Reality TV Shows That Really, Actually Existed Part II

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
  • Check out Magellan!! try.magellantv....
    GET AN EPIC BEARD: beardblaze.com
    BECOME A LEGEND (with ease) by joining my Legendary Legends Newsletter: t.co/jedug2vS4...
    This video is #sponsored by MagellanTV.
    Simon's Social Media:
    Twitter: / simonwhistler
    Instagram: / simonwhistler
    Love content? Check out Simon's other RUclips Channels:
    Biographics: / @biographics
    Geographics: / @geographicstravel
    MegaProjects: / @megaprojects9649
    SideProjects: / @sideprojects
    Casual Criminalist: / @thecasualcriminalist
    TopTenz: / toptenznet
    Today I Found Out: / todayifoundout
    Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
    XPLRD: / @simonstestchannel

Комментарии • 1 тыс.

  • @brainblaze6526
    @brainblaze6526  3 года назад +41

    Check out Magellan!! try.magellantv.com/businessblaze

    • @cravenmoordik
      @cravenmoordik 3 года назад +6

      I got something you can plug while you plug a sponsor 😉

    • @AmberLie
      @AmberLie 3 года назад +3

      @@cravenmoordik Oh, Mr. Moordik..... >__

    • @cravenmoordik
      @cravenmoordik 3 года назад +2

      @@AmberLie Lol u like that

    • @wesgraham9588
      @wesgraham9588 3 года назад +3

      You TWO add it again 😘

    • @cravenmoordik
      @cravenmoordik 3 года назад

      @@wesgraham9588 still*

  • @stephjovi
    @stephjovi 3 года назад +453

    Confirmed : Danny escaped, shattered Simon's collarbone, fled to the Philippines but to make a living he still writes for BB

    • @UsernameU222
      @UsernameU222 3 года назад +38

      Honestly, that would fit the BB canon pretty well.

    • @iowafarmboy
      @iowafarmboy 3 года назад +19

      @@2lefThumbs it fits perfectly.
      Now, if only ETA can take advantage of Simon's weakness and break out as well.

    • @iowafarmboy
      @iowafarmboy 3 года назад +13

      @@2lefThumbs hmmmm. Perhaps. I do know he is still out there. Speaking the truth. I can feel it.
      ETA knows all. ETA is life.

    • @odog1999
      @odog1999 3 года назад +10

      @@2lefThumbs ETA is the one who drove Danny to the pubs in the Phillipines

    • @cuttwice3905
      @cuttwice3905 3 года назад +2

      Did Sam escape, too?

  • @douglasmcpherson7048
    @douglasmcpherson7048 3 года назад +210

    Simon can do no wrong. Even when he off roads it’s hysterical. Yet on his other channels, he’s like a college professor. Very smart and informative but dry. He must be incredibly talented to pull off the different personalities and make them believable.

    • @brandonjc13
      @brandonjc13 3 года назад +8

      Not sure he'll be doing much off-roading anytime soon though

    • @The_joey_hebert
      @The_joey_hebert 3 года назад +17

      That’s how I explained it to my wife I showed her a couple videos from today I found out said see he’s like a professor at some university then a couple of business blaze and then said now it’s like your getting high or drinking with the professor

    • @The_joey_hebert
      @The_joey_hebert 3 года назад +3

      And I love the blaze so keep it up fact boy

    • @helenbunnehmummeh5154
      @helenbunnehmummeh5154 3 года назад +2

      Or he’s some kind of psycho….

    • @perrydowd9285
      @perrydowd9285 3 года назад +4

      He's wrong about Yoko Ono. She's wonderful.
      I'll see myself out.

  • @pandabearnapalm
    @pandabearnapalm 3 года назад +185

    They had a KFC ad right at the "meanwhile in Simon's throat" and I thought it was part of the bit and watched the entire ad..... you're welcome for that watch time

    • @caiz1340
      @caiz1340 3 года назад +2

      Yeah I had a Netflix ad just after he mentioned it in the magellan ad. It was great timing.

    • @benracer
      @benracer 3 года назад +8

      KFC needs to sponsor him

    • @aliejoe5622
      @aliejoe5622 3 года назад +4

      Bruh his videos are so great it literally entices you into the add.

    • @alexbarclay6597
      @alexbarclay6597 3 года назад +1

      Ho lee sheet

    • @kathybell616
      @kathybell616 3 года назад +3

      I had that happen with one of his shark tank vids....the ad was so dumb I just thought Sam added it until I noticed the skip button lol

  • @Karagoth444
    @Karagoth444 3 года назад +69

    Sam, you absolutely horrible man for putting in the chimera scenes from FMA, and making me and others re-live the horror of such a tragic story. Also, I tip my hat, never change, keep up the good work.

  • @Tom-ef1mz
    @Tom-ef1mz 3 года назад +279

    Simon talking about his free medical services made me wanna punch a wall... but i can't afford the broken hand.

    • @bartfoster1311
      @bartfoster1311 3 года назад +2

      Beware of mountain bikes!

    • @katies7158
      @katies7158 3 года назад +2

      I hear you, Tom Cat

    • @flowertrue
      @flowertrue 3 года назад +8

      It made me gnash my teeth... The few I have left

    • @clueless4085
      @clueless4085 3 года назад +20

      * sad America noises *

    • @evillttlimp
      @evillttlimp 3 года назад +9

      I had to have my wisdom teeth removed recently because they were aggravating my TMJ. My dental insurance didn't want to cover it so they sent it to general. I had to pay a grand because my basic health insurance just decided they don't cover the specific anesthetic drugs dentists use. MURICAH

  • @MysTaeryColorful
    @MysTaeryColorful 3 года назад +107

    Hi Simon, I'm a transgender woman and longtime subscriber to many of your channels. I appreciate the way you handled the subject of the transgender dating show. The fact that it existed and was presented the way it was is just nasty, but your response to it, pointing out that they should've included trans people in its development and how they put Miriam on display as a punchline. I don't think there's anything wrong with being uncomfortable that the contestants were kept in the dark about her body the whole time. Not everyone is attracted to pre or non-op trans bodies, but the important thing is to understand that just because you're not attracted to penises doesn't make her less of a woman. The show perpetuated the idea that trans people are deceitful or have to hide part of themselves to "fool" people into loving them.
    I want to give you props for making an effort to stay respectful while still being your usual funny, irreverent self. With as much as you joke about being cancelled, it's clear you genuinely don't want to hurt anyone, and it's not just about looking good for the socials.

