This was absolutely BRILLIANT Karolina! Erudite, interesting and so, so on point! We women judge each other so cruelly. We are brutal to each other. We bully each other. We say the most hurtful things to each other! Why? Because you aren't whatever the hell the definition of beauty is this month! It's certainly not a new thing. We've always been that way. And will continue to be so as long as we judge each other by looks alone. I'm old(ish) and I weep for women today. We had each other, tv and fashion mags to judge each other about. Now, women have the entire gawddamn WORLD judging them. It's impossible! I'm a child of the 70's, and we eschewed make-up, had loooong hair, wore androgenous clothing (jeans were a must) or anything from super-mini to maxi skirts. Cotton & linen were big, but so was suede. I wore only mascara. Maybe, on a date~some (blue) eyeshadow and blush. We hippies embraced the natural look. But still there was judgement! *sigh* Hello 👋 👋 from Jenn in Canada 🇨🇦 🇨🇦 🇨🇦
@GM I… I believe it’s her natural skin, also RUclips lighting, also did you not… learn anything from the video about loving who you are and what you look like now…?
I got serious whiplash in 2016 when people were suddenly complimenting my thick eyebrows after years of being teased for them. I remember telling my mom and she said it reminded her of suddenly getting compliments on her curly hair in the 80s after growing up being told her hair was ugly and unkempt. It never ends.
I had the same happen & it was bizarre! Getting compliments on how much work I must have put in to get my eyebrows looking so full. I don't even comb them. I don't wear make up either (too much effort & disxomfort when I can't even see it so I don't see the point). When I was at school I had a friend pretty much beg me to let her pluck my eyebrows to get them looking "better" so I wouldn't be teased as much and I just refused. So getting complimented later? Was so weird! And I also had someone compliment me on my application of my "very natural looking make up, particularly the blush" when walking through the make up section of John Lewis with my Mum. She was the sales person & just thought I'd done an incredible job. Told her I didn't actually wear make up and the look of shock and confusion passing over her face. It was just cold out & I'm particularly prone to blushing 🤣
I had the same thing happen, but more with my figure than my face-- I grew up during the super-skinny, flat-butt trend. I had a curvy figure from a young age and felt insecure about it. Sure enough, curves came into fashion when I was a teenager, and I was suddenly getting compliments for my figure. One second they tell you you're fat and you need to lose weight, and then the next they tell you that you should "show off your figure more." I'm glad that I went through that then because I realized that what really mattered was how I saw my body, and not whether it complied with the current fashion.
Yes! This was me. I have very curly hair and thick eyebrows. I went from being bullied to “beautiful” overnight. It was the most bizarre thing I’ve ever experienced, BUT it opened my eyes as a young adult to the same topic of this video. Beauty is a trend. So I have done my own thing since then. I would love to see bodies no longer being viewed as something of that should fit into a specific mold. It’s madness when you think about it. We are ALL unique. Why can’t we celebrate that?? Because it doesn’t make companies $ that’s why. It’s tragic for young women and I dream of a world where it’s not a focus anymore. If nothing else, we can raise our daughters not to care and to embrace their uniqueness forever and always ❤
It really doesn't end. My mom told me recently that the freckles I get in summer are from my grandma, I just didn't know because apparently she lotioned them away?! When I go on insta nowadays it tries to shove reels at me of how to make freckles with make up
Same. I was born in the early 2000's, and as a little kid I was already being made fun of for my eyebrows, by kids my age and adults. As soon as Cara Delevigne and Lily Collins got popular, in the early 2010's, everything changed. The same girls who made fun of me were trying their best to grow eyebrows as thick as mine.
I used to hate my figure until it suddenly conformed to beauty standards and I was literally being told it was "the perfect body" while I was dealing with chronic pain and partial dislocations. Then in the last 2 years I dropped 10kg from uncontrollable vomiting, just in time to read that 'Heroin Chic' is coming back into fashion. The fact that my body is actually falling apart completely outside of my control, and that same body is still considered "desirable", is the most unbelievably uncomfortable dichotomy for me.
I lost cheekfat due to a thyroidproblem, also dropped 10 kilos and while literally my trousers fell down to my knees (luckily I wore a longer tunic) and I put them back on, I explained that I had a hospitalappoinment and bloodcheck that week and a girl said "I don't know, I like your face better this way." I mean, I don't want it to stay this way. Sporty and frail is different from "my muscles are gone, I cannot lift this bag" frail. I will admit, the first 5 kilos I lost were no problem, but then it was no longer funny and it just makes you feel weak, like a waterbottle with no water in it.
I was a slightly chubby kid, grew less so with age (to a fairly average size) but then lost weight quite rapidly in my early 20s due to health issues. It was such a strange thing being simultaneously (stupidly) happy about fitting more into societal beauty standards but also miserable in my body from a health perspective and angry when complemented on how “healthy” I looked just because I was slimmer. It became so apparent that “healthy” was the acceptable version to say instead of “I think you’re prettier now that you’re thinner”.
At least in times past the desirable look was openly labeled as being that of someone who was dying or very frail and poor of health. I'm sorry you have to deal with all those health problems and I hope you're able to get help in a timely manner.
So true! My aunts have natural red hair (like me) and they were teased growing up. I have the same shade and people would come to my mother and ask if they could bring me to a salon so they could have the hairdresser dye the same shade. (This actually happened.)
I'm a black girl with thick eyebrows, a big butt, and full lips, and I was teased mercilessly about these things when I was a kid. Thank you for pointing out the absurdity of body parts/types as 'trends'. It's all just so ridiculous.
while im not black, i've always had a big butt and was always told that that was me being "fat" (because 2000s ofc) and now suddenly they're trendy? but they're also being replaced by another trend anyway, its a never-ending cycle
I can't believe we've reached a point of LADY GAGA being criticised for being unconventional with her looks. You know, after she made her entire career out of refusing to conform to trends
@Lost pelican still, people were gagged. Apparently they forgot about bowie, grace jones... but I can remember that Gaga was controversial here in my country for the looks and themes
@@abrilvonbunny6205 there were "allegations" that she was a trans woman and that she had penis simply because she refuse to conform to these trends. her response made me love her so much.
As a person whose nose could probably be no further from the current beauty standard, I promised myself to never get a nose job because I don't want kids to feel about themselves the way I felt growing up.
Same. I've got four kids, and there's no way I would "fix" something about myself that may very well end up as one of their features. My nose bump is larger than karolina's, and my nose is slightly crooked - it's my nose, and I've come to like it. And, you know what? I actually like larger and more interesting noses on other people; it's what I'm attracted to. 🤷♀️
One of my favorite photos is a side profile picture with my dad, taken in the moment. You can see how alike we are and after seeing that pic, how I think about about my nose changed gradually.
That's a great mindset. It bothers me when people rant about beauty standards but then, when it comes to plastic surgery, it's like "oh, if the person really wants it, if it gives them confidence"... Trends exist because people follow them. We lose our right to complain if we are contributing to the problem by erasing our own untrendy features I'm a representative of the "big nosed women" 😅
I have a tiny little nose. It’s probably the only thing on my body that could be described as tiny (I’m just under 6 feet tall) and when I was a kid the other kids would say I looked like a piglet. Then as an adult people would comment that I have “a nose people pay good money for”. You literally can’t please anyone. You are who you are and you’ve got what you got.
Late to the party, but something that has always stuck with me regarding aging and beauty is the way that your face is SUPPOSED to age. It means you've used it. All the women in my mother's family have deep lines around their mouth. My mom pointed out that mine started to appear earlier than hers did (I was only 23), but she said that's because I'd smiled a lot more than she got to in her childhood. I mentioned that to one of my friends when we were talking about getting old once, and she burst into tears because she thought it was beautiful that signs of getting old could come from joy instead of suffering.
I just turned 30 and, while I've always been told I look much younger, I've started to get self conscious about the deep lines around my mouth (also from my mother's side). Thank you for this comment.
I'm also a big smiler, and bear zero regret in regards to my expression lines around the mouth. It's always funny to me how some people find that awesome and some others complain about having the same markings of joy. I, for one, am only sad about my perpetual dark circles under the eyes, which fail to disappear anymore in my 30s LOL
@@koalaeucalyptus I can definitely relate to the dark circles! Like, it doesn't matter how well I've slept, they are there to stay. I'm fine with it, though. My face just has a bit extra colour along with my freckles.
I think it's healthy to understand evolutionary psychology for this reason. A lack of wrinkles indicates that you are still in your prime fertile years (healthy pregnancy age peaks at 25, so this is not about children). Beauty and attractiveness are directly tied to reproductive urges as a species. And the way we look and the universals of beauty across cultures (such as waist to hip ratio) are what we've evolved for. I know it may sound harsh at first, but if you can accept these facts you can start to disregard culture trends a bit more, and just have a view rooted in reality to make peace with. It's a much easier task that having to "unpack" and "unlearn" every small thing. Instead you can step back and get some healthy perspective on this. I personally have been enjoying my youth and unique beauty a lot more since I started thinking about myself this way. I've felt more free to look how I naturally look, and even to have my own fashion style.
For an era that is trying to be "body positive" the idea that in order to be beautiful you have to look like a doll that has come out of a very specific, easy for plastic surgery, mold is at least hypocritical
It's cause nowadays people are having the work done "fOr ThEmsElvEs" 🙄🙄 (not judging those who do have the work done, but like damn at least don't pretend you're not doing it cause of the beauty standards!)
@@britischenadligen3760 No one would actually do plastic surgery to change a normal feature into a trendy one "just for themselves". That's a phrase people use so they don't have to admit to themselves or others that they got influenced by the beauty standards 🤷♀ And since it's wrong to say that Anything is wrong, people end up falling into the absurd of ranting about beauty standards but then saying plastic surgery is ok
@@auricia201 I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or not 😅 but the reason why I said I don't judge people who do get surgery is because I know it all too well what it's like to dislike a part of your face so much that you want to change it. So I don't think it's fair to make people feel bad for getting/wanting surgery, like if we're gonna attack someone let's instead attack the cookie cutter beauty standards that make people want to get the surgery in the first place, not the people for being insecure about their looks .
@@britischenadligen3760 I was agreeing with you, but I went on a side rant. I wasn't referencing your "not judging" part of the comment, but while we are at it, it's important to remember that thinking something is wrong is different from hating the people that do it or attack them. Also, even though it's good to empathize with people with insecurities, everyone is capable of ignoring beauty standards. Those standards are made by the people that follow them
I used to hate my face until I started drawing portrait studies. I started to notice the different features in people that make them unique and soon began to love those features. And it kills me to think that some of the people I’ve drawn might hate the very traits that make them so beautiful. Now I can finally smile at myself in the mirror because all my little quirks are what make me look like me.
Same here! Granted, I once fell in love with a mean person that, in hindsight, was just plain unhealthy and abusive, but to me, at the time, he looked like an angelic creature. I would run my hands up and down his arms and his face and whisper; 'You are so handsome, so handsome..I love your arms, your eyebrows, that mouthcorner where it's really soft, your hair, your earlobe, etc." He did not believe a word of it and would usually be very insecure and get angry. And to be fair, at some point even I started noticing that the 'angelic look' had been replaced by a very bad-skinned, alcoholic-nosed, drunk-eyed morbidly obese man with severe healthproblems and dangerous infections all over. But certain, (healthy) specific details in a person, like a big nose, a 'witch-nose' (as they call it here, like Chelsea Peretti has, which I btw absolutely love on her) and small hands or a wonky eye or a birthmark in their face or thin lips, a double chin (I know someone atm that has a double chin, in combination with a chizzeled jaw and I like the look, and the guy) and eyes with different colours in them or something, they make the person who they are. I still need to teach the severely-in-love-part of my brain that (if I fall in love again) infected toes or stomach-ulcers don't deserve the same attention and praise as a wonky eye, because I tend to go overboard and love _everything_ about them, but for the future; I'm curious, excited and ready to find out what a potential (nice and friendly!) boyfriend will look like and I'll make sure to pick my favorite aspects of him and make sure he knows (next to how much I love him) how handsome he is.
Yup, I hated myself and how I look so much as a kid growing up, but being timid and shy, instead of interacting with people I observed them and when I got into art I started actually paying attention to what I saw and i was able to find something beautiful in everyone (I also realized I found women beautiful in a different way than my straight friends lol). After some time of doing art and life happening did I realize I literally am conventionally attractive, it was such a wired thing to me even if it seems like it'd be obvious to a person. I was literally recovering from an ed when I figured out that I mostly fit into beauty standards. But with art I appreciate my unique features even more than the convectional ones because they make me stand out and not be like everyone else.
I had someone tell me once I should get my toes shortened because they're "too long" and "look like fingers". She literally wanted me to get my toes cut short, simply for an aesthetic. I told her I like being able to pick things up without stooping and to how about cut her nose short so it didn't poke into others business. We were never going to be friends ;)
Hope I'm not bothering you, I just saw this comment again - and I regularly get comments from variety "your toes look like chubby stubs you should cover them" to "you have such cute childlike toes" and "why are you wearing sock in sandals" (so hiding them is bad and not hiding them is bad - not that i'm hiding them i just prefer to have socks to sweaty feet) You just can't win with people so it's smartest not to try...Someone is going to find something to criticize over stuff that is completely out of our control... Kind of sad for them to live stuck on such inconsequential details
That is one HELL of a thing to say to someone, omfg. Meanwhile my toes and fingers are short and my nails are extremely small, like you have no idea. Some of my toenails are only a millimeter long when cut. I get sad because that means I don't have a lot of surface to decorate. :( I've had people say "just wear fake nails" but I'm just like... glued to WHAT? :'D
As a 17 year old girl with a round face, thin lips, and a large nose, thank you so much for this video and reminding me that everyone is beautiful regardless of the trends.
as someone who's vastly older than you and was never considered 'beautiful' at any point in my life (being described as 'average' would probably be on the kinder side), I have long since come to the conclusion that my mind is far more important. suffering from dementia or being in an accident which'd affect my ability to think would be so much worse and any kind of 'ugly' nose shape. ultimately our bodies are just meat sacks to carry around our mind.
Remember this when dating. Any healthy, kind, face is beautiful when we love the person wearing it. Let people who aren't pretty have a chance to win your heart.
@@1st1anarkissed LOVE your word choice, it made me feel warm and happy inside as a person who's fairly ugly and doesn't want to/can't make an effort to change it thanks to chronic fatigue
"Women cannot win" is so true. I recently noticed how one person probably should have 2 body types: one curvatious for posing in underwear/swimmwear and one skeleton-thin for normal clothing. I also feel like we, who survived a few body-fashions now, dont stress about conforming too much, but the bad part about not being able to find clothing that fits your type still prevails.
exactly! another thing is that people somehow expect these body types to come without the "flaws" that occur in them naturally, a thin person shouldn't be too "bony" or "flat", a curvy person shouldn't have belly rolls, cellulite or stretchmarks, it's as though you're supposed to rearrange your fat strategically so that it's flattering everywhere, and how do you achieve that? surgery. it's just gross.
I often have temptation to create my own clothing to avoid the shopping trap where nothing is proportioned quite right to start, and it is made with subpar materials, and is probably made hurriedly, by disenfranchised, exploited people. I'm unsurprised that my favorite vintage pieces are the homemade ones with sufficient seam allowance and maybe made for someone slightly similarly proportioned to me!
I have those little rosebud lips that were so fashionable in the 1910s-1920s, and being a kid in the lip filler ridden 2010s, I hated them so much. Then I found a portrait of my great-grandmother from 1924; she had my lips, and she was stunning. It was around that time I stopped overlining my lipstick.
I grew up during the 1970’s when models had thin lips. Mine are very plump, full of vertical lines and thick. As a white girl, it wasn’t at all ideal. Imagine my incredulity at lip fillers now? It’s crazy. My little thumbnail there doesn’t really show anything. So… much sympathy to you.
Me too! I remember a girl trying to bully me about it in middle school, but my mom has always told me I have the prettiest mouth shape. That's a weird compliment, but it made me not give a crap about that girl.
There is this great tweet by myeshachou that said "your existence is proof that generations of your face has been loved" and honestly that has helped me love my face so much after years of thinking my East Asian features were ugly
I can't really agree with this. What if those features came from a rapist? Or from people in a loveless arranged marriage? That doesn't help considering the story of the region of origin of my ancestors where rape and arranged marriages were really common
I read a book once that was written back in the 1920s. It was about how the author's mother and father met in the old west. Throughout the entire book, the author wrote about how in love his dad was with his wife, the author's mom. How it was love at first sight, and how she was the most beautiful woman in the entire world. At the end of the book, he showed a picture of her on her wedding day, and she looked like an average woman by today's standards. Even kind of dowdy. She's wasn't ugly, but much plainer than I expected from how the book described her. But I don't doubt that she was beautiful. She was a kind woman, who was gentle and graceful, and loved her family. She sounded lovely.
Something I read that still sticks with me to this day is beauty standards and even the "body positivity" movement, by extension, are just redrawing lines for what can be categorised as f*ckable. When in reality, the vastness of human appearance is a delightful and fascinating manifestation of history and humanity. If we all looked the same that would be so boring and one dimensional. Your face is timeless your hair is timeless your body is timeless. It's such a relief
It’s not men who make thin or thick eyebrows fashionable. It’s the fashion industry & women. Your average guy could care. If a guy found big butts attractive ten years ago, he still will 👍🏻
@@teleriferchnyfain It's not personal taste we're talking about here. The point is the beauty industry (largely owned by white men btw) is really an insecurity industry that profits obscenely and intentionally by telling women there is something wrong with them. (Great example: The early 20th century Gillette campaign wanted to sell razors to the other half of the population so they said body hair on women was gross. Now the majority of adult women remove naturally occurring hair by any means necessary.)
Yeah the whole body positivity movement was a big mistake. It started genuine but then turned into hating on thin people and people who want to loose weight.
my history teacher made it a big deal to let us know that to the Ancient Maya, being cross-eyed was a highly desired physical trait, and that fashion trends are exactly that: trends. fashion is fluid and ever-changing, so if someone makes you feel bad for how you look now, just know that they might end up trying to look more like you in the future to keep up with the trends.
I sometimes wonder if, when people say that some trait like crossed eyes was considered beautiful to one group of people at one time in history, whether someone actually just saw a drawing a Mayan made of a cross-eyed person and decided that because someone drew it, it must be a desirable characteristic throughout their culture and across the centuries. Like, how do they know it was a sought-after feature? Also, if trends in our time change drastically within five years, are they suggesting crossed eyes were a desirable feature throughout Mayan history, or only at one specific point for a period of like 50 years tops?
they also installed gemstones in their teeth and changed the shape of their skulls. they started this procedure as early as possible, by attaching a wooden plank to the back of an infants' head.
I’m so grateful my mom gave me perspective on plastic surgery: she told me that she never intended to have any work done, but when she needed nose surgery to fix a deviated septum she decided to go for it. She asked the doctor, “if you’re gonna cut my nose up anyway, can you make it smaller while you’re at it?” And he said “absolutely”. I’ve seen pictures of her before the surgery and still think she looked great, but in daily life she noticed a difference in the way people treated her. Men especially were nicer and more likely to compliment her. This showed her which people in her life (and how people in general) were more shallow and swayed by a simple physical change when she was still the exact same person.
Maybe it's because i'm really autistic but i never understood why people care so much how other people treat them. Sure it's nicer when people are kinder but changing my face for that reason? Absolutely not why would i care. Like if they're pieces of shit than why do i care what thwy think
I knew a girl with naturally deep lines in her face even as she was young, but as I better knew her, I grew to adore her features. Her expressions were loud, her smile contagious, features that were not "conventionally attractive" made her memorable and beautiful. It's as though I could only see her real face after I knew the real her.
I find that to be very true. I’ve never met anyone I didn’t think was beautiful/handsome after I got to know them. Regardless of whatever my first glance was.
I accidentally broke the idea of beauty industry standards as a kid in my own brain. I remember finding so many different types of women beautiful, wildly different ages and every ethnicity. I started to try to see myself from an outside perspective and if I found all these different things beautiful in other women I could find beauty in myself.
I was about 15-16 (back in the late 90's/early 2000's) when a boy I knew from school told me I shouldn't wear makeup (we were out of school and I was in full goth makeup) I pointed out to him that he saw me every day without makeup and asked why he'd never complimented me on my appearance. He didn't actually mean I should wear no makeup, he meant I should wear a very particular type of makeup. Some things never change.
I remember a classmate in high school remarking that sometimes people would tell her that she wears too heavy makeup, even when she wasn't wearing any. She just had particularly thick eyelashes. Even a natural look can be seen as "fake".
I usually wore such light make-up, people thought I was wearing none - but if they saw me without it, they'd ask if I was tired or unwell! It just gave me a more groomed look. A lot of the women around me wear too much foundation and it is aging and muddy. To me, make up is for enhancing your natural beauty, and shouldn't take a lot of time- men are busy earning money and investing, while women are fussing over their appearance and spending money on it!
25:03 This is why I'm so happy to see women that are older like Cate Blanchett, Jennifer Coolidge or Michelle Yeoh are being recieved so positively by the majority of the internet right now. They're celebrated (again) and not just ironically but are sincerely recognized for their talent and character.
That’s true, and I’m glad too, however the pressure on them has got to be immense and I’m 100% confident all of them have hit the plastic surgery pretty hard (though subtlety) to stay “beautiful” enough for Hollywood to keep giving them attention.
