Dr K’s BRUTALLY Honest Opinion On Andrew Tate, “TOXIC" Masculinity & Incel Culture...
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- Опубликовано: 6 мар 2024
- Dr Alok Kanojia (HealthyGamerGG) is a psychiatrist. He shares his candid & valuable insights on Andrew Tate, incel culture and the concept of toxic masculinity in today's modern society...
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I had to abandon my friend today because he was going so far down the fatherless behavior path of redpill culture, I never cared about the working out or the defining roles between men and women, its all this "cheating is good and marriage is bad" from someone who comes from a divorced family that I cant stand. Just because your family fell apart doesnt mean you have to cast that evil on those of us whos family is still together and healthy. Its sickening behavior.
They also claim to know about muslim culture even though they are white christians and are trying to tell me all sorts of shit about Israel even though I have literal family living their. I feel like that is evil.
Is their toxic femininity ?????? Filing fake cases , fake allegations . Does a $imp like you see toxic femininity in society ?????
0:29 I want to know exactly where Andrew Tate said "the way to be a man is to have load of money, load of woman, load of cars" How can you lie like that? This is bad influence.
@TheDiaryOfACEOClips This is shameful, Andrew never said anyone to do what he do. All he says (70%)how to be disciplined, Consistent, work hard without motivation, how to not waste time, how to build a strong mindset to face any challengers, how to overcome your fears. And (30%)his opinions about the world.
@@FeelAliveWasTaken these are male feminists bro . Dont listen to these people.
$imps
10 sec in. "I don't talk about people I haven't spoken to." Dr. K is one the best humans we have left. lol
I try my best to not worship or completely justify all of a person's points in any way that makes it seem like they appear perfect. That being said, I tried so hard to disagree with Dr. K on anything I could find, and I can safely say, that 99.999999999999% of his takes sit well with me. Even if I didn't agree at first, by the time I'm done hearing him out on something specific, anything at all, I eventually see how my stance is the same as his, he just had a different route to getting there, all for me to realize we always end up to the same conclusion. I truly love this man. Praying for his good health. 🙏📿
@@asparrow9876 He is at peak levels of understanding. And that's what facilitates a person's growth. Someone who's overly defensive or just judgmental will always be stunted. He has 100% of my respect. And I hope he lives a long time.
He has my highest respect for that
Ooh yes. That statement really stuck out to me too. I can really appreciate that.
I like this!!
“Help me understand why you like this” is a king statement towards success in a relationship.
First step of active listening is to make space for the person and make them feel heard. Amazing advice for everyone.
@@rw5622 100%. I am trying to learn to not rush to solutions and be more willing to hold space by using statements like this.
I'll help you understand. All our lives we've been misled about the female nature, put it on the pedestal, demonizing all things masculine. We were told being a gentleman was the way to go, that this is how to get a woman. And then reality hit us in the face, many were confused why they're not getting the results they wanted. The advent of the social media happened and the hookup culture opened so many men's eyes on how females actually select men. These "influencers" are doing nothing but reaping the benefits of feelings that already existed, and men like Tate are respected because they don't just talk the talk, they walk the walk. They are fighting back against the fe--mi--nist narrative that has favored wmen for far too long at men's expense.
From female point....
The problem with the "masculine coaching" talking about what it means to be man is:
that its being taught
if its taught it looks very unnatural.
Its like not realising who I am what is my nature, so I need a tutorial to understand my biology.
And because it looks unnatural, it may create a "narcissistic mindset"
because boys may learn some untrue information about life.
Or they decide to believe every word someone says on internet, instead of listening their own heart and intuition.
Your own intuition that you were born with, will give you much more information,
than some company that wants to brainwash you and sell you some product or cosmetics or some stuff.
They don´t have your best interests in heart.
Your own self or (your soul) knows much better what you feel, what you need, what your true feelings are.
If you like meditation, nobody should say, its not manly behavior,
if you love flowers and puppies, and glass of wine and bathroom decoration
nobody should tell you it is not masculine enough
if you love nice music or calming music of flute,
nobody should tell you it´s not masculine enough
if you don´t like smoking, nobody should tell you its not masculine enough
Only you and your "higher self" knows what you really love.
if you like walking on the beach, and read poetry or some philosophic thoughts,
nobody has right t tell you its not enough
and that you can not live the life the way you want.
Most women actually like the men who follow their own "higher self" intuition and like calming music
that some tutorial about masculinity
because these women know that you may be both brave and masculine
yet you may be decent, sensitive and love the kind of music that calms your body down, or puts you in state of meditation or in state of creativity, knowledge, science, philosophy
Women know such men are very thoughtful, and can pick a job they love. :))))
because they know how to think, they trained their philosophical thinking muscles as well, not just the hand muscles, but a head and heart muscles. and in every job, emotional intelligence is important, to understand what the employees need and under what circumstances they work better. it´s clear that if people understand each other they work much easier and happier.
and normal woman want a normal guy with heart or emotional intelligence,
If she notices he has no heart, she doesn´t feel safe and that his coworkers don´t feel safe.
Then she becomes disliked by many people who dislike her suband. It´s logical.
Tbh the reason why I like some of the red pill stuff is because it fuels this bitterness I have towards women for rejecting and making me feel lonely and stupid. So if I see these podcasts that try and make women look dumb it makes me feel a little good inside.
I fucking love how this guy is solution oriented and is not drawn in by the drama of problems.
That’s his job
@@doms5755 Ok.
He have the knowledge and tools to antagonize and still he is there to leasing people.
the problem is that men who listen to him - do not learn from him, do nor solve the problem, but opposite - act like drama quueens )))))))))))) whjat is the point
@@user-ou3ln3np1g bruh this is the exact thing that he is talking about how can someone be so blind like he says whenever we demonize someone (given the cirucumstances) we dont work towards a solution but a brick wall. So what you did there just exemplifies the argument he stated by saying that all men are drama queens. Have some empathy.
“You can’t hug yourself; it doesn’t work”. God this made me want to cry.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
True, but you can't just expect people to give you a hug if you don't ask, or if you ask in a way that is off putting.
@@memegazerthis is a good motivator for being a good person.
Actually you can. If both arms go clockwise or counterclockwise. Unless you're overweight. Fat people need more love.
I know your pain
Two years ago I, quite unprofessionally, lost it on the CTO of my company in front of the entire engineering dept. (virtually). He asked to have a meeting after, and I pretty much thought I was toast... His first words were: "What's going on man, you look like you're hurting.."
Now that’s a great leader of people.
Pure decency and leadership. Hope you're doing okay dude.
Greets from fellow Engie - hope you are better now man!
I've followed Dr.K for years. His focus has been on gamers, primarily because of the struggles of the type as they tend to be more socially awkward, introverted, etc..., but the things he says applies to everyone - especially men. Good to see him branching out into the non-gamer sphere because his messages can help lots of people even outside that
his target demographic lies at young people in general who are most vulnerable of getting fucked over by the rampant, ever increasing changes happening to the world
It's just branding. Even if your stuff is completely universal, pretending like what you're doing is niche will always benefit you as it creates an image, and allows followers to actually funnel into view. If you do everything then you just kinda faceless, hard to find compared to someone with a face and does the same thing.
@@Mico-Xiyeas It's also branding that makes sense. He was probably the first psychiatrist streaming on Twitch which already set him apart but branding himself there as "The shrink for middle aged housewives" wouldn't really fit in that sphere. Also having such plenty access to gamers, who tend to be more reclusive and maybe less prone to do therapy, is really a unique selling point and potentially interesting from a professional PoV.
