I am not a councilor and this would require to know much more but what I have learnt is that you should do what is good for you. Your 17 yo is going through this and that is unfortunate but you should seriously think of your happiness. Staying in limbo is not good for anyone and begging will never help you to get the result you want. Limerence is an horrible feeling of helplessness but if your spouse lives with her LO I dont know if she can be limerent but Fenna will know. You are in a good hand here. I wish you the Best and be strong
Fenna, Do you know where the hope comes from in limerence? Oddly enough, I am a pessimistic person & have no hope in general. I'm stoic overall. It's so ironic, but there is a split: half hopes, half lives in despair in limerence & it goes round & round....
Because if we get a lot of dopamine from something, this gets hardwired in the brain and we are programmed to pursue it. Not only because the brain remembers but also the brain predicts that if we pursue it we can have it again in the future.
@@followingfenna TY Fenna❣️ I have to remind myself that it's just the dopamine making a dope of me 🤣. Wonder why the pain doesn't turn it off...like the way we learn to stay away from fire after we get burned ...
I have been married now for 20 years and my wife developed limerence for a guy 20 years older . She moved out of our family home 7 mths ago to be with her LO. I have tried to snap her out of it but l have had no success. We still communicate, and l mentioned limerence to her, but she tells me that even if she was not with LO that she would not come back to me. She was vulnerable when she allowed this person into her life. Should l give up ? My youngest child is 17.
I definitely would give up, if giving up means focus on yourself and your hapiness without her. She even states that she rather be alone. There is not much you can do than move on and maybe she will come back, maybe not, you can't wait for that. Good luck to you!
Thankyou Fenna for your response. You have helped me with my indecision. I have decided to move on, as l know that my marriage and relationship would never be the same again. @@followingfenna
For my help in your limerence www.followingfenna.com
"We are Juliette with a crack pipe." - Fenna, you're hilarious!
I actually laughed out loud 😅
Haha it's true :)
LO is my unhappiness. Thank you Fenna.
Thanks Fenna. Your videos provide strength and knowledge needed to fight this demon.
Awesome channel, and sound advice. Cheers Fenna.
Ode To LO
You are light at the end of the tunnel
You are the hope that springs eternal
You are the one that sparks my joy
❤❤❤️🩹
❤️ 💙 💜
So good to see you this morning Fenna ❤️
Thank you Gwen, that is so nice !
This wakes me up :)
I certainly hope so 🙏
Fenna another powerful video thank you !
@@Kittsmitts thank you Langkit
Good stern talk! Great video! Xx
@louisag2086 thank you Louisag 😊
I am not a councilor and this would require to know much more but what I have learnt is that you should do what is good for you. Your 17 yo is going through this and that is unfortunate but you should seriously think of your happiness. Staying in limbo is not good for anyone and begging will never help you to get the result you want. Limerence is an horrible feeling of helplessness but if your spouse lives with her LO I dont know if she can be limerent but Fenna will know. You are in a good hand here. I wish you the Best and be strong
My ex does not live with LO. Also thanks for your kind words.
It would be nice to be with someone who wants to be with you, as much as you want to be with them.
All you get from them is how much they love you but one excuse after another for why they can't be with you....They've got a lot to learn themselves.
And kind of normal :)
That's an avoidant alright.
Thank you.
You are very welcome
Fenna, Do you know where the hope comes from in limerence? Oddly enough, I am a pessimistic person & have no hope in general. I'm stoic overall. It's so ironic, but there is a split: half hopes, half lives in despair in limerence & it goes round & round....
Because if we get a lot of dopamine from something, this gets hardwired in the brain and we are programmed to pursue it. Not only because the brain remembers but also the brain predicts that if we pursue it we can have it again in the future.
@@followingfenna TY Fenna❣️ I have to remind myself that it's just the dopamine making a dope of me 🤣. Wonder why the pain doesn't turn it off...like the way we learn to stay away from fire after we get burned ...
I have been married now for 20 years and my wife developed limerence for a guy 20 years older . She moved out of our family home 7 mths ago to be with her LO. I have tried to snap her out of it but l have had no success. We still communicate, and l mentioned limerence to her, but she tells me that even if she was not with LO that she would not come back to me. She was vulnerable when she allowed this person into her life. Should l give up ? My youngest child is 17.
Personally I would only because she involved another guy already and that would gross me out too much...Your child is also very almost an adult.
I definitely would give up, if giving up means focus on yourself and your hapiness without her.
She even states that she rather be alone.
There is not much you can do than move on and maybe she will come back, maybe not, you can't wait for that. Good luck to you!
Thankyou Fenna for your response. You have helped me with my indecision. I have decided to move on, as l know that my marriage and relationship would never be the same again. @@followingfenna