"Like Dr. John says..." is a daily reminder in our home. Last night my daughter ended things with her high school "boyfriend" who was treating her poorly. The ever popular "If behavior is a language what is he telling you?" Helped her make that tough decision. I am so proud of her learning this at 17 instead of much later in life. Thank you, Dr. John!
So great you are helping her make her own decisions and helping her learn valuable lessons. I was taught growing up that if a little boy was mean to you its "just cause they like you " I still have issues with self value. So props to you mama bear. Seriously, you're doing a great job and it means more to your babies than they or you know 🤍 God bless 🌻
Unfortunately many women want to raise good sons, but then when the time comes their sons are adult men, those same women make excuses for their sons bad behavior. Or worse they never told those boys ‘no’ and let them treat their gf’s like trash and made excuses for them all throughout their teen years into adulthood. Much easier to find fault in a kid that isn’t yours. My parents never made excuses, but plenty of friends parents did.. I’d go so far as to say excuses for your kids is the norm.
As a child my mother was always telling me how to treat women and to be better then the “typical man” but never said a thing about how to treat men and same with my father, both relentless with treating women right but never once mentioned men. Most people I know say the same thing, it was a big focus growing up for boys. I once asked my sister as an adult if she was taught how to treat men and she said “why would I have been” and that was eye opening to me. I’ve always prided myself on treating everyone with respect especially women and having a strong moral compass. Despite that I’ve constantly been treated poorly by women and almost daily hear negative things about men from women “typical man” “all men” “f men” “ I hate men” “the bear” “men are pigs” I could go on. That said most men are actually good yet treated like the bad ones. So a lesson I would give to my boy that I didn’t receive is that most women are going to treat him like a man that previously hurt them while simultaneously treating him like a predator just because he is a man but that’s normal so brush it off, keep your head up, still be respectful, be true to yourself, express your thoughts and feelings cuz men don’t do that enough but do it basically silent or you’ll be a typical predator man that’s also a mansplainer. I know I just ranted but it really do be like that🤣🤦♂️ I wish you the best!
When’s the last time he sent flowers, took her on a surprise weekend trip, cleaned the house without expecting ‘favor’ or expounded ‘see what I did’. No, instead he’s on accounts ogling young woman and disrespecting his wife, the mother of his children, that gave her body up to grow life not once but multiple times. Wouldn’t it be amazing if men regarded the scars of motherhood as precious and beautiful.
Don't mean to diminish your point, which is a good point, but beautiful doesn't = sexy. They both need to sit down and have conversations about what they want and desire to rebuild the passion back into their relationship. If I place my wife onto a pedestal where I think she is just so amazing and beautiful and hyper special, it can actually have a negative affect on intimacy. Connection requires both people to feel loved and desired.
@@redhood5264this is weirdest sh**. No don't place her in a pedestal, it might go to her head and then she'd realize she's too good for you, so keep looking at what you deem truly sexy, and let your woman look at 12 inchers online when she's alone 😂 in fact, she could probably use one of those big 'toys' better than she could use you. She probably never classifies you as sexy behind your back 😂😂😂 faithful women really do be fooling these men into thinking we don't have our own thoughts about these things.
@@redhood5264 you are not understanding the context of how I used beautiful. Beautiful in that she housed, nurtured and created lasting changes to her body that in other cultures see as the highest form of beauty. Not a flawless face, high fake boobs, fake lashes, hair, and liposuction transferred to the backend. Beauty of the end result to give life.
Older women can look well-groomed and beautiful and it gives you tremendous self-confidence to know that you are looking good from head to toe. Do it for yourself, and avoid trying to look like those fake Instagram women - they are also growing older! Your husband is behaving like a fool.
Seriously ive seen so many beautiful older women. Handsome older men too. Like im not into them like that cause im much younger, but ive seen older people and thought they looked outstanding! In a way where it was like i aspire to have their style or energy or confidence when im their age.
Yes. And in my opinion, when a man becomes addicted to it, he searches out more and more vile and disgusting types of it. And then the last straw is looking for child p*rn. I'm convinced that's why we have so many pedos nowadays. @@SherriFlemming
I feel like a man or woman who is married should stop seeking. We will all look at beauty as it passes by but we should respect our permanent partners by stopping the search.
Yes, her husband's actions should have been addressed but he put the focus on how she feels about herself. She's not saying that she doesn't like herself but he tells her that her that "a romantic partner knows when" she doesn't like herself. I don't think she should be made to feel that she "needs to go exercise and sit with a doctor and lose..." Sounds like she is told to focus on improving her body and possibly losing weight in order to love herself. I get that he wants her to raise her sell esteem. Maybe he realized that there's nothing she can say to her husband to change his behavior so just focus on herself.
The disrespect! It freaking sucks! For them to look at women that did not go through the pain of birthing their children. It hurts immensely. We are valuable, beautiful and worthy.
Okay? Do you expect men to not look at beautiful women just because you had kids? I mean I can’t not look at someone attractive be it a woman or man. If he’s not drooling and being disrespectful I don’t see a problem with having a glance
@@HashtagAPI8Seeing and appreciating the beauty of a woman on passing is one thing…seeking out pictures to ogle at are another. Immature and disrespectful behavior on his part.
Nowhere in the call did John say his behavior was okay. The husband wasn't on the call. At the end of the day she can't control her husband's habits. She can control how she sees herself. John correctly identified the issue she has control over. She has had poor self image for most of her life. Since before she met her husband for sure, she says as much. If he had talked about how to confront her husband and she went and did that it wouldn't have caused her to suddenly feel good about who she is now.
Are you serious? What is she supposed to do? He is looking at pictures - the same as if he got a playboy magazine 20 years ago. She needs to work on her self esteem
@@HashtagAPI8 not that that was innocent either but it is actually not the same at all anymore. Many of them are addicted to personalization, sending direct messages, getting personalized photos. It's a counterfeit intimacy and addiction to fantasy that disrespects and steals from his real family. He deserves to lose them
deloney is def wrong. Ok, there are attractive people on the internet but it requires additional actions to follow, like, comment, ogle their pictures. It’s not just appreciating attractiveness, it’s the fact that he has so little control that he obsesses over insta hoes knowing that it affect their relationship if/when she finds out.
Yeahh people forget the content requires you to interact with it or to not interact with anything else. My Instagram feed has zeeerooo models or such because I just never interact with that content 🤷♀️ ofc it’s out there, but the algorithm needs a spark to show it to you
I’m so sick of people excusing some men’s lousy behavior because they’re dopey or clueless. That’s insulting to the plenty of men out there who are respectful, intentional and mindful.
@@avtircaritas8229I’m glad you got a man back when they were still men and not just another child to take care of. Weaponized incompetence is a plague and they are proud yet somehow also dumbfounded at the divorce rate
Guys just don't seem to get the magnitude of this behavior. Many women experience this as full out adultery. It is painful. She said she does not trust her husband. Trust has been broken.
They do, they just DONT CARE!!! Many lack empathy and only have cognitive empathy . Most are selfish and don’t care !!!! Leave them!!! Don’t even entertain men !!! Majority are AWFUL
An idiot hypocritical feminazi Horrors refused to get the fact that there's a difference between looking and touching they assume that just because a man looks at some gorgeous younger woman pornstar online on the internet on a display screen of his computer or phone that he's also physically touching and having sex with her when then the stupid idiot girlfriend or soon to be ex-girlfriend besides she goes out and physically cheats so last time hick hypocrisy in the worst context. Just because someone frogs you in the shoulder doesn't give you the right to pull a gun on him and shoot him in the nuts. get real and understand something called fairness
And also when the court system stops allowing females to rape a good man's wallet in family and divorce court which happens literally in 88 to 95% of all court cases where the man ends up being pushed away from the family simply because she's found Chad or Tyrone to ride on the side because she claims your needs aren't being met or the man isn't providing enough BS hair and nail salon visits for her while she sits on her stupid ass taking selfies and Tick Tock videos while listening to idiot shows like quote The View " another drama queen Feminazi horror training trash TV.... ... then you'll see red pill and mgtow men numbers eventually go down as time passes. But until then, you're only going to see those numbers grow and eventually enough men enough quantity of men on this planet will get tired of a bunch of Jezebel whores who are pretending to be church girls raping their lives in their wallets and they will refuse to participate in marriage which is an archaic institution anyway that's just simply a contract between a man and the government and will never ever stop a woman from choosing to betray him regardless of the idiotic reasons she'll come up with to try justifying it claiming the man gave her PTSD AKA mental shell shocked. Bulshit
And I'll bet anything she started this kind of misbehavior against him first. It is a tried-and-true proven fact not only in day-to-day on the streets but in the court system that the female the vast majority of the times will be the one who portrays the male not the other way around. The female is programmed genetically naturally to be promiscuous and flirtatious
That goes both ways. Men are conditioned to think the same way. The internet constantly reminds young men that they need to be physically fit and financially successful if they want a chance with a decent girl. The internet is bad for relationships
@@TDR-0484 But those are two ACHIEVABLE things - anyone can make the decision to get in shape and earn more money. They're not like eye colour, or height (which can't be changed). It's men who choose not to make the best of themselves that women don't like. And yes, it's absolutely true in reverse too. No high value male wants an overweight or lazy woman.
@pm2886 that's not really the point. Yes, it's obvious that beautiful women and men won't flock to fat lazy people, but my point was that men and women are conditioned to think they should be alone and don't deserve love because of those things. You kind of seem like part of the problem with your response. Nobody really shames people for eye color, and getting shamed over height is mainly a male thing.
@@TDR-0484 that isn't even remotely comparable, not in the slightest. Yes we have to maintain ourselves, become better versions of ourselves. The problem here is not that, she did that, he did that, they both promised to be there for each other and had children. Unfortunately he chose to betray that promise and it has destroyed her. This is incredibly common today. Married men should not be looking at other women, online or in real life, they should be looking to their wife for all things related to those needs. Looking elsewhere is simply adultery and produces the same emotions as physical adultery.
