fighting love girl
So glad for you. Keep strong
This was my dads favorite song, he struggled my whole life with drugs and depression, I'm 30 now. We lost him 5 years ago. Every time I come back to this song I feel him with me.
I'm sorry for your loss I lost my mom in 2015 to alcohol addiction and my baby sister who was 24 to her sh*t being laced because she wanted to leave the man she was with for her husband and get clean in 2018
Sorry to hear that..sorry for your loss.. I struggled with heroin for years. I did ten dollars worth that ended up being fentanyl and almost died and was revived with narcan. As sick as it sound it saved me and I found God. Drugs are the devil on earth.
Sounds*
Hope you are doing ok
I hope that you know that while your dad, may he rest in paradise, fought his demons, that he loved you more than you’ll ever know.
(God put this on my heart to tell you)
To anyone reading this, no matter your struggles, I'm proud of you. You are loved, and you are worthy of love. You matter.
This is probably the 1357th time I've heard this song, and it's more relevant to me today than it was when I first became obsessed. I so wish I didn't relate so much to Justin's words and voice and inflection, but I do. This song brings me to tears so often.
This song is the reason I’m sober and alive today. Godbbless to this band. Both parents overdosed. I’m all I got and I’m single mom but this song helps me every day.
I'm sorry you had to experience such grief
So sorry for your tragic loss and well done to you.. you must be so strong... I have family but no kids and 3 years clean xx
Bless you for staying sober and alive. You are stronger than you know.
I'm sorry
Not only does God love you but I do
“while I was busy waging wars on myself you were trying to stop the fight”
That lyric is so powerful
Indeed
Yes!
I love this song it's so beautiful I love how Justin expresses himself so dark as he is feeling...reminds me of my life and meds betrayal and pain and then my last true love in a shirt time I loved him so fast and he left my side I don't c anyone now in my path it's like I have scales on my eyes...I love how he walks to the cemetery and has his glasses on and head held high... I love you blue October beautiful song so deep so amazing I relate to each scene and all the pain....beatriz
I need a chance to get my life together and give me a second longer
@@christywillz4347 I've been in that situation and good luck to ya!👍
Damn, that line: "In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night, while i was waging war on myself you were trying to stop the fight." really is powerful. Not only about addicts but from people suffering from anxiety and depression. We wage wars with ourselves and the people outside of us try their best to stop that.
How many times I sat on the floor holding my son as he cried and puked and took another pill and drink HE lost it when he lost his sister. When he got better, I lost it because he dedicated this song to me. I was addicted to RX's ( because they make it all better right? NOT) We are both sober today and have a good relationship. Forever 25, Crystal Rose Orr. My son dedicated this song to me because I was grieving my daughter as I tried to hold him together. Man life is unfair sometimes.
Hes speaking about addiction. And how a mother & son's love can concour this Cold world. Peace on Earth. GOD BLESS
Man the tears that fall when this song plays. I try to hate you dad, but I can't it hurts. I don't know where u are or if ur still alive, but I love you and hope ur sober.
same feelings and situation 😔
hes ok where ever he is just believe
@Leigh Allmon people are not destined to repeat their parents mistakes
If you’re somewhere out there passed out on the floor, Joey I’m not angry anymore - Concrete Blonde
I'm sorry babygirl
If you’re listening to this just know everyone here understands whatever pain you’re going thru
thank you man
Thank you.
Thank you. For 17 years i been fighting depression. Im 21 now. I put the blade down 6 times my whole life after 37 breakups through out my life.
thank you.
>> everyone here understands whatever pain you’re going thru
No, they don't. You had to be there to get the joke.
