Hi Friends! For those who are new here and would like some context. Here is a link to the video I mention ruclips.net/video/7LpPto5U2aI/видео.htmlsi=NuIxBY5zRTLM9OKR And to join my 21 Days To A New You Challenge today and jumpstart your goals for 2025. Challenge begins Monday November 18. 1) Get the ebook payhip.com/b/dbCKL 2) Send Proof of payment to preciouskofimindset@gmail.com 3) You will then be invited to join the Precious Kofi Mindset accountability group on Facebook.
You are so real. Some people don’t speak about what you are highlighting in your video. Women always blame divorce on the man being abusive and how they can’t stay in an abusive reship. True, however you have brought a sense of accountability as a woman to look into our psyche and mental behavior in general. I like that cos you are warning us to work on ourselves first before we get married cos it’s a journey to arrive at that stage where you truly know who you are as a human being. Thanks 🙏🏽
Being married, I did all the premarital preparation, read books but speed humps still came. There were times when it was honestly HONESTLY only through desperate and sincere prayer that we made it through instead of spiralling to divorce/ miserable marriage. Whatever your beliefs, the truth is there are many many forces invested in breaking up marriage and sometimes only God stands between you and them. So number 1 advice is take God with you into your marriage. UPDATE: Lord Jesus I just want to pray for the over 900 souls (praise God!) that resonated with your message. Thank you for giving me the courage to speak about you and allow your Holy Spirit to work through me to bring your love to them, the world cries out for you oh Lord! I pray you guide them to John 3:16 and continue to build a relationship with them from there. Amen
@@PreciousKofi thank you! It taught me that I'm not special, challenges can find me too no matter how good the foundation is. But also meant that anyone can get through even the biggest challenges with prayer. It's about choosing to turn from the temptation of ego and pride (pride includes seeing yourself as a victim!) and instead turning to prayer. Will pray for the success of your new relationship as well, but you'll also need to continue the work yourself ❤
🇬🇦 Mbolo /Salama/Sambona/Hi,HalleluYah 🙏🏿 God/YAH The Most High has to be the foundation of your relationship/marriage🙇🏿♂️...evil forces are out there to keep families divided, marriage destroyed and all good relationships broken... Yeshua is our protector🙌🏿..Shalom 🙇🏿♂️
Marriage is of God. As much as people want to dismiss God in everything these days if He is not the foundation then when storms come that house will surely fall apart.
Marriage is obviously of God; if you believe in God and the other person does not, you're almost incompatible. If your unity lacks some of the elements that make marriages work, you will still have issues. It's destined to fail if you two no longer truly love one another or if the other person doesn't want to make it work. God says you can leave for the sake of peace, but you must remain unmarried for as long as your ex-partner is alive.
Piece of advice from a Divorce Attorney:During arguments, it is important for partners to understand that they are fighting or disagreeing about a THING and not each other! There will be a shift once there is that understanding or rememberance.
Men don't feel that way. Usually we find out we're much better off. Men are finding out that love and marriage is too much of a liability with a very low return on investment.
I watched this video alone and when it ended I called my husband to come watch it with me. Thats how much your words resonated with me! It also resonated with my husband and it gave us an opportunity to talk about pertinent issues that without your video, we would not have had the vocab to properly articulate.
37 with two kids, divorced and remarried to my ex-husband haha. We both admit we needed to divorce to be this wonderfully married 2nd time around. For marriage to thrive wisdom and maturity are so needed. Now we thrive because though love drives us, but understanding the business of marriage and how it is an ever evolving project motivates us.
I stayed up last night, no words just tears to God in my balcony and I wake up this morning to find this message. I got the confirmation I need. I’m going to work it out dedicatedly and intentionally. 🥺
This is different. No bitterness talking about a disaolved marrriage, but recognizing fault and sharing lessons that can help othera do better? The world would be a better place if we had more of this. Thanks for sharing your experiences and lessons.
Unmarried, I was once engaged. Pre Marital counseling was my ask. It was the best thing we ever did. He passed away before we married but I'd do it all over again. Secondly, marriage absolutely isn't about love. It's a selfless decision to be a partner. Great content!
Marriage is 80% routine, be responsible and do what you are supposed to do. Be willing to compromise, continuously so, and hope that the next person has the same notion. Live, follow your dreams and live. Dont expect someone to emotionally, financially and psychologically fulfil every-being of you. We were not designed to find everything in one person. Your partner serves a particular role, dont suddenly expect him to be the everything that you expected them to be.
Initially I thought your video couldn't help me because you are divorced (what can she teach me I thought) but I decided to listen anyway to see what you have to say and i am glad i did because you proved me wrong. Thank you as a single man thinking about marriage I appreciate you sharing from your life lessons and experience, blessings to you.
Advice from a divorced person who has healed and is accountable for the part they played in the demise of their marriage is some of the best advice you can get. Advice from married couples who have unhealthy, toxic marriages is most times the worst advice to take.
Married 3 years now, but no baby yet. Premarital counseling and personal counseling before marriage is so critical. It equipped you with tools for conflict resolution, compassion and humility. Marriage is work, but in a passionate project sort of way. I love school, so think of my husband as a PHD. I'm always seeking deeper knowledge, researching, investigating. There is always room for growth, always more to learn, but I am the expert and leading authority on everything about him! When you encounter something you don't know, seek professional help. Switch up therapist for fresh perspectives. Always assume best intentions and approach misunderstandings with curiosity. ❤ love is beautiful. I also reccomend reading All About Love by Belle Hooks
To make your marriage work stop letting the label of marriage/wife be the determining factor for how you treat your husband. To even when you become a mom. Outside people other than a counselor should NEVER be involved in your marriage good or bad. Selfishness and lack of respect for the other will be the downfall if you let it and dont recognize it.
I could have saved myself years of heartache had I listened to this years ago!!! Been married for 12 years now with 2 kids and so much learning and unlearning to do. Thanks for this, You described marriage so beautifully, heard and understood everything!
This is one of the most honest and educative monologue/conversation I've watched on marriage . Thank you for pouring all that wisdom out. What you've been through has definitely refined you. Wishing you well❤.
Every marriage is different because there are 2 unique individuals coming together with so many known and unknown variables. No matter how many books/ seminars/ therapies you attend, your marriage will be UNIQUE.