@@LordMegatherium yeah, branding that makes sense is important
iirc he said somewhere he also focuses on men's mental health or something like that...
I work on building sites and one day a guys girlfriend dumped him the same day his dad died.
I have never seen somebody cry so hard before.
A group of women (cleaners on the building site) overheard and started laughing about it which humiliated him and most guys just ignored him.
It took me and one other guy (a joiner if memory serves) to go over and talk to him.
He seemed okay but he took his life 8 weeks later.
We need to look out for each other better guys.
RIP Jonny.
Yet its women who have the audacity to go around saying "toxic masculinity." "Toxic masculinity" never killed a women, yet "toxic feminity" kills men everyday... A person like Andrew Tate would of saved this man. He would have motivated him and given him hope to carry on living, as opposed to laughing at his suffering.
@@moneymanrahim7772 I totally agree mate.
I agree with 95% of what Tate says but he does go too far in my opinion.
My gf of 4 years has just left me a month after landing a job where she's earning £1500 a day...
Whereas if I win millions on the lottery I'd of stayed with her.
I've done absolutely everything for her too, supported her through mental illness and cared for her horses when she was physically and mentally unable.
I literally shovelled shlt for her.
All to be dumped the second she hits big money.
I wish that I never met her.
It just shows you the difference.
Fck that bltch.
@@moneymanrahim7772 You have no idea.
@@moneymanrahim7772Think again about that "toxic masculinity doesn't kill women"...
I'm sorry this happened to your friend..
as a woman, I cannot fathom laughing at someone's misery..I am raised to be benevolent and caregiving to people..
And men need kindness too...
Most of The women who I've seen laughing at men believe that "men shouldnt cry" "men are meant to be the unbreakable money earners" type of bs..
These types of people are traditional which most of the women today don't agree with..
But I'm sorry for what your friend went through..
I've personally advocated for men's health and suicide rate reduction but there needs to be change on the government's level..
My favorite thing about Dr. K is the frivolous use of the Desi hand gestures
Rofl will keep an eye out for them his words are so deep insightful and innovative that I never got a chance to notice it
I can't unseen them now 😂
Definitely grew up in an Indian home. Hand gestures are 100% cultural
Probably the most honest, empathetic and curious explanation I’ve heard in a long time.
Right? The internet is a warzone nowadays, everyone wants to be right
@@simaosimoes Why would you not want to be right? Do you want to be wrong?
@@-SUM1- honestly.. while it may suck to be wrong, at least you learned something in that scenario while nothing really changed if you were right.
@@-SUM1- How can we learn if we're always right?
@@-SUM1- You can't be right with that attitude. If you don't have insight and can't see the entire picture because you are blinded by your all assumptions.
Life's hard. But it'll never change my perspective about the good things in the world. I wish you all resilience, enlightenment, and success.
I love this.
Life is not hard imo. People make it harder on themselves by following wrong people
@@InteractiveIdea I got your point. But how would you say that for people facing war right now? People who've been harassed, etc. When thinking about life, we cannot just think about ourselves.
@MarcosGabrielSantosRocha I have personally experienced sexual, physical, and mental abuse starting around the age of 9 to probably late 20s. And I feel terrible for those who are in the middle of war, especially since I am from old soviet union and someone who has lived in both Ukraine and Russia. Still. Life is not as challenging as people make it out to be, and the reason for that is that people do not think for themselves.
Something bad happened to you? People feel sorry for you and tell you that you are a victim. As long as you consider yourself a victim, you can not move forward and not feel like one.
You get into a bad relationship or get rejected by women too much. What do you do? Start listening to people who tell you that women are evil. You then again feel like a victim. You can't fix things about yourself assuming it's someone's else fault.
You chose not to get proper education and don't make enough money? Whose fault is that? Yours. You are also the one who can change that.
Are you too short? Get funny and/or charismatic. Presidents of Ukraine and Russia are both short men. One was a comedian, and another was cop before becoming presidents.
What else? Your dick too short, learn how to eat pussy. Lol. There is a solution for everything. Just don't be a victim. Don't listen to wrong opinions or blame others for your mistakes.
Well some spiritual people got a "download" or information that
The planet Earth will be split in two worlds, and it should happen this year.
3D world, or so called materialistic world, where people think in materialistic way (matter to matter way)
judging, commenting, reacting, blaming, being obsessed with politics, news, being constantly nervous, anxious...
its "horizontal" thinking, because the energy is exchanged between people.
If you think matter to matter way, the results, come much slower, and harder.
Energy to matter , is better way, because energy changes matter.
The other part of the world will be in 5D, dimesion: (energy to matter way)
5D world is not about arguing, but about manifestation.
Its vertical thinking, because the energy comes mostly from the Universe, the love energy.
As Einstein said or some phy&sicists say Energy can not be created or destroyed. It just is.
You bring your positive energy, playful, smilling, loving energy
and with right group of understanding people the positive energy should come back to you.
Which means people make a decision consciously, to not judge, overanalyze, blame, or be obsessed with some political correctness
or ego thinking, self-limited thinking, fragile thinking, that creates low energy vibrations, in relationships.
But they make a decision to appreciate people with their imperfections, knowing they improve with time....
They decide to show empathy love, understanding instead of judging.
They decide to communicate instead of reacting etc.
So if they see that youa re imperfect yet, but they know you can improve in some ways and give you time to achieve your goals, or improve your habits.
because only Ego is obsessed with perfectionsim. Ego is impatient. Therefore don´t listen the ego thoughts, but listen to your higher self thoughts.
Your true self is about creativity, love and freedom.
When you go to nature for a walk, it energizes you, and it´s about being energized in a way that you don´t feel a need to blame everybody for some nonsense.
But if you notice some toxic person who is solving everything with a drama,
, you should leave the room and say to them, I apologize but this type of energy isn´t for me, it´s distracting, It doesn´t make me feel good.
Our thoughts and emotions create energy.
The right types of friends will not be offended and they will even say compliments to you for your genuine energy and personality.
With this 5D work, you have the right to pick friends or partners who make you feel good.
As a former disconnected man I am now a compassionate hugger. This validates a lot. Thank you.
It’s because of d whole gay thing in d west. Two men being close is automatically suspicious. It keeps them away from each other and lonely. Even conservative cultures around d world allow their men to touch each other for fun and games. Even if they’re gay, it’s fine too. Holding hands or hugging shouldn’t be considered sexual by nature. Everything is so scandalized in d west. Anything is interpreted with double meaning or a hidden message 🤦♀️. So everyone walks on eggshells in case something may “seem” inappropriate. It’s self-censorship of d highest form.
Congrats! I'm happy for you
@@AsAfterlife Ye - like helldivers 2 community - HARDCORE SPACE SHOOTER - 3/4th of players have a hug emote equipped, and use it a lot :)
Hahaha lots of hugs bro
Omg welcome!!
Come on man, this title is ridiculous. He explicitly avoided commenting on Tate and here you are trying to twist his words into click bait.
Agreed
Dr. K is a Gem, always judgement free and empathetic.
Whatever man, it kind of got me to click the video, and it turned into a damn good video, Dr k is pretty sick man, he's got nothing but good messages, so if you gotta use tate to get people here than why not, maybe now, person that never knew Dr k before and clicked on the click bait to see some shit about tate, is now gonna gravitate towards Dr k content, which is a many many many times better role model then tate will ever be...sometimes clickbait isn't all that bad, sometimes it's bullshit though
Agreed, but I’m cool with it - the info shared was solid enough to justify the bait. I wish more click bait was like this.
