If she went through abuse during her childhood that might explain why she was so protective of her child. Not only did they struggle to get pregnant, but she might've feared that something would happen to the child if she let her daughter out of her sight. It might sound irrational to keep the child from family, but if she was abused by close family that changes your entire world. Such a sad story, thank you for covering it Stephanie ❤
I was thinking the exact same thing!! The very people Lorie may have trusted as a child (family), could've abused her and she was concerned it could happen to her daughter. Who's to say that the uncle who saw nothing wrong with the family wasn't an abuser as well.
I'm not sure if anyone has bought this up yet, but when Stephanie mentioned Lori's love for tea parties and the easy bake oven, I instantly thought about an abused child when they grow up and can sometimes regress, or want things they weren't allowed as a child, or more happier times as a child. I don't know, I just had a feeling.
I also thought that maybe both her and her husband could be somewhere on the autism spectrum….the whole not preferring to socialize etc. Obviously I can’t make a diagnosis as a special Ed teacher or otherwise just going on what was reported 😊
Sounds like an introvert to me. Both my wife and I are introverts and we'd much rather be on the computer (preferably playing co-op games together) than go out and socialize. We still socialize at times because it's "expected" and people think you're a weirdo if you don't want to waste time having ridiculously inane small talk, but unfortunately the word is make for extroverts.
I second this. Stephanie always does such an amazing job of capturing the soul of a person and making you see them as a friend or loved one. I feel incredibly sad for Lori she clearly experienced something traumatic and was trying to disassociate from it and live a new life. I hope her daughter grows up knowing how much her mother loved her 💗 and the family of Blake realise this poor woman was just trying to live a peaceful life.
I was a horribly abused child. I can empathize with a lot of Lori's decisions. The mind of a severly abused/neglected child doesn't work the same as everyone elses.
Same!! Lori’s choices didn’t seem weird to me at all. I’m always nagging my husband to move away from his family 😅 but I was horribly abused as a child and family dynamics make me insane
ANEN! That’s exactly what I jumped to, I was not as smart as Lori and my abusive family managed to track me down after my second marriage. Hubby’s lovely dad told me ‘I must give them a chance’ and for the next 7 yrs they made my life miserable. Wish I’d been as smart as Lori.
The lack of compassion towards this woman from everyone around her is baffling. Clearly this was a good person looking for her happy ending only to end up so desperately alone. I can attest that in-laws can drive you mad, but she clearly was even more sensitive to these interactions with in-laws. Rest In Peace Lori
There was a long time in my own life where I lamented what I perceived to be a lack of compassion in my own life. It wasn't until I went and gave compassion to others, without expecting anything in return, that I finally began to get some of this for myself
Imo they were narcassistic even in death they ran a smear campaign. I am certain they were gaslighting her and abusing her! She seemed to suffer from cptsd, and they capitalized on the control of their son to divide and abuse her! My sister went through this and it was like she was used for breeding. They would spread rumors she had post partum; they would come in her room and try to take my newborn nephew from her stating she needed the rest. It was gross. Unpopular opinion but think about it why would a grown man move back in with his parents if he and his wife are having issues because of his parents? They even took her child on the holiday and left her out. They weren't afraid of her. Classic narcassistic move she probably stopped repressing her emotions and realized what was going on an flipped out! Interested to know what texts she sent them and I am certain just like the letter she wrote to her husband; they made it more than it was. Her husband was the golden child, and a coward.
@Charissa I agree. It’s so sad the husband didn’t stand up to his family for his wife’s sake. Clearly the child was loved and wasn’t being hurt, so why the need to drive her out? She was a great mom and devoted wife. What more could the in laws want?? It was their selfish need to “rule” over them that really threw her over the edge. As a mom of boys, once my sons pick a partner, I will step aside and let them live their lives. I will fully support them in whatever they choose to do, but will never interfere in their marriages.
@@rebecastevens8892 I am with you! I believe she was driven to take her life and I hold them responsible! Why would a mother that protective end up leaving her daughter? She was made to believe she was the problem and they will not they away with it. She was not crazy or cold she was being abused and probably didn't even realize it because of the insidious nature of narcassistic abuse. I am telling you it is that bad! Yes, they used her husband for triangulation! Any mother would want to protect their child and may overstep but they self correct, but narcassitic mothers view their children as objects for their pleasure. That little girl is guaranteed believing her mom was an evil person! Yeah, the husband is a coward but also a victim. They make me the most angry because the parents would never get that far, any narcassist wouldn't get that far without their puppets and enablers.
