Jordan Peterson - Overcoming Fear of Intimacy, Love, and Relationships
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- Опубликовано: 13 окт 2024
- Professor Jordan B. Peterson responds in a Q&A a 25 year-old woman who asks why she has a fear of intimacy and entering a relationship. He discusses the obstacles that play a role in instilling fear and hesitation, and what can be done to address those issues.
Original source:
• Q&A 05-22-2021 | Jorda...
Find Peterson's books here:
(2021) "Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life" - amzn.to/3nz4G1M
(2018) "12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos" - amzn.to/3CATGFx
(2002) "Maps of Meaning" - amzn.to/3qWwgIG
Jordan Peterson's website:
jordanbpeterso...
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Jordan Peterson - Overcoming Fear of Intimacy, Love, and Relationships
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“Two people who are communicating are generally saner than one person who is only thinking by themselves.”
😊. Be
“Once you get hurt you can trust as a courageous decision” 💥
"you email each other" 😂love this man
"avoidant personality" comes to my mind
I didn't realize my fear of intimacy would be a problem in my friendships, like it makes me feel disgusted when they show me affection as my fight or flight kicks in and it presents as a bad gut feeling hence I can't see a future with this friend. I just can't help it and I fear It will be a problem in my future marriage
You would probably bennfit from some NLP to clear your mind.
I feel the exact same way ill even sabotage any friendship just to make sure the other person doesn't get to a point of showing any interest.😢
I usually don't like Jordan Peterson's takes on things but this has legitimately helped me. thanks Dr. Peterson.
Exactly what I needed to hear today. God bless Mr Peterson.
There’s a lot of trash dating advice on the internet. This short video however is some of the best I’ve heard online or irl.
Thank you for that advice, Jordan Peterson! I myself suffer from „relationship anxiety“, or „Beziehungsangst“ as we call it in German.
This little speech of yours is just what I needed right now to keep going in my current relationship, facing my fears and deamons.
Allthough I do not agree with all of your political points and views, I think your work in general is important. It is especially important for young men like me.
This video in particular demonstrates that you are an intelligent and sensitive man who really wants to help. Thank you again for that!
Yes slowing down is best. There are people out there who are comfortable with intimacy and they expect the same, so voice your needs first because believe it or not, it can be a traumatizing experience, especially for those who are new to relationships. 😱🤢🤮😫😶🌫️☠️
It's so funny, nowadays the only thing we're not alone in is being alone.
Thank you Dr Peterson
I love this man
being single isn't "being along" tho.
yeah you don't want to be alone, that's what friends are for
Once friends get married or move they don't remember to have time for friends anymore, their families is their priority
@@lookaroundyou8108true, even so, I've personally not felt lonely as a single person with married friends / family.
I'm sure that's not everyone's experience, only my own!
For me it's not the emotional pain/hurt, it's the financial carnage if I got married and she just takes half my shit and goes on alimony I'm basically fked for life until I make it back. I wish it was just a few tears and some emotional heart ache, then I'd not hesitate to go into a relationship.
marriage is a social construct anyway
@@iskeipizm The institution of marriage is a civilizational good, within the social context of Western culture.
that's what pre-nups are for ;)
DO NOT GET MARRIED !
True @@iskeipizm
Well it's too late to be watching this now. I've let the fears win. I turned him down five years ago even though I wanted him too and now he came back to try again and we've been talking for almost two months and I'm starting to fall for him. I'm always overthinking and being anxious and I don't want to burden him with all my irrational thoughts. It wasn't his fault, he's very mature and stable and I need that in my life. I messed it all up today by pushing him away. I wish I could tell him how I want to caress his soul and throw myself at him but my fears won't allow that. Every time I want to show my affection my heart screams in fear like I want to run away and throw all our understanding in the bin and hide in the comfort of loneliness. At least there's certainty in being single. You don't get your hopes up only to be let down. Talking stage wrecks my mind, there's no peace or any assurance that he won't hurt me.
