My husband favors his mother and keeps scolding me.

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  • Опубликовано: 4 июл 2024
  • Shridhar Maheshwari is a counselling psychologist (M.A). He counsels people on their life issues, trains psychology professionals and makes videos for public education.
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Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @Shridharlifeschooling
    @Shridharlifeschooling  3 года назад +24

    If you need counselling, fill the form: link.shridharlifeschool.com/yt/counsel
    To share your problems or feedback fill the form: forms.gle/n3SAakwChceESJp47

    • @user-ft4eq5qd1g
      @user-ft4eq5qd1g 3 года назад +4

      Can you please make a video on anti social personality disorder in children?

    • @raveenarr8724
      @raveenarr8724 3 года назад +10

      Can you make a video on how to deal with narcissistic mother in laws. Please note this kind of mils are the worst of all mils!!! It is total madness.These kind of women are super manipulators. They are suffering from disorder that is not treatable.

    • @damselindistresslol5935
      @damselindistresslol5935 3 года назад +2

      Are my emotions my husband's problem?? Or vice versa??

    • @alisherkahan9442
      @alisherkahan9442 3 года назад

      Qn

    • @gowsiyashaik1426
      @gowsiyashaik1426 3 года назад

      I tried filling the form for counselling but not able to open the form

  • @krittika8031
    @krittika8031 3 года назад +1017

    If mother in-laws are so possessive about their sons, they should not get their sons married at first place.

  • @pruthvimsr5683
    @pruthvimsr5683 2 года назад +278

    The sad part is....No one's husband will watch this video... only the suffering wife's will check these videos...to convince herself from inside....but I felt good to watch this video :)

  • @sonikadutt7656
    @sonikadutt7656 3 года назад +694

    This is the story of every married woman who lives with her in laws

    • @preetparv2026
      @preetparv2026 3 года назад +7

      Right

    • @lawholic7718
      @lawholic7718 3 года назад +56

      Jarure nahi h mam sath reh k hi torture kar sakte h .....kuch ese bhi h jinhe itna confidence h ki dur Beth k bhi bete ko itna bhar dete h ki vo apni biwi ko apna dushman smjhne lagta h .....log kehte h bahu buri hoti h jo saas sasur ko pareshan rakhti h .....bahu kis s shikayat lagae jise saas sasur dukhi kar k rakhte h

    • @Naimisha4oct
      @Naimisha4oct 3 года назад +13

      My story is the same.

    • @Namaste-Narratives1
      @Namaste-Narratives1 3 года назад +30

      its the story of every married woman (living with in laws or living far away from them.. thanks to mobile phones,,, conference calls.. video calls.... :D)

    • @swathicherukuri7698
      @swathicherukuri7698 3 года назад +3

      My story is also same

  • @cookwithmrs-legendry9493
    @cookwithmrs-legendry9493 2 года назад +261

    Even I was going through toughest time.. I learnt to fight alone.. cry.. become more stronger.. i had never got my husband's support till now..! Till now I was going through all depression,sadness,suicidal thoughts etc..but so far I can proudly say I'm a strong women/ single parent...

    • @kittysshopping9815
      @kittysshopping9815 2 года назад +5

      Proud of you mam

    • @priyanjaliverma9060
      @priyanjaliverma9060 2 года назад +7

      I also want to be same ... 😭😭😭

    • @shiprasarkar6123
      @shiprasarkar6123 2 года назад +6

      ❤️ stay strong

    • @himanimaurya5683
      @himanimaurya5683 2 года назад +5

      More power to you! Good you got out of a coward’s control!

    • @nikitabunker1504
      @nikitabunker1504 2 года назад +20

      Im feeling the same....it's just 1 month that I am being married...and he try to take me out from his house 2 times..... I don't feel good..... I can't say anything thing to him coz whatever I told him he said all to his mom...even a small thing.. now I'm scared to talk ...I don't talk much to anyone.... I feel very alone.... There is nothing called personal remain in my life ...

  • @angu6
    @angu6 3 года назад +132

    Not only mother in law. Entire family corner a girl and husband asking to ignore it as we cannot change everyone. It’s not easy to follow all this when no one value us and give respect.

    • @cookwithmrs-legendry9493
      @cookwithmrs-legendry9493 2 года назад +3

      Yes..this is what I'm going through..

    • @sahasrassweetybunny1356
      @sahasrassweetybunny1356 2 года назад +5

      I am married for 9 years.I am suffering a lot by in- laws. We are financially independent , but for second baby my hubby (35+) need to take their permission and they are opposing. .

    • @suvarnaanad6633
      @suvarnaanad6633 2 года назад +2

      Very true

    • @dhanushakp317
      @dhanushakp317 2 года назад +1

      Absolutely correct

    • @georgiejasminelindsay6883
      @georgiejasminelindsay6883 Год назад +3

      I agree ....same here ... Partner gets mad at me if I want to speak with him about his mom , takes his mother's side and expects me to stay quiet

  • @ashseashell
    @ashseashell 3 года назад +153

    After reading all the comments.. only thing we can do is.. as mothers let's make our son rational and independent emotionally. Let's not make our son a crutch and steal his life from him. Our son is ours till he is 18. Then he is on his own. Not to push my son to follow my dreams. My son's wife is his wife first and then my daughter in law. For my son.. its his wife first and then me. Coz they have to live together for life.

    • @mahasoonamaishu3256
      @mahasoonamaishu3256 3 года назад +14

      I really agree with you...but cruel MIL should realise it

    • @jananip1183
      @jananip1183 2 года назад +6

      Even me and my friend had taken this resolution ..👍

    • @nikitapagrawal0511
      @nikitapagrawal0511 2 года назад +11

      I wish more women (mothers) could understand this.

    • @nikitapagrawal0511
      @nikitapagrawal0511 2 года назад +7

      Also if I go and even just plainly say this to my husband, it would be another conflict with the mention of influence of western culture.

    • @MissExFool3721
      @MissExFool3721 2 года назад +1

      @@jananip1183 Me too!! 👍🏿

  • @abundant224
    @abundant224 3 года назад +65

    Just because they are a team does not mean you are not good enough..Much needed statement

  • @sudarshan3965
    @sudarshan3965 3 года назад +114

    In modern times it is not feasible to live with in laws. Better live separately after marriage and keep visiting your parents time to time.