-Clean & sober twenty years this coming October
Not in recovery myself, but I started dating a girl last July who was in recovery(alcohol). She relapsed in May and did a 30 day rehab. I visited and tried to support her however I could. She got out on Memorial Day. The next day she went on a drinking binge and never came home that night. Her sponsor found her and took her back to rehab. She's doing another 30 day stint and may move back to sober living when she gets out. She told me this past weekend that she still loves me, but she can't be in a relationship right now. It's killing me because all I want to do is be there for her. I have to let her do what she thinks is best for her health. I'm dying inside, tho. Just wanted somebody to hear it. Much love, y'all!❤
I heard you. Sending love and hope your way
I can relate. I kept people at arms length or wanted them to go away just so I knew I wasn’t destroying them or holding them hostage. I wanted everyone to leave me alone while silently pleading for them not to leave me all alone. Addiction is a disease that tries everyday to convince me that I don’t have it. I would contend everyday with feelings of inadequacy and self-fabricated failures based only in my mind. I would be paralyzed by anxiety thinking, what are they thinking of me instead of how do I feel about me. I was my biggest critic and held myself to unreachable standards, of which I would inevitably fall short. I then hated myself for not achieving my completely unattainable goals. It does get easier as long as we seek help. The journey can be tough but is something that we own and no one can take it from us. I’m sober almost three years now and it’s three years I can actually remember and was a part of. It’s not a life beyond my wildest dreams by any means but it’s a life I can be happy with because I built it myself. The strength to live is within each of us and we all deserve happiness. Much love.
addiction cost me 20 years in the pen. a string of robberies..my daughter was an infant when I fell and a young woman upon my release. been 7 years back in her life..27 years clean !
Who are you people wtf
Proud of you!!!!
Keep going you got this
wow im alost 4 ytrs thanx for your story mn
Good. I hope my monster dies soon.
Wherever you are, whoever you are, I believe in You, I believe in You.
Co Dy ...back at ya...
Love, respect n blessings. Thanks! 😭🤗💚✊
Omg! I finally found it. Been way tooooo long I haven’t heard this song. Emotional Powerful. For those who are still fighting and that are still here. I’m proud of y’all. Hang in there. And keep fighting. You are important! Stay strong and keep fighting. Live your life to the fullest.
Lost my mom to addiction almost 2 years ago. This song hits harder now than ever. I am now becoming an addiction counselor in May after receiving my degree. I hope wherever she is she knows I love her and did this for her. ❤
❤
She knows 😇
my condolences to you your mother knows the love you have for her whenever you feel alone talk to her it helps and congrats on the new career we need more like you
♥️🙏🏻
👉🏼👍💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
Laying in bed with my 5yr old going on 4yrs clean off Meth. Crying cause he is the reason I am clean today
Yes I am still. 6yrs and counting
Congrats-it's a tough road
Your luckier than many people, your kid will never know you as an addict
well you shouldn't do them things in the 1st place...........
Good for you that's a real good goal and achievement
👍
Lost my mom today in 2022 at 23. 6 months later I finally got clean like she always wanted. She never gave up, yet I caused her so much pain… I hope somehow she knows how sorry I am.
You keep doing her proud. Reach down and grab a pair, and keep fighting the good fight!
We’re all proud of you just like your mom would be.
For anyone out there still Fighting their demons. You're amazing and beautiful. I love you and hope you know others do as well. You're stronger than your demons can ever be.
Why are we, the good people, inside the house on our social media and comforting people we don't know. I am hella glad you ALL exist because I thought humanity was over. Not one comment divided us because we LOVE and CARE .
@@SndyOr I believe we as a society should have each other's backs. We're all in the earth together so we should be working together to better it for our children's future. Lift each other up instead of putting each other down.
@@wanderingtruthseeker7426 Its just really an ugly place out there. I am glad that we can all still help each other. I wonder how many of you, I worked with or go to church with, or met in a store. We don't always know what people are going through. It just amazes me that their are REALLY so many good hearts . We are all blessed. ♥
2020 and I'm still listening to this badass song that has so much feeling.
Every time I listen to this I'm reminded of the savagery and cruelty of the voices in my head. All the regrets they can play on. It makes me want to fight harder for all those who refused to leave me behind in the darkest days.
2020
@@morganfarr5886 beautifully said.
I feel this
Same ❤😖
“Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you” always feels like a punch to the gut, because it was what I thought for so long.
Can relate. I feel this way a lot. Wish I could just leave this world, I don't want to burden others.
Stay up. Both of ya's
Also can relate. Everyone deserves better than me or what I can offer so I let them know.
True....
My wife messed around on me five times before I finally left her it was hard
2023 pain of heart from any situation is a lingering thing!! This song makes me miss my grandmother so much!! 🙏🏽🕊️ I wish I did more for you granny I love you!!
Idk how to give this song the love it deserves. I lay in bed unable to sleep and the lyrics play over and and over.
It's comfort and hurt.
