The Rotten Royals of Old England
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
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👑 They may have been the Rulers of England but they sure were Rotten! 🤢 👑
Warning contains excessive farts, burps and nose picking
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Credit:
Created by Daniel Turner (B.A. (Hons) in History, University College London)
Narrator:
Chris Kane
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"William the Conqueror smashed a chess board over a French prince after losing to him..." In other words, Bill C invented the rage quit in the 11th Century. I learn something new from Simple History in every video!
haha yes 69th like
Hey back then kings would kill back then for losing.
William the conquerer plays COD and loses deathmatch to a 12 year old player....orders an Norman invasion of the kids house
@@Dumpstermuffin1
Then has the 12 year old locked in the stocks in the village square so the serfs can pelt him with rotten fruit and vegetables... Before dragging him off for a nice long stay in "The Tower" (with no console, PC or WiFi!)
Gaston was inspired by this.
I hope I will find men and women of culture here because of this comment.
King: "I dub thee Keeper Of the Royal Stinkpot"
Some Dude: "My dream is finally fulfilled!"
Considering that it meant that you could closely influence the actions of the Monarch, it was a valuable position to have.
I read that as "I dub thee Keeper of the Royal SlipKnot"
In Henry VIII's time, yep it was really a huge opportunity. Just being able to gain access to everything inside the Privy chamber is a privilege not many will ever declare in their lives.
"James I feared water..."
Kind of inconvenient for a king of a large island.
And King Of Scotland and England
@@idsfxtm5759 That's kind of the point...Britain ie England, Scotland, and Wales is one large island.
James was a weeb lmao
@@kamikazer6484 lol
@@Z020852 Britain *is*
Disney: Being a royal was so romantic!
Simple History: Being a royal was so freaking disgusting!
I trust you I saw real thing.
They had some insanely weird habits back then
I CAN'T WATCH DISNEY MOVIES THE SAME WAY NO MORE
Basically no different than the politicians of today. Especially in the USA.
Discord mods carry on the tradition
Some Chick: "The Middle Ages were SO romantic. Prince Charming awakened Sleeping Beauty with a kiss."
Simple History: "It was the stench from the prince's rotten mouth that awakened her and she ran for her life"
Offer
Work the land till day to night until your bones can't move no more
Or
Work as a soldier and loot a knights body for his armor
And she herself had a deformed jaw thanks to all the keeping the bloodline pure.
Say to the chick they where horrible you could get raided by some norsemen and knights do the same but denies it and genocides cause stupid reasons
@@delanovanraalte3186 they would say it's romantic.
Somehow.
@@augustuzmoon3814 Some inaccuracy What you were saying,but okay.
Imagine being one of the richest men in England and your job is cleaning someone's butt
it pays off, great salary and free 💩
For someone to do a job like that it only makes sense for it to pay well.
The man obviously had skills that other people lacked .
@@antwan1357 bruhhh
@@antwan1357Bruhhhhhhhh
Note about Medieval bathing habits: Bathing only became uncommon in the later Middle Ages, especially after the outbreak of the Black Death. In the earlier Middle Ages bathing was a common activity and bath houses were found in large numbers in all medieval towns. Bath houses were important social gathering places but they also became places where people gambled or engaged in prostitution. As such, the clergy was often very opposed to the bath houses, and after the Black Death (which often spread through bath houses) led to a massive surge in religious fervor, most bath houses in Western Europe were shut down. The association of bathing with sinful habits and disease is what led to the widespread aversion towards bathing in the late middle ages and early modern periods.
This is true. Charlemagne’s biographer Einhard talks about how Charlemagne loved bathing
“Charles took delight in the vapour of naturally hot waters, and constantly practised swimming, in which he was so proficient that no one could be fairly regarded as his superior. Partly for this reason he built his palace at Aix, and lived there continuously during the last years of his life up to the time of his death. He used to invite not only his sons to the bath but also his nobles and friends, and at times even a great number of his followers and bodyguards.”
I think it was during the early 16th century that public bathing began to decline in popularity because people were afraid of the spread of syphilis.
