You are right on. This is exactly what happens in my marriage and relationship with my Chinese in-laws. Lots of fighting with wife and mother-in-law. I had to hire a marriage therapist who speaks Mandarin to smooth out my relationship with my mother-in-law. No respect for me and my house and what I want or do not want them to do to my house that they live in with my family.
As a Chinese woman who is in her 20s and has never traveled overseas or studied abroad, I am an exception. I think your generalization is very accurate, although it seems to work well for people who are a bit older than me. It also is affected by the region you are talking about. I grew up in a mega city, and have accustomed to all kinds of cuisines around the world. So I guess it is just a matter of exposure to different options. Another thing is education level, which you mentioned briefly in the video. Although I have no experience living overseas, I have been exposed to different cultures while growing up and studying the English language and culture. There are tons of girls like me as well. Their acceptance of other cultures is much higher than those who do not care to learn English. However, even with lots of exposure to different cultures and lifestyles, it never means that those people will be more open-minded. It always varies among people and it does not matter where you are from. Lastly, the nationalism is spot on. I can only say it seems to be more deeply entrenched in society as time passes, so buckle up. Even if the Chinese woman is not apparently a "xiaofenhong", she still may be brainwashed or obliged to do what her family expects her to do. My overall point is, yes, it is extremely difficult to be with a Chinese woman unless she is totally cool and does not show any of the red flags you mentioned above...
Wow - you sound amazing! I wish more girls here were like you! One problem is that I live in 东北, and I think the women up here are the most extreme case of what I described in this video. I recently visited Guangzhou and Hangzhou and I could feel that the girls there were a LOT better than up here in so many ways! By the way, if you happen to be from 东北, I'm sorry to say this - not wanting to offend you, just giving you my honest opinion! Thank you so much for your honest and AWESOME comment! 谢谢美女！
That applies to most women, regardless of their ethnic background. Lots of them in the US and Canada. It's a plague. To fix that, men should pursue their masculinity and stop simping. Take charge and assert your rightful place as a head of the family. Women will try to say that they are the neck, but head should control whole "body" including the neck. They can be grgeat support and a lots of fun, but make sure that they know their place and status.
Everything you said is spot-on! The problem is, as humans, we seldom learn from the experience of others. Everyone who goes to China and has a relationship will almost certainly be encountering these problems.
I am a Chinese man, and I would like to share some opinions. These are just my personal views and do not represent objective facts, for reference only. Chinese women can generally be described as 'emotional.' Often, emotions dominate their minds, causing them to lose the ability to think rationally. Many Chinese women are self-centered. If you want to marry them, you basically need a house, a car, and about 300,000 RMB as a 'bride price' (in China, buying a house is very difficult for most ordinary people who earn less than 5,000 RMB a month). On certain holidays, like 5.20 (which sounds like 'I love you' in Chinese) and Qixi (Chinese Valentine's Day), most Chinese women will ask men to give them gifts or transfer money, but they usually do not reciprocate. In China, if you have a girlfriend, you are likely to face 'unreasonable behavior' (even if it is their fault). When they get tired of the love game, they will look for an honest and simple man to spend the rest of their lives with (even if they are already pregnant with another man's child), or they will divorce you to divide your property.
年少的时候看不懂富江，认为怎么会有如此的女人。长大后发现了富江特质的女性是真的存在的，年轻，风华正茂，高傲，平均的给身边所有男性机会，最后火候到了就倒打一耙。没什么能战胜富江除了时间（富江最终话）。伊藤润二诚不欺我 PS. 没有特指某个国家的谁谁谁，看到哥们的评论有感而发 I don't understand Tomie Kawakami while i'm a child, I don't think that kind of women is exist until I grow up. The Tomie, which is young and beautiful, superiority, Who give chance to every guys who around her and finally kick their out like throw a rubbish. Nothing could beat the Tomie but Time.(The end of the Tomie Kawakami). Junji Ito is a master! PS. not refering to any country people or anyone particular, just thoughts on something
Interesting point about air conditioning sickness. I always thought that was a myth but I guess it makes a lot of sense. I have never heard anybody clears their AC units and pipes in China.
Very accurate and this hit home. I’ve been with a Guangxi remote village girl for 10 years, not married, and not living in China. We started out with all these beliefs but she has mostly transitioned to western ways and finds them humorous now (with a couple exceptions lol).
culture is what makes who you are. if you born or raised outside china, you are not chines. and don't have chines culture so, don't marry beautiful chines woman. marry a westerner who may leave you at old age. exaggeration concerning china is part those don't like china. some in -laws may do what the blogger claimed, but not all in-laws put son in law in that kind situations. Westerners don't have a cultural affinity with their in- laws, but chines culture have, which is good..
It Happened to me. I met a Chinese girl in Beijing who wanted to get married after just one week of knowing her. I knew other girls who were going to get married after just two weeks of dating. I asked them, do you love him? The answer was always similar, well, he has a good job, a nice apartment, a really nice car, I think it will be okay. But, do you love him? No reply to that. It seemed to me marriage was to please the parents, and/or to have a financially stable life. So it seemed to me it was more for business than for love. No love was ever mentioned. I also had a friend who was developing a limp due to problems with his hip. His neighbours wanted him to leave the building where he was living because they were afraid they would catch his 'limping disease'. He explained it was a problem with his hip and that it wasn't a disease they could catch, but apparently they refused to understand this and just wanted to get rid of him for fear of catching his limp. I agree with the holiday point too. I had a Chinese girlfriend (not the one who wanted to get married after only one week due to her family's pressure, and not just her parents), it was Christmas in Beijing and I arranged to meet my girlfriend on Christmas day to go to my favourite cinema-cafe. The moment she arrived she was in a bad mood and started complaining. She told me she'd had something else to do that day and that Chinese people don't celebrate Christmas. She ended up complaining the whole day. She completely destroyed my Christmas. I was so pleased the next day to finally celebrate Christmas on my own. I still miss that cinema-cafe, my favourite place in Beijing.
Yeah, had a Chinese fantasy stage but then learned through Sertpenza back in 2013 how cold they could get! Especially calling you foreigner in both her country or your country!
Yeah, gotta love that... calling you a foreigner in your own country! LOL When I hear that I start speaking to them in Chinese and asking them about it... Let's just say, it usually leaves them speechless. :p
@@chopsticksandtrains. Because we look down on you. For example There are two types of Chinese restaurants in America. One of them is EXCLUSIVELY for you foreigners, here you can find Orange Chicken, General Tso chicken, sweet and sour chicken and all these junk a real Chinese would never eat even once in their life. Because it’s literally pig food and we only sell these food to foreigners
@@NorthernChinese Bruh, Chinese eat all kinds of stuff. Look at 油条… that’s like the grossest thing ever. Stop with the holier than though nonsense. I might make an entire video focused on not-so-appealing Chinese foods just because you said that. 🤣 Lots of great food in China, but plenty of crap as well.
As a Chinese, I can tell you how to choose a wife who is more accepting of Western culture (especially the United States and Western Europe). This is related to political views. A woman who is dissatisfied with the current government and believes that a more liberal economy and a democratic government are good for the country is more likely to accept Western culture. You are also more likely to get married. You can ask your girlfriend indirectly about her views on certain Chinese news (not necessarily negative news) in daily life. If she sympathizes with non-governmental forces, then you can ask her about her views on the Chinese government in the next conversation. If she is still not angry, you can ask her about her views on the Taiwan/Xinjiang issue. If she respects the choice of the people of Taiwan/Xinjiang, then she is almost the most pro-Western group of people in China. In addition, in China, the more economically developed regions are more likely to accept Western culture and find a husband from a Western country. (The Chinese definition of Western countries is the United States, Canada, Eastern/Western European countries, including Russia) The most economically developed region in China is the southeastern region of China, including the four provinces of Jiangsu, Zhejiang, Fujian, and Guangzhou, and the large cities of Shanghai, Guangzhou, Shenzhen, and Hong Kong. The per capita GDP in these regions generally exceeds US$20,000/year, reaching the level of developed countries. Of course, there is Taiwan, but I don’t know much about Taiwan.
I also have some suggestions. If you want to marry a Chinese woman, then in order to avoid too much interference from her parents, you can take her back to your country to live (although her parents will most likely object). Another thing is to recognize the reality that many Chinese women have unrealistic fantasies about marriage. They hope that a successful marriage will allow them to live a very wealthy life, so you have to accept that they may just love your money. (But loving your money alone does not mean that you only need money, they will still require your appearance and figure). From my personal experience, I think the proportion of women with such thoughts in China is even higher than that in the United States.
Thank you for the information. It is interesting to this American. One correction: Where you listed the four provinces in the most economically developed region, the province is *Guangdong* , not Guangzhou which is its capital city.
