What To Do If Your Husband Is Emotionally Unavailable
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- Опубликовано: 5 сен 2024
- Today we're going to be talking about what to do if your husband is emotionally unavailable.
Having a partner who is emotionally unavailable is incredibly frustrating. If you're experiencing this right now I just want you to know that you are not alone. This was a key thing that I wanted in a relationship. I mean, most women want emotional connection. They want emotional intimacy. That's what makes us feel safe.
And then we're with these men who just-you know, in Adam's defense, he'd never been taught emotional intelligence, it can feel like no matter what you do you can never reach your partner.
Adam was not in touch with his own feelings. He was really disconnected from himself. So it made it very hard for him to connect to me on that deeper level.
So I want to share with you how we cracked open Adam so that he could connect more deeply with his emotions for himself and then have emotional intimacy within our relationship.
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#emotionallyunavailable #emotionalintelligence #relationshipadvice
At least he is open to learning. Some men don’t care if they are emotionally unavailable. They are not even interested in learning.
Well, I tried for 12 years and gave up because you can’t force someone to change he has to want the changes himself. A waste of time, I left and never look back.
Yes, I just thought about it, he wasn't abusive. If it were my husband, I would drink cocoa alone. At first when I saw these cases, I dissociated thinking that this could help my marriage. Now my codependency is improved and I can see that this doesn't apply to abusive partners.
Wait let get this straight, the time this video was made u were married 18years, only 3 years ago the husband learned emotional intelligence. So for 15years the wife was meeting her husband's needs while hers were ignored? For 15years she had to learn to be her own man? For 15years she had resist the temptation of an emotional affair, knowing very well she might die without ever having her basic needs met in the relationship she is in? For 15years she had to give and give and never received. Yho!
Great, he was open and didn't push back. All I got and get is push back, not needed , I said the said same safe space intention. Gave him space, but he loved and loves the space, doesn't care, he only loves his space and loves being disconnected. He knows how safe he is, unjudged. Its been perfect, and wonderful for him. Over 10 years of him enjoying his space the way he wants it. However, he also enjoys, judging me, criticism of me, I gave him everything on a deeper level. What advice can you give him for her. Oh...rewards...so nice
Well, I tried for 12 years and gave up because you can’t force someone to change he has to want the changes himself. You deserve better, leave as soon as possible.
It seems like the reason he came to a place where he was open to learning is bc she starting meeting her own needs and I think she said kind of disconnected from him. That seems like the key is learning how to meet your own needs and that is exactly where Jesus has been leading me towards and to entrust my husband to him. “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:19 ESV
I’m focusing on this scripture to let God supply my needs and it says he supplies every need we have. So I need to learn how to self regulate my own emotions and needs without my husband and wait for God to move on his heart but in the meantime I have to realize I can’t change him. This was extremely helpful, thank you so much for this video.
I truly love that - that’s encouraging because that’s exactly what the lord has been leading me to - to learn to trust Him away from the man…. And trust him with my man ….
The bigger problem is that he was emotionally unavailable, unable to connect with his feelings (which includes his ability to love you) but he's been married for 18 years
Marriage is a great teacher for patience
That poor dude. Just let him get a few thoughts out before interrupting the man. I feel sorry for him.
Nothing about this man in particular, I respect the fact that he’s willing to try to help himself BUT I’m sorry, no woman should have to emotionally support herself because her man is a damn child that is broken and doesn’t care enough to fix himself before getting into a relationship. Screw that,I’m not holding a little boys hand while I try to teach him to have feelings! Grow the f**k up and fix your issues or stay cold hearted and single and grow old all alone, that’s what you deserve if you don’t fix yourself. A woman doesn’t give her all just to spend her life trying to fix a broken ass little boy!