I think that is correct Although for anybody reading the comment bathing does not mean they were not clean I believe they used methods of cleaning themselves which used much less water.
Never said it was
@Safwaan how do they clean without bathing?
@@blackhokage1744 that's the neat part. They don't!
imagine being so rich that cleaning yourself is considered a chore
👁👄👁 ikr
Like this for kermit the dog
And the da baby
Its the billionaire grindset us peasants cannot relate to
Isn't cleaning yourself always a chore? I hate showering but I do it because yaknow... hygiene.
When you get old and get dementia it’s likely someone will be wiping your butt. We start that way in life and will likely end that way.
Haha just be depressed. Talking can become a chore.
Man did they have fun making him as disgusting as possible
Damn
Ikr
Thank God im not a royal descedant of the english monarch.
@@cjmartinez8318 imagine being “bri ish” 🤢
@@randomguy8228 **EXISTENTIAL CRISIS INTENSIFIES**
Atleast Henry was kind to his wives...
that aged poorly
Right?? Come on guys he was kind right..?
And all because they couldn’t give him a son
imagine if they knew it was the sperm that decided gender
@Natgal someone here don't realize it's a joke
The first king should be enough of a reason for everyone to lose wieght
Welp at least the FBI is promoting fitness.
@@bryanmartinez6600 Cant have fat cops, nor a fat society
@@bryanmartinez6600, well, they can track your fitbit, so they know who's not working out!
@@robertharper3754 fit bits can confuse fast movements of the limbs its attached to as excercise if you know what i mean
@@federalbureauofinvestigati9177, HA!!! That is true, but they can also give away the user's location. That's happened to our military a few times, we're crappy when it comes to our electronic foot print.
3:08 Noticed the Food William was carrying on his horse 😂
And blood vein on the horse head, because the King overweight.
He just wanted to maintain the dad bod he’d worked so hard for
@@GiraffeFeatures I doubt that you can call that a dad bod anymore.
Nice touch!
The best way to survive a tyrannical king: Be the executioner
Really?
That's true
If you’re executions are not good enough you’ll be executed
@@bowlingpin_3705 yr'oue*
@@filo8197 Yro'ue*
The groom of the stool reminds me of that South Park episode when Cartman’s mom tended to his business when he was playing World of Warcraft 😂
🤣🤣
South Park is funny asf, I haven't watched it in a long time tbh. I gotta start watching it again.
@@thebindingblade777 my parents think that's the dumbest show ever. It's mainly how they talk.
"That's a big boy, isn't he?"
Oh goodness I remember that
"Moral figurehead to their subjects"
Prince Andrew: *exits building*
They're all just like him, they're just good at hiding it
Didn’t the young girl comment on his general Oder?
& US sanctions for Prince Andrew over sexual scandal.
Shouldn't most of them leave the building?
Medieval folks may not have bathed regularly but most had access to soap and did wash hands and faces daily. They used twigs to clean their teeth. They also would have washed their clothes, albeit with a solution derived from stale urine. Still pretty gross but contrary to popular belief Medieval people did have some concept of cleanliness.
Drip sweat and Do manual labour all day and tell me you don't smell rotten the next day, I work construction and couldent imagine if someone skipped a shower
@@bobbysauer7826 I never said that Medieval people smelled pleasant all the time, far from it I imagine. I was just making a point that Medieval people did have standards of cleanliness (though not to the degree as modern people) and weren’t all covered in mud and their own filth 24/7 as is so often depicted.
Yeah , they would also take great care to at least wash their face in a troth if they were in a pinch. If they did have time and most importantly if they had access to a river or spring , they would wash themselves and some would even put lavender or other herbs and flowers on their clothes and homes.
While it sounds disgusting, urine pretty much worked as ammonia and was effective at cleaning cloth.
Alec, you're full of chit. Soap wasn't used in most of Europe until the 17th century although Moor-controlled Spain used it much earlier.
They may have been the Rulers of England but they sure were Rotten! 🤢 👑
Omg wow 😸
How rotten rulers of England is? Well….