"Let people have their secrets" THIS. Yes, not everyone or anyone has to know everything. Too bad some of the folks involved didn't look for opportunities to just help.
Sure but obviously if it is causing an issue in your marriage you can give some explanation so that people who are suspicious can understand. People deserve some kind of explanation. She could have said well I had a very traumatic experience with my parents and I left home. That wpuld be enough. But you can't expect people to welcome you when you are pushing them away.and keeping them from their grandkid. I have in law issues so I understand but she wasn't giving and you can't be that way in a give and take relationship. I'm am betting she had some kind of mental issue from what ever happened. He apparently was tired of her craziness. With no explanation I dont blame him. They just wanted their son to be ok. You never know woth people these days.
@@summerjohnston5350 I see your point, but I think the only person who truly deserved an explanation from her was the husband as they are the only two people in the marriage. She didn’t have to explain anything to the in-laws. I wonder if she was fully aware of the family dynamic that she was marrying into. I didn’t realize how close my husband’s family was until after we got married and I found them to be very overwhelming and sometimes intrusive for the first couple of years.
If she wants any kind of good relationship with the in laws then they deserve some kind of an explanation too. Otherwise you can't blame them for treating her the way they did.
@@summerjohnston5350 Actually, they didn't "deserve" an explanation of why she was who she was. Also, during the marriage, there was no indicator that she was a danger to anyone. Further, giving them some information might seem like a rational thing to do. But fear is not rational, especially if there are possible mental health issues and/or past trauma that wasn't properly addressed/treated. Freezing up and shutting down is a defense mechanism, and one that shouldn't be difficult for others to pick up on. It doesn't sound like she was being evasive or "fishy" as in she'd done something wrong in her past.
I think in the end Lori wanted her husband and daughter to know who she was. If she didn't, I think she would've destroyed her box and everything in it.
I agree, In my opinion that is likely part of the reason she asked in her letter to her husband that he alone clean out their house... Just heartbreaking....
Another signal was her never letting go of her daughter, while even going to the bathroom. When I was seven I was sexually assaulted by a family friend. My dad never treated me the same. When my youngest was turning eight I was an absolute mess. I could not figure out why. I had a wonderful female minister in my life who ran a CR, Celebrate Recovery, group. She gently worked me through the why of it. Because I was emotionally stuck as a seven year old, I didn’t know what to do when my youngest was turning right. It’s amazing what the brain does to protect you. What was not given to this gentle soul of a woman was generous kudos on getting through her GED and bachelors degree. Making a life on her own. My heart breaks for her, she is now free, but she should be here with her family, her child. Thank you for always showing compassion to those that appear selfish to others, ill intended to others, malicious to others, without knowledge of the person. So sad and incredibly frustrating.
This really resonates with me, I suffered a similar kind of abuse as you and hearing the way that Lori was protective of her child immediately made me think that she was afraid of some harm that was done to her would be done to her child.
The level of entitlement everyone felt is truly baffling. To Lori's daughter, to her life, to everything. Especially the way she was treated after she had her baby and began showing red flags for a postpartum mental health condition. Or just hating her terrible in-laws, which is also valid. But all they could focus on was not being able to hold the baby. God forbid. It breaks my heart that no one even thought to try and get her help or support or even basic kindness and understanding after describing her as "unhinged.
This right here, combine all of this with a likely traumatic childhood...it's just so sad. I grew up near Longview, and I can attest to the fact that people with old money down there (shit poor or rich tbh) really will treat people they dislike just like this. It's just so sad.
THIS. my family on my mothers side wonders why I don't come anymore to dinner or family events when they make me feel so small and like I dont exist and they have better family members to talk to.
Doesn’t sound like they were like that to begin with though. They wanted to meet her but she was dismissive and standoffish at them trying to know her.
@@piperjaycie exactly! I don’t understand the comments section. I think since Stephanie feels such empathy for her, that people are ignoring that she really was not who she said she was. If my daughter’s new dude was acting stand-off-ish and I sensed that something is wrong, I’d be scared for my daughter! She was hiding a big secret AND she acted like it. So his family is sooooo wrong for not liking her for their son?