If you want some source provided, well researched insight into Tate go and check out The Common Sense Skeptic.
It's not a crime to be a man. And there's no toxic masculinity but toxic traits in people that coexist in both genders.
Agreed. Problem is if you take your toxic traits and sell them as the healthy model of masculinity. Or femininity. That exists to but at least directly kills a lot less people.
Ur so right
Bingo, the moment they say "toxic masculinity" they are also part of the problem. By they way, been 3 months in a jail does not make you an expert, just provided you a limited experience (many people does not "open" to anyone that fast). As Long as the experts don't recognize that current situations as the child support model, the fact that any woman can destroy a man's life just saving a lie, etc... nothing will happen. I am not a Tate's super fan, but he is helping men left behind.
it is a shame to see a Doctor say that there is toxic masculinity.
@@warp5p1d3r6 0:36 he claims physical strenght and having fast cars is now toxic masculinity.
These ppl are soy boys.
Dr K dropping truth bombs…. as is his specialty.
Big time truth here. I respect him
Truth bombs like "toxic masculinity"?😂😂😂
@@soacker25 yeah, like yours.
People got SO defensive here, I feel like they got called out lol
@@soacker25yes, it exists just not where the majority say it does. Trust the psychology
I have experienced a great deal of empathy from female therapists who have validated my struggles, despite my status as a well-off white man. Of course they are paid to do so, but they seem genuine and their advice has been helpful. So do my female friends and my sisters.
But my impression is that a lot of these men do not have exposure to women of the same age early in life or don't form female friendships, so they develop this attitude. I know growing up with sisters I was close to had a tremendous impact on my emotional development.
How would you say that you have developed emotionally by growing up with sisters as opposed to people without sisters? Can I also know how old your sisters are compared to you? I’ve got a little sister but I think both having little sisters and big sisters will be very different.
If you want a honest answer your sister (family) or your therapists (paid) is not rly the way to go
@@user-zg2bx4oz2p Then who would you suggest? Andrew Tate? This guy? (Who is also a therapist, as you know. Just because his advice is free doesn't change the fact that he was trained as a therapist - and he is making money off of this channel, so his advice is indirectly not free.)
Believe me, my sisters have been brutally honest with me and told me stuff I didn't want to hear. And those damn female therapists have provided me with insight into the female mind when I was very confused about certain things. It was worth the money.
@@aciidbraiin8079 I have two younger sisters. One year and four and a half years younger.
A critical issue is that I am _close_ to my sisters. I was when I was growing up, and I am today. I was raised to see women as equals. My father doesn't exhibit the objectification of women, even casually, that typifies so many Boomer men.
The big, big contribution is very simple. It allows you to see women as _people,_ with their own problems, insecurities, failings etc. They're just people, not a separate species. This dynamic, that seems to characterize women for incels, is not there. It made forming female friendships easy when I was older - just treat women like people.
And then there's the other stuff, like seeing the toxic sh*t women have to deal with all the time. Or having to worry about their physical safety in ways that we just don't consider. My sister had a guy follow her home one night in college. She got to her house, and her male rugby-player roommate and three of his friends chased the guy for two blocks :D
Then there's just being used to feminine 'plumbing' and not getting freaked out by the fact that yes, women produce blood and you see that stuff in the garbage all the time and then the dog gets into it etc., which apparently a lot of men are weird about.
Now keep in mind I was raised in a close, loving family environment, which a lot of people are not, and that is key to this whole dynamic, as it is to a whole bunch of stuff regarding developing into a functioning, moral human in general.
@@squamish4244 Bro you are literally just calling men ignorant and implying they objectify women. That's not the issue here. Women would rather view every man as an imminent threat and then say they'll only accept the top 1% of men as a "partner". I don't think you've done much talking to women who don't already know you and are comfortable with you lately.
When it comes to loneliness crisis, not having friends, relationship, being isolated, touch starved, etc: so basically healthy human relationships and interaction, this is a global issue for the whole world, where local communities basically disappeared, and people struggle maintaining a social network (families, friends) that gives them emotional safety.
THANK YOU so much of this is rooted in a lack of emotional intimacy or connection with people in their community. these men see 0 alternative and their only out is toxic leadership or horrible addictions that lead to spiraling. If we want people to stop listening to these influencers they need an alternative
@@bensheard3969 A lot of them have poor social skills as well, either because they haven't learned them at home or because they are f.e. neurodivergent. But instead of improving themselfs ( this is different for neurodivergency ) they externalize and blame everyone else. Which makes others back away from them. They need therapy tbh.
@@danika9411 I'm not denying some of these people have toxic qualities but I'm sorry id much rather listen to them than the mainstream "blue pill" personalities that profit off of men suffering and offer 0 actionable advice to how to improve your situation. If your going to say "traditional masculinity" is toxic and find any excuse to put a man down because of an identity not an actual criticism that does NOTHING but make me and many others lean into these people more. There is no good community or advice for a modern independent minded man that is perfect so your just telling me to move to the chopping block like cattle.
And hustle culture. You need time to build and maintain friendships. If you're working multiple jobs and / or have 60-70 h workweeks when are you supposed to meet friends etc.
I really wonder how much your point about local communities being basically non-existent now affects things. After you finish school, unless you're really outgoing and sociable and are able to make friends easily at work or the gym or wherever you're going regularly, in my experience it can be difficult to develop meaningful relationships because we really don't get the chance to sit down with people and get to know them just for the sake of it. I think a lot of people's problems would be solved if they had a supportive community around them, but instead of living in them and depending upon them like we used to (and are still wired to), we are isolated in single family households that we have to drive to and from to get anywhere. The majority of people we see every day are encased in metal vehicles, completely unreachable to us.
People rarely want to look at the psychology behind things. That is one of the biggest problems in our world.
Because of fear, both of being seen as empathizing with monsters/degenerates and of a false equivalence that wanting to understand the root of poor behavior is the same as excusing it. Or as Dr K put it that people have already made a conclusion in their mind about why certain people are how they are through judgement.
Nobody got time for nuances
@@N3bulAura yep and thats the pit fall of a society dominated by social media. People got neither time nor the attention span for anything productive. they have been conditioned to consume content, looking from 1 instant gratification to the next. Why bother trying to think deeply / research / reflect about each topic, when its easier, faster and more satisfying to just look for people who agrees with your base assumption, that means you are the "smart one" that already knows all the correct answer.
I suspect there are a lot of people who are just incapable of understanding even only slightly complex things. It hurts their brain to try and go beyond basic concepts of logic and understanding.
Trying to think literally annoys them.
I think in large part, people THINK they care about the psychology behind things, but they rely on more generalized models that focus on the group rather than the individual. It may be they think sociology and social psychology are the same thing when talking about social dynamics, but because only one of those is really talked about (sociology), they never consider the psychology aspect because they think they’re already received it, if that makes sense
“Don’t try to stop it, first try to understand it.” Very profound way to put it by Dr. K. Reminds me of when Michael Moore asked Marilyn Manson what he would say to the Colombine Shooters. Marilyn said, “I wouldn’t have said a word, I would have listened to them.”
Not really the best person to take advice from
@@21stcenturyrambo16 unlike you I don’t let the flaws of the human contaminate the message. A good message is a good message.
@@21stcenturyrambo16 argue against his point.
@scottverge938 nah I don't debate bad people
@@scottverge938 thank you
they're not "embracing" these men, they're taking advantage of'm
"People who are raised with love and compassion and have connections don't go down this road." Dr. Kanojia is one of the most intelligent people I've found on youtube.