    • @PorkOMonTCG41
      @PorkOMonTCG41 Год назад +3

      Well said. Simon is a genuine good person no matter what he thinks. As someone who is part of the community, I find it sad that he thinks he may hurt our feelings. He always comes off completely as a supporter of LGBTQ and always has. Quite rare in straight males and he should be commended

  • @andreamagni8017
    @andreamagni8017 3 года назад +81

    In Italy we had a guy that used his big brother celebrity moment to became a consultant to, among other things, a small political party.
    A few years later he was working for the sitting prime minister, being paid MORE than him, and being involved in policy making while still being mostly known as a reality tv barely famous dude.
    If you ever make a video about "I didn't see that coming" moments and people, that's an example Danny can look into.

    • @rekadd
      @rekadd 3 года назад +1

      i support that video concept

    • @SafetySpooon
      @SafetySpooon 3 года назад +5

      In the US, we can beat that. Thank G-d we fixed it this past November!

    • @Kstang09
      @Kstang09 3 года назад +3

      @Brandon Quist it's the correct word, though.

    • @dracoargentum9783
      @dracoargentum9783 3 года назад +2

      @Brandon Quist Sigh, too bad we can't say we literally Fixed him...

    • @justinmartin4662
      @justinmartin4662 3 года назад

      Didn’t go well? If your worried about tabloid news bullshit maybe. Trump is a pos but he was a far better president than Obama and Biden so far. The economy thrived under him, under Biden the only real change is that guns stores and ammo will take another year or so to recover from everyone buying up all they could get due to the fact Biden has no problem declaring his want to ignore our rights.

  • @Pile_of_carbon
    @Pile_of_carbon 3 года назад +54

    The bible describes Eden as extremely lush and generally super comfy.
    British production company looks at a storm-blasted soggy heath in a remote corner of Scotland: "Yeah, this looks just like the stories."
    A better title would've been "Ass End of Nowhere"

    • @clueless4085
      @clueless4085 3 года назад +2

      fucking LOL

    • @--enyo--
      @--enyo-- 3 года назад +1

      Maybe they just hadn’t been anywhere else?

  • @Jimmydreadful
    @Jimmydreadful 3 года назад +217

    Simon, that was hands down the worst ad read i've ever seen. brilliant.

    • @elle_rose_xx
      @elle_rose_xx 3 года назад +6

      Simon making a recommendation: Idk I don’t get it I saw it on Twitter didn’t watch it

    • @ltbeefy9054
      @ltbeefy9054 3 года назад +21

      They are so bad they are the best. I tend to watch 90% of his ad reads here. Other channels I skip the ad read 90% of the time.
      Even tried magic spoon and backblaze

    • @MegaDman16
      @MegaDman16 3 года назад +5

      Smash that dislike button.

    • @snorlax6691
      @snorlax6691 3 года назад +1

      Excellent username!

    • @aredjayc2858
      @aredjayc2858 3 года назад

      Reminds me of "my favorite game, would not recommend"

  • @TheJtyork420
    @TheJtyork420 3 года назад +59

    Netflix was founded by people who hated late fees. In the 90s if u didn't bring a video back in time to blockbuster u were charged late fees for everyday it was past due. Netflix completely stopped all of this by starting a mail based DVD subscription service.

    • @legendofnone3037
      @legendofnone3037 3 года назад +6

      Ahhhhh the good old days. I'm 21, but still remember stopping by the ol' block buster as a kid and getting movies/games. Then it went under, then we got netflix, back when they still sent DVDs and didn't really have the online streaming service they have now. Still have a netflix magazine coupon circa 2000-2004 that I found when I was about 10
      Also, netflix allegedly offered to handle Blockbuster online part of the business and blockbuster said no. Sears catalog, anyone?

    • @TheJtyork420
      @TheJtyork420 3 года назад +3

      @@legendofnone3037 Oh nigga don't bring up the Wish Book. I looked forward to that coming in the mail every yr and u and ur friends would all circle the stuff u wanted. Good times kids today will never understand

    • @legendofnone3037
      @legendofnone3037 3 года назад +2

      @Watzetzface Danny... is that you?
      I felt like I was reading a BB script
      But agreed. They died because they didn't want to integrate into the modern business system. Just like Sears and their damned catalog.

    • @phredphlintstone6455
      @phredphlintstone6455 3 года назад +1

      @@legendofnone3037 the truly funny part is that the Sears catalog was, originally, ahead of the curve

  • @wisersamson9000
    @wisersamson9000 3 года назад +108

    "Yes Magellan, we put your shout out at the beginning just like you like, it's right after the picture of Pikachu with the dark shadow of a massive human mushroom over it, just like you like it!"

    • @theenzoferrari458
      @theenzoferrari458 3 года назад +1

      Hey that human mushroom is sensitive. And women don't help it out. Lmao.

    • @bryandunbar6446
      @bryandunbar6446 3 года назад

      It's called a bell end. Simon told me.

  • @insilencea4599
    @insilencea4599 3 года назад +149

    "But I identify as a male cat! A tom!"
    2 seconds later...
    "The guy who won was called Tom."

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  3 года назад +31

      There's no such thing as a coincidence.

  • @Gersti96
    @Gersti96 3 года назад +52

    “Hey Magellan get on casual criminalist”
    “Simon, we have been on it for quite some time”

    • @DayZeroChannel
      @DayZeroChannel 3 года назад +2

      "Hey Magellan get on casual criminalist"
      "We aren't Netflix, simon."

  • @dracoargentum9783
    @dracoargentum9783 3 года назад +22

    I love that Simon just blithely mixes up "Fifth element" with "the 6th Day". I am shocked and surprised that he hasn't made a "first time reactor" channel, then we can be 'finally! now he will get the references!'

    • @starkravingralph
      @starkravingralph 3 года назад +1

      I was going to make a comment, I swear it was Bruce Willis in the 5th Element with the cigs but he had a real cat (I never heard of the 6th day) so I wasn't sure if I was confused or if Simon was lol thanks for clearing that up!!!

    • @dracoargentum9783
      @dracoargentum9783 3 года назад +1

      @@starkravingralph After I typed this I realized that since I have not seen 6th Day either, there MIGHT be cigarettes like in Fifth Element too.