( gives you a warm hug)
This song hits home so hard. My mom never left me alone in my darkest times of depression, anxiety and panic attacks.
That's what moms do. Good luck and smooth waters for your journey.
👍🏻
👍 i oh my life to my mum your comment hit home
Moms are such wonderful people
Thanks God for the moms that never let up or let us get too far out in the deep end.......most people think that's annoying blows em up always askin how they are or if they need to talk.....cuz i promise ya once that phone never rings anymore cuz that persons fight in life is done you'll miss every min of the lil annoying things they did the most......society molds people into assuming or associating annoying habits with a insecure or needy person when that couldn't be further from the case......people that call or try to see how you are even when we're being difficult human beings that my friends is that true unconditional love that so many people are so busy tryin to find that they dont notice it right in front of their face until its gone
I always loved this song and told my bf that it felt like it was written for me by him. Then he died of an overdose a month ago and this song spontaneously starts while playing another song. If this song didn’t already mean so much to me..,losing him and being without him because of his addiction, you can be absolutely sure how much more it does and how hard it is to listen to now. S+J
I'm so sorry for your loss
My bf died by overdose also. It's been 6 years now. I just wanted to tell you that it does get easier to breathe eventually. I won't lie and say that it happens quickly because it doesn't. And some days will be ok and then some will be the worst. Just give yourself space and understanding especially because not everyone else will. I'm so so sorry you're going through this.
Such raw emotion
Talking about touchy issues being brave saying I’m not ok and that it’s ok not to be ok most can’t even speak about it but he made this beautiful song
My cousin hung himself in June 2013, and this song was one of his favorites.
He used to get me to play it every time we'd go out riding around.
This year makes it ten years since then.
Love ya, Matt.
I’m sorry man. Rest In Peace Matt❤🕊️
So sorry my condolences
My condolences 😢 💔 my son committed suicide in 2016 we had no idea how much he was hurting 😢😢 James, we love you ❤
It doesn't ever get much easier but you can help keep their memory alive by helping others!
May you be free from suffering my friend
I tried killing myself several times and it didn’t work. Crazy
If you don't at least get the urge to cry while listening to this song.. you're too young to know any better.
Or too smart to have royally f'cked up your life to the point you NEED the person you love to hate you...Personally I try not to drink myself into a coma or drug myself to the sky, or abuse the people around me emotionally or violently, or cheat on a date cos after all what's the point of dating if you're going to see other people too, not to mention suicide which is selfish because it only hurts the people you leave behind. xD
Best way not to get addicted to something? *psst* DON'T START IT.
*****
It...Kind of is...I've done it my whole life. XD
***** well said.
***** So you're some fucking high and mighty shining example of a human being?
What does age have to do with it?
I don't have depression, I'm not fighting with anything, I just think this is a good song
I'm leaving this for the people who are, you're not alone, you are loved, you can make it
Rest in Peace to the people who didn't make it ♥
I'm in my 8th month of rehab in Ottawa.. Did heroin for 17 yes and coke for about 20..I feel great now but its still a struggle.. Clean since September 13/2016
Jason DeMille ♡ keep it up!
Jason DeMille grats, I'm on 5 months
Your doing great, its hard as hell. I domt personally think it ever gets easier, but it gets way more rewarding, and seems to me now, after almost 3 years, to be the thing I value and treasure the most and the 1 thing I take the most pride and find to be the most self respective quality I possess. I truly dont know why out of everyone Ive befriended, and shared so many steps with, along so amny different paths, it is me who is still standing. as stromg as I can. maybe its random, maybe theres a reason, EITHER WAY I have decided at least to apprichiate that aspect and to apy respects for those amny many fallen friends and foes, This is the most important thing I can do.
Jason DeMille I wish the best for you it's a horrible disease where people don't know what it's like to deal with in recovery and ect. I lost my cousin last year from that he was only 22 years old. Keep thinking to yourself I got this and prove others wrong.
Well done!
one of the most painful things for me EVER was deleting old voicemail messages from my mother and deleting her phone number from my phone. always hurt when scrolling through and seeing her name... and wanting to call and talk to her one last time. here i am, almost 50 years old... lost her 12 years ago... and eyes watering and pain in my heart every time i listen to this song, watch this video, and read all your comments. one thing i try to explain to younger people... NEVER take for granted the love of your parents. appreciate everything they are and everything they do. enjoy your time with them and try to never have any regrets. it will eat you up inside later on ...when its too late.