I remember being teased for my "thick" eyebrows. So I proceeded to change nothing about them, then got praised a few years later for my perfect eyebrow shape. Same thing happened with my glasses. People are ridiculous. Just do what you want and wave at the trends as they go by. The men you want to attract dont usually watch the trends anyway, and you always look more beautiful when you just wear what you like
Yep. I remember the super-thin eyebrows of the 70's and just hated the look. I also heard people complain that they didn't grow back when thicker ones were more popular. It's funny how super- thin brows crop up from time to time: 20's/30's, 60's/70's, etc
"you always look more beautiful when you just wear what you like" is SO TRUE! The confidence and comfort of wearing what you like, of being your authentic self is *very* attractive. Just like Karolina says: Pedro Pascal is VERY attractive, not because of his looks as much as his personality that shines through. I used to find Adam Driver just plain ugly, and noticed in his early interviews he was very stiff and uncomfortable, and he seemed kind of like a jerk. Then, I saw a more recent appearance and he was smiling, joking, and laughing with the host. Suddenly I thought, "Hey, he's a good looking guy!" It took a couple of days to figure out why my mind had been changed almost instantly. Naturally, it is his personality.
I keep saying this, but as a tween and teen with full, slightly curly brows, I wanted nothing more than to pluck them all off. My aunt told me once unprompted that they were perfect for my face and it made me keep them as is even if I hated them. Cue a few years later, Cara DeLavigne becomes the world's hit girl, and my brows are suddenly super fashionable. I remember VIVIDLY a make-up artist who was doing my face for my friend's wedding calling everyone over to show them my filled brows and fawning over them. Today, they're ugly again. You can't win forever! I was fashionable for a short while, and I learned to love my brows during that time.
Wait 😵 they are? (Bushy brows ugly again) But I still hear about microblading, growth serums.. Not the line thin eyebrows again please! 😑 It looks like people are going bald! Why can't people be happy with their natural brows? There are nice thin brows, and well as nice thick ones, arched, straight... Why change them!! 🤦🏻♀️
You are me. Hahaha! It's my story (except for curly brows)! I will not pluck mine though. After Cara DeLavigne, I will never go back and will not feel bad about these brows ever again.
This happened to me with many things, my curly hair, my mixed race features, but the one thing that i cant get over, is my bodyshape. Even through im trans, both men and women in my family have really, really big butts. Im talking 70cm waist with a butt over 150cm. Shit is astronomical. Its mostly due to native american, middle eastern and mediterranean genetics, a lot of fat deposit on the hips and butt from those genes. I got bullied, called gross, told to go to the gym, told i looked botched, and sexually harassed and assaulted for my butt ever since i was 8-9, summed up to my girly expression too. I always felt self concious and when i came out of the closet i remember seeing all the trans girls with dainty little legs and abdomen and hips and feeling like a huge disproportionate blob. Then when kim k rose in popularity, and her massive butt was trending, i got so many compliments, trans and cis women asking if i could give them the contact of the surgeon, because i was told its so round and seamless that it looks man-made. I was told this as a compliment. I rode this high until about 2021-2022. Now heroin chic is back, and im yet again getting people telling me i look old, even friends of mine giving me advice on what clothes to wear to minimize it. Its fucking heartbreaking, and i know my life will be going back and forth from being ridiculed and shamed for something that, as far as im aware, is not possible to change (since even tho theres obviously fat, my butt is mostly muscle, and I am not sure there are any procedures to successfully and not insanely dangerously and expensively reduce it), and then being back to being celebrated for it, or, more often than not, shamed for getting a procedure done, as people cant believe this is just how i look like
I GASPED when I heard the “filling the nostrils” bit. I have round, big nostrils, so the fact that somewhere on Earth there was a Victorian lady violently stuffing her nostrils to look like me makes me feel like a supermodel😂 all bodies and faces are beautiful, we should stop making bodies into fashion trends
My advice to anyone who struggles with their body image: spend less time on social media, or at least less time on broad social media that doesn't consist of your personal friends. My mental health took an absolute nose dive when I got really into Instagram. I felt uglier, fatter, and more broke and worthless than ever before. I have healed a lot since taking a major social media break and I don't think I'll ever go back.
Yep. I only spend my online time with people I personally know, their aquaintances or in self help groups. I am almost 40 and most of my friends are of similar age. No supermodels in sight. :D
Yeah. Not only does your understanding of what is “normal average beauty” vanish completely, it also gives lot of pressure to be more effective, do more with one’s life. Nothing is enough compared to everyone posting their super moments as everyday thing. Beautiful very early morning workouts or yoga or art making or baking before getting dolled up for a productive inspirational work day followed by fully planned evening activities with cool hobbies and cool people. 100% all the time. Exhausting.
I can agree! In 2020/2021/some of 2022 my self-esteem got worse because I was spending more time on social media, but in late 2022 I broke away from most social medias and limited the time I spent on them, started to dress the way I want to, and just got out more in general and my self-esteem has skyrocketed. Don’t forget that most of the time, when posting on social media, people take pictures of themselves all glammed up with makeup on and not just your average everyday photo of yourself with no makeup and messy hair.
Agree, I temember thinking "oh right, that is what real people look like, they have spots and bellies , too" when returning to the office after years of working from home and daydreaming on social media....
As someone who used to do life drawing, my fellow artists and I always LOVED the models who'd come in and had "irregular" body types/features (ones that fell outside the "average"/"standard" proportions) they always made for the best drawings and we got the most wonderful stylised sketches out of it. So to anyone who might be feeling crappy about their body/features, know that a bunch of artists would absolutely adore you and would gladly spend hours drawing you
Yes, in life drawing, we were thrilled when a girl with large round thighs walked in, after weeks of doing a scrawny size 10. (As in, a 1980s 10 - today that's a size 2 or smaller in the US system).
Ok, please bear in mind that those of us who were scrawny for most of adulthood are on the extreme other end of the bell curve, not typical body types, and got teased, too. They were on trend for a season but like the video points out, they’ve also been wildly off trend and disdained (both of which I’ve experienced in my 40 years). It has been a lifetime of people commenting on my scrawny body, with wildly different opinions, many negative, and lifetime of hearing that skinny women aren’t “real women,” and hearing people talk about skinny (even the use of the term “scrawny” is a negative) is somehow defective or less desired than curvy. I didn’t create the Twiggy trend, I can’t help that, nor did I ask for curvy to be popular. I was a size 0-2 until my 40’s and couldn’t gain if I tried. Often those scrawny types can’t gain.
@@Sjp374 Hey I know several artists (myself included) who'd still love drawing someone on your end of the bell curve too! :) I think what the other person was getting at (although not said in the best way) is that artists enjoy drawing variety and humans come in a variety so when you frequently draw one sliver of the spectrum that people come in, we appreciate the variety when we get to see it. I'm sorry you were teased and felt left out of the body positivity, no one should be made to feel lesser or unwanted. All body shapes/types are art
@@Mella864 thank you! My mom is an artist too and is so good about appreciating the beauty in everyone. I think what I was trying to say is that we need to find ways as a society to show support to all types without denigrating other types in the process. I think most folks don’t even think about it, but it’s overwhelmingly common to compliment curves girls by putting down skinny ones, and then we are just back at square one with people feeling like their body type is inferior!
This is really silly, but Karolina pointing out that round faces were fashionable round faces were fashionable 15 years ago made me feel really beautiful when I looked at myself myself in the mirror! Buccal fat removal videos have made me really insecure about my round face and realising that my features were at one point desirable made me feel suddenly a lot more confident. If only we realised everyone with different features should be able to feel like that without it being a passing trend
Believe me when I say that those who had a buccal fat removal procedure will bitterly regret this decision in 10 years or even less, not only because the beauty standard will change, but they will age a lot faster (I mean, Bella Hadid already looks 10 years older than she is)
Round faces are a sign of youth. I had the roundest face until I hit 30. I’ve lost the baby fat in my face and my features now look more defined. Embrace the round face. Most people lose it with age
@@MariaRodriguez-dx6sm Girl… they already look bad lol. Removing buccal fat only looks good from certain angles, on still Image. Even Bella Hadid kinda looks odd when you see her out on the street. She looks good on a runaway tho.
Coming from a fellow plump face, you will so appreciate it as you get older! I believe that’s exactly why many Asian and Hispanic people are stereotyped as “aging slower.” Facial roundness is very common. For plump faced people, wearing spf and staying relatively healthy, goes a very long way as the face naturally thins with age. I honestly feel like a look better now in my early 30s, then I did in my early 20s. I’ve mastered my skincare, I’m more confident, and age just carved out my features more. Only issue is that I still gotta dodge all those emotionally immature dudes in their early 20s lol.
Some of my guy friends and I were recently discussing male vs female beauty standards, so I’d be very interested in seeing more videos like this. I think the most interesting thing I learned during our discussion was that when men feel unattractive, there’s a common, somewhat fatalistic mindset to just “accept they’re ugly and there’s nothing they can do about.” Which contrasts a lot with how it’s not uncommon for women to work really hard to try to meet unattainable beauty standards, but at the end of the day neither is a healthy mindset whatsoever.
Men are accepted if they have redeemable personalities...women are not. Women have to have either just physical beauty or the whole package for acceptance.
There's definitely this idea that if a man is ugly (or even just not super hot in a conventional way) it's fine bc at least he's funny/smart/whatever, but god forbid any random woman fail at her only job of looking like a supermodel 🙄
Men definitely feel pressure to get fit bodies a lot , otherwise such huge gym culture wouldn't exist. This is one of the things they feel is essential to improving their looks and of course, it usually works. Anyway, I don't think men are exempt from the pressure to look good, but they are pushed in different directions.
@@AN-sm3vj Yes, women definitely experience more criticism, but really even a chubby otherwise successful man gets some of it nowadays because the fit gym culture is super strong and everywhere.
When my grandfather was on hospice, my mother went to visit him. My grandmother told him “You’re daughter is here.” With his eyes closed, he whispered: “She’s pretty.” Whenever my Mom feels insecure, I remind her of what my Papa said. Long story short - the people who love you think your features are endearing. They make you YOU. Great video. My crazy curls, big nose, and pale skin thank you.
Karolina, I was literally just talking to a friend last night about how tragic it is that many people destroy their unique beauty in the hopes of aquiring a "trendy" nose. This seems to be a particular epidemic in the middle east. If I am correct Iran has one of the highest rates of rhinoplasty in the world and it is so disappointing to me that these western beauty standards/trends have such an influence. I personally love strong noses and always get so sad when I see people shaving them down to look like little barbie nose ski slopes.
Yeah it's so damn stupid and lowkey racist how only one *very* specific type of nose is considered attractive nowadays. Meanwhile I see many beautiful women with noses that are either curved or have bumps or are slightly too wide or long and they still look stunning. Personally I've got nothing against rhinoplasty if that's what someone really wants, but I wish that more surgeons would at least try to preserve ethnic features instead of always going for the cookie cutter Barbie nose and just feeding into this idea that only that type of nose is cute. Eww rant over lol
@@casandra0 Exactly 🤦♀ We can't really say that standard is racist when the feature in question doesn't belong to any race! It's just a plainly stupid standard, that's all. Funny enough, I've seen people rant about how it is Racist to assume people from other cultures are influenced by western beauty standards 🤷♀ The bottom line is: everything is racist, and the only wrong thing is saying something is wrong
And when the trends change, they often can't go back. The nose can only be altered about three times before the underlying structures can't support any more changes - and the initial surgery very often requires a second to correct deformities that happen from the first surgery. Buccal fat removal surgery is irreversible. With blepharoplasty, mistakes can sometimes occur in which they take out too much eyelid skin and the eye can never close properly again and they get chronic, severe dry eyes. I think plastic surgery videos make it seem easy, when people often require additional surgeries that they can't afford and didn't anticipate.
Okay so I've struggled with having a round face my entire life including serous mental illness and plans and savings for jaw line shaving... this video. I'm on the edge of tears. It's my face. It's my dad's face. My grandads face. You're so correct, features aren't trends
I have a very narrow thin face and was teased about it when I was younger. I of course want a round face. I am a mature lady with grown up children and I've never gotten over my insecurities over my looks.
My dad passed away after a sudden illness last year and now after spending years hating my nose and rounded face I realized that’s a part of him I get to carry on with me. It’s like one last connection with him I get to look at everyday. Never thought I’d ever except my nose but the passing of a loved one changed things. I’m so glad I never was able to change my nose because I would regret not looking like my dad now.
Don’t do it! I had, yes had, a round face and around 35, it went away. I now have an angular face. The round is gone and you look so much younger and healthier with a round face. Now I was trying to walk some weight off and I lose it from my face and not my thighs.
My mom spent her entire childhood being teased for being too skinny, and now everyone is jealous of her figure. She also never dyed her hair, even though she started going gray quite young. People told her she looked old. Now that she's in her 60s, women compliment her and say they wish they had gone gray naturally so they didn't have to go through the awkward growing out stage once society deemed them "too old" to not be gray. I'm really glad I have my mom to counter a lot of the messaging we get from pop culture and the beauty industry. Thanks to her, I have a remarkably healthy body image and have always been aware that standards change (although I will grant that I have also been blessed with a body that is generally close enough to the standard to be deemed acceptable, though not the height of fashion).
To any young person considering a nose job- I used to hate hate my nose, it was my biggest insecurity I couldn’t even look at pictures of my side profile without going done a dysmorphic spiral. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve not only learned to appreciate it, but I’ve also literally grown into my nose. When you’re young your face is still developing and changing- and some features grow faster or slower than others! Allow your body to mature before you start considering any sort of procedures! You are beautiful!
This is very on point. I have quite a prominent nose and I've always felt insecure about it (still fighting it!) and I think part of the problem is that I was made fun of for it (by a boy that I was in love it, no less!) at the time when my face was still growing and it kind of grew first before the rest caught up with it!
youre so right! i used to hate my nose growing up, crying every time i saw myself in my mirror because it looked “big” but my mother always said “you’ll grow into it” now i see she was right! it turns out my nose looked “big” because of puberty, and now i have grown into it and ive learned to accept it!!
Same! I used to think a lot on getting a surgery when I was in my teen years because I hated my nose so much. But later I found out that is the same as my grandma's: she passed away when my mom was 2 and we don't have many pictures of her. I'm 33 now and I wouldn't change my nose for anything, not even a million dollars.
Something I heard from a body positive Instagram content creator I follow helped me a lot recently. She said "Your body is the least interesting thing about you. Think about people you love and love to be around. If they were fatter or skinnier, would you like them less? No, right? Its the same with yourself. I promise you that your body is the least interesting thing about you to your loved ones." It really centralized personality and heart above all else and I appreciated that sentiment.
Honestly this. I've had a lot of good friends who were far removed from beauty standards, had unconventional looks, who believed they were ugly, and who I had thought were ugly when I first met them. Then we got talking and got along so well we kept looking for each other's company in school. Looks didn't matter anymore and the "ugly" stopped being ugly and instead became a part of who they were. Appearance is incredibly shallow. It may get you attention but if your personality doesn't match the other person then no matter how great you look, no matter how well you conform to beauty standards, they're still going to think you're one ugly bitch.
And not just that - people have different tastes, and somebody lov your big/small nose, full/thin lips, etc. My wife hates her round belly, small breasts and some other things, but that are one of my favourite parts of her body (just to clarify, I love her whole body, soul and mind - not in that order)). Karolina is right again.
Besides history, geography also makes such a difference. Even in one historical period, there are so many different standards. Living abroad made me much more comfortable about my body and my style. In my home country (Brazil) I'm considered flat and too tall - it's perceived as masculine, and quite distant from the ideal super curvy body. My style is seen as conservative, as I rarely show skin. Then I moved to Eastern Europe and now I was 100% the female beauty standard haha Blonde, tall, deemed skinny and my style elegant, classy etc., so a lot of guys were approaching me, which never happened before. Later I moved to Japan and it was super interesting too - my features were not considered feminine usually (btw I was not seen as skinny). My style was now considered edgy? So I was in the "cool" (kakkoi) niche aka I now got queer coded and girls were hitting on me from time to time 😂 I guess all these experience made me realize how random and arbitrary beauty standards can be, and to truly have my own sense of self, style and generally be comfortable in my body wherever the time and place. I don't mind beauty procedures or even plastic surgeries, in fact I want to do a few in the future - but I want to do them for myself and my own "standard".
As a person with freckles, I was bullied as a kid for having them: watching people smash dots on their faces with henna and put them on every filter possible is oddly funny to me. It's actually scary how trends make us insecure about our literal bones and skin, yet then in around 4 years they change just like that
I never understood that!! I do henna freckles bc I think they're really cute but I always wanted freckles bc my mum and sister are covered in them and I always wanted them
My boyfriend went through the same thing when he was young, he's from a very small town and he was constantly bullied for his freckles all of his childhood and puberty. I show him every now and then videos of people doing whatever they can to have freckles, and he just laughs and gets annoyed. He doesn't loves his freckles as much as I do because of the bullying. He's a redhead, a rarity in our country (we are from Mexico) and he hates being the center of attention because of his freckles and hair color... But now his looks are "on trend" Beauty standards are ridiculous .-.
I also have freckles and while I wasn’t exactly bullied for them growing up, I was constantly reminded of how they were a “flaw I wasn’t supposed to have”. I don’t have those tiny dainty ones sprinkled on the nose, mine are fairly big, quite a bit darker than my skin colour and everywhere on my face. I tried so many creams, serums and toners to erase them when I was a teenager, even squeezing lemon juice directly on my face for weeks on end (don’t try, it doesn’t work and it’s very bad for your skin). At last, I accepted I would never have the smooth, even skin that has been so coveted for so long (still is in some way). Then a couple of years ago my mum called me to show me a video of a girl tattooing freckles on her face. At first I laughed and called it a fluke, maybe she just really liked freckles that much even if I didn’t understand. Then suddenly it’s 2021 and everyone and their cat wants these tiny little dark spots I’ve been feeling insecure for so long, permanently etched on their face.
I'm 63 years old, drooping in places I didn't use to. I've been through a couple of major illnesses and surgeries so there are scars and more weight than I would like. I'm working on that for health reasons, but I decided that I'm more than my body. I am smart, funny, loving, and talented. I've worked hard to like myself even when I see those so called "beautiful women." Thank you for this video.
I just wish it didn't take most women until their 60s to realize this. But is a woman ever not beautiful? Even older women have a certain beauty that is unlike any other.
Same. I’m in my forties but health issues don’t discriminate in wrecking the body. I think I’m going to have to give in at some point to a brow lift because eventually I won’t be able to see out……I’m never going to like how I look, I just want the meat suit to function and not hurt so much! Sending hugs to everyone struggling.
@@fable_enthusiast thanks. I'm not. But I have to teach myself that's not the thing that matters. There are lots of beautiful people who are horrible. And beauty doesn't even last. Even if fashion didn't change everything would head south and get wrinkled anyway. It's much better to be nice, kind, and if at all possible, healthy.
I just had a flashback to when my cousin claimed she didn't look like anyone in the family and I told her "You have the same nose we all do." She got mad, like I was saying her nose was ugly. Girl, it's my nose, too!
I always wonder do people who are hating some feature of theirs and decide to get plastic surgery think before the decision about how they parents and other relatives they have the same feature as, might feel? Cause well yes you're insecure about a feature that's not just yours but you're basically also publicly calling your parents and other ancestors ugly...
I’m a teen living in Nigeria, where being thick and voluptuous is seen as the beauty standard. I’ve received comments right from eight years old about my appearance, to the point where I felt like there was something seriously wrong with my body. I felt like I wasn’t “feminine” enough. I still struggle with thoughts like that till today. I borrowed a notebook from a girl once, and when I opened it I saw that she wrote something along the lines of “lose weight” as one of her goals. I personally didn’t see the reason why she’d want to do that, as she was someone who all the guys at my school ran after, she was curvy and pretty. I wonder now what could’ve happened that made her want to lose weight, as one of her goals when her body was perfectly fine in my eyes. Who were the people that filled her head with such thoughts and made her feel like something was wrong with the way her body looked? That’s when I realized something. The world is very superficial, especially towards women. Everything is about how beautiful you are. Beauty standards are structured in a way that unless you are rich or just lucky, it’s next to impossible for you to attain. I feel like the BBL era proved that to us all. Few to no naturally skinny women have hips twice the size of their waist and an extremely huge butt. Skinny women don’t have a lot of fat on their bodies so it’ll make sense if most skinny women had flat butts, but because that is easier to attain than a bigger butt with a skinny body, the standards changed so more people would buy big companies’ products to adjust and conform to the new standard. Even if you “fit the ideal” the world will still have a problem with your body because you’re a woman and women just can’t win.
I feel like it's a good place to share this. So, I'm 26 and look like a teenager, so I've tried to find some ways to look a couple years older: I thought, maybe I wear my hair in a certain more childish way or something. So I tried to google "hairstyles to make you look older". And I got bombarded with articles screaming at me "HAIRSTYLES THAT MAKE YOU AN UGLY OLD WOMAN", "HERE'S WHAT YOU SHOULD AVOID", "NEVER WEAR YOUR HAIR LIKE THIS OR YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A DISGUSTING OLD PERSON". It was so fucking weird... (Also, although it did show some of "older" hairstyles, not helpful at all.) I mean, I know looking younger is for some reason desirable in the society (why? do you want people never to take you seriously? because that's what happens with me all the time) , but jfc, this is ridiculous.
It’s wild how pointed certain topics are, especially around looks! I have always been on the skinny end and then lost a bunch of weight accidentally. I’ve been working to gain it back, and looked up tips for how to gain weight healthily. After about two results, everything turns into “how to lose weight, fast!” or “how to eat enough to exercise and turn it all into muscle”. It feels like something is wrong with your body, just looking at all the advice, so I can’t imagine how someone already insecure and wanting to lose weight would feel!