What we are missing here is the alternative approach. Where are the channels promoting a healthy expression of masculinity? You are both great examples. What young boys and young men need is positive role models to look up to
Dry Creek Wrangler School is fairly good (I do not agree with him on the religion part, but he seems like a good guy). James Smith is also fairly ok.
There is a lot of them. But manipulators against the mens movement will say 'that sounds like something andrew tate says so you must be an incel mysogynist'. Andrew grace comes to mind.
@yolojabroneo one of the biggest problems men face is the type of deeply entrenched victim complex. You might not realize it but your comment is a perfect example. Instead of simply answering “Andrew Grace” or the others out there, you had to frame your comment entirely around your perceived victimhood from the anti-“mens movement” manipulators. The fact you needed to bring up your perceived victimization in a comment that didn’t require it is a massive problem.
I’m a white man and business owner and it’s sad to see how many young men who I employee share that victimhood you expressed. One of my main roles besides the obvious advice about working hard on the job is to help counsel these young men in positive masculine ways. Do you know what I never do? Tell them they are victims of sjws, feminists, etc.. It’s such a deeply self destructive way to view the world and I would really encourage you to reflect on and hopefully get out of that mindset. It will set you free.
And just to be clear; nothing I’m saying has anything to do with the truth of examples where men get the short end of the stick. That absolutely does happen. What I’m talking about is how you choose think about your agency. This sort of victimhood is an especially big problem in the black community where their belief in being oppressed has the psychological effect of making them less self empowered. Victimhood is a toxic prison of your own mind and only serves as a mechanism to blame others for failures. It makes weakness flourish.
There's plenty, but it really depends on what you mean by masculinity. I like Jax Blades fitness channel myself. Or the Bioneer
1. Dr K is literally one of those channels
2. Dr K literally said JUST looking outside of yourself to find solution egm observing role models isn't the solution. Empahisis on just.
3. And there is plently on channels already but there are reason them existing havent changed much.
4. Stop redirecting the responibility. As dr k said. Its time for all of US to do. Its time YOU do something time for ME to do something,not the channel.
When we ignore people's pain, that's when things go bad. Yes. I enjoyed listening to this video and the messages shared - thank you for creating this discussion piece and sharing it here. Have a wonderful week everyone, and keep well 🙂
the week has already ended 🙄
Thank you. Your presence here means a lot.
It’s not going to stop. Society has a visceral response to men showcasing emotional pain because we fear for the collapse of society without them holding it up.
probably a bot, ai pretty good these days@@kc270352
Nobody cares... So... I will just take over the world instead ^^
I am currently searching for support with a son who is being negatively influenced by Andrew Tate and similar influencers. This was really helpful. Thank you.
based son
PLEASE STOP trying to make your son a TRANS HOMOSEXUAL . Andrew is the way and the truth and the light. No one gets to MASCULINE GREATNESS except through him. 🏳⚧🏳🌈
And in the start of the video, Dr. K literally said that people like you are the problem, ”I need some magical being to help me because my son found a parental figure with stronger influence than me” rather than understanding why he is so influenced. I would talk about it in an open way, not getting mad. And this whole message is assuming you aren’t blowing it way out of proportion, which is usually the case, please expand on the ”bad influence” part.
"Taken together, the research suggests that the ideal man (for a date or romantic partner) is one who is assertive, confident, easygoing, and sensitive, without being aggressive, demanding, dominant, quiet, shy, or submissive. In other words, a prestigious man, not a dominant man. In fact, it appears that the prestigious man who is high in both assertiveness and kindness is considered the most attractive to women for both short-term affairs and long-term relationships."
in other words, a well rounded person.
Yeah, you need to be dominant to not be submissive, there’s no middle ground. And women prefer that in a man, it certainly wasn’t the quality of the writing that made 50 Shades of Grey the number 1 selling romance novel of all time
do you have any scientific evidence to support these claims?@@spelcheak
@@spelcheak I think you've not really read that properly. Being assertive is good, being a prick is not. A lot of people don't understand that it's possible to be confident and assertive without being aggressive, insulting and bullying. It's not like it's just an axis of submissive-dominant with no other dimensions of character.
shocker, being a well rounded person makes you likeable lmao
Absolutely! A lot of men are starving for any shred of validation or support, and when influencers like Andrew Tate are the only ones giving it, these men rally around them.
We need to provide a better alternative for men than either becoming a doormat or "red pilled."
This is why I say us men need to start reaching out to each other. So many men isolated from each for no reason at all. We need to set up a brotherhood or a fraternity. Not paying for classes set up by one guy who’s only uniting in a cult like fashion.
A better alternative? LMAO. Go on, tell us what it is. Someone to lie to us and tell us it's all about personality?
@@joschmo4497 Dr. K is one example.
@@divagaciones1628 11 min interview where he brings up the fact wmen want to marry up and these men are ghosts to wmen, and his solution is hugging men?
Yes, that's genius. Let's not fix the blatant favoritism of wmen and the fact they compete for resources with men but still expect providers.
You're a genius man. Just hug people, that'll fix everything. That'll fix hypergamy and hookup culture.
@@ilikepancakes2368you are out of touch the red pill are already doing that, and also other Men who don't even know about it, when they gather UP and Begin to support each other, modern society Goes out of the way to call them deplorables. What is REALLY toxic is that insane woke culture that causes brain rot in averages joes minds
I arrived in a country where a lot of people are going to the bar, especially 30-40-50 years old men. I'm 24, 6 years i'm in this country. And i start to go to the bar when i had something to wait and slowly became a bit intimist with the barman who noticed my need to talk sometimes. It's cool, because it's my little peace spot, i enter, he know how to make my coffee, we burn a cig together while talking, and it's making my day better. Now i trully understand than, a lot of mens are probably struggling and theses bartenders are sometimes the only "cool" contact a men can have throughout the day
Some of the going out with my friends, smoking and drinking, have become sometimes, similar to like an AA meeting but with the good stuff, listening to struggles. Analysing and talking about society, sharing some hardship is good and at the end of the day, while clinking the glass.
I LOVE.... ABSOLUTELY LOVE how the psychologist is a confluence of cultures! Growing up in Singapore, we do that well! His accent is kind of American, but his hand motions... are COMPLETELY INDIAN!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. How amazing.
It was Russell Peters who some years back said... "The whole world is mixing!!!!" He was right!
As someone's whose parents grew up in India, I've adopted some of these hand motions too!
*does happy dance*
His accent is very neutral American.
He does has an Indian accent though....not very strong obviously
to be honest, there ain't really an "Indian" accent.
I like that he can acknowledge the problems that many men face without making it a competition or denying the issues that women face. These days everything turns into s stupid competition of who has it worst. That helps nobody.
The thing is these so called influencers are feeding off of people's insecurities and the only way they learn is when damage is done.
I don't think the influencer should be using full responsibility. The parents, teachers, our neighbors should also share the blame since we drive them to these influencers.
@@Dave_of_Mordor couldn't have said it better myself.
You’re doing the exact same, he explained. “Judging these influencers”
The problem is many of these influences are giving out good advice but also give out bad or toxic advice. You pretty much just have to take the good nuggets and leave the bad
@@brianmeen2158 Yup; but that can be incredibly difficult to decipher when you have boys as young as 12 watching this content. Going through so much uncertainty and insecurity makes it easy to follow every word these influencers are saying. I really fear for them.
