Hahaha I remember first reading in your book how it completely freaked you out not having anxieties because you had nothing to fuel you/no purpose. And I was like "no way, I'd love for that to happen to me, what's he talking about." And then it happened. And I was like "oohhhh." Great video! The wilderness is exciting
Mark, I can't express how much my life has changed because of you and your videos, your book, and your free acceptance field guide. I had to unsubscribe and stay unsubscribed as watching them had become an extreme compulsion. I do come back now time to time just to see what I have missed. You've been a part of my journey for 6 years now. Recovery is possible! Your content is Gold, as is your methodology. Thank you so much for all of this.
Thank you! That's great to hear it's been useful and you've been applying these skills on your journey. It's also great you saw you didn't need to keep watching these videos. Enjoy the steps ahead!
I definitely just experienced the bit where you mentioned the nervous system has to catch up to where you are with recovery. My brain sent me the old thought I used to struggle with, and lately, I’ve not been engaging with them at all which has been exponential in my recovery, although symptoms of panic started to rise. I accepted and allowed, and it died down, like it always does, but I found it strange because I don’t engage with the thought anymore. It’s more of an after thought at this point.
Wow! This is absolutely something that no one talks about and something I've been struggling with and felt very weird or just confused? I didn't know how to express it and I felt a little guilty for even feeling these things. Thank you so much for putting this video out and using the analogies that you used. I don't want to hype you up too much but I don't think you're getting the recognition that you deserve because this content is life-saving and it's free. You're doing this because you care ..that's obvious... Thank you so so much and please keep putting content out if you want to. You are helping a lot of us very silent and shy suffers🧡🙈✨
I just graduated from college yesterday and I wanted to thank you, Mark, for your book and the insights that you’ve shared. Instead of giving up, I chose to challenge myself by living on my own and completing college a year early. It was hard but I’m proud of where I’m at now in my mental fitness and I want to acknowledge that it all started with the courage your book fueled within me last year. Thank you for everything you do to serve others.
Congratulations on graduating! 🥳🎓😁🙌 A book can be a useful tool, but without the action to build with it, a book is just a neat bunch of pages. Really celebrate yourself here. You saw how to pick up that tool and grow amazing things with it. Enjoy the adventures ahead!
Accepting the purposelessness of life, which is hard, but also liberating. It helps in the end because we want aims out of fear of death; and we never acknowledge that even a cosmic aim is ultimately purposeless
Wow what an ending for the series. I remember how hard ir was for me accepting that recovery is not perfect and clean. I am not yet there, but I can already imagine hoe scary having nothing to fix is. I will share my experience if I am that far in life one day :D Thanks for the support Mark. I really pulled myself out from a huge pond full of mud thanks to your videos and books
Thanks for following along with the series, Roman. Please do share about your experiences on the adventure. I'm glad the videos and books have been helpful!
Many Psychologists don't tell You exactly why You are experiencing many things when You only have as they say one problem, they only listen and give the medication considering that it will fix it You. They don't tell You emptiness can cause this problem, or tell You to change your lifestyle, You alone learn from your own experience on mental issues that it changes from one to another, that anxiousness is connected to OCD, all connected to social insecurities, that OCD thoughts change from one to another, everything is connected because simply it's in your mind, Beautiful and strong people like You dear Mark who can understand and address the things at its place, I remember when I told my psychiatrist that my awareness can be an enemy, he didn't really understand. When You are already an aware person and when the illness has a name for You, You became more afraid that You will do these bad things, your mind will keep wandering, will keep thinking weird stuff, the trick is to understand this doesn't define You, and this is not true. these horrible thoughts are not You, to remember You are not alone, this illness doesn't mean that You are weak, it can mean the opposite, that You are really strong. On another hand, spiritual people has more struggles in this, psychiatrist won't really understand about energy, energy draining and energy obsorbing... etc... Sorry if I talked a lot Mark, just wanted to share some thoughts on my experience, Thank You so much for all your hard work, determination, care and kindness. With respect, kindness, courage and Love, Ghounwah 💗
Thank you for sharing, Ghounwah. It is great that we can talk any these experiences and gain better understanding and share that understanding with more people especially in the mental health communities and services
Thank you for all the generousity, the wisdom and the deep sense of possibility that you’ve shared now theres hope breathing within me like an embrio, subtle and shapeless and yet very much alive.
The part about being ok with doing compulsions sometimes really resonated with me. Sometimes I still ruminate and even though it's not the best use of my time, that's ok. I become aware of it and actively try to do something else. Whereas there was a point where trying to stop ruminating basically became a compulsion. Like if I can't stop ruminating, i'll always have OCD and I'll never be happy. I was terrified of it and if I did it I felt like a failure.
Thanks for putting this into words. This is where I've been stuck. I don't have any physical compulsions that I'm aware of, and have been told it's all rumination/checking/etc... Then I get dead set on stopping doing this mental stuff that I'm not often aware of, and when I can't stop it I feel like I'm absolutely stuck and will always be miserable. Like the compulsion is trying to stop compulsions. So confusing.
There's such a dearth of information on this topic. It is amazing and fascinating how hard the brain works to get us back into compulsions. The impulse to avoid/control/change feelings is SO STRONG. 4 years into my recovery journey and I am reading though your book a second time. Not as a compulsion, but because I know there's a lot of depth there I didn't have the emotional bandwidth to understand the first time around. And wow, so many new layers of wisdom have been revealed! Thank you for that and for all that you do. Your integrity for truly wanting to help others (vs maximizing advertising dollars) does not go unnoticed!
Thank you for the kind words and the support, Lea! I'm glad you're finding new layers in the book as you work through it again. I still explore exercises from it personally all of the time when I'm doing new things in life. I think they are like tools in a toolbox. Maybe we get the tools the first time when something breaks around the house. But then we discover all of the things we can build with those tools. We might use them for some repairs again in the future, but the exciting things we can build and craft are so much more, and there is no limit to the layers and levels of crafting and growth. Enjoy!
Thankyou so much Mark! Your videos have helped me so much in my joirney with existential OCD. I am currently on a relapse after 2 years of being OCD free! It sucks, but hey, ive gotten over it once and i sure can do it again(this time i wont neglect my mental fitness training 😅) i hope you know how much of a positive impact you have made on my life. To anyone reading this comment, it will be okay. No matter how horrible it feels right now, it will get better. Love from India.❤
Thank you for the donation, Aarya! I appreciate the support. I'm glad the videos have been helpful on your journey. I hope they continue to be a support on the next steps!
I love you man. Im dealing with bdd from age 15 and i tried my luck in age 18 - 19 after self dignosis and back than for some reason (now i know but i had a gut feeling ) they gave me the wrong diagnosis beacuse i didnt came from a family with alot resources and money and basicly immigrent style family witch doesn't undertstood back in the day (and still learning ) the subject of mental health i did it alone and i was a victim of bad service. in the age of 18 - 19 in the public health care and they gave me bs treatment and therapy witch was cut short eventually and sent me to life to earn more problems and trumas im dealing with today but now at the age of 29 im curentlly getting the full help that i need getting to know finaly what was really dealing with and it called bdd with alot of tools and knowlege and im still recovering thanks god and remember its started in the age of 15 its never to late to take care of yourself and dont ever give up onyourself this is a journey and you will allways find new things. therapy i belive is a life thing we will allways need therapy in our life. Im sorry for my english im from israel and i just want to say you are a bllesing man. Thank you !