@@cltaylor8490 I agree. I’m so confused by this comment section. If a mystery like this with a family member dropped in my lap, I would want to know who she was too. And they did try to include her in the family, but she was the one who was stand offish. I don’t get all the hate being directed toward the Ruff family at all.
When you were reading the letter and you said, "Take care of her" I completely lost it. I had postpartum depression, which I believe she did as well, and I remember writing out my suicide note to my husband. I wrote the exact same thing and begged him to take care of our daughter. This was such a sad video and you did a great job with all of the information.
@@KikiW89I don't know that that's true. It can happen to anyone. Hell, I developed PPD before I even left the hospital. PPD isn't cured by having someone to help. I highly doubt that would have helped in this situation. I would almost bet that having the baby out of her sight would make things worse.
They spent all that time and money only to find out the only thing she was hiding was a bad childhood. This family is disgusting and I am truly hoping that Kimberly’s daughter is doing good today.
@@gwenjackson8583 it’s disgusting how they painted this woman as anything and everything that she isn’t. She hid an abusive past and they acted like she was a murderer. Then they disguised their malice as concern for their granddaughter. That is what makes them disgusting.
What did they claim about her exactly? What did they paint her as? The family had concerns that she was lying about things like her name, age, and past. I didn’t hear Stephanie mention any other specific claims but maybe I missed something.
@@paigebrown8743 how is that any of their business? It's up to her daughters father not his insensitive family. I can only imagine how they are bad mouthing the mother to her daughter trying to make her think she was a bad person.
No murder. But a brilliant character analysis and deep sympathy for this sweet, troubled soul. This is different, like the Columbo episode where he rescues a kidnap victim. But wonderfully conceived and executed, thank you.
wow this family did the precise thing Lori did not want - totally outed her and publiscied her personal information. thanks guys, hope you're all so proud of yourself. hope her husband gets a pair of balls and some communications skills.
The fact that he seemed to let his family run his life and he let his brother speak for him irritated me. He needs to act like an adult and take care of his own affairs.
When my last son was born, I had this weird feeling that something terrible was going to happen. I remember constantly needing to be able to see him. I only let my mom help with him overnight one night because I had a migrane. I'm wondering if she also had a form of postpartum depression, it's not always crying or being angry for no reason.
That certainly sounds plausible. I had thought that as well. I’m sorry that you went through that. I’m wondering if she was in protective mode because something happened to her. By being so possessive did she think she could protect her daughter from the same fate?
@@betterwiththeirish that’s exactly what I was thinking. Her determination to protect her baby from anything and anyone may be a little clue about something traumatic from Lori’s childhood. This story is so very sad and totally could have been prevented if people just gave her the space and time she desperately needed.
On the flip side this woman had fertility issues with multiple losses. I myself struggled with fertility, it took me 7 years to have a baby. She was my first and I was so scared of previous loss and how hard it was to get her that I would never let her out of my sight. It wasn’t ppd it was just a result of the amount of effort and loss experienced before having her
Some may not agree, but if this family was that hateful AFTER her death & speaking ill of her, I cannot imagine how they were while she was around. This story is absolutely heartbreaking. Just wow💔
I feel so terribly bad for her and the difficult life she must have led. How painful and traumatic. She was just trying to protect herself, her marriage, and her child, but ended up losing everything. Those of us that have been through trauma pull back even more when others try to bully past our boundaries. I'm so sad for her.
@@thedisobedientdaughter yes. I'm glad somebody gets it. It breaks my heart to see so many people blaming her for being "cold". She sounded like a very traumatized, introverted person. It can take a lot for someone who has suffered trauma/abuse/neglect to warm up to others or trust them. It's really awful that her husband's family always assumed the absolute worst of her. They accused her of being some sort of awful horrible evil criminal when in reality she was just a scarred, damaged person running from a painful past.
It’s amazing to me that Stephanie spoke more kindly about Lori than people who knew her. Stephanie - you respectfully told Lori’s story is a way her daughter can even watch one day & you should feel really good about that. Hugs!
Say it with me: “what you see, isn’t always the truth” Side note: all those weird quirks she was criticized by her in laws for were actually her mental scars of childhood trauma most likely
As an introvert, I can relate to her taking naps during family holidays. My immediate family know I may excuse myself for a few 20-30 minutes to recharge, once my guest s are settled. Otherwise, I am a burnt out agitated crab. She may have been on the ASD. Maybe she was suffering complex PTSD or trauma from abandonment or abuse. Some people only need one or two people in their life that really love and accept them. Not all of us need to be adored and validated all the time....that's called narcissism. She found her guy, had the baby, and lost both. She ran out of road-very sad. Her letter said it all. RIP.