Amen. I’m also in my 20s and I still get mistaken for a high schooler. It’s really frustrating, isn’t it? I’m sure there’s SOMETHING I could do to look a little older, but I haven’t figured out the secret yet.
@@emilylike-the-soup2502 I have had my ID checked untill I was 38(!). Then I stopped dying my hair, when I discovered I was covering up a pretty stylish grey streak front and centre. Now my ID is never asked anymore. My face is still flawless though. So I guess that grey part of my hair above my face is doing it for me😂
Fellow baby-facer here, turning 30 very soon. I’m a generally skinny person with a chubby-ish face, so there really isn’t much I can do except wear what makes me feel good (which is sometimes a sweatshirt with cats on it) and try to enjoy it. I will say that it bothers me much less at 29 than it did at 25. Whether that’s due to my face having aged a bit or just having more confidence I can’t say, but how you carry yourself and feel about yourself makes a bigger difference than makeup or clothes 😊
I used to think I was unattractive and I still do struggle with body positivity but what’s really helped has been looking at my daughter. Her adorable little two year old features are just like mine. She has my round little nose. She has my lips and eyes and she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. If she is so beautiful and she looks like me then I can’t be that bad looking.
One of the most back handed compliments I’ve ever gotten is “you were born in the wrong era, if it were the 1940’s you would be a model”… like what are you trying to say 😭😭😭
Right!? Her nose is literally fine. (Actually, the first thing I had to look at was her nice hairdo. With that one she looks very Greco-Roman in silhouette. You could emboss her profile on a coin.)
In the early 2000s (when I was a young pre-teen), my mother told me not to touch my eyebrows because I will regret it and they will never be the same. I had nice tick eyebrows my entire life and I loved them. I was quite surprised that they became fashionable with people that used to hate the same eyebrows before. I can now see that those same people are plucking their eyebrows again. I do not and I will never listen to those people about anything. I am very grateful to my mother for making such a big impact just with an innocent comment about my eyebrows.
This was my exact experience from that era-- I saw those models in the Vogue magazines, and I desperately wanted those delicate eyebrows. Mine were naturally dark and bold. I tweezed my brows off against my mom's warning (she was young in the 70's during another skinny brow trend) and they never grew back. I suffered through the boxy eyebrow trends, and it was always in my face since I worked in the beauty industry. Now, people are having their eyebrows micro-bladed, and it's very well-accepted. I have friends who have had confidence boosts from having it done. I have mixed thoughts of thin eyebrows coming back into "fashion," having seen all eyebrow trends come full circle.
Your mother is wise. When I was going to school to become an aesthetician we learned how to wax various body parts, including brows. We practiced on each other of course. I was 39 at the time and had lovely thick brows that had never been touched. I had the minimal waxing done, and switched to having them threaded periodically. I regret it 😢. Now I’m in my 50s and my brows have started to thin and I wish I had resisted that pressure. Never let anyone touch your brows darling 😊
An ode to Karolina's, and everyone's, nose: It sits upon her countenance as fair as fair may be It is neither long nor short to an overt degree a nose it is, to smell the roses and to scent honey her nose is there above her lips and that's just how it be ❤
@@NightTimeDay It is a long nose, but she mentioned she had trouble with the 'bump' on it. I have a nose like hers, without a bump, but I was always told by people (amongst many nasty things) that it was big, by which they meant long. Edit; Mine is crooked though, it's diagonally on my face. Not to mention, my eyes are about half a centimeter apart and my jaw is weird too. If I put sunglasses on, the nose is too crooked to support it properly and it falls to the side and only highlights the difference between my eyes (one sunglass-part is covering my eyebrow, the other the area right under my eye...after which it just falls down my nose. I hope I never need readingglasses.)
When I was a kid, I had a noticeable gap between my front teeth. It didn't really bother me, but I knew it was considered a flaw. Then when I was around ten, models started getting dental surgeries to get a tooth-gap, and I realized: Everyone will naturally be trendy at least once in their life. Now trends go so fast, I think we're all probably super trendy every couple of years. 😆
That's me with my full lips and eyelid. Many years ago I was always insecure about it and even searched for lip size reduction at the age of 12, because that's how much I was made fun of about it. And I somehow thought my eyelids are too full.
I've gotten a few witch jokes thrown at me for my nose and it took 1 friend telling me that my nose was "regal" for me to start seeing things differently. this video has given me the final push I need! New motto: " body parts are not a trend" thank you ❤❤❤
Wow I had nearly the same experience. A couple years ago I remember friends discussing halloween costumes and overhearing one joking to another that i should be a witch. They quieted down when i turned to look. Whenever I saw my profile i felt that comment in the back of my head. Then, on opening night of my first play, the girl doing my makeup, who looked very different than I do, complimented my "elegant, Roman" features ! I was shocked ! Now i carry both comments , knowing that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. it's the most important that one appreciates one's unique features the way one wishes to, not others ... and to prioritize a strong character first which will show in the expression
I used to hate my acne scars but people mistook them as freckles and complimented them. I stop caring about erasing them as much because I realized so many people either didn’t notice or even recognize what they were. Now i just take my “imperfections” as part of my natural charm.
I have a heavily freckled face and got made fun of it relentlessly in my childhood. Now everyone paints on freckles, its just an innocent trend but you can't help but resent those people when youve been through so much just by having them and now its a cute little trend that they get to wipe off when it becomes "unfashionable" I can only imagine how it is for POC and people of different cultures who have their features and cultural items made fashionable in this manner only to be seen as "out of style" when society is done using it
I'm always shocked when I see that freckles were/are considered ugly because I actually find them to be quite attractive and the more the merrier, same with red hair (bright sunset orange is my favorite natural shade to see on someone but any shade looks good IMO).
Same! I always liked my freckles, but I was bullied from them and most girls would hide them with makeup. It was so weird seeing them suddenly become fashionable. I had a similar shock when glasses suddenly became cool.
I've always admired freckles from a very early age, and lamented the fact that I didn't have any. My mother did and I thought she was very beautiful. I have continued to admire them thoughout my life and have never understood why some people say that they are ugly??? Where does that even come from? It's so arbitrary, but then again most beauty standards are completely arbitrary.
ive thought about this so much! also having freckles cover every inch of your face is very different to having perfect freckles just across the nose like most people paint on. ive wondered if its even made things worse, do young girls still get bullied because they dont have "the right" kind of freckles everyone is now used to seeing? now that most freckles you see are fake perfectly placed ones, not naturally scattered everywhere like alot of us have
Real excange I had with plastic surgeon. So I had to have reconstructive nose surgery and the surgeon with his collagues goes "and we will turn the nose up, so it looks better" and when I wanted to explain that I DO NOT wish to have upward pointing nose they laughed me off with "you dont know what you are talking about, also, you will regret that". I had to beg my father ( I was a minor then) to talk to them not to do that. A hooked- downward pointing nose is something like a signature for our family and I find it extremelly beutifull. The idea how close I was to losing something so personal just because it collides with current fashion still make me feel ill.
Having been around almost half a century, and watched beauty trends come and go, I'd like to reinforce two statements here: Western society in particular will always be looking for a way to profit from women's insecurities, and WILL manipulate us through media by starting and ending trends. The most attractive people I've met in all my travels have not all had the same features, but a light in their eyes, confidence without condensation, and interesting personalities. I'm a woman but I'm bisexual so you have both viewpoints there! Attitude, intelligence, posture, and how you treat those around you actually make more of a difference than the shape of your face. Those things are free and steadfast. Great video!!
If you think western society is bad with taking advantage if women's insecurities just take a look at east Asia, the plastic surgery business is massive there
@@archygrey9093 yup, and look at russian "influencers" to see the WORST plastic surgery being celebrated. East also gets weird when it comes to skin colors, something mostly not allowed to judge people by in the West anymore, but skin whitening creams and procedures are a big deal in Asia.
I recently had a customer tell me I was "gorgeous" and was completely flabbergasted. I thanked them, but for the rest of the day I kept questioning it; "but my hair is under a hair net", "I just had a breakout", "maybe they're just being nice?". It took me a while to simply accept the compliment at face value. I was so focused on all the reasons I may not be considered beautiful, that I didn't even think about the reasons that I could be. It was a huge eye opener for me, and I try a little more each day to see myself in the way that kind stranger did. Edit: I have a bump in my nose too! It was a huge insecurity growing up, and sometimes even now. I'm trying to consider it more as a "feature" rather than a "flaw".
A weird downside of rampant cosmetic surgery is that if you have one of the currently trendy body parts, people presume it's because you had work done. I have a naturally small, straight nose, yet it makes me oddly self-conscious because of how many people quietly assume it's "fake" just because it fits the current trend.
My husband has been staring at my lips lately and asking if I had something done. I'm like THE FUCK?! Like babe, omg he's known my face for 18 years. But I do wonder if people think I did something to my arse because it's so big and round. One - Greek genetics, two - I workout 🎶 and with my face again, genetics and skincare and not smoking or sun bathing.
Honestly, as annoying as this is...most people would happily trade their 'non-trendy' features with your small noses and big lips. Even if it meant some people thought they were fake. Most of us mere mortals would love to know what it feels like to have a feature so perfect people don't believe it could be natural haha
Yeah, I'm overweight with super defined cheekbones; if I were to lose weight, I would probably look like I had the buccal fat removal thing. In reality, it's just something inherited by my grandma.
Something I’ve been paying more attention to especially with faces is the way things don’t move anymore. My gym was playing a random 80s teen movie the other day. Now even with the fact that the cast was mostly young white people who could be considered conventionally attractive for the time, the diversity of their faces and how they moved struck me. They were young and their faces could crinkle in ways that would be frozen with botox today. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. Compare that to the modern media I watch now. People in the spotlight just don’t look like that anymore. These convention exist for a (stupid and societal) reason now and I’m not discounting personal choice but I can’t get it out of my head.
I think almost daily about how grateful I am to have gotten all the way through school/puberty before social media really took off. Yes, bodies themselves have been the trend for the past half a century or so, but it really feels like it’s shifted so much even just in the last 5-10 years. Like someone else mentioned, the body positivity movement having been bastardized and co-opted by many people to define pretty much the opposite of its origin is so scary. Putting any inherent birth-given permanent trait on a temporary pedestal is so scary.
I feel the same way. I am going to be 34 and sometimes I get caught up in hou much I hate my nose lol. I can't imagine how much worse I would feel about myself if we had social media when I was younger
@@brittney4513 I totally empathize, and I’m sure you have a great nose 😭 at least we used to be able to go home at the end of the day and mostly detach, you know? Now it’s literally 24/7 people feeling entitled to eachothers lives in a way that’s so incessant and so extra it’s no surprise that every single thing winds up scrutinized and ultimately viewed in a negative light.
@@Marcel_Audubon bestie they make apps to train your reading comprehension you’ve got this 💛 just to make it a little easier for you I’ll repeat myself: I said I think daily about how *grateful* I am to have escaped the worst of social media induced self hatred. Not that I think daily about how much I hate myself. I live in a world where I have to interact with technology pretty much daily, so yes, witnessing its ill effects happens often. You seem very committed to perpetuating corny passive aggression on the internet, and the irony of doing it here is not working for you the way you think it is.
@@E42545 yeah, dearie, I understood you the first time ... guessing you know about apps to train your reading comprehension based upon your own need for them? I never implied you had self hatred (don't really care if you do or don't, rando) just making the point that if you're still thinking about the whole thing _daily_ there's something going on there . Good luck on your continued journey to approach minimally acceptable levels of reading comprehension! You're evidently not there yet, but I'm sure you'll get there one day, sweetpea!!
Two of those books from the 1890s remind me of Anne of Green Gables. She tried to bleach her freckles and she was jealous of Diana's round face and dimples, which she thought were weight-related. Also, Amy in Little Women put a clothespin on her nose to lengthen it. I guess tweens were made just as insecure back then as now. Lol
I'll never forget a girl in middle school making fun of my oily skin and how shiny I was. I'll also never forget scrolling Instagram nearly 10 years later to see her in full "dewy highlighted glam". It's definitely hard in the moment, especially as a preteen and teenager, but you can't let those things get to you. What's "beautiful" and "in style" changes so quickly that you'd have a new face and body every 5-10 years if you tried to change to keep up. Our bodies change on their own so drastically any way, that if you just let yourself finish developing, you might just realize that keeping up with the Jones (or the Kardashians....) is really for the birds and you've been beautiful this whole time
I'm happy that when I was younger I found The Uglies Trilogy. These books were ahead of the time in terms of plastic surgery. This was also the first time that as a kid/teen I read about wanting to grow to your mother/father face. And the character that teach that has "imperfect" nose, that he refuse to change. Great books.
Scott Westerfeld just finished a new series in the Uglies universe, it’s worth a read :) takes place 20 years after the mind-rain, I’m almost finished the last book. I too, read the series when I was a preteen, and it was amazing!
i actually read Uglies and really enjoyed it. not only was it ahead of its time but i feel it was definitely so much more well written than so many of the other YA books that were popular at the time
@@lrizzard I agree. I think that, like Suzanne Collins with the Hunger Games, Scott actually had a real idea behind his books, rather than trying to ride the wave of dystopian popularity. His new series involves new tech that we are facing moral conundrums about, such as AI and mood altering medications, without going full doomsday about it, which is refreshing. Again, I feel like he has something to say, not just reviving a series for the sake of easy money. Edit to say that Uglies came out three years BEFORE the Hunger Games, so really, he wasn’t riding a wave at all, since the dystopian YA boom was after the success of HG.
As a fellow non-fashionable, bump-in-the-nose gal, I have had the exact same experience and growing to accept my nose (which isn’t even something I feel every day) gave me the same passionate hatred for how plastic surgery is erasing the quirks and character from faces. Soon, celebrities’s faces will leave us with the same impression as driving through an American suburb where every house looks the exact same.
Obviously body parts being "trendy" is stupid in itself, but at least in the last century, "fashionable" body shapes/parts changed like every 10-15 years, but now all it takes is a year, and we're going from bbl's to heroin chic again.
And the fashionable body shapes were achieved by clothing, and I would argue they weren't actually pretending to have a body shaped like that (who would believe anyone would have the hip and but as wide as those skirt cages and pillows made them look?). I feel like it was more for the fun of it? Idk. But definitely very different from what happens today.
I used to think the term was "heroine chic" Even after learning what heroin was and knowing that a lot of models do drugs, I never connected the dots until I saw it written out 😂
@@joiceraiana Heroin chic is definitely making a comeback. The buckle fat removal and thin brow is the trend now which that alone gives heroin chic, plus people are removing their bbls and face fillers. Not to mention, I've been seeing these runway looks from different designers and all are definitely giving heroin chic.
The "natural beauty" part is always funny to me. My sister has natural bleach blond hair and natural dark eyebrows (she looks like Elsa from Frozen). Over the years several "experts" on blond hair have voiced their opinions about her obvious fake looks and it's always hilarious when it happens. Recently a hair dresser was explaining to her that she could obviously tell that my sister had bleached her hair herself and that she destroyed it and so on. People judge her a lot and think of her as a dumb blonde, which is honestly quite hurtful. I understand that it's quite a rare look to have naturally, but maybe stop shaming people and stop assuming you know everything?
Blonde hair + dark brows and lashes runs in my family. My aunt once got slapped across the face because “you’re too young to be wearing that trashy makeup.” (She was maybe 14 and this was the early 50’s.) My hair has darkened as I’ve aged, but I definitely appreciate never feeling like I had to bother with eyeliner/mascara.
I has a friend in a high school who has very light, almost white hair, but dark, thick eyebrows and black eyes. But he is a guy, so nobody had a problem with his look or assumed that it may be fake. Everybody accepted it instantly and without a doubt despite he was so unique. I have just curly hair and heard that it cannot be natural many, many times.
@@eiPderF half of my every single eyelash is blond, i have light golden-like brown hair but somehow my eyelashes are half-blonde, they look short when they are not covered in mascara
Hi Karolina, French person here. "Soubrette" actually means "maid", so the criticism of small, upturned noses, was rooted in classism more than a distinction between children and adult women. Thank you for this video, I myself have a big, hooked nose, and it's been a journey to learn to love it.
Like Chelsea Peretti? I love the nose on her. She is insecure about it, I think, but I would be absolutely distraught if she'd change it, it makes her look fierce.
Growing up in the heroine chic of the 1990s, I had a hell of a time with my thighs. Thicc with muscle and jiggling fat. I had to do my best by telling myself I had a body that was shaped by generations of viking raids to be able to last through famine, never fall on the ice, and be able to pull a plow after the ox dies of exertion.
I have a body that's preprogrammed to store fat, make and feed babies, and I love historical costuming. Hence, when I dress up in my costume clothes, I look like Mother Goose. I'm just grateful to have some things I like to wear.
I felt it when you mentioned having curly hair in the 90s (and 00s). I was so jealous of people with straight hair. I was also built thicker in my teens than what was idealized, and I hated my face -- my cheek fat, my chin fat, the shape of my forehead. Then a few years ago I saw a family photo during the height of my ugly phase. I looked completely normal. My face wasn't doughy, my hair wasn't lame, my shoulders weren't masculine. I felt so much compassion for my younger self then. I try to keep her in mind when I dunk on my chin fat nowadays.
Karolina there's a tiny child in the depths of my soul that was ridiculed for "trying too hard" or "trying at all" when she just wanted to look nice and wear a dress or put her hair up once in a while all throughout school. "When's the funeral?" "Why are you bothering when we know you're ugly under there?" That child feels seen and safe watching this video, so thank you.
Karolina's video about beauty standards from a year ago (??) is what made me kind of realise that fashion, ultimately, is ever changing and was one of the things that really helped with how I viewed my body. I think this video is just as important as that one and I'll keep living and loving my body as it is - societal beauty standards don't mean shit!!!
it's always fascinating for me how the tone of the voice changes COMPLETELY when one switches from Polish to English or English to Polish in a conversation. I feel like the tonation is so drastically different that it could be mistaken as two different people speaking which blows my mind!!!
Год назад+61
I feel like it’s because I use different parts of my throat for different languages? It’s weird!
@ yeah it's absolutely fascinating!! for me the biggest difference seems to be between polish and english because when I speak French my voice doesn't really change. if only linguistics was as interesting academically (niestety nie jest)
so I always thought Karolina is stunning. her pointing out her nose and saying that she was self-conscious about it made me realize literally *everyone* regardless of how gorgeous they are has something they dislike about themselves.
I remember at this camp as adults, women had an idea "let's all wear makeup today" and we shared stuff we had this time together. Guys were sitting at the campfire. One of them came by us after our makeup session and said "girls, ach, you are all so naturally beautiful" 😂 we laughed so hard. He didn't see us getting the makeup.
The difference between fashion back in the day and now is that we used to achieve fashionable silhouettes threw clothing. Nowadys, this is almost impossible, since our clothes are so tight and cover so little unlike the ones in the past. We were able to create wildly diffrent shapes and forms on the exact same body with the help of corsetts, padding, multiple layers of fabric and more. Today it is like you said - our body parts have become fashion items. We treat our bodies like products and not like the temple of our soul like we used to. Not only are our clothes cheap and mass produced, our bodies are too.
@@jUQMtDmf We are talking about modern fashion, so past WW2 era. Oversized jeans and yoga pants fall into the same category of modern clothing that has no boning/layering of the past.
@@jUQMtDmf exactly 💯 I think tight jeans and t shirt was a little 2013 kinda thing. I think they mean most people still wear tight clothes and skinny jeans because they don't know what is actually trending.
TBF even when the sillouhettes were more achievable, there were always people who for whatever reason couldn't achieve them even with the padding and corseting (fat people, the disabled, those too tall, or too short ect). Plus a lot of the fashions were about other things like face shape, skin tone, hair ect
Ugh, this video hits SO CLOSE TO HOME for me. I grew up in the 1990s-2010s, and thin lines were all the rage: thin body, thin lips, thin brows... And I was always on the curvy side. Big bottom, thick thighs, full lips, full brows, round face... I always heard that I looked fat (even thsoe times I wasn't) or "disproportionate". Then, out of nowhere, my body was fashionable. I felt more offended than flattered, and people would get annoyed at that, saying I should be glad I have "the ideal body" and "how lucky I am". No, fam, it was just my body's turn. And this time around the hype lasted less than a decade.
Yes growing up in that time and hitting puperty was wild. I was so confused why all the others girls had a straighter waist and skinier body. I thought my hips were just fatter. Around 2015 a friend pointed out how I have a really small waist in comparisson to others and then it clicked. I was not fat I just had curves and then it became a trend was not picked on for a while and now some people dare to bodyshame curvy girls again. Even in my anorexic periode I was curvy, even tho it was a curvy stick ( Personally do not know a girl prior to 2015 that did not had some kind of eating disorder to fit into these crazy standarts).
You really nailed the issue here: a demand for expensive procedures is artificially created and then changed every so often so people will keep getting procedures. And if it's not procedures, then it's make up items, or clothing, and so on. And the sad part is, those are all things that ideally should empower people and give them the means to express themselves on a personal level, and yet are turned into just another source of anxiety and sense of inadequacy.
I've always had a wild, bushy, unibrow, and I remember being SHOCKED as kid when I learned that unibrows were considered beautiful in several different cultures (ancient Greece, Persia, japan, etc.) I doubt it'll ever be a beauty trend, but maybe someday I'll have the self confidence to rock my natural Freida Kahlo brow, edit: unibrow havers of the world unite!