That part about it's her way or the highway is 100 % TRUE I'm talking to a Chinese girl from Hong Kong right now we're just in the talking stage and yet she's already wanting things to go her way
I have many young adult friends in Taiwan (former students, etc.) and most of them share the view that they would not wish to marry a person from China, and the reasons given are much in alignment with the pitfalls mentioned in this video. Chief among them is the family issue - the strong tradition of filial piety, even in the modern day. Marry a Chinese man and he will put his mother above you in importance, and a Chinese woman will bring her mom and dad along with her when you move into your first home. The secondary issue is Han chauvinism - and this applies if your wife/husband is Han and you are not (or not purely) Han. So, if you're more native Taiwanese (dark-skinned, with a single-line eyelid, etc...) or part Korean, Japanese, or (God forbid) Philippino, Indonesian or aboriginal Taiwanese, you're going to be looked down upon by your Han in-laws. You're going to be constantly reminded how "lucky" you are that your Children will be more Chinese (Han) due to your marriage to a Han person rather than carry on the lower-class situation of yourself and your family. Ask a Taiwanese woman what sort of man she would prefer to marry and she will most likely say a fellow Taiwanese, or someone from the UK, Europe, the US, or Australia - followed by Korean, or Japanese. Chinese is pretty much last on their list.
I saw on B. You're absolutely right, but what you've mentioned doesn't apply to wealthy people in China's first-tier cities. Wealthy individuals receive a better education and have a higher level of refinement. In other words, if you're only looking for a Chinese partner, being outstanding yourself makes it relatively easy to find a partner from an excellent Chinese family
@@chopsticksandtrains Don't be too happy. The users of that website are notoriously misogynistic and love anime. You get their approval because you criticize real women. If you make a video criticizing Chinese men, I believe they will gather in your video and curse you.
i have interacted with several mainlanders and here is my observation. they do not like to be questioned or disagreed with even if you question their opinion in an impersonal, rational way. they still take offense to it whereas americans are much more receptive to dissenting views if it's expressed rationally. it's almost as if they treat questions as a form of personal attack. another thing about chinese marriage is the type of food they're accustomed to eating can be a huge source of conflict. different provinces have different types of dishes and if you're married to someone from a different province, it is really a huge headache because of incompatible palate. i've known a mainland chinese who refuses to use fan during the summer. now i know why thanks to your video.
I suggest to American men who want to marry Chinese women is to first meet one who is already an American citizen or at least is a permanent resident. I know this is more difficult, but it will help avoid problems latter on. My friend and I both married Chinese women under these circumstances 12 years ago and are very happy.
Jesus, as a Chinese, This RUclipsr just revealed something I overlooked. Emmmmm..........I can say, he really have a Chinese wife and have been struggling with marital issues or family issues for a long while.😐The pressure from parents and the patriotic problem are really there. But, as long as u know how the game works, u will be fine. Hope u can figure a way out, pal. (Question: Have u ever face the bride price? I wonder)
Ha , I had a Chinese girlfriend in Vancouver , Canada. It was all Chinese just like you said. She did not even know what Canadian food was. I realized after a while what a terrible person she was , and broke up with her. My thoughts after 10 years is that I was astounded at the differences between the two of us even though she had lived here at that time for 25 years. Will never date a mainland girl again.. HK and Taiwan girls are fine though.
Disagree with the Hong Kong girls are fine part though. Most Hong Kongers have even worse behavior than the Mainlanders (think extremely pushy)... Agree with Taiwan.
Related to the virulent nationalism, I hate it when I hear: Mao is such a handsome man! I'm like, are you kidding me? He's gross. A fight ensues that when you think about it later on, that wasn't worth it
Haha, real insights. Even in summer some girls insist on wearing socks to protect from the 风. I’m a Chinese woman living abroad. Like your voice, pretty cool!
Your video is spot on. I could deal with boiling in summer but insults from old people I hate (parents) including what I eat, what I do, and being American did me in and we always here in America. They just got here.Another thing was people trying to force you to drink hot water. I never felt so liberated as when I escaped from that bunch. She may have been young, hot as he'll, and great in bed but that was it. I'd rather date a slightly overweight 40 year old that is nice to be honest.
I can’t stand my rural Chinese parents dictate me what I eat, what I do, how I do things. The “Forceful” part is generally true, many Chinese people are ignorant to personal boundaries and the etiquette of respecting others. In China, there is an unspoken rule of age power, the older the person is, the more dominance, even the older person is wrong and people should still follow/obey the old person. (Named “Ancestral worship”) If you look for a Chinese partner, you’d better filter out the seeking span, look for people who lived in more civilised regions(Beijing, Shanghai,Guangzhou etc), look for open-minded, don’t get a very Chinese traditional or China nationalist deep-rooted communism person. Don’t expect too much that you can change your partner, you select/filter out the candidates in the early stage, don’t rush into marriage. Don’t just focus on her good-looking appearance, her personality, education and life style should be looked at. I was born in a Chinese farmer family which favours male heirs, I am the unwanted daughter. In my childhood, I was the nanny for my younger brother. After I graduated from university, I lived in Wuhan, worked in Shanghai 4 years and studied in UK 2 years, I later returned to my hometown and I couldn’t get adapted to the way they treated me. For example, women aren’t allowed to sit on the table for dining, I can’t agree with that. I cooked my own meals and use my own plate, and they criticised me for being selfish (As I didn’t cook other people’s meals). I was given lots of pressures on how I ate my breakfast, I microwaved oatmeal, they were judging me “You are a weirdo”, “This is a strange food, don’t eat this, you should eat this food, that food… “, 😂Lots of judgemental things including “Why do you take showers daily, you should save water and electricity … “ and “You wasted money buying those fitness products.” (I like boxing and I bought a punch bag for home use because there was no gym in the rural region) …… Old people dictate, and my brother is a narcissistic dictator too. (In rural villages, male heir is deemed as an emperor.) Women are always belittled, downgraded and slaved. I later escaped from there after only lived several months with my biological families. You could say that I am a traitor to my rural traditions.
Can confirm this stuff is true. For me the biggest issue is the mother in law over involved in our child's life. . . The need to be overly involved and over controlling seems to be ingrained from the very top of Chinese society (Totalitarian regime) on down to the bottom. The wife was never too into child rearing anyways so she doesn't intervene. And I pity those at the bottom of the control pyramid! Luckily we are compatible financially (both big savers) and I manage almost all the finances. The AC sickness thing seems very similar to "drinking cold water will make you sick". . probably very good advice in a society where the drinking water was usually contaminated with e-coli (in the past) and drinking without boiling would result in severe illness or death.
Everything you have said is true 👍 I have a chinese lady! My relationship with her is not healthy!😀 I love jokes and humour but can't do it to her! At most times she's cold 🥶
Fortunately my Chinese wife tolerates my cool air requirements. She also spent several decades in the US so I guess that’s helped my cause. Ironically she wanted a dog, bought one and loves him like a son! Her parents are tolerant of him and have even boarded him in a pinch. I will say that during Xmas holiday here I was shocked how much Xmas stuff and events I saw at least in the Suzhou Hangzhou Shanghai area. I think if I tried to find a Chinese partner in China I suspect it would be significantly more difficult. Also I have to say I disagree with your comments on ultra nationalism. I don’t see it. And coming from the US who have always maintained an elitism entitled attitude I don’t see how anything near this applies here. In fact I find them to be all too welcoming and accepting of Americans despite the current administrations and many prior of wanting to contain China and even make them out to be evil. I feel the Chinese need to maintain a nationalist and sovereign attitude and protect against those that want to hate and hurt them. Every country wants to protect their sovereignty and their interests and China should be no different.
Thanks for the comment. I sounds to me like there are two issues where we part ways due to the following reasons: 1) I think you might be mixing China as a political entity with the common Chinese person, and 2) It sounds like you might have more of a superficial understanding of how Chinese actually think/feel, most like due to one or both of the following reasons, a) perhaps you haven't spent much time in China, and more likely b) you have limited to no understanding of the Chinese language. I say this politely (several of my expat friends here in China who don't speak Chinese and who haven't been here that long say things very similar to what you've said here).
@@chopsticksandtrains👍👍👍! As a chinese woman. I'm totally agree with you! Honestly ,Before i get a U.S. passport, i would unconditionly accept any request and choice from my american husband( if i have a chance of a american husband)😅.
I get the AC one, I think I’m lucky really. My misses has got less Chinese since moving back to my home country. She never used to like sweet deserts now she loves them
I have visited various asian countries and never had any problem with ordering a woman short term.They are very polite, generally speaking fit, soft skin and have a feminine aurora around themselves. However after an hour time to go home and I appreciate my privacy and time being by myself.
I met a girl on tinder from China within a few messages was talking about getting married she was 26 so she was a leftover woman. I was like: "I didn't even meet you yet and I don't even know what your favorite color is." After a few messages later she didn't want to talk anymore. They are weirdos when it comes to marriage, and if she wanted to get married she should have did that 7 years ago when she was in her prime and not a leftover 26 year old.
I agree that that was way too soon to be having that conversation. She probably just kept searching for someone who would marry her almost immediately.