I thought Stephanie could easily have been describing me for a bit there, I'm on the spectrum (ASD) and have CPTSD, depression, anxiety from childhood abuse and trauma, I also had fertility issues and severe endometriosis for decades until I had my miracle boy when I was 42yo, (I also suffered Post-Natal Depression) and he was 13 weeks premmie but thankfully a beautiful 16 yo now, I've been blessed. I spent all my adult years moving around and staying interstate from my family, all but my mother (the worst) have died. Yes, my heart breaks for Kimberley/Becky/Lori😢💔
I'm 24 minutes in, and all I need to know about this family is that they fought to make sure all nine of their grandchildren were at their own Christmas and Lori was left alone. Clearly Lori is not the only one who was "possessive". This is a family that was so afraid that their son would be turned against them that they sent his brother into their marriage counseling sessions to advocate for the family. The divorce wasn't even finalized yet and that family made sure he was already out of his house and spending Christmas with them instead letting him have one Christmas with his new baby and wife. the divorce was already going through but they still didn't even want to extend an invite to her. This is really sad. My friend is first generation Canadian Korean and her parents spent most of the holidays working and not doing a whole lot of family stuff and her husband comes from a very close family who does a lot of stuff around the holidays and they do a lot together. It was a huge adjustment for her to be in a family that was so involved in her life and she often felt like they were overstepping their boundaries. 10 years later and she has adjusted and appreciate everything they do for her and how much they love and care for her and her family but it's not an easy switch to make. It's really frustrating that these people were so insensitive to her. Edit: well I'm at the end of the video and I can say the disrespect that this family showed her in death is public. So can I imagine the disrespect they showed her in life was worse. They went through her things after she asked her husband to make sure they didn't do that. Now he's greiving her, he has a little girl without a mom and his family is steam rolling over him and saying none of us are going to let you respect her wishes. The excuse of the daughter finding out something is bullshit she was still a child when this happened! They didn't even wait until the child was older they started prying immediately after her death. They probably didn't LET their son enter the home encase he found something and didn't reveal it to them. They didn't want the guilt and shame that they should have felt for literally pushing their daughter in law over the edge. They didn't want the son's blame, they didn't want the granddaughter's blame. So they went on the attack immediately to try and destroy her character. What a bunch of assholes. And using their grandaughter's DNA to find her is beyond sick.
100000% This is me. It comes from a deep fear of the reality that the people that you were supposed to trust and who were supposed to love you and protect you hurt you.
@@mlwsmp how do you know? Why are you protecting someone who neglected her kid to get at her husband and who worried more about getting him back than taking care of her own child to the point that and killed herself somewhere that had a high likelihood he’d daughter would witness the act or the result, a gruesome and awful thing to see? She’s not evil. Obviously she had trauma but she then caused it too. The family isn’t perfect but she alienated them. Just based on facts. She alienated them from herself, day 1, her husband and daughter. How would you react to that? I don’t think I’d enjoy that too much. Just saying. She had huge issues that she hid from Blake. What exactly did she expect to happen?
I changed all 3 of my names at age 40. I use the former names as curse words now. It was due to being adopted and abused. I left my prior life behind. May God bless Kimberly as whatever hurt was very deep.
Nothing infuriates me more than child abuse. I had to witness my brother go through it and it's the worst memory in my childhood. I wish society made child abuse prevention a higher priority.
I feel so much empathy for Lori. Whatever happened to her was life-alteringly horrible, and she needed to start over. When you start over, you don’t have to be ‘that girl’ anymore. People only get to know the information you give them. There are no preconceived judgements attached to your name. I hope Lori found peace, and I say fuck anyone who thinks she deserves otherwise.
There's not one shred of evidence that points to anything traumatic happening to her in her childhood. That's 100% speculation. Take that away and the story is a lot less sad and a lot more...shitty.
@@breezyncj yea well it’s her story and you’re not entitled to know anything about her. It’s shitty what this family did to her. The fact you think everyone should be entitled to others secrets is… shitty.
As someone dealing with bipolar disorder and ptsd I found the end about her letter to her husband so heartbreaking because I know how it feels to feel like you’re more of a disturbance or hinderance to your husband and kids than a good thing. I struggle every day so my heart breaks for her.