Keep pushing through brother
Say your prayers
Eat your vitamins
And kick some ass
Im also in my 50's and so much regret deleting voice messages my mom would leave. especially the last one of her wishing me a happy birthday and telling me about the day i was born. I never thought she would pass away the next day. I miss her so much and her lovely voice. So many times when she was alive i would take the time we had for granted thinking we had many years to come and not doing or spending quality time with my mom. I miss you mom, im sorry.
now my son is doing the same as i did with my mom. I feel that one day he will also feel how im feeling now. im praying that it doesnt but its seems to be heading in that direction.
so sorry for your losses guys 🙏💖
My heart just broke That's why I saved messages My God God bless you I'm thinking of you what a weird time to read this message
Ya my mother died 4 years ago as of February 9th so this song reminds me of me trying to tell her to stop her addiction. Many years later I tried before my parents passed away so they never seen there grandson's 18th birthday all 4 of them ask me daily what happened, I have no choice but to tell the truth. God wish they would've listened. My best friend since college also took his own life last year leaving behind me all his friends and family so this song hits hard.
😔
@@ashleekendle4572it's not easy😢 been a rough road ahead because I tried 😢 they didn't wanna listen to me.
1:57 I was that Mom. My son dedicated this to me because through 15 yrs of addiction I never stopped loving him.
This was me and my mother’s relationship for so many years....nights she stayed by my side praying I wouldn’t stop breathing. I put her through hell and I’m just glad she never gave up on me. A mother’s love for her child is endless.....
I wish I had the words to bring you some more light back in your life.
I feel you. A mothers love. I put my family through hell. My wife stuck by me my son wouldn't talk to me for months. Good women in your life is a god send. Stay strong.
Heather M stay strong a mother’s love is a bond like nothing else! Wishing you the best!!
I can relate with you my friend. Be strong!
Unconditional sweet . A mom will always be there no matter how much pain she carries 💖
My momma played this song constantly while i was growing up...she was so loving and did the best she could for me but she battled with addiction....she was found dead in a creek in mississippi and i find myself taking everything to feel nothing because it hurts so bad...please pray for me and my family.
best of luck I hope things get better it hurt to lose people to drugs and it makes you want to do drugs, I get high a lot but at least I'm not doing pills. Just strive for better and try to get help. My brother was the same we were both based and he found drugs to cope with it after it got really bad for him where he almost died I said fuck it a joined him. I've been sober off morphine and opioids for a year now and pills for 4 months. You can do it you just gotta believe!
@@eijirokirishima1097 dang bro thanks...thats amazing though man im proud of you, keep it up!
Holy fuck bruh, im so sorry for your loss and pain, i cant imagine! Please dont leave this world, it gets better... i promise!
Prayers and love. Please comment on how you are doing. I really do care.
My mother is an addict, and I have a no contact order, I know some day I'm gonna get the call that shes gone. Its hurts. She wasnt always a bad mom, but she just cant get clean and isnt safe around my kids. I hope you find peace, in whatever way you can, and I hope you know that there is NOTHING you could have done. Its ugly, addiction, and it destroys families, but none of it was ever your fault
Cody Seargeant if one day you see this I always loved you and my babies but after I finally had a soul that touched mine so deeply it completely changed my world I finally did it for the first time ever in my 40 years. My 40th birthday meant more than you'll ever know!!! When I lost you my light slowly dimmed into complete darkness again. I hope God finishes me for good I'm a nobody I'm not going to survive this one. I love you
If someone notices this, I'm still alive and loving you. I'm proud of every ounce of effort, for every time you said no when you wanted to say yes. I'm grateful for every moment, every hour that you are still here on this earth. Your existence is a blessing in spite of everything the voices and memories inside your head will tell you. I do not care if your biological family has disowned you, if your significant other will not answer your calls, or if you haven't been present for your child. These things take time, humility, patience, grace, and self-love. Work on that last one because it is the greatest one you will ever know. You have a purpose, a reason for being, and don't ever doubt that. Even if it is just some stranger on the internet, I love you and my life is better for having you in it. Humanity is a family separated by fractions of a percent of DNA. You are all my family. Perfectly imperfect, but striving for better. Keep going. I'm here, cheering you on. Always ❤️
this is one of those songs. that you can actually feel every time you hear it.