Do you have any perceptions about the way Mainlanders communicate? I'm not referring to fluency, I'm referring to strategic ambiguity. With my wife and also with employees at my company, I notice a reticence to provide useful details about important things. A simple example, I'd get asked to make a choice between two things, and not told the reason the choice is necessary. So I have to ask a lot of questions. Why are you asking me? What it the background? Which do you think is better and why? etc. And getting the background often results in ambiguous answers that don't help. Ultimately you figure out that te reason for the initial choice is they were trying to say they don't like something else and want to get your "agreement" to make a change. I guess that is a face issue. Related to that, you cannot directly say someone is wrong, you just have to ignore the error and do something the right way the next time without saying it. And you will rarely hear an apology. This face issue is really important!
Yeah, much of the time it all ends up having to do with 'saving face'. Another thing I will say though is that Chinese often don't communicate all that clearly in general. If you listen to their daily speech, they just aren't very detail-oriented and descriptive in their language. I was surprised by this. Thanks for watching and dropping the interesting comment.
@@chopsticksandtrains Thanks for the interesting content. When I first arrived in China I had a language tutor who told me even if I was fluent, I'd find Chinese people don't communicate well. It is often true. Saving face, just like not directly saying no, is what I assumed, but you are right there is more to it, I think. It sometimes feels disrespectful at least to me anyway.
@@chopsticksandtrains Interesting. While Chinese may not communicate all that clearly isn't it also true that they can be very blunt like asking you how old you are, how much money you make etc.?
Meanwhile in high speed trains they crank the AC down to 16(lowest it can get) so people have to use BLANKETS when it's 39 degrees Celsius outdoors. Like WTF have you train people lost your mind? You're burning public funds!
No problems at all with my Chinese (Hong Kong) wife for the last 40 years and my gwai loh Cantonese is useful when playing mahjong with mother-in-law (we let her win). The no-no of the wind in the face blowing is true as is a no-no of going to bed with wet hair after a shower and drinking ice cold water. Having said that, I am always surprised and appalled how little mainland Chinese ladies know about their own Chinese history. Ask them for the name of the only female Chinese emperor or the famous Chinese admiral (Cheng Ho in Cantonese) with is 300 sailing junks you get blank stares or, if you dare, ask them how many millions of people died of starvation during Mao's Great Leap Forward. So the question is, what do they bring to the table with their demand for excessive bride prices.
I really like to be with a Chinese lady. I'm 58 years old and I'm a Sri Lankan. Separated from my wife, I'm willing to migrate to China any time. I'm a timber supplier and doing logging too.❤ I can speak some Chinese too.Asoka. Sri Lanka.
I grew up in Zimbabwe.never was exposed to any food from outside ,but when I moved to the UK. I have ate english food ,chinese food ,Indian food ,polish food ,greek yourgut 😂😂😂 and Nigerian jolofu ,Pakistan bhajis ,there is a new Americsn Wendiy in town i,I ate nachos. Life is full of advntures. Not to forget magharitta pizza. I only dont et food offered to idols.
@@chopsticksandtrains No its due to temperature and air, yes unclean caused issue bit getting suddenly chill air on body, getting lower temperature make you sick with cold. Simple why sudden briz of open air give you sniz ?
about the nationalism, i don't understand the bad, you can speak with somebody from the US and they will say the same about the US, "the best country in the world", which make no sense because the US have so many problems and they call themselves american whenever there is a full continent called america
this video got 111k views on chinese website, people discussing it very differently, and to my point of view i think what being described in this video is almost at least 20 years earlier, seems like what people born in 80s or even further would even do, to be honest i would go crazy if i have to live with my parents, not to mention with my wife even kids. So actually new chinese generation do not do these things, and we hate it too, btw i was born in 2004 and i think this video might be a little subjective, even old chinese man dont that afraid of ac and they are not very much extrem patrotics in their generations, maybe different by regions, but in fact they are many of that generations think CN is shit and US is hell way better than CN so they hate to be chinese , well ,i think there are actually more similarities than differences between human but because of personal experience and language, this universal have always been blocked
The Chinese have an aversion to wind? That's absolute nonsense! I've lost count of the times I've wandered down streets with a Chinese auntie walking in front of me letting rip!
Fans give me a cold by morning and same with AC. The way I survive is by directing the air conditioning towards the ceiling or the parts of the floor just under the ac unit
I have two Chinese coworkers. I'm certain they find me attractive - women can be laughably obvious when they're into you (are men this obvious???). I'm considering hooking up with one but I'm wondering if it's likely she'll expect / want a relationship and ultimately be a massive complication rather than a fun casual thing. Someone please weigh in... Oh and she's from Hong Kong for additional context. The other is from another city on the coast somewhat close to HK, forgot where though.
OH, I FORGOT. MY CHINESE WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN 50 YEARS MARRIED. We are the exception? Perhaps so. We certainly are a different generation, and the 21st century Chinese girl is now brainwashed to postpone marriage or not marry or if married her attitude is not the traditional one past Chinese women had. I KNOW IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE BUT CHINESE GIRLS YOU MUST RETURN TO BE THE TRADITIONAL WOMAN! To be Traditional is now not popular. PLEASE BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL BE VERY SORRY IF YOU FIND YOU ARE 50 YEARS OLD AND NOT MARRIED, PERHAPS HAVE NO CHILDREN! You do not care now because you are young and possibly are living not exactly good lives. And you will be 50 FASTER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE! FREE YOURSELVES FROM YOUR ENSLAVEMENT! NO, YOU ARE NOT FREE! MARRY AND BE A GOOD WIFE!!!
I guess I got lucky with my Chinese wife. None of these problems at all. Well her sisters will come over for Chinese New Years, but why is that a bad thing? She took to American life like a duck to water. She grew up in Hong Kong, maybe that had something to do with it. She started several businesses in her life, with varying results. She gets along well with others, knows a ton of people.
@@鲁巴肖夫 I have a completely different outlook on Hong Kong. From my experience, their behavior is much worse than mainlanders. In general, mainland Chinese are actually pretty respectful to others but are kind of socially clueless and have stubborn, traditional views that often cause misunderstandings. In contrast, most Hong Kongers I have met have a polite facade but are actually deeply selfish and extremely ruthless, pushy people. I work in a job where I've had many Hong Kong clients, and many of the absolute worst clients I've ever dealt with are Hong Kongers...
Oh no I must be Chinese! I don’t like direct air flow from fans either. And I had a doctor tell me once direct wind from fan when sleeping can cause body pain.
It can... but, that's due to getting overly cool due to the fan hitting you constantly in one spot. Get it oscillating and it shouldn't be an issue. Also, if you're in a hot place and use a fan, you need it to stay cool - it wouldn't get you cold enough to cause any aches or pains. Chinese generally don't think deeply about it though - they just think "Wind hits body = BAD... PAIN!" lol
that is true, especially if the air is cold, I slept just one night under the aircon blowing directly at me, the following morning, I got a pain deep within my elbow, the side that face the aircon. I tried everything to get rid of it to no avail, after many months, an old lady using old Chinese bone massage therapy with heat lamp and stinging herbal oil finally got rid of it. it hurt like hell when she was doing it. what a pain in the ar*se, never will allow direct wind on me when I sleep.
I think your content is rather extreme, and most of what you're describing is likely to be the case for people in their forties or fifties and older. If you come to China on a western holiday such as Christmas or Valentine's Day etc you will find holiday propaganda and decorations everywhere, in fact there have been many travel youtubers confirming this, only older people have no interest or knowledge of these holidays. There are many speciality restaurants from various countries in most cities in China, I can't agree that Chinese people don't accept foreign food, in fact every western fast food or catering brand in China will expand their menu to prevent a single dish due to the high number of customers. Cheese alone is something that all nomads in China make and it is a speciality of the nomadic regions of Inner Mongolia or Xinjiang or Tibet. And it's the elderly who don't like Western food because they think it's high in calories and unhealthy. About ‘shou feng’ is a Chinese medicine say, here I will not expand, I am not an expert in Chinese medicine, interested in you can find relevant information. As for the air-conditioning disease, it is also the idea of middle-aged and old people over 40 years old. To sum up I am curious what age group of Chinese people you are in contact with. And as for politics your comments are typical of being influenced by false reports from the west, Chinese people have never felt that their own country's politics is the best and have never wanted to force other countries to accept China's political system, we just want to mind our own business and we don't have a colony. And the reason why you think Chinese people are brainwashed since childhood I think firstly it is guided by western media, secondly Chinese patriotic education never degrade other countries political system, who is good and who is bad is up to you to judge. Chinese people are just relatively united because of their millennia old culture. And it's a coping mechanism against western colour revolutions, I think everyone knows what has happened behind the scenes in those divided countries: guiding public opinion to create anti-government sentiments among the populace-supporting anti-government organisations-overthrowing the existing government to set up puppet regimes (or splitting the country up and occupying the divided parts to set up new colonies). I think it's necessary to teach children to be wary of infiltration by colour revolutions, and if you think that's called brainwashing, then I can only wish your country the next USSR, Yugoslavia, Serbia, Korea and Ukraine.