    • @manmeetkauragarwal3012
      @manmeetkauragarwal3012 3 года назад +4

      V true

    • @infinity_shows_149
      @infinity_shows_149 3 года назад +7

      It’s not completely true... if you have a spirit of love and service towards your parents, you’ll anyways find a right balance between your spouse and parents. Choosing a right partner in this situation becomes very important who willingly chooses to understand and accommodate with and love in-laws. However, exceptions do always exist.
      But, if your intention is to abdicate your responsibility towards your parents, you will find hundreds of excuses to stay away from them. Love, devotion and a sense of duty are enough to mount over any challenges faced in family. Of course, exceptions exist here too, like, if parents willingly want to live in ancestral home away from your workplace, etc...

    • @sharonchai7084
      @sharonchai7084 3 года назад +7

      Sadly in Chinese culture, sometimes the wife don't have a say of to say or not to stay with our in-laws. Husband is practising filial piety.

    • @neetu8807
      @neetu8807 3 года назад +1

      Not understood by every husbands

    • @waytoguidance
      @waytoguidance 6 месяцев назад

      very true completely agree

  • @ashseashell
    @ashseashell 3 года назад +206

    It's important to have financial independence to have the strength to start a discussion which may turn extremely ugly.

    • @swatimundhra4918
      @swatimundhra4918 2 года назад +7

      Best suggestions

    • @vivekfriendly24
      @vivekfriendly24 2 года назад +2

      Why all girls hate mother in law? Even though my mother is so nice to my wife... My wife just doesn't like my mother's presence...
      I just wonder!!! Why ? She is like stealing me or grabbing me away from my mother.
      How could a son refuse his mother, who is still Loving him. If he can... then how can he be truthful to his wife's love???
      If people are struggling without food... then these problems would go away...
      Then Only one problem food that's all...

    • @rosyapplekitchen635
      @rosyapplekitchen635 2 года назад +34

      @@vivekfriendly24 stealing you from your mother? Once you get married your partner comes first. I think she feels left out. Because when you put your wife first then she will also invest more effort in you and that includes loving your family. If you don’t put your wife first she can’t love your family as she will eventually explode. Try being nice to your wife then these problems will go away.

    • @pruthvimsr5683
      @pruthvimsr5683 2 года назад

      True

    • @Rinnegan-ew4dw
      @Rinnegan-ew4dw 2 года назад +5

      @@rosyapplekitchen635 well said I hope my hubby reads this😏

  • @aartih8280
    @aartih8280 3 года назад +134

    MIL should realize her son isn't her property and her DIL isn't her slave to be exploited and insulted
    Husband has to grow up and learn to be emotionally dependant on his wife rather than turning to his mom for everything and silently watching injustice being meted to his wife

    • @aparnagubbala2945
      @aparnagubbala2945 2 года назад +3

      100 percent true dear, if they want to they doesn't do marriage to their sons. Even I am facing the same.which my husband never understand

    • @sahasrassweetybunny1356
      @sahasrassweetybunny1356 2 года назад +3

      Same if i argue for my rights. He acts like he don't want me, neglects me for years. If i do the same he tell me abt my responsibilities of a wife,mother, daughter in law.

    • @BigTroubleD
      @BigTroubleD Год назад +3

      You will never win against a mother and son who is on the same team.
      The only way to win is to focus on building up yourself and leaving them in their nasty incestuous relationship.
      It’s a hot mess you don’t want any part of.

  • @bhavayog
    @bhavayog 3 года назад +197

    Mother in law and husband never make mistakes.. they do it on purpose. Evil intentions.

  • @lakhwantsheri
    @lakhwantsheri 8 месяцев назад +6

    All men should watch this. there is nothing worse than feeling lonely in a marriage

  • @n.m6249
    @n.m6249 Год назад +60

    Great advice, I'm shocked that an Indian man can be so open minded about such sensitive matter especially in Indian culture. This is excellent advice. Most advice is to keep quiet no matter what in-laws say.

    • @problemsolution267
      @problemsolution267 Год назад +5

      I agree, most of the advices are like, "u gotta learn to adjust. "

    • @n.m6249
      @n.m6249 Год назад +9

      @@problemsolution267 and that's not fair, in laws are not God, us women want to have relationships with them and that includes, if someone treats me disrespectful I need to address the issue. Since they are going to be part of my life. Us women would stand up for our men if our family was not treating them well. But they can't do the same life is so unfair

    • @problemsolution267
      @problemsolution267 Год назад +6

      @@n.m6249 When I said the same thing to my husband, he said, "That's our tradition". Sometimes I feel like slapping him tight when he uses such illogical statements but then again, " It's against our traditions". So zip up all the frustration n anger n go on.

    • @problemsolution267
      @problemsolution267 Год назад

      I personally believe in the concept of nuclear family. To each his own..

    • @n.m6249
      @n.m6249 Год назад +1

      @@problemsolution267 mmmmh I feel for you. I hope you don't live with in laws, I would die. I also can't stand how petty men become when it comes to their parents. Tell me I'm not Indian, why is pleasing parents so important that one even can give up being happy just to please parents. I've seen so many miserable people in their marriage but they can't leave their husband because his/her parents won't approve.

  • @rcswh7332
    @rcswh7332 3 года назад +97

    My MIL acts to my husband as if she cares me, they both discuss and decide on things in private and then my husband negotiates with me according to their wish as if he is asking my opinion first. Was fooled many times like this.. how to handle these kind of situations. You cannot question them coz i very well know they keep lying on small small things everyday. I m tired of standing up for myself.. nothing has changed in my ten years of life

    • @nivetharamesh535
      @nivetharamesh535 3 года назад +19

      Sorry for your situation. I'm in the same boat, I don't even bloody live with her. It's the fault of so called husbands and not the monster in laws, I don't call them mother in laws anymore they are monsters

    • @nikhilbk8205
      @nikhilbk8205 2 года назад +4

      Let her sole rest,then u could start a better life with your partner.
      Don't ever try to kill her or pray for her demise. Let it happen naturally.