Mine did this and didn’t have sex with me for 3 years. (We are both young and had a 2 year old. We were only together 4 years) Long story short I left him and have never been happier
@@zeal4god402 It is, indeed. Why so many people can’t see this, I’ll never understand it. It all starts with what people see as “innocent” viewing of provocative pictures and videos of the opposite sex and before you know it, the person is signing up for a dating app and chatting online with local singles. You can only imagine what comes next. The trust is forever broken. How incredibly sad to be with someone you feel you can’t trust.
It’s different for her? What?! John. Seriously?!I was married for twenty years. This is not a normal part of a healthy, loving marriage. The problem is his, not hers. Her response is perfectly understandable. Raise the bar. I’m sure she’d feel pretty hurt, betrayed and disgusted if he was going to strip bars as well., which wouldn’t be surprising. Is this what you would tell your mom, daughter and wife? So just feel good about yourself and ignore what your husband is doing? Raise the bar. I was committed to my husband and marriage and family. I didn’t go look at photos of handsome men whenever I was stressed or my husband wasn’t there for me or lost more of his hair. There seems to be low expectations for men. I didn’t flirt with or spend time alone with other men. I didn’t look at photos of men that were more handsome when I was tired or stressed or didn’t feel like being an adult. It’s hard to connect with a husband who’s spending his time with or fantasizing about other women. Yeah, men need mirrors. Maybe he should write a letter to the little boy playing with himself, while his wife is living as an adult , alone in a marriage. He can explain to the boy that he is a msn now, a husband ( father?) and leering at people’s daughters and sisters isn’t a grown up problem solving skill. Maybe he should get into counseling and he can address his problem and it’s affect on his marriage and his maturation long term.
@maryamory1549 I agree with you. But I also think it needs to be said that women need to think more of themselves than to post provocative pictures and videos online. It’s one thing for men to look, it’s a whole other ball game to go online and start talking to other women and make plans to meet up. Because, let’s be honest, it does happen.
It's not a leap. His conduct is giving her a message, which is "I like looking at internet prostitutes more than I like looking at you." It's really not that complex.
2:42 so true, at 40 I enjoy not being harassed by creepy men. Yet if my husband was looking at women on Instagram I'd wonder at what point is he gonna like the photos, send a DM and one day possible want to see this person..
Just be glad that unless your husband has money, none of these young instathots will reciprocate any interest if he does send a DM. Your fears are unwarranted.
Her husband is not sorry or trying to rebuild trust. She can’t rebuild trust with a partner that is not even trying to repair their relationship. I’m sad for her.. his actions are really hitting her in her insecurities. Double whammy.
@@chris-gx7rsreading all the comments you have posted just screams beta male. You must be like 15 years old because he things you say are so immature. If a man causes the issues, then he should be the one trying to fix things. And vice versa. I sincerely hope you don’t get married. Your wife would be miserable with a man that has this mentality. Go work out and read some books. Anything besides watching your incel videos or porn online.
@@thatsfunny2051 lol, You are extremely ignorant and mentally childish if you don't believe ALL men and some wives don't lust after others and look at porn. So silly and nieve. Are you ten years old?
Yeah I didn’t like his response either with blaming her for having body issues! It’s common sense that society purposely makes girls and women feel shame around their bodies as a means of control. And we know that men place a LOT of value around women’s looks. Why blame her for her husband’s problem??
Really would like to see a men call and say “ my wife spends time checking fit men online” to see if John would ask him to look inside him .. ! I DOUBT
Exactly!! I didn’t like his response at all it was heart breaking to hear how he blamed her for most of it!!! You could hear it in her voice that she wasn’t comfortable with his responses, so sad. I bet she now feels worse after this call…
@@bettyrodriguez6473 Wow😅 you actually heard whatever you wanted to hear huh? 😮She literally admitted that is stemmed from her childhood, was perpetuated in her modeling career, and her husband's lustfulness only perpetuated it. She sounds like she took it just fine. Who she is and believes herself to be should not be affected by other people's opinions or action. Don't like me or prefer someone else, doesn't make me feel bad about my appearance.
He probably isn't Brad Pitt. Middle aged men who think they are the prize and think that 20 something year old girls wait in line to be with them . 😂😂😂😂 Oh, honey, he is not good enough for you. He knows he can't have those young beautiful women because it's a fact: he is not enough for THEM either.
You don’t know that. There are plenty of 20 year olds willing to date older men. Simply because most women are the same. They all love money. The only difference is the older women are more demanding than younger ones.
This woman seems so nice and so articulate. It's sad that her husband is treating her so disrespectfully. It really is insulting. I'm sure her husband would be very angry if she was looking at great looking men with their shirts off.
Very few things in life will hurt more than having children with the wrong person. We should all evolve through the years, and grow in mindset (though clearly not everyone). It will crush your soul to spend a lifetime with a person whom you don’t like, don’t respect, or simply wasn’t able to evolve and grow with you.
Why on earth does any woman put up with such blatant disrespect? I would have him gone ages ago. Men are like toddlers, you have to lay down the law or else they act out!
I’ve been waiting for a call like the first one. “She sucked her gut in enough. Enough. Let that girl go play. She’s so freaking tired” definitely hit home in the way I needed to hear it.
The more disturbing thing - at least to me - is a middle aged man lusting after women half his age. That would be instant divorce for me. Either he has a serious problem, or is so trashy he can only think of women in terms of sex. Both are flaming deal breakers.
lol this is ridiculous. He’s lusting after grown women. Men are biologically driven to find women between 18-25 most attractive because that is prime child bearing age. If you have a problem with this, you have a problem with reality.
@@ChristopherTracyparade yeah these comments are goofy. My wife and I are very open about this stuff - we talk about people we think are hot and celebrity crushes. If you're getting upset about your significant other just looking at pictures of attractive people... that's all your own insecurity. If they were messaging these people or meeting them, obviously that's a problem. You'd divorce your man because you found out he's a man with attraction to women 😂
@ChristopherTracyparade you can find someone attractive without lusting over them 😂 But when your wife chases beef cakes half your age on IG at least you’ll have an excuse handy for her 😂
Saying it’s a self worth issue on her end is kind of a low blow to me. Because like she said before she found those pictures she did start to feel worthy. But when we are constantly compared to younger women that have no babies and all the time in the world for the gym and hair and nails… how are we suppose to say you know what I’m good enough. Yea my husband is looking lustfully at everything I’m not but I’m still good enough. That’s just not possible it would make anyone feel down because you want to be what your husband lusts for period. It should be an understanding when you get married that your partner will age and not look the same as when you first found each other. But men seems to think they are entitled to young women their entire lives. So sad that the expectation isn’t on the man to not go outside of his marriage to get his rocks off. Just my opinion and I know I’m not alone on that one. That’s not to say we can’t stay on top of our health and wear nice clothes and do all the things we enjoy to look beautiful. But a 20 something year old will always be an unattainable beauty for an older woman, we are put in a competition made for us to lose unless that man sees the value in making his wife feel like she’s still that beautiful 20 something year old he met.
And how beautiful you are, especially considering you've already had children and age some then you know it's your husband problem and it's not because of you
I admit I don't know the Bible well enough to quote... but if memory serves isn't there a story about a man talking about how he can't help looking at this woman and the response is well then maybe you better go gouge out your eyes?
I could have literally made the first call myself :( ... my dad did this too and it hurt so much.... after two pregnancies and getting older ... you can sense that you are not anymore seen as attractive and that is scary. I don't want to be that wife who is kept out of comfort.
John, you took call one to the wrong place. You put the “blame” on her when she clearly set a boundary and then found her husband was violating that boundary. This isn’t what I thought you’d say… her husband is being a fool.
@@Dansyoung the fact that you think men, by default, have a higher sex drive shows how lacking you are in knowledge about women. Many men AND women have high sex drives, many don’t. It’s about respect for the boundaries you agreed to with your spouse.
@@ashleyduckworthyt3224Here is an exact quote from a research article “Research suggests that, on average, men have a higher sexual desire than women, with testosterone thought to account for this difference.” It is biology.
From my experience men who are looking at those kinds of images feel like crap about themselves and or are using it to cope with something very heavy in their life. And I’m sure in addition to that an innocent man could accidentally be hooked because let’s face it, those images are everywhere. Thanks Dr. D for helping us understand their actions do not relate to our worth and attractiveness.
This is a huge deal to look at other women, because they ultimately bring those same women into your bed at night, or your shower in the morning. Hopefully, she will build her self esteem enough,that she can draw some serious boundaries when they are needed. She also needs to remember that if she sees one rat there’s already 20 in the walls…
If behavior is a language, what does his behavior tell her? I mean, they have young kids, he's married. While he's drooling over pictures of multiple women that are not his wife, he's not engaging with his family.
It’s gross and pathetic that men can’t 1. Control themselves and 2. Respect women to not be their oglers. I don’t know who needs to hear this but that stripper doesn’t care about you but you’re giving them your families $. That IG account isn’t your friend but you’re spending your time away from your family. 3. That OF account is sucking money , time, and energy from your life. Men have decided to tell themselves immorality is okay and women just need to accept it. Nah, silver divorce with women being the ones going to lawyers is real: leave ladies if your partner is disrespectful and has financial infidelity.
Nope. It's basic human evolution. Male needs to spread their sperm as much as possible. In Religion, men are allowed to have more than 1 wife too. so stfu.