Dr K thinks about these issues in a very productive way.
He is also one of the more educated people in this space who also has first hand experience in helping people deal with these issues.
Im so confused why this is the only Community that still remain non-autism/sigma comment
I went straight down in every andrew tate community doesnt even relate on academic research
Just a loser babling
Thank you and your team for taking part in this societal conversation. I've been following following these subjects very closely. I've personally met many of these difficulties you bring out and for that I support your work wholeheartedly.
I'm pretty amazed how I stumbled upon this video, today.
I was actually viewing Dr. K's livestream from yesterday, and he mentioned this channel.
I've been working on a personal knowledgebase of things I hear about, lately, so I wrote down this channel's name in there and thought "I'll just look them up, later," as I do.
But today someone sent me a Tate Clip, literally saying "I completely agree with this" and I looked up "Dr. K Andrew Tate" for some advice on how to address the discussion...
And here I am! Looking at a video from that channel that I wrote down to look up, yesterday.
Didn't think I'd find your work that fast!
The problem isn't the message, it's why those influencers use it. They don't care about any loser living a crappy life, they care about the money and support those losers give them. People like Andrew Tate are basically cult leaders, kind of modern versions of Jim Jones.
and hamza
The message is the problem for the critics. Anyone attacking them for taking money is just a hypocrite. Dr K is taking money yet he is a good guy. Even Biden takes a cut, quote "for the big guy". Btw this mentality of "uh earning money is bad" is part of the mainstream bundle of beliefs that are being rejected by the red pill and other intellectual movements.
No, andrew tate is an actual individuum that has a own opinion.
@@soacker25 So was Charles Manson.
The problem is calling the systematically oppressed “losers” for being systematically oppressed.
Where the attention goes is where the energy flows.
I like that he doesn’t condone the toxic masuclity but wants to understand it so he can help others get past it.
Simply hearing this be acknowledged makes me feel like not giving up. It's been so hard for so many years.
true but this is the minority, most people still do bot care about us.
how's mr. doing?
I have struggled for 5 years with different struggles back-to-back, I've been able to not give up due to having friends and family that care about me
For your own sake, do not bottle everything up on the inside
Hold on brothers, life will be good, and it many ways it already is. Life cares about us even if women won't.
You can take care of yourself, you aren't children.
We’re so focused on who has more or less that it’s becoming their only attribute. Group thinking can be dangerous if you don’t also think for yourself
Bingo, this gentleman hit the nail on the head
Check him out, he's a Harvard certified psychiatrist. Channel name: Dr K
As a woman and someone with many female friends and relatives. I dont really know any of them that care about how much the man earns. We care that the man is nice, caring, and see us as equals. Someone who loves us for us and not just for our looks.
Sadly good men have had bad women and good women have had bad men.
Men have ruined my whole life and now I choose to be single. Sad because I know there are good men out there but sadly the bad men pretend to be good and suck you in before abusing you. I cant take tha risk again.
sorry you dealt with that, I dont blameyou for taking the route of being single
the men that you ruined your life were out of your league and the problem was that you pick guys that you find attractive and those guys are sought after by virtually every woman so he doesn't have to prove anything or treat you nice for you to stick around.
Since this is a small percentage of men (though you may not believe this bc most men are invisible to you) this really creates an imbalance because most of the guys you ignore are simply not physically attractive for you and most women hence the loneliness they face.
There are good men out there (80%) but you don't choose them based on looks and you come here preach that its because you have bad experiences with men but what you mean is the the top good looking tall ones.
Eehhh think you responded to the wrong comment. Because you dont know me at all and the way you are talking, its sounds like you are talking to someone you know?
Because everything you said is not me. I am actually attracted to geek types. I'm not attracted to the typical hot guy that visits the gym daily and stares at themselves in the mirror all day. Outwardly they look attractive but inwardly they aren't. I tend to go for the guys that like films, games, anime. Have a kind heart and compassionate to others. Sadly the guys I fall for although not as attractive outwardly, i find their kind nature and common interests attract me. Sadly narcissistic men know how to appear good and mirror you.
My friends and counsellor told me that I attract these type of men because they go for my looks and say everything I wanna hear. They even pretend to care about animals etc because that's one of the things that mean alot to me and even say they want to go veggie. Because they love them so much. This makes me more sucked in because it shows they are compassion. It's hard to tell who is real and who isnt. Also I was told that because I'm a people pleasure and have a very soft nature they are attracted to that too as I'm easy to control.
So dont go saying I only go for attractive guys cause it ain't true. For me its kindness, and a good sense of humour. Some common interests. Think reason I'm attracted to geek types is because although I dont look it, I am a geek type and relate better. I like quirkiness.
Please dont go judging all women the same.
Otherwise I could say the same about men. I get so many men after me for my looks. Not for who I am. It's hard to find a decent guy that likes me for me and not a pretty thing to carry around and f**k.
I class myself as an incel now because I'm staying single and not having s3x.
Men are too difficult to read and too scary when they think your theirs and controlling traits come out. Plus they get paranoid you cheat. I've had so many hot guys after me whilst single and not one I slept with. I'm not like that and have more self respect. If by some miracle I find a decent guy who is genuine and I do trust, which i doubt i could again. Then I would have s3x again. But I'm not being used as a s3x toy. Theres more to women than just our bodies.
@@MiguelLHCAre you saying it's a bad thing to pick an attractive partner? Would you really say the same to a man, to not pick an attractive woman as a partner? Would you blame him if said woman turned out to be abusive?
@@Hello-hello-hello456 That guy made a common argument: that women ought to give the 80% of men a chance, that are not part of the most attractive and successfull few. And he is not wrong. Only these 80% do get a chance: with women who are not part of the most attractive themselves. 😅 Which seems not to be enough to these men. 😉 Statistically, online dating scewed expectations of who is interested in us (taken from a sociological study): very attractive men give everyone some attention (just to sleep with them) and women translate this as "I have a realistic chance with the most attractive men!". Which is incorrect. They never had a realistic chance, only a chance of being used for a bit of attention. This happens so often it now has a statistically relevant effect in real life. 😅 And women thus expect these men to be interested in them in real life too. Which they aren't. And the 80% of normal guys have really dissapointing experiences online.
The common counter-argument is: online dating is not effective for you, so go and be a kind, fun, exciting person elsewhere. Unfortunately, the frustration from that online process turns a lot of people into bitter assholes who try to belittle others online. Hence his really aggressive and insulting comment. 😅
I will be forever grateful to Dr. K and continue his legacy in making the world a better place as much as my own strength allows me to.
As a mom to two boys and two girls, can we START by rephrasing the term and admitting that extreme forms of femininity can be unhelpful?
I’m sick of “toxic” if it’s going to be used for one gender.
We either admit and start talking about the negative aspects of BOTH genders and what healthy expression in BOTH LOOKS LIKE, or we use a different term.
For example:
Healthy vs unhealthy gender expression.
Love this. Your boys are living through an interesting time, but I have a feeling they'll be alright with you as a mother!
Toxic femininity = feminism.
Thank you. Your boys will grow up to be great men.
Right, toxic is toxic, there is no masculine and feminine. You say toxic femininity people start laughing, you say toxic masculinity people link basically any typical male behaviour
Totally agree with you
This was actually good, and adds some angles that I previously had not seen on the topic. Insightful
A whole generation of men have been neglected, yet we act surprised why they act the way they do
I turn 30 this month and my ultimate issue in my adult life has been literally just trying to find another male friend. I find it infinitely easier to get dates than I do genuine male companionship.