It's so annoying i think i'm finally free of OCD and boom one day i wake up i have the worst anxiety and compulsions... anyways thanks mark for these videos can't Stress how much they help me!
It helped me to see that mental health and fitness skills are for handling challenges. They're about having any feeling, like anxiety, and then not doing those compulsions.
Great video. I think it shows that WHY is more important than WHAT. Everything can be done as a unhealthy compulsion. Unhealthy way of judging and avoiding unhealthy compulsions is still an unhealthy activity.
I really feel grateful on bumping into your channel, what you address resonates so well. Like also that how well it's structured and going into different places most RUclipsrs stay in one place in a room and for me I noticed how it can become claustrophobic especially I started this road to recovery since 3 years ago almost and it's been 1 year since I found a therapist I feel the effects of the work and believe me it's constant uncertainty and challenges just as you described. Thank you thank you❤
This is so crazy! I was about to post a comment yesterday to you about this exact topic and if you could cover it one day -- and it's already here?! Not even 24 hours later. I got really lucky lol.
Excellent video, Mark! Thank you for helping us navigate the wilderness of recovery! I consider myself “recovered” because I am doing everything I’m wanting to do in life. I got on my horse for yesterday and didn’t think twice about it. That was the first time I got on without being afraid I was going to fall and break my neck! That’s just one layer of my onion. I’m working through the other deeper stickier layers, but not putting life on hold to do it! If you’re afraid to do something today, go do it! Even if it’s just today! I used to be terrified to stay home alone. Now I’m doing it constantly and not even thinking about it. But In order for me to not be afraid anymore- I had to do it afraid. ALOT! And it was worth it!!! Keep up the great work!
this video is perfect. Every point hits home with me. Thanks for summarizing so many insights. I love the analogy of learning to drive the out of control truck. That's really what it feels like.
I was trying to do ERP using the old engine. I guess that is why I had very limited success with ERP. I has been years since I saw one of your videos for the first time and I am still learning something new. Thank you.
Mark, this video really meets me where I am right now in a lot of ways. As the onion peels back I’m running into “new” old problems. The part about building a new engine really hit home for me. I’ve been talking to my partner a lot about not being so fueled by shame and feeling less motivated now. It’s like the parts of myself that want to go out and LIVE life have been scared or on vacation since I was a kid while the parts that were scared of living life were running the show. Your content had been really helpful and validating since I was diagnosed with sensorimotor ocd last year. Thanks for what you are doing. This really helped me see in many ways that I’m on the path.
How do I engage with my thoughts Like I have completely stopped reacting to any thoughts so should I engage with thoughts which are useful?? And your videos have helped me a lot Thank you mark
I developed throbbing in my left elbow, phantom drooling all on the left side of me while having ocd and recovering from it too, but somehow felt it was part of the ocd and decided to not make another obsession out of it. Very important video, post recovery therapy should be a topic too!
Yes, there's a whole set of interesting experiences and supports to explore AFTER the initial symptoms are dealt with and gone. It's great you picked up on that!
I watched this video a few months ago but I think now I really WATCHED it because I have been on this recovery journey for a year and always wondering why my anxiety is still high and why old cumpolsions come up when I stopped doing them for so long but now thanks to you I realize it’s okay to not do the right thing because there isn’t a right thing to do and anxiety isn’t a bad thing and I can either have it or not without it ruining anything.
Indeed! Anxiety is one of those totally natural experiences we can have, or not have. The brain can do whatever it wants and we can take it along for the ride!
Ive been struggling with mental illness since years now. I dont know i went to dschinns storys to understand it more (Somehow i think its that) cause today in the night till almost morning was crazy Stuff said but then again it can be my mental getting better. God i am in IV right now at the moment my grandmother said i should continue on with IV cause i broke my Feets and i deserve that Money but i dont know about that. I dont know what to say to my psychologist. Right now i am 100% back and feeling good. This is crazy.
When the onion metaphor instantly makes you think of Shrek.. But seriously Mark, thank you, for all you do and the community that you build and the lessons that you share. I’m super grateful for your guidance in just spending my time on things I value instead of compulsions that are just stickers on an elephant’s butt, just as useless or maybe just as time consuming that I would rather spend on cuddling the elephant.
What a great video! It gave me goosebumps and i was like "yes yes yes, exactly !" The scenes you added in between the video are amazing and they depicted everything so well (i thoughts you would erase the driver for depicting - Out of control truck 😂) do come to India for recording bunch of new scenes to add in your video!! Now coming to one thing i want to share about the important Exam i was screaming about -- i decided to trust myself and not rush for more material and make the most of what I'd prepared months back. I practiced only that stuff and some of it showed in the exam and i was excited that I was preparing according to the demands of the exam! Definitely, i didn't trust myself completely and left the questions which i knew the right answers to, also while i was preparing my brain was like "they wouldn't ask this" but they did!! So yes there's this sinking feeling after exploration that i could've trusted myself. Also i leaned into all the fears before exam and decided 3 valued actions i am going to do in exam, it helped me not to freak out like i am going to die (like the earlier times where i used to imagine that I'll be vomiting before the exam and based on true events that would've been true back then! So i am happy that i am in a much more stable position where i can also perform what i value!) --- yes sometimes this happiness feels - What if i am avoiding something bad..being ignorant of the PROBLEM IN ME..i am not supposed to be happy ..happiness is just an excuse to avoid problems in life..i am supposed to be worried etc etc -- glad to know that it's all a part of the journey! Also i had this All or nothing approach which worked against building skills - i asked this on discord aswell- i made certain changes which may help me build skills and learning to shift my focus towards building a sustainable system. Now i am really excited about exploring Trusting myself and knowing what i am doing is The direction(even if it's not- we'll see and make changes accordingly to where i end up) I am also excited about building more skills and experiencing more in my studies! I'll still freak out about new stuff i am trying to do in life but I'll handle it differently or correct it as soon as i get the awareness. Also thrilled about what else i am going to unfold through me and will have resilience for! I'll keep expanding.. this will make me cut more compulsions in other areas ..my heart sinks..but I'll ..thank you for all your support! 😌🙏🏻
Wow, had anxiety and ocd tendency for like 2 years but learned to float and kind of distract myself for a while and most times i was okay but would ruminate. With these kind of videos i realized that i wasnt fully "recovered" cuz i would a goid day when i wasnt feeling anxious or having ocd thoughts, with that mindset i still had anxious days but was good at "managing" it. Now fully accepting and not reacting to those thoughts, and really accepting and not avoiding ocd thoughts anymore i feel wayyyy different. Hahah i feel good honestly its okay if i get ocd thiughts again if its there or not. Seems like thats my error low key trying to avoid and distract myself, and realizing rumination is a compulsion. I literally watched this video without being attached. Its wild hiw really accepting and just living life changes things i gues im "recovering" haha sorry for the grammar😅
fantastic video, Mark's insights and openness, his approach to mental problems are at a rare high level, psychotherapists can learn a lot from this....