Ugh this is why so many women are single... men just don't find it acceptable to get mental help
JoleenCox. Yes! Couldn’t have said it better, myself! 💪🏼 Grown ass Man- Boys 😤
I dont agree that we shouldn't have to emotionally support ourselves in relatjonships. I think people with healthy attachment styles do this naturally. People with anxious or avoidant attachments are imbalance in this area and it becomes a problem. I agree that it is not up to us to hold their hand if they don't display this. I don't think it's okay for women to be emotionally neglected in a relationship, so at some point men need to shape up or the women will not want to stay for too much longer.
That's the whole point of a marriage. We choose one person, For Better or For worse, and choose to try and make it work with those people for the rest of our lives. That's what For Better or For Worse means. We just have to hope and pray that they actually change and grow. Just like we expect them to accept our flaws while we change and grow
I agree 100%
Wonderful and helpful video. Wish you would have allowed Adam to full express his thoughts without jumping in and taking over. Thank you!
Appreciated some of this content, but her over bearing and talking over him was really disheartening.
For me it took a devine intervention.
Gee it would be awesome if she would be quiet a bit and let him speak for himself
She went through that emotional trauma not him so she has to tell the story.
Woman, let him talk
It’s all about her !!! Blah !! Blah !! Guy is being emasculated can see him shutting down and going into computer mode … screen is going dark 🙄
Interesting video. My partner is also like you described. How did you take care of your own emotional needs and everything what comes out from not meeting them in your relationship? Can you give us a practicle example? When my emotional needs aren't meet, it also have the influence on my other needs like intimacy, sex and so on. And I want them to be meet somehow. If they aren't meet in my relationship, I'l literally go and look outside of it. Which eventually may destroy that relationship.. I wish for Adam, to have more opportunity to speak for himself, to be frank. I missed his input in this conversation, you know why? Because 80% talking was done by you. My impression was that you are mothering him or treating like a patient..? I did the same mistake with my partner. Gosh, how he was resisting! And thank goodness! You know why? Because if he would listen and do everything I say, I'd still feel like I am mothering him or that I am his therapist. And I realised that what I need for myself is a grown ass man. So now I decided to focus on myself and give him space to grow his emotional ass.. I think for us - women - it is so damn hard to comperhand how it is possible to be that intelligent (intelectually) and in the same time so deprived from the emotional aspect of that intelligence.
You take care of your emotional needs the same way you would take care of them if you were single.
@@TomikaKelly yes and we do that , but what does a relationship bring you then except for charity work? cause i feel like it is so exhausting taking care of myself and my needs and hisses, it feels like only giving, like what you would do for a child
I'm getting uncomfortable codependent vibes even though she said she pulled back. I've seen friends that struggle with controlling codependency become obsessed with managing their relationship, and it can present in different ways, but it's controlling nonetheless. I wasn't even in their relationships, and I felt pushed and pulled by the instability and intensity of their fixation. The women I knew in these relationships flipped from fawning to controlling and resentment. I just feel uncomfortable watching this.
Thank you for sharing this, both of you. So much food for thought.
What happens if you have tried to work on yourself but don’t have any support from anyone and you have gone into a deep depression about it?
Sounds like your in the stage of your spiritual awakening called "dark night of the soul"
You're in the storm before you see your rainbow, stay consistent & you'll come out better than ever, I promise 🫶
@@NicoleeBee23so does one stay and keep at it? Are you saying there is light somewhere waiting for us and we will soon feel and see it? Please I am feeling broken and confused and need some input
I am very grateful that I've found this channel - thank you for your videos.
I was with a man who has fear of intimacy - we broke up after 8 years and I think that I couldn't help him. He needs a therapy.
Very interesting video. The sound was not very good.
How would you start your ceremony evenings?? Just say, ‘’ok say what’s on your heart’’?
Love this idea but was unsure how you even cultivate that.
Thanks!
This is very helpful thank you
Love this video. ❤
Of course he's emotionally available but just not open to sharing his
😂"eat cement"! I thought it was only south Africans who say that to each other
You can’t hear shit
Men should be open realationships