It's funny, I've heard a lot of talk about ‘brainwashing education’ in China. But it sounds more like the Western governments are angry and cursing because they can't infiltrate the Chinese with separatism due to their unity. American children grow up surrounded by a ‘free and happy education’, where teachers don't teach their students knowledge, but only LGBT. they do what they want, have no respect for the classroom, and even high school students are as stupid as kindergarteners. The US is making kids and teenagers into such dumbasses who are all about sex and fun and no learning at all, so that they can grow up to be puppet voting machines that can be more easily controlled by the government. Isn't this more like brainwashing? But anyone who has ever met a Chinese child knows that Chinese children are surrounded by learning from kindergarten onwards, where children learn maths, a second language and develop hobbies in the arts or sports. Families with no money divert all their efforts to their children's school subjects (language, maths, geography, history, biology, chemistry, physics, politics, etc. are the basic subjects for Chinese students) which are overly strict but better than becoming stupid. If you think that the American ‘free and happy education’ is the real education, and Chinese children who love to learn are being ‘brainwashed’. Then I wish your children to be as ‘free’ as American children. (It's interesting to see that American schools are full of Asian kids in subject competitions and blacks on the sports field. maybe those noble white kids are enjoying their freedom.)
@@chopsticksandtrains Another self righteous guy. Well, you know more about China than the Chinese, who tell the truth = brainwashed. White people making rumors = objective. If you are telling the truth then please show proof. You said Chinese don't celebrate foreign festivals, all the content from youtubers who traveled to China proves you are lying.
Thank you very much, I find the video very interesting and most of the points plausible. However, I can confirm less and less that people in the West are used to competition between different opinions and cultures. In Germany at least, you only hear negative things about countries outside the West in the media. As a result, people in Germany are increasingly disinformed about the world beyond the West. For the most part, they still expect China to have the same standard of living as under Mao, supplemented by horror stories about poor Chinese slaves who have to assemble iPhones in huge factories for a pittance. All Chinese products are said to be copies of Western engineering. I myself was blown away when modern translation software enabled me to get my own picture of China on international websites. In Germany, the USA used to be regarded as the "land of limitless possibilities", but for me this is now China, or at least will soon be. It's no different when it comes to Russia, except that the disinformation here is still mixed with the old Russophobia from the Nazi era. On the one hand, a picture is painted of Russia as if everyone there lived in a gulag with a standard of living similar to that under Yeltsin, while on the other hand fears are stirred up that Russia is extremely strong militarily and wants to conquer half of Europe. Yet the Russian defense budget of less than 70 billion US dollars contrasts with a total NATO budget of 1200 billion US dollars. In any case, I have an unprejudiced interest in and sympathy for both China and Russia. In my opinion, the West has still not managed to realize that the era of colonial powers has come to an end. We need to treat each other with respect and as equals. Asia and the Global South can do this, the West still has a lot to learn in this aspect.
Hier ist fuer mich eine Chance als Amerikaner mein Deutsch zu benutzen. Ich werde ohne Google Transate versuchen. Leider, habe ich noch ein kleiner Vokabeln. Ich glaube, die Regierung Russlands sehr uebel zu sein. Die Meistens der Leute aber nicht. Die Laender des Westens nach meiner Meinung muessen zusammen gegen Russland kaempfen. Ja, wir muessen alle Respekt haben aber ich zweifele dass Colonialismus (?) heute noch steht.
I'm from a colder European country and I always get very sick and a severe cold when I encounter hot Asian countries and all the the buildings having the AC running on low temperature settings. So there's actually some truth in AC sickness. What I never understood was that those fat, overweight Americans need to turn on the AC at full power at the first warm day of the year.
Dude I’m Latino and all those things you said are part of Latin culture. The fan is actually true, I tend to get sick whenever I have a fan blowing into my face, but when I aim it at my body I tend to it to get sick. Latinos tend to be very family oriented and we tend to stick with our parents very close to each other, so literally there is no difference while I know you Americans tend to kick your kids out of the house at 18 and bad mouth your parents. I like Chinese food but the Asian girls I have met tend to like Spanish music and have even been keen to taste Latin food, so I have no idea what you are talking there. Yes they are Chinese and they have a right to be proud of their country. I think you are projecting the American expectation on a family oriented culture.
If you get sick from the wind of a fan hitting your body, I'd suggest that you might want to look into researching and taking measures to boost your immune system. You shouldn't get sick from air gently touching your body. LOL The "Asian girls" you met? There are lots of countries in Asia... I'm only discussing MAINLAND CHINESE here. Americans kick our kids out of the house and we bad mouth our parents? OK, now I think you're just trolling me. Weird comment in so many ways - couldn't disagree with you more. I honestly think you are Chinese. Based on your comment, I highly doubt you are Latino.
The thing about fans though is it's actually a really bad idea to have a fan blowing at your face in a cramped office. I did that for a little while and I got pretty bad pneumonia, likely because the fan was blowing my colleagues' germs right down my wind pipe. The thing is, I understand that I was infected by a virus and not "wind." The air conditioner fear is complete nonsense though. @@chopsticksandtrains
You are right on. This is exactly what happens in my marriage and relationship with my Chinese in-laws. Lots of fighting with wife and mother-in-law. I had to hire a marriage therapist who speaks Mandarin to smooth out my relationship with my mother-in-law. No respect for me and my house and what I want or do not want them to do to my house that they live in with my family.
As a Chinese woman who is in her 20s and has never traveled overseas or studied abroad, I am an exception. I think your generalization is very accurate, although it seems to work well for people who are a bit older than me. It also is affected by the region you are talking about. I grew up in a mega city, and have accustomed to all kinds of cuisines around the world. So I guess it is just a matter of exposure to different options. Another thing is education level, which you mentioned briefly in the video. Although I have no experience living overseas, I have been exposed to different cultures while growing up and studying the English language and culture. There are tons of girls like me as well. Their acceptance of other cultures is much higher than those who do not care to learn English. However, even with lots of exposure to different cultures and lifestyles, it never means that those people will be more open-minded. It always varies among people and it does not matter where you are from. Lastly, the nationalism is spot on. I can only say it seems to be more deeply entrenched in society as time passes, so buckle up. Even if the Chinese woman is not apparently a "xiaofenhong", she still may be brainwashed or obliged to do what her family expects her to do. My overall point is, yes, it is extremely difficult to be with a Chinese woman unless she is totally cool and does not show any of the red flags you mentioned above...
Wow - you sound amazing! I wish more girls here were like you! One problem is that I live in 东北, and I think the women up here are the most extreme case of what I described in this video. I recently visited Guangzhou and Hangzhou and I could feel that the girls there were a LOT better than up here in so many ways! By the way, if you happen to be from 东北, I'm sorry to say this - not wanting to offend you, just giving you my honest opinion! Thank you so much for your honest and AWESOME comment! 谢谢美女！
You sound like a really good Chinese friend of mine who is from 😊Guangdong . 😅 I thought you were probably her in disguise
Laowhy86 and Serpenza's Chinese wife are also an exception.
How about, "What's yours is hers, and whats's hers is hers."
HAHAHA! Sounds about right!
Ya I had a ex wife also have this mindset which is unacceptable to me.
That applies to most women, regardless of their ethnic background. Lots of them in the US and Canada. It's a plague. To fix that, men should pursue their masculinity and stop simping. Take charge and assert your rightful place as a head of the family. Women will try to say that they are the neck, but head should control whole "body" including the neck. They can be grgeat support and a lots of fun, but make sure that they know their place and status.
You work all month then she asks when she gets HER salary.
LOL - nice one @@MrBlack-vd2ws
Spot on 說的太对了99.9% accurate 😅
必须的！
Everything you said is spot-on! The problem is, as humans, we seldom learn from the experience of others. Everyone who goes to China and has a relationship will almost certainly be encountering these problems.
I am a Chinese man, and I would like to share some opinions. These are just my personal views and do not represent objective facts, for reference only.
Chinese women can generally be described as 'emotional.' Often, emotions dominate their minds, causing them to lose the ability to think rationally. Many Chinese women are self-centered. If you want to marry them, you basically need a house, a car, and about 300,000 RMB as a 'bride price' (in China, buying a house is very difficult for most ordinary people who earn less than 5,000 RMB a month). On certain holidays, like 5.20 (which sounds like 'I love you' in Chinese) and Qixi (Chinese Valentine's Day), most Chinese women will ask men to give them gifts or transfer money, but they usually do not reciprocate. In China, if you have a girlfriend, you are likely to face 'unreasonable behavior' (even if it is their fault). When they get tired of the love game, they will look for an honest and simple man to spend the rest of their lives with (even if they are already pregnant with another man's child), or they will divorce you to divide your property.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
They sound *very* much like American women, especially the last sentence.
@@Bob31415 I would say it is a kind of convergent evolution, LOL.