My family, particularly my mom, were big into teasing me about my unibrow. I had an ex who did the same. I’m more than happy to keep my eyebrows unchanged.
I've never liked shaving. My partner has a slight preference for unshaved, although he really doesn't care either way. (He just thinks being attracted to shaving is a little weird, since leg, armpit, and body hair are signs that you've been through puberty. Wanting to not have those things on a partner seems odd to him.) I never liked shaving, but my mom taught me that I should care about my appearance, and shave or cover up. I ended up just not owning any shorts, and only shaving when I was going to wear a knee length dress to church, or if I went swimming Now I never shave. If my partner doesn't care, I suddenly realized that I don't need to care either, and everyone else can just suck it. Even if I lost my partner, I hope I would never shave unless I really felt like it, not to avoid scrutiny. I hope you someday are able to rock your unibrow, but if you don't, you are still wonderful. Being self-conscious about one thing because you were told to do so is not really your fault. Humans are genetically disposed to care about what people think about us. It has kept us safe in the past, so you're brain is trying to keep you safe, even if it's not logical anymore.
If anyone wants to argue that facial shapes are more of a "high fashion" trend than a "mainstream" trend, I would like to remind everyone that every freaking Disney channel star (well, the girls anyway) in the early-/mid-00s had the exact same heart-shaped face. I remember noticing it, even in my teens & early twenties. It's definitely A Thing.
It gets even weirder than that: child stars are all one type then as adults they don't get much work because the kids who are considered cute because of face shape are not considered attractive adults having the same, but matured, face. This even leads to young versions of characters played by child actors who look nothing like the adult version because you need to have one type as a kid and another as a grown-up. It is insane!
I feel like the blessing of my thirties beginning was finally realizing that I do what I like dress how I like do my makeup how I like, trends be dmned. If I’m comfortable and happy, then frankly my dear I couldn’t give a damn about what everyone thinks is “cool”. Must be so hard to be a teenager these days.
My life started in my thirties, too. I found the courage and knowledge to try out how I want to look. (Turns out I'm a Nazgûl ^^) The only thing I would remark is: I wouldn't compare our teenage years to those of the current generation. It's neither better nor worse now. It's just diffrent. I just got into Make up in my mid 20s, because I had no one to show me. And Make up turned out to be one of my favorite ways to express myself.
I was homeschooled through my teenage years (24 right now), which mercifully protected me from a lot of the peer pressure that makes kids feel like they have to be cool/trendy. It was really weird to experience from "the other side" as a fellow teenager. Even in college, my friends would look at me like I was an alien whenever I expressed a lack of interest in the current trends, and chalk it up to me being "sheltered".
@@Shadeadder For me it was the other way around. I tried very hard not to be noticed. If I put on make up or dress "pretty", people might think I try to be beautiful and would pitty my feeble attempts. I wasn't bullied or anything. It was just a weired trick my mind played. And I'm in a better head space now.
Same here. I hit 31 (34 now) and somehow all the concern I used to have about the fact that I'm not particularly attractive kinda melted away over the course of a few months. Even with changing beauty standards I've still always been roughly a 5/10 and at this point I'm very very comfortable with that and anyone who doesn't like it is free to dislike it; doesn't matter to me. Anyone who dislikes ME because they think I'm unattractive is not worth my time.
@@cakeeeetime isn’t it so weird that when you come into your 30s you just stop caring about that crap. Iv pretty much stopped caring about many things and believe what I do and do what makes me happy. It’s quite lovely.
I work in the fashion industry in NY, and worked with countless models. One model in particular, very pretty girl, told me she had a nose job and had to literally recreate her entire portfolio because her face was so different. I looked at her old pictures, her nose was STUNNING before (she was middle eastern) and she had such a regal and unique look. Her nose now, yeah might be “up to standard” and yeah it looked fine, but her old nose was such a better look for her not only as a model but also for her heritage and where she came from. I didn’t say this to her face, but now she looked like every other olive skin, dark haired girl in the industry. There was nothing unique about her anymore. Too harsh to say but I think she probably heard it from others too. Sad reality. Whatever it was her choice…
It’s sad she did that because I always think of runway models as more striking than conventionally beautiful, because the clothes are supposed to be the focus rather than the model, and a dramatic or ethereal quality would only add to effect of the show.
Marlo Thomas is a prime example of that. She was pressured into getting a nose bob in order to break into show business. If you look at photos of her younger self, her Roman nose fit her and gave her classic beauty look. Her new tiny, button nose always looked "off" on her. At least they didn't pressure her to "go blonde" to compete with the other blonde bombshell starlets of that era! It also appears she refused to get implants to "fit in" with the fashion trending look of that era.
When I was a kid, I read a lot of books of collected fairy tales. One of those books was a book of Russian fairy tales, and one of the stories in that book was about three beautiful sisters. It had an illustration that showed three girls who were obviously fat. I was surprised by this and asked my mother about it and she said that was considered beautiful back then. That was when I first learned about beauty standards changing over time. Also, it was at a time when I was starting to become fat myself, so I found it personally interesting.
I draw a lot, and I find that whenever I draw a feature I start to find it more attractive. Honestly, it’s really helped me with my confidence, because I see so many things as beautiful that it’s alien to think that others wouldn’t. (I’ve yet to find a nose type that I don’t think is beautiful, honestly. They all are)
My friend of mine is an artist. Once I told her that I hated my nose cause it was big, had a large bump and it wasn't like the "standard cute small" nose. Then she confessed to me that in class she'd secretly draw my nose all the time cause she thought it was so lovely, unique and regal. I can't tell you how much that boosted my confidence and I'm happy to say I love my nose now!
This is how I feel! Not because of drawing, but I find myself genuinely thinking every single woman I see is absolutely stunning in her own way, and I can’t really fathom the concept of an “ugly” woman, and to think a lot of women feel insecure about themselves despite how beautiful they are breaks my heart
People who can’t breathe properly talk about having small nostrils Also, one of the reasons I love the Anne of Green Gables book series, she hates her hair and her freckles the most, but overtime she comes to like them. Sure, she might’ve had to dye her hair green, and paint her face red to realize that she should just learn to live with what she looks like, but she learned to nonetheless.
Watching this video, after the 1897 nose description I thought about Anne exactly! Having read that everyone thinks she has a pretty nose I had imagined it like the little "cute" upturned noses popular today- but now I'm reconsidering what her nose would have actually looked like if the 1897 nose was truly what was "attractive" at the time
I'm only 25 years old I have noticed these rapid changes as well. In the 2000s when I was still a child, everyone around me was convinced I was the height of beauty with my round face, skinny body and western features such a blue eyes and blonde hair. But as soon as the 2010s rolled around and I was a teenager all my features started to be considered less attractive. I didn't have the curves, my face was too round, my lips were too thin, etc. etc. The only things going for me were my thick eyebrows for which I was being teased when I was younger. Now, I'm in my 20s my body type and overall look started to become fashionable again. Though, my face is still too round and my nose considered to big, I can definitely feel the change on how I am perceived, how I fit on the current scale on beauty and it's just all so f-ed up. As a woman you are constantly on the merry-go-around waiting for your natural features to be attractive again or get enhancement to fit the current beauty standard. The older I get the more I care less about was is considered the 'beauty standard'. There is no real beauty standard, they are only trends that change every five years or so and either you have it or not. I'm glad for the people whose features finally do get celebrated, but I am also worried that we take ethnic features and make them trends for mostly white people to indulge in. I really wish we would finally allow people, especially women, to just look like people. We all come in so many different shapes and seizes, it is ridiculous to constantly reinvent what beauty is and narrow it down to such a small fracture of features.
so true. I talked to many guys who said they wanted a " natural " girl. When shown a girl with no makeup they would say she was ugly, when shown a girl who was wearing makeup that was earthtoned they thought she wasnt wearing any makeup.Once I pointed out how a girl was wearing makeup and I was told by several guys I was wrong ( like Im not a girl and know? ) and I was just jealous. When they came upon her in the store wearing no make up, they didnt reconize her. I had to start her talking about things and get her interacting with them so it actually registered with them that they knew her. They didnt admit I was right, there was no acknowledgement regarding how they could have misjudged other girls....they were just mad at me saying I had ruined their fantasy of her for them and couldnt look at her the same after that. This showed me not only could guys not see makeup and didnt understand how girls looked naturally, they didnt want to.
I've tried to explain this to my husband. What he considers a lot of makeup is simply color and application choices made, not actually more makeup. I'll have to do a 50/50 of my face at some point, to show him what I mean.
I have experienced the same thing and for me, it was also the boobs on a woman that made them (the boys, friends and my boyfriend) like the women over me. I once paused a movie, when the boys were cónstantly saying how gorgeous, sophisticated, beautiful, dreamgirly this woman looked. So I paused it, took a cartboard folder and made them all shut their eyes. I covered her chest on the tv-screen and made them open their eyes. They instantly didn't like her face anymore. And then they were angry at me for pulling that trick.
@@Widdekuu91 Literally like how Dr.Doofenshmirtz can't recognize Perry with his hat off but instead of Perry it's women and instead of hat it's makeup
Oh your face sideways reminds me so much of Madam X painted by John Singer Sargent! And I was obsessed with his painting for some years, especially for Ms. Gautreau's unique nose !
So often I discuss cosmetic surgery and beauty trends with friends and they feel like the conversation is over once they say "broadly it's bad that we have trends but one person can find it empowering to change their looks." The thing is that fitting in with a trend may make someone happier (until the trend changes which it absolutely will) but it is always braver and more interesting to choose ugliness or even better total fashion obliviousness. Edit: Also as a member of various queer communities online and off for over a decade, the standards are so different. The more queer a community is, the weirder they get with it, which is a true blessing as I age and learn more about what I want to look like in a space that has far fewer and quieter opinions on the subject.
Agreed. It seems like people are really scared to step on any toes when talking about this subject, but the problem is that we NEED to step on some toes. If we cut this BS and people learned to truly love and be comfortable in their bodies, there will be a very real financial loss for several industries. To love and accept yourself exactly as you are is inherently disruptive. And like Karolina touched on, it is very much skewed towards women, which is another aspect of this conversation that I find woefully lacking online.
I think a lot of people here are forgetting that humans as a species are extremely social and are wired to want to fit in with whatever group or society we're a part of whether we like it or not and when one feels like they don't fit in it's generally quite emotionally painful, this includes fitting into commonly accepted beauty standards. I agree with the idea of telling people that they should embrace their own unique features and ignore society, but this is a much more difficult task than you seem to realize since you're basically asking someone to make themself a social outcast for the sake of making a point and many people just aren't able to do that.
@@peggedyourdad9560 It's not just for the sake of making a point though. That's part of it of course, but at least for me, to a large extent it's also about evening the way for other people down the line. I have dark hair and don't shave (at all, but you mostly notice it on my legs, in the summer), which severely bothers my Dad (even now, though it's been over a decade) and has led to all kinds of unpleasant discussions with my parents. My Dad always said if I could point out to him a single random person in public/at the swimming pool/etc who had noticeable leg hair, he'd agree to put the issue to rest. I'm probably never gonna change my Dad's mind and after many years have made my peace with that, but I severely hope that I have been or will one day get to be the example another young girl growing up can point to and save her from years of tedious and hurtful debates around the dinner table The problem with such overpowering beauty standards is (usually) not the thing itself, it's when it becomes so pervasive and expected that it casts a negative light on anyone not following them. There's no problem if some people decide to cover the rings under their eyes with make-up, but it becomes one when so many people do it that if you don't, you seem "strangely" or "excessively" tired. And if some women feel more empowered if they remove every single hair on their body except on the top of their head, it's great for them, just as long as it's not such a critical mass that *not* doing so means you're talked of as lazy or disresepctful of other's comfort or unhygienic.
If I ever look fashionable it's gonna be a coincidence 😂 I do what looks good on me according to me and couldn't change myself. I'd look like shit if I was following trends. I've had the same hairstyle everyday for years.
So wild that blepharoplasty has become a fashion trend. Some members of my family have ptosis, which seems to be passed along genetically. Basically, their upper eyelid droops as they age until vision is partially obstructed. My father recently had a blepharoplasty because he was starting to have trouble seeing. So bizzare to see that this kind of procedure has become a fashion trend!
I spent my early teens being bullied for my big brows to spend my late teens being parised by how "full and beautiful" they are. Each compliment reminded me of an insult i'd recieved over them and made me angry, not pleased. Had I plucked them off when thin was fashion I wouldn't have had them when thick came to fashion. And now that "thin" is coming back and I don't care what people think I cannot help but feel for the young teens who do care and will be told their features are "wrong" And I truly wouldn't change my round cheeks for the sunken look that will be unfashionable later
I just love the mentality of men "I prefer women that are natural!" 🙄 I remember until this day when I was in high school, I wore makeup every day. I heard countless of times from my male classmates (including my boyfriend at the time) how much they looove when girls are "all natural" and wear no make up. One day I was almost late for a school bus so I decided to skip doing makeup at home and take my products with me to school, to do my makeup in the bathroom when I'm free. When my male classmates saw me they looked at me with genuine and oblivious concern asking "Are you okay? You look sick!" That day made me realize that these dumb boys have absolutely no idea how a girl/woman with no makeup ACTUALLY looks like - they wish we looked like actresses in movies, when they wear "no makeup" but in reality they have layers of foundation and other products to imitate the "natural" look. In the end no matter what you do with your look as a girl/woman you ALWAYS lose. No make up - wrong, Wearing make up - also wrong...
Oh my gosh....my classmate had a similar situation. The priest (it was on religion) told that girl: [her name], are you ok? You look very sick, you shouldnt have come to school today!". And when she told him she just didnt wear makeup, he still insisted that she's sick. They really expect us to look like models...
Tbf, normal for me is what you look like everyday, if my friend's skin color changed in one specific day I would ask her if she's sick 100%. If you wear so much makeup people have no idea of what you look like without it, aren't you addicted to it?
Yes, I ran into this issue many times. Natural beauty to a lot of men means women who are conventionally attractive and wear earthy makeup. I think this is more common in younger men, though. I recently posted a picture of myself (in my mid 30s) on my dating profile without makeup, and men my age and older don't seem to care as much.
When I was 20, I went to visit my family in Thailand. The different beauty standards, especially around light skin, really helped to reframe my perspective on beauty. Coming from the aggressive tanning culture of American IG, it really helped to reframe my view. It was so eye opening to the objective & arbitrary nature of beauty standards. What is considered beautiful depends on when & where you live. It’s all made up.
As a freckled lady who has always loved her freckles, it has been very interesting for me to see it become a trend. However, even in recent years, whenever I've had my make up professionally done (mostly for weddings), I have to specifically request that the MUA not cover them up. Otherwise, they end up giving me full coverage foundation because they assume I want them gone. The same goes for my sisters.
No seriously. It seriously seems like its only fashionable to have specifically FAKE freckles. The fake ones are so obvious that you can’t even confuse them for real ones lol
I think you might be on to something there. Fake freckles are fashionable because they're delicately (and sparingly) placed. Natural freckles definitely don't have the same aesthetic. Still, I love my face the way it is.
This is exactly why the freckle trend kind of creeped me out! I remember when some of my friends were bullied for having freckles and then everyone was tattooing freckles to their faces without a single apology to the people they bullied in their youth!
And I have a funny story of my life: when I was a teenager (about 13 years old) I was upset because of my large butt. I was crying because I had a big ass and a toned, fit body was in fashion these days (2000s'). But when I reached my 20s it turned out that my butt is now fashionable and everyone was jelaous! Its crazy and I am glad that I'm an adult now and I dont really care about fashioable beauty standards. I think it is really difficult to be teenager nowadays (bc of instagram, the popularity of plastic surgeries etc.)
What I have distilled from all of this personally is: don't overdo it. If you want to look your best in any time period, accentuate your "best" features, but don't try to change anything fundamental. Of course, working on your confidence and personality to make them shine is the biggest!
i've struggled with body dysmorphia a lot of my life so i have never been able to tell what my nose truly looks like. i've gotten a lot better in recent years but i still struggle to define what is sitting in the middle of my face. as a result, i am hyper aware of other people nose and so intrigued by the vast array of shapes and sizes and lengths. i have never found a nose i don't like and i'm looking forward to the day i can finally recognize my own and give it the love that me and my nose deserve
This video pretty much sums up why I've never really cared about current beauty standards. I'm a plus size, round faced, curly haired Jewish woman, so I know that no matter how hard I try, it will always be unattainable for me. Plus, I like how I look, and I'm not going to change myself just because someone else has opinions on how I _should_ look.
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This was absolutely BRILLIANT Karolina! Erudite, interesting and so, so on point! We women judge each other so cruelly. We are brutal to each other. We bully each other. We say the most hurtful things to each other! Why? Because you aren't whatever the hell the definition of beauty is this month! It's certainly not a new thing. We've always been that way. And will continue to be so as long as we judge each other by looks alone. I'm old(ish) and I weep for women today. We had each other, tv and fashion mags to judge each other about. Now, women have the entire gawddamn WORLD judging them. It's impossible!
I'm a child of the 70's, and we eschewed make-up, had loooong hair, wore androgenous clothing (jeans were a must) or anything from super-mini to maxi skirts. Cotton & linen were big, but so was suede.
I wore only mascara. Maybe, on a date~some (blue) eyeshadow and blush.
We hippies embraced the natural look. But still there was judgement!
*sigh*
Hello 👋 👋 from Jenn in Canada 🇨🇦 🇨🇦 🇨🇦
@GM I… I believe it’s her natural skin, also RUclips lighting, also did you not… learn anything from the video about loving who you are and what you look like now…?
oh god, even you're selling out to stupid mobile games now ... sigh
@GM it’s mostly the camera/lighting/color grading, my skin doesn’t look like that irl
@@anni3805 Cant' she do whatever she pleases without being judged for it?
I got serious whiplash in 2016 when people were suddenly complimenting my thick eyebrows after years of being teased for them. I remember telling my mom and she said it reminded her of suddenly getting compliments on her curly hair in the 80s after growing up being told her hair was ugly and unkempt. It never ends.
I had the same happen & it was bizarre! Getting compliments on how much work I must have put in to get my eyebrows looking so full. I don't even comb them. I don't wear make up either (too much effort & disxomfort when I can't even see it so I don't see the point). When I was at school I had a friend pretty much beg me to let her pluck my eyebrows to get them looking "better" so I wouldn't be teased as much and I just refused. So getting complimented later? Was so weird! And I also had someone compliment me on my application of my "very natural looking make up, particularly the blush" when walking through the make up section of John Lewis with my Mum. She was the sales person & just thought I'd done an incredible job. Told her I didn't actually wear make up and the look of shock and confusion passing over her face. It was just cold out & I'm particularly prone to blushing 🤣
I had the same thing happen, but more with my figure than my face-- I grew up during the super-skinny, flat-butt trend. I had a curvy figure from a young age and felt insecure about it. Sure enough, curves came into fashion when I was a teenager, and I was suddenly getting compliments for my figure.
One second they tell you you're fat and you need to lose weight, and then the next they tell you that you should "show off your figure more." I'm glad that I went through that then because I realized that what really mattered was how I saw my body, and not whether it complied with the current fashion.
Yes! This was me. I have very curly hair and thick eyebrows. I went from being bullied to “beautiful” overnight. It was the most bizarre thing I’ve ever experienced, BUT it opened my eyes as a young adult to the same topic of this video. Beauty is a trend. So I have done my own thing since then. I would love to see bodies no longer being viewed as something of that should fit into a specific mold. It’s madness when you think about it. We are ALL unique. Why can’t we celebrate that?? Because it doesn’t make companies $ that’s why. It’s tragic for young women and I dream of a world where it’s not a focus anymore. If nothing else, we can raise our daughters not to care and to embrace their uniqueness forever and always ❤
It really doesn't end. My mom told me recently that the freckles I get in summer are from my grandma, I just didn't know because apparently she lotioned them away?! When I go on insta nowadays it tries to shove reels at me of how to make freckles with make up
Same. I was born in the early 2000's, and as a little kid I was already being made fun of for my eyebrows, by kids my age and adults. As soon as Cara Delevigne and Lily Collins got popular, in the early 2010's, everything changed. The same girls who made fun of me were trying their best to grow eyebrows as thick as mine.
I used to hate my figure until it suddenly conformed to beauty standards and I was literally being told it was "the perfect body" while I was dealing with chronic pain and partial dislocations. Then in the last 2 years I dropped 10kg from uncontrollable vomiting, just in time to read that 'Heroin Chic' is coming back into fashion. The fact that my body is actually falling apart completely outside of my control, and that same body is still considered "desirable", is the most unbelievably uncomfortable dichotomy for me.
God, I totally get that. I'm in a similar situation right now with being seen as desirable even though I'm falling apart ❤ sorry if this was weird
I lost cheekfat due to a thyroidproblem, also dropped 10 kilos and while literally my trousers fell down to my knees (luckily I wore a longer tunic) and I put them back on, I explained that I had a hospitalappoinment and bloodcheck that week and a girl said "I don't know, I like your face better this way."
I mean, I don't want it to stay this way. Sporty and frail is different from "my muscles are gone, I cannot lift this bag" frail. I will admit, the first 5 kilos I lost were no problem, but then it was no longer funny and it just makes you feel weak, like a waterbottle with no water in it.
I was a slightly chubby kid, grew less so with age (to a fairly average size) but then lost weight quite rapidly in my early 20s due to health issues. It was such a strange thing being simultaneously (stupidly) happy about fitting more into societal beauty standards but also miserable in my body from a health perspective and angry when complemented on how “healthy” I looked just because I was slimmer. It became so apparent that “healthy” was the acceptable version to say instead of “I think you’re prettier now that you’re thinner”.