Kevin Compton yes!
Dani Moss 💮💘💃
Shane Barrentine 😄
yes it is
Honestly if you can't feel this song. Actually feel it! You are not a human being!
This song hits differently when you finally understand the lyrics
Fr tho
Yes!!
Amen to that
No kidding.
Most definitely
I’m sorry for what I put you through mom 😢. I will never forget the pain I put you through in teenagers years. I’ll never touch a blade again.
I still love this song. And the entire album is great; it’s virtually the only album I’ve ever listened to in which I like every song on there. That’s a rare thing. Darn good band that’s sadly underrated.
This song, wow. My life with my son. He's 37 now and we started on this road 22 YEARS ago. If you please pray for me & especially my son, my only child. Thank you.
This song is based on real life. The answering machine in the beginning and end, are real. The Mother was making sure her son was taking his emotional support Medications. He stopped his meds and killed himself. The messages from his Mother and Girlfriend were left after he was dead. You might find the story if you search it.
Catarina Malashevich God bless you and your son,i hope that it gets better and if you are there already then i hope that you can stay there.
My son passed 2.5 years ago. i'll never get over it. And here i am am listening to this song, it's all still so painful...
So very sorry for your loss ❤
I WILL definitely pray for you. Had two, lost one and then I joined your journey. My only child, on this earth anyway, is my son who is now 34. I had to put MY grief on hold as I watched hit the pitts of hell, Had my daughter survived Surgery, she would have been 36. I hope you are ok as well as your son and I hope you see this.
1,331 days sober and it never feels easier. My daughter is my biggest inspiration to stay clean.
My son is mine....just keep moving forward.
You are so wonderful! keep it up!
Day #1
Good to read that ur sober. Read ur reply that u posted
thc is my inspiration.
This song still makes my heart burn so many years later... it's powerful to everyone that understands the sheer honesty and shame of it ❤
Completely lost it tonight when he sang 'in my sick way i want to thank you for holding my head late at night. While I was busy waging wars on myself you were trying to stop the fight.' Me, my Mom and my bipolar disorder. My journey is a lot less extreme than some, but I wish I hadn't and continue to drag her through so much. But I'm so thankful she's there.
if you have a fighter on your side, hug them tight.
My dad died of an od 24 years ago, I followed in his footsteps years later... I've od, 3 times.. my teenage son found me... the hate that a heroine addict feels towards themselves is crippling... 4 months clean now ... one breath at a time ... congrats to all of you that have found your way to back..
Jen Warner keep going
you got this
Jen Warner suboxon things get better there is no easy path it's hard work but the Suboxone makes it much easier
Hell. Yes you can make it
Thank you all... it really does get easier. NEVER did I think I would hear myself say those words... the depression has subsided a Lot.. not saying I don't still have difficult days... I am 7 days away from my 7 month :-) this song here is part of my music therapy... with every breath, every min, every hour and every day.... those of you fighting this fight, stay strong
1,324 days clean and sober form multi substances. Keep coming back dear brothers and sisters you can do it. Loves and hugs.
it bad now am here alone no one to cry to
@@mitchelllayne2128 you aren't alone. Stay strong
@@mitchelllayne2128 you aren't alone. God loves you and watches over you and if you talk to him he'd listen :)
Good luck Mitchell Layne, not gonna lie, it gets harder before it gets easier, but it takes more guts to get clean than to use
Great job! Keep it going.
I haven’t beat depression because in my case and almost everyone else with depression, it does not disappear but the symptoms are manageable. I have not suicidal thoughts and no longer self harm. I still struggle with anxiety and sometimes sadness but I’m grateful for the good things that I made achieved being here today.
When I first heard this song when it was released, I thought how tragically beautiful it was. Now, as the father of a high-functioning autistic child who has his own demons, the song helps me understand him when he's having a crisis and makes me a better father. And, yes, I still think that the song is one of the most beautiful ones I've ever heard in my 63 years on this planet.
Happy fathers day Mitchell. I hope to have a family of my own one day. This song is a definitely one of the memorable ones.