年少的时候看不懂富江，认为怎么会有如此的女人。长大后发现了富江特质的女性是真的存在的，年轻，风华正茂，高傲，平均的给身边所有男性机会，最后火候到了就倒打一耙。没什么能战胜富江除了时间（富江最终话）。伊藤润二诚不欺我
PS. 没有特指某个国家的谁谁谁，看到哥们的评论有感而发
I don't understand Tomie Kawakami while i'm a child, I don't think that kind of women is exist until I grow up. The Tomie, which is young and beautiful, superiority, Who give chance to every guys who around her and finally kick their out like throw a rubbish. Nothing could beat the Tomie but Time.(The end of the Tomie Kawakami). Junji Ito is a master!
PS. not refering to any country people or anyone particular, just thoughts on something
Interesting point about air conditioning sickness. I always thought that was a myth but I guess it makes a lot of sense. I have never heard anybody clears their AC units and pipes in China.
Very accurate and this hit home. I’ve been with a Guangxi remote village girl for 10 years, not married, and not living in China. We started out with all these beliefs but she has mostly transitioned to western ways and finds them humorous now (with a couple exceptions lol).
Wow - you got through the hardest part! Good man! Congrats!
As a chinese I won’t marry someone who’s mother tongue is mandarin for the reasons you said😆
Thanks for watching and commenting!
culture is what makes who you are. if you born or raised outside china, you are not chines. and don't have chines culture so, don't marry beautiful chines woman. marry a westerner who may leave you at old age. exaggeration concerning china is part those don't like china. some in -laws may do what the blogger claimed, but not all in-laws put son in law in that kind situations. Westerners don't have a cultural affinity with their in- laws, but chines culture have, which is good..
@@berekina so I am a cantonese born and raised in beijing, and have a chinese ex wife and a few gfs🤣
Yes, two relatives in Hong Kong married women from mainland China and they suffered for years.
It Happened to me. I met a Chinese girl in Beijing who wanted to get married after just one week of knowing her. I knew other girls who were going to get married after just two weeks of dating. I asked them, do you love him? The answer was always similar, well, he has a good job, a nice apartment, a really nice car, I think it will be okay. But, do you love him? No reply to that. It seemed to me marriage was to please the parents, and/or to have a financially stable life. So it seemed to me it was more for business than for love. No love was ever mentioned. I also had a friend who was developing a limp due to problems with his hip. His neighbours wanted him to leave the building where he was living because they were afraid they would catch his 'limping disease'. He explained it was a problem with his hip and that it wasn't a disease they could catch, but apparently they refused to understand this and just wanted to get rid of him for fear of catching his limp. I agree with the holiday point too. I had a Chinese girlfriend (not the one who wanted to get married after only one week due to her family's pressure, and not just her parents), it was Christmas in Beijing and I arranged to meet my girlfriend on Christmas day to go to my favourite cinema-cafe. The moment she arrived she was in a bad mood and started complaining. She told me she'd had something else to do that day and that Chinese people don't celebrate Christmas. She ended up complaining the whole day. She completely destroyed my Christmas. I was so pleased the next day to finally celebrate Christmas on my own. I still miss that cinema-cafe, my favourite place in Beijing.
Really glad you shared your experiences here. People can learn a lot from reading your comment!
😮 they get used to follow orders from leaders and make leaders happy
lol Chinese female toilets really like old bald creepy Anglo 😂😂😂
Hope you dumped that .....
It's usually in the western world where love is a consideration for marriage. Not really another parts.
Yeah, had a Chinese fantasy stage but then learned through Sertpenza back in 2013 how cold they could get! Especially calling you foreigner in both her country or your country!
Yeah, gotta love that... calling you a foreigner in your own country! LOL When I hear that I start speaking to them in Chinese and asking them about it... Let's just say, it usually leaves them speechless. :p
lol 😂Anglo bald and old incels got mad his Chinese Ling Ling called him a foreigner
@@chopsticksandtrains hello white Anglo Saxon incels, can you tell me why y’all are bald and have big belly ? 😂
@@chopsticksandtrains. Because we look down on you. For example There are two types of Chinese restaurants in America. One of them is EXCLUSIVELY for you foreigners, here you can find Orange Chicken, General Tso chicken, sweet and sour chicken and all these junk a real Chinese would never eat even once in their life. Because it’s literally pig food and we only sell these food to foreigners
@@NorthernChinese Bruh, Chinese eat all kinds of stuff. Look at 油条… that’s like the grossest thing ever. Stop with the holier than though nonsense. I might make an entire video focused on not-so-appealing Chinese foods just because you said that. 🤣 Lots of great food in China, but plenty of crap as well.
Your Chinese in-laws will take control of your home decor....and consequently your apartment will look like an Uzbek bordello.
Why are Anglo Saxon male so short and skinny
As a Chinese, I can tell you how to choose a wife who is more accepting of Western culture (especially the United States and Western Europe).
This is related to political views. A woman who is dissatisfied with the current government and believes that a more liberal economy and a democratic government are good for the country is more likely to accept Western culture. You are also more likely to get married.
You can ask your girlfriend indirectly about her views on certain Chinese news (not necessarily negative news) in daily life. If she sympathizes with non-governmental forces, then you can ask her about her views on the Chinese government in the next conversation. If she is still not angry, you can ask her about her views on the Taiwan/Xinjiang issue. If she respects the choice of the people of Taiwan/Xinjiang, then she is almost the most pro-Western group of people in China.
In addition, in China, the more economically developed regions are more likely to accept Western culture and find a husband from a Western country. (The Chinese definition of Western countries is the United States, Canada, Eastern/Western European countries, including Russia)
The most economically developed region in China is the southeastern region of China, including the four provinces of Jiangsu, Zhejiang, Fujian, and Guangzhou, and the large cities of Shanghai, Guangzhou, Shenzhen, and Hong Kong. The per capita GDP in these regions generally exceeds US$20,000/year, reaching the level of developed countries. Of course, there is Taiwan, but I don’t know much about Taiwan.
I also have some suggestions. If you want to marry a Chinese woman, then in order to avoid too much interference from her parents, you can take her back to your country to live (although her parents will most likely object). Another thing is to recognize the reality that many Chinese women have unrealistic fantasies about marriage. They hope that a successful marriage will allow them to live a very wealthy life, so you have to accept that they may just love your money. (But loving your money alone does not mean that you only need money, they will still require your appearance and figure). From my personal experience, I think the proportion of women with such thoughts in China is even higher than that in the United States.
Thank you for the information. It is interesting to this American. One correction: Where you listed the four provinces in the most economically developed region, the province is *Guangdong* , not Guangzhou which is its capital city.
@@Bob31415 lol these two names are so similar that I often get confused, I am from Jiangsu Province
@@kittyjimx1143 Of course. Thank you.
Super duper interesting!!!!! The AC and wind, the in-laws, the hyper patriotic
Glad you enjoyed it! Lots more content on the way! :)
That part about it's her way or the highway is 100 % TRUE I'm talking to a Chinese girl from Hong Kong right now we're just in the talking stage and yet she's already wanting things to go her way
Good luck! Don’t let your affection for her blind you.
I bet it won’t last 😅 长不聊
I really enjoyed this. Thanks for your insights!
Thanks Toothnut!
I've lived in China for 10 years and what you're saying is 100% the truth!
Appreciate the support and having another long time China expat vouch for me! 🤝 IYKYK
I have many young adult friends in Taiwan (former students, etc.) and most of them share the view that they would not wish to marry a person from China, and the reasons given are much in alignment with the pitfalls mentioned in this video. Chief among them is the family issue - the strong tradition of filial piety, even in the modern day. Marry a Chinese man and he will put his mother above you in importance, and a Chinese woman will bring her mom and dad along with her when you move into your first home. The secondary issue is Han chauvinism - and this applies if your wife/husband is Han and you are not (or not purely) Han. So, if you're more native Taiwanese (dark-skinned, with a single-line eyelid, etc...) or part Korean, Japanese, or (God forbid) Philippino, Indonesian or aboriginal Taiwanese, you're going to be looked down upon by your Han in-laws. You're going to be constantly reminded how "lucky" you are that your Children will be more Chinese (Han) due to your marriage to a Han person rather than carry on the lower-class situation of yourself and your family. Ask a Taiwanese woman what sort of man she would prefer to marry and she will most likely say a fellow Taiwanese, or someone from the UK, Europe, the US, or Australia - followed by Korean, or Japanese. Chinese is pretty much last on their list.
Very interesting comment. Thanks for sharing all that. I am definitely making a visit to Taiwan in 2024!
Yes, very interesting observation.
Saw you walk by the Moutai ice cream place, how is it?
Never had it... I guess maybe I should give it a shot, 'ay?
Not great.
Just tastes like glue.
I saw on B. You're absolutely right, but what you've mentioned doesn't apply to wealthy people in China's first-tier cities. Wealthy individuals receive a better education and have a higher level of refinement. In other words, if you're only looking for a Chinese partner, being outstanding yourself makes it relatively easy to find a partner from an excellent Chinese family
Thanks for watching and commenting. Always happy to see Chinese friends here!
This video got 200,000 views on Bilibili with Chinese translation, most of the Chinese netizens appreciated this video
That's good to hear! Thanks for letting me know! :)
@@chopsticksandtrains Don't be too happy. The users of that website are notoriously misogynistic and love anime. You get their approval because you criticize real women. If you make a video criticizing Chinese men, I believe they will gather in your video and curse you.