At least in times past the desirable look was openly labeled as being that of someone who was dying or very frail and poor of health. I'm sorry you have to deal with all those health problems and I hope you're able to get help in a timely manner.
So true! My aunts have natural red hair (like me) and they were teased growing up. I have the same shade and people would come to my mother and ask if they could bring me to a salon so they could have the hairdresser dye the same shade. (This actually happened.)
I'm a black girl with thick eyebrows, a big butt, and full lips, and I was teased mercilessly about these things when I was a kid. Thank you for pointing out the absurdity of body parts/types as 'trends'. It's all just so ridiculous.
while im not black, i've always had a big butt and was always told that that was me being "fat" (because 2000s ofc) and now suddenly they're trendy? but they're also being replaced by another trend anyway, its a never-ending cycle
I can't believe we've reached a point of LADY GAGA being criticised for being unconventional with her looks. You know, after she made her entire career out of refusing to conform to trends
@Lost pelican still, people were gagged. Apparently they forgot about bowie, grace jones... but I can remember that Gaga was controversial here in my country for the looks and themes
@@abrilvonbunny6205 there were "allegations" that she was a trans woman and that she had penis simply because she refuse to conform to these trends. her response made me love her so much.
@Lost pelican most things have already been done before because the earth is old af.
@Lost pelican show me another meat dress NOW!!!
and Natalia Dyer being called masculine and that she should get surgery to "feminize" her jawline
UGHHH
As a person whose nose could probably be no further from the current beauty standard, I promised myself to never get a nose job because I don't want kids to feel about themselves the way I felt growing up.
Same. I've got four kids, and there's no way I would "fix" something about myself that may very well end up as one of their features. My nose bump is larger than karolina's, and my nose is slightly crooked - it's my nose, and I've come to like it. And, you know what? I actually like larger and more interesting noses on other people; it's what I'm attracted to. 🤷♀️
What is your nose like?
One of my favorite photos is a side profile picture with my dad, taken in the moment. You can see how alike we are and after seeing that pic, how I think about about my nose changed gradually.
That's a great mindset. It bothers me when people rant about beauty standards but then, when it comes to plastic surgery, it's like "oh, if the person really wants it, if it gives them confidence"...
Trends exist because people follow them. We lose our right to complain if we are contributing to the problem by erasing our own untrendy features
I'm a representative of the "big nosed women" 😅
I have a tiny little nose. It’s probably the only thing on my body that could be described as tiny (I’m just under 6 feet tall) and when I was a kid the other kids would say I looked like a piglet. Then as an adult people would comment that I have “a nose people pay good money for”. You literally can’t please anyone. You are who you are and you’ve got what you got.
Late to the party, but something that has always stuck with me regarding aging and beauty is the way that your face is SUPPOSED to age. It means you've used it. All the women in my mother's family have deep lines around their mouth. My mom pointed out that mine started to appear earlier than hers did (I was only 23), but she said that's because I'd smiled a lot more than she got to in her childhood. I mentioned that to one of my friends when we were talking about getting old once, and she burst into tears because she thought it was beautiful that signs of getting old could come from joy instead of suffering.
I just turned 30 and, while I've always been told I look much younger, I've started to get self conscious about the deep lines around my mouth (also from my mother's side). Thank you for this comment.
@@thecatlurking I started getting them at age 16 lol. I smile a lot. Now I’m 22 and I think smile lines are cute. Embrace them girly
I'm also a big smiler, and bear zero regret in regards to my expression lines around the mouth. It's always funny to me how some people find that awesome and some others complain about having the same markings of joy. I, for one, am only sad about my perpetual dark circles under the eyes, which fail to disappear anymore in my 30s LOL
@@koalaeucalyptus I can definitely relate to the dark circles! Like, it doesn't matter how well I've slept, they are there to stay. I'm fine with it, though. My face just has a bit extra colour along with my freckles.
I think it's healthy to understand evolutionary psychology for this reason. A lack of wrinkles indicates that you are still in your prime fertile years (healthy pregnancy age peaks at 25, so this is not about children). Beauty and attractiveness are directly tied to reproductive urges as a species. And the way we look and the universals of beauty across cultures (such as waist to hip ratio) are what we've evolved for.
I know it may sound harsh at first, but if you can accept these facts you can start to disregard culture trends a bit more, and just have a view rooted in reality to make peace with. It's a much easier task that having to "unpack" and "unlearn" every small thing. Instead you can step back and get some healthy perspective on this. I personally have been enjoying my youth and unique beauty a lot more since I started thinking about myself this way. I've felt more free to look how I naturally look, and even to have my own fashion style.
For an era that is trying to be "body positive" the idea that in order to be beautiful you have to look like a doll that has come out of a very specific, easy for plastic surgery, mold is at least hypocritical
It's cause nowadays people are having the work done "fOr ThEmsElvEs" 🙄🙄 (not judging those who do have the work done, but like damn at least don't pretend you're not doing it cause of the beauty standards!)
@@britischenadligen3760i agree. I don't have a problem with people getting plastic surgery but if you do don't pretend it's "all natural"
@@britischenadligen3760 No one would actually do plastic surgery to change a normal feature into a trendy one "just for themselves". That's a phrase people use so they don't have to admit to themselves or others that they got influenced by the beauty standards 🤷♀
And since it's wrong to say that Anything is wrong, people end up falling into the absurd of ranting about beauty standards but then saying plastic surgery is ok
@@auricia201 I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or not 😅 but the reason why I said I don't judge people who do get surgery is because I know it all too well what it's like to dislike a part of your face so much that you want to change it. So I don't think it's fair to make people feel bad for getting/wanting surgery, like if we're gonna attack someone let's instead attack the cookie cutter beauty standards that make people want to get the surgery in the first place, not the people for being insecure about their looks .
@@britischenadligen3760 I was agreeing with you, but I went on a side rant.
I wasn't referencing your "not judging" part of the comment, but while we are at it, it's important to remember that thinking something is wrong is different from hating the people that do it or attack them.
Also, even though it's good to empathize with people with insecurities, everyone is capable of ignoring beauty standards. Those standards are made by the people that follow them
I used to hate my face until I started drawing portrait studies.
I started to notice the different features in people that make them unique and soon began to love those features. And it kills me to think that some of the people I’ve drawn might hate the very traits that make them so beautiful.
Now I can finally smile at myself in the mirror because all my little quirks are what make me look like me.
Same here! Granted, I once fell in love with a mean person that, in hindsight, was just plain unhealthy and abusive, but to me, at the time, he looked like an angelic creature.
I would run my hands up and down his arms and his face and whisper; 'You are so handsome, so handsome..I love your arms, your eyebrows, that mouthcorner where it's really soft, your hair, your earlobe, etc."
He did not believe a word of it and would usually be very insecure and get angry. And to be fair, at some point even I started noticing that the 'angelic look' had been replaced by a very bad-skinned, alcoholic-nosed, drunk-eyed morbidly obese man with severe healthproblems and dangerous infections all over.
But certain, (healthy) specific details in a person, like a big nose, a 'witch-nose' (as they call it here, like Chelsea Peretti has, which I btw absolutely love on her) and small hands or a wonky eye or a birthmark in their face or thin lips, a double chin (I know someone atm that has a double chin, in combination with a chizzeled jaw and I like the look, and the guy) and eyes with different colours in them or something, they make the person who they are.
I still need to teach the severely-in-love-part of my brain that (if I fall in love again) infected toes or stomach-ulcers don't deserve the same attention and praise as a wonky eye, because I tend to go overboard and love _everything_ about them, but for the future; I'm curious, excited and ready to find out what a potential (nice and friendly!) boyfriend will look like and I'll make sure to pick my favorite aspects of him and make sure he knows (next to how much I love him) how handsome he is.
100% agree! 'imperfections' are beautiful!
I once heard "every face is a pleasure to draw" and that's always stuck with me.
Yup, I hated myself and how I look so much as a kid growing up, but being timid and shy, instead of interacting with people I observed them and when I got into art I started actually paying attention to what I saw and i was able to find something beautiful in everyone (I also realized I found women beautiful in a different way than my straight friends lol). After some time of doing art and life happening did I realize I literally am conventionally attractive, it was such a wired thing to me even if it seems like it'd be obvious to a person. I was literally recovering from an ed when I figured out that I mostly fit into beauty standards. But with art I appreciate my unique features even more than the convectional ones because they make me stand out and not be like everyone else.
Get everyone into character design. There, all beauty standards related problems are solved!!
I had someone tell me once I should get my toes shortened because they're "too long" and "look like fingers". She literally wanted me to get my toes cut short, simply for an aesthetic. I told her I like being able to pick things up without stooping and to how about cut her nose short so it didn't poke into others business. We were never going to be friends ;)
literally wtf people are insane... good for you!
Toes that look like fingers... She doesn't like that your toes look like fingers...
Your friend must be Einstein's daughter
Hope I'm not bothering you, I just saw this comment again - and I regularly get comments from variety "your toes look like chubby stubs you should cover them" to "you have such cute childlike toes" and "why are you wearing sock in sandals" (so hiding them is bad and not hiding them is bad - not that i'm hiding them i just prefer to have socks to sweaty feet)
You just can't win with people so it's smartest not to try...Someone is going to find something to criticize over stuff that is completely out of our control... Kind of sad for them to live stuck on such inconsequential details
That is one HELL of a thing to say to someone, omfg. Meanwhile my toes and fingers are short and my nails are extremely small, like you have no idea. Some of my toenails are only a millimeter long when cut. I get sad because that means I don't have a lot of surface to decorate. :( I've had people say "just wear fake nails" but I'm just like... glued to WHAT? :'D
excuse me what the fuck
As a 17 year old girl with a round face, thin lips, and a large nose, thank you so much for this video and reminding me that everyone is beautiful regardless of the trends.
as someone who's vastly older than you and was never considered 'beautiful' at any point in my life (being described as 'average' would probably be on the kinder side), I have long since come to the conclusion that my mind is far more important. suffering from dementia or being in an accident which'd affect my ability to think would be so much worse and any kind of 'ugly' nose shape.
ultimately our bodies are just meat sacks to carry around our mind.
Remember this when dating. Any healthy, kind, face is beautiful when we love the person wearing it. Let people who aren't pretty have a chance to win your heart.
@@1st1anarkissed LOVE your word choice, it made me feel warm and happy inside as a person who's fairly ugly and doesn't want to/can't make an effort to change it thanks to chronic fatigue
The trends change so fast. Be your own kind of beautiful and try to look for that in others. ❤❤❤
I think thin lips are very pretty and unique ❤
"Women cannot win" is so true. I recently noticed how one person probably should have 2 body types: one curvatious for posing in underwear/swimmwear and one skeleton-thin for normal clothing. I also feel like we, who survived a few body-fashions now, dont stress about conforming too much, but the bad part about not being able to find clothing that fits your type still prevails.
exactly! another thing is that people somehow expect these body types to come without the "flaws" that occur in them naturally, a thin person shouldn't be too "bony" or "flat", a curvy person shouldn't have belly rolls, cellulite or stretchmarks, it's as though you're supposed to rearrange your fat strategically so that it's flattering everywhere, and how do you achieve that? surgery. it's just gross.
*snaps in agreement** yes and yes!
I often have temptation to create my own clothing to avoid the shopping trap where nothing is proportioned quite right to start, and it is made with subpar materials, and is probably made hurriedly, by disenfranchised, exploited people. I'm unsurprised that my favorite vintage pieces are the homemade ones with sufficient seam allowance and maybe made for someone slightly similarly proportioned to me!
I have those little rosebud lips that were so fashionable in the 1910s-1920s, and being a kid in the lip filler ridden 2010s, I hated them so much. Then I found a portrait of my great-grandmother from 1924; she had my lips, and she was stunning. It was around that time I stopped overlining my lipstick.
I have a rosebud mouth also and was mercilessly teased for it as a child in the 90’s.
I grew up during the 1970’s when models had thin lips. Mine are very plump, full of vertical lines and thick. As a white girl, it wasn’t at all ideal. Imagine my incredulity at lip fillers now? It’s crazy. My little thumbnail there doesn’t really show anything. So… much sympathy to you.
Me too! I remember a girl trying to bully me about it in middle school, but my mom has always told me I have the prettiest mouth shape. That's a weird compliment, but it made me not give a crap about that girl.
There is this great tweet by myeshachou that said "your existence is proof that generations of your face has been loved" and honestly that has helped me love my face so much after years of thinking my East Asian features were ugly
I love this quote! It’s true and beautiful. Thanks for sharing!
I can't really agree with this. What if those features came from a rapist? Or from people in a loveless arranged marriage? That doesn't help considering the story of the region of origin of my ancestors where rape and arranged marriages were really common
@@brutallemongrass Children don’t survive if they aren’t cared for lovingly
@@nanettie toddlers have very distinctive face features, they look nothing like adults. Did you see a newborn with crooked nose?
What a pretentious quote, seems like quote from ikea poster with pink background for a girl's bedroom.
It's a gorgeous nose!
that's what I'm sayin man
I agree!
Positively leonine! Beautifully nose-like.
I agree …. I live in LA and every girl has the same nose. It’s awful. I LOVE a strong profile on a woman. Think about Amal Clooney, women from Iran…
I have A LOT of people around me who find strong noses beautiful. And I agree.
I read a book once that was written back in the 1920s. It was about how the author's mother and father met in the old west. Throughout the entire book, the author wrote about how in love his dad was with his wife, the author's mom. How it was love at first sight, and how she was the most beautiful woman in the entire world. At the end of the book, he showed a picture of her on her wedding day, and she looked like an average woman by today's standards. Even kind of dowdy. She's wasn't ugly, but much plainer than I expected from how the book described her. But I don't doubt that she was beautiful. She was a kind woman, who was gentle and graceful, and loved her family. She sounded lovely.
Could you by chance remember the name of this book?
Name of the book please 🙏
Something I read that still sticks with me to this day is beauty standards and even the "body positivity" movement, by extension, are just redrawing lines for what can be categorised as f*ckable. When in reality, the vastness of human appearance is a delightful and fascinating manifestation of history and humanity. If we all looked the same that would be so boring and one dimensional. Your face is timeless your hair is timeless your body is timeless. It's such a relief
you put this so well! i agree exactly
It’s not men who make thin or thick eyebrows fashionable. It’s the fashion industry & women. Your average guy could care. If a guy found big butts attractive ten years ago, he still will 👍🏻
Lydia B yes yes
@@teleriferchnyfain It's not personal taste we're talking about here. The point is the beauty industry (largely owned by white men btw) is really an insecurity industry that profits obscenely and intentionally by telling women there is something wrong with them.
(Great example: The early 20th century Gillette campaign wanted to sell razors to the other half of the population so they said body hair on women was gross. Now the majority of adult women remove naturally occurring hair by any means necessary.)
Yeah the whole body positivity movement was a big mistake. It started genuine but then turned into hating on thin people and people who want to loose weight.
my history teacher made it a big deal to let us know that to the Ancient Maya, being cross-eyed was a highly desired physical trait, and that fashion trends are exactly that: trends. fashion is fluid and ever-changing, so if someone makes you feel bad for how you look now, just know that they might end up trying to look more like you in the future to keep up with the trends.
I sometimes wonder if, when people say that some trait like crossed eyes was considered beautiful to one group of people at one time in history, whether someone actually just saw a drawing a Mayan made of a cross-eyed person and decided that because someone drew it, it must be a desirable characteristic throughout their culture and across the centuries. Like, how do they know it was a sought-after feature? Also, if trends in our time change drastically within five years, are they suggesting crossed eyes were a desirable feature throughout Mayan history, or only at one specific point for a period of like 50 years tops?
they also installed gemstones in their teeth and changed the shape of their skulls. they started this procedure as early as possible, by attaching a wooden plank to the back of an infants' head.
@@sweetbunnybun Foot binding was based on the same principle.
@@SchlichteToven There are still Maya around, I wonder if that's how we know
@@sweetbunnybun it reminds me of Tutankhamen’s Binding of the skull to distinguish oneself from non-loyalty.
I’m so grateful my mom gave me perspective on plastic surgery: she told me that she never intended to have any work done, but when she needed nose surgery to fix a deviated septum she decided to go for it. She asked the doctor, “if you’re gonna cut my nose up anyway, can you make it smaller while you’re at it?” And he said “absolutely”. I’ve seen pictures of her before the surgery and still think she looked great, but in daily life she noticed a difference in the way people treated her. Men especially were nicer and more likely to compliment her. This showed her which people in her life (and how people in general) were more shallow and swayed by a simple physical change when she was still the exact same person.
that is so interesting!!
Maybe it's because i'm really autistic but i never understood why people care so much how other people treat them. Sure it's nicer when people are kinder but changing my face for that reason? Absolutely not why would i care. Like if they're pieces of shit than why do i care what thwy think
I knew a girl with naturally deep lines in her face even as she was young, but as I better knew her, I grew to adore her features. Her expressions were loud, her smile contagious, features that were not "conventionally attractive" made her memorable and beautiful. It's as though I could only see her real face after I knew the real her.
That last sentence is beautiful ❤
as someone who also has strong laugh lines around the mouth since I was little,, thank you for seeing her
@@thatsdisco Omg, pls strong laugh lines are the most charming feature I'm always smitten when I see someone with smiley lines
I find that to be very true. I’ve never met anyone I didn’t think was beautiful/handsome after I got to know them. Regardless of whatever my first glance was.
Your words are very beautiful and poetic. What a lovely thing to say.
I accidentally broke the idea of beauty industry standards as a kid in my own brain. I remember finding so many different types of women beautiful, wildly different ages and every ethnicity. I started to try to see myself from an outside perspective and if I found all these different things beautiful in other women I could find beauty in myself.
Yes!! Beauty of the variety of life ❤
You and me both!
I was about 15-16 (back in the late 90's/early 2000's) when a boy I knew from school told me I shouldn't wear makeup (we were out of school and I was in full goth makeup) I pointed out to him that he saw me every day without makeup and asked why he'd never complimented me on my appearance. He didn't actually mean I should wear no makeup, he meant I should wear a very particular type of makeup. Some things never change.
I remember a classmate in high school remarking that sometimes people would tell her that she wears too heavy makeup, even when she wasn't wearing any. She just had particularly thick eyelashes. Even a natural look can be seen as "fake".
I usually wore such light make-up, people thought I was wearing none - but if they saw me without it, they'd ask if I was tired or unwell! It just gave me a more groomed look.
A lot of the women around me wear too much foundation and it is aging and muddy.
To me, make up is for enhancing your natural beauty, and shouldn't take a lot of time- men are busy earning money and investing, while women are fussing over their appearance and spending money on it!
25:03 This is why I'm so happy to see women that are older like Cate Blanchett, Jennifer Coolidge or Michelle Yeoh are being recieved so positively by the majority of the internet right now. They're celebrated (again) and not just ironically but are sincerely recognized for their talent and character.
yes and also, I think they're milfs
That’s true, and I’m glad too, however the pressure on them has got to be immense and I’m 100% confident all of them have hit the plastic surgery pretty hard (though subtlety) to stay “beautiful” enough for Hollywood to keep giving them attention.
True although none of them look their age
@@tamarleahh.2150 see what you just said, once again we can't fucking win. what if they do look their age? what if some women just age like that?
@@tamarleahh.2150 True, but it's a step in the right direction!
I remember being teased for my "thick" eyebrows. So I proceeded to change nothing about them, then got praised a few years later for my perfect eyebrow shape. Same thing happened with my glasses.
People are ridiculous. Just do what you want and wave at the trends as they go by. The men you want to attract dont usually watch the trends anyway, and you always look more beautiful when you just wear what you like
Exactly the same thing - teased for thick eyebrows, then praised for how perfectly shaped they were a few years later.
Yep. I remember the super-thin eyebrows of the 70's and just hated the look. I also heard people complain that they didn't grow back when thicker ones were more popular. It's funny how super- thin brows crop up from time to time: 20's/30's, 60's/70's, etc
"you always look more beautiful when you just wear what you like" is SO TRUE! The confidence and comfort of wearing what you like, of being your authentic self is *very* attractive. Just like Karolina says: Pedro Pascal is VERY attractive, not because of his looks as much as his personality that shines through.
I used to find Adam Driver just plain ugly, and noticed in his early interviews he was very stiff and uncomfortable, and he seemed kind of like a jerk. Then, I saw a more recent appearance and he was smiling, joking, and laughing with the host. Suddenly I thought, "Hey, he's a good looking guy!" It took a couple of days to figure out why my mind had been changed almost instantly. Naturally, it is his personality.
The men, or the women. 😀
I have a love of goth fashion and pluck/shave my eyebrows right off fairly often.
I keep saying this, but as a tween and teen with full, slightly curly brows, I wanted nothing more than to pluck them all off. My aunt told me once unprompted that they were perfect for my face and it made me keep them as is even if I hated them. Cue a few years later, Cara DeLavigne becomes the world's hit girl, and my brows are suddenly super fashionable. I remember VIVIDLY a make-up artist who was doing my face for my friend's wedding calling everyone over to show them my filled brows and fawning over them. Today, they're ugly again. You can't win forever! I was fashionable for a short while, and I learned to love my brows during that time.
Wait 😵 they are? (Bushy brows ugly again)
But I still hear about microblading, growth serums..
Not the line thin eyebrows again please! 😑 It looks like people are going bald!
Why can't people be happy with their natural brows? There are nice thin brows, and well as nice thick ones, arched, straight... Why change them!! 🤦🏻♀️
You are me. Hahaha! It's my story (except for curly brows)! I will not pluck mine though. After Cara DeLavigne, I will never go back and will not feel bad about these brows ever again.