Another very helpful video, thank you so much! Where I am at right now, I do have less anxiety in general, or I don't get hung up on it as much. I'm now mostly dealing with false belief systems that came out of/fed my anxiety - they're pretty deeply rooted, but through positive action/interactions with others it has gotten better. I love what you said about trust, that it's not something you have before doing the things you want, but it is something you choose to give yourself through action - I am going to continue to work on that. Thanks again for sharing your knowledge with all of us 🙂
Hey Mark, i have a "unique" confusing i dont even know what to call it, but its a weird situation i got my self in, starting 2019 i had a very hard run in with anxiety after i took a medication "resperidone" the medication basically gave me a chemical lobotomy for 2 months, never had a clinical mental health issue before that i just wanted to get high off my sisters "adhd med" (yeah the psych gave my sister a anti psychotic to help her focus) skipping the details of that incident i developed a fear mainly towards not coping, i picked up smoking first to "feel energized" then it became a habit around just the head rush that felt so damn good, but to get to the point i had many obsessions, i feared hairloss, then cancer, then developing panic disorder becuase surely high levels of anxiety ment i had some defect that had to be solved, so i landed on panic disorder, which funnily enough obsessing over it gave me a panic attack and for about 2 weeks, i met the criteria for a clinical pd diagnosis, now in the past 2 months i have started a very noticeable spiral into the ocd label, first i got insomnia becuase i feared i could not sleep so began compulsively looking up solutions, then i got covid and oh fuck i may develop long covid, so i gotta smoke more and work out less (apparently nicotine reducess LC chances???) now my new topic of obsession is ocd, looking up every scholarly articale i can read a scientific jornal as if i was a scientist, looking up that sub reddit r/ocd, asking if i have ocd, surely not right? well thankfully i eventually noticed that yeah im plugging my self into a typical mental health crisis, and i need a way out, came across your channel and everything clicked, i picked up a liberated mind by steve hayes (who i used to compulsively listen to to convince my self i can be normal) dont anymore now im following what he teaches, im going to pick up your book after you definitely know what you are talking about; now as you can see i have plugged my self into ocd, ok so i am working my way out of it, i mainly have mental compulsions, thought says "hey you are developing ocd soon and you wont be able to cope" or "shit look you wont be able to sleep you'll have a hypnic jerk and a panic attack" i would respond almost automatically out of my awareness to a degree to these thoughts saying "nah wont happen" xyz doesnt matter what matters is the fact i responded to a random neuron firing in my head, when ever i notice the compulsion, it goes away, sometimes i notice it as soon as it starts, it instantly stops, intrusive thought is also gone, now a new thought comes in, "whenever you are noticing your inner dialogue and stopping it, you are doing a compulsion" look i get that its a thought but is this true? do i live my life basically noticing my inenr dialogue which almost always stops it in its track heck sometimes this self soothing dialouge happens outside the context of a intrusive thought, what exactly do i do? its been disrupting my sleep whenever i sleep my mind wanders, and i automatically notice it wandering which stops it, which i feel disrupts my sleep abruptly, makes me anxious to, where do i go from here?
This does sound very standard and normal. Judging it as "unique" is a very common compulsion I like to call "differencing". It is not different. In fact, it could really help to see that the patterns you're describing are the exact same as any contamination compulsion. But you're just trying to figure out if you're thinking in a "clean" way or not. It's very normal that people start judging compulsions as a contamination to clean away and then get caught up in the same chase for control and certainty that only creates more anxiety and uncertainty. It could also be useful to not get stuck on the idea of having mostly mental compulsions. You listed a lot of things I would see as physical compulsions if I was doing them. So there are many opportunities to change actions, like giving more time to doing the actions you want to be doing and growing in life. We can grow the things we want to do in life while having any brain stuff. I do the actions I want to do and the brain is welcome to do whatever it wants to do.
Brilliant. I remember taking those electric stairs in the Umeda Sky Building back in 2005. The view from the rooftop is amaizing. Thank you for the brilliant video. In my recovery I think body pains and migraine have been very difficult challenges after not caring about intrusive thoughts, also learning to put boundaries to difficult family members or friends which were pushing me back to lots of struggles has been another challenge. Saludos.
Navigating those real physical discomforts, and navigating the relationships around as we make changes, are definitely two of the most common challenges at that point in the adventure. I wish you much lightness and ease as you set those boundaries!
Is there something specific you're looking for? Many of these videos are skills I would/do share with clients that have had experiences with narcissistic parents.
Thank you mark ! And ur welcome too ;) mark what is the role of medication in recovery ? EVRYTIME I have tried weaning off , there's a relapse. But at the same time , the relapse happens when there is a challenging situation! That's very interesting to note. So i can't tell what came before- the chicken or the egg. What is your take on that? Again, thank you!
Notice how you're describing a relapse in your comment as a passive thing you experience: "...there's a relapse... the relapse happens..." Maybe we have different definitions of relapse. I would define a relapse as me choosing to do old avoiding and controlling compulsions around experiences I'm judging and hating on. It's a thing I do. What does "relapse" mean to you?
Hello!! Is ANGER/RAGE a part of the recovery process? When I was super anxious, felt a thousand physical symptoms, I was always fearful. Now that I am no longer fearful, I FEEL INTENSE ANGER that I didn't feel before
It's very common to go on a journey of exploring many emotions. And it helped me to see my brain would search for compulsions with whatever would get me into compulsions. I found it useful to see anger and rage in the context of me trying to control.
I feel like I've cut out most compulsions. I'm not trying to figure out things the way I used to. I've accepted that life is uncertain. But I now feel depressed. I feel really, really sad. Like I'll never know the answers to my ocd questions but they could come up at some point and I have to deal with them. I feel jealous of people who seem to be certain of their past and that they are good people and they'd never do anything horrible. I also feel jealous of people who can accept that life will end some day and they can find meaning and joy. I did a lot of work to bring my compulsions down but now I'm at this weird point where I feel like I'm driving a car around town and it has no seatbelts or doors. I feel like I can't be happy without the seatbelts or doors on it. Otherwise, I could fall out any second. Who would help me if I fell out? Would people look at me like I'm awful because clearly I should've put some doors on it. What if I bring someone with me in this car with missing doors (i.e. marriage or friendship) and suddenly we get hurt while driving because I didn't make sure they were strapped in and get doors put on the car?
The first few phrases of the comment (about accepting uncertainty and not doing compulsions) seemed to be contradicted by the rest of the comment, which was all about listing out uncertainties you dislike and the compulsions to get certainty and control around them. It does sound like you're seeing the uncertainties and challenges that were maybe always under the other stuff. It can be terrifying to touch that stuff. I often describe it as driving an out-of-control truck with no doors or seatbelts. But it was so useful for me to explore getting skilled at driving that truck.
@@everybodyhasabrain I really don't want to drive the truck :( It's terrifying. I know there's no other way around life and I have to. For example, doing the compulsions get me no where. So this is my only choice. How do you accept that you could have forgotten something you did in the past (false memory) or that you may hurt your loved ones (hocd), etc. I feel irresponsible driving the truck and like a fraud and like I don't deserve to even drive it.
@sophiavirdi6909 the questions you're asking there are very classic OCD compulsion questions, like: "How do you accept that your hands aren't clean and you might spread germs?!" This is the basic stuff to explore. But also, it does sound like you want to learn how to drive this truck, or you wouldn't be here asking about it. At first, it's always very normal to be scared by cutting out compulsions when we're getting started on learning new skills. But learning to drive that truck can take us so many places we want to go in life!
Hi Mark. When you recover from chronic OCD/anxiety/panic/DP/DR/insomnia, is there an absence of lingering anxiety and disturbing thoughts, while mainly feeling anxiety in the proper context, or does the anxiety get kind of better while the anxiety and thoughts are still there but just don't bother you anymore?