Chinese Man know their women best.
i have interacted with several mainlanders and here is my observation. they do not like to be questioned or disagreed with even if you question their opinion in an impersonal, rational way. they still take offense to it whereas americans are much more receptive to dissenting views if it's expressed rationally. it's almost as if they treat questions as a form of personal attack.
another thing about chinese marriage is the type of food they're accustomed to eating can be a huge source of conflict. different provinces have different types of dishes and if you're married to someone from a different province, it is really a huge headache because of incompatible palate.
i've known a mainland chinese who refuses to use fan during the summer. now i know why thanks to your video.
Thanks for dropping that comment! Enjoyed reading it! I'm happy the video helped to make sense of some of these things!
😂在中国大陆，尤其是南方地区。人们习惯利用一种不直白或者开玩笑的方式来表达对对方表达建议和意见，如果你没有绞尽脑汁去使用一些委婉的方式和他们交流，他们会认为你在指责他们，没有给他们保留面子，不留情，甚至会认为你具有攻击性。这就是文化差异带来的矛盾。
@@Changxiangwuxian 我还是感觉那种人是有点自信心不够，是一种敏感。跟教育有关的。从小一直挺：”这样就是对的“， 然后要是遇到一个跟他们想的不一样，很多人会有一种比较敏感的反应。主要是教育差异，而不是太大的文化差异。 西方人习惯于让人们挑战他们的想法。 中国在这方面有所不同。 中国更像是一个回声室，不鼓励思想多样性。
Unless the Americans are Trump supporters.
Or American Muslims
I suggest to American men who want to marry Chinese women is to first meet one who is already an American citizen or at least is a permanent resident. I know this is more difficult, but it will help avoid problems latter on. My friend and I both married Chinese women under these circumstances 12 years ago and are very happy.
Next time don't put out 1 min. long disclaimer. It already weakens your arguments before you present them.
My woman is from China and she is not a big fan of AC lol.
However, she loves our holidays and enjoys other foods.
Your experience is extreme though.
When did your lady leave the mainland? Some of these things have been getting worse over the past decade or so. Thanks for watching/commenting.
Jesus, as a Chinese, This RUclipsr just revealed something I overlooked. Emmmmm..........I can say, he really have a Chinese wife and have been struggling with marital issues or family issues for a long while.😐The pressure from parents and the patriotic problem are really there. But, as long as u know how the game works, u will be fine.
Hope u can figure a way out, pal. (Question: Have u ever face the bride price? I wonder)
In general, you should always live with your gf for awhile before marrying.
Ha , I had a Chinese girlfriend in Vancouver , Canada. It was all Chinese just like you said. She did not even know what Canadian food was. I realized after a while what a terrible person she was , and broke up with her. My thoughts after 10 years is that I was astounded at the differences between the two of us even though she had lived here at that time for 25 years. Will never date a mainland girl again.. HK and Taiwan girls are fine though.
👍👍👍😅
Disagree with the Hong Kong girls are fine part though. Most Hong Kongers have even worse behavior than the Mainlanders (think extremely pushy)... Agree with Taiwan.
Related to the virulent nationalism, I hate it when I hear: Mao is such a handsome man! I'm like, are you kidding me? He's gross. A fight ensues that when you think about it later on, that wasn't worth it
Haha, real insights. Even in summer some girls insist on wearing socks to protect from the 风. I’m a Chinese woman living abroad. Like your voice, pretty cool!
Thanks for your comment! 希望你天天过得愉快！
So do *you* wear socks in summertime? 😊😊
Your video is spot on. I could deal with boiling in summer but insults from old people I hate (parents) including what I eat, what I do, and being American did me in and we always here in America. They just got here.Another thing was people trying to force you to drink hot water. I never felt so liberated as when I escaped from that bunch. She may have been young, hot as he'll, and great in bed but that was it. I'd rather date a slightly overweight 40 year old that is nice to be honest.
I can’t stand my rural Chinese parents dictate me what I eat, what I do, how I do things. The “Forceful” part is generally true, many Chinese people are ignorant to personal boundaries and the etiquette of respecting others. In China, there is an unspoken rule of age power, the older the person is, the more dominance, even the older person is wrong and people should still follow/obey the old person. (Named “Ancestral worship”) If you look for a Chinese partner, you’d better filter out the seeking span, look for people who lived in more civilised regions(Beijing, Shanghai,Guangzhou etc), look for open-minded, don’t get a very Chinese traditional or China nationalist deep-rooted communism person. Don’t expect too much that you can change your partner, you select/filter out the candidates in the early stage, don’t rush into marriage. Don’t just focus on her good-looking appearance, her personality, education and life style should be looked at. I was born in a Chinese farmer family which favours male heirs, I am the unwanted daughter. In my childhood, I was the nanny for my younger brother. After I graduated from university, I lived in Wuhan, worked in Shanghai 4 years and studied in UK 2 years, I later returned to my hometown and I couldn’t get adapted to the way they treated me. For example, women aren’t allowed to sit on the table for dining, I can’t agree with that. I cooked my own meals and use my own plate, and they criticised me for being selfish (As I didn’t cook other people’s meals). I was given lots of pressures on how I ate my breakfast, I microwaved oatmeal, they were judging me “You are a weirdo”, “This is a strange food, don’t eat this, you should eat this food, that food… “, 😂Lots of judgemental things including “Why do you take showers daily, you should save water and electricity … “ and “You wasted money buying those fitness products.” (I like boxing and I bought a punch bag for home use because there was no gym in the rural region) …… Old people dictate, and my brother is a narcissistic dictator too. (In rural villages, male heir is deemed as an emperor.) Women are always belittled, downgraded and slaved. I later escaped from there after only lived several months with my biological families. You could say that I am a traitor to my rural traditions.
Can confirm this stuff is true. For me the biggest issue is the mother in law over involved in our child's life. . . The need to be overly involved and over controlling seems to be ingrained from the very top of Chinese society (Totalitarian regime) on down to the bottom. The wife was never too into child rearing anyways so she doesn't intervene. And I pity those at the bottom of the control pyramid! Luckily we are compatible financially (both big savers) and I manage almost all the finances. The AC sickness thing seems very similar to "drinking cold water will make you sick". . probably very good advice in a society where the drinking water was usually contaminated with e-coli (in the past) and drinking without boiling would result in severe illness or death.
Everything you have said is true 👍
I have a chinese lady!
My relationship with her is not healthy!😀
I love jokes and humour but can't do it to her!
At most times she's cold 🥶
Ain't tryna drink no hot water. Those folks is crazy.
Absolutely True!
Thanks for watching and commenting!
Fortunately my Chinese wife tolerates my cool air requirements. She also spent several decades in the US so I guess that’s helped my cause. Ironically she wanted a dog, bought one and loves him like a son! Her parents are tolerant of him and have even boarded him in a pinch. I will say that during Xmas holiday here I was shocked how much Xmas stuff and events I saw at least in the Suzhou Hangzhou Shanghai area. I think if I tried to find a Chinese partner in China I suspect it would be significantly more difficult. Also I have to say I disagree with your comments on ultra nationalism. I don’t see it. And coming from the US who have always maintained an elitism entitled attitude I don’t see how anything near this applies here. In fact I find them to be all too welcoming and accepting of Americans despite the current administrations and many prior of wanting to contain China and even make them out to be evil. I feel the Chinese need to maintain a nationalist and sovereign attitude and protect against those that want to hate and hurt them. Every country wants to protect their sovereignty and their interests and China should be no different.
Thanks for the comment. I sounds to me like there are two issues where we part ways due to the following reasons: 1) I think you might be mixing China as a political entity with the common Chinese person, and 2) It sounds like you might have more of a superficial understanding of how Chinese actually think/feel, most like due to one or both of the following reasons, a) perhaps you haven't spent much time in China, and more likely b) you have limited to no understanding of the Chinese language. I say this politely (several of my expat friends here in China who don't speak Chinese and who haven't been here that long say things very similar to what you've said here).
@@chopsticksandtrains👍👍👍! As a chinese woman. I'm totally agree with you! Honestly ,Before i get a U.S. passport, i would unconditionly accept any request and choice from my american husband( if i have a chance of a american husband)😅.
@@julianschind486 Thanks for watching/commenting, Julian.
But you have to admit, they are kind of cute, too?
Good Info!
I get the AC one, I think I’m lucky really. My misses has got less Chinese since moving back to my home country. She never used to like sweet deserts now she loves them
I have visited various asian countries and never had any problem with ordering a woman short term.They are very polite, generally speaking fit, soft skin and have a feminine aurora around themselves. However after an hour time to go home and I appreciate my privacy and time being by myself.
I met a girl on tinder from China within a few messages was talking about getting married she was 26 so she was a leftover woman. I was like: "I didn't even meet you yet and I don't even know what your favorite color is." After a few messages later she didn't want to talk anymore. They are weirdos when it comes to marriage, and if she wanted to get married she should have did that 7 years ago when she was in her prime and not a leftover 26 year old.