    • @smitabulbule4925
      @smitabulbule4925 2 года назад +3

      @@nivetharamesh535 agree

    • @math0369
      @math0369 2 года назад +3

      She even stopped me from carrying formula bottle for my baby one night, and my guy was listening and following the order. Nothing worst than this.

    • @jyothijoy9776
      @jyothijoy9776 2 года назад +1

      Same here

  • @kittysshopping9815
    @kittysshopping9815 2 года назад +28

    I was reading the comment session and started crying.. may God solve all the problems of married girls ..I pray to god that your husband will understand you, care for you ...
    May god bless this all women who is not happy with their married life... Soon you all be happy ...❤️

  • @lilywasalittlegirl3875
    @lilywasalittlegirl3875 3 года назад +109

    They spoil my life nothing happeness with me. My mother in-law is evil. I can't go out side. I can't eat what I want. I can't wear what I want. No physical and mental happeness. I want divorce but I can't leave alone

  • @nuttyadventures3525
    @nuttyadventures3525 3 года назад +65

    After marriage, boy's parent should also disown their child, release their control from their lives as a girl's parents does. It's all about equality in rituals and mentality. Everyone should prioritize their partner the most, not parent or children. Now all are adults, let them make their own decisions and even mistakes.

    • @simsonroshini8786
      @simsonroshini8786 3 года назад +3

      Well said 👍👍

    • @manmeetkauragarwal3012
      @manmeetkauragarwal3012 3 года назад +3

      100 Percent

    • @adisha9966
      @adisha9966 2 года назад +3

      Completely agree.

    • @Greens2be
      @Greens2be 2 года назад

      Boys are obedient life insurances... you are asking them to disown a walking and talking money making puppets, that wont happen.

  • @divyaharidasmenon
    @divyaharidasmenon 3 года назад +47

    This is what people don't understand. My mother in law keeps telling lies to make him fight and hit me. She has so much of possessiveness that she doesn't even like us sleeping together. According to her, she wants the next generation. Give them babies and stay away from each other. The dot in law should be busy with household. My son is only mine. This kind of mentality creates issues.

    • @ava-if8xc
      @ava-if8xc 3 года назад +3

      This is really...stupid...how can ppl think like that...

    • @NA-vt6mz
      @NA-vt6mz 3 года назад +7

      Divorce

    • @divyaharidasmenon
      @divyaharidasmenon 3 года назад +9

      People are like that. I thought it's a very special place. I can visit temple pray and be happy with my husband. I went to mathura with ao much hope. I didn't knew it was a mad house. Being a bhraman family i expected good manners from them.buy the language has been filthy. Her mom is the home breaker there. She likes eveything under her control. Her husband my husband. I left. And now getting seperared.

    • @cookwithmrs-legendry9493
      @cookwithmrs-legendry9493 2 года назад +2

      Don't worry ..!Keep a little hope in karma

    • @shecheOT
      @shecheOT 2 года назад +3

      @@cookwithmrs-legendry9493 true., this is happening to me. I am not praying for someone's bad luck but a lot of things happening to her right now.

  • @deepikachandrashekaryallal1425
    @deepikachandrashekaryallal1425 3 года назад +29

    Let him respect his mom. But he should gain the trust of his wife and maintain little secrets of their couple life

  • @samidhamapsekar2280
    @samidhamapsekar2280 3 года назад +50

    U r too good but no mama boy is so sensible

    • @lehshya1720
      @lehshya1720 3 года назад +3

      Very true...

    • @ashseashell
      @ashseashell 3 года назад +3

      Coming to sense happens eventually.. at snail's pace.. but it happens.

    • @rishuyadav4410
      @rishuyadav4410 3 года назад +2

      I'm a momma's boy, and I'm Proud of it. I do love my mom more than i love myself!

    • @ashseashell
      @ashseashell 3 года назад +6

      @@rishuyadav4410 that is really good. I have a four year old son and he too is a mamma's boy. But that doesn't mean he should live according to my dictates once he is an adult. I am going to teach him my values now and trust that he will know the difference between right and wrong when he is older. There comes a point when one needs to stop parenting. I am secure about my son's love for me. I don't need him to abuse his wife and take my side for me to feel his love.

    • @rishuyadav4410
      @rishuyadav4410 3 года назад +1

      @@ashseashell
      "But that doesn't mean he should live according to once he's an adult"
      1. A Kid will always be a Kid in eyes of Mothers no matter how much older he is! I'm not even Adult but i still took most of my future decision by myself. I did what i wanted to, my mother never "dictated" me - infact she supported me!
      2. Parenting never stops in a Parent's life because parents are more older than their Kid; and that's why they have more life experiences/lessons than their kid.

  • @mamtaverma7600
    @mamtaverma7600 3 года назад +18

    My husband is also a Mumm's boy. He takes her on first priority. I m nothing for him before his parents. They always used abuses and wrong words against me and he never said to them anything. Very disappointed with the relationship. Let's see how long it will go...

    • @NA-vt6mz
      @NA-vt6mz 3 года назад +2

      How can u listen to abuses have u lost ur mind ?

    • @mamtaverma7600
      @mamtaverma7600 3 года назад

      @@NA-vt6mz what should I do?

    • @priyankaraina969
      @priyankaraina969 2 года назад

      @@mamtaverma7600 ..... U know better what u got to do....fight for your hapiness n respect you deserve

    • @problemsolution267
      @problemsolution267 Месяц назад

      Shridhar, one of the best counsellor says that a couple relationship is the prior n the strongest relationship, stronger that any parents-son/daughter relationship or any blood relationship in normal cases. Example, no blood relations can exist until first the couple gets intimate.

  • @earlofmar7987
    @earlofmar7987 Год назад +10

    WARNING: Just ask him if he is a momma's boy? If she doesn't respect boundaries: LEAVE. If your feelings are not important: LEAVE. If he doesn't support you and is not willing to get an unlisted phone number: LEAVE. You will NEVER be happy & fulfilled. She will continue to stage problems & cause crap.