Among us
How many years have they been left in the broken fridge?
😳😳😳🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤴👸🤴🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮😳😳😳💩💩💩🍭🍬🍭🍬🍔🍔🍔💥💥💥🪥🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
I feel like king Henry and Papa Roach could do a lit cross over:
" Cut my wife in to pieces, this is my last divorce "
Singlehandedly _THE_ most underrated post on this comment section...
(Tips Fedora)
@@residentelect my god, you right
CUT MY WIFE INTO PIECES THIS IS MY LAST DIVORCE, MUTILATION, HEAD BLEEDING, DGAF IF SHE SAYS IM CHEATING **guitar riff** THIS IS MY LAST DIVORCE
@@residentelect Resident Elect?
*gasp* PERRY THE RESIDENT ELECT?!
@@gabrielemanderioli2113
Shhhh 🤫 Don't expose me on here!
I've got a great scam going!!
How much to buy your silence??
You can see how much the details of the characters improved since the groom of the stool episode, well done, love your content!
That's not just England. It's also France. And virtually every European country. I've heard that people used to piss in the corner of rooms in the Palace of Versailles.
England
"Warning contains excessive farts, burps and nose picking"-Simple History 2021
@@Simplehistory lol 🤣
LMFAO
England is a swampy and rainy island they can't be gracious people living on it. As always english said it was the French that was dirty and ate frogs to discredits the French but it was them.
@@Simplehistory New emoji 😳
"The early medieval period is one of absolute faith, stunning brutality, bottomless greed, pitiless cruelty, venal treachery, rampant warfare, low politics, and boundless personal ambition."
Sounds like the rest of history
Has anything really changed?
...and this state of affairs persisted for several centuries more - until President Trump came upon the world stage and temporarily took it all away...
“Rotten” is definitely a good word for it. Not only did the monarchs behave like pigs, they also weren’t typically the nicest people.
They were huge inbreds as well.
@@yriasantiesteban3355 As someone who grew up with a pig for a pet… I can indeed confirm that pigs are the cleanest, most polite animals on the planet
Of all the accomplishments of William I, he will be remembered for conquering the Anglo-Saxons and his death explosion.
Modern day gamers: smashes computers when raging William the conqueror: smashes chess board when gaming
It is disgusting to see a dead person pooping at his own funeral
@raynaldo arlen k.eman hold up WHAT
@raynaldo arlen k.eman i have no comment for this
@raynaldo arlen k.eman
....
@@bigmoniesponge not funny man, this guy has to be traumatized
@@bigmoniesponge no problem :D maybe it is just a joke but i appreciate and admire how you replied! Have a great day ^^
I heard Elizabeth I was so foul tempered, she threatened to execute an explorer if he didn't provide pressys for her, Sir Walter Raleigh and Lord Melchett.
Fortunately they brought back an excellent wine from the island paradise they visited, of which there was an inexhaustible supply
Is it a stick?
And then, there was Roanoke. We all know what happened there.
@@stereowired Well, not exactly.
"keepsake of his grossly intimate royal duties"
hehe, dooty
**in Peter Griffin’s voice** “Diarrhea!”
hehehehehehe they said the thing
Call of Doodoo
Everyone: I wanna learn about the English Monarchs!
Simple History: 💩😂
Lol
In a way, I will need to agree lmao
Funny thing is that his first ever video is about kid henry the 8th
Their, not his (edit: them as in there are many people running the channel, not only the narrator we hear)
@@jole0000 its a fucking man tho. You dont see a lot of female historians and members of the lgbtq community would probably cry if they tried learning history
@@bobsempletank4322 The guy speaking doesn’t make the videos he is just a narrator. I’ve heard him on many other RUclips videos and shows as well.