I agree that that was way too soon to be having that conversation. She probably just kept searching for someone who would marry her almost immediately.
@@Bob31415 true, it's too aggressive because they waited too long.
Do you have any perceptions about the way Mainlanders communicate? I'm not referring to fluency, I'm referring to strategic ambiguity. With my wife and also with employees at my company, I notice a reticence to provide useful details about important things. A simple example, I'd get asked to make a choice between two things, and not told the reason the choice is necessary. So I have to ask a lot of questions. Why are you asking me? What it the background? Which do you think is better and why? etc. And getting the background often results in ambiguous answers that don't help. Ultimately you figure out that te reason for the initial choice is they were trying to say they don't like something else and want to get your "agreement" to make a change. I guess that is a face issue. Related to that, you cannot directly say someone is wrong, you just have to ignore the error and do something the right way the next time without saying it. And you will rarely hear an apology. This face issue is really important!
Yeah, much of the time it all ends up having to do with 'saving face'. Another thing I will say though is that Chinese often don't communicate all that clearly in general. If you listen to their daily speech, they just aren't very detail-oriented and descriptive in their language. I was surprised by this. Thanks for watching and dropping the interesting comment.
@@chopsticksandtrains Thanks for the interesting content. When I first arrived in China I had a language tutor who told me even if I was fluent, I'd find Chinese people don't communicate well. It is often true. Saving face, just like not directly saying no, is what I assumed, but you are right there is more to it, I think. It sometimes feels disrespectful at least to me anyway.
@@chopsticksandtrains Interesting. While Chinese may not communicate all that clearly isn't it also true that they can be very blunt like asking you how old you are, how much money you make etc.?
@@Bob31415 Yes, that's accurate. But women are asking less these days how much you make. Some will still ask though.
Meanwhile in high speed trains they crank the AC down to 16(lowest it can get) so people have to use BLANKETS when it's 39 degrees Celsius outdoors. Like WTF have you train people lost your mind? You're burning public funds!
No problems at all with my Chinese (Hong Kong) wife for the last 40 years and my gwai loh Cantonese is useful when playing mahjong with mother-in-law (we let her win). The no-no of the wind in the face blowing is true as is a no-no of going to bed with wet hair after a shower and drinking ice cold water. Having said that, I am always surprised and appalled how little mainland Chinese ladies know about their own Chinese history. Ask them for the name of the only female Chinese emperor or the famous Chinese admiral (Cheng Ho in Cantonese) with is 300 sailing junks you get blank stares or, if you dare, ask them how many millions of people died of starvation during Mao's Great Leap Forward. So the question is, what do they bring to the table with their demand for excessive bride prices.
I really like to be with a Chinese lady. I'm 58 years old and I'm a Sri Lankan. Separated from my wife, I'm willing to migrate to China any time. I'm a timber supplier and doing logging too.❤ I can speak some Chinese too.Asoka. Sri Lanka.
Hehe, good luck my friend.
Thanks for your kind concern with this issue. I am hoping to have a knowledgeable partner for me. Asoka. Sri Lanka.
Cold drinks will also kill you.
🤣🤦🏻♂
I think China women are beautiful. But after watching this video I might pass
I grew up in Zimbabwe.never was exposed to any food from outside ,but when I moved to the UK. I have ate english food ,chinese food ,Indian food ,polish food ,greek yourgut 😂😂😂 and Nigerian jolofu ,Pakistan bhajis ,there is a new Americsn Wendiy in town i,I ate nachos. Life is full of advntures. Not to forget magharitta pizza. I only dont et food offered to idols.
Good for you! Variety is the spice of life!
Can you make a video on how Chinese view money in relationships?
Possibly, if I feel I can do the topic justice. Thanks for the idea! I'll definitely keep it in mind!
I meant "they." I am tired. It is 3:30am Thursday morning here on Pacific Time Zone.
Fan disease is true, currently I am suffering from heavy cold due to air and ac are the worst.
Probably due to an unclean filter in your AC unit. Reasonably cool air does not cause illness.
@@chopsticksandtrains No its due to temperature and air, yes unclean caused issue bit getting suddenly chill air on body, getting lower temperature make you sick with cold. Simple why sudden briz of open air give you sniz ?
A westerner insight of when traditional mainland Chinese Societal norms and Culture vs Modern western societal norms and culture must coexist. LOL.
I already have a Chinese wife so it is too late to watch this video.
If I have to choose between ultra nationalism of China, or the self loathing of the west, I will definitely go China’s way
As a foreigner in China you'd prefer Chinese nationalism and xenophobia? You sure about that? LOL
about the nationalism, i don't understand the bad, you can speak with somebody from the US and they will say the same about the US, "the best country in the world", which make no sense because the US have so many problems and they call themselves american whenever there is a full continent called america
Value video
Thanks
While I just wondering how many chinese girls you"ve been dated before made you come to the conclusion of the mojarity chinese women act like that.
Dated quite a few. Also, had plenty of friends who have dated/married Chinese women as well.
Great video, but remember the words "your" and you're." Thay have different meanings. Just trying to help.
Very true. That mistake is *extremely* common.
Don't give in, young girl, we want to impose middle age rules on you. Thanks for sharing.
this video got 111k views on chinese website, people discussing it very differently, and to my point of view i think what being described in this video is almost at least 20 years earlier, seems like what people born in 80s or even further would even do, to be honest i would go crazy if i have to live with my parents, not to mention with my wife even kids. So actually new chinese generation do not do these things, and we hate it too, btw i was born in 2004 and i think this video might be a little subjective, even old chinese man dont that afraid of ac and they are not very much extrem patrotics in their generations, maybe different by regions, but in fact they are many of that generations think CN is shit and US is hell way better than CN so they hate to be chinese , well ,i think there are actually more similarities than differences between human but because of personal experience and language, this universal have always been blocked
wait why there are so much chinese under this video
Hello friend. What website in China did you find this video on? How can I find it?
@@chopsticksandtrains Search for '如果你想找个中国妻子，请先观看此内容（……稍后感谢我）老外分析' on Bilibili.
@@chopsticksandtrains Good question. There's no YT there I thought. Maybe it got copied and pasted?
The Chinese have an aversion to wind? That's absolute nonsense! I've lost count of the times I've wandered down streets with a Chinese auntie walking in front of me letting rip!
Fans give me a cold by morning and same with AC. The way I survive is by directing the air conditioning towards the ceiling or the parts of the floor just under the ac unit
the air condition bit....are they really this PETTY ? Us Americans LOVE our air condition!
they're idiots! They will also open the windows when they finally use the aircon
I have two Chinese coworkers. I'm certain they find me attractive - women can be laughably obvious when they're into you (are men this obvious???).
I'm considering hooking up with one but I'm wondering if it's likely she'll expect / want a relationship and ultimately be a massive complication rather than a fun casual thing.
Someone please weigh in... Oh and she's from Hong Kong for additional context. The other is from another city on the coast somewhat close to HK, forgot where though.
Prolly Guangzhou.
OH, I FORGOT. MY CHINESE WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN 50 YEARS MARRIED. We are the exception? Perhaps so. We certainly are a different generation, and the 21st century Chinese girl is now brainwashed to postpone marriage or not marry or if married her attitude is not the traditional one past Chinese women had. I KNOW IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE BUT CHINESE GIRLS YOU MUST RETURN TO BE THE TRADITIONAL WOMAN! To be Traditional is now not popular. PLEASE BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL BE VERY SORRY IF YOU FIND YOU ARE 50 YEARS OLD AND NOT MARRIED, PERHAPS HAVE NO CHILDREN! You do not care now because you are young and possibly are living not exactly good lives. And you will be 50 FASTER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE! FREE YOURSELVES FROM YOUR ENSLAVEMENT! NO, YOU ARE NOT FREE! MARRY AND BE A GOOD WIFE!!!
I guess I got lucky with my Chinese wife. None of these problems at all. Well her sisters will come over for Chinese New Years, but why is that a bad thing? She took to American life like a duck to water. She grew up in Hong Kong, maybe that had something to do with it. She started several businesses in her life, with varying results. She gets along well with others, knows a ton of people.
Super! Glad it worked out for you - and yes, the fact that she's from Hong Kong definitely had something to do with it.
To some degree,Hong Kong is not China. seriously. hongkonger different from mainland Chinese
@@鲁巴肖夫 I have a completely different outlook on Hong Kong. From my experience, their behavior is much worse than mainlanders. In general, mainland Chinese are actually pretty respectful to others but are kind of socially clueless and have stubborn, traditional views that often cause misunderstandings. In contrast, most Hong Kongers I have met have a polite facade but are actually deeply selfish and extremely ruthless, pushy people. I work in a job where I've had many Hong Kong clients, and many of the absolute worst clients I've ever dealt with are Hong Kongers...
Oh no I must be Chinese! I don’t like direct air flow from fans either. And I had a doctor tell me once direct wind from fan when sleeping can cause body pain.