  • @KavitaSingh-on1lq
    @KavitaSingh-on1lq 3 года назад +19

    Her son can't see the wrong things of his mother

    • @shruthisg3076
      @shruthisg3076 2 года назад +4

      Always wife is wrong about everything 😕

    • @ShaliniSingh-ip6wt
      @ShaliniSingh-ip6wt 2 года назад +1

      Same thing is happening with me.. even if my mil says anything wrong n I share this to my husband he will take me wrong that y m I saying this to him n thn he go n tell her what I told him about her

    • @shecheOT
      @shecheOT 2 года назад

      @@ShaliniSingh-ip6wt we are in the same boat. I am still being nice to her. I find that blessings has been pouring on me.

  • @deepikachandrashekaryallal1425
    @deepikachandrashekaryallal1425 3 года назад +21

    This is the every day life of most of women. In-laws want the girl to take up all the responsibility of the house but parallelly they are worried n scared about losing their son totally

  • @yakshukimummaa
    @yakshukimummaa 2 года назад +35

    In Indian society no one dare to speak logically.
    All preach morality to daughter in law.
    Brave you are.

  • @sunitapatelvlogs
    @sunitapatelvlogs 3 года назад +61

    This is tha major problem of most of the families

    • @PMcse
      @PMcse 3 года назад +14

      This is a lesson for us too, when we'll become mom-in-law in future. We have to be not-so-controlling mother in our children's married life. 👍

    • @emptyheart8483
      @emptyheart8483 3 года назад +3

      @@PMcse Well said👏

    • @katreenak4
      @katreenak4 3 года назад +1

      @@PMcse it is up to individual to individual.. some tjinks if I suffered I will not do same with mine ....but some thinks wat I went through I will trouble double or more to mine daughter in law.. it is about peoples nature whoever it is

  • @yashaswinigirish6986
    @yashaswinigirish6986 3 года назад +57

    Along with my MIL .... My husband has the same feelings for my SIL. I have to be reasonable for both of them🙄 He even talks very badly about me and my parents with them.

    • @JA-cs6ot
      @JA-cs6ot 3 года назад +3

      You better read Bhagavat Gita.. if you really wanna make it better between you and in laws.. Ordinary person may not be able to cope up with these shits for longer. This is your life, you are supposed to live it first.. not even your husband!! Reasonable?! You gonna put all your life and effort to make them convince and understand rather than your own happiness or dreams.. Live happily.. do what makes you happy..

    • @archanabaskar9455
      @archanabaskar9455 3 года назад

      I am also facing the same problem

    • @ShaliniSingh-ip6wt
      @ShaliniSingh-ip6wt 3 года назад

      Same with me

    • @lavanyarajaraman849
      @lavanyarajaraman849 3 года назад

      I am facing the same problem.

    • @ananyaagar
      @ananyaagar 3 года назад +2

      Same here …. My in laws relation with my parents is also not good … they do bitching about my family nd he expected me to respect his parents which i do unwillingly

  • @nishachaudhary5719
    @nishachaudhary5719 Год назад +8

    Hope every male have the same level of understanding as you Mr. Shridhar
    Thanks for making this video

  • @drmeenakazi1948
    @drmeenakazi1948 3 года назад +31

    My husband is also mumma boy. He always takes his mother and sister everywhere along with me. No privacy. According to him he gives me personal time. But no he doesn't. Don't u think he should give privacy. He is busy with his office work n then his family. What about me. It's being 5 year's. Depression me chale gaye hum. I need help

    • @shammasharif3586
      @shammasharif3586 3 года назад +1

      You ok?

    • @swatitamrakar5022
      @swatitamrakar5022 3 года назад

      Same thing happened with me, I m not finding solution wht to do

    • @rupasingh7293
      @rupasingh7293 2 года назад +1

      Make friends, take out time for yourself.

    • @ManishaThakur-hm4zk
      @ManishaThakur-hm4zk 2 года назад

      Same story h meri bhi .6 yrs of marriage no baby and husband is completely happy with his parents and brother

  • @kiranrajendra7921
    @kiranrajendra7921 Год назад +5

    Why do so many women have this in-law problems? When the daughter in law first enters her husband's home she is expected to adjust and get along with her new family. If she fails, it is blamed on her parents for a bad upbringing. Many don't find a way.
    But nobody blames the man ever for a bad upbringing for mistreating his wife. Whatever it is the girl is blamed

  • @nehasingh754
    @nehasingh754 2 года назад +35

    But in indian family.... emotional blackmailing from parents side is common....how to deal with such situation??

    • @Rinnegan-ew4dw
      @Rinnegan-ew4dw 2 года назад +1

      Exactly

    • @rajswathi7085
      @rajswathi7085 2 года назад +9

      100percent true mother in laws are emotionøly blackmailing thier son , and not allowing him to live his life.

  • @orangemocha3693
    @orangemocha3693 3 года назад +42

    Don't get married to much work.

  • @salmamulla3519
    @salmamulla3519 3 года назад +57

    I went through the same problem,every word u said about mother in law & son is exactly the same with my mother in law & my husband,many a times she tried to break our marriage,but Alhamdulillah Allah is great & above every1 my patience was rewarded, Alhamdulillah its 18 years of my marriage & much happy now.

    • @meghas2481
      @meghas2481 3 года назад +1

      Same is happening with me....I am also praying God...

    • @farhathtabassum9542
      @farhathtabassum9542 2 года назад

      Kya mila aapko ...please tell me bahut pareshaan hun

    • @discoveringnature4445
      @discoveringnature4445 2 года назад +1

      I am married 16+ yrs..... situation has not improved and no idea if it improve in near future

    • @shiprasarkar6123
      @shiprasarkar6123 2 года назад

      U r giving me hope ✨ was about to quit today but changed my mind today

    • @ramyanatarajan4939
      @ramyanatarajan4939 2 года назад

      Happy that your situation has improved by God's grace. I am facing exactly the same situation.

  • @PoojaPandey-ro2kc
    @PoojaPandey-ro2kc 11 месяцев назад +10

    I was suffering from this issue, I realized after 5 years, now mentally I kicked him off and feel peace within.
    Focus on my goal, my importance matters most , I only stay with him physically not mentally ❤ am enjoying my life now.

    • @MohammedJEM5.786
      @MohammedJEM5.786 6 месяцев назад +1

      Me too facing this mamma's boy prblm from 6 years...