Most men are like this, that’s why women are choosing to not date anymore. They are not worth it. Complaining about a woman’s body count when most of them are sexually degenerate
While I agree, I also feel like society should put equal scorn and pressure on the women on Instagram or the strippers. It's hard to teach men not to treat women as sexual objects when so many women are putting themselves out there to be viewed as sexual objects. I'm not by any means taking the responsibility away from men. But I think women need to take an equal share of responsibility
Do you expect dogs to not eat everything if left in a butcher shop alone? OF, IG and any other platform is made of content USERS put on them. Each and every photo is there to entice you to something. You are correct in saying men should control themselves. You are incorrect that only men have to change. Imagine how difficult it would be to see those pictures if each of those platforms didn't exist? Or was censored? Or women didn't post photos of a sexual nature? Do you expect men to win the fight with their biological urges while women keep enticing them? Is it a biological requirement for women to wear almost nothing, photo it, and post it for everyone to see? Enjoying beauty in women is biologically wired into the male brain for survival. What biological requirement is there for womens actions? Do you want this situation to be rarer? Tell your girlfriends to respect themselves and behave. Because there is no shortage of women and men telling men to shape up.
Thank you to the second caller, getting real about the mom guilt! I love the thought about making the marriage the most important thing in the house again. I have a 5 year old and I feel like it's time for that in my house too. Thank you for your question
THIS call is CLASSIC …….NEVER EVER A MARRIED MAN SHOULD LOOK OR CHECK ANYONE ELSE BESIDES HIS WIFE ….IT IS OBVIOUS he has LUSTFUL TAUGHTS FOR OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE …MONOGAMY IS NOT IN HIS BLOOD …..looking to satisfy himself out there is NOT MONOGAMY .
Men can be attracted to other women. Problem is she was probably the it girl back in the day and now she is not, and that's what the problem is. Bet she didn't feel like this when she was modeling, FACTS!!
Once my husband started looking at porn, then, in his eyes i became a nothing..then he died and i discovered that men find me beautiful and sexy even in my senior years.
I'm glad that men find you attractive. You deserve that feeling. I hope I will experience it too, and all the many other women who have been left at the alta, so to spea, while their husband broke their vows and turned to *orn.
I agree my husband is always looking at younger women!!! I left this relationship a long time ago !!! I’m sick of his behavior! I love myself more and look good for me not everybody else!!!❤❤❤
Looking and fantasizing at skimpy Instagram women or p*rnography is lust, sexually coveting someone that is not yours (your spouse). It is succumbing to temptation and a lack of self control. Create healthy boundaries that will help you stay away from those things. Maybe he needs to delete Instagram. Start anew and don't click on anything inappropriate because the algorithm will adjust to show you more of that type of content.
WTF?? John is trying to find out what is wrong with her!!! Her idiot husband has wandering eyes and she is the one who has something wrong with her? Girl, there is nothing wrong with you, it is him and him alone. She needs to start researching divorce options and set up her finances for a future without her husband. He is searching for her replacement. Yes he is shopping around and starting to explore fantasies in his mind.
I'm fairly certain he wouldn't be giving this advice to his own daughter. 15,000 views and only 500 likes... Clearly, I'm not the only one who thinks he dropped the ball on this one.
Went through this with my husband recently. I told him cheating is anything that one of us wouldn't do in front of the other. He deleted his apps and promised it wouldn't happen again.
@@chris-gx7rsbeating your 🥩 to strangers online is mentally unhinged behavior. Have some self respect. Those women you seek out online would never give you even a minute of their time in real life 😂 it’s kind of pathetic really. So many men bound to their screen and their hand. How embarrassing for you to be defending that. And before you said that you didn’t bring up porn, we both know you will defend pornography with your life. I’m just taking this comment to its logical conclusion.
@@chris-gx7rsWomen are insecure? How about men looking at other women when they're in a committed relationship is pathetic and disgusting. Sounds like you're one of those men, and I'm sure you'll have a long lonely life with that sick attitude.
I’m guilty of the same thing… Then my wife was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and I only had six years to be with her and now it’s over. just like the song don’t know what you got till it’s gone.
@@sidkid9873 I’m glad you found a footing to help focus on your wife and being a loving partner. You are correct, tomorrow is not promised so when it comes we need to give our partners our best. 🎉🙏🏻❤️
In same situation. Except my husband admitted to looking for connection with other women. And now that we are “trying” to work things out, I told him I don’t appreciate him liking these girls pics. Especially since I’m trying to trust him again. He fessed up and said he was using the hiding story IG feature on me because he thought he could hide his likes in those types of pics. I told him that’s even worse.
I try to stay in shape and take good care of myself. I like to look beautiful for by husband and myself. But I'm not competing with young people on social media😂 No one should be put in that position
Sounds cliche but not all men are like this. Trust me, these men are below average looking, 45+, divorced or never had a girlfriend and most definitely are just overall unsuccessful in all areas of their lives. They blame women for them being a failure, so they enjoy berating women because it makes them feel good. Good men,strong men, successful men, men who really love and respect women never leave comments like that. It's not you, it's them. Never forget that.
Maybe she should put a giant poster of a naked man in the hallway. See how he likes it. I believe in matching the energy. Women need to just start thinking like men do. He views you as a convenience. Maybe he should be too.
@@rollingstoneworks3183 i’m willing to bet that her husband is not just looking at regular photos of young women on Instagram. He is most likely watching porn multiple times a week if not every day.
His daughters will eventually see his roving eyes. Dads can't completely hide the illegitimate behavior. Then, because it comes out of secrecy, you don't know WHAT the kid is telling themselves about it. That makes it all a huge mess and dysfunction. In addition to what John said, he should have been a lot more severe on the husband. Especially since he has girls. Does the husband want other guys, and older men, looking at his daughters that way?
I hoping this message and the reason he is telling her this is because ULTIMATELY - work on herself esteem FIRST it will result in many issues be solved - surrounding herself with people who respect her, ARE trustworthy and then make a personal decision to stay or move on with anyone in her life who is not what she feels is serving her anymore or and set boundaries that will free her from other people’s choices
First call: I think what John wants to say at the end is: the looking at pictures might not be about beauty at all - might be about something that he associates with being young and beautiful within himself - like easiness of life, feeling strong, having fun and few responsibilities ... could be that he is missing something like that ... and not actually the 'beauty" and perfection. Might not be as bad as you think. But yes, can be hurtful - particularily when the caller's interpretation is right (and it is simply about beauty).
I would guess she is missing all the same things as well, but a mature person doesn't turn away from their spouse because they miss being young and carefree. He has children. It is time to put his big boy pants on and grow up
I agree sort of but what you are describing is a form of envy and he is sacrificing his own wife's self worth for his childishness, envy, and lust. And I am sure when she leaves him he will cry victim because he preferred her to suffer the cost of his choices in silence
@@robinirons8140 what I wanted to say is: all this admiration of pictures has nothing to do with the wife. It's not about her being not beautiful or young anymore. It's about him not being young anymore. So, it's not that bad in a sense that it doesn't say ANYTHIING about her worth or beauty (I think that is why she is hurting so much .... of course it is hurtful behaviour of her husband ... but besides that, she is also feeling judged on her worth and beauty ... and it is not about that ... )
@@wf4983 Yes, I understand the psychology behind it: it's not about her, it's about him. But that doesn't make it any less painful to the wife. She still feels less than, and more than that, it shows his lack of truly caring about how his actions will affect his wife and harm their relationship. Now he is not trustworthy on so many levels. He's destroyed the foundation of any good relationship, which is trust
It's really on women to stop placing so much value in the male gaze. It's a currency that's not worth anything. Getting old is bad ass and a privilege many don't have.
Men need to stop focusing on young women and go focus on their families their career and community ! Touching themselves like they are still juveniles is INSANE to try to pacify and make women accept it likes it’s no big deal. They are PERVERTS ! And don’t care !!!!
What if you were in a relationship where your partner was habitually doing this behind YOUR back, or even in your presence, and your partner continued to do so even though you spoke to them about it? This lustful behavior speaks volumes and is both disrespectful & unacceptable!!
I don't think john is excusing her husband. I think he's talking to her on the phone so he's trying to help her. This phone call resonated with me because I have the same insecurities. And what it comes down to is that I don't love myself, I wasn't always loved as a kid and I'm my own worst citric. It's about loving and accepting yourself first.
Absolutely! He said at the beginning of the call that he would be saying something completely different if the husband was on the phone. But what he said to her was to help *her* It's annoying how many people are implying that he's excusing the husband 😅
This is maybe the first time where I thought Delony was wrong in his response. She is correct to see a red flag in her husband looking intentionally at other women. She hasn’t conflated anything. I’d ask him to go to counseling, and see if he takes steps towards emotional faithfulness.
LADIESSSS. My goodness. This call was for HER. To help her and guide her to becoming more stable within herself and fixing the root issue. He stated a couple times hed like to talk to her husband which would then put him in that hot seat..two separate issues and only one can be addressed during the call
Concerning the first caller: you have way outpaced this man in maturity and personal growth. It sounds like you have accepted the fact that , yes, we age, and we move on and grow up and do grown up things. He is still acting like a school boy who can't control his impulses. I can't believe any woman, regardless of how confident she is, would be ok with her husband ogling young girls on Instagram. Set some firm boundaries with him about what is ok and what isn't ok with you. I doubt he would be too happy if the situation were reversed.
Also this happened to my boyfriend. He had alot of these girls popping up on his feed... I said it's because of his algorithms but he's only interested in F1, science, star wars etc so he thought it was strange.... He started blocking and reporting all this content with these girls and started liking everything he was actually interested in to change the algorithm.... And this content with half naked girls continued popping up even after trying to get rid of it for many months. He got so tired of it so he deleted his instagram. So the algorithm probably saw he was male between 25-30 years old so they are trying to push more of this content to get them hooked... So probably alot of men are being thrown this content without looking for it.
Yea...I have the same interests as your husband. No matter how many car or racing or sports videos I watch...the algorithm always contains at least 40% OF thirst trap content. I wish I could more easily choose what shows up and restrict other content.