As a young man in his 20s, I appreciate this advice. I've known that marriage is not about love but more like a partnership. I wash your back you wash mine.
OMG, we are so similar. Same situation, no premarital counseling, thinking I could figure it out on the go, now divorced with 2 kids. But God has been so good through all. Living my best life and excited for marriage in the near future with all the amazing lessons learned. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your insights on marriage. I truly admire the level of accountability you hold regarding both your marriage and divorce. It's refreshing to see how, unlike many women, you didn’t resort to speaking poorly about men or your spouse, but instead focused on your own growth by acknowledging areas where you could have done better. Your self-awareness and maturity are truly inspiring.
You spoke so succinctly even when u thought u were speaking in riddles, I heard and understood everything u were bringing across and love it Continue with the conversations, we love to hear it! ❤❤❤❤❤
@@TheLegend-uq1gz that is why it’s important that you know your partner’s foundational convictions… especially their faith because that is where we get our identity! If that is rooted, yea some things may change but not core beliefs
The key to understanding each other in a marriage is KNOWLEDGE. if you have different perspectives about marriage that means you're going to argue a lot. Find out what does your partner know about marriage, where does he/she take this knowledge about marriage? As married couple you should have the same meaning of concepts. if you have the same meaning then you will be on the same page and create chapters togethers. Have conversation about love, faith and God from the conception point.
My husband and I met when I was 17 and he was 23. We are now 34 and 40. Traditionally engaged at 19 and 25 and moved in together, western engagement at 21 and 27. We had our first duaghter when I was 23, 2nd born at 26 last born at 29. It has been one heck of a journey. 0 infidelity because believe it or not infidelity is not the only cause of marriage difficulties. What has helped us is our personalities and emotional and spiritual maturity and communicating through it all.
I really admire a woman who takes accountability for herself. There’s no blaming or criticizing her EX partner, no excuses, and no complaints about who did what. You've grown so much-thank you for being so open and vulnerable. I have learned so much 🙌🏿🙏
Admire any person, male or female, who take accountability. It takes two person working toward a common goal. Communicating with one another. If one communicates but the other just want it easy, nothing can be done. Also, most people don’t treat as a covenant that it is.
Great video! I married at 23, coming from a single parent home, absent father, etc... and now, currently separated with 3 kids in the mix. I agree with EVERYthing you shared. In retrospect, (and what I would share with my littles) having an awareness of self, knowing what you want and don't want, therapy, therapy, therapy, premarital counseling, compatibility, getting married before 30, and so much more makes or breaks a relationship!
Yes and yes! I think we also overlook the importance of roll models. Not saying we must worship other people’s relationships but just as we have mentors in the professional world, a relationship mentor (a couple that is thriving) is worth having.
I am Christian. Therefore perfect marriage to me is contained in Ephesians 5:21-33 If we use this framework as the foundation upon which we build on, we are at least guaranteed a fighting chance. I absolutely loved this video. It provided great insight. I am 33 years old and on the journey to get married for the first time. I need all the advice I can get.
Keep learning and put God as you are already doing. If you have God in your marriage, you will not go wrong. Listen to Pastor Gbile Akanni and his wife, Sade Akanni - they are a God send - try listening to all their marriage videos; they have great wisdom and insight from God.
Love how you accept and share some of the mistakes you made rather than act like everything was okay. Social media tends to give us an over-exagerated type of self confidence which is not helpful for growth. Thank you for sharing, getting such insights is really helpful get hope I too can also realize in time when making misguided decisions.
Babes, what!!!! I haven't seen you since SABC 2 days. I grew up watching you❤. It's so great to see you after all these years🎉. I never knew you were married, or divorced... But you're so strong ❤. Love you
You described marriage so beautifully in simple terms... most of us want it, however we don't understand what it really means. Requires lots and lots of compromise....sharing finances, making decisions... everything? Yoh haikhona
Remove "compromise, " replace it with "duty, " and watch the magic happen. 1. Duty to each other's dreams and aspirations. 2. Duty to family (a plan in place aligned with a vision for your kids and the future generation), 3. Duty to society (Engage in activities that help communities grow and improve). If you base your base marriage on duty, I hate to repeat this again, but watch how the magic happens when a plan comes together; marriage is beautiful.
@404Learning I get you, however thing is 2 people will not agree to the same thing all the time, hence I say compromise. Sometimes 1 has to let the other get away with something to make it work, otherwise they will both pull to different directions.
@@NanaFlower24@NanaFlower24 Research shows that the top three reasons for divorce are finances, external influences from extended family, and infidelity. The key is that disagreements are bound to happen, and it's important to have a system in place to resolve conflicts. In our marriage, we have found that disagreements are best resolved through logical reasoning and common sense, supported by research, statistics, and advice from successful couples married for over 20 years. After prolonged disagreements, we realized that it was sensible to move away from our families in KZN. It's not just about compromising; it's about using common sense and logical reasoning.
Wow interesting, do you mind if you makes examples of when solving an issue logically cause sometimes people may also disagree on which logic is right .
@@404BusinessDataAndAII'm not even married yet but my relationship got tough there for a few months because of the influence of a family member. I don't even know why this person was meddling in my affairs when we are not even in laws yet. People are brave, I tell you.
I completely agree with everything you sad, in my years of being married I woke up to the fact that my husband is as much human as I am, and we intentionally choose to be together not just married but in this thing together there if and but we are doing this life thing together
I'm a 50yr old divorced and I absolutely love the msg and the lessons. Looking back I realised that I was not ready and did not understand the magnitude of marriage. You are such a sun shine. Stay blessed ❤🤗🌞
Not sure how I bumped into this video, but it's so good listening to semblance of wisdom form a woman.. My 2 cents: The 1st question to ask oneself is Why? Not just why you want marriage, but why marriage exists in the 1st place. I think I should make a video like that myself.. Otherwise, good one!
I am about 8years in it now and I can agree it’s beyond butterflies in the belly… it sure is about choices while in it….Marriage is an unending school, not all can be said because everyone has different experiences and because it’s ongoing. However if adequate *COMMUNICATION* and genuine friendship exists, the marriage will thrive.
I got your riddle Kofi, am 39 and that part of partnership is damn true, we've to get solution the right way, it's not about love really, it might come with it or later...you become me I be you or otherwise we get ourselves into dark side!!!