@@bobsempletank4322 this account is absolutely not run by one dude
@@bobsempletank4322 i think they mean that simple history is run by multiple people
That’s so funny about William the Conqueror’s body being unable to fit a coffin, makes me imagine I slapstick comedy scenario of the people trying to stuff it in, lol. 😂
4:59 I studied Tudor England for my A-Level, and I can say that the House of Tudor's reign was certainly an interesting period. Henry VII was incredibly competent although grew more cold-hearted and cruel through both grief and age, Henry VIII was an incredibly ineffective monarch on the whole whose goals in foreign and internal affairs often contradicted one another. (For example, he was an avid enjoyer of History and wanted to be an Imperial Monarch like the Angevinian Kings of old, He wanted to be loved and feared by his subjects, which doesn't really add up. The list goes on.) Edward died before he really got to do much of anything, and Mary was disastrous. A devout Catholic monarch in a nation that had just turned Protestant. Elizabeth was probably the first properly successful monarch outside of her grandfather in the 120 years since the House's founding. Fascinating and incredibly relevant piece of traditional English history, but very, very weird.
Then why was Henry 8 so famous? Brutality?
@@pierrecurie because of the wife killings
@@pierrecurie 6 wives and break from rome
It's awesome I got to catch one of these. Thanks for the consistent, great work.
You're welcome
ParticularBored
@TommyInnit 🅥 rude tommy ur just mad that tekit rick rolled u arnt you
@TommyInnit 🅥 fake
@TommyInnit 🅥 f a k e ?
@TommyInnit 🅥 why would you want to fake a cringe mc youtuber
I hope we get a part 2: The Rotten Royals of Modern England.
Lmao yes
Randy Andy?
yes, it was very pleasant to witness the rather poor hygiene of the english royal families
The Amazing Royals of Burgundy
In 500years from now
I love how people make fun of the Spanish kings for comiting incest and having long chins but then nobody talks about brithis monarcs being dirty.
Fun fact, the old spanish monarchs that are made fun of for “inbreeding” are austrian actually
I know
And btw México also got a hansbourg monarch
Never heard of people making fun of Spanish kings though.
The fact that we get free documentaries on RUclips by Simple History is truly a gift 👍 👍
Raging now:
Smashing your kerboard
Raging then:
Smashing your chess board on you opponents head
Simple History should do a video talking about famous swedish kings like Charles XII and Gustavus Adolphus
LIBERA ET IMPERA
@@stephenscribbles ACERBUS ET INGENS
@@abucket3915 AUGUSTA PER ANGUSTA
"William look pregnant"
And that's how we got that complement 🤣
Rest In Peace
Queen Elizabeth II 💔❣️
Long Live the Queen
The hottest men in Britain
Agreed
Yep.
Rogachi agrees
England is a swampy and rainy island they can't be gracious people living on it. As always english said it was the French that was dirty and ate frogs but it was them
@@ommsterlitz1805 The French ate frogs not the English, it was part of their cuisine.
Stuffs so good you get the upvote before I even watch it, LOL
Greetings fellow redditard
I hope everyone who still imagines old royalty as something so glamorous and elegant sees this.
Goddammit, i knew that watching these last seconds would make the vid complete XD
I paused to read comments, seen this and hit the play button. I'll admit it made me laugh a little
@@charliegarrison9688 Heehheehheeee
That stool groomer at 5:24 was like : why did I apply for this job
Lmao
Because if he quits, he will be beheaded.
Thank you so much for everything you do! Your hard work and passion is appreciated and enriches all of us.
@Tearjerker your*
6:35 So that's where the privvy council originated? This still exists in England, i think privvy chamber does as well. Good vid!👍🏻😊
"They exude sophistication, class and elegance, acting as a moral figurehead to their subjects"
Prince Andrew: How about no
Yeah, that bank robber does look kinda familiar
@@lorisperfetto6021 Hopefully, that familiar robber wouldn't cause any mass deaths and seperations
@@switzerland1394 are you joking? He is not the kind of guy that would still not give food of the state to farmers because reports of cannibalism started to appear in the great famine
Dude thank you! Prince Andrew is probably worse than example in this video
@@lorisperfetto6021 yeah you're right, he won't be the guy that would cause mass starvation and millions of deaths and be involved in a big war
"King Henry is a fine specimen of a man and, *sigh* , please dont make me say this."