Believe it or not, today is the first time I heard this song. It was among a platlist I was listning to. I've listen to it 4 times so far and it has really hit me. By the grace of God I have been clean for 33 years and the emotions are still there of the fear and pain I put my mom through. My mom has been gone for 22 years now and I miss her everyday. She not only gave me life but helped save it. Although she died from cancer I can never get the thought out of my head that I might of shaved a few years off her life. I am grateful that she saw me clean, get married and I was able to give her a grandson that she could enjoy for a few years. She is always in my heart and I hope to be with her again when its time. To anyone struggling out there, don't give up and fight everyday. It's a wonderful life!
😢
I’m proud of you and I know your mom is proud of you too man, I don’t know you but I love you and I wish you a long happy life with your wife and kids. You got this!
@@kittykat7654thank you so much! Love you too!
Welcome to the fanbase for the most underrated band in history! Happy to have you!
Keep on fighting everyone I battle silent wars with myself every day I never thought I could be good enough to have somebody now I have a step daughter and looking into her eyes makes my want to keep pushing on everyday. There is light at the end of every dark tunnel sometimes we have to fight hard to see it I feel for everyone who has depression
28 yrs. Clean of crack & cocaine! Never going back...💯
Wish the best, good luck!
Hell yes!!!! Keep fighting. Life is so much better. Former Marine that got pumped full of opiates. 5yrs clean and life is good!!
💜
Congratulations
Tee 1up congratulations
I'm so sorry for what your going through I am the same way I had this depression for the longest time but I pray on myself all the time I have good days and bad days I ask God to remove the way I feel at times our lord is what keeps me together I have so much faith I can't do it without him carry your faith at all times things
Its 2024. I made it thru the biggest trial in my life. I made it thru the biggest hole in my heart and soul. I made it thru the biggest depressive pits of my entire life. But I made it thru and got my daughter back on the other side after almost 7 years of parental alienation. For someone who has mdd, bpd, cptsd, sad, a tbi, anxiety disorders, panic attacks, life is a constant battle. But every new day we've made it thru, and weve survived ❤❤
I have had such a hard time lately physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am so exhausted. It’s 1:30 am and i’m crying to this song after seeking it out for the first time in forever. Over a decade later and it still hits so hard 🖤 for everyone else out there struggling: you are loved, you matter, and you are stronger than you think you are. We will get through this.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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@@stevenwheat3621 it is not silly. Your emotions and feelings are valid
You're goddamned right we will. Stay strong. 🖤
I sure hope you're right about that.
I used to listen to this song all the time with my mom, on the way to school, on the way to the park, Just all the time. In 2015 she died from diabetes and kidney failure when i was 9, and for a while I couldnt bear to hear it. But now I'm 17 and last year I started getting back into it and this song is now the closest I get to feeling like she is back. It hurts sometimes but this song brings back some of the happiness I felt when I was a kid.
Sounds like you are finally processing the loss. I lost my Dad at 18. We didn't have a song, but it took me decades to accept that he was gone. Still makes me sad thinking about it, and it's been 30 years. I believe we'll see our loved ones again. I couldn't go on if I didn't have that belief.
Good job man that’s what you need to do you take music in you turn it around to be good for you it’s terrible when you turn it around the other way and it’s sad when you hear a song you think about somebody the song should celebrate that person and that’s a good song what if you can celebrate somebody’s life with that song you got it brother God bless you and sending you love and light Namaste
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oh my god love, so many here to hug you.
I was 8 when my grandmother died I know how you feel
This song accurately describes my entire childhood. During my parents' divorce, I distanced myself emotionally from my mother because she was tearing the family apart. I was trying to make it easier for her to abandon us in a selfish way. It worked, and I've been unable to learn to love again. If you are divorcing, NEVER force your kids make the decision to forsake one of their families on your behalf. Both of my parents failed my brother and I. We ended up raising ourselves because of neglect, and we're scarred because of it. My father and mother were both narcissists, so I was raised as a burden to the family. My unit stopped me from taking my own life and God intervened for me. But my point is parents shape the foundation of their children's understanding of themselves. Mine forsook me and it lead me down a dark path, don't do the same.
This comment section has me in tears. 😭 I'm so very happy that you're all still here❤
I literally was writing the same comment...feel that 100% too. So many struggles & pain & stories...this world often feels like a merry go round you just want to get off of. But I guess there is honor & heroism in just surviving it.
Thank you.