    • @starkravingralph
      @starkravingralph 3 года назад +1

      @@dracoargentum9783 No MIGHT, Those cigs are definitely in the Fifth Element lol ( I'm a smoker and love that movie, I noticed that immediately) 😆

    • @dracoargentum9783
      @dracoargentum9783 3 года назад +1

      @@starkravingralph Oh, I also KNOW that they are from Fifth Element, the might was for they might ALSO have been in 6th Day, too. I guess I’ll need to watch that movie and find out.

    • @starkravingralph
      @starkravingralph 3 года назад +1

      @@dracoargentum9783 LOL!! So maybe just Simon is confused but the robotic pet has me stumped. Maybe that's in the movie neither of us has seen LMAO can you watch it and lmk how it is? Haha and now I just need to know if those cigs are in that movie too. Wtf, future. Stop messing with my smokes!

  • @maryalicefrazier2817
    @maryalicefrazier2817 3 года назад +29

    That clavicle was broken by Danny trying to escape for non moldy bread and clean drinking water. Needless to say Danny is still locked up in the basement.

    • @dracoargentum9783
      @dracoargentum9783 3 года назад +2

      Because Simon is now cyborg, no mere meat sack can stand up to that.

  • @p.l.g3190
    @p.l.g3190 3 года назад +44

    "The past was the worst" ... and so is the present, at least when it comes to reality TV.

    • @justsomeguy5628
      @justsomeguy5628 3 года назад +1

      In the 1600s, reality tv broadcasting was so shit that I couldn't even get the tv to show them.

  • @marcustrelle4898
    @marcustrelle4898 3 года назад +38

    In Futurama Professor Farnsworth got acquitted of a crime because his son who is his clone was let off on compassionate grounds and the defence brought up the fact that they had to let Farnsworth off too since they were genetically the same person and it is double jeopardy.

    • @jayhom5385
      @jayhom5385 3 года назад +16

      As Bureaucrat #1 would say, "You are techinically correct; which is the best kind of correct."

    • @damenwhelan3236
      @damenwhelan3236 2 месяца назад

      Not just genetically identical but on the basis of being a clone and a clone is seen as the same entity.

  • @user-friendly-clouds
    @user-friendly-clouds 3 года назад +26

    There was a talk show named The Jenny Jones Show in the 90's. A guest was tricked into thinking he would be going on a blind date with a woman. The person turned out to be a man. On camera, you could see the guest was uncomfortable but he played along and went on a "date" with the other man. He killed the man. He blamed Jenny Jones and her staff for tricking him.

    • @audreytroupe208
      @audreytroupe208 3 года назад +13

      i remember this episode! but the man wasn't tricked into thinking he was going on a date with a woman they told him someone he knew had feelings for him and wanted to confess on the show. they never clarified the gender and it ended up being a gay male friend of his. that was crazy

    • @user-friendly-clouds
      @user-friendly-clouds 3 года назад +2

      @@audreytroupe208 you are absolutely right! I remembered it wrong. Was the guy a friend of his or his brother or something like that?

  • @terryenby2304
    @terryenby2304 3 года назад +19

    I think puppies and children are both incredibly hard work. The major difference I have found is I didn’t pick chilled out babies, they arrived as they are! But our puppy is super chilled and loves lazing around cuddling me all day.
    Also, puppies grow up much quicker!
    In a year or two, you have an adult who has fully trained to go outside, do several useful jobs, tricks and bark if someone tried to break in.
    My kids on the other hand were just starting to manage *some* bodily functions by 2-4, and the most useful thing they can do is pretend to wipe their own face with a baby wipe that they mostly just suck the alcohol out of…
    Don’t get me wrong, the dog eats babywipes too, but she is easier to hide them from. Frankly a coffee table is taller than her.

    • @deaniej2766
      @deaniej2766 2 года назад +3

      Puppies also don't get drunk and crash your car or take drugs and rob someone for drug money. It is also possible to control their dating and whether or not they have babies.

    • @terryenby2304
      @terryenby2304 2 года назад

      @@deaniej2766 true, but you do have to care for dogs their entire lives. Children grow up and you get to be friends with an amazing adult one day.

  • @mtvdvm4940
    @mtvdvm4940 3 года назад +27

    When my brother & I were about 12 & 10 we saw a spy movie where a CIA agent was waterboarded. We were convinced it wasn’t that bad & and since we were curious and my folks had left us alone on the farm we went outside to the pool with a towel and a 5 gallon bucket. We water boarded one another as best as we could and it was FUCKING terrifying. We decided not to tell our folks until we were well into our 20s.

    • @chaosreaver3597
      @chaosreaver3597 3 года назад +1

      Holy [expletive]. Waterboarding is one of the worst tortures in the history of man. A top ranking member of Al-Qaeda was taken in to a room and when he saw the equipment, he immediately told the integrator he would tell anything he wanted to know.
      The reason it so popular is that it relatively low risk, at least physically, and scares the hell out of people who know about it.
      But it messes people up psychological, I remember a news article about a guy, a farmer who had been mis-identified as a Taliban fighter. He was black-bagged in the middle of the night and spent two months being tortured and questioned with lot of waterboarding.
      It broke him. He spends most of his days, after being released when the U.S. found the actual guy they were looking for, staring out of a window and screaming when he has flashbacks.
      Worst part was, the U.S. didn't pay any kind of compensation or offered any medical help for the poor guy after completely tearing him down.

    • @mtvdvm4940
      @mtvdvm4940 3 года назад +2

      @@chaosreaver3597 yeah never said it was my brightest moment.

    • @chaosreaver3597
      @chaosreaver3597 3 года назад +2

      @@mtvdvm4940 No [expletive], I hope you and your brother came out the other side okay.
      Besides, you were young and probably thought because the actor endured it, you could. It's not like movies give a detailed description of what it actually feels like.
      Reality and entertainment often mismatch, my uncle taught me how to fire a gun, but he wasn't impressed by me hitting a bullseye on a range, so he set up a course on his farm. It was doable in 3 minutes if you just ran.
      But, you had to hit 30 targets with kill shots or you had to do it again and be done in 5 minutes, it took me 3 months to get his approval (he was military so I was supposed to run to my mommy the first time I failed, I must of cost him a fortune in ammo, worth it. He doesn't think much of the family who haven't served in the military. I'm an exception because he thinks I could actually handle a firefight).