My current girlfriend was my best friend for several years before we started dating. She was literally the only person I could get to hang out with me outside of work, despite my best efforts.
I've met so many guys who I've made laugh, supported, shared interests with, and even attained their phone numbers, but whenever it came to them actually coming out to meet me they'd always find some convenient excuse not to despite planning several weeks in advance, never having a negative experience with me and us knowing each other for several years.
I'm at the point where I'm genuinely considering learning hypnosis just to get a bro.
That sounds very lonely and I am sorry that's been your experience.
@@SalayaSkystone thank you for your compassion
your framing of all that sounds very gay. maybe you are just gay.
@@johnwayne4911 I feel it’s entirely normal to desire a friendship with someone belonging to your own gender, actually.
It’s unfortunate you feel otherwise.
@@joeking6972 yea but the fact you are framing it as though anyone owes you anything because 'ur funny' sounds gay as shit. who the fuck says "i attained another man's phone number"
I am a man and I will hug people when I want to as long as it’s appropriate and not out of context, but I definitely hug people when I can. What leads to that ability is when you can remove your own fears and actually make an effort to be social even if it’s not in your comfort zone. The biggest problem we have is men not being comfortable with being uncomfortable. We must create positive habits and do things repeatedly. Whatever we have done this past week is more likely what we are going to do in the next two. It’s like not wanting to go to the gym but then realizing how beneficial it was after a week of going
The problem is that a lot of men find themselves in situations where there is not an appropriate context to hug anyone for years of our lifes. The reason for this is partly because of myths like patriarchy that Dr. K is erroneously spreading.
Nobody cares about your hugs. Men want viable paths to get a family and normal life.
@@treeforged9097Maybe get a massage once in a while (not necessarily with a happy ending) to get non sexual touch. It might not be ideal, but you're waiting for years for that ideal.
@@treeforged9097 I've never understood how they would attribute things like not showing emotions to the patriarchy when it's women creating those situations. I have never in my life heard a guy said he broke down crying in front of his close male friends and had them leave him because of it but the amount of men I personally know who have been abandoned by their wife/gf after crying or breaking down in front of her is more than I can even recall. You see this mentioned over and over and over again online, men refuse to open up because of the impact on the relationships with women NOT OTHER MEN.
It's very clearly driven by instinct and to ascribe it to patriarchy is mental laziness and intentional ignorance even on Dr.Ks part.
HUGS ARE A NET POSITIVE!
OMG, it's been so eye opening!!!! Thank you both!
So many people get into destructive cycles because their loved ones fail to ask "what is your life like? what is drawing you to this?"
Excellent decomposition by Dr K!
This is the best articulation of the matter I have seen!
Damn Dr k really laid it down in a great way, love it
We always say "Talk things out" - last year I discovered how much more powerful a hug can be. If the person wants to get comfort. "I'd like to hug you, is that okay?" And just do it. No talking, just a simple gesture.
Just being masculine and caring about mens rights isnt toxic
Women: Ugh these impossible beauty standards!
Men: Ugh these impossible resource standards!
The problem is that women set the beauty standards and the resource standards. The beauty standards for men is basically, do you have breasts? If you do then your beautiful to me. if men were in control of beauty standards there would be no cosmetic surgery or high heals and make up. The problem is the high standards that women set for everyone including themselves and the fact that we are not allowed to talk about that reality.
The difference is, men are based. It's impossible that everyone is a high earner, it just becomes a new average. Meanwhile most men rate most women to be physically attractive. Women's physical standards are more unrealistic than men's. Most men are happy with the average woman, the average woman is not happy with the average man.
@@joschmo4497 Correct, I see men overrating 5/10 beckies all the time, as a woman just being nice and not obese will get you attraction from loads of men, but said woman believes she deserves better than the men attracted to her, but Chadlite/Chad won't always commit to her, so when they get pump and dumped, they become insufferable since 90% of men are invisible to them and the 10% left won't commit to them (therefore they are bad people) so it's a self fulfilling prophecy where those standards ruin things for both genders. In reality, women feel pressure to be gigastacies because their goal is chad, but they simultaneously think it's unfair that they have to give exceptional attributes to get him even though she is literally expecting chad for being chad lol.
@@joschmo4497 There's a study saying that men were consistent with what they found physically attractive in women, while women disagreed much more. Wouldn't this (women showing more "flexibility" in what they consider attractive) prove that beauty standards for men are looser, while men's expectations were more specific, e.i. harder to obtain?
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19469598/
@@joschmo4497 This is so facts. The standards women have for men are FAR higher than vice versa. Its just that women have long and complex beauty processes and men do not... But at the same time some of these women should feel blessed they can boost their looks artificially while men cant wear makeup, cant change their height, their dick size, their baldness or their beard hair. (At least not without surgery)
This guy is just insanely good. I am watching him for a while. I showed him to my hubby and his gamer friends, who are now watching him too. Cuz I feel like he can help them in many ways in which I kinda suck. Cuz I know I am one of the progressives who make those mistakes and cannot talk to guys for shit. Hopefully I will learn with them.
I really don’t fully understand loneliness…make friends with yourself and you’ll always have someone.
Exactly! My family is all deceased and my friends moved out of state. I've been alone for 15 years and I'm never sad or lonely.
Wonderful Doctor! I used to work in a helpline and one caller upset everyone else ... I was the only person to express sorrow for him that he needed to say the worst things he could think of and upset everyone else. He could not handle that ... I was immune to being upset because I wanted to understand him.
"don't try to stop it, understand it first" bars
Very well said! People in toxic environment don't need to be shamed and ostracized, they need mental health counseling. Therapy isn't something to be ashamed of, and I wish everybody could be helped by it the way it helped me
"they need mental health counseling"- by who? Most therapists are shit. Most therapy does not work. I am a fan of self work to be honest. Therapy in the West can be a really difficult thing. The therapists themselves come with a lot of biases and a lot of people who went into therapy did so because they themselves are messed up in the head to begin with.
@@Alnivol666 some people have bad experiences with their therapists, yes. I only hope everyone can get helped the way I was. How did self help work for you, if you don't mind me asking?
@@Alnivol666 i agree with nofun, some have bad experiences, but I completely disagree that "most therapists are shit". Way too much generalization when you are most certainly basing it off an anecdote or someone else's.
@@qwery486 I am basing it on the fact that it is not evident to me that people who go to therapy actually do get better. In some ways I am not even faulting the therapists for most of it. There is a large number of people who use therapists to validate their own worldviews and be told that they are not at fault for where they are. I believe that the main issue facing the Western world today has much more to do with an obvious lack of taking responsibility for one's actions. And therapists also play a part in this game since there are ideas that are popular that blame a lot of the actions people take as adults on stuff that happened in their childhood as if somehow this explanation would magically absolve said adults of taking responsibility. YOu did this bad shit...it is because your parents did this to you when you were 5. So now you know why and you are somewhat not really responsible. How could you have done otherwise?
We are not really engaging in deep philosophical discussions to be honest. Just playing the blame game at a more advanced level.
@@Alnivol666 I think you may have a fundamental misunderstanding of what therapy is supposed to do. Dr. K hit the nail on the head in this video. Introspection is key. Factors like childhood conditions have immense impact on how a person grows up to be, and it's important to acknowledge that, but in no world does it end there. The conclusion is not "hey we found who to blame!". The conclusion is teaching tools for proper introspection and ideally making peace with oneself and not giving in to extremes like redpill/black pill nonsense.
Great, great, great video, great conversation. This brand of righteous indignation is helpful.