I don't know what some of these terms mean to you. It also seems to be focused on getting rid of things instead of all of the things that are totally different and better. It's like asking if somebody who loves baking doesn't burn things anymore. There are way more delicious things to savor than just "I don't taste burnt cookies anymore". The absence of a burnt cookie doesn't mean the presence of a delicious cookie, so don't limit yourself with exploring mental health and only focus on a goal like getting rid of some anxiety or thoughts or burnt cookies. There's much more to build and grow. Of course some unhelpful baking techniques get subtracted. But what are you going to add? That's the stuff to ask about.
@@ChannelHandler88 No. Now that I know how to bake, why would I burn the cookies? But I wouldn't see the lack of burning as a defining element. I don't wake up every day and define my day by the absence of a thought or feeling. I don't have intrusive thoughts anymore but I also didn't hit myself in the face with a frying pan when I woke up this morning. There are much more interesting things to experience!
@@everybodyhasabrain Oh okay, gotcha. Thanks for the reply. I know another psychologist that says OCD results from dysregulating emotions and avoiding anxiety so it would make sense that "learning to bake" alleviates OCD, because the OCD isn't really problem.
@@ChannelHandler88 Yes, it helped me to approach it as a thing I do/did. So once we learn how to do things differently, I'd have to choose to go back to doing the old way of things (burning the cookies)
Hey mark, i have watching this series religiously. However i have a question here, there are days when i feel no anxiety because of my thoughts, the same thoughts that used to kill me mentally, don’t bother me at all sometimes. Then these days turn into weeks, i feel like these thoughts have no power over me. This may sound stupid but, All this time, I don’t why but i keep worrying about the fact that i’m not having any anxiety lol. This is very unusual for me. And it just bothers me because i feel like in order to recover completely, you have to go through a tough periods of anxiety and panic attacks and you have to face them. When i’m not having any anxiety, i feel like i’m just distracting myself and this process is hindering my recovery journey. Because after those days end, i usually get my anxiety attacks back ( not always tho )
@Nobody I didn't see a question in there. And the fact that we won't be scared anymore, and that's one of the scariest things, is in this video. It's one of the 10 things.
@@everybodyhasabrainmaybe i should have phrased it in a better way. It’s just that i have experienced this before aswell. Months passed by and i had no anxiety at all. Then out of nowhere, the anxiety and thoughts returned. Now i have not been experiencing any anxiety from many weeks. What should i do in this time so that i don’t have to go through the same cycle again?
@Nobody But like I mentioned in the video, the challenge with this is that we go back to doing compulsions. And it sounds like you're still judging the presence or absence of a feeling and reacting to the fear of experiencing anxiety. Thoughts never do anything to us. It's us doing things to them. It doesn't matter if the thoughts are there or not. But if we do checking and controlling around them, then we create issues. So if you don't want to create issues with thoughts again (or feelings), then I'd look at not doing checking and controlling around thoughts/ feelings. They can be there. Or not. It has nothing to do with what we want to create and build in the world
Marc is it a compulsion that I prefer spending most of my day out of the house beacause it helps a lot not to ruminate? Sometimes I do prefer reading a book or spend time relaxing at home with good music but I know that it’s not going to work due to my minds “noise”!
Ruminating is something we do. Of course there might be supports we find useful when we're first cutting out compulsions. When I was first cutting out compulsions I would often do at home, I purposefully scheduled in things to do each night of the week for a week. But then I started to purposefully practice being at home and not doing the compulsions. Rather than searching to label things as a compulsion or not, I find it more useful to look at what skills I want to learn. I wanted to learn how to be at home and enjoy being at home and not do compulsions there. If that's a skill you want to learn, you can. There's no requirement to do that, though.
@ the thing is I currently avoid staying at home although it used to be my happy place once! I started connecting home with being unsafe beacause my thoughts bother me more there
@athinameleti1738 Yes, so that's why it can be useful to learn how to cut out those compulsions. Thoughts don't do things to us. We do things to thoughts. It helped to see that home was difficult because I was doing compulsions. The thoughts were not the problem.
I’m having a bit of a relapse again. I’ll take it as it is. But it was good hearing about the onion because I always look at things black and white. I thought it was one compulsion, judging and belief and when you expose yourself and not do the compulsion, that the compulsion over with but there’s many more compulsion after that trying to get me back to the original compulsion but I keep denying it because it wasn’t pointing out to me. I always play stupid, idk why. But alot of mental health sources do focus on ridding and managing anxiety, you said they have there place but are they actually helpful if it just enforces uncertainty
There's nothing wrong with uncertainty. I approach mental health and fitness as learning how to have experiences, not get rid of them. OCD is all about trying to control and avoid experiences like uncertainty and anxiety. So I wouldn't pursue those as some sort of goals. Of course that would only create more struggling
@@everybodyhasabrain Am I overcomplicating it for myself? Like I know what I have to do. Expose, Acceptance and shift my energy to what I value, adding rather than subtracting. But then there be what ifs or wanting to understand why ocd works this way and am I doing it right? Why did this person say this things and what does it mean? but this person said another thing. There’s many therapy techniques, some about getting rid some about embracing, who right?. Let me go watch this video again to confirm I’m understanding this right This is not what I love, this is not making me happy, yet I put it all at high importance when I could just stop placing my energy in.
My teacher of Drama always says "Do to believe, not believe to do" You dont need to find a some especial random emotion to take action, in drama or real life.
Hahaha I remember first reading in your book how it completely freaked you out not having anxieties because you had nothing to fuel you/no purpose. And I was like "no way, I'd love for that to happen to me, what's he talking about."
And then it happened. And I was like "oohhhh."
Great video! The wilderness is exciting
It is whacky, right? Enjoy that wilderness! :)
Mark,
I can't express how much my life has changed because of you and your videos, your book, and your free acceptance field guide. I had to unsubscribe and stay unsubscribed as watching them had become an extreme compulsion. I do come back now time to time just to see what I have missed. You've been a part of my journey for 6 years now.
Recovery is possible!
Your content is Gold, as is your methodology.
Thank you so much for all of this.
Thank you! That's great to hear it's been useful and you've been applying these skills on your journey. It's also great you saw you didn't need to keep watching these videos. Enjoy the steps ahead!
I wish my nervous system weren't that nervous.
Then we'd have to think up a different name for it!
I definitely just experienced the bit where you mentioned the nervous system has to catch up to where you are with recovery.
My brain sent me the old thought I used to struggle with, and lately, I’ve not been engaging with them at all which has been exponential in my recovery, although symptoms of panic started to rise. I accepted and allowed, and it died down, like it always does, but I found it strange because I don’t engage with the thought anymore. It’s more of an after thought at this point.
Congratulations on welcoming those experiences, Scott!
"Happiness that doesn't depend on disaster." Thats beautiful 👏
It is a wonderful kind of happiness!
Wow! This is absolutely something that no one talks about and something I've been struggling with and felt very weird or just confused? I didn't know how to express it and I felt a little guilty for even feeling these things. Thank you so much for putting this video out and using the analogies that you used. I don't want to hype you up too much but I don't think you're getting the recognition that you deserve because this content is life-saving and it's free. You're doing this because you care ..that's obvious... Thank you so so much and please keep putting content out if you want to. You are helping a lot of us very silent and shy suffers🧡🙈✨
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement!
I just graduated from college yesterday and I wanted to thank you, Mark, for your book and the insights that you’ve shared. Instead of giving up, I chose to challenge myself by living on my own and completing college a year early. It was hard but I’m proud of where I’m at now in my mental fitness and I want to acknowledge that it all started with the courage your book fueled within me last year. Thank you for everything you do to serve others.