  • @elva136
    @elva136 2 года назад +40

    For single girls reading the comments, simply look for a prospect who is an independent thinker. Even some men who live away from his parents are very attached with their mother. So don't just look for someone who is settled outside. Have talks with them and some things he needs to have his own opinion. For example, if a mother is religious the son should have independent views on religion. Talk to him about this topic and ask what he thinks. If he is unsure then ask for different topics. Like sharing household work/ finances/political views. If he doesn't have independent thinking for these don't go ahead with the relationship. It is likely he is a momma's boy and will do as told by elders in the family.

  • @NatureLite2023
    @NatureLite2023 3 года назад +14

    This is huge problem every women has to face. Its fate of women. I wish this culture changes soon.

  • @shanudsilva3819
    @shanudsilva3819 Год назад +12

    Well explained and you have spoken out exactly what a wife goes through. Thank you Sir.

  • @harithah4331
    @harithah4331 3 года назад +19

    Each and every sentence u spoke is the absolute truth, No doubt...I am so happy I came over this video..

  • @shraddha22belose
    @shraddha22belose 2 года назад +5

    The most sensible and reasonable video ever seen till now...great... Feeling strong and humble at same time...Thank you.

  • @ivrandeepkourisher9430
    @ivrandeepkourisher9430 2 года назад +31

    One more important factor is that not only mother-in-law is responsible for this because a single person in family cannot create problems until the whole family of in laws is corrupted by evil intentions
    ..if a single person in in-laws family fight for right and wrong the situation may get changed...but it doesn't happen as everyone is referring daughter-in-law as a person came from other places..and never gives her equivalent status as equal as other family members of their family 👪

    • @codingiscreativity
      @codingiscreativity 2 года назад

      Just curious to know, what happened to the background check before marriage?

    • @nehasingh-fx1vl
      @nehasingh-fx1vl 2 года назад +3

      @@codingiscreativity after marriage only u get to know about them …. before that they appear very good people from far away

    • @sujatasahoo6446
      @sujatasahoo6446 2 года назад +2

      Correct, its always a group of wrong people with wrong intentions....

  • @raveenarr8724
    @raveenarr8724 3 года назад +51

    Mr. Shreedhar your advise is amazing and logical but I can bet, it will not work.These are all tried and tested. Sadly it doesn’t work when it comes to in laws. That’s that !!!! My opinion- girl/women should have the legal rights to say no to joint family. That is the only solution 🙏🏼🙏🏼

    • @NatureLite2023
      @NatureLite2023 3 года назад +12

      Yes i agree. Girl has to leave a family and come to man's life. But men will be with his parents all the time. It is not fair. I suggest both should stay away from parents.

    • @manub619
      @manub619 3 года назад +2

      How many more law s married women need...?? All laws are biased against man and his family.. Mr sheedhar plz talk about false cases by indian married women, notion in our country is victim means women, perpetrators are always husband and his family members

    • @manub619
      @manub619 3 года назад +1

      @@NatureLite2023 good idea, if in laws from girl side don't interfere in couples life then success of marriage is high...

    • @raveenarr8724
      @raveenarr8724 3 года назад +5

      @@manub619 I am only talking about women who are silently suffering with their in-laws living in joint family systems. Some women carry on enduring emotional torture ( which is worse than physical torture) as they have no choice. Some take the wrong path taking advantage by framing the men. It’s not acceptable. But just give her the choice if she wants to live with boy’s family or not!!!

    • @manub619
      @manub619 3 года назад

      @@raveenarr8724 I understand and feel empathy towards woman who are really suffering, husband should be sensitive fully agreed. However I disagree with legal power to women to say no to joint/living with in-laws. It must be deliberated within family not in police station. These days lawyers, police and girl side are looting boys side of their hard earned money by filing false cases and traumatizing aged parents and husbands relatives. Olden days marriages were successful coz of all difference s were sorted out by elders these days small difference, ends up in filing false cases. Plz look at ncrb data how many married men suicide in India coz of marital torture by wife and their home. India is no place for married men.

  • @pillugame1105
    @pillugame1105 3 года назад +5

    So Beautifully explained. If evry1 understands this I'm sure there will be peace in all marriages

  • @1.woerwoer
    @1.woerwoer 7 месяцев назад +2

    Mommies, are married to their sons who never mentally grew up

  • @Aadhi5
    @Aadhi5 3 года назад +33

    A Momma's boy will never give you equal respect...better realise it soon ....there are all kinds of Momma's boy....not necessarily evil.....But still make the wife insecure...bcoz she will nvr evr get her due...period... Momma always comes first....n ...she is nvr wrong...🙄...

  • @agarwalkajol7
    @agarwalkajol7 3 года назад +18

    Going through the Same trauma, one year of marriage n family talks behind my back, tells my husband to not be on speaker when talking to them, emotionally blackmails him etc etc and even after me doing job, doing home chores, cooking, learning their language, but just sharing with him that I am feeling stressed, he doesn’t acknowledge but started confronting and both mil and son are aggressive n asked me to leave my own house 😢 even when I pay half my share that too in a foreign country and sad truth is I am still waiting for that guy because of my 6 years of love & trust that he is not like this and it’s just a phase! Praying that we will be back together someday. Thinking about our beautiful moments and staying positive. Prayers 🙏

    • @ravitejamalisetti813
      @ravitejamalisetti813 3 года назад

      Stay strong

    • @healtheelicious9732
      @healtheelicious9732 3 года назад

      Same situation

    • @furyroad028
      @furyroad028 3 года назад

      Whats your mother tongue and your hubbys mother tongue?

    • @nehasoni8863
      @nehasoni8863 2 года назад

      Mam, that guy will never realize his or his parents mistakes. He will only gas light you. I suggest you move on. Instead of spending life in vain forever with ungrateful person, have the courage to deal with the pain of letting him go. Pain wont last long.

    • @anmolnotani6361
      @anmolnotani6361 2 года назад +1

      Exactly happen with me, i also give my half share earned for them still mil through out of house 5 times in 5 year. His mum came always first and he is not realising his responsibility. I can feel his love also fading away.. its hurt too much

  • @rychartist
    @rychartist Год назад +17

    Love this video, very fair and considerate of everyone in the situation! Nothing wrong with loving your parents but boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, and did I mention boundaries!