"Say iit"
" *sigh* and everytime i look at him, i wish I was a woman"
Ah yes, a person of culture ☕
@@frostincubus4045 "the pleasure is all mine"
I see you know the the sacred culture
@@midnighttale3388 men: "yeah, whatever, bucket boy. We're taking this with us"
Man: "NOOOOOOOOOO"
I'm glad to be the 69th like of this wonderful comment
Definitely watch this on your lunch break 🙂
I watched this on my breakfast
lol thats nasty
What every school in the world needs is short educational channels like you guys to teach the young how history is
I can never truly grasp how anyone could be so powerful that someone else wiped for them. Not to sad Groom of the Stool went out of style.
Ya gotta wonder if "brown-noser" wasn't a literal thing....
You don't have to be powerful, you just have to be demented, paralyzed or comatose and some poor nurse or relative will have this dubious honor.
@@talknight2Its one thing to have a medical condition, it another to believe your status prevents you from needing to wipe yourself. That's being truly powerful.
French king rejected William. Also the horse did as well 3:11
In many ways of course you expect English people to be disgusting but old English Kings / Queens were far worse. Take this from a actual Englishman
Most English are kind and decent people, certainly not disgusting.
@@Valencetheshireman927 yet thats portrayed by global media, making us out for looking like ugly inconsiderate slobs
Have you ever seen"Obsessive compulsive cleaners"?
Just one more episodes
Just one more pages
Just one more piece of chocolate
**just one more wife**
6:00 "Royal doodies" well played.
William invented rage quit, and then William perfected it so that no living man could best him in such.
James I was Scottish just for reference, he was the first monach to hold the English/Scottish crown by blood.🖖
I dont really understand
@@jesusdeputy931 James I of England was a monarch before his rise to the English Throne. He was known as James VI of Scotland.
He was the first monarch to hold both the crown of England and crown of Scotland via inheritance, instead of warfare and conquest.
He wasn’t Scottish mate.
Priest: Where is King William now?
Servant: umm… everywhere, my Lord
There are two types of people in this world: those that pick their nose and those that admit it.
So, does that mean you pick your nose?
@@The-Falcon-of-Light-Griffith yep
@@michaelhowell2326 Me too bruv.
Here to
I can admit I do but what’s worse is the people who eat their boogers
Thank you Simple History for all the hard work that you do.
"Thank you, Thing." -Morticia Addams
I have spent nearly every day of my life over the past 5 years intensely studying English history, with a special focus on Edward III. That the foregoing king lead England into a devastating war with France is not one bit short of falsehood. The victories at Sluys, Crecy, and Poitiers are some of the greatest in military history, and starting such a war was strategically prudent for Edward. When Henry V invades northern France in 1415, nearly half a century after Edward III's death, he intentionally takes the same path that Edward III took on his 1346 campaign, and that eventually leads him to yet another one of the greatest victories in military history, Agincourt.
That he reigned during the time of the Great Plague is an utterly meaningless point, and I truly wish that the writer/s did not imply that it somehow serves to subtract from his greatness.
I have looked into nearly every major work in which Edward III is a primary topic, and I have never heard about his "disgusting" childhood habits. It was also considered utterly disrespectful to behave in such a manner in the middle ages.
Edward III was considered to be the greatest king England had ever had up until whig historians in the 19th century started scorning him, a medieval king, for not being like an industrial revolution era liberal and progressive statesman. Now that historians are more interested in history than in retrospective mockery, the man's reputation has slowly been improving (for anyone interested in a biographical work, I recommend those of Ian Mortimer and Mark Omrod).
At 8:52 the narrarator says: "It is ironic that the Tudors used a polish on their teeth that was actually made of sugar and so exasperated the problem." I think he means exacerbated.
Henry VIII: “I wonder if I can canonize a child-“
"The British monarchs of the modern era are cultured, educated and well mannered. They exhume sophistication, class and elegance acting as a moral figure head"
Yeah, Prince Andrew would beg to differ
The entire family would beg to differ
I was eating in the morning when i was I watching this.