My best friends brother sent this song to his mom days before he lost his battle to addiction. He expressed how he related to this song because at times he wanted his family to hate him so they wouldn’t worry about him anymore. This song was mentioned at his funeral. Every time I hear this song I see him and his struggle and his family. Please if you’re struggling please don’t give up that fight. Do it for yourself. Do it for the people who will loose their lives mourning your death. You are loved. Life is hard but you just have to keep fighting no matter what. Don’t give up please I’m begging you, it’s not worth it.
** RUSH ** ~ seriously Dude, you’re a fucking hero for raising the boys.
My son's name was cody I woke up and found him dead on my bedroom floor from a heroin overdose mixed with fentanyl home from rehab 34 days just one more time Mom I wish I would've broken his knee to keep him from leaving this will haunt me forever just one more time
Unless you're a terrible person, in which case, we're better off without you.
Oh God I'm trying so fucking hard! If I don't get over my husband's past infidelity from back in April I'll be gone I've had enough with childhood trauma, being the family disappointment, being alone all my life with no one to hear my cries. Forgiveness is one thing but remembering and trying not to compare myself to the other woman is another thing. I fight demons in my head every single day my head is like a prison.
@@samrumbo9321 feel ya. Keep ur head up!
when I was younger I understood the song, but now that I'm older it makes even more sense now... it breaks my heart...
Dakota Warriorcatsluvr can you explain it then? I don't get it
things that aren't important and things you don't fully grasp when you are young , you will realize differently when you are older. you realize everything you took for granted were the things you made important ..and you end up with regrets and realize how differently you should have felt and done thing
Same here
Te recuerda algo Sapacuate n Utherverse slds , excelente grupo
Anyone else listening to this song in 2024?
Me
Right here.
1:51
❤
Playing my guitar to this ❤
This song brings tears to my eyes. I’m seeing what I would’ve given up so many years ago, but here I am, life in a direction I couldn’t see and I’m glad that I can live to tell the tale.
I miss my best friend France. This was one of our songs. France, you will always be a part of me. I’ll always love you.
My husband and I have been in recovery since April 2, 2008. This song helped me through a lot of darkness and guilt, and many of Blue October's other songs helped me in the intervening years. We've seen him in concert with the rest of the band 5 times, and have met Justin several times. We finally got the chance to get VIP tickets to his Open Book Tour, which allowed us a few minutes to speak with him, personally, and tell him how much he'd helped on our own road to recovery. Shaking his hand and thanking him to his face was an amazing experience, and like the truly good person he is, he was gracious and amazingly receptive. He must hear it a dozen times a day, but in that moment, we felt like he heard us and was proud to have played a role in our sobriety. His humility is awesome to witness, and even after all of this time, we remain huge fans, and we're now 14 years sober.
Congrats on both you and your husband's sobriety!
He'll yeah! Way to go! Love to you & your husband. Fight on!
that is really awesome..
Mel, that's amazing! You and your hubby rock and I love this for you both. I know the struggle myself, and it's no joke. The sheer strength it takes to remain sober comes from so deep . Keep fighting and working it. You're in my thoughts.
Noice. I see you. Keep going strong
Never has been drugs for me just depression and suicidal thoughts. Anxiety. I often feel this world isn't for me. I feel I wont be able to be a good father, friend, spouse. Never can turn it off. If anyone is dealing with the same I hope you have more strength than I do.
I often say I wasn't meant for this world ❤️ I understand completely. I deal with so much anxiety and depression. You aren't alone ❤️
You are stronger then you think you are. Don’t know if you’re religious but hope God guides you.
We are in this world
but not of this world
Christ said
Fear not for I have Overcome
the world
So be it
I feel your exact feelings
You have the strength you get up and the power to say to yourself I can do this. The power to believe in yourself. And keep trying your best. Many BLESSINGS to you. @James self
Been struggling with severe depression and addiction for years... This song will always get to me. It makes me think about my mom and all the pain I put her through yet she never gave up on me & still hasn't... 💔😭
You got this.
Your Mom is super proud of you because you're still here, you're still fighting! You'll beat that addiction. I promise. I'm still trying to beat my addiction. God first, head up. We got this! ❤
@@davidrichardson3677 thank you so much 💕💕 I'm rooting for you too 😘
Same here. If it wasn’t for my mom, I probably would have not made it this long. God bless my mom.
@@aarongerisch-ks6hp you got this 🫶🏼💜