Survivors of childhood abuse can often be hyper-protective of their children. I know that part of my choice not to have kids is because I'm too scared that they'll experience some of the same pain I did in my family.
Being tortured as a child caused me , protecting my children to the point of being considered a demon ... a female in law slapped her in the mouth ...and let's just say the court order for me , says to never speak to them again .. I violated it many times . I protected my children from attacks or evil in the world at all attacks
Whoa... I have suspicions that my mother was abused as a child. My parents were hyper-protectove of me. I wasn't allowed to go in the front yard alone until I was 16. I was only allowed to go out in public if my brother was with me until I was 18.
A really tragic tale; she was clearly damaged and her husband walking out was a repetition of what she was striving to avoid, being left alone. It's one of the strange paradoxes of people that we often end up running towards exactly what we are running away from.
I understand what you're saying but I don't feel like her husband just walked out on her. She really did push him to leave by isolating him & their daughter. Talking down about everyone he loved. She was trying to force a situation where it was only the 3 of them with no friends or family involved in their lives. I think she was very unstable and needed a lot of help. This is a very tragic story. 😔
@@crazydaisyog3984 You are right, but that's the issue I suspect at the heart of this. I am a mathematician not a psychologist, but IMO she was desperately trying to secure stability by isolating herself on an island she felt secure with, her husband and daughter. Again, it's the paradox that she created the very situation she was trying to avoid and drove her husband away unintentionally. But losing control, and I mean that in its most benevolent sense, of her daughter must have been devastating.
Thank you so much for treating this woman with respect and compassion. This story really is heart wrenching isn’t it? This girl was so determined to wipe her past away that when the opportunity to receive a substantial inheritance ( which would have helped a struggling teenager living all alone) was presented she not only didn’t accept it, she soon after made sure she acquired a completely different identity. Whatever happened, it must have been something extremely traumatic for young Kimberly. To completely cut ties with her sister and mother at such a young age is very telling. It must have been so lonely for her. All those years having no one. Christmas and birthdays, birthdays only she knew of, with nobody to share with. It’s heartbreaking that the one person she actually let in soon left her. And her overly protective behavior with her child may very well be because she was aware of the dangers in the world for a child. I can’t imagine what happened to this woman as a child. The tea parties and easy bake oven were red flags that made me think childhood stolen by abuse. I have the feeling her father was a very abusive, sick person. And if she cut ties with her mother so easily, I wonder if she knew and ignored it and perhaps her step father was abusive as well. Her mother must’ve done something. This whole story is so sad. To finally have a family and have it pulled away from her must have been too painful. May she Rest In Peace finally.
I feel awful that all the things she wanted kept secret are out, I think we should call and remember as Lori because that's what she wanted. Blake's family sucks for doing this to her.
yeah, I especially empathize because I feel like she could be me, I'm also estranged from my family due to trauma and abuse, and I can't do the whole family things with ease and may come off as weird and standoffish to people, and I understand deep, deep sadness as well
I honestly felt it was very weird that his family insisted so much on digging into this as if it were as important as solving a murder...like she was some dangerous criminal! I would hope they feel kind of dumb with the anti-climatic conclusion but with how self-important they are I'm sure they're gloating about being "right" about her hiding something. I want to keep calling her Lori too because that's what she wanted to be known as.
This is a crazy sad story. Drives me crazy when in laws think they have a say in relationships, and that part about them staying in their lane was on point! I truly hope your holiday's get better and you can rest and enjoy the Christmas season with your family❤
If she was abused as a child it explains the protectiveness she had towards her daughter. It could also explain the miscarriages - I cant remember where I read the study but there have been theoretical links between some abuse and fertility issues as an adult.
yep! stress ages the body literally. telomeres shrink. it would make her body age much faster, making her reproductive system also age. it can be reversed when people receive adequate therapy and validation and de-stress but she clearly didnt get that privilege. very sad
I personally know someone who has fertility issues as a result of abuse. She and her husband tried for years before she was able to successfully conceive their miracle baby. This whole story is horrendous. I can see the scars of her trauma in so many places as Stephanie discusses her behaviors.