This was such an excellent interview, thank you so much.
He has definitely touched on a very specific dimension of the attraction of people such as Andrew Tate.
But another dimension is also the picture/idea that these people project of "power and influence", of having "life sorted out" -- when in truth they are some of the most lost, with deeeeep issues that they try to hide (especially from themselves) with the picture they project, the money, the women, the cars - etc - which easily deceives gullible young man that have no idea what a true role model is.
So, it is not only kids/young men feeling like they are understood -- it also plays on their desire of "women, money, fame, power" that is the image they project.
And this is how Donald Trump got his rise in popularity: by actually acknowledging that people's lives were hard. He's a lying grifter, but he knows how to figure out what people want to hear.
this spoke to me we need to do this with everyone and practice our empathy
“No one wants to take responsibility for physical connection with men.”
That is exactly why ai sex bots are going to be such a game changer in the future.
coincidentally, i was happiest as a child when it was someone's (my parents) responsibility to take care of me. Now i am a grown man and it is no one's responsibility to care for me. I can't and don't expect anyone to hug me and i don't ever get hugs. life has only gotten worse for me
If it's of any solace, I would totally hug you if possible, it sounds like you need one
We men need to get better at reaching out to each other, both when it comes to checking in on the people that matter to us, and also when it comes to reaching out for a hand when we struggle
Bottling things up inside is not a good strategy, the pressure will only build and build and build until it explodes
Now you're responsible for yourself, something that is scary or freeing depending on your condition and point of view.
It has its ups and downs, but as long as we keep being true to ourselves, we'll be fine.
Always be the first to give. Forget about pride and those little things, just be the first always, reach out for that hug if you want to. That other person might be just thinking the same thing, and now they'll feel glad that it was you.
I really enjoy the way they talk to each other. Its very polite and well thought out yet also clear, easy to understand and efficient.
So much respect for his first response to the question.
This was a very interesting perspective. Thank you.
I actually went and hugged my brother cuz of this lol.
I really loved hearing this take. We as men should start by validating our own experiences and support each other.
nah.. we are not women to validate.. you know that doesnt work on most man.. find what fulfilling for you ..
You made very good point. I’m glad you broke it down.
I wanna add that kids don't always know why they do bad things (and much later as adults, they know even less, bc the source of trauma lies so far back they might not even remember), so even if you ask the kid who smeared feces at the walls "why", he might just say "i dunno". I'm speaking from my own experience (a way less disgusting prank, but) my mum actually asked me why. I said "dunno" and started to cry, possibly because I realized she was disappointed in me (i today think I just wanted attention as I had been neglected) while all I wanted was to be seen.
Wow never heard it this way before… good stuff
What a fantastic answer. I am amazed that he is so clear and precise about this.
Important conversation and perspective - thank you!
This is super simple. It's about kindness... It's about listening and offering compassion and tools. It's about teaching our children exactly how to be happy and kind at their core. As a happiness coach, I can see how simple this is, but it's just not being taught. No one needs a degree, no one needs to be a doctor, this is very simple, but it's just not being taught in school or at home.
Yes, we need "individual responsibility" for people to start caring about anyone other than themselves. If only we could invent some kind of word to describe individuals working with other individuals...
It is interesting how men's problems are no one's problems but the individual's himself, yet women's problems need to be tackled down by the entire society
I've never seen this Dr, he's fantastic! Maybe I only feel that way because he's confirming everything I've been saying about incels for years! As a woman, I've had responses ranging from, "its not my responsibility to educate these men" to "omg, don't make a connection with someone like that, its dangerous because then u'll become a focus for their feelings of anger towards woman". I've always thought that people were so cold and unsympathetic, and incapable of seeing the wood for the trees, regarding the need to engage from a place of understanding in order to change minds & hearts. I believe that anger never convinced Anyone of Anything...EVER. If you want to change someone's mind on a topic, you need to first understand their position, so you can gauge how wide a gap there is between yourself & themselves, & to know where to start the conversation. Anger & dismissal just make people think you're an a-hole, so they dismiss you & your opinion too. Its pretty simple in my mind.
Update: I'd like to add that we need to understand & clarify, that "toxic masculinity" is toxic to the man experiencing it, not society.
Thank you doctor, I am going through all the above
I finally witnessed a video that shared some supports tours MEN. Thank you 🙏🏻
we need to take a similar approach to politics. the notion of "you're giving them a platform", them being a bad person or on the "other" side, is ridiculous. when the talking stops the real problems begin, and you're seeing it manifest more and more in politics.
I think a huge problem is that alot of mothers coddle their sons, purposely making them dependant on them. They do everything for the kid rendering them useless to get by in life. It's a way of controlling & having a friend. It's really creepy.
And what's your take on the father's role in such a scenario?
The all devouring mother. Using their child as a substitute husband.
@@hashmo101 ask Mothers if they would be happy if their sons are still living at home at age, say, 30?
Mother's are all different, but generally do not have a husband like relationship with their sons.
@@AA-fi8xjyes they will actually
@@gabrielbevan-rt5yl yes it does sound like that.
The suggestion that mothers( and it's a large number of mothers...to be relevant) use their sons that way, does sound like using a pet.
So, now it's gone to....mothers treat their sons like pets.
I think we need to take a step back here and perhaps consider my suggestion that mothers in the main, do not.
If that is a viable option to consider.
Unless you want to go the third option....pseudo husband.
1. Mothers see their sons as husband's?
2. Mothers see their sons as pets?
3. Mothers see their sons as sons?
Subscribed! I love your show! Huge inspiration!
as for your final statements about "society vs individuals", i think that ultimately you can phrase it in either way: saying "it's the responsibility of society" and saying "it's the responsibility of individuals" is ultimately the same thing, because society is made of individuals! the only way to change society is if enough individuals start changing.
there's a phrase i really like "someone has to make a stand against evil. why should it *not* be me?"
it's what i've believed in my whole life and why i almost never agree with people who try to present "society" and "individuals" as two different, almost separate, things
How to fix it. Always no matter what?
Create a better alternative.
And there is always a better alternative out there and for the small possibility that there isn't one create it yourself.
The man speaks the truth 💯
Before this episode I've never heard about Dr K. Thx for bringing him. 🔥
Sounds like he saying women need to chip in a bit and meet halfway on the issue.
It's also other men. The unhappy "Andrew Tate Incel" is a minority. If you talk with people you quickly find out that the majority of men are also weirded out by them.
It's easier to convince other men to be empathetic towards our struggles.
@@daviddinoger men do understand. There’s just not choosing to be empathetic.
I love this, ive believed for a bit recently that we need to share empathy in this world , we'll only make it through this together. Hopefully the newer generations will be able to support eachother
Dr K is the best, and he said it at the start, people who are suffering need to be heard and understood, we need to empathize! when we deny their suffering they go search for someone else that will validate them, even if that role model is bad for society as a whole
Dr. K is amazing. We need more men who women will hear to speak about this stuff. It isnt going away.
I have a serious question, what am I meant to do when his reply is that “because Andrew Tate understands that all women are thots” or something like that? I am willing to bet my left tit no Andrew Tate fan is going to say “I am affected by loneliness and inadequacy and that’s why I gravitate toward trp”.
It's important to note that "toxic masculinity" has become a very broad umbrella term that's being thrown around to label men who aren't actually toxic. Just being muscular, owning luxurious cars and having casual relationships with women doesn't constitute "toxic masculinity", but this is exactly how it is being portrayed. "Toxic masculinity" is being pushed without the nuance that it needs. It's essentially an overcorrection to the detriment of society.