Hebrews 13:4 teaches us that we are all required to Honour marriage. And i appreciate that with your video that what you have done. Though divorced but you have honoured marraige. what we normally forget in marriage is that we primarily made a covenant with God to commit ourselves to each other as spouses. And on that the day the Lord made us one. So, in marriage we are living out the oneness in reverence to God. It is God who established this union together with the principles of how to practice it. No one should come into marriage with their own principle but we should be prepared to obey those given by the marriage designer. The headship ( husbands) vs submission ( wives) is key. These are equal roles, different but complimentary functionality. Both the spouses should be at work by functioning according to their role. To summarise each role's function: each person prioritises the needs of the other! No room for selfishness! No superiority, No inferiority! It takes hard work. This where the beauty of marriage is. The design of marriage is beuatiful and perfect, we are the ones who mess it up. Loved your video!
I think just living with your actual best friend instead of a man is underrated because I've lived with her for two years and I can very much imagine a long life with her where we go on runs in the park, watch shows after work, travel often, and do chores. We are so complementary I don't know a single man who I would be this happy with and it's rare to find a woman who I'd be that happy with either. Two years and we haven't had one fight because our methods of communication are so clear and apologies happen as needed. I love her lots :)
Before listening to this I was already like ''here we go another divorced lady, who's made a video to discourage others and complain about how marriages don't work'' I've been served my humble pie fresh and hot, I'm glad to hear such positivity it says a lot about you as a person, I'm really hoping you'll be in a healthy, happy and successful marriage!
I’ve never been married but only listening few min in im glad came across the channel. I have a saying “a human will always need another human at some point in their journey of life”. Marriage really needs a lot hey😫😭😤
You don't know how happy i am to see you. I watched everything enoPrecious. I loved Cape Town, because you stayed in Cape Town back then. Wena sana you are the original content create. I remember when your mom was so concerned when you were about to do Precious Africa, that you will be busy sleeping in people's houses 😂😂.
This is the first video of your that I watched. Not even sure how it popped up on my feed. But I just wanted to drop a note to congratulate you on being VERY brave for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences in such a personal way. There are MANY gems that you’ve dropped in this video. You’ve started a conversation that is significant to each and every one of us. I pray that the conversation continues with the greatest of understanding and positivity from those that will engage with you on your channel. Btw: I had what I thought was a good marriage too, but I’m now divorced about 10 years. I don’t think I’ll get married again in this lifetime…..
Another awesome video! It's true-two are better than one. We won't always agree, but that’s how we stretch, grow, and sometimes feel uncomfortable. Walking and working through life together is key. Marriage is a partnership, where two become one, and I strongly advocate for better communication-it's so important. ❤ Keep up the great work with your amazing content!
38 year old me is in the place you were concerning marriage. I knew about premarital counseling, but it got dismissed when I mentioned it, based on the couple I had suggested we go for counseling to. It never got done, and I am paying dearly for this mistake. We haven't gone for a single therapy session in the 9 years we've been married, individually and as a couple. I have seriously considered checking into an institution before, but didn't go through with it. I did opt to be a stay at home mom for a bit, but ended up getting back to work 4 years later. Thank you for sharing lessons from your experience.
@@PreciousKofiYou started young baby girl. I was a *huge fan* of your travelling show ( *Precious Africa* ) years ago. I loved you as well coz you look so much like my cousin and her daughter. ❤❤❤❤❤
You speak so eloquent and you're so very humorous. Your subject is a very important one. Especially “change.” I could listen to you, for ages. Glenford Mwalimu.
Marriage is God concept for preservation of mankind in the world. He constituted it for his will on earth. We need to go back to God for knowledge and understanding for this institution called Marriage. Our knowledge of it comes from society and social media which makes it looks glamorous from the outside. Marriage functions by law because its an institution and bear in mind i didnt say emotions, logic or intelligence but law. What are the laws of marriage? you can only find out from the one who created the institution.
@@PreciousKofi Yup. I think one day on radio they were asking us listeners what movies do we know every word to. And I only had the animations. With Frozen being the first. And Trolls, etc. I blame the kids. But their movies are also fun and keep them quiet so... I'm fine with that
Accidently came across you, Wow! Proud of You and your wisdom chat. Love your angle of approach to marriage and divorce. I am a divorcee myself with now 4 adult children. I certainly will share. Keep looking beautiful, and may God grant you the desires of your heart moving forward. ❤🙏
Funny thing is when u do the premarital counselling, pray and do all these things! Then they suddenly tell u after almost 20 yrs- they no longer love u! U suggest therapy and help from church but later find out about the many sidechicks ... u can prepare as much as u can but at the end of the day... life is life! Trust God to help u with the strength and courage to keep going!!!
Do you baby girl and forget about marriage and relationships for a while. Go through your healing journey and be true to it. Focus on the two beautiful blessings you are raising and let love find you. The most beautiful relationships are normally the ones that find you while you weren't even looking for one. Take it easy on yourself and God bless❤
@takemypainaway9517 true, love comes and go, commitment is what keeps you together. That's why some cultures arrange marriage because they know that loved is not an ever lasting thing. Heard of the saying, marry your best friend
I absolutely LOVED this! Such an important topic that doesn’t get talked about enough. A lot of us love the idea of marriage, but have not took the time to learn and understand the meaning of a marriage or how to show up in a marriage.
I remember walking in Joburg and SOMEONE said: ARE YOU PRECIOUS KOFI....I had my FRO out like you did....AND OF COURSE I WAS SOOOO FLATTERED and i didn't wanna disappoint them so i SAID YES and quickly smiled and went because i didn't want them to see through my LIE😊🤭 Jesus, THIS is my confession 😂😂😂😂😂
The spirit of Partnership and over commuincation is key. Great advice along with using your imagination to assist in creating a secure fufilling relationship. Leaving love on the side to choose a great life partner might be brilliant. thanks. Love is present but dont let it dominat in your choice. Let getting along in harmony be the north star.