Congratulations on graduating! 🥳🎓😁🙌 A book can be a useful tool, but without the action to build with it, a book is just a neat bunch of pages. Really celebrate yourself here. You saw how to pick up that tool and grow amazing things with it. Enjoy the adventures ahead!
So true about the nervous system! This is so rarely talked about.
It's a great system but it takes time to learn new tricks
Accepting the purposelessness of life, which is hard, but also liberating. It helps in the end because we want aims out of fear of death; and we never acknowledge that even a cosmic aim is ultimately purposeless
I've never looked at a cloud and tried to label it as purposeful or purposeless.
Wow what an ending for the series. I remember how hard ir was for me accepting that recovery is not perfect and clean. I am not yet there, but I can already imagine hoe scary having nothing to fix is. I will share my experience if I am that far in life one day :D
Thanks for the support Mark. I really pulled myself out from a huge pond full of mud thanks to your videos and books
Thanks for following along with the series, Roman. Please do share about your experiences on the adventure. I'm glad the videos and books have been helpful!
Many Psychologists don't tell You exactly why You are experiencing many things when You only have as they say one problem, they only listen and give the medication considering that it will fix it You. They don't tell You emptiness can cause this problem, or tell You to change your lifestyle, You alone learn from your own experience on mental issues that it changes from one to another, that anxiousness is connected to OCD, all connected to social insecurities, that OCD thoughts change from one to another, everything is connected because simply it's in your mind, Beautiful and strong people like You dear Mark who can understand and address the things at its place, I remember when I told my psychiatrist that my awareness can be an enemy, he didn't really understand. When You are already an aware person and when the illness has a name for You, You became more afraid that You will do these bad things, your mind will keep wandering, will keep thinking weird stuff, the trick is to understand this doesn't define You, and this is not true. these horrible thoughts are not You, to remember You are not alone, this illness doesn't mean that You are weak, it can mean the opposite, that You are really strong. On another hand, spiritual people has more struggles in this, psychiatrist won't really understand about energy, energy draining and energy obsorbing... etc... Sorry if I talked a lot Mark, just wanted to share some thoughts on my experience, Thank You so much for all your hard work, determination, care and kindness. With respect, kindness, courage and Love, Ghounwah 💗
Thank you for sharing, Ghounwah. It is great that we can talk any these experiences and gain better understanding and share that understanding with more people especially in the mental health communities and services
@@everybodyhasabrain Thank You too dear Mark 🌺 Peace always 🕊️
Wow I think being more aware definitely has something to it as well. How are u now? I’m getting through it
@@theanonymoushelpline7248 Hi my friend 😊 I'm so good ⚡💪🧠 I hope You are doing well too 💕
Thank you for all the generousity, the wisdom and the deep sense of possibility that you’ve shared now theres hope breathing within me like an embrio, subtle and shapeless and yet very much alive.
:) Enjoy the steps ahead!
The part about being ok with doing compulsions sometimes really resonated with me. Sometimes I still ruminate and even though it's not the best use of my time, that's ok. I become aware of it and actively try to do something else. Whereas there was a point where trying to stop ruminating basically became a compulsion. Like if I can't stop ruminating, i'll always have OCD and I'll never be happy. I was terrified of it and if I did it I felt like a failure.
Yes, this is so useful and kind and skilful to see!
Thanks for putting this into words. This is where I've been stuck. I don't have any physical compulsions that I'm aware of, and have been told it's all rumination/checking/etc... Then I get dead set on stopping doing this mental stuff that I'm not often aware of, and when I can't stop it I feel like I'm absolutely stuck and will always be miserable. Like the compulsion is trying to stop compulsions. So confusing.
@@mikeandjessicaanderson4960 It's useful to see how we can turn any brain stuff into contamination to perfectly clean away
There's such a dearth of information on this topic. It is amazing and fascinating how hard the brain works to get us back into compulsions. The impulse to avoid/control/change feelings is SO STRONG. 4 years into my recovery journey and I am reading though your book a second time. Not as a compulsion, but because I know there's a lot of depth there I didn't have the emotional bandwidth to understand the first time around. And wow, so many new layers of wisdom have been revealed! Thank you for that and for all that you do. Your integrity for truly wanting to help others (vs maximizing advertising dollars) does not go unnoticed!
Thank you for the kind words and the support, Lea! I'm glad you're finding new layers in the book as you work through it again. I still explore exercises from it personally all of the time when I'm doing new things in life. I think they are like tools in a toolbox. Maybe we get the tools the first time when something breaks around the house. But then we discover all of the things we can build with those tools. We might use them for some repairs again in the future, but the exciting things we can build and craft are so much more, and there is no limit to the layers and levels of crafting and growth. Enjoy!
Thankyou so much Mark! Your videos have helped me so much in my joirney with existential OCD. I am currently on a relapse after 2 years of being OCD free! It sucks, but hey, ive gotten over it once and i sure can do it again(this time i wont neglect my mental fitness training 😅) i hope you know how much of a positive impact you have made on my life. To anyone reading this comment, it will be okay. No matter how horrible it feels right now, it will get better. Love from India.❤
Thank you for the donation, Aarya! I appreciate the support. I'm glad the videos have been helpful on your journey. I hope they continue to be a support on the next steps!
Thanku for saying this no matter how hard it is it will get better
I love you man. Im dealing with bdd from age 15 and i tried my luck in age 18 - 19 after self dignosis and back than for some reason (now i know but i had a gut feeling ) they gave me the wrong diagnosis beacuse i didnt came from a family with alot resources and money and basicly immigrent style family witch doesn't undertstood back in the day (and still learning ) the subject of mental health i did it alone and i was a victim of bad service. in the age of 18 - 19 in the public health care and they gave me bs treatment and therapy witch was cut short eventually and sent me to life to earn more problems and trumas im dealing with today but now at the age of 29 im curentlly getting the full help that i need getting to know finaly what was really dealing with and it called bdd with alot of tools and knowlege and im still recovering thanks god and remember its started in the age of 15 its never to late to take care of yourself and dont ever give up onyourself this is a journey and you will allways find new things. therapy i belive is a life thing we will allways need therapy in our life. Im sorry for my english im from israel and i just want to say you are a bllesing man. Thank you !
Thanks for the kind words! It's great you're finding a path forward!
It's so annoying i think i'm finally free of OCD and boom one day i wake up i have the worst anxiety and compulsions... anyways thanks mark for these videos can't Stress how much they help me!
It helped me to see that mental health and fitness skills are for handling challenges. They're about having any feeling, like anxiety, and then not doing those compulsions.
Great video. I think it shows that WHY is more important than WHAT. Everything can be done as a unhealthy compulsion. Unhealthy way of judging and avoiding unhealthy compulsions is still an unhealthy activity.
Yes, the how and the why are often what changes, not the what. Hand washing is one of the compulsions where that became very evident to me
I really feel grateful on bumping into your channel, what you address resonates so well. Like also that how well it's structured and going into different places most RUclipsrs stay in one place in a room and for me I noticed how it can become claustrophobic especially I started this road to recovery since 3 years ago almost and it's been 1 year since I found a therapist I feel the effects of the work and believe me it's constant uncertainty and challenges just as you described. Thank you thank you❤
The part about the new engine felt so recognizable... thanks for the video. All the best Mark!
Enjoy building your new engine :)
Such a heartwarming moment at the end Mark, great job❤
Thanks, Matt!
Mark's Video Is Real happiness... ❤ Love from India....!
Thanks, Samir!