Those traits may not mean one has toxic masculinity, but Andrew Tate for sure does lmao
@@whit9172 Bullshit. There is no such thing as "toxic masculinity". Saying that insinuates that there is an inherent aspect of being male that is toxic. Complete BULLSHIT.
I take issue with the term itself. Masculinity isn’t toxic. Femininity isn’t toxic. Toxic behavior is just that, doesn’t need to be gendered.
@@armonkaviani7808 Agreed. Tying the two words together implies there's an aspect of *masculinity* that is toxic. That is simply BS.
@@armonkaviani7808 Toxic masculinity isn't that masculinity is toxic its a version that us as a society consider masculine that is toxic. Stuff like dudes aren't allowed to cry stuff for example.
Unironically powerful message right there at the end... It's up to us individuals. Go hug a man!
This man is great… Thank you for having him on your podcast
The only thing I find bothersome about some incel guys is that they seem to have an entitlement and they will complain about how no women want them, but the reality is that there are women that want them. They just aren't supermodels. I actually tried to have a conversation with an incel online, and I simply asked why he felt the way he did. He eventually said 'no woman will date me--you're all so judgmental'. I asked him if he'd date a girl that listens and tries to love him, but just so happens to be overweight. He said 'of COURSE not!'...that really confused me. But maybe he's a one-off. Andrew Tate certainly goes out of his way to make guys feel pressured to only feel like they're 'good enough' if they're rich and their girlfriends are all 10s, which probably makes those guys feel even worse.
Not a one-off at all. I see this CONSTANTLY in my line of work.
Women are incapable of love
You guys are incapable of love
I can see how it seems that way to you, but from our perspective that’s not how it is. Some general info as an example, I’m mid thirties, MBA, great career, well mannered, no vices, own home, good shape, two cars (imo).
1. If I swipe 5000 profiles online, I can’t get one match.
2. If I swipe 10,000, I’ll get one match with a 2/10, and I am certainly at least between a 5 to 7 out of 10. It’s not entitlement, but I work hard in my career, education, gym, finances, and I do deserve better than a 2/10 (you do also, everyone does, there should be some level of parity). I don’t want a supermodel, I want parity or close to it.
3. That 2/10 match will have the audacity to ghost, play games, put no effort into conversation, have ridiculous expectations (accept my kids from another man, accept that her career comes first, doesn’t want my surname, high body count, etc).
4. I go to work on London underground, not a single woman will smile or say good morning, or make eye contact. Not one, for years.
5. I am bombarded every single day with ‘toxic masculity’ or ‘mansplaining’ or ‘equality and diversity programmes’.
6. The irony is, there is no equality. Men will lose their kids, finances, homes, friends, and there is absolutely no equality or fairness. No 200 followers who will support me no matter how fat and useless we are (unlike females).
7. They will then send us to an anger management class based on false accusations where there are suspiciously no women at all, only men.
8. We just see and hear women hating us online all day every day. Incel groups are the antidote to being treated the way we are treated. There are more feminist groups than incel groups.
9. Beta cuck males support and defend women in the workplace even when they are categorically wrong because they think they will win favor with the hot secretary they are defending (because they don’t get laid themselves).
10. If we do by some miracle meet a woman in a date, there is still ghosting, judgement, comparison to her exs, a long list of dudes she screwed, and there is absolutely nothing traditional or special about that woman for us to actually value.
11. Then we have the white women who hate on white men, what is that all about?
12. Women will shower support on a loser slut insta/OF girl, and praise her for being fat, whilst at the same time totally ignore men who are doing great in their lives. From what I see, ladies just don’t like us, they hate us and would exterminate us if they could. Sad but true.
13. Every single month it’s either women’s international month, diversity month, women in the workplace month, pink month, rainbow month….there is no alpha male month. Doesn’t exist.
I’m not saying the above is right or wrong, but that is exactly how it is. I have no reason to lie…just saying what me and others experience. It is simply not a nice existence, not at all, actually it’s pain.
I am one of the lucky ones, I left the UK, went abroad and found a more traditional woman and our marriage is working out great. But there is no way I will ever forgive or forget western women for the way they have abandoned us, betrayed us and hate us. I will never forget it.
Lies. Women feel way more entitled to the tallest, most handsome looking men and their resources with a whole list of dealbreakers, while most men would be happy with a bit of positive attention from any woman.
Society don't do sh!t because we forget we're PART of society. Every solution or problem starts with at least ONE person, and it's only when enough individuals come together that "society" plays a part, but change, regarding ANY sort of issue, starts with you and me right now.
So true.
That is true. Everyone is always saying "society needs to fix this" but never do anything themselves because they see society as some entity of its own that they don't have responsibility for when in reality it is everyone's responsibility. It's easy to say stuff like "I wouldn't make a difference unless society as a whole changes" but if you aren't even trying to help you are as responsible as everyone else
Always eye opening listening to dr.K
Wow. Wow. Wow. Great video. Everything said is bang on. Our actual social network where we would get actual connection has been replaced by social media. And the results are in.
Tate's overwhelming message is one of superficial self-centredness: money, power, f-#$ing women, body, image. These are the most shallow and worst features of a human, and contrast with giving, compassion, intellect, justice. Altruism. Social media has given him the platform to the masses as if he were Aristotle or Plato, but he is a Meathead. The current generation want to be "influencers". But influence without value is destructive.
Good luck with keeping losin bro😂
@@soacker25 uhh, I'm happily married in a job I like with two great kids. But you've said all I need to know about you.
@@user-nd1mz4hp6w sure bro... Try harder.
Money = time and experiences, thinking of it as a bad, immoral or superficial is extremely low IQ. Power? Who doesn't want some level of power in their lives? It gives you agency and control over your own destiny, if you lack power it simply means somebody else has it over you. Women? This is literally built-in programming so instead of coping, one might aswell learn how to deal with women instead of endlessly browsing adult websites, those relationships are super important for a man's development. Body and image? Perception is reality, the way you look impacts the way others will treat you in any social environment, why not maximise self-outcome and create positive feedback loops that will make you happier and more confident? You see, your comment essentially criticizes the idea of improving yourself and thinks it's somehow mutually exclusive with the values you hold dear. You can't be altruistic if you have nothing to give, nothing to offer. Maximizing yourself allows to make a bigger difference in other people's lives.
not true at all, the message s life is hard as man but u must suffer to succeed and protect the women around, get as rich as possible so you can look after your family and not be controlled by the matrix
suggesting that men should "man up" does not help those who are struggling. In fact, using phrases like "man up" "figure it out" "pull urself by the bootstraps" can further exacerbate feelings of shame, isolation, and inadequacy for men who are already facing mental health challenges. It can perpetuate harmful stereotypes around masculinity that discourage men from seeking the support they need. Encouraging open and non-judgmental conversations about mental health, validating men's emotions, and connecting them to appropriate resources for help can be much more beneficial in supporting their well-being. It's important to approach mental health with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to listen rather than relying on reductive and dismissive phrases like "man up."
No one cares about men and they frame everything as toxic masculinity like this shill.
💯
I have never heard anyone use the phrase man up. It sounds like something someone made up to ignore mens real problems. One thing I have heard when talking about my problems is that men are privileged. If you change the word "man up" with the word privileged in your statement then I would agree with it.
@@treeforged9097 toughen up, don't be soft, don't be scared, be strong, don't be a p**y,, don't be a simp
@@treeforged9097 Agreed.