  • @amandajones661
    @amandajones661 3 года назад +46

    Business Blaze: Just a cover for Danny to film his biography. 😅

    • @jonrolfson1686
      @jonrolfson1686 3 года назад +1

      Or, at least the autobiography that he really wanted to have realized at that particular moment.

    • @elle_rose_xx
      @elle_rose_xx 3 года назад +1

      Honestly we need Danny’s autobiography his life sounds WILD

    • @amandajones661
      @amandajones661 3 года назад

      @@elle_rose_xx Agreed!

    • @griffensolomon554
      @griffensolomon554 3 года назад

      then perhaps the fort bragg murders lol

    • @amandajones661
      @amandajones661 3 года назад

      @@griffensolomon554 Great idea - or the Ft Hood murders. Or the Ft Campbell murders. Geez. I'm glad I retired alive.

  • @PahzWatchesYouTube
    @PahzWatchesYouTube 3 года назад +22

    Welcome to the Cyborg Army, Simon. I was only a few years older than you when I got my first titanium allow knee joint (age 39). I now have two titanium alloy knees. Your new Cyborg mission guidelines will automatically start downloading soon.

    • @jennazump7334
      @jennazump7334 3 года назад +3

      My man has plate in neck, two knees done, rod in ankle & think last was hip replacement... he just turned 50 🙄🤣 idk how you guys go through it ouch. But good recovery on all of you 😄

    • @PahzWatchesYouTube
      @PahzWatchesYouTube 3 года назад +5

      @@jennazump7334 I was a marathon cyclist as a teenager. That with a family history of arthritis problems is what did me in on my knees. Two months before my second knee replacement (I was 46), I had the carpal tunnel surgery on both hands.
      The cyborg army is getting younger, possibly because our cyborg overlords realized we can't take over the world with the elderly and lazy-former-marathon-cyclists. ;)

    • @janedunlap6879
      @janedunlap6879 3 года назад +2

      I had tibial tubercle transfers in both knees (moving where the ligament connects) at age 25. Have screws in each of those, and plates and screws in my arm from breaking it. Almost had a weird implant thing in my neck, but it wasn't approved for use in the location I needed it (at the top of my spine). I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which is a genetic connective tissue disorder, that in my case allows joints to dislocate easily. I've basically had arthritis in the majority of my joints since I was a teen. I've been putting off some more procedures the past few years, especially since last year, so will definitely have more hardware at some point!

    • @PahzWatchesYouTube
      @PahzWatchesYouTube 3 года назад +2

      @@janedunlap6879 I had a relative that had a super-mild version of it and it was hell for her, I can't imagine what it is like for you.
      We won't be happy till we're all clanking around like the Tinman without his oilcan.

    • @NDRogueElf
      @NDRogueElf 3 года назад +2

      My man was military. So L4-S1 spinal fusion, which failed resulting in a spinal cord stimulator. So he has actual electricity running into his spine controlled by circuitry. THAT’s cyborg.
      Oh, and all his teeth were removed so he has dental implants, no natural teeth left.

  • @ravnosdan9126
    @ravnosdan9126 3 года назад +16

    I love how you could see the moment Simon's sanity snapped just a little when describing Naked Attraction

  • @b.r.52
    @b.r.52 3 года назад +10

    29:38 I really didn't expect a Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood reference but can we now declare Sam is a cultured fellow.

  • @AlexHernandez-ye7mu
    @AlexHernandez-ye7mu 3 года назад +42

    Keep em coming Simon, I need more Blaze for my shifts 👍🏽

  • @MF-R
    @MF-R 3 года назад +131

    On the note of your Miriam conundrum. No you're not bad, it's perfectly fine to have your own boundaries and not want them violated. Just as it's fine for someone to have their own boundaries - the point of acceptance is respecting people's individual choices and not forcing yours upon them. Straight, Gay, Nothing, Everything, Cat or Airplane; you do you and be nice to others, that's all it takes.

    • @Dannie-My0wnReality
      @Dannie-My0wnReality 3 года назад +13

      That was beautifully summed up 👏🏽🖤🖤🖤

    • @anothisflame8266
      @anothisflame8266 3 года назад +4

      This. So much this. Thank you.

    • @s4bombshell
      @s4bombshell 3 года назад +13

      Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. That’s all.

    • @teh0wnz0r76
      @teh0wnz0r76 3 года назад +2

      tru for some, not so tru for all

  • @BerikoT
    @BerikoT 3 года назад +11

    "It's all worth it, it's really lovely" - as he stares to the ground in agonizing pain 😂

  • @wesgraham9588
    @wesgraham9588 3 года назад +16

    It’s nice to see you move around so good in such a short time

  • @lekiscool
    @lekiscool 3 года назад +127

    To be fair, I think anyone would find that dating show weird. I wouldn’t feel weird about her being transgender but the fact that it was supposed to be some punch line and I participated in it.

    • @TitularHeroine
      @TitularHeroine 3 года назад +24

      Yeah, that is really the dehumanizing part.

    • @bluepvp900
      @bluepvp900 3 года назад +9

      Like all the other guys cracking up behind Tom?

    • @bazo0ka22
      @bazo0ka22 3 года назад +15

      Like Ace Ventura Pet Detective, where the catch is ‘the ex football player is now a woman’. Watched it as a kid and thought it was another funny movie, as an adult in the 2020’s -- horrified that was the punchline and it was such a big movie of its time.

    • @kappega
      @kappega 3 года назад +12

      Im more shocked by Simon's attitude here, cos its not like "she's a man bc he wants to be a women lmao"
      Wtf, she had a condition and she treated it, not changed for shits and giggles

    • @TitularHeroine
      @TitularHeroine 3 года назад +2

      @@kappega This. Thank you.

  • @wendya989
    @wendya989 3 года назад +32

    Simon "I'm an equal opportunity serial believer."

  • @Battle_Beard
    @Battle_Beard 3 года назад +58

    “…and then I left the hospital and got a bill for absolutely *nothing* because I live in a country that doesn’t hate the poor.”
    That one stung, Fact Boi. 🇺🇸😢🇺🇸

    • @alreed2434
      @alreed2434 3 года назад +4

      Instead of a $500 usd bill to be told "you want an asprin" because they don't know what's wrong and don't want to do anything apparently...