@@jordenv5364 it usually means that other followers of the other content are also huge OF/model followers. Try interacting with content that’d have a different audience and the like, it should help
I get that John is trying to empower her and help her heal her own wounds and love herself which is great but please don’t excuse the husband’s behavior! So sick of men disrespecting the femininity and love of their wives because he lusts after young female images . Gross and not acceptable!
I wish Delony would do an overview of the husband’s side of things and looking at woman. I feel like it helps to understand what that behavior is pointing to. By listening to these calls I’ve come to realize how much of a coping mechanism it can be!
Imagine the days before social media and porn. Men would only see pretty young women fully clothed and in passing. Modern society is an absolute train wreck for long term relationships.
This is a healing episode for millennials. We 90s and early 2000s kids. It’s been the best thing to see the world become more inclusive physically and racially in our culture. We all have a place. We all have worth. The focus should be on what our body can do, has done, and is capable of doing when we feed it and love it well. ❤
And yet, you can't buy a whole ***** shirt at Walmart anymore if you're a female. Everything is a crop top. Things aren't that inclusive. Still sexualizing all the young teens.
It’s just irrelevant. Whatever his issue may be, he’s letting it affect his marriage. When you get diagnosed with diabetes from eating too much sugar you can ask yourself what behaviour led to that, but that won’t make your blood sugar magically drop
She “got a message at some time that she wasn’t worthy.” Everyday, all the time, in pictures, in the media, from men, from women, from parents, from your spouse, from your friends. And yes, it happens to men too. At least she’s trying to find a way to let it be.
For the first caller, I think that she explicitly told him she didnt want that and he does it anyway is really telling of his character. He does it knowing she is insecure about it. Her partner is communicating through his actions that he doesn't respect her or find her beautiful enough! She is right to be hurt by this! Especially when its INTENTIONAL!
Its the fact she KNOWS he's doing it. Why is she SEEING it happen? Girl post your own thirst traps and see how easy it is to get men to look! prove a point.
All of this comes down to: Men should not get married if they aren’t prepared to be monogamous. I never understand why the hell they get married and then proceed to pine for other women.
Please put your listening ears on. 3:45 throughout the whole entire call he’s giving her tools for what she can do in the little control she has. She has no control over her husband. John did not blame her. Listen to the call again.
I loved the conversation with the second caller. It’s nice to hear I’m not the only parent who struggles with this. Maybe it’s a sign we are good parents? That’s what I tell myself anyway.
I've really struggled to find a therapist in my area. Most of them are so busy they won't return your calls. The few that aren't THAT busy are all booked. No, I think therapy is just out of reach for me. If I had gotten a therapist before the pandemic and stuck with that person I would be good now, but nowadays its pretty much impossible to find a therapist who isn't booked solid. Also if you make a certain amount (like over $45k) you don't qualify for ANY financial help when it comes to getting therapy. So if you are making more than $45k and can't afford a therapist....then RUclips is your therapist.
He always says to women, “somewhere along the line you learned that your worth was tied to your beauty” and asks about their mother etc. Like this isn’t the universal experience of women and perpetuated by society. It’s not the mother’s fault for going on a diet.
Women, if you can't handle this possibility of being with someone who has a lustful eye, because most men do. Then it is better to stay single and not marry. Most men don't see this as wrong behavior and think women partners should just accept it. So if you can't accept it, don't start any relationship. You can't change any man. And most men do not change.
That's basically just you lowering your expectations because you know you'd be disappointed by us all the time. I promise you, love, there are some of us out there that do not lust after women decades younger than us. I, myself, am almost 40 and once you hit my age it's really hard to tell the difference between a 17 and 23 year old. Hell, NOBODY can tell the difference between a 17 and 18 year old. If your man is lusting after women half his age, or even barely legal teenagers, it is not your fault for setting realistic expectations. In medieval times, since girls hit their period around 8-13, with their fertility being it's highest after their first menstrual cycle, older men would lust for them. Was this normal back then? Maybe. We're those men still pdfiles? Absolutely. A lot of points these guys bring up have to do with them being biologically engrained to like the most fertile women, whom are younger. That, by default, makes them attracted to children. I'm sure you know most men aren't like this, but 66% of girls are SA before 18, and this number is high for a reason. Stop lowering your expectations when it comes to the father of your children, I promise you, we are no longer biologically engrained to lust for children. Only some are, and they're the ones searching things like "barely legal" or "teen" on PH.
If I didn’t know any better, I would think this was me talking. I then beat myself up over and over again because I know I shouldn’t measure my worth based on what someone else is doing. I tell myself I’m pathetic because this isn’t what strong, independent women do. So not only do I have to forgive my husband. I have to try and forgive myself for my own thoughts.
Her husband does this because he thinks he is 10, when he is really a 4. I'm pretty certain you are the prize in the relationship and he is an insecure, rude, ego maniac.
"Like Dr. John says..." is a daily reminder in our home.
Last night my daughter ended things with her high school "boyfriend" who was treating her poorly. The ever popular "If behavior is a language what is he telling you?" Helped her make that tough decision. I am so proud of her learning this at 17 instead of much later in life.
Thank you, Dr. John!
Thank you for being a supportive parent 🙏🏿❤️
Smart girl. Way ahead of the game.
@@barbiesergio7663 ran thro
So great you are helping her make her own decisions and helping her learn valuable lessons. I was taught growing up that if a little boy was mean to you its "just cause they like you " I still have issues with self value. So props to you mama bear. Seriously, you're doing a great job and it means more to your babies than they or you know 🤍 God bless 🌻
@iveylomax3330 I'm so sorry you were taught that lie. I pray that you see yourself as worthy of sincere love 🙏🏿❤️
I have a son and I hope I raise him better than the typical man.
It’s difficult in a world that wants to praise him for being incompetent, immoral and mediocre. I wish you luck.
Men are wonderful how we are and it’s a shame women try to hard to change and feminize us. He will suffer if you take this approach. Beware.
Unfortunately many women want to raise good sons, but then when the time comes their sons are adult men, those same women make excuses for their sons bad behavior. Or worse they never told those boys ‘no’ and let them treat their gf’s like trash and made excuses for them all throughout their teen years into adulthood. Much easier to find fault in a kid that isn’t yours. My parents never made excuses, but plenty of friends parents did.. I’d go so far as to say excuses for your kids is the norm.
Keep him away from porn at all costs and he'll end up okay
As a child my mother was always telling me how to treat women and to be better then the “typical man” but never said a thing about how to treat men and same with my father, both relentless with treating women right but never once mentioned men. Most people I know say the same thing, it was a big focus growing up for boys. I once asked my sister as an adult if she was taught how to treat men and she said “why would I have been” and that was eye opening to me. I’ve always prided myself on treating everyone with respect especially women and having a strong moral compass. Despite that I’ve constantly been treated poorly by women and almost daily hear negative things about men from women “typical man” “all men” “f men” “ I hate men” “the bear” “men are pigs” I could go on. That said most men are actually good yet treated like the bad ones. So a lesson I would give to my boy that I didn’t receive is that most women are going to treat him like a man that previously hurt them while simultaneously treating him like a predator just because he is a man but that’s normal so brush it off, keep your head up, still be respectful, be true to yourself, express your thoughts and feelings cuz men don’t do that enough but do it basically silent or you’ll be a typical predator man that’s also a mansplainer.
I know I just ranted but it really do be like that🤣🤦♂️
I wish you the best!
When’s the last time he sent flowers, took her on a surprise weekend trip, cleaned the house without expecting ‘favor’ or expounded ‘see what I did’. No, instead he’s on accounts ogling young woman and disrespecting his wife, the mother of his children, that gave her body up to grow life not once but multiple times. Wouldn’t it be amazing if men regarded the scars of motherhood as precious and beautiful.
Don't mean to diminish your point, which is a good point, but beautiful doesn't = sexy. They both need to sit down and have conversations about what they want and desire to rebuild the passion back into their relationship. If I place my wife onto a pedestal where I think she is just so amazing and beautiful and hyper special, it can actually have a negative affect on intimacy. Connection requires both people to feel loved and desired.
@@redhood5264this is weirdest sh**. No don't place her in a pedestal, it might go to her head and then she'd realize she's too good for you, so keep looking at what you deem truly sexy, and let your woman look at 12 inchers online when she's alone 😂 in fact, she could probably use one of those big 'toys' better than she could use you. She probably never classifies you as sexy behind your back 😂😂😂 faithful women really do be fooling these men into thinking we don't have our own thoughts about these things.
@@redhood5264 you are not understanding the context of how I used beautiful. Beautiful in that she housed, nurtured and created lasting changes to her body that in other cultures see as the highest form of beauty. Not a flawless face, high fake boobs, fake lashes, hair, and liposuction transferred to the backend.
Beauty of the end result to give life.
Ya he missed the mark on this call
Amen and Amen to the original comment which basically says, “Love, respect and appreciate the wife of your youth”.
Older women can look well-groomed and beautiful and it gives you tremendous self-confidence to know that you are looking good from head to toe. Do it for yourself, and avoid trying to look like those fake Instagram women - they are also growing older! Your husband is behaving like a fool.
@@KristaldeauCityLightsDisagree lol
@@KristaldeauCityLights Nah.
Seriously ive seen so many beautiful older women. Handsome older men too. Like im not into them like that cause im much younger, but ive seen older people and thought they looked outstanding! In a way where it was like i aspire to have their style or energy or confidence when im their age.
The lack of commitment and addictions in relationships and marriages are a huge problem. Porn destroys relationships.
Yes. And in my opinion, when a man becomes addicted to it, he searches out more and more vile and disgusting types of it. And then the last straw is looking for child p*rn. I'm convinced that's why we have so many pedos nowadays. @@SherriFlemming
I feel like a man or woman who is married should stop seeking. We will all look at beauty as it passes by but we should respect our permanent partners by stopping the search.