Lmao that small pause when you thought about the price of therapy vs just posting this video killed me 😂😂😂. That’s me anytime I see the price of therapy. This topic is so necessary and I’m glad you going to do a whole series on relationships. I’m 32 and I feel like I’ve been terrible at relationships just because of the number of unsuccessful relationships I’ve had at my big age 😂. What I realised my biggest mistake was never taking accountability on how I contributed to the failure of relationships. My biggest struggle is communicating my needs, wants and expectations which I now realised stems from my childhood. I’m trying to work on this but I still struggle so much even in my current relationship so I would appreciate advice on how to be a better/more effective communicator. Side Note: On the next video can you please try preparing notes/ talking points before hand so that it’s easier to follow the things you saying. Otherwise thank you so much for the content ❤
I looked for your comment so that I can thank you for your advice. I’m now preparing notes and are able to gather my thoughts easier when recording! Thank you so much for your help!
I think you have learned a lot your experience really refined you not everyone has the ability to be so humble and reflect like you wow big ups to you big sis
Thank you so much for sharing your life experience. I love your personality and charisma😂. It is a message in season, these young ladies are showing us flames out here😢, they DO NOT listen! Thanks again for being accountable. Much love❤
When i look at the number of times i wanted to walk away, im so grateful i stuck it out because what did i mean, i needed to understand what its like to choose the same person over and over again,
@@gugulethu4155Women aren’t just quick to quit. We try everything before throwing the towel. Men on the other hand refuse to seek help and wonder why 70-90% of marriages are ended by women.
@@gugulethu4155Women aren’t just quick to quit. We try everything before throwing the towel. Men on the other hand refuse to seek help and wonder why 70-90% of marriages are ended by women.
Most people go into marriage without planning ,counselling and settling lots of issues.when they enter into marriage this issues come up and they are clueless on how to solve them.Thanks for your advice
This was a scary video to watch. I’ve never really thought about the seriousness of marriage before, and this video just opened a whole new outlook on the topic. Despite the anxiety this video cause me, I’m grateful for the awakening. Thank you God bless 🙏
Hi Friends! For those who are new here and would like some context. Here is a link to the video I mention ruclips.net/video/7LpPto5U2aI/видео.htmlsi=NuIxBY5zRTLM9OKR
And to join my 21 Days To A New You Challenge today and jumpstart your goals for 2025. Challenge begins Monday November 18.
1) Get the ebook payhip.com/b/dbCKL
2) Send Proof of payment to preciouskofimindset@gmail.com
3) You will then be invited to join the Precious Kofi Mindset accountability group on Facebook.
Thank you 🤩
I'm new....u just gained a follower. I love love you😂
Yhoo, this is sad news. I didn't know that you have divorced Precious. 💔
All the best in your endeavours ❤
You are so real. Some people don’t speak about what you are highlighting in your video. Women always blame divorce on the man being abusive and how they can’t stay in an abusive reship. True, however you have brought a sense of accountability as a woman to look into our psyche and mental behavior in general. I like that cos you are warning us to work on ourselves first before we get married cos it’s a journey to arrive at that stage where you truly know who you are as a human being. Thanks 🙏🏽
Your very informative and funny..😂
Being married, I did all the premarital preparation, read books but speed humps still came. There were times when it was honestly HONESTLY only through desperate and sincere prayer that we made it through instead of spiralling to divorce/ miserable marriage. Whatever your beliefs, the truth is there are many many forces invested in breaking up marriage and sometimes only God stands between you and them. So number 1 advice is take God with you into your marriage.
UPDATE: Lord Jesus I just want to pray for the over 900 souls (praise God!) that resonated with your message. Thank you for giving me the courage to speak about you and allow your Holy Spirit to work through me to bring your love to them, the world cries out for you oh Lord!
I pray you guide them to John 3:16 and continue to build a relationship with them from there.
Amen
Amen! So glad you never gave up ❤
@@PreciousKofi thank you! It taught me that I'm not special, challenges can find me too no matter how good the foundation is. But also meant that anyone can get through even the biggest challenges with prayer. It's about choosing to turn from the temptation of ego and pride (pride includes seeing yourself as a victim!) and instead turning to prayer.
Will pray for the success of your new relationship as well, but you'll also need to continue the work yourself ❤
Amen 🙏
🇬🇦 Mbolo /Salama/Sambona/Hi,HalleluYah 🙏🏿 God/YAH The Most High has to be the foundation of your relationship/marriage🙇🏿♂️...evil forces are out there to keep families divided, marriage destroyed and all good relationships broken... Yeshua is our protector🙌🏿..Shalom 🙇🏿♂️
WHEEWW, a gust of wind came through this place cause you said nothing but the truth!
Marriage is of God. As much as people want to dismiss God in everything these days if He is not the foundation then when storms come that house will surely fall apart.
❤❤❤❤
God bless you Sir 🙏
Marriage is obviously of God; if you believe in God and the other person does not, you're almost incompatible. If your unity lacks some of the elements that make marriages work, you will still have issues. It's destined to fail if you two no longer truly love one another or if the other person doesn't want to make it work. God says you can leave for the sake of peace, but you must remain unmarried for as long as your ex-partner is alive.
Agreed. I only understood that recently. If God is not in a marriage (both man and women must be believers), then marriage will not last.
What about those who don't believe in God yet they are married and happy?
@@brightonkwenzakwenkosimoli4656 not believing in God but wanting the benefits of something that originated from Him
Piece of advice from a Divorce Attorney:During arguments, it is important for partners to understand that they are fighting or disagreeing about a THING and not each other! There will be a shift once there is that understanding or rememberance.
Funny how we understand marriage so well only after we're divorced. Marriage is beautiful when done right.
How do, you do it right?
Because people focused on the wrong things and are mostly selfish until they divorce or lose that amazing person.
@@muntangahamahuwahamalambo1539 don't pick a partner for yourself, let God direct you and keep him at the centre of the marriage
Men don't feel that way. Usually we find out we're much better off. Men are finding out that love and marriage is too much of a liability with a very low return on investment.
@@ITISKONY❤❤❤❤
I watched this video alone and when it ended I called my husband to come watch it with me. Thats how much your words resonated with me! It also resonated with my husband and it gave us an opportunity to talk about pertinent issues that without your video, we would not have had the vocab to properly articulate.
Holy moly! If I never make a video again, this comment of yours is enough for me. It is answer to a prayer. Thank you so much❤️
Amen!
37 with two kids, divorced and remarried to my ex-husband haha. We both admit we needed to divorce to be this wonderfully married 2nd time around. For marriage to thrive wisdom and maturity are so needed. Now we thrive because though love drives us, but understanding the business of marriage and how it is an ever evolving project motivates us.