This happened to me with many things, my curly hair, my mixed race features, but the one thing that i cant get over, is my bodyshape. Even through im trans, both men and women in my family have really, really big butts. Im talking 70cm waist with a butt over 150cm. Shit is astronomical. Its mostly due to native american, middle eastern and mediterranean genetics, a lot of fat deposit on the hips and butt from those genes. I got bullied, called gross, told to go to the gym, told i looked botched, and sexually harassed and assaulted for my butt ever since i was 8-9, summed up to my girly expression too. I always felt self concious and when i came out of the closet i remember seeing all the trans girls with dainty little legs and abdomen and hips and feeling like a huge disproportionate blob. Then when kim k rose in popularity, and her massive butt was trending, i got so many compliments, trans and cis women asking if i could give them the contact of the surgeon, because i was told its so round and seamless that it looks man-made. I was told this as a compliment. I rode this high until about 2021-2022. Now heroin chic is back, and im yet again getting people telling me i look old, even friends of mine giving me advice on what clothes to wear to minimize it. Its fucking heartbreaking, and i know my life will be going back and forth from being ridiculed and shamed for something that, as far as im aware, is not possible to change (since even tho theres obviously fat, my butt is mostly muscle, and I am not sure there are any procedures to successfully and not insanely dangerously and expensively reduce it), and then being back to being celebrated for it, or, more often than not, shamed for getting a procedure done, as people cant believe this is just how i look like
I GASPED when I heard the “filling the nostrils” bit. I have round, big nostrils, so the fact that somewhere on Earth there was a Victorian lady violently stuffing her nostrils to look like me makes me feel like a supermodel😂 all bodies and faces are beautiful, we should stop making bodies into fashion trends
Phi says different. 1.618:1 Bet you have no clue though....
"You better try pinching that nose baby, to make it look longer!"😏🤣😂🤣
I felt the same, when the Shoemaker guy described the “perfect lips” he pretty closely described mine and I was so shocked 😭
If your pfp is you, you are so beautiful girl ❤❤you really look like a painting
@@balletobsessedweirdo I agreeee! ❤
My advice to anyone who struggles with their body image: spend less time on social media, or at least less time on broad social media that doesn't consist of your personal friends. My mental health took an absolute nose dive when I got really into Instagram. I felt uglier, fatter, and more broke and worthless than ever before. I have healed a lot since taking a major social media break and I don't think I'll ever go back.
Yep. I only spend my online time with people I personally know, their aquaintances or in self help groups. I am almost 40 and most of my friends are of similar age. No supermodels in sight. :D
Agree ! I only check social media once weekly for friends updates and it's done wonders for mental health and self confidence
Yeah.
Not only does your understanding of what is “normal average beauty” vanish completely, it also gives lot of pressure to be more effective, do more with one’s life. Nothing is enough compared to everyone posting their super moments as everyday thing. Beautiful very early morning workouts or yoga or art making or baking before getting dolled up for a productive inspirational work day followed by fully planned evening activities with cool hobbies and cool people. 100% all the time.
Exhausting.
I can agree! In 2020/2021/some of 2022 my self-esteem got worse because I was spending more time on social media, but in late 2022 I broke away from most social medias and limited the time I spent on them, started to dress the way I want to, and just got out more in general and my self-esteem has skyrocketed. Don’t forget that most of the time, when posting on social media, people take pictures of themselves all glammed up with makeup on and not just your average everyday photo of yourself with no makeup and messy hair.
Agree, I temember thinking "oh right, that is what real people look like, they have spots and bellies , too" when returning to the office after years of working from home and daydreaming on social media....
As someone who used to do life drawing, my fellow artists and I always LOVED the models who'd come in and had "irregular" body types/features (ones that fell outside the "average"/"standard" proportions) they always made for the best drawings and we got the most wonderful stylised sketches out of it. So to anyone who might be feeling crappy about their body/features, know that a bunch of artists would absolutely adore you and would gladly spend hours drawing you
Yes, in life drawing, we were thrilled when a girl with large round thighs walked in, after weeks of doing a scrawny size 10. (As in, a 1980s 10 - today that's a size 2 or smaller in the US system).
Ok, please bear in mind that those of us who were scrawny for most of adulthood are on the extreme other end of the bell curve, not typical body types, and got teased, too. They were on trend for a season but like the video points out, they’ve also been wildly off trend and disdained (both of which I’ve experienced in my 40 years). It has been a lifetime of people commenting on my scrawny body, with wildly different opinions, many negative, and lifetime of hearing that skinny women aren’t “real women,” and hearing people talk about skinny (even the use of the term “scrawny” is a negative) is somehow defective or less desired than curvy. I didn’t create the Twiggy trend, I can’t help that, nor did I ask for curvy to be popular. I was a size 0-2 until my 40’s and couldn’t gain if I tried. Often those scrawny types can’t gain.
@@Sjp374 Hey I know several artists (myself included) who'd still love drawing someone on your end of the bell curve too! :) I think what the other person was getting at (although not said in the best way) is that artists enjoy drawing variety and humans come in a variety so when you frequently draw one sliver of the spectrum that people come in, we appreciate the variety when we get to see it. I'm sorry you were teased and felt left out of the body positivity, no one should be made to feel lesser or unwanted. All body shapes/types are art
@@Mella864 thank you! My mom is an artist too and is so good about appreciating the beauty in everyone. I think what I was trying to say is that we need to find ways as a society to show support to all types without denigrating other types in the process. I think most folks don’t even think about it, but it’s overwhelmingly common to compliment curves girls by putting down skinny ones, and then we are just back at square one with people feeling like their body type is inferior!
This is really silly, but Karolina pointing out that round faces were fashionable round faces were fashionable 15 years ago made me feel really beautiful when I looked at myself myself in the mirror! Buccal fat removal videos have made me really insecure about my round face and realising that my features were at one point desirable made me feel suddenly a lot more confident. If only we realised everyone with different features should be able to feel like that without it being a passing trend
Believe me when I say that those who had a buccal fat removal procedure will bitterly regret this decision in 10 years or even less, not only because the beauty standard will change, but they will age a lot faster (I mean, Bella Hadid already looks 10 years older than she is)
Round faces are a sign of youth. I had the roundest face until I hit 30. I’ve lost the baby fat in my face and my features now look more defined. Embrace the round face. Most people lose it with age
@@MariaRodriguez-dx6sm Girl… they already look bad lol. Removing buccal fat only looks good from certain angles, on still
Image. Even Bella Hadid kinda looks odd when you see her out on the street. She looks good on a runaway tho.
Coming from a fellow plump face, you will so appreciate it as you get older! I believe that’s exactly why many Asian and Hispanic people are stereotyped as “aging slower.” Facial roundness is very common. For plump faced people, wearing spf and staying relatively healthy, goes a very long way as the face naturally thins with age.
I honestly feel like a look better now in my early 30s, then I did in my early 20s. I’ve mastered my skincare, I’m more confident, and age just carved out my features more. Only issue is that I still gotta dodge all those emotionally immature dudes in their early 20s lol.
Fashion is cyclical. Some day its your time again😊
Some of my guy friends and I were recently discussing male vs female beauty standards, so I’d be very interested in seeing more videos like this.
I think the most interesting thing I learned during our discussion was that when men feel unattractive, there’s a common, somewhat fatalistic mindset to just “accept they’re ugly and there’s nothing they can do about.” Which contrasts a lot with how it’s not uncommon for women to work really hard to try to meet unattainable beauty standards, but at the end of the day neither is a healthy mindset whatsoever.
Men are accepted if they have redeemable personalities...women are not. Women have to have either just physical beauty or the whole package for acceptance.
There's definitely this idea that if a man is ugly (or even just not super hot in a conventional way) it's fine bc at least he's funny/smart/whatever, but god forbid any random woman fail at her only job of looking like a supermodel 🙄
Men definitely feel pressure to get fit bodies a lot , otherwise such huge gym culture wouldn't exist. This is one of the things they feel is essential to improving their looks and of course, it usually works. Anyway, I don't think men are exempt from the pressure to look good, but they are pushed in different directions.
Have you ever watched Stephanie Lange? She has a series of videos about this very thing.
@@AN-sm3vj Yes, women definitely experience more criticism, but really even a chubby otherwise successful man gets some of it nowadays because the fit gym culture is super strong and everywhere.
When my grandfather was on hospice, my mother went to visit him. My grandmother told him “You’re daughter is here.” With his eyes closed, he whispered: “She’s pretty.”
Whenever my Mom feels insecure, I remind her of what my Papa said. Long story short - the people who love you think your features are endearing. They make you YOU.
Great video. My crazy curls, big nose, and pale skin thank you.
Karolina, I was literally just talking to a friend last night about how tragic it is that many people destroy their unique beauty in the hopes of aquiring a "trendy" nose. This seems to be a particular epidemic in the middle east. If I am correct Iran has one of the highest rates of rhinoplasty in the world and it is so disappointing to me that these western beauty standards/trends have such an influence. I personally love strong noses and always get so sad when I see people shaving them down to look like little barbie nose ski slopes.
Yeah it's so damn stupid and lowkey racist how only one *very* specific type of nose is considered attractive nowadays. Meanwhile I see many beautiful women with noses that are either curved or have bumps or are slightly too wide or long and they still look stunning. Personally I've got nothing against rhinoplasty if that's what someone really wants, but I wish that more surgeons would at least try to preserve ethnic features instead of always going for the cookie cutter Barbie nose and just feeding into this idea that only that type of nose is cute. Eww rant over lol
Ironic as most people in the west don’t have that nose either
@@casandra0exactly
@@casandra0 Exactly 🤦♀ We can't really say that standard is racist when the feature in question doesn't belong to any race! It's just a plainly stupid standard, that's all.
Funny enough, I've seen people rant about how it is Racist to assume people from other cultures are influenced by western beauty standards 🤷♀
The bottom line is: everything is racist, and the only wrong thing is saying something is wrong
And when the trends change, they often can't go back. The nose can only be altered about three times before the underlying structures can't support any more changes - and the initial surgery very often requires a second to correct deformities that happen from the first surgery. Buccal fat removal surgery is irreversible. With blepharoplasty, mistakes can sometimes occur in which they take out too much eyelid skin and the eye can never close properly again and they get chronic, severe dry eyes. I think plastic surgery videos make it seem easy, when people often require additional surgeries that they can't afford and didn't anticipate.
Okay so I've struggled with having a round face my entire life including serous mental illness and plans and savings for jaw line shaving... this video. I'm on the edge of tears. It's my face. It's my dad's face. My grandads face. You're so correct, features aren't trends
You made me tear up with your comment. Yes. We look like our people, the people who love us, we should celebrate that.
I have a very narrow thin face and was teased about it when I was younger. I of course want a round face. I am a mature lady with grown up children and I've never gotten over my insecurities over my looks.
@@michellejarvis7878 On the other hand, some of us ave features of abusers, and that’s rough. 😢
My dad passed away after a sudden illness last year and now after spending years hating my nose and rounded face I realized that’s a part of him I get to carry on with me. It’s like one last connection with him I get to look at everyday. Never thought I’d ever except my nose but the passing of a loved one changed things. I’m so glad I never was able to change my nose because I would regret not looking like my dad now.
Don’t do it! I had, yes had, a round face and around 35, it went away. I now have an angular face. The round is gone and you look so much younger and healthier with a round face. Now I was trying to walk some weight off and I lose it from my face and not my thighs.
My mom spent her entire childhood being teased for being too skinny, and now everyone is jealous of her figure. She also never dyed her hair, even though she started going gray quite young. People told her she looked old. Now that she's in her 60s, women compliment her and say they wish they had gone gray naturally so they didn't have to go through the awkward growing out stage once society deemed them "too old" to not be gray. I'm really glad I have my mom to counter a lot of the messaging we get from pop culture and the beauty industry. Thanks to her, I have a remarkably healthy body image and have always been aware that standards change (although I will grant that I have also been blessed with a body that is generally close enough to the standard to be deemed acceptable, though not the height of fashion).
To any young person considering a nose job- I used to hate hate my nose, it was my biggest insecurity I couldn’t even look at pictures of my side profile without going done a dysmorphic spiral. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve not only learned to appreciate it, but I’ve also literally grown into my nose. When you’re young your face is still developing and changing- and some features grow faster or slower than others! Allow your body to mature before you start considering any sort of procedures! You are beautiful!
This is very on point. I have quite a prominent nose and I've always felt insecure about it (still fighting it!) and I think part of the problem is that I was made fun of for it (by a boy that I was in love it, no less!) at the time when my face was still growing and it kind of grew first before the rest caught up with it!
Yesss!! I used to be so insecure about my nose too. But now I find that it suits my face perfectly.
youre so right! i used to hate my nose growing up, crying every time i saw myself in my mirror because it looked “big” but my mother always said “you’ll grow into it”
now i see she was right! it turns out my nose looked “big” because of puberty, and now i have grown into it and ive learned to accept it!!
Same! I used to think a lot on getting a surgery when I was in my teen years because I hated my nose so much. But later I found out that is the same as my grandma's: she passed away when my mom was 2 and we don't have many pictures of her. I'm 33 now and I wouldn't change my nose for anything, not even a million dollars.
My bullies said otherwise lmao
Something I heard from a body positive Instagram content creator I follow helped me a lot recently. She said "Your body is the least interesting thing about you. Think about people you love and love to be around. If they were fatter or skinnier, would you like them less? No, right? Its the same with yourself. I promise you that your body is the least interesting thing about you to your loved ones." It really centralized personality and heart above all else and I appreciated that sentiment.
But what if my body is the most interesting thing about me? I'm physically attractive but my personality isn't
@@me-zb7qmdont disrespect yourself darling! I am sure you arr full of wonderful traits of character! ❤
Honestly this. I've had a lot of good friends who were far removed from beauty standards, had unconventional looks, who believed they were ugly, and who I had thought were ugly when I first met them. Then we got talking and got along so well we kept looking for each other's company in school. Looks didn't matter anymore and the "ugly" stopped being ugly and instead became a part of who they were. Appearance is incredibly shallow. It may get you attention but if your personality doesn't match the other person then no matter how great you look, no matter how well you conform to beauty standards, they're still going to think you're one ugly bitch.
And not just that - people have different tastes, and somebody lov your big/small nose, full/thin lips, etc. My wife hates her round belly, small breasts and some other things, but that are one of my favourite parts of her body (just to clarify, I love her whole body, soul and mind - not in that order)). Karolina is right again.
The content creator should meet my mother😂😂😂 always shaming about my appearance
Besides history, geography also makes such a difference. Even in one historical period, there are so many different standards. Living abroad made me much more comfortable about my body and my style.
In my home country (Brazil) I'm considered flat and too tall - it's perceived as masculine, and quite distant from the ideal super curvy body. My style is seen as conservative, as I rarely show skin.
Then I moved to Eastern Europe and now I was 100% the female beauty standard haha Blonde, tall, deemed skinny and my style elegant, classy etc., so a lot of guys were approaching me, which never happened before.
Later I moved to Japan and it was super interesting too - my features were not considered feminine usually (btw I was not seen as skinny). My style was now considered edgy? So I was in the "cool" (kakkoi) niche aka I now got queer coded and girls were hitting on me from time to time 😂
I guess all these experience made me realize how random and arbitrary beauty standards can be, and to truly have my own sense of self, style and generally be comfortable in my body wherever the time and place. I don't mind beauty procedures or even plastic surgeries, in fact I want to do a few in the future - but I want to do them for myself and my own "standard".
As a person with freckles, I was bullied as a kid for having them: watching people smash dots on their faces with henna and put them on every filter possible is oddly funny to me.
It's actually scary how trends make us insecure about our literal bones and skin, yet then in around 4 years they change just like that
I never understood that!! I do henna freckles bc I think they're really cute but I always wanted freckles bc my mum and sister are covered in them and I always wanted them
My boyfriend went through the same thing when he was young, he's from a very small town and he was constantly bullied for his freckles all of his childhood and puberty.
I show him every now and then videos of people doing whatever they can to have freckles, and he just laughs and gets annoyed. He doesn't loves his freckles as much as I do because of the bullying. He's a redhead, a rarity in our country (we are from Mexico) and he hates being the center of attention because of his freckles and hair color... But now his looks are "on trend"
Beauty standards are ridiculous .-.
And most of their henna freckles just look splotchy, like a 6th grader did them or something 😂 at least real freckles look cute!
I also have freckles and while I wasn’t exactly bullied for them growing up, I was constantly reminded of how they were a “flaw I wasn’t supposed to have”. I don’t have those tiny dainty ones sprinkled on the nose, mine are fairly big, quite a bit darker than my skin colour and everywhere on my face. I tried so many creams, serums and toners to erase them when I was a teenager, even squeezing lemon juice directly on my face for weeks on end (don’t try, it doesn’t work and it’s very bad for your skin). At last, I accepted I would never have the smooth, even skin that has been so coveted for so long (still is in some way). Then a couple of years ago my mum called me to show me a video of a girl tattooing freckles on her face. At first I laughed and called it a fluke, maybe she just really liked freckles that much even if I didn’t understand. Then suddenly it’s 2021 and everyone and their cat wants these tiny little dark spots I’ve been feeling insecure for so long, permanently etched on their face.
Honestly relatable.
Instantly remembered how Tolstoy in “War and Peace” described one female character’s little mustache as a very attractive part of her appearance.
Oh yes! I also remeber a Hungarian poet from 19th century did so too (dont remeber exactly who). It was probably fashionable at the time.
Because it is cute))
Damn, that would be the kind of appreciation that is just enough insulting but also sweet 😂 a sweet and sour kind of dish
Now *this* one piece of information has made me feel better about myself. Thanks uwu
In a way, it's kinda cute. 🥺
It's ironic that Bella is one of the most notable people with buckle fat removal, while her sister Gigi has the round face of the 2000s models.
I never understand women removing cheeks... It's like, they want to look like a man?.. WHY?! Just put socks in your pants instead.
@@KasumiRINA Katherine Hepburn and Joan Crawford had their back teeth removed for the same look.
@@pcbassoon3892 Marlene Dietrich as well.
@@KasumiRINA Wanting more defined cheeks is alike to wanting to be a man ? Your reasoning is flawed.
@@pcbassoon3892 Rita Hayworth as well
I'm 63 years old, drooping in places I didn't use to. I've been through a couple of major illnesses and surgeries so there are scars and more weight than I would like. I'm working on that for health reasons, but I decided that I'm more than my body. I am smart, funny, loving, and talented. I've worked hard to like myself even when I see those so called "beautiful women." Thank you for this video.
62 and 👊👊👊 sister!
I just wish it didn't take most women until their 60s to realize this. But is a woman ever not beautiful? Even older women have a certain beauty that is unlike any other.
Same. I’m in my forties but health issues don’t discriminate in wrecking the body.
I think I’m going to have to give in at some point to a brow lift because eventually I won’t be able to see out……I’m never going to like how I look, I just want the meat suit to function and not hurt so much!
Sending hugs to everyone struggling.
Thank you, I'm 20 and even tho I have flaws I'm now coming to accept them, you are beautiful
@@fable_enthusiast thanks. I'm not. But I have to teach myself that's not the thing that matters. There are lots of beautiful people who are horrible. And beauty doesn't even last. Even if fashion didn't change everything would head south and get wrinkled anyway. It's much better to be nice, kind, and if at all possible, healthy.
I just had a flashback to when my cousin claimed she didn't look like anyone in the family and I told her "You have the same nose we all do." She got mad, like I was saying her nose was ugly. Girl, it's my nose, too!
... this cracks me me up cuz your cousin basically revealed she thought everyone's noses were ugly and she had the only good nose? Like what???
The level of delusion is palpable in your cousin😂
I always wonder do people who are hating some feature of theirs and decide to get plastic surgery think before the decision about how they parents and other relatives they have the same feature as, might feel? Cause well yes you're insecure about a feature that's not just yours but you're basically also publicly calling your parents and other ancestors ugly...
@@haveasmiletoday2814 It's extra funny, because she's the spitting image of our late grandpa with fuller lips.
@@g5rearea loool I hope she sees the light one day
I’m a teen living in Nigeria, where being thick and voluptuous is seen as the beauty standard. I’ve received comments right from eight years old about my appearance, to the point where I felt like there was something seriously wrong with my body. I felt like I wasn’t “feminine” enough. I still struggle with thoughts like that till today.
I borrowed a notebook from a girl once, and when I opened it I saw that she wrote something along the lines of “lose weight” as one of her goals. I personally didn’t see the reason why she’d want to do that, as she was someone who all the guys at my school ran after, she was curvy and pretty. I wonder now what could’ve happened that made her want to lose weight, as one of her goals when her body was perfectly fine in my eyes. Who were the people that filled her head with such thoughts and made her feel like something was wrong with the way her body looked? That’s when I realized something.
The world is very superficial, especially towards women. Everything is about how beautiful you are. Beauty standards are structured in a way that unless you are rich or just lucky, it’s next to impossible for you to attain. I feel like the BBL era proved that to us all. Few to no naturally skinny women have hips twice the size of their waist and an extremely huge butt. Skinny women don’t have a lot of fat on their bodies so it’ll make sense if most skinny women had flat butts, but because that is easier to attain than a bigger butt with a skinny body, the standards changed so more people would buy big companies’ products to adjust and conform to the new standard.
Even if you “fit the ideal” the world will still have a problem with your body because you’re a woman and women just can’t win.