@@maggies88 I agree but they have been weakened by their vices/comfort and don't know how to build as much as consume and tear down their own houses
Yes, her husband's actions should have been addressed but he put the focus on how she feels about herself. She's not saying that she doesn't like herself but he tells her that her that "a romantic partner knows when" she doesn't like herself. I don't think she should be made to feel that she "needs to go exercise and sit with a doctor and lose..." Sounds like she is told to focus on improving her body and possibly losing weight in order to love herself. I get that he wants her to raise her sell esteem. Maybe he realized that there's nothing she can say to her husband to change his behavior so just focus on herself.
💯 If they do not they are committing adultery.
100%
I like how you put it. When a man is searching. Pretty hard not to see pretty pretty people. But if you seek or search, save images it's wrong
The disrespect! It freaking sucks! For them to look at women that did not go through the pain of birthing their children. It hurts immensely. We are valuable, beautiful and worthy.
Okay? Do you expect men to not look at beautiful women just because you had kids? I mean I can’t not look at someone attractive be it a woman or man. If he’s not drooling and being disrespectful I don’t see a problem with having a glance
@@HashtagAPI8Seeing and appreciating the beauty of a woman on passing is one thing…seeking out pictures to ogle at are another. Immature and disrespectful behavior on his part.
Yup. Men like that don't deserve babies.
@@HashtagAPI8 kinda wild to admit to this level of lack of self control
@@HashtagAPI8 Looking EVERY DAY is not "having a glance."
Caller 1! So she should be ok with this crappy behavior of her husband? How did this answer become how she needs to accept getting older!!!????
Nowhere in the call did John say his behavior was okay. The husband wasn't on the call. At the end of the day she can't control her husband's habits. She can control how she sees herself.
John correctly identified the issue she has control over. She has had poor self image for most of her life. Since before she met her husband for sure, she says as much.
If he had talked about how to confront her husband and she went and did that it wouldn't have caused her to suddenly feel good about who she is now.
Are you serious? What is she supposed to do? He is looking at pictures - the same as if he got a playboy magazine 20 years ago. She needs to work on her self esteem
@@HashtagAPI8 not that that was innocent either but it is actually not the same at all anymore. Many of them are addicted to personalization, sending direct messages, getting personalized photos. It's a counterfeit intimacy and addiction to fantasy that disrespects and steals from his real family. He deserves to lose them
With the first call…A lot of people think this is no big deal, but to me it’s HUGE because it shows me that my man doesn’t respect me ultimately.
@meesh1002 ALL men are looking at younger women. Not saying it's right to pay like Only Fans (pathetic).
Men don't respect you no matter what. All of them will cheat eventually. So marry rich!
@@GUITARTIME2024that’s fine, I’m sure many women look too but when you make it obvious or are spending money on it, that’s when it becomes an issue
If he knows it hurts his wife and continues to do it, very telling.
@@GUITARTIME2024 it’s normal to be attracted to other people but to actively look at them is disrespectful IMO
deloney is def wrong. Ok, there are attractive people on the internet but it requires additional actions to follow, like, comment, ogle their pictures. It’s not just appreciating attractiveness, it’s the fact that he has so little control that he obsesses over insta hoes knowing that it affect their relationship if/when she finds out.
Yeahh people forget the content requires you to interact with it or to not interact with anything else. My Instagram feed has zeeerooo models or such because I just never interact with that content 🤷♀️ ofc it’s out there, but the algorithm needs a spark to show it to you
Yes!
Completely agree
Exactly, him liking and following means he wants to see more of them and probably hoping she notices him and gives him attention back.
Yes, and also additional actions such as subscribing to their channel and taking screenshots and saving them.
Completely normal reaction for a woman. None of the blame should be on her or her past
I’m so sick of people excusing some men’s lousy behavior because they’re dopey or clueless. That’s insulting to the plenty of men out there who are respectful, intentional and mindful.
Agreed. I know men are capable of being respectful of their partner's boundaries because mine always has been. And we've been together since 1982.
@@avtircaritas8229I’m glad you got a man back when they were still men and not just another child to take care of. Weaponized incompetence is a plague and they are proud yet somehow also dumbfounded at the divorce rate
Modern women are not worth marrying.
Married my man in 2011, and he is a real man, too. They are out there! He would never do this to me.
Men are not dumb, they know EXACTLY what they're doing always...
Guys just don't seem to get the magnitude of this behavior. Many women experience this as full out adultery. It is painful. She said she does not trust her husband. Trust has been broken.
They do, they just DONT CARE!!! Many lack empathy and only have cognitive empathy . Most are selfish and don’t care !!!! Leave them!!! Don’t even entertain men !!! Majority are AWFUL
An idiot hypocritical feminazi Horrors refused to get the fact that there's a difference between looking and touching they assume that just because a man looks at some gorgeous younger woman pornstar online on the internet on a display screen of his computer or phone that he's also physically touching and having sex with her when then the stupid idiot girlfriend or soon to be ex-girlfriend besides she goes out and physically cheats so last time hick hypocrisy in the worst context. Just because someone frogs you in the shoulder doesn't give you the right to pull a gun on him and shoot him in the nuts.
get real and understand something called fairness
And also when the court system stops allowing females to rape a good man's wallet in family and divorce court which happens literally in 88 to 95% of all court cases where the man ends up being pushed away from the family simply because she's found Chad or Tyrone to ride on the side because she claims your needs aren't being met or the man isn't providing enough BS hair and nail salon visits for her while she sits on her stupid ass taking selfies and Tick Tock videos while listening to idiot shows like quote The View " another drama queen Feminazi horror training trash TV....
... then you'll see red pill and mgtow men numbers eventually go down as time passes. But until then, you're only going to see those numbers grow and eventually enough men enough quantity of men on this planet will get tired of a bunch of Jezebel whores who are pretending to be church girls raping their lives in their wallets and they will refuse to participate in marriage which is an archaic institution anyway that's just simply a contract between a man and the government and will never ever stop a woman from choosing to betray him regardless of the idiotic reasons she'll come up with to try justifying it claiming the man gave her PTSD AKA mental shell shocked. Bulshit
Theu would understand if it were being done to them
100%. I could hear the pain in the first caller's voice. IMO, I don't feel like Dr. John realized the depth of that pain.
I bet it's way more than just looking at photos on Instagram he's probably also staring at women in public and not being romantic with her anymore
Don’t assume anything
@@openhousefotoandfilmstop assuming the benefit of the doubt pervert
@@openhousefotoandfilmmen who always defend order men’s terrible actions just look like they’re covering up their own.
Facts. It's a habit that doesn't just stay on an app.
And I'll bet anything she started this kind of misbehavior against him first. It is a tried-and-true proven fact not only in day-to-day on the streets but in the court system that the female the vast majority of the times will be the one who portrays the male not the other way around. The female is programmed genetically naturally to be promiscuous and flirtatious
It's awful how women are conditioned to feel not good enough for low value men
That goes both ways. Men are conditioned to think the same way. The internet constantly reminds young men that they need to be physically fit and financially successful if they want a chance with a decent girl. The internet is bad for relationships
@@TDR-0484 But those are two ACHIEVABLE things - anyone can make the decision to get in shape and earn more money. They're not like eye colour, or height (which can't be changed). It's men who choose not to make the best of themselves that women don't like. And yes, it's absolutely true in reverse too. No high value male wants an overweight or lazy woman.
@pm2886 that's not really the point. Yes, it's obvious that beautiful women and men won't flock to fat lazy people, but my point was that men and women are conditioned to think they should be alone and don't deserve love because of those things. You kind of seem like part of the problem with your response. Nobody really shames people for eye color, and getting shamed over height is mainly a male thing.
Those are pretty powerful words right there
@@TDR-0484 that isn't even remotely comparable, not in the slightest. Yes we have to maintain ourselves, become better versions of ourselves. The problem here is not that, she did that, he did that, they both promised to be there for each other and had children. Unfortunately he chose to betray that promise and it has destroyed her. This is incredibly common today. Married men should not be looking at other women, online or in real life, they should be looking to their wife for all things related to those needs. Looking elsewhere is simply adultery and produces the same emotions as physical adultery.
Mine did this and didn’t have sex with me for 3 years. (We are both young and had a 2 year old. We were only together 4 years) Long story short I left him and have never been happier
Good on u ❤
So PROUD OF YOU! Strong Queen 👑 I did the same …😊🫂💋
I wish I had known when I was younger that my husband was only going to get worse and not change. Good for you.
@@suadasuehuseinovic2472 thank you! Same to you
Emotional infidelity is the precursor to physical infidelity
@@zeal4god402 It is, indeed. Why so many people can’t see this, I’ll never understand it. It all starts with what people see as “innocent” viewing of provocative pictures and videos of the opposite sex and before you know it, the person is signing up for a dating app and chatting online with local singles. You can only imagine what comes next. The trust is forever broken. How incredibly sad to be with someone you feel you can’t trust.
That's very true
Indeed. Porn destroys relationships.
Truth 👏
It’s different for her?
What?!
John. Seriously?!I was married for twenty years. This is not a normal part of a healthy, loving marriage.
The problem is his, not hers.
Her response is perfectly understandable.
Raise the bar.
I’m sure she’d feel pretty hurt, betrayed and disgusted if he was going to strip bars as well., which wouldn’t be surprising.
Is this what you would tell your mom, daughter and wife?
So just feel good about yourself and ignore what your husband is doing? Raise the bar.
I was committed to my husband and marriage and family.
I didn’t go look at photos of handsome men whenever I was stressed or my husband wasn’t there for me or lost more of his hair.
There seems to be low expectations for men.
I didn’t flirt with or spend time alone with other men. I didn’t look at photos of men that were more handsome when I was tired or stressed or didn’t feel like being an adult.
It’s hard to connect with a husband who’s spending his time with or fantasizing about other women. Yeah, men need mirrors.