This is so crazy! I was about to post a comment yesterday to you about this exact topic and if you could cover it one day -- and it's already here?! Not even 24 hours later. I got really lucky lol.
Excellent timing!
Excellent video, Mark! Thank you for helping us navigate the wilderness of recovery! I consider myself “recovered” because I am doing everything I’m wanting to do in life. I got on my horse for yesterday and didn’t think twice about it. That was the first time I got on without being afraid I was going to fall and break my neck! That’s just one layer of my onion. I’m working through the other deeper stickier layers, but not putting life on hold to do it! If you’re afraid to do something today, go do it! Even if it’s just today! I used to be terrified to stay home alone. Now I’m doing it constantly and not even thinking about it. But In order for me to not be afraid anymore- I had to do it afraid. ALOT! And it was worth it!!! Keep up the great work!
Thanks, Jordan! That's great to hear. Enjoy not putting life on hold! 😁🙌
this video is perfect. Every point hits home with me. Thanks for summarizing so many insights. I love the analogy of learning to drive the out of control truck. That's really what it feels like.
Have fun being World Champion of Out-of-Control Truck Racing!
I was trying to do ERP using the old engine. I guess that is why I had very limited success with ERP. I has been years since I saw one of your videos for the first time and I am still learning something new. Thank you.
That's useful to notice!
The talk on loss is lovely mate always more room for love is a beautiful way to look at the monster of it.
😁🙇♂️
Mark, this video really meets me where I am right now in a lot of ways. As the onion peels back I’m running into “new” old problems. The part about building a new engine really hit home for me. I’ve been talking to my partner a lot about not being so fueled by shame and feeling less motivated now. It’s like the parts of myself that want to go out and LIVE life have been scared or on vacation since I was a kid while the parts that were scared of living life were running the show.
Your content had been really helpful and validating since I was diagnosed with sensorimotor ocd last year. Thanks for what you are doing. This really helped me see in many ways that I’m on the path.
I'm glad the content has been helpful, Jonathan! Have fun bringing back those parts of you that just live for the things you love :)
thank you so much for helping with it, i'm struggling with my mental health for so long.
So so true, Mark! Thank you for sharing. As a person in recovery, i cant believe how accurate you describe this haha :) Love you, man!
Thanks, Ross!
How do I engage with my thoughts
Like I have completely stopped reacting to any thoughts so should I engage with thoughts which are useful??
And your videos have helped me a lot
Thank you mark
Really a gem of content....Thanks mark
😁🙌
I developed throbbing in my left elbow, phantom drooling all on the left side of me while having ocd and recovering from it too, but somehow felt it was part of the ocd and decided to not make another obsession out of it. Very important video, post recovery therapy should be a topic too!
Yes, there's a whole set of interesting experiences and supports to explore AFTER the initial symptoms are dealt with and gone. It's great you picked up on that!
Amazing video and amazing denim jacket. legend.
The jacket worked hard!
Happy to hear your great insightful knowledge of your experience 😊.
😁
Been doing ERP hardcore for about a month now. Seeing major results already and am so grateful/ excited to make it to where you are at
Enjoy the steps ahead and learning how to sustain these skills!
How is it 2 months later v
I watched this video a few months ago but I think now I really WATCHED it because I have been on this recovery journey for a year and always wondering why my anxiety is still high and why old cumpolsions come up when I stopped doing them for so long but now thanks to you I realize it’s okay to not do the right thing because there isn’t a right thing to do and anxiety isn’t a bad thing and I can either have it or not without it ruining anything.
Indeed! Anxiety is one of those totally natural experiences we can have, or not have. The brain can do whatever it wants and we can take it along for the ride!
Ive been struggling with mental illness since years now. I dont know i went to dschinns storys to understand it more (Somehow i think its that) cause today in the night till almost morning was crazy Stuff said but then again it can be my mental getting better. God i am in IV right now at the moment my grandmother said i should continue on with IV cause i broke my Feets and i deserve that Money but i dont know about that. I dont know what to say to my psychologist. Right now i am 100% back and feeling good. This is crazy.
Thanks Mark!😊
😁🙌
When the onion metaphor instantly makes you think of Shrek..
But seriously Mark, thank you, for all you do and the community that you build and the lessons that you share. I’m super grateful for your guidance in just spending my time on things I value instead of compulsions that are just stickers on an elephant’s butt, just as useless or maybe just as time consuming that I would rather spend on cuddling the elephant.
:) Cuddle that elephant!
Idk, but the video touched me deeply. Thanks ❤
😁🙌
Thanks!
Thank you for the support, Robert!
What a great video! It gave me goosebumps and i was like "yes yes yes, exactly !" The scenes you added in between the video are amazing and they depicted everything so well (i thoughts you would erase the driver for depicting - Out of control truck 😂) do come to India for recording bunch of new scenes to add in your video!!
Now coming to one thing i want to share about the important Exam i was screaming about -- i decided to trust myself and not rush for more material and make the most of what I'd prepared months back. I practiced only that stuff and some of it showed in the exam and i was excited that I was preparing according to the demands of the exam! Definitely, i didn't trust myself completely and left the questions which i knew the right answers to, also while i was preparing my brain was like "they wouldn't ask this" but they did!! So yes there's this sinking feeling after exploration that i could've trusted myself.
Also i leaned into all the fears before exam and decided 3 valued actions i am going to do in exam, it helped me not to freak out like i am going to die (like the earlier times where i used to imagine that I'll be vomiting before the exam and based on true events that would've been true back then! So i am happy that i am in a much more stable position where i can also perform what i value!) --- yes sometimes this happiness feels - What if i am avoiding something bad..being ignorant of the PROBLEM IN ME..i am not supposed to be happy ..happiness is just an excuse to avoid problems in life..i am supposed to be worried etc etc -- glad to know that it's all a part of the journey!
Also i had this All or nothing approach which worked against building skills - i asked this on discord aswell- i made certain changes which may help me build skills and learning to shift my focus towards building a sustainable system.
Now i am really excited about exploring Trusting myself and knowing what i am doing is The direction(even if it's not- we'll see and make changes accordingly to where i end up) I am also excited about building more skills and experiencing more in my studies! I'll still freak out about new stuff i am trying to do in life but I'll handle it differently or correct it as soon as i get the awareness. Also thrilled about what else i am going to unfold through me and will have resilience for!
I'll keep expanding.. this will make me cut more compulsions in other areas ..my heart sinks..but I'll ..thank you for all your support! 😌🙏🏻
Thanks! Yes, it would be wonderful to visit India again. Enjoy giving yourself trust on the steps ahead :)
Wow, had anxiety and ocd tendency for like 2 years but learned to float and kind of distract myself for a while and most times i was okay but would ruminate. With these kind of videos i realized that i wasnt fully "recovered" cuz i would a goid day when i wasnt feeling anxious or having ocd thoughts, with that mindset i still had anxious days but was good at "managing" it. Now fully accepting and not reacting to those thoughts, and really accepting and not avoiding ocd thoughts anymore i feel wayyyy different. Hahah i feel good honestly its okay if i get ocd thiughts again if its there or not. Seems like thats my error low key trying to avoid and distract myself, and realizing rumination is a compulsion. I literally watched this video without being attached. Its wild hiw really accepting and just living life changes things i gues im "recovering" haha sorry for the grammar😅
Great video. Very helpful
Thanks!
fantastic video, Mark's insights and openness, his approach to mental problems are at a rare high level, psychotherapists can learn a lot from this....
Thank you for the kind words.