❤❤❤
You're lucky. My ex of 10 years moved on after 6 months and is proposing to his new gf 😂.
Why do I now feel like second marriages don’t last
@kylieking8163 not always my friend was married for 20 years, but it was abusive, so she got divorced, now in her second marriage married for 10 years
@@BMN545 Congratulations my friend! I’m so happy for the both of you ❤️
There is so much personal accountability, healing and great teaching in this video. Well done you; share more.
Thank you 🙏🏿
Amen
❤❤❤❤
I stayed up last night, no words just tears to God in my balcony and I wake up this morning to find this message. I got the confirmation I need. I’m going to work it out dedicatedly and intentionally. 🥺
praying for you, God is in it with you, He sees your heart and will help you and guide you...
Amen❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Praying for you sis❤
@@mamoketemokala3678 Thank You so much, I appreciate that! ❤️❤️
@@Dee-ib6hu Amen, thank you so much, i appreciate this. ❤️
This is different. No bitterness talking about a disaolved marrriage, but recognizing fault and sharing lessons that can help othera do better? The world would be a better place if we had more of this. Thanks for sharing your experiences and lessons.
This is beautiful. But there's also no shame in sharing experiences, especially if abuse was involved.
Very different. Really appreciate her insights 💕
Unmarried, I was once engaged. Pre Marital counseling was my ask. It was the best thing we ever did. He passed away before we married but I'd do it all over again. Secondly, marriage absolutely isn't about love. It's a selfless decision to be a partner. Great content!
So very sorry for your loss!🙏🙏
I'm so sorry for your loss Maa❤❤
It's refreshing to listen to a divorced lady talking about divorce and marriage that way
I wish you well next time. Your energy is great!
Marriage is 80% routine, be responsible and do what you are supposed to do. Be willing to compromise, continuously so, and hope that the next person has the same notion. Live, follow your dreams and live. Dont expect someone to emotionally, financially and psychologically fulfil every-being of you. We were not designed to find everything in one person. Your partner serves a particular role, dont suddenly expect him to be the everything that you expected them to be.
Your analysis is brilliant. I have the same philosophy about marriage. We have been married for 21 years now and happy. Thanks
Brilliant
Thank you for this ❤
Evil people do exist, many people marry them out of being tricked.
@msliberated3899 Or they knew who the person is and still went ahead to marry them, in the hope they will change.
It's so encouraging that so many people are pointing to God in this comment section...
Initially I thought your video couldn't help me because you are divorced (what can she teach me I thought) but I decided to listen anyway to see what you have to say and i am glad i did because you proved me wrong. Thank you as a single man thinking about marriage I appreciate you sharing from your life lessons and experience, blessings to you.
Advice from a divorced person who has healed and is accountable for the part they played in the demise of their marriage is some of the best advice you can get.
Advice from married couples who have unhealthy, toxic marriages is most times the worst advice to take.
Amen!
@@UniquePathWellness😂😂😂😂😂I agree.
👀🔥✝️
Married 3 years now, but no baby yet. Premarital counseling and personal counseling before marriage is so critical. It equipped you with tools for conflict resolution, compassion and humility. Marriage is work, but in a passionate project sort of way. I love school, so think of my husband as a PHD. I'm always seeking deeper knowledge, researching, investigating. There is always room for growth, always more to learn, but I am the expert and leading authority on everything about him! When you encounter something you don't know, seek professional help. Switch up therapist for fresh perspectives. Always assume best intentions and approach misunderstandings with curiosity. ❤ love is beautiful. I also reccomend reading All About Love by Belle Hooks
THIS❤️Thank you so very much for sharing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Excellent summary!!!!!!
To make your marriage work stop letting the label of marriage/wife be the determining factor for how you treat your husband. To even when you become a mom. Outside people other than a counselor should NEVER be involved in your marriage good or bad. Selfishness and lack of respect for the other will be the downfall if you let it and dont recognize it.
I could have saved myself years of heartache had I listened to this years ago!!! Been married for 12 years now with 2 kids and so much learning and unlearning to do. Thanks for this, You described marriage so beautifully, heard and understood everything!
@@silindilembongwa8379 now that we know better, we will do better ❤️
❤❤
This is one of the most honest and educative monologue/conversation I've watched on marriage . Thank you for pouring all that wisdom out. What you've been through has definitely refined you. Wishing you well❤.
Every marriage is different because there are 2 unique individuals coming together with so many known and unknown variables. No matter how many books/ seminars/ therapies you attend, your marriage will be UNIQUE.
As a young man in his 20s, I appreciate this advice. I've known that marriage is not about love but more like a partnership. I wash your back you wash mine.
Thanks for sharing!❤️
Marriage for a young man is a business contract my dude..., unless what's yours is yours and what's hers is hers typa deal
I don't appreciate you lying about your age 😭 I know a 25 year old when I see one 😂😂😍😍 you are so gorgeous, I love your energy and learned so much ❤️
Hehehe! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
She is so interesting to listen to, the way she presents her message, and takes responsibility. 😅
OMG, we are so similar. Same situation, no premarital counseling, thinking I could figure it out on the go, now divorced with 2 kids. But God has been so good through all. Living my best life and excited for marriage in the near future with all the amazing lessons learned. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your insights on marriage. I truly admire the level of accountability you hold regarding both your marriage and divorce. It's refreshing to see how, unlike many women, you didn’t resort to speaking poorly about men or your spouse, but instead focused on your own growth by acknowledging areas where you could have done better. Your self-awareness and maturity are truly inspiring.
Communication, honesty and selflessness are the key ingredients of my marriage. It took time to get to that point...so i can say im happily married
It is evident you have done a lot of internal work and have grown and healed. I pray a partner of like maturity finds you ❤
Amen❤️
I'm here whenever you are ready my lady
@@zamikhayamoni3027 😂😂
You spoke so succinctly even when u thought u were speaking in riddles, I heard and understood everything u were bringing across and love it
Continue with the conversations, we love to hear it! ❤❤❤❤❤
I'm so glad!The conversation will continue!
The main thing is that people should have the same worldview on important things… the bible says “can two walk together unless they agree”.
Preach!!!❤
Important
@@Living_theFaith along the line, one of them may change their views.