It can... but, that's due to getting overly cool due to the fan hitting you constantly in one spot. Get it oscillating and it shouldn't be an issue. Also, if you're in a hot place and use a fan, you need it to stay cool - it wouldn't get you cold enough to cause any aches or pains. Chinese generally don't think deeply about it though - they just think "Wind hits body = BAD... PAIN!" lol
@@chopsticksandtrains They seem kind of dumb about it to be frank.
@@Bob31415 Their critical thinking skills are generally very, very poor.
that is true, especially if the air is cold, I slept just one night under the aircon blowing directly at me, the following morning, I got a pain deep within my elbow, the side that face the aircon. I tried everything to get rid of it to no avail, after many months, an old lady using old Chinese bone massage therapy with heat lamp and stinging herbal oil finally got rid of it. it hurt like hell when she was doing it. what a pain in the ar*se, never will allow direct wind on me when I sleep.
點讚❤my dog said if I don’t give you a thumbs up she’s be soiling my bed the whole night !!
Fan disease?never heard of it!AC disease? My mom generation do doubtful with it at the beginning of use it.
I think your content is rather extreme, and most of what you're describing is likely to be the case for people in their forties or fifties and older.
If you come to China on a western holiday such as Christmas or Valentine's Day etc you will find holiday propaganda and decorations everywhere, in fact there have been many travel youtubers confirming this, only older people have no interest or knowledge of these holidays.
There are many speciality restaurants from various countries in most cities in China, I can't agree that Chinese people don't accept foreign food, in fact every western fast food or catering brand in China will expand their menu to prevent a single dish due to the high number of customers. Cheese alone is something that all nomads in China make and it is a speciality of the nomadic regions of Inner Mongolia or Xinjiang or Tibet. And it's the elderly who don't like Western food because they think it's high in calories and unhealthy.
About ‘shou feng’ is a Chinese medicine say, here I will not expand, I am not an expert in Chinese medicine, interested in you can find relevant information. As for the air-conditioning disease, it is also the idea of middle-aged and old people over 40 years old. To sum up I am curious what age group of Chinese people you are in contact with.
And as for politics your comments are typical of being influenced by false reports from the west, Chinese people have never felt that their own country's politics is the best and have never wanted to force other countries to accept China's political system, we just want to mind our own business and we don't have a colony. And the reason why you think Chinese people are brainwashed since childhood I think firstly it is guided by western media, secondly Chinese patriotic education never degrade other countries political system, who is good and who is bad is up to you to judge. Chinese people are just relatively united because of their millennia old culture. And it's a coping mechanism against western colour revolutions, I think everyone knows what has happened behind the scenes in those divided countries: guiding public opinion to create anti-government sentiments among the populace-supporting anti-government organisations-overthrowing the existing government to set up puppet regimes (or splitting the country up and occupying the divided parts to set up new colonies). I think it's necessary to teach children to be wary of infiltration by colour revolutions, and if you think that's called brainwashing, then I can only wish your country the next USSR, Yugoslavia, Serbia, Korea and Ukraine.
It's funny, I've heard a lot of talk about ‘brainwashing education’ in China. But it sounds more like the Western governments are angry and cursing because they can't infiltrate the Chinese with separatism due to their unity. American children grow up surrounded by a ‘free and happy education’, where teachers don't teach their students knowledge, but only LGBT. they do what they want, have no respect for the classroom, and even high school students are as stupid as kindergarteners.
The US is making kids and teenagers into such dumbasses who are all about sex and fun and no learning at all, so that they can grow up to be puppet voting machines that can be more easily controlled by the government. Isn't this more like brainwashing? But anyone who has ever met a Chinese child knows that Chinese children are surrounded by learning from kindergarten onwards, where children learn maths, a second language and develop hobbies in the arts or sports. Families with no money divert all their efforts to their children's school subjects (language, maths, geography, history, biology, chemistry, physics, politics, etc. are the basic subjects for Chinese students) which are overly strict but better than becoming stupid.
If you think that the American ‘free and happy education’ is the real education, and Chinese children who love to learn are being ‘brainwashed’. Then I wish your children to be as ‘free’ as American children. (It's interesting to see that American schools are full of Asian kids in subject competitions and blacks on the sports field. maybe those noble white kids are enjoying their freedom.)
Your comment is mostly factually wrong and I disagree with pretty much everything you said, but thanks for watching. :)
@@chopsticksandtrains
Another self righteous guy. Well, you know more about China than the Chinese, who tell the truth = brainwashed. White people making rumors = objective. If you are telling the truth then please show proof. You said Chinese don't celebrate foreign festivals, all the content from youtubers who traveled to China proves you are lying.
@@chopsticksandtrains Probably written by a CCP apparatchik.
@@Bob31415 Your comment just proves what this person said
Common tactic.
Thank you very much, I find the video very interesting and most of the points plausible. However, I can confirm less and less that people in the West are used to competition between different opinions and cultures.
In Germany at least, you only hear negative things about countries outside the West in the media. As a result, people in Germany are increasingly disinformed about the world beyond the West. For the most part, they still expect China to have the same standard of living as under Mao, supplemented by horror stories about poor Chinese slaves who have to assemble iPhones in huge factories for a pittance. All Chinese products are said to be copies of Western engineering.
I myself was blown away when modern translation software enabled me to get my own picture of China on international websites. In Germany, the USA used to be regarded as the "land of limitless possibilities", but for me this is now China, or at least will soon be.
It's no different when it comes to Russia, except that the disinformation here is still mixed with the old Russophobia from the Nazi era. On the one hand, a picture is painted of Russia as if everyone there lived in a gulag with a standard of living similar to that under Yeltsin, while on the other hand fears are stirred up that Russia is extremely strong militarily and wants to conquer half of Europe. Yet the Russian defense budget of less than 70 billion US dollars contrasts with a total NATO budget of 1200 billion US dollars.
In any case, I have an unprejudiced interest in and sympathy for both China and Russia. In my opinion, the West has still not managed to realize that the era of colonial powers has come to an end. We need to treat each other with respect and as equals. Asia and the Global South can do this, the West still has a lot to learn in this aspect.
Hey Rolf. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and perspectives. The West AND the East have a lot to learn.
Hier ist fuer mich eine Chance als Amerikaner mein Deutsch zu benutzen. Ich werde ohne Google Transate versuchen. Leider, habe ich noch ein kleiner Vokabeln. Ich glaube, die Regierung Russlands sehr uebel zu sein. Die Meistens der Leute aber nicht. Die Laender des Westens nach meiner Meinung muessen zusammen gegen Russland kaempfen. Ja, wir muessen alle Respekt haben aber ich zweifele dass Colonialismus (?) heute noch steht.
I always noticed that air conditioners somehow weaken my body. So they have a point.
I'm from a colder European country and I always get very sick and a severe cold when I encounter hot Asian countries and all the the buildings having the AC running on low temperature settings. So there's actually some truth in AC sickness.
What I never understood was that those fat, overweight Americans need to turn on the AC at full power at the first warm day of the year.
Haha, it's not only 'fat, overweight Americans' that do that... 🤪🤦♂️
You say you get sick with the A/C running on low temperature settings? That's *not* what the Chinese in this video describe as A/C sickness.
Dude I’m Latino and all those things you said are part of Latin culture. The fan is actually true, I tend to get sick whenever I have a fan blowing into my face, but when I aim it at my body I tend to it to get sick.
Latinos tend to be very family oriented and we tend to stick with our parents very close to each other, so literally there is no difference while I know you Americans tend to kick your kids out of the house at 18 and bad mouth your parents.
I like Chinese food but the Asian girls I have met tend to like Spanish music and have even been keen to taste Latin food, so I have no idea what you are talking there. Yes they are Chinese and they have a right to be proud of their country. I think you are projecting the American expectation on a family oriented culture.
If you get sick from the wind of a fan hitting your body, I'd suggest that you might want to look into researching and taking measures to boost your immune system. You shouldn't get sick from air gently touching your body. LOL
The "Asian girls" you met? There are lots of countries in Asia... I'm only discussing MAINLAND CHINESE here.
Americans kick our kids out of the house and we bad mouth our parents? OK, now I think you're just trolling me. Weird comment in so many ways - couldn't disagree with you more. I honestly think you are Chinese. Based on your comment, I highly doubt you are Latino.
The thing about fans though is it's actually a really bad idea to have a fan blowing at your face in a cramped office. I did that for a little while and I got pretty bad pneumonia, likely because the fan was blowing my colleagues' germs right down my wind pipe. The thing is, I understand that I was infected by a virus and not "wind." The air conditioner fear is complete nonsense though. @@chopsticksandtrains
@@chopsticksandtrains As an American guy with a Chinese wife, I also find this guy's comment highly offensive. This guy is trolling!
@@eslnoob191 🍻 Cheers!
Yes Indeed...
MGTOW
hehe.. MGTOW - never heard that one before. Just Googled it. :p
@@chopsticksandtrains
Dan & I did a video on the topic
You're very very opinionated.
I'm opinionated on things I know a lot about (which is normal).