    • @EnyalienMini
      @EnyalienMini 3 года назад +1

      Truth, though. Sigh.

  • @Deimnos
    @Deimnos 3 года назад +8

    Conservative radio talk show host Erich "Mancow" Muller decided to try waterboarding Friday to prove it is not torture. Problem: After being waterboarded for about six seconds, he declared the technique "absolute torture."

    • @ryandowney8743
      @ryandowney8743 3 года назад +1

      Apparently he doesn't listen to his own show. After doing that for about 6 seconds he would also declare that to be absolute torture.

    • @AnonEyeMouse
      @AnonEyeMouse 3 года назад

      People don't realise that being waterboarded isn't the same as being underwater. You are tilted slightly upside down. The water goes up your nose, often under force. The rag over your face is pushed down by the water flow and seals around your mouth and nose so even trying to breathe is impossible as the blockage over your face prevents it. In reality the water is poured at a steady pace but feels like a torrent. Panic rises quickly as all your senses of self-preservation are triggered at once. Most volunteers tap out between 2 and 10 seconds in. Usually, an actual subject is exposed for between one or two minutes depending on their state of health.
      I've experienced drowning, and that was terrible. I managed to half think, half panic my way out of the water, but it was me vs a dispassionate nature. My life was in my own hands and that means that, as terrible as the experience was, I can draw some positive sense of self from it. I was given waterboard training as part of my work. Even though I trusted the instructor, knew I was safe and could tap out via a buzzer on my finger (my arms were tied down), I have never felt so close to death. The feeling of someone else being in complete control of your continued living as they torture you is a degree of hopeless, helpless despair I hope no one ever experiences. I tapped out after a minute. In reality it was six seconds. I refused to believe that until I watched the tape.
      Now remember that some detainees in Guantanamo Bay and Abu Graib were waterboarded for hours, sometimes daily.

  • @midnitetoker420
    @midnitetoker420 3 года назад +50

    "I don't think anyone was thinking, 'I'd give my children away...' "
    Well, we weren't before...

    • @anarchyantz1564
      @anarchyantz1564 3 года назад +12

      This is completely true. Simon would never GIVE them away. He is a capitalist at heart so selling is the more reasonable option for him,

    • @sarahrosen4985
      @sarahrosen4985 3 года назад +4

      @@anarchyantz1564 nailed it!

  • @Count_Smackula
    @Count_Smackula 3 года назад +31

    pork scratchings = pork rinds, cracklings, chicharrones. America, we has it.

    • @runed0s86
      @runed0s86 3 года назад +1

      We have an all-in-one pork product called spam

    • @phredphlintstone6455
      @phredphlintstone6455 3 года назад

      Spam is largely meat from the head.....head meat

    • @wingerding
      @wingerding 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@phredphlintstone6455 don't forget all the anuses...

    • @phredphlintstone6455
      @phredphlintstone6455 9 месяцев назад

      @@wingerding that's for hotdogs. That and lips.

  • @essenlame
    @essenlame 3 года назад +3

    Thank you for doing these vids. Im having a bit of a rough time rn, and these always cheer me up. Simon: The Legend.

  • @michealball5560
    @michealball5560 3 года назад +5

    A blaze a day keeps the boredom away

  • @paulherman5822
    @paulherman5822 3 года назад +10

    Simon covered that clones would actually be different from the original. Same DNA and such, different, still. This still doesn't cover his involvement in a secret UK experiment involving starfish DNA (which retains the memories of the original), to create his Simon Whistler Army of replicants as part of his goal of taking over all media.

  • @drkleo001
    @drkleo001 3 года назад +8

    Sam is on fire with these memes and clips!

  • @stephjovi
    @stephjovi 3 года назад +4

    Hurray more Blaze ❤️. Now I gotta remember to finish the other Simon video I was watching when I got the notification. I had to stop gotta watch the Blaze first

  • @BlaineEvans
    @BlaineEvans 3 года назад +1

    RUclips actually interrupted Simon trying and failing to remember the name of Hulu during his ad read with an ad for Hulu when I watched this video. Love it.

  • @kirkw1740
    @kirkw1740 3 года назад +23

    That's not bad at all, it's a matter of are you actually given the ability to consent without all the information being openly presented in a truthful manner. If you vote for a politician based on what they tell you, then after getting what they want, they completely reverse their stance, are you not still deceived and taken advantage of?

  • @jeffreydavis9757
    @jeffreydavis9757 3 года назад +2

    I have a suggestion for a future BB episode that SIMON WILL LOVE!
    "CEOs and heads of state who chose to rely on astrology/voodoo/fortune cookies/etc."
    (For example, the President of Haiti in 1963 claimed he had caused the assassination of JFK using the power of voodoo! (Allegedly.))

  • @maradjade1848
    @maradjade1848 3 года назад +134

    Simon as a transgender woman I think your options are perfectly valid and you handled it very well and didn't come off as being offensive at all. Wishing you the best😊

    • @kzyrichm
      @kzyrichm 2 года назад +9

      I'm a straight white male, so my opinion is nearly pointless in this case. but i'm very glad to know i'm in lock-step with a person who's actually affected by this issue.

    • @survivalofthefunkiest
      @survivalofthefunkiest 2 года назад

      Legendary name

    • @theflyingdutchguy9870
      @theflyingdutchguy9870 2 года назад +2

      @@survivalofthefunkiest how about yours. kinda the evolution of birds of paradise. survival of the funkiest😂

    • @survivalofthefunkiest
      @survivalofthefunkiest 2 года назад

      @@theflyingdutchguy9870 its something Link said in an episode of Good Mythical Morning. No idea which episode

    • @theotherzaphriel488
      @theotherzaphriel488 Год назад

      ​@@kzyrichm I mean the issue impacted a straight white male in this case, so I'm not sure what you mean.

  • @ignitionfrn2223
    @ignitionfrn2223 3 года назад +3

    6:35 - Mid roll ads
    9:00 - Chapter 1 - There is something about miriam
    16:10 - Chapter 2 - Eden
    22:45 - Chapter 3 - I cloned my pet
    30:50 - Chapter 4 - Shattered

  • @djdrack4681
    @djdrack4681 3 года назад +4

    Useless Trivia: Hypnagogic and hypnopompic: hallucinations when you're falling asleep/waking up respectively. It happens when you go through partial states of consciousness and not all the brain is running at full speed basically.
    also: hip-na-gog-ia is how you pronounce it. A testament to too many vowels.