@@TheLegend-uq1gz that is why it’s important that you know your partner’s foundational convictions… especially their faith because that is where we get our identity! If that is rooted, yea some things may change but not core beliefs
Equally yoked
The key to understanding each other in a marriage is KNOWLEDGE. if you have different perspectives about marriage that means you're going to argue a lot. Find out what does your partner know about marriage, where does he/she take this knowledge about marriage? As married couple you should have the same meaning of concepts. if you have the same meaning then you will be on the same page and create chapters togethers. Have conversation about love, faith and God from the conception point.
Love this! Thank you so much for sharing ❤
great comment!
My husband and I met when I was 17 and he was 23. We are now 34 and 40. Traditionally engaged at 19 and 25 and moved in together, western engagement at 21 and 27. We had our first duaghter when I was 23, 2nd born at 26 last born at 29. It has been one heck of a journey. 0 infidelity because believe it or not infidelity is not the only cause of marriage difficulties. What has helped us is our personalities and emotional and spiritual maturity and communicating through it all.
I really admire a woman who takes accountability for herself. There’s no blaming or criticizing her EX partner, no excuses, and no complaints about who did what. You've grown so much-thank you for being so open and vulnerable. I have learned so much 🙌🏿🙏
Her content is very refreshing and digestible ❤.
Yess! Totally agree!
Admire any person, male or female, who take accountability. It takes two person working toward a common goal. Communicating with one another. If one communicates but the other just want it easy, nothing can be done. Also, most people don’t treat as a covenant that it is.
Great video! I married at 23, coming from a single parent home, absent father, etc... and now, currently separated with 3 kids in the mix. I agree with EVERYthing you shared. In retrospect, (and what I would share with my littles) having an awareness of self, knowing what you want and don't want, therapy, therapy, therapy, premarital counseling, compatibility, getting married before 30, and so much more makes or breaks a relationship!
Yes and yes! I think we also overlook the importance of roll models. Not saying we must worship other people’s relationships but just as we have mentors in the professional world, a relationship mentor (a couple that is thriving) is worth having.
This is so refreshing !
Accountability, transparency and wisdom!
Thank you!
I am Christian. Therefore perfect marriage to me is contained in Ephesians 5:21-33
If we use this framework as the foundation upon which we build on, we are at least guaranteed a fighting chance.
I absolutely loved this video. It provided great insight. I am 33 years old and on the journey to get married for the first time. I need all the advice I can get.
Keep learning and put God as you are already doing. If you have God in your marriage, you will not go wrong. Listen to Pastor Gbile Akanni and his wife, Sade Akanni - they are a God send - try listening to all their marriage videos; they have great wisdom and insight from God.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@hildaforsythe Care to share the joke.
Bra !! I love you😂😂.. keep doing more of these videos.. you're authentic and hilarious.
I appreciate that❤️❤️❤️
Love how you accept and share some of the mistakes you made rather than act like everything was okay. Social media tends to give us an over-exagerated type of self confidence which is not helpful for growth. Thank you for sharing, getting such insights is really helpful get hope I too can also realize in time when making misguided decisions.
Omg i grew up watching you. You inspired me to go natural! So glad i found your channel. More blessings to you Mama ❤
Thanks for your honesty and transparency.. I will send this to my wife ❤
Babes, what!!!! I haven't seen you since SABC 2 days. I grew up watching you❤. It's so great to see you after all these years🎉. I never knew you were married, or divorced... But you're so strong ❤. Love you
she got married after her series
You described marriage so beautifully in simple terms... most of us want it, however we don't understand what it really means. Requires lots and lots of compromise....sharing finances, making decisions... everything? Yoh haikhona
Remove "compromise, " replace it with "duty, " and watch the magic happen. 1. Duty to each other's dreams and aspirations. 2. Duty to family (a plan in place aligned with a vision for your kids and the future generation), 3. Duty to society (Engage in activities that help communities grow and improve). If you base your base marriage on duty, I hate to repeat this again, but watch how the magic happens when a plan comes together; marriage is beautiful.
@404Learning I get you, however thing is 2 people will not agree to the same thing all the time, hence I say compromise. Sometimes 1 has to let the other get away with something to make it work, otherwise they will both pull to different directions.
@@NanaFlower24@NanaFlower24 Research shows that the top three reasons for divorce are finances, external influences from extended family, and infidelity. The key is that disagreements are bound to happen, and it's important to have a system in place to resolve conflicts. In our marriage, we have found that disagreements are best resolved through logical reasoning and common sense, supported by research, statistics, and advice from successful couples married for over 20 years. After prolonged disagreements, we realized that it was sensible to move away from our families in KZN. It's not just about compromising; it's about using common sense and logical reasoning.
Wow interesting, do you mind if you makes examples of when solving an issue logically cause sometimes people may also disagree on which logic is right .
@@404BusinessDataAndAII'm not even married yet but my relationship got tough there for a few months because of the influence of a family member. I don't even know why this person was meddling in my affairs when we are not even in laws yet. People are brave, I tell you.
I completely agree with everything you sad, in my years of being married I woke up to the fact that my husband is as much human as I am, and we intentionally choose to be together not just married but in this thing together there if and but we are doing this life thing together
Oh that's powerful. There is definitely a difference between choosing to be together vs. choosing to stay married.
@@nonimbeki9215 Amen!!!!
@PreciousKofi Ulundi is also here for you, ntombi ❤❤
Awesome self-reflection and advice! You are spot on. Marriage is about duty to the union above everything else.
I'm a 50yr old divorced and I absolutely love the msg and the lessons. Looking back I realised that I was not ready and did not understand the magnitude of marriage. You are such a sun shine. Stay blessed ❤🤗🌞
We live and learn:) thank you so much for being here and for watching!
I grew up watching and looking up to you on Precious Africa.I love you so much❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
Yep
❤❤❤❤this is always so beautiful to hear! And thank you for being here and subscribing!
The way she made me love our continent and travelling.
I knew I knew her form somewhere - she's still cute!
Not sure how I bumped into this video, but it's so good listening to semblance of wisdom form a woman..
My 2 cents: The 1st question to ask oneself is Why? Not just why you want marriage, but why marriage exists in the 1st place.
I think I should make a video like that myself..
Otherwise, good one!
I am about 8years in it now and I can agree it’s beyond butterflies in the belly… it sure is about choices while in it….Marriage is an unending school, not all can be said because everyone has different experiences and because it’s ongoing. However if adequate *COMMUNICATION* and genuine friendship exists, the marriage will thrive.