This is how I felt during my 9 year marriage. First time meeting my ex’s mom, she let me know I wasn’t up to her standard. She kept doing it all 9 years. I was too quiet, I needed too much space, I wasn’t educated enough, I wouldn’t be a good mother. She told my ex I’d make his life hard due to being abused as a child and that I had no father so I’d have issues. It makes you so deeply depressed and helpless because you forget you are worthy of a good life.
Sounds like she totally lacks empathy and kindness 🤮 it's people like that who I consider the least worthy of our time and energy tbh. Don't let her convince you it's the other way around 💖
That’s awful but there’s no evidence they were this bad to her. She was unhinged from the get go. There’s a real possibility she exaggerated a lot of this maltreatment. Nobody believes Charles Manson with essentially the same types of claims of his mom. I wonder why…
If I meets someone's parents and they do not like me or I do not like them we are not going to work out. They will always pick there parents I can't blame anyone for that.
the strangest thing about this is that her in laws had such a dislike for her, that one would assume they would be relieved that she was no longer around, yet they took the time and money to do a complete background investigation on her, essentially propelling her into posthumous notoriety. they didn’t need to do all of that to protect their grand daughter.
Even if they hated her they would still want to investigate. After all, they wanted to know who they had been dealing with, if their suspicions had been justified. And they have a grandchild who will want answers one day. Which this woman left them with. It honestly disgusts me.
I am glad they did the research. I see nothing wrong with that. In the end of the day you are living with one person for the next ten/twenty years and suddenly (or even from the begging you fell something's off) you understand that they were not completly honest with you..what is wrong with searching the truth? I think Blake and their daughter deserve it. And I see nothing wrong when you have your doubts about someone or something , to discover the truth about them.
I hope they became fixated with her history because they were eaten alive with guilt about how they had treated their son's wife, and the mother of their granddaughter.
When someone is so incredibly protective of their child they deserve compassion and understanding. Obviously there is a reason for a person to be this way. Most often it’s because of abuse that was experienced and as a parent we will do whatever is possible to shield and protect our children from being victims as well. I know it’s very scary as a parent that has been through a lot when I was younger, and I was ferociously protective and vigilant. My heart goes out to this woman.
I feel ya girl. Everyone thinks December is such a happy month because of the holidays but for some of us it's actually a really emotionally difficult time of the year. December is very bitter sweet for me as well. Stay strong, stay beautiful and you are amazing!
same on the bittersweet part, I'm quite alone in the world due to cutting ties with toxic people throughout the years, but I do have friends and that's a real blessing, and I'm finally completely independent, but there is a sadness definitely
To me, her behavior reminds me of people I know who were sexually abused as children. Very quiet, not very social, on edge all the time, and swinging back and forth between "promiscuous behavior" (stripping and breast implants) and extreme modesty. Having a daughter probably triggered every fear in her that someone would harm her in the same way, especially if she was abused by a family member. When she received the letter from her father's estate, I wouldn't be surprised if she thought it was a trick to get her back to him so he could harm her in some way. That's just how all of this comes across to me. If she never processed the things that happened to her (and it seems that she really didn't), she likely blamed herself for any kind of trauma and took extreme precaution to avoid being vulnerable with anyone. And when the person she was the most vulnerable with, her husband, left, she probably blamed herself all over again. It's absolutely tragic. And I feel so much sadness for her daughter who didn't get to really know her mom.
@@plynn136 How can you say "she wasn't mother material", you don't know her. Even thou I agree that she would have needed help she could actually be a good mother. This case strikes home to me too near because I lived in an orphanage for the first 6 month of my life and than got adopted by , as we would say now, quite abusive parents (not sexually, but I was beaten on a regulare basis) and I never could connect emotionally with my inlaws. I still feel, that I don't quite understand the concept of "relationship" and "family". Don't get me wrong, i would go to hell and back for my children and my grandson. So I seem to be what you'd call "not mother material" . But still I brought up my children to be wonderful people who are sucsessful in life and loved by everyone who knows them. Please forgive my mistakes, English isn't my first language
@@madhattie2952 Too many lies and secrets. She needed to seek and accept real help before becoming a wife and mother. Obviously I did not know her-did you? I am allowed to have my opinion just like you. No sermons needed.
This is so sad. This woman did NOT deserve what she went through. I don’t think she was crazy I think she was in great pain grieving a relationship that was lost. She obviously loved him more than he ever did.