    • @wwenewsandtalks6344
      @wwenewsandtalks6344 Год назад +1

      Why all of a sudden there is a need for boundaries when they raised you up, how can you set boundaries with a parents who would die for their kids ? It's like kicking them at their back, ..we need to admit this and I don't mean that husband should not love their wives by saying this ... parents are parent irreplaceable...as a matter of I have seen many divorces with wives but not with parents ,,, even our lawmakers knew about it for ages ....👍

  • @gopal108b5
    @gopal108b5 2 месяца назад +2

    My ex was a mommas boy so had to leave him. He was already divorced for the same reason . Some men never grow up.

  • @BeBeautiful9
    @BeBeautiful9 3 года назад +8

    Hope all Indian Men listen this .. but even they listen nd forget

  • @Amandeepkaur-xy4ne
    @Amandeepkaur-xy4ne 3 года назад +107

    M srry I don't know u but while scrolling RUclips I read your heading I thought of listening to it. And in this entire video u were clearly aware of that who's mistake it is and who is responsible for polluting d relationship. But still in this entire video u r trying to make d women to understand. Practical approach to this is totally different. This kind of atmosphere in the house can make you depressed. When all d time somebody is scolding u and keep telling, u r good for nothing. It will automatically low down your morale. So simply lecturing on it is simply but practical very difficult to live in such environment.

    • @missroshchannel
      @missroshchannel 3 года назад +4

      Exactly you are saying correct

    • @missroshchannel
      @missroshchannel 3 года назад +5

      Highly difficult

    • @sanjeevkushwaha4043
      @sanjeevkushwaha4043 3 года назад +14

      In real life scenerio none of the advice given by relationship councellors will ever works in long run 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @exploreyourinnerworld4318
      @exploreyourinnerworld4318 3 года назад +11

      Yes really difficult i am facing the same problem. Leave the partner with his mother is the only solution in my opinion and get separated

    • @s.d3557
      @s.d3557 3 года назад +7

      @@exploreyourinnerworld4318 I'm doing the same....
      I tried to adjust for 14 long yrs...
      Bt all in vain...
      People really do never change.....

  • @milenamota8794
    @milenamota8794 3 года назад +25

    Thanks a lot sir. Have been going through this situation for the past 8yrs of my married life. As you said one should believe in one self and not let others make you feel inferior is the only way out. And that is the only thought that has kept me going so far.
    Hoping things will change as time passes by.

    • @mlpfamhearts6996
      @mlpfamhearts6996 2 года назад

      I hope ur happier now :(

    • @aim621
      @aim621 Год назад

      Since 19years it's d same wid mamma's boy ,something's never change ,it's our attitude nd way if leaving which matters the most ,i hv gone severe depression bcoz of dis .

    • @sulta55
      @sulta55 10 месяцев назад

      ​@@aim621yea.. no one really cares for a woman except her parents she needs to stop serving useless PPL n focus on herself.. husband is part of her life not her life..

  • @Greens2be
    @Greens2be 2 года назад +2

    What a balanced talk.. I feel virtually supported 😃

  • @sreelekshmy8951
    @sreelekshmy8951 7 месяцев назад +3

    Watching this at 2023 as a victim of this son- mother relationship that destroys my life. Separated from my husband due to these reasons. There was no privacy in our relationship. We discuss things> went on to mother > to his sister > her husband > to his family😢. This is how our personal things go🤦🏻‍♀️ fedup.. Fight... Finally i failed they win🤦🏻‍♀️☹️😢

  • @jayasree6763
    @jayasree6763 3 года назад +23

    I got married in Oct 2020 .My mother in law doesn't want myself to stay with my husband and her intention is that I have to stay with her and serve her family like a slave. Even though my husband works in bank he earns 50k a month he asks me how could we manage our expenses ?. Hardly we were together only for 25 days since our marriage . He doesn't even call me I have to make a call me. He believes whatever his mother says and letting me down whereever

  • @freesoul374
    @freesoul374 3 года назад +28

    My MIL will b d happiest person if me n my husband get divorced. No body from my in-laws side ever call me or talk abt me, it's only me who calls.

    • @ankitaahuja111
      @ankitaahuja111 3 года назад +12

      Stop calling then. Every Relation is a 2 way street.

    • @Mahene6632
      @Mahene6632 3 года назад +5

      Sailing in d same boat... Bt i stopped calling n talking to dem

    • @nuttyadventures3525
      @nuttyadventures3525 3 года назад +2

      Same, I realized it even before my marriage, so I stopped too for initiating.

    • @freesoul374
      @freesoul374 3 года назад

      @@godsknows6510 can understand u dear totally. Bt the strength is in nt letting ur MIL win by getting separated with ur husband. I will NVR let her win. Forget ur MIL and focus solely on ur husband.

    • @freesoul374
      @freesoul374 3 года назад

      @@godsknows6510 if u n ur husband get separated ur MIL will win. Try n reunite with ur husband as u r saying that he is also suffering.

  • @malabadarinath591
    @malabadarinath591 3 года назад +5

    Thank you so much 🙏🙏. Wonderful explanation 👍

  • @gagandeepkaursarna444
    @gagandeepkaursarna444 2 года назад +2

    Lot of information!! Best video on RUclips.
    Pls cover, when husband speaks mother's language and also like 60 years old talks. He has forgotten how to live happily.

  • @venkatalakshmidurgasangeet9262
    @venkatalakshmidurgasangeet9262 3 года назад +11

    MIL interference between husband and wife relationship led to so many problems, one of them include husband wants privacy with his wife but he doesn't make it due to fear of in-laws that results in husband getting close to another woman outside, but he doesn't realize the thing that he is having a beautiful partner in his hands, he finds more privacy outside the house with another woman

    • @pauldirc..
      @pauldirc.. 7 месяцев назад

      Talking about sexual intimacy?