I feel like it's a good place to share this. So, I'm 26 and look like a teenager, so I've tried to find some ways to look a couple years older: I thought, maybe I wear my hair in a certain more childish way or something. So I tried to google "hairstyles to make you look older". And I got bombarded with articles screaming at me "HAIRSTYLES THAT MAKE YOU AN UGLY OLD WOMAN", "HERE'S WHAT YOU SHOULD AVOID", "NEVER WEAR YOUR HAIR LIKE THIS OR YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A DISGUSTING OLD PERSON". It was so fucking weird... (Also, although it did show some of "older" hairstyles, not helpful at all.) I mean, I know looking younger is for some reason desirable in the society (why? do you want people never to take you seriously? because that's what happens with me all the time) , but jfc, this is ridiculous.
It’s wild how pointed certain topics are, especially around looks! I have always been on the skinny end and then lost a bunch of weight accidentally. I’ve been working to gain it back, and looked up tips for how to gain weight healthily. After about two results, everything turns into “how to lose weight, fast!” or “how to eat enough to exercise and turn it all into muscle”. It feels like something is wrong with your body, just looking at all the advice, so I can’t imagine how someone already insecure and wanting to lose weight would feel!
I also look younger than my age and it does make me feel a bit insecure y’know like “childish”
Especially because I’m pretty “flat” lol
Amen. I’m also in my 20s and I still get mistaken for a high schooler. It’s really frustrating, isn’t it? I’m sure there’s SOMETHING I could do to look a little older, but I haven’t figured out the secret yet.
@@emilylike-the-soup2502 I have had my ID checked untill I was 38(!). Then I stopped dying my hair, when I discovered I was covering up a pretty stylish grey streak front and centre. Now my ID is never asked anymore. My face is still flawless though. So I guess that grey part of my hair above my face is doing it for me😂
Fellow baby-facer here, turning 30 very soon. I’m a generally skinny person with a chubby-ish face, so there really isn’t much I can do except wear what makes me feel good (which is sometimes a sweatshirt with cats on it) and try to enjoy it. I will say that it bothers me much less at 29 than it did at 25. Whether that’s due to my face having aged a bit or just having more confidence I can’t say, but how you carry yourself and feel about yourself makes a bigger difference than makeup or clothes 😊
I used to think I was unattractive and I still do struggle with body positivity but what’s really helped has been looking at my daughter. Her adorable little two year old features are just like mine. She has my round little nose. She has my lips and eyes and she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. If she is so beautiful and she looks like me then I can’t be that bad looking.
Don't forget: other people feel this way about you too :)
SAME. I really like my unibrow tho. I just shave it in fear of being judged. But I’m glad I have one bc it’s mad unique and cute.
@@remigal899 Unibrows are beautiful, but I understand.
@@remigal899 i really like sideburns on other girls, they are sooo freaking cute
@@Bunnidove I agree sooo much. I adore my unibrow lol.
One of the most back handed compliments I’ve ever gotten is “you were born in the wrong era, if it were the 1940’s you would be a model”… like what are you trying to say 😭😭😭
Maybe they think You look like Ginger Rogers?
Karolina: shows her side profile
Me: looks intensively and finds nothing wrong and gets really confused
Same, for a moment I thought she was referring to her gorgeous cheek bones, especially as I had seen a lot of content on Buccal Fat.
Same. Had to rewind that part after she explained the issues she had with her nose.
Right!? Her nose is literally fine.
(Actually, the first thing I had to look at was her nice hairdo. With that one she looks very Greco-Roman in silhouette. You could emboss her profile on a coin.)
She reminds me of textbook examples of portrait proportions. I couldn't see anything wrong with her either 😅
Same! I thought she was pointing to her hairstyle, and how it covers her hair. Like an ear insecurity... had to rewind too
In the early 2000s (when I was a young pre-teen), my mother told me not to touch my eyebrows because I will regret it and they will never be the same. I had nice tick eyebrows my entire life and I loved them. I was quite surprised that they became fashionable with people that used to hate the same eyebrows before. I can now see that those same people are plucking their eyebrows again. I do not and I will never listen to those people about anything. I am very grateful to my mother for making such a big impact just with an innocent comment about my eyebrows.
My mother gave me the same advice! I'm glad I trusted her judgement 😊
@@yos.5684 cool story bro
This was my exact experience from that era-- I saw those models in the Vogue magazines, and I desperately wanted those delicate eyebrows. Mine were naturally dark and bold. I tweezed my brows off against my mom's warning (she was young in the 70's during another skinny brow trend) and they never grew back. I suffered through the boxy eyebrow trends, and it was always in my face since I worked in the beauty industry. Now, people are having their eyebrows micro-bladed, and it's very well-accepted. I have friends who have had confidence boosts from having it done. I have mixed thoughts of thin eyebrows coming back into "fashion," having seen all eyebrow trends come full circle.
Your mother is wise. When I was going to school to become an aesthetician we learned how to wax various body parts, including brows. We practiced on each other of course. I was 39 at the time and had lovely thick brows that had never been touched. I had the minimal waxing done, and switched to having them threaded periodically. I regret it 😢. Now I’m in my 50s and my brows have started to thin and I wish I had resisted that pressure. Never let anyone touch your brows darling 😊
My neighbour gave the same advice!
An ode to Karolina's, and everyone's, nose:
It sits upon her countenance
as fair as fair may be
It is neither long nor short
to an overt degree
a nose it is, to smell the roses
and to scent honey
her nose is there
above her lips
and that's just how it be
❤
Her nose isn't even big which is crazy lol
@@NightTimeDay
It is a long nose, but she mentioned she had trouble with the 'bump' on it.
I have a nose like hers, without a bump, but I was always told by people (amongst many nasty things) that it was big, by which they meant long.
Edit; Mine is crooked though, it's diagonally on my face. Not to mention, my eyes are about half a centimeter apart and my jaw is weird too.
If I put sunglasses on, the nose is too crooked to support it properly and it falls to the side and only highlights the difference between my eyes (one sunglass-part is covering my eyebrow, the other the area right under my eye...after which it just falls down my nose. I hope I never need readingglasses.)
When I was a kid, I had a noticeable gap between my front teeth. It didn't really bother me, but I knew it was considered a flaw. Then when I was around ten, models started getting dental surgeries to get a tooth-gap, and I realized: Everyone will naturally be trendy at least once in their life. Now trends go so fast, I think we're all probably super trendy every couple of years. 😆
That's me with my full lips and eyelid. Many years ago I was always insecure about it and even searched for lip size reduction at the age of 12, because that's how much I was made fun of about it. And I somehow thought my eyelids are too full.
Jesus! I can’t imagine filing down your teeth for a fake tooth gap!
I've gotten a few witch jokes thrown at me for my nose and it took 1 friend telling me that my nose was "regal" for me to start seeing things differently. this video has given me the final push I need! New motto: " body parts are not a trend" thank you ❤❤❤
Wow I had nearly the same experience. A couple years ago I remember friends discussing halloween costumes and overhearing one joking to another that i should be a witch. They quieted down when i turned to look. Whenever I saw my profile i felt that comment in the back of my head.
Then, on opening night of my first play, the girl doing my makeup, who looked very different than I do, complimented my "elegant, Roman" features ! I was shocked !
Now i carry both comments , knowing that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. it's the most important that one appreciates one's unique features the way one wishes to, not others ... and to prioritize a strong character first which will show in the expression
I used to hate my acne scars but people mistook them as freckles and complimented them. I stop caring about erasing them as much because I realized so many people either didn’t notice or even recognize what they were. Now i just take my “imperfections” as part of my natural charm.
I have a heavily freckled face and got made fun of it relentlessly in my childhood. Now everyone paints on freckles, its just an innocent trend but you can't help but resent those people when youve been through so much just by having them and now its a cute little trend that they get to wipe off when it becomes "unfashionable"
I can only imagine how it is for POC and people of different cultures who have their features and cultural items made fashionable in this manner only to be seen as "out of style" when society is done using it
I'm always shocked when I see that freckles were/are considered ugly because I actually find them to be quite attractive and the more the merrier, same with red hair (bright sunset orange is my favorite natural shade to see on someone but any shade looks good IMO).
Same! I always liked my freckles, but I was bullied from them and most girls would hide them with makeup. It was so weird seeing them suddenly become fashionable. I had a similar shock when glasses suddenly became cool.
this!
I've always admired freckles from a very early age, and lamented the fact that I didn't have any. My mother did and I thought she was very beautiful. I have continued to admire them thoughout my life and have never understood why some people say that they are ugly??? Where does that even come from? It's so arbitrary, but then again most beauty standards are completely arbitrary.
ive thought about this so much! also having freckles cover every inch of your face is very different to having perfect freckles just across the nose like most people paint on. ive wondered if its even made things worse, do young girls still get bullied because they dont have "the right" kind of freckles everyone is now used to seeing? now that most freckles you see are fake perfectly placed ones, not naturally scattered everywhere like alot of us have
Real excange I had with plastic surgeon. So I had to have reconstructive nose surgery and the surgeon with his collagues goes "and we will turn the nose up, so it looks better" and when I wanted to explain that I DO NOT wish to have upward pointing nose they laughed me off with "you dont know what you are talking about, also, you will regret that". I had to beg my father ( I was a minor then) to talk to them not to do that. A hooked- downward pointing nose is something like a signature for our family and I find it extremelly beutifull. The idea how close I was to losing something so personal just because it collides with current fashion still make me feel ill.
Having been around almost half a century, and watched beauty trends come and go, I'd like to reinforce two statements here:
Western society in particular will always be looking for a way to profit from women's insecurities, and WILL manipulate us through media by starting and ending trends.
The most attractive people I've met in all my travels have not all had the same features, but a light in their eyes, confidence without condensation, and interesting personalities. I'm a woman but I'm bisexual so you have both viewpoints there! Attitude, intelligence, posture, and how you treat those around you actually make more of a difference than the shape of your face. Those things are free and steadfast.
Great video!!
If you think western society is bad with taking advantage if women's insecurities just take a look at east Asia, the plastic surgery business is massive there
@@archygrey9093 yup, and look at russian "influencers" to see the WORST plastic surgery being celebrated. East also gets weird when it comes to skin colors, something mostly not allowed to judge people by in the West anymore, but skin whitening creams and procedures are a big deal in Asia.
I recently had a customer tell me I was "gorgeous" and was completely flabbergasted. I thanked them, but for the rest of the day I kept questioning it; "but my hair is under a hair net", "I just had a breakout", "maybe they're just being nice?". It took me a while to simply accept the compliment at face value. I was so focused on all the reasons I may not be considered beautiful, that I didn't even think about the reasons that I could be. It was a huge eye opener for me, and I try a little more each day to see myself in the way that kind stranger did.
Edit: I have a bump in my nose too! It was a huge insecurity growing up, and sometimes even now. I'm trying to consider it more as a "feature" rather than a "flaw".
A weird downside of rampant cosmetic surgery is that if you have one of the currently trendy body parts, people presume it's because you had work done. I have a naturally small, straight nose, yet it makes me oddly self-conscious because of how many people quietly assume it's "fake" just because it fits the current trend.
You described the feelings I have about my lips! People naturally assumed I had them puffed up because they looked so much like Angelina Jolie.
Good point
My husband has been staring at my lips lately and asking if I had something done. I'm like THE FUCK?! Like babe, omg he's known my face for 18 years. But I do wonder if people think I did something to my arse because it's so big and round. One - Greek genetics, two - I workout 🎶 and with my face again, genetics and skincare and not smoking or sun bathing.
Honestly, as annoying as this is...most people would happily trade their 'non-trendy' features with your small noses and big lips. Even if it meant some people thought they were fake.
Most of us mere mortals would love to know what it feels like to have a feature so perfect people don't believe it could be natural haha
Yeah, I'm overweight with super defined cheekbones; if I were to lose weight, I would probably look like I had the buccal fat removal thing. In reality, it's just something inherited by my grandma.
Something I’ve been paying more attention to especially with faces is the way things don’t move anymore. My gym was playing a random 80s teen movie the other day. Now even with the fact that the cast was mostly young white people who could be considered conventionally attractive for the time, the diversity of their faces and how they moved struck me. They were young and their faces could crinkle in ways that would be frozen with botox today. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. Compare that to the modern media I watch now. People in the spotlight just don’t look like that anymore. These convention exist for a (stupid and societal) reason now and I’m not discounting personal choice but I can’t get it out of my head.
I think almost daily about how grateful I am to have gotten all the way through school/puberty before social media really took off. Yes, bodies themselves have been the trend for the past half a century or so, but it really feels like it’s shifted so much even just in the last 5-10 years. Like someone else mentioned, the body positivity movement having been bastardized and co-opted by many people to define pretty much the opposite of its origin is so scary. Putting any inherent birth-given permanent trait on a temporary pedestal is so scary.
I feel the same way. I am going to be 34 and sometimes I get caught up in hou much I hate my nose lol. I can't imagine how much worse I would feel about myself if we had social media when I was younger
@@brittney4513 I totally empathize, and I’m sure you have a great nose 😭 at least we used to be able to go home at the end of the day and mostly detach, you know? Now it’s literally 24/7 people feeling entitled to eachothers lives in a way that’s so incessant and so extra it’s no surprise that every single thing winds up scrutinized and ultimately viewed in a negative light.
"almost daily"?? thinking you didn't escape unscathed, sweetpea
@@Marcel_Audubon bestie they make apps to train your reading comprehension you’ve got this 💛 just to make it a little easier for you I’ll repeat myself: I said I think daily about how *grateful* I am to have escaped the worst of social media induced self hatred. Not that I think daily about how much I hate myself. I live in a world where I have to interact with technology pretty much daily, so yes, witnessing its ill effects happens often. You seem very committed to perpetuating corny passive aggression on the internet, and the irony of doing it here is not working for you the way you think it is.
@@E42545 yeah, dearie, I understood you the first time ... guessing you know about apps to train your reading comprehension based upon your own need for them? I never implied you had self hatred (don't really care if you do or don't, rando) just making the point that if you're still thinking about the whole thing _daily_ there's something going on there .
Good luck on your continued journey to approach minimally acceptable levels of reading comprehension! You're evidently not there yet, but I'm sure you'll get there one day, sweetpea!!
You're so right! Body parts shouldn't be trends. The human body is not trendy and should not have to be trendy to be allowed to exist.
The trends were made by aliens sent here to infiltrate earth in an attempt to replace our body parts with alien limbs
Two of those books from the 1890s remind me of Anne of Green Gables. She tried to bleach her freckles and she was jealous of Diana's round face and dimples, which she thought were weight-related.
Also, Amy in Little Women put a clothespin on her nose to lengthen it. I guess tweens were made just as insecure back then as now. Lol
I'll never forget a girl in middle school making fun of my oily skin and how shiny I was. I'll also never forget scrolling Instagram nearly 10 years later to see her in full "dewy highlighted glam". It's definitely hard in the moment, especially as a preteen and teenager, but you can't let those things get to you. What's "beautiful" and "in style" changes so quickly that you'd have a new face and body every 5-10 years if you tried to change to keep up. Our bodies change on their own so drastically any way, that if you just let yourself finish developing, you might just realize that keeping up with the Jones (or the Kardashians....) is really for the birds and you've been beautiful this whole time
Its always the ones that were making fun of you
That's hilarious 😂 the irony
I'm happy that when I was younger I found The Uglies Trilogy. These books were ahead of the time in terms of plastic surgery. This was also the first time that as a kid/teen I read about wanting to grow to your mother/father face. And the character that teach that has "imperfect" nose, that he refuse to change. Great books.
"Nature doesn't need an surgery to be beautiful"
Scott Westerfeld just finished a new series in the Uglies universe, it’s worth a read :) takes place 20 years after the mind-rain, I’m almost finished the last book. I too, read the series when I was a preteen, and it was amazing!
And yet with all the social commentary the thing I remember the vividest about Uglies was using train tracks as a hoverboard road 😅
i actually read Uglies and really enjoyed it. not only was it ahead of its time but i feel it was definitely so much more well written than so many of the other YA books that were popular at the time
@@lrizzard I agree. I think that, like Suzanne Collins with the Hunger Games, Scott actually had a real idea behind his books, rather than trying to ride the wave of dystopian popularity. His new series involves new tech that we are facing moral conundrums about, such as AI and mood altering medications, without going full doomsday about it, which is refreshing. Again, I feel like he has something to say, not just reviving a series for the sake of easy money.
Edit to say that Uglies came out three years BEFORE the Hunger Games, so really, he wasn’t riding a wave at all, since the dystopian YA boom was after the success of HG.
As a fellow non-fashionable, bump-in-the-nose gal, I have had the exact same experience and growing to accept my nose (which isn’t even something I feel every day) gave me the same passionate hatred for how plastic surgery is erasing the quirks and character from faces. Soon, celebrities’s faces will leave us with the same impression as driving through an American suburb where every house looks the exact same.
Obviously body parts being "trendy" is stupid in itself, but at least in the last century, "fashionable" body shapes/parts changed like every 10-15 years, but now all it takes is a year, and we're going from bbl's to heroin chic again.
And the fashionable body shapes were achieved by clothing, and I would argue they weren't actually pretending to have a body shaped like that (who would believe anyone would have the hip and but as wide as those skirt cages and pillows made them look?). I feel like it was more for the fun of it? Idk. But definitely very different from what happens today.
I used to think the term was "heroine chic"
Even after learning what heroin was and knowing that a lot of models do drugs, I never connected the dots until I saw it written out 😂
Heroin chic is not trendy again. Leaner than bbl slim thick is not automatic heroin chic
@@joiceraiana Heroin chic is definitely making a comeback. The buckle fat removal and thin brow is the trend now which that alone gives heroin chic, plus people are removing their bbls and face fillers. Not to mention, I've been seeing these runway looks from different designers and all are definitely giving heroin chic.
@WHENDOESITEND? Tom Ford, Annakiki, Baily, Valentino, Miu Miu, etc. That's just to name a few.
The "natural beauty" part is always funny to me. My sister has natural bleach blond hair and natural dark eyebrows (she looks like Elsa from Frozen). Over the years several "experts" on blond hair have voiced their opinions about her obvious fake looks and it's always hilarious when it happens. Recently a hair dresser was explaining to her that she could obviously tell that my sister had bleached her hair herself and that she destroyed it and so on. People judge her a lot and think of her as a dumb blonde, which is honestly quite hurtful. I understand that it's quite a rare look to have naturally, but maybe stop shaming people and stop assuming you know everything?
Blonde hair + dark brows and lashes runs in my family. My aunt once got slapped across the face because “you’re too young to be wearing that trashy makeup.” (She was maybe 14 and this was the early 50’s.) My hair has darkened as I’ve aged, but I definitely appreciate never feeling like I had to bother with eyeliner/mascara.
I relate to this! I was picked on as a child for supposedly 'lying' about dying my hair blonde - but it's really my natural colour!
I has a friend in a high school who has very light, almost white hair, but dark, thick eyebrows and black eyes.
But he is a guy, so nobody had a problem with his look or assumed that it may be fake. Everybody accepted it instantly and without a doubt despite he was so unique.
I have just curly hair and heard that it cannot be natural many, many times.
"Your strands vary slightly in colour, you must have had highlights done in your hair."
"Mam, I'm 8 years old."
@@eiPderF half of my every single eyelash is blond, i have light golden-like brown hair but somehow my eyelashes are half-blonde, they look short when they are not covered in mascara
Hi Karolina, French person here. "Soubrette" actually means "maid", so the criticism of small, upturned noses, was rooted in classism more than a distinction between children and adult women. Thank you for this video, I myself have a big, hooked nose, and it's been a journey to learn to love it.
Like Chelsea Peretti? I love the nose on her. She is insecure about it, I think, but I would be absolutely distraught if she'd change it, it makes her look fierce.
@@Widdekuu91 Yes, I've been told I look like her. And I agree!
Growing up in the heroine chic of the 1990s, I had a hell of a time with my thighs. Thicc with muscle and jiggling fat. I had to do my best by telling myself I had a body that was shaped by generations of viking raids to be able to last through famine, never fall on the ice, and be able to pull a plow after the ox dies of exertion.
that is iconic
that's crazy cool are you kidding me
@@thatsdisco it's easier to hear from another person than to believe in your own heart
I have a body that's preprogrammed to store fat, make and feed babies, and I love historical costuming. Hence, when I dress up in my costume clothes, I look like Mother Goose. I'm just grateful to have some things I like to wear.
I felt it when you mentioned having curly hair in the 90s (and 00s). I was so jealous of people with straight hair. I was also built thicker in my teens than what was idealized, and I hated my face -- my cheek fat, my chin fat, the shape of my forehead. Then a few years ago I saw a family photo during the height of my ugly phase. I looked completely normal. My face wasn't doughy, my hair wasn't lame, my shoulders weren't masculine. I felt so much compassion for my younger self then. I try to keep her in mind when I dunk on my chin fat nowadays.
Karolina there's a tiny child in the depths of my soul that was ridiculed for "trying too hard" or "trying at all" when she just wanted to look nice and wear a dress or put her hair up once in a while all throughout school. "When's the funeral?" "Why are you bothering when we know you're ugly under there?"
That child feels seen and safe watching this video, so thank you.
Karolina's video about beauty standards from a year ago (??) is what made me kind of realise that fashion, ultimately, is ever changing and was one of the things that really helped with how I viewed my body. I think this video is just as important as that one and I'll keep living and loving my body as it is - societal beauty standards don't mean shit!!!
it's always fascinating for me how the tone of the voice changes COMPLETELY when one switches from Polish to English or English to Polish in a conversation. I feel like the tonation is so drastically different that it could be mistaken as two different people speaking which blows my mind!!!