Maybe he should write a letter to the little boy playing with himself, while his wife is living as an adult , alone in a marriage.
He can explain to the boy that he is a msn now, a husband ( father?) and leering at people’s daughters and sisters isn’t a grown up problem solving skill. Maybe he should get into counseling and he can address his problem and it’s affect on his marriage and his maturation long term.
You sound fun…
@maryamory1549 I agree with you. But I also think it needs to be said that women need to think more of themselves than to post provocative pictures and videos online. It’s one thing for men to look, it’s a whole other ball game to go online and start talking to other women and make plans to meet up. Because, let’s be honest, it does happen.
The woman early on in the relationship told the guy her boundaries. He agreed to abide by them. He is in the wrong.
You are 💯 correct
AGREED
It's not a leap. His conduct is giving her a message, which is "I like looking at internet prostitutes more than I like looking at you." It's really not that complex.
2:42 so true, at 40 I enjoy not being harassed by creepy men. Yet if my husband was looking at women on Instagram I'd wonder at what point is he gonna like the photos, send a DM and one day possible want to see this person..
Just be glad that unless your husband has money, none of these young instathots will reciprocate any interest if he does send a DM. Your fears are unwarranted.
Her husband is not sorry or trying to rebuild trust. She can’t rebuild trust with a partner that is not even trying to repair their relationship. I’m sad for her.. his actions are really hitting her in her insecurities. Double whammy.
I wish they would have went into that more. Not sure if he's actually sorry or not.
Well men should not rebuild the relationship women should not men
@@chris-gx7rsBOTH should.
@@chris-gx7rsI’m sorry, is he a child or the head of the house? Of course men should rebuild.
@@chris-gx7rsreading all the comments you have posted just screams beta male. You must be like 15 years old because he things you say are so immature. If a man causes the issues, then he should be the one trying to fix things. And vice versa. I sincerely hope you don’t get married. Your wife would be miserable with a man that has this mentality. Go work out and read some books. Anything besides watching your incel videos or porn online.
This woman's husband is every woman's worst nightmare. I really don't believe that any emotionally normal woman is fine with this behaviour
@@thatsfunny2051 lol, You are extremely ignorant and mentally childish if you don't believe ALL men and some wives don't lust after others and look at porn. So silly and nieve. Are you ten years old?
Nope 👎 their not
I was a people pleaser and the “cool girl” and I’m still not ok with this behavior
I feel for her. Please take care of yourself. Therapy, working out, self care. Build your self worth and you will live a much happier life ❤️
I think this took a really strange turn. I think she deserves a redo on this call. She led with having kids right away .
Yeah I didn’t like his response either with blaming her for having body issues! It’s common sense that society purposely makes girls and women feel shame around their bodies as a means of control. And we know that men place a LOT of value around women’s looks. Why blame her for her husband’s problem??
100% you nailed it. Couldn’t agree with you more.
She didn't state the ages of the kids. That's what I thought he was referring to.
This is a lesson to use protection and not just have kids right away
@BZGumby I didn't understand why he thought the ages of her children should matter.
The woman upfront told her man her boundaries and he agreed to those boundaries. Full stop.
Really would like to see a men call and say “ my wife spends time checking fit men online” to see if John would ask him to look inside him .. ! I DOUBT
That’s the thing - women actually have a moral compass
Really?! Have you seen what happens at bachelorette parties?
Exactly!! I didn’t like his response at all it was heart breaking to hear how he blamed her for most of it!!! You could hear it in her voice that she wasn’t comfortable with his responses, so sad. I bet she now feels worse after this call…
@@bettyrodriguez6473 Wow😅 you actually heard whatever you wanted to hear huh? 😮She literally admitted that is stemmed from her childhood, was perpetuated in her modeling career, and her husband's lustfulness only perpetuated it. She sounds like she took it just fine. Who she is and believes herself to be should not be affected by other people's opinions or action. Don't like me or prefer someone else, doesn't make me feel bad about my appearance.
men really dont care nearly as much
He probably isn't Brad Pitt. Middle aged men who think they are the prize and think that 20 something year old girls wait in line to be with them . 😂😂😂😂 Oh, honey, he is not good enough for you. He knows he can't have those young beautiful women because it's a fact: he is not enough for THEM either.
Love love this comment! So true these type of men are living in a fansty
You don’t know that.
There are plenty of 20 year olds willing to date older men.
Simply because most women are the same. They all love money. The only difference is the older women are more demanding than younger ones.
Yeah because 20 years old are in line even ugly men HAHAHA get mad oldy.
And he isn’t good enough for the caller either.
@@thetruthtrumpsallliesfromt4399 nope. Younger women dating older men is not the norm.
Whosoever looketh at a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her in his heart
Dost thou speaketh in regular English whensoever thine desirest not to feigneth superiorityethesteth?
@@benmyers9030 😅😅
Dude, please stop going to church
@@benmyers9030 peepee poopoo,
@@benmyers9030they were quoting a Bible verse
This woman seems so nice and so articulate. It's sad that her husband is treating her so disrespectfully. It really is insulting. I'm sure her husband would be very angry if she was looking at great looking men with their shirts off.
Or if she's admiring smart men since he's not lol
Her husband is a dog and she needs to know her value! When she has her self esteem intact she will know what to do next!
Maybe she’s low value too. Otherwise, why is he looking at young instathots? Maybe she needs to hit the gym.
Very few things in life will hurt more than having children with the wrong person. We should all evolve through the years, and grow in mindset (though clearly not everyone). It will crush your soul to spend a lifetime with a person whom you don’t like, don’t respect, or simply wasn’t able to evolve and grow with you.
Why on earth does any woman put up with such blatant disrespect? I would have him gone ages ago. Men are like toddlers, you have to lay down the law or else they act out!
I cried half this first call. Wish I had someone like John when I was younger. My life would have gone much, much differently.
I’ve been waiting for a call like the first one. “She sucked her gut in enough. Enough. Let that girl go play. She’s so freaking tired” definitely hit home in the way I needed to hear it.
The more disturbing thing - at least to me - is a middle aged man lusting after women half his age. That would be instant divorce for me. Either he has a serious problem, or is so trashy he can only think of women in terms of sex. Both are flaming deal breakers.
Bingo
Completely agree ☺️💯
lol this is ridiculous. He’s lusting after grown women. Men are biologically driven to find women between 18-25 most attractive because that is prime child bearing age. If you have a problem with this, you have a problem with reality.
@@ChristopherTracyparade yeah these comments are goofy. My wife and I are very open about this stuff - we talk about people we think are hot and celebrity crushes. If you're getting upset about your significant other just looking at pictures of attractive people... that's all your own insecurity. If they were messaging these people or meeting them, obviously that's a problem. You'd divorce your man because you found out he's a man with attraction to women 😂
@ChristopherTracyparade you can find someone attractive without lusting over them 😂 But when your wife chases beef cakes half your age on IG at least you’ll have an excuse handy for her 😂
Saying it’s a self worth issue on her end is kind of a low blow to me. Because like she said before she found those pictures she did start to feel worthy. But when we are constantly compared to younger women that have no babies and all the time in the world for the gym and hair and nails… how are we suppose to say you know what I’m good enough. Yea my husband is looking lustfully at everything I’m not but I’m still good enough. That’s just not possible it would make anyone feel down because you want to be what your husband lusts for period. It should be an understanding when you get married that your partner will age and not look the same as when you first found each other. But men seems to think they are entitled to young women their entire lives. So sad that the expectation isn’t on the man to not go outside of his marriage to get his rocks off. Just my opinion and I know I’m not alone on that one.
That’s not to say we can’t stay on top of our health and wear nice clothes and do all the things we enjoy to look beautiful. But a 20 something year old will always be an unattainable beauty for an older woman, we are put in a competition made for us to lose unless that man sees the value in making his wife feel like she’s still that beautiful 20 something year old he met.
And how beautiful you are, especially considering you've already had children and age some then you know it's your husband problem and it's not because of you
Well said.
It's sad that some men will never even try to understand this
I admit I don't know the Bible well enough to quote... but if memory serves isn't there a story about a man talking about how he can't help looking at this woman and the response is well then maybe you better go gouge out your eyes?
To save his soul
Yes
I could have literally made the first call myself :( ... my dad did this too and it hurt so much.... after two pregnancies and getting older ... you can sense that you are not anymore seen as attractive and that is scary. I don't want to be that wife who is kept out of comfort.
John, you took call one to the wrong place. You put the “blame” on her when she clearly set a boundary and then found her husband was violating that boundary. This isn’t what I thought you’d say… her husband is being a fool.
John knows men have testosterone, that’s means they have a higher drive. This isn’t unusual behaviour.
@@DansyoungIt's common behaviour. So is being a total glutton in modern America. Neither are healthy or right
@@Dansyoung the fact that you think men, by default, have a higher sex drive shows how lacking you are in knowledge about women. Many men AND women have high sex drives, many don’t. It’s about respect for the boundaries you agreed to with your spouse.
@@ashleyduckworthyt3224Here is an exact quote from a research article “Research suggests that, on average, men have a higher sexual desire than women, with testosterone thought to account for this difference.” It is biology.
@@ashleyduckworthyt3224 On average they do, there is research that proves this.
Watching this show has been one of the proudest decisions I've made so far. Thank you, John, and the entire show team!
From my experience men who are looking at those kinds of images feel like crap about themselves and or are using it to cope with something very heavy in their life. And I’m sure in addition to that an innocent man could accidentally be hooked because let’s face it, those images are everywhere. Thanks Dr. D for helping us understand their actions do not relate to our worth and attractiveness.
This is a huge deal to look at other women, because they ultimately bring those same women into your bed at night, or your shower in the morning. Hopefully, she will build her self esteem enough,that she can draw some serious boundaries when they are needed. She also needs to remember that if she sees one rat there’s already 20 in the walls…
❤
If a wife offers more than sex, this shouldn’t be an issue.