  • @Dannie-My0wnReality
    @Dannie-My0wnReality 3 года назад +2

    OMG ... Naked attraction is playing on the tv in the background 😂🤣🤣🤣 ... they’re starting a new show apparently, it’s basically Naked Attraction but in a hotel... feels like the producers just asked “how can we make this any more weird and maybe a little sleazy?... I’ve got it- let’s put the naked strangers all together in a hotel. That should be a right laugh” 😂🤣.
    My American gf/fiancée watched it when she first moved over here with me, a couple years ago and she was in absolute shock that the genitals weren’t censored 😂🤣 she almost had an aneurysm. Great British TV folks 😂😭🇬🇧
    Holy Shit that “bingo 2” comment got me. It’s like 1:40am and I laughed so hard I woke up my fiancée and our daughter 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 I don’t even regret it 🤣😭🤣😭🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @cashorn2005
    @cashorn2005 3 года назад +5

    In America we have Pork Rinds & Crackling, British have Pork Scratching, and when I looked up what the difference was:
    Pork rind is the lightest of these three snacks and is made in a similar way to pork crackling. Rind is cooked the second time at a much higher temperature, which "shocks" the pork scratching and inflates it even more, turning the crunch into a meaty quaver-like crisp.

    • @Fetidaf
      @Fetidaf 3 года назад +1

      We have scratching in the US too though it’s not as popular.
      They’re very hard and kind of tough, you’re not missing much

    • @themoviedealers
      @themoviedealers 3 года назад

      @@Fetidaf Cracklings are better than rinds, especially with salsa.

  • @l.generallager6356
    @l.generallager6356 3 года назад +3

    Video editor: how many swastikas do you want in your Magellan screenshot?
    Simon: yes

  • @stephjovi
    @stephjovi 3 года назад +13

    With Channel 11 and 12 coming up will we all cancel Netflix because who has time for anything but Simon channels?

  • @brainblaze6526
    @brainblaze6526  3 года назад +2

    Lol, how are none of the top comments about the wrong thumbnail?! :D... Which I can't fix until i get to the office today.

    • @silk1435
      @silk1435 3 года назад

      It works well for the blaze

  • @Aboz
    @Aboz 3 года назад +29

    An American rancher cloned his beloved ang gentle Bhrama bull, and the resultant demon spawn gored him. I can't link here, but Google Second Chance Cloned Bull for the public radio story.

  • @TearDownGenesis
    @TearDownGenesis 3 года назад +2

    British for Americans:
    French Fries: Chips
    Potato Chips: Crisps
    Cookies: Biscuits
    Biscuits: does not compute.

  • @adrianwarner8686
    @adrianwarner8686 3 года назад +4

    I smashed my femur back in January, 5 hour operation to put a Titanium rod in and bolt it together. 48 hours later they sent me home, with a big bottle of morphine....I then binge watched Blaze.....February was wild.

  • @eliscanfield3913
    @eliscanfield3913 3 года назад +1

    Handel reference! I gave my musical husband a shirt "Can you Handel it" several years ago when his chorale were doing one of H's oratorios. It made several people giggle. I dared him to wear it under his suit for the concert, but he didn't take me up on it.

  • @the-chillian
    @the-chillian 3 года назад +3

    Simon has confirmed he would not give his children away, but carefully left open the possibility of selling them.

  • @Mr-G131
    @Mr-G131 3 года назад

    This is the ONLY channel i watch the ad reads on. the are so seamless and top notch.

  • @emdoubleyew3788
    @emdoubleyew3788 3 года назад +10

    Points for Magellan for being accepting of Simon’s severe ADHD

  • @TheBinarygenius
    @TheBinarygenius 3 года назад

    "That's a bummer" is the most unintended pun ever spoken, I love it Simon

  • @just_mark5151
    @just_mark5151 3 года назад +7

    I remember when we lost our 1st dog and my parents got a new dog, my siblings where crying looking for our old dog so, my parents told them that our old dog evolved into the new one.

    • @pajamaman2989
      @pajamaman2989 3 года назад +2

      Laughing out loud

    • @slcpunk2740
      @slcpunk2740 3 года назад +1

      That would have been hilarious to see them trying to explain its evolution if the first dog was a huge great dane or saint bernard etc and the next was a tiny chihuahua.

    • @snorlax6691
      @snorlax6691 3 года назад

      When I read this comment, the Pokémon evolution tune started in my head, lol.

  • @neonclear8500
    @neonclear8500 3 года назад +2

    At this point, I think we need a full Biographic just to fully grasp Danny's life history

  • @andrew24601
    @andrew24601 3 года назад +37

    “I have to say I didn’t realise she still had a penis”
    Gender reassignment surgery (is that what it’s called now?? I don’t even know and I’m actually trans) isn’t the end-all be-all for a lot of trans people. It’s expensive, invasive, and physically taxing. Many trans people only go for hormones or partial surgeries instead of the full physical transition! Some go for none at all!
    I’m not yelling at you, just giving you information I’m not sure you had :)

    • @sarahrosen4985
      @sarahrosen4985 3 года назад +6

      Yes. Straight and identify as my birth sex so I don’t have this quandary but after a surgery 20 years ago I lost all feeling in a not small area of my body. If they can’t maintain sensations in routine surgeries, no way I would trust them with an area I very VERY much want to retain 100% feeling in!

    • @sarahrosen4985
      @sarahrosen4985 3 года назад +12

      @Wayne Smith yes, it hurt me when she said she wasn't a woman. She is. She just has some bits she didn't choose that mess up the 'classic' esthetic a bit.

    • @starkravingralph
      @starkravingralph 3 года назад +4

      The fact that she had a penis and was presented to straight males is unacceptable. People can chose who to love but starting a relationship based on a LIE, is not the brightest nor safest thing to do, to anyone.

    • @TitularHeroine
      @TitularHeroine 3 года назад +1

      Gender Correction Surgery is what we're going with. The newer term, in my opinion, is much more accurate. I think we were going with "reassignment" because of such terms as "assigned male at birth".