Thanks for your honesty and maturity in giving real advice.
Thank you for this message! I’m soon to be married and it seems like Jesus is speaking through you to speak to me.
I got your riddle Kofi, am 39 and that part of partnership is damn true, we've to get solution the right way, it's not about love really, it might come with it or later...you become me I be you or otherwise we get ourselves into dark side!!!
Hebrews 13:4 teaches us that we are all required to Honour marriage. And i appreciate that with your video that what you have done. Though divorced but you have honoured marraige.
what we normally forget in marriage is that we primarily made a covenant with God to commit ourselves to each other as spouses. And on that the day the Lord made us one. So, in marriage we are living out the oneness in reverence to God. It is God who established this union together with the principles of how to practice it. No one should come into marriage with their own principle but we should be prepared to obey those given by the marriage designer.
The headship ( husbands) vs submission ( wives) is key. These are equal roles, different but complimentary functionality. Both the spouses should be at work by functioning according to their role.
To summarise each role's function: each person prioritises the needs of the other! No room for selfishness! No superiority, No inferiority! It takes hard work.
This where the beauty of marriage is. The design of marriage is beuatiful and perfect, we are the ones who mess it up.
Loved your video!
Wow... The best words I've heard today... You've changed how I thought about marriage. Noone has ever said this to me! Thank u
Beautiful,well spoken,funny, accountable and wise! really really attractive
I think just living with your actual best friend instead of a man is underrated because I've lived with her for two years and I can very much imagine a long life with her where we go on runs in the park, watch shows after work, travel often, and do chores. We are so complementary I don't know a single man who I would be this happy with and it's rare to find a woman who I'd be that happy with either. Two years and we haven't had one fight because our methods of communication are so clear and apologies happen as needed. I love her lots :)
I like that you take responsibility for your mistakes. May God bless you with a great marriage in future 🙏🏾
Before listening to this I was already like ''here we go another divorced lady, who's made a video to discourage others and complain about how marriages don't work'' I've been served my humble pie fresh and hot, I'm glad to hear such positivity it says a lot about you as a person, I'm really hoping you'll be in a healthy, happy and successful marriage!
Thank you for being open minded enough to listen ❤️
I’ve never been married but only listening few min in im glad came across the channel.
I have a saying “a human will always need another human at some point in their journey of life”. Marriage really needs a lot hey😫😭😤
You don't know how happy i am to see you. I watched everything enoPrecious. I loved Cape Town, because you stayed in Cape Town back then. Wena sana you are the original content create. I remember when your mom was so concerned when you were about to do Precious Africa, that you will be busy sleeping in people's houses 😂😂.
🤭 sleeping in other people’s houses is still my favourite part of traveling!
Mami I'll be 38 in a few days, I've been married 6 years now, with two kids... thank you for your vulnerability and advice, be strong ❤
Thank you so much!
This is the first video of your that I watched. Not even sure how it popped up on my feed. But I just wanted to drop a note to congratulate you on being VERY brave for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences in such a personal way. There are MANY gems that you’ve dropped in this video. You’ve started a conversation that is significant to each and every one of us. I pray that the conversation continues with the greatest of understanding and positivity from those that will engage with you on your channel. Btw: I had what I thought was a good marriage too, but I’m now divorced about 10 years. I don’t think I’ll get married again in this lifetime…..
Thank you so much for your comment and for watching ❤️
She’s so beautiful
Another awesome video! It's true-two are better than one. We won't always agree, but that’s how we stretch, grow, and sometimes feel uncomfortable. Walking and working through life together is key. Marriage is a partnership, where two become one, and I strongly advocate for better communication-it's so important. ❤ Keep up the great work with your amazing content!
Amen!!!!❤️
38 year old me is in the place you were concerning marriage. I knew about premarital counseling, but it got dismissed when I mentioned it, based on the couple I had suggested we go for counseling to. It never got done, and I am paying dearly for this mistake. We haven't gone for a single therapy session in the 9 years we've been married, individually and as a couple. I have seriously considered checking into an institution before, but didn't go through with it. I did opt to be a stay at home mom for a bit, but ended up getting back to work 4 years later. Thank you for sharing lessons from your experience.
Off topic but you are such a great communicator ❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤thank you!
Right!!!❤❤❤
@@PreciousKofiYou started young baby girl. I was a *huge fan* of your travelling show ( *Precious Africa* ) years ago. I loved you as well coz you look so much like my cousin and her daughter. ❤❤❤❤❤
I feel like she just didn't speak what you wanted to hear ... otherwise she was on point to learn from
I grew up watching you on TV.... Keeping it real with Precious💯💯📺You are still beautiful.
What was she on? Channel name?
I’m excited to see your future videos! I can already tell I’ll learn a lot from you.
You speak so eloquent and you're so very humorous. Your subject is a very important one. Especially “change.” I could listen to you, for ages. Glenford Mwalimu.
Marriage is God concept for preservation of mankind in the world. He constituted it for his will on earth. We need to go back to God for knowledge and understanding for this institution called Marriage. Our knowledge of it comes from society and social media which makes it looks glamorous from the outside. Marriage functions by law because its an institution and bear in mind i didnt say emotions, logic or intelligence but law. What are the laws of marriage? you can only find out from the one who created the institution.
True, marriage is very spiritual ❤
Spot on my brother👌🏽
This.... This should be the only response to the question of how we should tackle anything in this world...
We give God all the glory for this comment,
Sounds like one of Myles Monroe’s preachings.
Nice one.
girl!!!! i haven't seen you in ages!!! i was at SABC i meet you and watched your shows when we were kids
Lol, I love the "love is an open door" part. You are such a parent. Haha!
🤭 you know how these kids watch the same movies and songs get stuck in your head!
@@PreciousKofi Yup. I think one day on radio they were asking us listeners what movies do we know every word to. And I only had the animations. With Frozen being the first. And Trolls, etc. I blame the kids. But their movies are also fun and keep them quiet so... I'm fine with that
Thank you so much for the wisdom and sincere reflection. We are learning.