Excellent
Another very helpful video, thank you so much! Where I am at right now, I do have less anxiety in general, or I don't get hung up on it as much. I'm now mostly dealing with false belief systems that came out of/fed my anxiety - they're pretty deeply rooted, but through positive action/interactions with others it has gotten better. I love what you said about trust, that it's not something you have before doing the things you want, but it is something you choose to give yourself through action - I am going to continue to work on that. Thanks again for sharing your knowledge with all of us 🙂
It is great to notice those beliefs and start to explore more useful ones. Have fun giving yourself trust as you explore!
Fascinating
💯
thank you
You're welcome!
Hey Mark, i have a "unique" confusing i dont even know what to call it, but its a weird situation i got my self in, starting 2019 i had a very hard run in with anxiety after i took a medication "resperidone" the medication basically gave me a chemical lobotomy for 2 months, never had a clinical mental health issue before that i just wanted to get high off my sisters "adhd med" (yeah the psych gave my sister a anti psychotic to help her focus) skipping the details of that incident i developed a fear mainly towards not coping, i picked up smoking first to "feel energized" then it became a habit around just the head rush that felt so damn good, but to get to the point i had many obsessions, i feared hairloss, then cancer, then developing panic disorder becuase surely high levels of anxiety ment i had some defect that had to be solved, so i landed on panic disorder, which funnily enough obsessing over it gave me a panic attack and for about 2 weeks, i met the criteria for a clinical pd diagnosis, now in the past 2 months i have started a very noticeable spiral into the ocd label, first i got insomnia becuase i feared i could not sleep so began compulsively looking up solutions, then i got covid and oh fuck i may develop long covid, so i gotta smoke more and work out less (apparently nicotine reducess LC chances???) now my new topic of obsession is ocd, looking up every scholarly articale i can read a scientific jornal as if i was a scientist, looking up that sub reddit r/ocd, asking if i have ocd, surely not right? well thankfully i eventually noticed that yeah im plugging my self into a typical mental health crisis, and i need a way out, came across your channel and everything clicked, i picked up a liberated mind by steve hayes (who i used to compulsively listen to to convince my self i can be normal) dont anymore now im following what he teaches, im going to pick up your book after you definitely know what you are talking about;
now as you can see i have plugged my self into ocd, ok so i am working my way out of it, i mainly have mental compulsions, thought says "hey you are developing ocd soon and you wont be able to cope" or "shit look you wont be able to sleep you'll have a hypnic jerk and a panic attack" i would respond almost automatically out of my awareness to a degree to these thoughts saying "nah wont happen" xyz doesnt matter what matters is the fact i responded to a random neuron firing in my head, when ever i notice the compulsion, it goes away, sometimes i notice it as soon as it starts, it instantly stops, intrusive thought is also gone, now a new thought comes in, "whenever you are noticing your inner dialogue and stopping it, you are doing a compulsion" look i get that its a thought but is this true? do i live my life basically noticing my inenr dialogue which almost always stops it in its track heck sometimes this self soothing dialouge happens outside the context of a intrusive thought, what exactly do i do? its been disrupting my sleep whenever i sleep my mind wanders, and i automatically notice it wandering which stops it, which i feel disrupts my sleep abruptly, makes me anxious to, where do i go from here?
This does sound very standard and normal. Judging it as "unique" is a very common compulsion I like to call "differencing". It is not different. In fact, it could really help to see that the patterns you're describing are the exact same as any contamination compulsion. But you're just trying to figure out if you're thinking in a "clean" way or not. It's very normal that people start judging compulsions as a contamination to clean away and then get caught up in the same chase for control and certainty that only creates more anxiety and uncertainty.
It could also be useful to not get stuck on the idea of having mostly mental compulsions. You listed a lot of things I would see as physical compulsions if I was doing them. So there are many opportunities to change actions, like giving more time to doing the actions you want to be doing and growing in life.
We can grow the things we want to do in life while having any brain stuff. I do the actions I want to do and the brain is welcome to do whatever it wants to do.
Brilliant. I remember taking those electric stairs in the Umeda Sky Building back in 2005. The view from the rooftop is amaizing. Thank you for the brilliant video. In my recovery I think body pains and migraine have been very difficult challenges after not caring about intrusive thoughts, also learning to put boundaries to difficult family members or friends which were pushing me back to lots of struggles has been another challenge. Saludos.
Navigating those real physical discomforts, and navigating the relationships around as we make changes, are definitely two of the most common challenges at that point in the adventure. I wish you much lightness and ease as you set those boundaries!
After I tussle with my intrusive thoughts, I get a massive headache 😢. Working on not letting them bother me but they hurt.
@@Elle-hx8ji Yes! That's very common. I used to get big headaches or fall asleep when I was working on cutting out compulsions
mark, can you make a video for people who were raised by narcissistic parents?
Is there something specific you're looking for? Many of these videos are skills I would/do share with clients that have had experiences with narcissistic parents.
Thank you mark ! And ur welcome too ;) mark what is the role of medication in recovery ? EVRYTIME I have tried weaning off , there's a relapse. But at the same time , the relapse happens when there is a challenging situation! That's very interesting to note. So i can't tell what came before- the chicken or the egg. What is your take on that?
Again, thank you!
Notice how you're describing a relapse in your comment as a passive thing you experience: "...there's a relapse... the relapse happens..." Maybe we have different definitions of relapse. I would define a relapse as me choosing to do old avoiding and controlling compulsions around experiences I'm judging and hating on. It's a thing I do. What does "relapse" mean to you?
@@everybodyhasabrain very deep. Wow. Thank you. Ahaha I can't beat you at this. I have to do the dirty work that's piled up one way or the other.
I wish my brain didn’t turn everything into a scenerio. It’s better but still flares up all of the time
Brains love inventing stories!
It's always dizzyness for me. Brain knows i'll react to it..
I find it really hard to BE Dizzy or unstable.
It's one of the brain's favorites. Around dizziness, when it comes to looking at touching that Loss Monster, I find it useful to look at control.
❤
Hello!! Is ANGER/RAGE a part of the recovery process? When I was super anxious, felt a thousand physical symptoms, I was always fearful. Now that I am no longer fearful, I FEEL INTENSE ANGER that I didn't feel before
It's very common to go on a journey of exploring many emotions. And it helped me to see my brain would search for compulsions with whatever would get me into compulsions. I found it useful to see anger and rage in the context of me trying to control.
Tokyo is lovely 😍
It is!
I feel like I've cut out most compulsions. I'm not trying to figure out things the way I used to. I've accepted that life is uncertain. But I now feel depressed. I feel really, really sad. Like I'll never know the answers to my ocd questions but they could come up at some point and I have to deal with them. I feel jealous of people who seem to be certain of their past and that they are good people and they'd never do anything horrible. I also feel jealous of people who can accept that life will end some day and they can find meaning and joy. I did a lot of work to bring my compulsions down but now I'm at this weird point where I feel like I'm driving a car around town and it has no seatbelts or doors. I feel like I can't be happy without the seatbelts or doors on it. Otherwise, I could fall out any second. Who would help me if I fell out? Would people look at me like I'm awful because clearly I should've put some doors on it. What if I bring someone with me in this car with missing doors (i.e. marriage or friendship) and suddenly we get hurt while driving because I didn't make sure they were strapped in and get doors put on the car?
The first few phrases of the comment (about accepting uncertainty and not doing compulsions) seemed to be contradicted by the rest of the comment, which was all about listing out uncertainties you dislike and the compulsions to get certainty and control around them.