I feel like it’s because I use different parts of my throat for different languages? It’s weird!
@ yeah it's absolutely fascinating!! for me the biggest difference seems to be between polish and english because when I speak French my voice doesn't really change. if only linguistics was as interesting academically (niestety nie jest)
@@lemongoose_quack i feel the same when I switch from Italian to English
so I always thought Karolina is stunning. her pointing out her nose and saying that she was self-conscious about it made me realize literally *everyone* regardless of how gorgeous they are has something they dislike about themselves.
I remember at this camp as adults, women had an idea "let's all wear makeup today" and we shared stuff we had this time together. Guys were sitting at the campfire. One of them came by us after our makeup session and said "girls, ach, you are all so naturally beautiful" 😂 we laughed so hard. He didn't see us getting the makeup.
The difference between fashion back in the day and now is that we used to achieve fashionable silhouettes threw clothing. Nowadys, this is almost impossible, since our clothes are so tight and cover so little unlike the ones in the past. We were able to create wildly diffrent shapes and forms on the exact same body with the help of corsetts, padding, multiple layers of fabric and more. Today it is like you said - our body parts have become fashion items. We treat our bodies like products and not like the temple of our soul like we used to. Not only are our clothes cheap and mass produced, our bodies are too.
Tight clothing is not what is in fashion at the moment. I'd say now is a better time than the 2010s.
@@jUQMtDmf but still nothing like earlier centuries
@@jUQMtDmf We are talking about modern fashion, so past WW2 era. Oversized jeans and yoga pants fall into the same category of modern clothing that has no boning/layering of the past.
@@jUQMtDmf exactly 💯 I think tight jeans and t shirt was a little 2013 kinda thing. I think they mean most people still wear tight clothes and skinny jeans because they don't know what is actually trending.
TBF even when the sillouhettes were more achievable, there were always people who for whatever reason couldn't achieve them even with the padding and corseting (fat people, the disabled, those too tall, or too short ect). Plus a lot of the fashions were about other things like face shape, skin tone, hair ect
Ugh, this video hits SO CLOSE TO HOME for me. I grew up in the 1990s-2010s, and thin lines were all the rage: thin body, thin lips, thin brows...
And I was always on the curvy side. Big bottom, thick thighs, full lips, full brows, round face... I always heard that I looked fat (even thsoe times I wasn't) or "disproportionate". Then, out of nowhere, my body was fashionable. I felt more offended than flattered, and people would get annoyed at that, saying I should be glad I have "the ideal body" and "how lucky I am". No, fam, it was just my body's turn. And this time around the hype lasted less than a decade.
Yes growing up in that time and hitting puperty was wild. I was so confused why all the others girls had a straighter waist and skinier body. I thought my hips were just fatter. Around 2015 a friend pointed out how I have a really small waist in comparisson to others and then it clicked. I was not fat I just had curves and then it became a trend was not picked on for a while and now some people dare to bodyshame curvy girls again. Even in my anorexic periode I was curvy, even tho it was a curvy stick ( Personally do not know a girl prior to 2015 that did not had some kind of eating disorder to fit into these crazy standarts).
You really nailed the issue here: a demand for expensive procedures is artificially created and then changed every so often so people will keep getting procedures. And if it's not procedures, then it's make up items, or clothing, and so on. And the sad part is, those are all things that ideally should empower people and give them the means to express themselves on a personal level, and yet are turned into just another source of anxiety and sense of inadequacy.
I've always had a wild, bushy, unibrow, and I remember being SHOCKED as kid when I learned that unibrows were considered beautiful in several different cultures (ancient Greece, Persia, japan, etc.) I doubt it'll ever be a beauty trend, but maybe someday I'll have the self confidence to rock my natural Freida Kahlo brow,
edit: unibrow havers of the world unite!
My family, particularly my mom, were big into teasing me about my unibrow. I had an ex who did the same. I’m more than happy to keep my eyebrows unchanged.
@@saraquill I’m sorry you went through that. That’s so mean of them.
I've never liked shaving. My partner has a slight preference for unshaved, although he really doesn't care either way.
(He just thinks being attracted to shaving is a little weird, since leg, armpit, and body hair are signs that you've been through puberty. Wanting to not have those things on a partner seems odd to him.)
I never liked shaving, but my mom taught me that I should care about my appearance, and shave or cover up. I ended up just not owning any shorts, and only shaving when I was going to wear a knee length dress to church, or if I went swimming
Now I never shave. If my partner doesn't care, I suddenly realized that I don't need to care either, and everyone else can just suck it. Even if I lost my partner, I hope I would never shave unless I really felt like it, not to avoid scrutiny.
I hope you someday are able to rock your unibrow, but if you don't, you are still wonderful. Being self-conscious about one thing because you were told to do so is not really your fault.
Humans are genetically disposed to care about what people think about us. It has kept us safe in the past, so you're brain is trying to keep you safe, even if it's not logical anymore.
You should watch some ancient statues from the middle east, especially sumerian and babylonian woman//goddes statues, almost all of them have unibrows
I do too have a unibrow. We are such cool ppl. Unibrow are adorbs 🩷
If anyone wants to argue that facial shapes are more of a "high fashion" trend than a "mainstream" trend, I would like to remind everyone that every freaking Disney channel star (well, the girls anyway) in the early-/mid-00s had the exact same heart-shaped face. I remember noticing it, even in my teens & early twenties. It's definitely A Thing.
It gets even weirder than that: child stars are all one type then as adults they don't get much work because the kids who are considered cute because of face shape are not considered attractive adults having the same, but matured, face. This even leads to young versions of characters played by child actors who look nothing like the adult version because you need to have one type as a kid and another as a grown-up. It is insane!
I feel like the blessing of my thirties beginning was finally realizing that I do what I like dress how I like do my makeup how I like, trends be dmned. If I’m comfortable and happy, then frankly my dear I couldn’t give a damn about what everyone thinks is “cool”. Must be so hard to be a teenager these days.
My life started in my thirties, too. I found the courage and knowledge to try out how I want to look. (Turns out I'm a Nazgûl ^^)
The only thing I would remark is: I wouldn't compare our teenage years to those of the current generation. It's neither better nor worse now. It's just diffrent. I just got into Make up in my mid 20s, because I had no one to show me. And Make up turned out to be one of my favorite ways to express myself.
I was homeschooled through my teenage years (24 right now), which mercifully protected me from a lot of the peer pressure that makes kids feel like they have to be cool/trendy. It was really weird to experience from "the other side" as a fellow teenager. Even in college, my friends would look at me like I was an alien whenever I expressed a lack of interest in the current trends, and chalk it up to me being "sheltered".
@@Shadeadder For me it was the other way around. I tried very hard not to be noticed. If I put on make up or dress "pretty", people might think I try to be beautiful and would pitty my feeble attempts. I wasn't bullied or anything. It was just a weired trick my mind played. And I'm in a better head space now.
Same here. I hit 31 (34 now) and somehow all the concern I used to have about the fact that I'm not particularly attractive kinda melted away over the course of a few months. Even with changing beauty standards I've still always been roughly a 5/10 and at this point I'm very very comfortable with that and anyone who doesn't like it is free to dislike it; doesn't matter to me. Anyone who dislikes ME because they think I'm unattractive is not worth my time.
@@cakeeeetime isn’t it so weird that when you come into your 30s you just stop caring about that crap. Iv pretty much stopped caring about many things and believe what I do and do what makes me happy. It’s quite lovely.
I work in the fashion industry in NY, and worked with countless models. One model in particular, very pretty girl, told me she had a nose job and had to literally recreate her entire portfolio because her face was so different. I looked at her old pictures, her nose was STUNNING before (she was middle eastern) and she had such a regal and unique look. Her nose now, yeah might be “up to standard” and yeah it looked fine, but her old nose was such a better look for her not only as a model but also for her heritage and where she came from.
I didn’t say this to her face, but now she looked like every other olive skin, dark haired girl in the industry. There was nothing unique about her anymore. Too harsh to say but I think she probably heard it from others too. Sad reality. Whatever it was her choice…
That reminds me of Bradley James from Merlin. How much of his personality he lost after changing his nose 😢
It’s sad she did that because I always think of runway models as more striking than conventionally beautiful, because the clothes are supposed to be the focus rather than the model, and a dramatic or ethereal quality would only add to effect of the show.
Marlo Thomas is a prime example of that. She was pressured into getting a nose bob in order to break into show business. If you look at photos of her younger self, her Roman nose fit her and gave her classic beauty look.
Her new tiny, button nose always looked "off" on her.
At least they didn't pressure her to "go blonde" to compete with the other blonde bombshell starlets of that era!
It also appears she refused to get implants to "fit in" with the fashion trending look of that era.
Jennifer Grey, the best example ever of what f***ing around with a distinct and recognizable feature will do to your career.
When I was a kid, I read a lot of books of collected fairy tales. One of those books was a book of Russian fairy tales, and one of the stories in that book was about three beautiful sisters. It had an illustration that showed three girls who were obviously fat. I was surprised by this and asked my mother about it and she said that was considered beautiful back then. That was when I first learned about beauty standards changing over time. Also, it was at a time when I was starting to become fat myself, so I found it personally interesting.
I draw a lot, and I find that whenever I draw a feature I start to find it more attractive. Honestly, it’s really helped me with my confidence, because I see so many things as beautiful that it’s alien to think that others wouldn’t.
(I’ve yet to find a nose type that I don’t think is beautiful, honestly. They all are)
I’ve had the same experience! 👍🏼😊
My friend of mine is an artist. Once I told her that I hated my nose cause it was big, had a large bump and it wasn't like the "standard cute small" nose. Then she confessed to me that in class she'd secretly draw my nose all the time cause she thought it was so lovely, unique and regal. I can't tell you how much that boosted my confidence and I'm happy to say I love my nose now!
This is how I feel! Not because of drawing, but I find myself genuinely thinking every single woman I see is absolutely stunning in her own way, and I can’t really fathom the concept of an “ugly” woman, and to think a lot of women feel insecure about themselves despite how beautiful they are breaks my heart
People who can’t breathe properly talk about having small nostrils
Also, one of the reasons I love the Anne of Green Gables book series, she hates her hair and her freckles the most, but overtime she comes to like them. Sure, she might’ve had to dye her hair green, and paint her face red to realize that she should just learn to live with what she looks like, but she learned to nonetheless.
Watching this video, after the 1897 nose description I thought about Anne exactly! Having read that everyone thinks she has a pretty nose I had imagined it like the little "cute" upturned noses popular today- but now I'm reconsidering what her nose would have actually looked like if the 1897 nose was truly what was "attractive" at the time
@@blessyourheart716 I also thought of Amy, from Little Women. How she doesnt like her nose. Interesting stuff
"I love a natural looking woman" and yet they can't unshaven legs
I'm only 25 years old I have noticed these rapid changes as well. In the 2000s when I was still a child, everyone around me was convinced I was the height of beauty with my round face, skinny body and western features such a blue eyes and blonde hair. But as soon as the 2010s rolled around and I was a teenager all my features started to be considered less attractive. I didn't have the curves, my face was too round, my lips were too thin, etc. etc. The only things going for me were my thick eyebrows for which I was being teased when I was younger. Now, I'm in my 20s my body type and overall look started to become fashionable again. Though, my face is still too round and my nose considered to big, I can definitely feel the change on how I am perceived, how I fit on the current scale on beauty and it's just all so f-ed up. As a woman you are constantly on the merry-go-around waiting for your natural features to be attractive again or get enhancement to fit the current beauty standard. The older I get the more I care less about was is considered the 'beauty standard'. There is no real beauty standard, they are only trends that change every five years or so and either you have it or not. I'm glad for the people whose features finally do get celebrated, but I am also worried that we take ethnic features and make them trends for mostly white people to indulge in. I really wish we would finally allow people, especially women, to just look like people. We all come in so many different shapes and seizes, it is ridiculous to constantly reinvent what beauty is and narrow it down to such a small fracture of features.
so true. I talked to many guys who said they wanted a " natural " girl. When shown a girl with no makeup they would say she was ugly, when shown a girl who was wearing makeup that was earthtoned they thought she wasnt wearing any makeup.Once I pointed out how a girl was wearing makeup and I was told by several guys I was wrong ( like Im not a girl and know? ) and I was just jealous. When they came upon her in the store wearing no make up, they didnt reconize her. I had to start her talking about things and get her interacting with them so it actually registered with them that they knew her. They didnt admit I was right, there was no acknowledgement regarding how they could have misjudged other girls....they were just mad at me saying I had ruined their fantasy of her for them and couldnt look at her the same after that. This showed me not only could guys not see makeup and didnt understand how girls looked naturally, they didnt want to.
Damn! Those dudes sound like a collection of walking red flags!
Wow they literally did not see her as a person they saw her as a product to be marketed to their preferences… sad
I've tried to explain this to my husband. What he considers a lot of makeup is simply color and application choices made, not actually more makeup. I'll have to do a 50/50 of my face at some point, to show him what I mean.
I have experienced the same thing and for me, it was also the boobs on a woman that made them (the boys, friends and my boyfriend) like the women over me.
I once paused a movie, when the boys were cónstantly saying how gorgeous, sophisticated, beautiful, dreamgirly this woman looked. So I paused it, took a cartboard folder and made them all shut their eyes. I covered her chest on the tv-screen and made them open their eyes.
They instantly didn't like her face anymore. And then they were angry at me for pulling that trick.
@@Widdekuu91 Literally like how Dr.Doofenshmirtz can't recognize Perry with his hat off but instead of Perry it's women and instead of hat it's makeup
Oh your face sideways reminds me so much of Madam X painted by John Singer Sargent! And I was obsessed with his painting for some years, especially for Ms. Gautreau's unique nose !
So often I discuss cosmetic surgery and beauty trends with friends and they feel like the conversation is over once they say "broadly it's bad that we have trends but one person can find it empowering to change their looks." The thing is that fitting in with a trend may make someone happier (until the trend changes which it absolutely will) but it is always braver and more interesting to choose ugliness or even better total fashion obliviousness.
Edit: Also as a member of various queer communities online and off for over a decade, the standards are so different. The more queer a community is, the weirder they get with it, which is a true blessing as I age and learn more about what I want to look like in a space that has far fewer and quieter opinions on the subject.
Agreed. It seems like people are really scared to step on any toes when talking about this subject, but the problem is that we NEED to step on some toes. If we cut this BS and people learned to truly love and be comfortable in their bodies, there will be a very real financial loss for several industries. To love and accept yourself exactly as you are is inherently disruptive. And like Karolina touched on, it is very much skewed towards women, which is another aspect of this conversation that I find woefully lacking online.
I think a lot of people here are forgetting that humans as a species are extremely social and are wired to want to fit in with whatever group or society we're a part of whether we like it or not and when one feels like they don't fit in it's generally quite emotionally painful, this includes fitting into commonly accepted beauty standards. I agree with the idea of telling people that they should embrace their own unique features and ignore society, but this is a much more difficult task than you seem to realize since you're basically asking someone to make themself a social outcast for the sake of making a point and many people just aren't able to do that.
This resonates with me so much. I don't shave (at all, but it's most noticeable on my legs) and everything you say just resonates with me!
@@peggedyourdad9560 It's not just for the sake of making a point though. That's part of it of course, but at least for me, to a large extent it's also about evening the way for other people down the line. I have dark hair and don't shave (at all, but you mostly notice it on my legs, in the summer), which severely bothers my Dad (even now, though it's been over a decade) and has led to all kinds of unpleasant discussions with my parents. My Dad always said if I could point out to him a single random person in public/at the swimming pool/etc who had noticeable leg hair, he'd agree to put the issue to rest. I'm probably never gonna change my Dad's mind and after many years have made my peace with that, but I severely hope that I have been or will one day get to be the example another young girl growing up can point to and save her from years of tedious and hurtful debates around the dinner table
The problem with such overpowering beauty standards is (usually) not the thing itself, it's when it becomes so pervasive and expected that it casts a negative light on anyone not following them. There's no problem if some people decide to cover the rings under their eyes with make-up, but it becomes one when so many people do it that if you don't, you seem "strangely" or "excessively" tired. And if some women feel more empowered if they remove every single hair on their body except on the top of their head, it's great for them, just as long as it's not such a critical mass that *not* doing so means you're talked of as lazy or disresepctful of other's comfort or unhygienic.
If I ever look fashionable it's gonna be a coincidence 😂 I do what looks good on me according to me and couldn't change myself. I'd look like shit if I was following trends. I've had the same hairstyle everyday for years.
So wild that blepharoplasty has become a fashion trend. Some members of my family have ptosis, which seems to be passed along genetically. Basically, their upper eyelid droops as they age until vision is partially obstructed. My father recently had a blepharoplasty because he was starting to have trouble seeing. So bizzare to see that this kind of procedure has become a fashion trend!
I think the eye jobs are more about age, than fashion, at least in Hollywood.
I spent my early teens being bullied for my big brows to spend my late teens being parised by how "full and beautiful" they are. Each compliment reminded me of an insult i'd recieved over them and made me angry, not pleased. Had I plucked them off when thin was fashion I wouldn't have had them when thick came to fashion. And now that "thin" is coming back and I don't care what people think I cannot help but feel for the young teens who do care and will be told their features are "wrong"
And I truly wouldn't change my round cheeks for the sunken look that will be unfashionable later
I just love the mentality of men "I prefer women that are natural!" 🙄
I remember until this day when I was in high school, I wore makeup every day. I heard countless of times from my male classmates (including my boyfriend at the time) how much they looove when girls are "all natural" and wear no make up. One day I was almost late for a school bus so I decided to skip doing makeup at home and take my products with me to school, to do my makeup in the bathroom when I'm free. When my male classmates saw me they looked at me with genuine and oblivious concern asking "Are you okay? You look sick!"
That day made me realize that these dumb boys have absolutely no idea how a girl/woman with no makeup ACTUALLY looks like - they wish we looked like actresses in movies, when they wear "no makeup" but in reality they have layers of foundation and other products to imitate the "natural" look. In the end no matter what you do with your look as a girl/woman you ALWAYS lose. No make up - wrong, Wearing make up - also wrong...
Oh my gosh....my classmate had a similar situation. The priest (it was on religion) told that girl: [her name], are you ok? You look very sick, you shouldnt have come to school today!". And when she told him she just didnt wear makeup, he still insisted that she's sick. They really expect us to look like models...
When a man says that prefers women with small breasts, he has a cup C in mind.
You're basing everything on your experience with high school kids. I don't think that's wise.
Tbf, normal for me is what you look like everyday, if my friend's skin color changed in one specific day I would ask her if she's sick 100%. If you wear so much makeup people have no idea of what you look like without it, aren't you addicted to it?
Yes, I ran into this issue many times. Natural beauty to a lot of men means women who are conventionally attractive and wear earthy makeup. I think this is more common in younger men, though. I recently posted a picture of myself (in my mid 30s) on my dating profile without makeup, and men my age and older don't seem to care as much.
When I was 20, I went to visit my family in Thailand. The different beauty standards, especially around light skin, really helped to reframe my perspective on beauty. Coming from the aggressive tanning culture of American IG, it really helped to reframe my view. It was so eye opening to the objective & arbitrary nature of beauty standards. What is considered beautiful depends on when & where you live. It’s all made up.
“So next time you worry about your nose not being fashionable, just give it 5 years”
The best quote to end the video I love it
As a freckled lady who has always loved her freckles, it has been very interesting for me to see it become a trend. However, even in recent years, whenever I've had my make up professionally done (mostly for weddings), I have to specifically request that the MUA not cover them up. Otherwise, they end up giving me full coverage foundation because they assume I want them gone. The same goes for my sisters.
As a freckle tanner, I find it strange too. So weird. I’ve never worn makeup because I can’t stand to see myself without them
No seriously. It seriously seems like its only fashionable to have specifically FAKE freckles. The fake ones are so obvious that you can’t even confuse them for real ones lol
I think you might be on to something there. Fake freckles are fashionable because they're delicately (and sparingly) placed. Natural freckles definitely don't have the same aesthetic. Still, I love my face the way it is.
This is exactly why the freckle trend kind of creeped me out! I remember when some of my friends were bullied for having freckles and then everyone was tattooing freckles to their faces without a single apology to the people they bullied in their youth!
And I have a funny story of my life: when I was a teenager (about 13 years old) I was upset because of my large butt. I was crying because I had a big ass and a toned, fit body was in fashion these days (2000s'). But when I reached my 20s it turned out that my butt is now fashionable and everyone was jelaous! Its crazy and I am glad that I'm an adult now and I dont really care about fashioable beauty standards. I think it is really difficult to be teenager nowadays (bc of instagram, the popularity of plastic surgeries etc.)
What I have distilled from all of this personally is: don't overdo it. If you want to look your best in any time period, accentuate your "best" features, but don't try to change anything fundamental. Of course, working on your confidence and personality to make them shine is the biggest!
i've struggled with body dysmorphia a lot of my life so i have never been able to tell what my nose truly looks like. i've gotten a lot better in recent years but i still struggle to define what is sitting in the middle of my face. as a result, i am hyper aware of other people nose and so intrigued by the vast array of shapes and sizes and lengths. i have never found a nose i don't like and i'm looking forward to the day i can finally recognize my own and give it the love that me and my nose deserve
This is a good comment. Best of luck as you continue to discover noses
This video pretty much sums up why I've never really cared about current beauty standards. I'm a plus size, round faced, curly haired Jewish woman, so I know that no matter how hard I try, it will always be unattainable for me. Plus, I like how I look, and I'm not going to change myself just because someone else has opinions on how I _should_ look.