Part of what makes her pain so much is the idea that she loves her husband so he is obligated to love her back. Just because someone wants to be in a relationship with you did not obligated you to want to be in a relationship with them. I wish she could have got competent help, not just some neighbor preacher. Bottom line..... Just because you want something doesn't mean you have a right to it.
I don't agree with that. She did not put her husband, whom she loved so much, in an easy position. She isolated him from his family and basically asked to choose between her and his parents and siblings. I understand being private and not liking you in-laws, but if you love and respect your spouse you need to compromise, or the relationship will fall apart. If he did not love her anymore, he was not obligated to stay, nodoby is. She needed professional help to deal with the divorce.
@@julzmgrforll7278 well, you are right to a degree, but he did marry her and had a child with her, so, that would imply he did want a relationship with her....I think her in-laws were cruel, even a strong, well adjusted people would have trouble withy such family.
Dear Stephanie, thank you for giving this poor, incredibly lonely person the love and compassion she deserved. God only knows what she had been through. It is obvious to me that she was terribly afraid. She is now in a place of eternal love with the angels. This story touched me deeply. The first week of December is particularly hard for me too. But joy will return.
Thank you Stephanie. You know being a mom is hard. The constant chores on top of working full time. The need to be loving and supportive even if you feel like shit. Constantly being tired. I am so grateful to you for the work you do. I always put an earbud in and fold laundry or whatever chore I am working on. It's a little escape.
I feel you on this time of year being difficult. When you have children too, all energy seems to go into not letting them see how depressed/down you feel when they’re so giddy and excited for Santa 🖤
This is such a sad story. It's true, everyone has their secrets and if it's not hurting anyone then let them keep those secrets, it's not anyone's business.
This is begging the question. The fact that she stole identities and lied about where she was from means they had good reason to believe those secrets did hurt someone.
She stole identities which hurts the victim. She wouldn’t reveal a single thing about herself to anyone especially her husband which hurts him and the marriage. Sometimes secrets do hurt. Those ones are the basis of trust in a relationship. She held her very identity back so gave nothing and was surprised her marriage failed because her husband got sick of it? She didn’t give it her all.
This is why I tune into your videos every week. You’re transparent, caring and relatable. Take care of yourself, a lot of us listeners are there too and your videos help me more than you know.
I’m sorry it ended like that; you can tell she really tried to make a better life and give her child what she didn’t have. She did the best she could; peace to her and her family.
This whole time I was thinking she ran because she was sexually abused by an immediate family member that lived in her home, and never looked back or contacted her family because they probably knew what was happening and she felt didn’t protect her. When you got to the part where she was notified her father died and left her $84k and she didn’t respond, moved and changed her identity afterwards, screams her father abused her and she wanted nothing of or from him.
Her story is really very sad - she clearly had some kind of trauma. She wanted a fresh start but found her way into a family that clearly didnt like her and wanted to find anything on her… i hope Blake tells her daughter her mother loved her. The extracts of her letter to him made me cry. I think Lori was lonely and wanted to live a life she didnt have before
I'm just down the road from Longview and had not heard about this. Such a sad story. Thank you for covering it. Also, give yourself lots of grace during this time. We love you, girl!
I live 20 minutes from Longview, there almost every weekend! Never heard of this either. But it's cool to see more people from around here listening to Stephanie 🥰
Wow! I’ve never watched your channel before and am dumbfounded by your observations and objective approach to a complex subject matter. Very rare in my experience. Thank you! Much success to you.
I think with how understanding Blake was, she could have opened up to him even just a little and he wouldn’t have left her because he would have understood where she was coming from. He would have probably even got her help.
I believe she was abused at a very early age, maybe even witness her sister being abused as well, the overprotectiveness over her baby makes me think it was maybe her dad, so she felt she couldn't trust anybody with her little girl. This is very sad i wish I could hug her 😔
The toughest thing about child abuse is when it happens BEFORE words are used. I knew a 9 year old that the minute I met her that ‘she wasn’t there’ and that impression would be reiterated by a close friend, ‘No one is home’ is how she described it.
I actually think it was a grandparent or uncle/aunt. Not that her dad couldn't have also abused her, but you don't go into hiding after someone is dead. You go into hiding after you're discovered and you think someone will come for you.