It does sound like you're seeing the uncertainties and challenges that were maybe always under the other stuff. It can be terrifying to touch that stuff. I often describe it as driving an out-of-control truck with no doors or seatbelts. But it was so useful for me to explore getting skilled at driving that truck.
@@everybodyhasabrain I really don't want to drive the truck :( It's terrifying. I know there's no other way around life and I have to. For example, doing the compulsions get me no where. So this is my only choice. How do you accept that you could have forgotten something you did in the past (false memory) or that you may hurt your loved ones (hocd), etc. I feel irresponsible driving the truck and like a fraud and like I don't deserve to even drive it.
@sophiavirdi6909 the questions you're asking there are very classic OCD compulsion questions, like: "How do you accept that your hands aren't clean and you might spread germs?!" This is the basic stuff to explore. But also, it does sound like you want to learn how to drive this truck, or you wouldn't be here asking about it. At first, it's always very normal to be scared by cutting out compulsions when we're getting started on learning new skills. But learning to drive that truck can take us so many places we want to go in life!
Hi Mark. When you recover from chronic OCD/anxiety/panic/DP/DR/insomnia, is there an absence of lingering anxiety and disturbing thoughts, while mainly feeling anxiety in the proper context, or does the anxiety get kind of better while the anxiety and thoughts are still there but just don't bother you anymore?
I don't know what some of these terms mean to you. It also seems to be focused on getting rid of things instead of all of the things that are totally different and better. It's like asking if somebody who loves baking doesn't burn things anymore. There are way more delicious things to savor than just "I don't taste burnt cookies anymore". The absence of a burnt cookie doesn't mean the presence of a delicious cookie, so don't limit yourself with exploring mental health and only focus on a goal like getting rid of some anxiety or thoughts or burnt cookies. There's much more to build and grow. Of course some unhelpful baking techniques get subtracted. But what are you going to add? That's the stuff to ask about.
@@everybodyhasabrain So you'll still be eating some burnt cookies, but you also get to eat delicious pastries alongside them?
@@ChannelHandler88 No. Now that I know how to bake, why would I burn the cookies? But I wouldn't see the lack of burning as a defining element. I don't wake up every day and define my day by the absence of a thought or feeling. I don't have intrusive thoughts anymore but I also didn't hit myself in the face with a frying pan when I woke up this morning. There are much more interesting things to experience!
@@everybodyhasabrain Oh okay, gotcha. Thanks for the reply. I know another psychologist that says OCD results from dysregulating emotions and avoiding anxiety so it would make sense that "learning to bake" alleviates OCD, because the OCD isn't really problem.
@@ChannelHandler88 Yes, it helped me to approach it as a thing I do/did. So once we learn how to do things differently, I'd have to choose to go back to doing the old way of things (burning the cookies)
Hey mark, i have watching this series religiously. However i have a question here, there are days when i feel no anxiety because of my thoughts, the same thoughts that used to kill me mentally, don’t bother me at all sometimes. Then these days turn into weeks, i feel like these thoughts have no power over me. This may sound stupid but, All this time, I don’t why but i keep worrying about the fact that i’m not having any anxiety lol. This is very unusual for me. And it just bothers me because i feel like in order to recover completely, you have to go through a tough periods of anxiety and panic attacks and you have to face them. When i’m not having any anxiety, i feel like i’m just distracting myself and this process is hindering my recovery journey. Because after those days end, i usually get my anxiety attacks back ( not always tho )
Been*
@Nobody I didn't see a question in there. And the fact that we won't be scared anymore, and that's one of the scariest things, is in this video. It's one of the 10 things.
@@everybodyhasabrainmaybe i should have phrased it in a better way. It’s just that i have experienced this before aswell. Months passed by and i had no anxiety at all. Then out of nowhere, the anxiety and thoughts returned. Now i have not been experiencing any anxiety from many weeks. What should i do in this time so that i don’t have to go through the same cycle again?
@Nobody But like I mentioned in the video, the challenge with this is that we go back to doing compulsions. And it sounds like you're still judging the presence or absence of a feeling and reacting to the fear of experiencing anxiety. Thoughts never do anything to us. It's us doing things to them. It doesn't matter if the thoughts are there or not. But if we do checking and controlling around them, then we create issues. So if you don't want to create issues with thoughts again (or feelings), then I'd look at not doing checking and controlling around thoughts/ feelings. They can be there. Or not. It has nothing to do with what we want to create and build in the world
@@everybodyhasabraingot it, thankyou!!
Marc is it a compulsion that I prefer spending most of my day out of the house beacause it helps a lot not to ruminate? Sometimes I do prefer reading a book or spend time relaxing at home with good music but I know that it’s not going to work due to my minds “noise”!
Ruminating is something we do. Of course there might be supports we find useful when we're first cutting out compulsions. When I was first cutting out compulsions I would often do at home, I purposefully scheduled in things to do each night of the week for a week. But then I started to purposefully practice being at home and not doing the compulsions. Rather than searching to label things as a compulsion or not, I find it more useful to look at what skills I want to learn. I wanted to learn how to be at home and enjoy being at home and not do compulsions there. If that's a skill you want to learn, you can. There's no requirement to do that, though.
@ the thing is I currently avoid staying at home although it used to be my happy place once! I started connecting home with being unsafe beacause my thoughts bother me more there
@athinameleti1738 Yes, so that's why it can be useful to learn how to cut out those compulsions. Thoughts don't do things to us. We do things to thoughts. It helped to see that home was difficult because I was doing compulsions. The thoughts were not the problem.
@ my thoughts are not my problem any more, the need to act mentally 24/7 is! So my ocd is mostly about ocd!
@athinameleti1738 That's the same compulsion. That does not make a difference
why are these thoughts so addictive? what caused them in the first place?
Regardless of any answer or no answer to those uncertainties, we can make changes and give our time and energy to things we actually want to grow.
I’m having a bit of a relapse again. I’ll take it as it is. But it was good hearing about the onion because I always look at things black and white. I thought it was one compulsion, judging and belief and when you expose yourself and not do the compulsion, that the compulsion over with but there’s many more compulsion after that trying to get me back to the original compulsion but I keep denying it because it wasn’t pointing out to me. I always play stupid, idk why.
But alot of mental health sources do focus on ridding and managing anxiety, you said they have there place but are they actually helpful if it just enforces uncertainty
There's nothing wrong with uncertainty. I approach mental health and fitness as learning how to have experiences, not get rid of them. OCD is all about trying to control and avoid experiences like uncertainty and anxiety. So I wouldn't pursue those as some sort of goals. Of course that would only create more struggling
@@everybodyhasabrain Am I overcomplicating it for myself? Like I know what I have to do. Expose, Acceptance and shift my energy to what I value, adding rather than subtracting.
But then there be what ifs or wanting to understand why ocd works this way and am I doing it right? Why did this person say this things and what does it mean? but this person said another thing. There’s many therapy techniques, some about getting rid some about embracing, who right?. Let me go watch this video again to confirm I’m understanding this right
This is not what I love, this is not making me happy, yet I put it all at high importance when I could just stop placing my energy in.
My teacher of Drama always says "Do to believe, not believe to do" You dont need to find a some especial random emotion to take action, in drama or real life.
Yes! That applies in so many areas of life
Thanks!
Thank you for the donation, Alex! I appreciate the support 😁🙇♂️
@@everybodyhasabrain Welcome, thank you for your videos Mark. They have been life changing