I hope you're feeling better now. Your heart and mind will find rest with the one you're suppose to be with, you've got time. :) It sounds like you were challenging your fear boundary which takes courage
I feel you dear you're not alone
Until the ending, I appreciated this
what's wrong in the ending?
Well.... To be told to be 30 soon is shit. That's why people in their thirties are freaking out if they haven't found someone yet.
My mother was a devouring mother, and my father's thoughts were NOT better when mixed with hers. He finally admitted the situation when he eloquently summed it up: "She made life impossible". This impacts how you view relationships as an adult in very significant ways, the least of which is being hypersensitive to any controlling behavior on the part of others. Having had a family fall apart myself, and now co-parenting, I just don't feel the need to team up with another mother and her children. I don't have the resources (time, money, energy) needed for both the existing and new family, nor do I want to force children to have new siblings simply because the new partner "comes complete with children". The idea of a romantic partner has a ghost-like appeal, but what that would look like in terms of daily functionality is completely lost on me. My life is already chaotic. I cannot endure any more chaos - not if I'm expected to keep it together and maintain my sobriety. Sometimes, you have to just accept your limits and live with the choices you've made.
You email each other 😂😂
Gold
I just don't what to think about Jordan Peterson. Sometimes I love him. Sometimes I hate him. I love him in this video.
Is it a common fear for women too? Or is it an attachment disorder?
Avoidant attachement style. Answers with Heidi Priebe
I just don’t see the point. I don’t know what I could get from a romantic relationship that I can’t get from a friend
Sex
Sex (hopefully)
I hear you. The big disagreement that I have with this video is the assumption that single = lonely.
However, to his point, all of the benefits he listed are true, and romantic relationships are different in nature than a friendship. No you don't 'need' one if you don't want one, but one does run a greater risk of being lonely later on as a single person.
Very basically sex.
For a mature relationship, two people make a commitment to change each others life trajectories for the sake of legacy - ie child or building a house or building a business empire. The love triangle has - friendship, intimacy(sex) and commitment as the 3 components of consumate (complete) love. Most friendships are only the first component - friendship. Commitment is the idea of integrating your life trajectory with another person. It's very rare to have a friendship like that.
And very deeply, marriage is a spiritual union between you and another person.. gathering as one hopefully to synergise into something even more beautiful and better at carrying out God's will (or the will of the greater good)
2:00
Man saved me 3 years of therapy in 10 minutes
What's wrong with being single at 30?
Nothing at all.
I think he said you'll be 30 before you know it, but the asker was female XD he probably meant about the reproductive shenanighans. But people find love at any age, happens all the time
@@janetholmes That's how I'm choosing to hear it as well; giving the benefit of the doubt. But if he's going to be giving this kind of advice on such a public forum, then he really ought to be more careful with his word choice (unless he really meant you'll be lonely after 30 lol)
I wish JP could be my father.
They wanted to harm me for acting out at a young age.
Hilarious, blamed, abmonised, and betrayed .
💯💯💯💯💯
yasuu
Yeah I disagree with him on the reasonableness of the risk
For everyone watching this video... JP clearly doesn't understand attachment theory. This woman is clearly Dismissive Avoidant and JP has completely invalidated her fears, challenges, and unresolved childhood trauma, and she will find almost no solace or worth or usable information in his words. To the woman who fielded this question, look up "Thais Gibson Healing Dismissive Avoidant" and watch your life and relationships turn around.
nonsense. you made a clinical diagnosis from a question. absurd
@@johnf6267Attachment theory is all the rage. That said, if all you have is a hammer, all you will see is nails.
mfw I click in this and it’s about a person of the same sex & age lol
This guy is only talking about companionship…. Best partner on paper, NOT love however.
It is impossible to cover every layer of a relationship in a 10 minute conversation dude.....
Not useful
Don't worry kid, you'll get it when you're older.
@@j.e.r.8962I'm older and I still don't find it useful.
The answer is Heidi Prebey. She talks about avoidant attachement style. She explains the roots, the triggers and the solutions. She used to be avoidant as well.
*priebe
Peterson is a snake
I think the people who would silence him are the snakes.