    • @TitularHeroine
      @TitularHeroine 3 года назад +1

      @Wayne Smith I agree. And to address Simon's question "Is that bad?" that he'd be uncomfortable -- I feel ya, blaze boi! That part really comes down to being sexually attracted (or not) to *any* type of physical trait, and lots of guys just aren't into dick. Or fitness models, or green eyes, or a larger waistline, a hair color, or wtf ever. It is kinda shitty but relatable.
      Probably the largest part of that discomfort comes from society in the birthing pains of this particular form of acceptance. When tolerance becomes more collectively internalized, that won't be so acute. You're good, Simon, imo. (@ Wayne Smith -- sorry for hijacking that with my rambling)

  • @jordikostiuk8471
    @jordikostiuk8471 3 года назад +1

    Brave new world is one of the greatest books of all time.
    I was stoked when the show came out cause im addicted to literally anything set in that universe

  • @pokegmystery2954
    @pokegmystery2954 3 года назад +8

    The bionic butt joke took me by surprise and I couldn’t stop laughing at it for a bit

  • @michaelalward5318
    @michaelalward5318 3 года назад +2

    We need more Blaze!
    4 times a week!
    Please Simon?!

  • @nickjeffery536
    @nickjeffery536 3 года назад +5

    You missed the perfect joke, should have said that Poppy was a "bona-Fido" member of the family...

  • @lebby1688
    @lebby1688 2 года назад +2

    I could totally win the sleep one. Though I'm sure insomniacs are disqualified. The longest I was awake for was close to 7 days back in college. I wasn't even trying to stay awake either. On day 4 I went to the ER because as I was laying in bed I started to think seriously about going into the kitchen, grabbing a chef knife, and stabbing myself in the stomach. My thought process was that I would need surgery so they would have to knock me out. In the ER they just prescribed me ambien. That night I discovered something called a paradoxical reaction and it's probably the closest thing to meth that I can think of. I'm not sure I've ever had more energy in my life. My roommate thought it was hilarious. When I decided to go out for a run she had to remind me to put shoes on. I then half ran and half danced around the town I lived in. But that fun couldn't last forever. It ended with me trapped in our school's parking garage hallucinating about man in the shadows threatening to kill me with his snake.

  • @catheydaniel6952
    @catheydaniel6952 3 года назад +18

    Simon:
    Rupert Murdoch is a dick
    Me: Yes, yes he is...allegedly

  • @DanSolow
    @DanSolow 3 года назад +1

    Simon the cyborg.
    Just the Terminator just a beard and "hipster" glasses 😂

  • @jennazump7334
    @jennazump7334 3 года назад +6

    Wife: wheres the kids?
    Simon: i just gave them away...what
    Epic

  • @knitpiks587
    @knitpiks587 3 года назад +1

    This is the first time I have laughed at Dr. Turner/Nina from FMA. Thank you Sam.

  • @diegogiovanni1
    @diegogiovanni1 3 года назад +3

    "I'd never give them away"..."ALLEGEDLY"...

  • @ralph-im-a-star-wars-wiggum
    @ralph-im-a-star-wars-wiggum 3 года назад

    I love the ad read on this one. “I have 3 different streaming services... and my sponsor isn’t one of them. You should go buy it!” Lol

  • @WeChallenge
    @WeChallenge 3 года назад +7

    Simon's Magellan ad read was interrupted by a RUclips ad.

    • @gtbkts
      @gtbkts 3 года назад

      He does love money from advertisers

  • @rfbyrnes
    @rfbyrnes 3 года назад

    Huge fan, love every video on all of the channels
    Every time I watch one I am reminded by my cousin, the two of you may be twins separated ad birth. I am doing the very thing I wanted to write about, apologies.
    I am amazed by the tangents and just lost. I watch, your mouth opens, words fall out and when you start questioning yourself, I am reminded of your great abilities and the lack of recall. LOVE IT ALL

  • @Thegreatresetoflife
    @Thegreatresetoflife 3 года назад +4

    Oh Simon let's talk about what really matters... Did you remember to feed Danny?.. time to buy some more beard oil. Link please 😉

  • @PronatorTendon
    @PronatorTendon 3 года назад +2

    Simon almost saying _transdentured_ multiple times has me wondering what on earth he's into, but also steadfastly unwilling to find out

  • @maninashedandyp
    @maninashedandyp 3 года назад +5

    Half man part cyborg with a big brain, we call him Simon whistler

  • @thehangmansdaughter1120
    @thehangmansdaughter1120 3 года назад +1

    I've been wondering about the surgical dressing for a bout a week now, but didn't like to ask. Glad to hear you're okay.

  • @modernnerdycollector5106
    @modernnerdycollector5106 3 года назад +6

    It would make a lot of people uncomfortable! And everyone knows it! As a straight man myself… I’m quite sure if I were dating someone and she recognized me from tv… it would be humiliating! Not to mention all my friends would joke and I could see someone going through serious depression over what would follow the reveal. Now from the other side… just choosing to be who you are is hard enough and finding someone to love is hard enough and then explaining who you once were to that person… :( the show did nothing to help this.

  • @ikmnification5737
    @ikmnification5737 3 года назад +2

    They should bring back "There's something about Mariam" yet have the contestants know about the "secret" and the secret is the the lead everyone is gunning for doesn't know that all the contests are after the lead knowing the "secret".
    So the appeal of the show is watching the lead try to keep their secret from the contestants while the contests have to pretend that they don't know the secret.

  • @Explosionman27
    @Explosionman27 3 года назад +3

    We have things like pork scratchers over here but we call them pork rinds, cracklins or chicharonnes

  • @nebuchadne33ar
    @nebuchadne33ar 3 года назад +2

    11:58 The reaction of the guys behind is priceless 😂

  • @Kiefsti
    @Kiefsti 3 года назад +28

    14:45 you are completely right to feel that way Simon. What the game show did was strip contestants right to consent.

    • @baggle8203
      @baggle8203 3 года назад +2

      no he’s not. she’s a woman. it’s not gay or weird to be attracted to her and who she is.

    • @Kiefsti
      @Kiefsti 3 года назад +19

      @@baggle8203
      They pimped her out as a circus prop, and they lied to the contestants about the situation.
      That is NOT consent.
      Please, please, educate yourself on consent.