If behavior is a language, what does his behavior tell her? I mean, they have young kids, he's married. While he's drooling over pictures of multiple women that are not his wife, he's not engaging with his family.
To be honest, almost all women have been told, at least in American society, is that their beauty = their worth.
When I get told or it's inferred that I'm not enough, the response I give Is ALWAYs the same....
There's the door...
It’s gross and pathetic that men can’t 1. Control themselves and 2. Respect women to not be their oglers. I don’t know who needs to hear this but that stripper doesn’t care about you but you’re giving them your families $. That IG account isn’t your friend but you’re spending your time away from your family. 3. That OF account is sucking money , time, and energy from your life.
Men have decided to tell themselves immorality is okay and women just need to accept it. Nah, silver divorce with women being the ones going to lawyers is real: leave ladies if your partner is disrespectful and has financial infidelity.
Nope. It's basic human evolution. Male needs to spread their sperm as much as possible. In Religion, men are allowed to have more than 1 wife too. so stfu.
Most men are like this, that’s why women are choosing to not date anymore. They are not worth it. Complaining about a woman’s body count when most of them are sexually degenerate
While I agree, I also feel like society should put equal scorn and pressure on the women on Instagram or the strippers. It's hard to teach men not to treat women as sexual objects when so many women are putting themselves out there to be viewed as sexual objects. I'm not by any means taking the responsibility away from men. But I think women need to take an equal share of responsibility
@@Daishi43there's are hundreds of RUclips shows dedicated to making fun of women that do that.
Do you expect dogs to not eat everything if left in a butcher shop alone?
OF, IG and any other platform is made of content USERS put on them. Each and every photo is there to entice you to something.
You are correct in saying men should control themselves.
You are incorrect that only men have to change. Imagine how difficult it would be to see those pictures if each of those platforms didn't exist? Or was censored? Or women didn't post photos of a sexual nature? Do you expect men to win the fight with their biological urges while women keep enticing them? Is it a biological requirement for women to wear almost nothing, photo it, and post it for everyone to see? Enjoying beauty in women is biologically wired into the male brain for survival. What biological requirement is there for womens actions?
Do you want this situation to be rarer? Tell your girlfriends to respect themselves and behave. Because there is no shortage of women and men telling men to shape up.
Thank you to the second caller, getting real about the mom guilt! I love the thought about making the marriage the most important thing in the house again. I have a 5 year old and I feel like it's time for that in my house too. Thank you for your question
THIS call is CLASSIC …….NEVER EVER A MARRIED MAN SHOULD LOOK OR CHECK ANYONE ELSE BESIDES HIS WIFE ….IT IS OBVIOUS he has LUSTFUL TAUGHTS FOR OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE …MONOGAMY IS NOT IN HIS BLOOD …..looking to satisfy himself out there is NOT MONOGAMY .
This is laughably unrealistic.
@ ….I see …goes against your “ standards” ….
Men can be attracted to other women. Problem is she was probably the it girl back in the day and now she is not, and that's what the problem is. Bet she didn't feel like this when she was modeling, FACTS!!
Yea.. I agree with most other commenters here. I normally never disagree with John.. but he handles the first caller completely wrong.
He handles every caller wrong he has blanket generic answers he tries to force every question into the same frameworks.
@@moderngoblinI'm starting to see that. I used to admire him.
@@mariaarroyos2925me too. I think it’s maybe becoming too much
Once my husband started looking at porn, then, in his eyes i became a nothing..then he died and i discovered that men find me beautiful and sexy even in my senior years.
I'm glad that men find you attractive. You deserve that feeling.
I hope I will experience it too, and all the many other women who have been left at the alta, so to spea, while their husband broke their vows and turned to *orn.
I agree my husband is always looking at younger women!!! I left this relationship a long time ago !!! I’m sick of his behavior! I love myself more and look good for me not everybody else!!!❤❤❤
Looking and fantasizing at skimpy Instagram women or p*rnography is lust, sexually coveting someone that is not yours (your spouse). It is succumbing to temptation and a lack of self control. Create healthy boundaries that will help you stay away from those things. Maybe he needs to delete Instagram. Start anew and don't click on anything inappropriate because the algorithm will adjust to show you more of that type of content.
I've learned to appreciate every year I grow older, as there are so many people who don't get to.
And leave every man who can’t appreciate it!!! He’s aging too!
So do I, I love myself as I get older. But I don't think my husband does, so it still affects my self esteem.
WTF?? John is trying to find out what is wrong with her!!! Her idiot husband has wandering eyes and she is the one who has something wrong with her? Girl, there is nothing wrong with you, it is him and him alone. She needs to start researching divorce options and set up her finances for a future without her husband. He is searching for her replacement. Yes he is shopping around and starting to explore fantasies in his mind.
I'm fairly certain he wouldn't be giving this advice to his own daughter. 15,000 views and only 500 likes... Clearly, I'm not the only one who thinks he dropped the ball on this one.
Went through this with my husband recently. I told him cheating is anything that one of us wouldn't do in front of the other. He deleted his apps and promised it wouldn't happen again.
Well Instagram is not cheating women need learn men like looking at different women women are so insecure
@@chris-gx7rsor men can control themselves
@@chris-gx7rsbeating your 🥩 to strangers online is mentally unhinged behavior. Have some self respect. Those women you seek out online would never give you even a minute of their time in real life 😂 it’s kind of pathetic really. So many men bound to their screen and their hand. How embarrassing for you to be defending that. And before you said that you didn’t bring up porn, we both know you will defend pornography with your life. I’m just taking this comment to its logical conclusion.
@@chris-gx7rsboys*** like looking at other women
@@chris-gx7rsWomen are insecure? How about men looking at other women when they're in a committed relationship is pathetic and disgusting. Sounds like you're one of those men, and I'm sure you'll have a long lonely life with that sick attitude.
I’m guilty of the same thing…
Then my wife was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and I only had six years to be with her and now it’s over. just like the song don’t know what you got till it’s gone.
@@sidkid9873 I’m glad you found a footing to help focus on your wife and being a loving partner. You are correct, tomorrow is not promised so when it comes we need to give our partners our best. 🎉🙏🏻❤️
😢 I’m so sorry for your loss.
So you disrespected her before reality slapped you? So shocking.
and now you're no longer attracted to younger women? BS
@@funicon3689 he means his mommy went away.
In same situation. Except my husband admitted to looking for connection with other women. And now that we are “trying” to work things out, I told him I don’t appreciate him liking these girls pics. Especially since I’m trying to trust him again. He fessed up and said he was using the hiding story IG feature on me because he thought he could hide his likes in those types of pics. I told him that’s even worse.
Bro not only awful but also stupid
Dr. D, asking the first caller if she has kids after she said she had kids more than once is wild! Then saying she should have led with that; sir!!!
I try to stay in shape and take good care of myself. I like to look beautiful for by husband and myself. But I'm not competing with young people on social media😂 No one should be put in that position
The comment section is why is stopped dating men long ago.
Old bag
But it is so nice for them to come out of the woodwork and reveal themselves for who they really are. Saves us the extra work of weeding them out.
@@ada5851 yet females file 80% of divorces 😂 u guys are terrible judges of character unlike men 😏
Sounds cliche but not all men are like this. Trust me, these men are below average looking, 45+, divorced or never had a girlfriend and most definitely are just overall unsuccessful in all areas of their lives. They blame women for them being a failure, so they enjoy berating women because it makes them feel good. Good men,strong men, successful men, men who really love and respect women never leave comments like that. It's not you, it's them. Never forget that.
Operative phrase long ago
Maybe she should put a giant poster of a naked man in the hallway. See how he likes it. I believe in matching the energy. Women need to just start thinking like men do. He views you as a convenience. Maybe he should be too.
A giant poster of a naked man is “matching the energy” of a guy looking at pictures on his phone? That sounds equivalent…
@@rollingstoneworks3183yup.
You’re right. She should put up many pictures of different men. Maybe not naked but in sexy poses with tool belts on etc.
@@rollingstoneworks3183 i’m willing to bet that her husband is not just looking at regular photos of young women on Instagram. He is most likely watching porn multiple times a week if not every day.
I love this answer. I really hope she does, that would be hilarious.
Personally John, this first caller deserved better.
John can be so loving and kind and suddenly be like, “IDIOT” and I just get so turned off by that.
His daughters will eventually see his roving eyes. Dads can't completely hide the illegitimate behavior. Then, because it comes out of secrecy, you don't know WHAT the kid is telling themselves about it. That makes it all a huge mess and dysfunction. In addition to what John said, he should have been a lot more severe on the husband. Especially since he has girls. Does the husband want other guys, and older men, looking at his daughters that way?
He probably doesn't care and thinks of himself as the princess of his life and everything exists to serve his ego and give him little thrills
I hoping this message and the reason he is telling her this is because ULTIMATELY - work on herself esteem FIRST it will result in many issues be solved - surrounding herself with people who respect her, ARE trustworthy and then make a personal decision to stay or move on with anyone in her life who is not what she feels is serving her anymore or and set boundaries that will free her from other people’s choices
Exactly, I was thinking the same - how can she work on herself if she lives with someone who doesn't respect her?
First call: I think what John wants to say at the end is: the looking at pictures might not be about beauty at all - might be about something that he associates with being young and beautiful within himself - like easiness of life, feeling strong, having fun and few responsibilities ... could be that he is missing something like that ... and not actually the 'beauty" and perfection.
Might not be as bad as you think.
But yes, can be hurtful - particularily when the caller's interpretation is right (and it is simply about beauty).