  • @ivrandeepkourisher9430
    @ivrandeepkourisher9430 2 года назад +10

    What ever you said happened in my life and I tolerated everything for the sake of my daughter... but a time comes when you are no longer able to tolerate this ..because it will lead you to suffer from problem of depression..
    If a woman is independent having earning source she can face it ..but if she
    Is not her life is hell on this earth

  • @mohinijain564
    @mohinijain564 3 года назад

    Again very sensible and worthy words. Thanks for this wonderful and helpful content.

  • @utukurinarasimharao8576
    @utukurinarasimharao8576 3 года назад +14

    B'coz of his mom and dad my husband avoids me completely now Iam pregnant and he doesn't even call to me from two weeks..what should I do ?

    • @madlycraving9065
      @madlycraving9065 2 года назад +4

      Divorce him

    • @nehasoni8863
      @nehasoni8863 2 года назад

      Please leave him. He is undeserving.

    • @meghanasugandachar5851
      @meghanasugandachar5851 2 года назад +1

      I was pregnant n had miscarriage still he dint care. He wanted to go to his mother. Wanted me to go to his native though I was mentally n physically weak after miscarriage. Nobody cares.
      If husband is not caring for his own kid it's better to have kids once your partner gets good understanding

    • @nehasoni8863
      @nehasoni8863 2 года назад

      @@meghanasugandachar5851 I am so sorry to hear about it. I hope you are holding up well. Please leave the man. A person who isnt there in tough times, you should waste your rest of the life waiting in hope that he would change. He wont change. Marriage is a partnership. Your husband clearly isnt involved. Take care of your health. All you have is you.

  • @meenakshim4437
    @meenakshim4437 3 года назад +4

    Thank you for changing many lives by your guidance and videos 😇

  • @04wahida
    @04wahida 2 года назад +4

    In India, Marriages should get ban until these Indian parents realize when to stop parenting. Because unwanted interference of in laws simply destroy the marriage, no matter how much love is there between a couple.

  • @hamsalathapremshan6203
    @hamsalathapremshan6203 3 года назад +1

    Wow very good advice for all the girls who r into such problem. Thank you for the advice. Every women face this problem in her husband's house. This is the first video I'm seeing, n I'm impressed by ur advice. Thank you brother.

  • @madhavisharma4796
    @madhavisharma4796 7 месяцев назад +2

    8 mnth of marriage.....nd seriously ..my mather in law beats slapped him infront of me...m helpless...nd surprisingly he said to me..dont react .she can do anything ..if she killed me..i accept it.. because shez my maa......

  • @aparnaMCh
    @aparnaMCh Год назад +2

    I am telling my kids to go out .After graduation i am going to follow the American way.please take appointments.

  • @sujatasahoo6446
    @sujatasahoo6446 2 года назад +5

    My life is more miserable because he has already 4 ladies in his life including his mother and a married sister and all are controlling and he is controlled. I am helpless. Trying since 4 years but unable to come out. I am left alone like a single. Its very painful when you are married but single, alone, depressed. He simply tortures me emotionally simply to make his mother smile.😭😭😭😢😢. And this action makes him feel like a Hero as he feels as he is the best son and brother in this world. He hates any couple and the relationship.

    • @RoamRevel966
      @RoamRevel966 Год назад +2

      @@ManishaThakur-hm4zk Manisha hope you are fine now

    • @anushkc5060
      @anushkc5060 Год назад

      Every male needs to understand the life cycle the position they are in today can turn tables and be on him . ( being daughters father ) . Instead of becoming hero , inspire mother , sister everyone to be financially independent so they don’t have to expect on him and everyone lives good life being busy . This is the best part about western culture .. freedom of speech with financial independence from young age .

  • @KH-qc9rl
    @KH-qc9rl Год назад

    Thank you for this beautiful warm hug of a video ❤

  • @cheezy9541
    @cheezy9541 3 года назад +1

    I wish all the men are sensible like him..
    I wish this video gets a billion views and wherein at least a million gets educated..
    (education in the true sense of the term)
    I wonder how You Tube gets to know what to recommend when..
    You Tube is turning out to be our torch bearer..🙏

    • @niharikavarshney2826
      @niharikavarshney2826 2 года назад

      He is just promoting his business. Solution he has shown will never work.

  • @janoongr1355
    @janoongr1355 3 года назад +14

    Topic of the video is the problem of all the issues I have had so far. As you suggested I have tried to understand their point of view, tried to be perfect, and everything you can name to perfect the relationship. But there was some disconnect and my relationship with my husband kept going down. But then I learnt about narcissism. My MIL is malignant covert narcissist. Everything looks so rosy and godly outside. But there is lot of background division, soul killing, energy sucking happening. After understanding the core of the issue, I am able to analyze better. Thanks for making the video 👍🏻

    • @Prinx0506
      @Prinx0506 3 года назад

      yes .. stay away ffom narcissist ppl... no good in your life , they r worst than terrorists

    • @rashmisamal88
      @rashmisamal88 11 месяцев назад

      An add on she is a slow poison.

  • @victoriad4107
    @victoriad4107 3 года назад +62

    Thank you sir. Can you just tell me, how to get rid of sister- in- law at home or how to ignore all her domination.

    • @StarryKnightBrokenHeart
      @StarryKnightBrokenHeart 3 года назад +2

      😂 haha

    • @sumykm
      @sumykm 3 года назад +30

      I also want to know the solution for this. Sister in law is staying 2 km away from my home. But she talks with my husband everyday and gets updated on happenings in my home. No privacy as a family. My husband takes her thinking and suggestion with more importance. Really pissed off.

    • @darkraigameingdk7738
      @darkraigameingdk7738 3 года назад

      @@sumykm same here....

    • @xyzaaa7716
      @xyzaaa7716 3 года назад +1

      Nuclear family!!!!

    • @aiswaryapv4046
      @aiswaryapv4046 3 года назад +1

      This is universal

  • @shalinithangavel596
    @shalinithangavel596 3 года назад +2

    Worth watching the video you let us know (to think) what is the cause and solution to the problem.. Really thankful for all your videos... Continue doing it..

  • @IslamicHistorySciences
    @IslamicHistorySciences 2 года назад +1

    Great job Thanks

  • @poonamsharma451
    @poonamsharma451 3 года назад +41

    U are always good. Please also cover 2 related topics of, 1. Passive agression from husband or in-laws 2. Home politics from in-laws to leave daughter-in-law out of the 'inner circle'.