    • @Lunch2391
      @Lunch2391 3 года назад +8

      @@baggle8203 not the point
      Simon never said anything like that
      his point was that being mislead like this would make him uncomfortable
      like a lot of people, of course it is a sensitive topic but if you plan to date someone you should be open about this
      If they do not accept this they are not worth your time anyways

    • @Lunch2391
      @Lunch2391 3 года назад +2

      @Wayne Smith I'm pretty sure the whole twist was that she still had a male reproduction system

    • @Lunch2391
      @Lunch2391 3 года назад +1

      @Wayne Smith 🤦🏼‍♀️ not the point

  • @breadcrumbhoarder
    @breadcrumbhoarder 3 года назад +1

    Dude I adored my dog, she was my emotional support animal and I ugly cried when she died. I even went back to therapy in preparation for her death. And then a couple months later I got two puppies. I literally can’t comprehend why someone would clone their pet. And I LOVE dogs, especially my sweet girl, but she’s gone, like that’s it and now life moves on

  • @theinformationstation5328
    @theinformationstation5328 3 года назад +53

    You would be absolutely right to feel that way if you were in the position of the game show contestants… the main issue is that they were lied to, and convinced to engage in sexualish actions without the full knowledge of the situation with which to give informed consent. That can be an issue without being bigoted in any way.

    • @hefoxed
      @hefoxed 3 года назад +13

      A women is a WOMEN, cis or trans or intersex. They were NOt lied to. It's NOT lieing to present a woman as a woman (though it appears she's confused on her identity, as she doesn't seem to think she can be a woman with her dick, but she can -- internalized transphobia is a thing and sure be nice if she'd been connected to larger trans community to have support instead of that shit show).
      The show was shit but they didn't lie. It's not a lie to prevent a woman as a woman.
      If someone's genatalia matter for someone to kiss, the person that gentalia matters to should be up front about that.

    • @KougajiCalling
      @KougajiCalling 3 года назад +7

      Informed consent is very important. However, unless they said the show was called something else, the name of the show itself was big hint.

    • @Flyingmushroomman
      @Flyingmushroomman 3 года назад +21

      @@hefoxed trans women aren't women how the whole point we have to give the surgery and hrt is because they're not the gender they want to be and biologically they never will be and it's disingenuous to think otherwise regardless of feelings this is factual. I would not refer to a 30 year old man as if he was 12 just cause he felt more comfortable refered to as a child, that's not how reality works. I won't go out of my way to make a transperson uncomfortable but I will not have my speech compelled by others to go along with something I don't believe in factually

    • @Jthomsonhate7
      @Jthomsonhate7 3 года назад +11

      @@hefoxed You are off your f*cking rocker, or nutty as a fruitcake, or a sandwich short of a picnic, take your pick.

    • @Lunch2391
      @Lunch2391 3 года назад +11

      they deliberately mislead them and tried to make them the laughing stock of the country
      I would've been so mad

  • @shellshell942
    @shellshell942 3 года назад

    The memes in this were very funny....actually laughed out loud and terrified my poor sleeping pup haha

  • @saradapagediocletian9707
    @saradapagediocletian9707 3 года назад +28

    Simon: You can't identify as a cat.
    Furries: Are we a joke to you!?
    Me: Y'all are a joke to everyone!

    • @Dannie-My0wnReality
      @Dannie-My0wnReality 3 года назад +3

      Preach !!!!!!

    • @BOYVIRGO666
      @BOYVIRGO666 3 года назад +3

      Lets not kink shame.

    • @Dannie-My0wnReality
      @Dannie-My0wnReality 3 года назад +6

      @@BOYVIRGO666 99% of the time I’d say I agree with that statement... unfortunately that other 1% of the time is when discussing furries 😂

  • @GustavoCardoso95
    @GustavoCardoso95 3 года назад

    I smile heartily when a Business related ad from youtube pop up on this channel 😂

  • @misswaffies2719
    @misswaffies2719 3 года назад +5

    i dont think its about whether or not the question of a transgender person being a "real" woman or man is the issue but when it comes to relationships some may want biological kids and at the end of the day it's not possible and as we know biological women and men can't always have kids which can also end relationships, nothing wrong with not being okay with that it just means they aren't meant to be together and need to find someone else that fits better, which is what everyone does tbh

  • @leeroy8936
    @leeroy8936 Год назад +1

    What if the Korean company just takes the money and then finds the breed of dog at a shelter or pet store. 😂

  • @SirDigbyChikkinCaesar
    @SirDigbyChikkinCaesar 3 года назад +3

    14:54
    This is why Sam is a genius and why I love him and all of his work.
    #samisalegend

  • @c_6951
    @c_6951 3 года назад

    The “leave me alone” text over Trouble was hilarious 😂

  • @ozzyondirt4003
    @ozzyondirt4003 3 года назад +6

    The true story is that ETA tried to kill him 👀

    • @cornishcat11
      @cornishcat11 3 года назад +1

      shhhh i heard ETA is on the loose and after revenge on all humans

  • @acatnamedtaz2167
    @acatnamedtaz2167 3 года назад

    Great way to start the day , coffee and blaze

  • @andrewb8698
    @andrewb8698 3 года назад +12

    It isn't bad to know what you're sexuall6 attracted to and anyone worth listening to in the community will recognise someone trying and forgive mishaps.
    You have never come of as trabsphobic to me and I will die on the hill defending you.
    A Non-Binary OGBB

  • @terencehill2320
    @terencehill2320 3 года назад +2

    29:08 insert continue screen from Mario

  • @DayZeroChannel
    @DayZeroChannel 3 года назад +4

    Simon, I think we would appreciate more cociane usage in your videos, sir.

    • @bluewolf194
      @bluewolf194 3 года назад +1

      He can't, his not allowed to mix coke with his pain killers.

    • @DayZeroChannel
      @DayZeroChannel 3 года назад +1

      @@bluewolf194 sounds like an epic Blaze to me

  • @WildeFyre69
    @WildeFyre69 3 года назад

    25:56 - Those cigarettes are from the movie "The Fifth Element", yes?
    Thanks for the video Simon! Cheers!

  • @onionshavlayr6429
    @onionshavlayr6429 3 года назад +13

    don't worry simon, i'm a gay trans guy and i would feel pretty weird in that situation. the reveal on the thing about miriam was a really awful way to come out to a prospective partner