- A young man in his early 20s
Accidently came across you, Wow! Proud of You and your wisdom chat. Love your angle of approach to marriage and divorce. I am a divorcee myself with now 4 adult children. I certainly will share. Keep looking beautiful, and may God grant you the desires of your heart moving forward. ❤🙏
My love to your and your 4 kiddos ❤
Funny thing is when u do the premarital counselling, pray and do all these things! Then they suddenly tell u after almost 20 yrs- they no longer love u! U suggest therapy and help from church but later find out about the many sidechicks ... u can prepare as much as u can but at the end of the day... life is life! Trust God to help u with the strength and courage to keep going!!!
Do you baby girl and forget about marriage and relationships for a while. Go through your healing journey and be true to it. Focus on the two beautiful blessings you are raising and let love find you. The most beautiful relationships are normally the ones that find you while you weren't even looking for one. Take it easy on yourself and God bless❤
Just came across your channel. Very personable, helpful and informative advice! Greetings from UK!
There's no way you're 37! You look so young ❤
37 is young
37 is young come on.
She look like her age.
She looks in her early thirties not late thirties 😅😍
She looks 30
So good to see you ❤❤
You are 100% right, marriage is not about love but commitment to each other and the kids if any.
Really? Not about love at all?
@takemypainaway9517 true, love comes and go, commitment is what keeps you together. That's why some cultures arrange marriage because they know that loved is not an ever lasting thing. Heard of the saying, marry your best friend
Amen
@@raneicenewmesparks can you give me an example of a husband caring for his wife? Not loving her but caring for her.
@@takemypainaway9517love only doesn't keep a marriage together.
“Your spouse is reacting to your assumptions of who YOU think they are.”
!!!
I absolutely LOVED this! Such an important topic that doesn’t get talked about enough. A lot of us love the idea of marriage, but have not took the time to learn and understand the meaning of a marriage or how to show up in a marriage.
Precisely!
I remember walking in Joburg and SOMEONE said: ARE YOU PRECIOUS KOFI....I had my FRO out like you did....AND OF COURSE I WAS SOOOO FLATTERED and i didn't wanna disappoint them so i SAID YES and quickly smiled and went because i didn't want them to see through my LIE😊🤭
Jesus, THIS is my confession 😂😂😂😂😂
And niyafana
When they are asked,'Which celebrities did you meet?' they say Precious Kofi. 😂
So many gems dropped here. I need to rewatch with a notebook. Thank you.
You made me love natural hair from a very young age ❤I decided to be natural since then
Makes me so happy to hear ❤
Thank you for such a heartwarming video. Ego-weak is the main destroyer of any relationship.
Oh my goodness,so much to learn and unlearn. Appreciated.
You're adorable. You just gained a follower.🤗
The spirit of Partnership and over commuincation is key. Great advice along with using your imagination to assist in creating a secure fufilling relationship. Leaving love on the side to choose a great life partner might be brilliant. thanks. Love is present but dont let it dominat in your choice. Let getting along in harmony be the north star.
Premarital counselling! Thanks for mentioning that 😊.
I totally recommend! It helped I and my husband.
I love your authenticity, I feel like we are having a conversation one on one... Thank you very much for the video
I love hearing that! Thank you ❤️
Lmao that small pause when you thought about the price of therapy vs just posting this video killed me 😂😂😂. That’s me anytime I see the price of therapy.
This topic is so necessary and I’m glad you going to do a whole series on relationships.
I’m 32 and I feel like I’ve been terrible at relationships just because of the number of unsuccessful relationships I’ve had at my big age 😂. What I realised my biggest mistake was never taking accountability on how I contributed to the failure of relationships. My biggest struggle is communicating my needs, wants and expectations which I now realised stems from my childhood. I’m trying to work on this but I still struggle so much even in my current relationship so I would appreciate advice on how to be a better/more effective communicator.
Side Note: On the next video can you please try preparing notes/ talking points before hand so that it’s easier to follow the things you saying. Otherwise thank you so much for the content ❤
I can’t thank you enough all that you’ve written! And I promise to take the advice given! Thank you so much for sharing with us❤️
did i write this comment because girl same !!!!!
I agree
I looked for your comment so that I can thank you for your advice. I’m now preparing notes and are able to gather my thoughts easier when recording! Thank you so much for your help!
I love how you have grown and allowed yourself to share your self growth with us. Thank you kindly ❤
You are so welcome❤️
This information is gold. Subscribed!!
I have realised relationships are valued and analysed more accurately in retrospect. It’s important to enjoy every moment. Best wishes everyone
So much wisdom up in here! 🎊
I think you have learned a lot your experience really refined you not everyone has the ability to be so humble and reflect like you wow big ups to you big sis
Oh precious 😍 its great seeing your video. Thank you for the advice. I recently got married. You've made so many valid points. ❤
Congratulations to you both ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your life experience. I love your personality and charisma😂. It is a message in season, these young ladies are showing us flames out here😢, they DO NOT listen! Thanks again for being accountable. Much love❤
Accountability on both sides. That’s the magic
When i look at the number of times i wanted to walk away, im so grateful i stuck it out because what did i mean, i needed to understand what its like to choose the same person over and over again,
Like your comment....seem these days most people are quick to quit😢
Right! Commitment ❤
@@gugulethu4155Women aren’t just quick to quit. We try everything before throwing the towel. Men on the other hand refuse to seek help and wonder why 70-90% of marriages are ended by women.
@@gugulethu4155Women aren’t just quick to quit. We try everything before throwing the towel. Men on the other hand refuse to seek help and wonder why 70-90% of marriages are ended by women.
@@happilydivorced3235 I hear you sisi wam
Precious, I can relate with everything you've said on this video, and i mean EVERYTHING🙏
Thank you so much for watching and hearing. All my love on your life’s journey!
I knew I have seen this BEAUTIFUL face before on TV and on magazine's🥺🥺 !! I'm a new subbie now 😂😂
@@yourgirrlll9975 thank you for joining the family ❤️
Most people go into marriage without planning ,counselling and settling lots of issues.when they enter into marriage this issues come up and they are clueless on how to solve them.Thanks for your advice
This was a scary video to watch. I’ve never really thought about the seriousness of marriage before, and this video just opened a whole new outlook on the topic. Despite the anxiety this video cause me, I’m grateful for the awakening. Thank you God bless 🙏
I so appreciate your comment! And thank you so much for watching ❤️
you are dope, intelligent, wise and a good human being. This message is complete for me and others who want to do good in married life.