I never thought that a cartoon could make me feel sick to want to vomit smh
I don't think it's fair to criticize Edward III for doing what every high school and university does. I mean, eating while reading vs me eating while watching this video in front of my computer?
This video mad me appreciate hygiene even more
Medieval people were generally hygienic. It wasn't until the Black Death in 1349 that a lot of the grosser habits were adopted. Public baths were closed in quarantines and people associated bathing with the disease which is incorrect but not totally unreasonable of a leap to make when you have no concept of microbial life. Medieval people had good teeth until large scale sugar production in the New World starting in the 16th century, and then tooth decay became a leading cause of death.
"Many of their actions are considered rude or gross by today's standard."
That's not just true for the kings though, that's true for most people living during the medieval/enlightenment era.
Yes, you're right. People back then in general were just dirty. Things really didn't improve in that regard until we invented a strong plumbing system, water purification and widespread education on proper hygiene. Prior to that, raw sewage was just dumped in the streets and bacterial infections/STDs were quite common. It was a nasty, brutish time period.
4:33 Edward III being served dead a crewmate.
Sus on the right top
He held a chicken wing and a sword in 1 hand what a legend
King Henry the VIII: Strongest man in all of england and won multiple victories.
Also King Henry the VIII:*picks nose*
He had lots of wives
1:14 video starts here
Man, I didn’t realize I had no idea about anything that happened to William after conquered England
Simple history is the best along. With markfelton productions keep up the good work
I appreciate yarnhub , simple history and The Front more as it displays good quality animations 🙌🙌🙌
Yes the front is also amazing
"Thats nasty. You nasty."
- Razzbowski
This legitimately made me sick
Henry's obesity hastened his death at the age of 55, on 28 January 1547 in the Palace of Whitehall, on what would have been his father's 90th birthday. The tomb he had planned (with components taken from the tomb intended for Cardinal Wolsey) was only partly constructed and was never completed.
"Ladies and gentlemen, grab ur snacks, popcorn, slushies, and be ready for the UKs most rotten men" -Simple history
Women too.
ayy i remember you from the live chat
England is a swampy and rainy island it can't be gracious people living on it in medieval times. As always english said it was the French that was dirty and ate frogs to discredits the French but it was them.
@@ommsterlitz1805 being called rotten by others due to your overwhelming success and their jealously probably didn’t matter much to them IMO
Sounds like something from horrible histories
2:38 mukbangs be like
Lmao
Man, the sound effects in this video are killing me
These people just seem like a-holes. Thank you for giving me a look into the grosser and funnier side of history!!!
i concur with your assessment
Certain groups of people are indeed a-holes.
They had absolute power and didn't have to care about being nice to anyone, except other nobles and royalty. You can't buy class.
Really isn’t that much different than today tbh
Fun fact about England is the place names often give clues as to how the place was formed. Wimborne minster comes from the Anglo Saxon wimburna meaning stream and minster meaning monastery. So it's a town by a stream with a monastery. Wimborne minster is where Henry VII's mother is from so it seemed a relevant allegory
Well I guess it isn't too hard to figure out how they got the name cockermouth then 🤣
@@MrTheHillfolk at the mouth of the river cocker I couldn't possibly fathom another reason for such a name
Damn, I didn't know William become, and when he fell off the house it's hilarious XD.
Love this vid! ✨
5:24
Face of concern
"What have i gotten my self into"
This is what happens when there's nobody to tell someone "no".
Never expected to see William the conqueror in the list
I would be getting this recommended now💀
the groom of the stools had it easy compared to the janitors at taco bell every tuesday
Right on time for the video. 😊❤️
Henry VIII looks higher than the stars
woah ur merch is really cool, I can’t believe i just noticed them!
God I really had to force myself to click this because of the thumbnail, but glad I did 😂
Everybody gangsta till people start making memes about old England’s history
When having the crap job makes really wealthy.
6:05 - “This role may seem foul and undesirable BUTT...”
0:05 I wasn’t looking that closely during this and I thought it was a steam library I was so confused lmao