    • @gutgram
      @gutgram 2 года назад +1

      Pls do this topic

    • @rashmisamal88
      @rashmisamal88 11 месяцев назад

      @@gutgram yes please add this topic

    • @arpitadasgupta8946
      @arpitadasgupta8946 5 месяцев назад

      Yes add this topic specially the 2nd part

  • @EagleButterfly
    @EagleButterfly 3 года назад +7

    Same problem I faced, I adjusted so much. He shared each and everything to his mom brother.. Physical harassment also

  • @azilaazeez6747
    @azilaazeez6747 2 года назад

    So much of clarity... 😍👌👌👌👌....

  • @arshad5569
    @arshad5569 2 года назад

    No words to say .....simply super...

  • @tanyamudkavi7959
    @tanyamudkavi7959 2 года назад +6

    I had the same constant issue with my ex finace ! Everything I told him or he knew about my life was passed on to his mum...towards the end I found out they would sit and talk about every little thing I said ,and judge me. Even go to the extent of telling on me ,to my parents . Whereas I tried my best to hide any downs and tantrums of his ,from both his and my parents. Being a mommy's boy is great, as long as you know how to prioritise your own wife/ patner and not make her feel as a third person in her own relationship with the guy ! If you make her feel inferior at almost everything she does and make a showbiz out of that , highlighting all her faults... no woman with an option to move out, will stick around. Its humiliating and disrespectful! Such men and their mothers need to be familiarised with the term " boundaries "

  • @kevinstars5502
    @kevinstars5502 2 года назад +6

    I'm living with my husband and in laws and each time I tell him something he screams out for dem to hear and even join with dem n insults me if they call me a bad name he calls me the same name a few days later

  • @rakeshkadulkar5219
    @rakeshkadulkar5219 3 года назад

    Very balanced talk.. Nice

  • @tejj8736
    @tejj8736 3 года назад +1

    Each and every word you say is true.. wish this can be understood by everyone

  • @shamayitaacharya3829
    @shamayitaacharya3829 2 года назад +12

    To get respect people should earn respect first ..
    If mil wants someone to follow orders,why she got her son married.
    A man who cannot stand for his wife’s respect how can he manage the family?
    Mil is ok in her place,she lived her life. If she wants dominance she can dominate her husband,she should not interfere in couple’s life

  • @prateeksha5387
    @prateeksha5387 3 года назад +8

    And you are too handsome . I am adoring you as a younger sister sir..i wish when i grow up i get a husband who is exactly like you in all aspects. Handsome inside out ❤❤

    • @tromboner6061
      @tromboner6061 3 года назад +1

      You sure you adoring him as younger sis?

  • @shreyapatel4893
    @shreyapatel4893 Год назад

    Eye opening video
    Thanks 🙏🏻
    Big help !!

  • @healthyyou9397
    @healthyyou9397 Год назад +2

    That's why I don't prefer living with in laws
    I made it clear before getting married...

  • @kuruvi2000
    @kuruvi2000 3 года назад +20

    പിന്നെ ഇയാൾക്ക് ingane ഒക്കെ പറയാം. Oru ammayi അമ്മയെ sahikkunnathu അത്രക്ക് കഷ്ടമാണ്

  • @abigailxavier7851
    @abigailxavier7851 3 года назад +6

    My Mother in law is very interfering and she evades all our privacy.. since we seprated things are so much beter👍 I still do what I want because our thaughts dont match.

  • @saketjain8443
    @saketjain8443 2 года назад +1

    This is exact story of mine. Thank u for explaining it in a good way.
    From,
    Sony 🙏

  • @Internationalmotivational369
    @Internationalmotivational369 Год назад +2

    It's really difficult,to make people.realize
    The society is drowning and families are dying becoz the couple's don't know how to treat each other ........

  • @ispeakinsilence1670
    @ispeakinsilence1670 3 года назад +32

    Soo relatable, Thanku Sir was really depressed for the same issue and all of sudden the video poped bit relaxing thou 🙏 Pls need more talk about the concern indepth..

  • @mukti641
    @mukti641 3 года назад +6

    Hii. How to deal with abuse relationship. My husband also Mama's boy and my mother-in-law doesn't like me.

  • @anamwaheed6105
    @anamwaheed6105 26 дней назад

    You are always in point.. taking both sides seriously. ❤

  • @monishakartheeban9874
    @monishakartheeban9874 3 года назад +2

    This video is so relieving🙂

  • @aartih8280
    @aartih8280 3 года назад +27

    Love means letting go but MIL wants to rather cling more harder post marriage of her son
    MIL dominates interferes and manipulates
    Husband wants to blindly follow his mom playing dirty games with his wife
    Married life turns into hell when husband and MIL team up against DIL

  • @sushmalokesh7231
    @sushmalokesh7231 3 года назад +10

    Please make a video on how to handle a snooping mother in law...she checks my bedroom in my absence and my husband doesn correct her and she takes advantage of her health and other things

    • @valermathim2776
      @valermathim2776 2 года назад +1

      Omg. Same situation l. I started to lock the door.

  • @generosacoelho7132
    @generosacoelho7132 Год назад

    Well said! Thank you so much for explaining so clearly. 🥰

  • @KT-pi8xc
    @KT-pi8xc 2 года назад +2

    I am crying watching this.......it's like you are talking about my story.

  • @reneedwards1082
    @reneedwards1082 Год назад +4

    Oh wow!! You are incredibly accurate on my marriage, and my over possessive mil and 2 sil, who are so controlling and I am only told of plans after they've been made, 23 yrs of lies, and no respect from my mil, I can't anymore. I'm a Christian married to a non believer so even spiritually we don't share anything. It can get very lonely but he is a good person when he's not verbally abusive. I have two sons and would never do what his mum is doing to me, it's soul crushing and my husband is allowing it? 💓

  • @saumyaagarwal1681
    @saumyaagarwal1681 3 года назад +6

    All 3 have to respect others feelings and not just barge into a couples life. All 3 should be supportive and understanding and not just blindly follow each other

  • @pallavikr3643
    @pallavikr3643 7 месяцев назад +1

    Sir... you are explaining exactly what I suffering .