I would guess she is missing all the same things as well, but a mature person doesn't turn away from their spouse because they miss being young and carefree. He has children. It is time to put his big boy pants on and grow up
I agree sort of but what you are describing is a form of envy and he is sacrificing his own wife's self worth for his childishness, envy, and lust. And I am sure when she leaves him he will cry victim because he preferred her to suffer the cost of his choices in silence
@@robinirons8140 what I wanted to say is: all this admiration of pictures has nothing to do with the wife. It's not about her being not beautiful or young anymore. It's about him not being young anymore.
So, it's not that bad in a sense that it doesn't say ANYTHIING about her worth or beauty (I think that is why she is hurting so much .... of course it is hurtful behaviour of her husband ... but besides that, she is also feeling judged on her worth and beauty ... and it is not about that ... )
@@wf4983 Yes, I understand the psychology behind it: it's not about her, it's about him. But that doesn't make it any less painful to the wife. She still feels less than, and more than that, it shows his lack of truly caring about how his actions will affect his wife and harm their relationship. Now he is not trustworthy on so many levels. He's destroyed the foundation of any good relationship, which is trust
Loved the segment at the end!
It's really on women to stop placing so much value in the male gaze. It's a currency that's not worth anything. Getting old is bad ass and a privilege many don't have.
Men need to stop focusing on young women and go focus on their families their career and community ! Touching themselves like they are still juveniles is INSANE to try to pacify and make women accept it likes it’s no big deal. They are PERVERTS ! And don’t care !!!!
Everything is a woman’s job to an immoral and mediocre man. Nothing lands on the plate of the “head of house” except mowing the lawn, it seems.
What if you were in a relationship where your partner was habitually doing this behind YOUR back, or even in your presence, and your partner continued to do so even though you spoke to them about it? This lustful behavior speaks volumes and is both disrespectful & unacceptable!!
@@marthareichhold8201 Then I would say it's no longer worth it to stay in that relationship
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Oh John…….speaking to me again. I’m 70 and gotta accept my age myself and love the 10 yr old me 20 yr old me 50 and 70 yr old me.
I don't think john is excusing her husband. I think he's talking to her on the phone so he's trying to help her. This phone call resonated with me because I have the same insecurities. And what it comes down to is that I don't love myself, I wasn't always loved as a kid and I'm my own worst citric. It's about loving and accepting yourself first.
Absolutely! He said at the beginning of the call that he would be saying something completely different if the husband was on the phone. But what he said to her was to help *her*
It's annoying how many people are implying that he's excusing the husband 😅
This is maybe the first time where I thought Delony was wrong in his response. She is correct to see a red flag in her husband looking intentionally at other women.
She hasn’t conflated anything. I’d ask him to go to counseling, and see if he takes steps towards emotional faithfulness.
LADIESSSS. My goodness. This call was for HER. To help her and guide her to becoming more stable within herself and fixing the root issue. He stated a couple times hed like to talk to her husband which would then put him in that hot seat..two separate issues and only one can be addressed during the call
Usually social media always leads to infidelity
With perverted men
Time for her to check out.
Concerning the first caller: you have way outpaced this man in maturity and personal growth. It sounds like you have accepted the fact that , yes, we age, and we move on and grow up and do grown up things.
He is still acting like a school boy who can't control his impulses. I can't believe any woman, regardless of how confident she is, would be ok with her husband ogling young girls on Instagram. Set some firm boundaries with him about what is ok and what isn't ok with you. I doubt he would be too happy if the situation were reversed.
This is why I want to be single. As women we can have eyes for only one why can’t they???
Also this happened to my boyfriend. He had alot of these girls popping up on his feed... I said it's because of his algorithms but he's only interested in F1, science, star wars etc so he thought it was strange.... He started blocking and reporting all this content with these girls and started liking everything he was actually interested in to change the algorithm.... And this content with half naked girls continued popping up even after trying to get rid of it for many months. He got so tired of it so he deleted his instagram. So the algorithm probably saw he was male between 25-30 years old so they are trying to push more of this content to get them hooked... So probably alot of men are being thrown this content without looking for it.
Yea...I have the same interests as your husband. No matter how many car or racing or sports videos I watch...the algorithm always contains at least 40% OF thirst trap content. I wish I could more easily choose what shows up and restrict other content.
@@jordenv5364 it usually means that other followers of the other content are also huge OF/model followers. Try interacting with content that’d have a different audience and the like, it should help
I get that John is trying to empower her and help her heal her own wounds and love herself which is great but please don’t excuse the husband’s behavior! So sick of men disrespecting the femininity and love of their wives because he lusts after young female images . Gross and not acceptable!
I wish Delony would do an overview of the husband’s side of things and looking at woman. I feel like it helps to understand what that behavior is pointing to. By listening to these calls I’ve come to realize how much of a coping mechanism it can be!
Imagine the days before social media and porn. Men would only see pretty young women fully clothed and in passing. Modern society is an absolute train wreck for long term relationships.
This is a healing episode for millennials. We 90s and early 2000s kids. It’s been the best thing to see the world become more inclusive physically and racially in our culture. We all have a place. We all have worth. The focus should be on what our body can do, has done, and is capable of doing when we feed it and love it well. ❤
And yet, you can't buy a whole ***** shirt at Walmart anymore if you're a female. Everything is a crop top. Things aren't that inclusive. Still sexualizing all the young teens.
Inclusion of races...thats not true.
“We’re all going to get older….IF We’re Lucky” ❤❤
I wonder if the first caller asked her husband why he looks at those women? That question wasn’t asked.
He'll just lie, deflect, tell her she's crazy, flip the script. It's probably pointless
It’s just irrelevant. Whatever his issue may be, he’s letting it affect his marriage. When you get diagnosed with diabetes from eating too much sugar you can ask yourself what behaviour led to that, but that won’t make your blood sugar magically drop
Every man says they don't like fake/plastic women, but they follow them, how is that possible? the double morality at its best.
She “got a message at some time that she wasn’t worthy.” Everyday, all the time, in pictures, in the media, from men, from women, from parents, from your spouse, from your friends. And yes, it happens to men too. At least she’s trying to find a way to let it be.
Sometimes I wish that social media didn’t existed!
For the first caller, I think that she explicitly told him she didnt want that and he does it anyway is really telling of his character. He does it knowing she is insecure about it. Her partner is communicating through his actions that he doesn't respect her or find her beautiful enough! She is right to be hurt by this! Especially when its INTENTIONAL!
Its the fact she KNOWS he's doing it. Why is she SEEING it happen? Girl post your own thirst traps and see how easy it is to get men to look! prove a point.
Awesome advice about picking therapists by John 3/4ths of the way through the show.
All of this comes down to: Men should not get married if they aren’t prepared to be monogamous. I never understand why the hell they get married and then proceed to pine for other women.
Maybe she needs to look at pictures of rich men. Admire their wealth and the type of cars they drive. Men who are better looking than her husband.
😂😂😂
i never get tired of these 😂
You just blamed her!!
Please put your listening ears on. 3:45 throughout the whole entire call he’s giving her tools for what she can do in the little control she has. She has no control over her husband. John did not blame her. Listen to the call again.
John called it out. What the husband was doing is wrong and also deep issues on the husbands side. He addressed the caller so well!!
Yeah it is awful and I’d feel horrible if my girl did this. Just letting you know your man does it behind your back :)…. All guys do
I was actually pretty disappointed with the direction he took the call.
I agree 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I loved the conversation with the second caller. It’s nice to hear I’m not the only parent who struggles with this. Maybe it’s a sign we are good parents? That’s what I tell myself anyway.
I've really struggled to find a therapist in my area. Most of them are so busy they won't return your calls. The few that aren't THAT busy are all booked. No, I think therapy is just out of reach for me. If I had gotten a therapist before the pandemic and stuck with that person I would be good now, but nowadays its pretty much impossible to find a therapist who isn't booked solid.
Also if you make a certain amount (like over $45k) you don't qualify for ANY financial help when it comes to getting therapy. So if you are making more than $45k and can't afford a therapist....then RUclips is your therapist.
He always says to women, “somewhere along the line you learned that your worth was tied to your beauty” and asks about their mother etc. Like this isn’t the universal experience of women and perpetuated by society. It’s not the mother’s fault for going on a diet.
Women, if you can't handle this possibility of being with someone who has a lustful eye, because most men do. Then it is better to stay single and not marry. Most men don't see this as wrong behavior and think women partners should just accept it. So if you can't accept it, don't start any relationship. You can't change any man. And most men do not change.
Men shouldn’t get married if they know they will actively lust after other women.
That's basically just you lowering your expectations because you know you'd be disappointed by us all the time.
I promise you, love, there are some of us out there that do not lust after women decades younger than us. I, myself, am almost 40 and once you hit my age it's really hard to tell the difference between a 17 and 23 year old. Hell, NOBODY can tell the difference between a 17 and 18 year old.
If your man is lusting after women half his age, or even barely legal teenagers, it is not your fault for setting realistic expectations. In medieval times, since girls hit their period around 8-13, with their fertility being it's highest after their first menstrual cycle, older men would lust for them. Was this normal back then? Maybe. We're those men still pdfiles? Absolutely.
A lot of points these guys bring up have to do with them being biologically engrained to like the most fertile women, whom are younger. That, by default, makes them attracted to children.
I'm sure you know most men aren't like this, but 66% of girls are SA before 18, and this number is high for a reason. Stop lowering your expectations when it comes to the father of your children, I promise you, we are no longer biologically engrained to lust for children. Only some are, and they're the ones searching things like "barely legal" or "teen" on PH.
If I didn’t know any better, I would think this was me talking. I then beat myself up over and over again because I know I shouldn’t measure my worth based on what someone else is doing. I tell myself I’m pathetic because this isn’t what strong, independent women do. So not only do I have to forgive my husband. I have to try and forgive myself for my own thoughts.
Not healthy luv❤
Her husband does this because he thinks he is 10, when he is really a 4. I'm pretty certain you are the prize in the relationship and he is an insecure, rude, ego maniac.