@@katelyn3490 I agree that’s usually the case. I knew someone who changed their name because, ‘it was his fathers name so every time someone called his name, he thought of his father, who he despised! The fact that his father was already dead didn’t change the way he felt about having “his name”… He wasn’t ever hiding from anyone. He just wanted to change his name to separate himself from his father & his family tree. He changed his name to his mothers maiden name. He adored his maternal grandfather…🙂
When you mentioned she would go online and do her in laws genealogy when she was with them, it made me wonder if (assuming she had been abused) she was trying to figure out members of her new family and any deviants, etc she should be on the “look out” for
As a survivor of csa, I have cut all contact with the side of my family that perpetrated and coverd up my abuse. As a child ( I did not find this out until I was an adult) that side of my family had been stalking me. From age 5- 18. I had to change why last name as well. My mum had to set up fake PO boxes and pretend we lived in a different city. We even moved to the country to escape them. I did not find any of this out until I was 27 and going through my mother's paperwork. As she had just passed away. To this day at age 37, I am still looking over my shoulder for that side of the family. Laurie definitely was escaping abuse. Most survivor's I know have tried to disappear. As most csa abuses have narssist traits, the view you as there property. And will often try to keep tabs on you. It is horrific. And a as a child it was extremely traumatising to know that even after CPS stopped the abuse, I was still not safe.
I feel such a connection to this woman. It's absolutely heartbreaking and I feel you where spot on about the affects of childhood trauma and Blakes family 😢.
I just bawled my eyes out! That poor woman. I immediately felt her. I love your style. Unapologetically authentic! Me freaking too! Thank you for another amazing story.
My father died on xmas eve when I was in my early twenties. Every year, I still find myself, unplanned, all of a sudden crying alone somewhere for just a few minutes. I miss him and xmas was the best time
That's not what boundaries means. A husband is entitled to know who he is marrying...saying "I can't tell you, I have boundaries" is ridiculous. She was the one crossing boundaries with her overly possessive behavior of both her husband and child. She was very rude to the family.
I should have been more enlightened in my response. I believe in total honesty with my spouse. Her boundaries, in regards to in-laws, needed to be respected. But I do believe that her being so possessive in regards to the child would made a divorce inevitable.
I like the way you stood up for Lori. I live in Texas and they are SO judgmental and harsh out here if you don't fit how they want you to. They're also very sexist which leads to people suspecting the worst about women, especially women who seem too independent and individualistic.
I feel like this should hit close to home for more of us than we expect and also leave us with a lesson we can all keep with us. I know i personally have had those days where i wanted to just run away and change my name and literally start a whole new life. She actually did it. She did that one thing that everyone thinks about at least once. A totally fresh slate. And even with a totally fresh slate, that grass wasnt greener on the other side. It was just a different version of her fears and troubles and anxieties. Really sad. I hope that little girl has found the happiness her mom was searching for❤
December is very hard for my daughter & I both. Her father, the love of my life and high school sweetheart took his life on December 15th.. this will be 3 years this year and we're finding it's the hardest thus far. Love & miss him so much every second of every day 💔
God have mercy on Kimberly. What a beautiful soul. This made me cry as well, Stephanie. As a victim of childhood traumas this hit very hard. This is one of the best videos you have put together.
Listening while getting ready this morning, and when you were like "she shot herself in the head" I was like oh shit! That's not where I thought this was going! 😳
I feel ya girl. I deactivated my social media. My mom passed away this year and this Christmas doesn’t feel so christmasy. I honestly can’t look at all the memories popping up.
My heart goes out to Lori/Kimberly and her daughter. Clearly, she wanted to just live her best life, but couldn't figure out the best way to go about it. I very much hope her father's inheritance went to her daughter after they figured out who she was. It very much freaked me out when you talked about her parents... my mom's name is Deanna, my dad's name is Jim, and my husband is a firefighter. I was like "stop this right now." Amazing video as always, Stephanie.
December and Christmas are a trigger for more people than you know. It's when more people suicide and are deeply depressed. Movies show us happy families, parties and fun but it's not like that for many people it's a difficult time. Love and look after yourself and anyone else who feels this do the same. Our mental health is so important ❤❤
Pausing to say I 100000% agree with the mini entitlement rant. I too, have been seeing this characteristic in alot of people, mostly family members, and it's been Making me feel some way.
This case just makes me feel bad. It’s sad they assumed she must have been a criminal on the run and looking for a salacious story, not an abuse victim. People don’t change their identity for no reason-and sometimes it’s a good reason.
Yes, but many criminals on the run change their identity as well-- no one had any way of knowing why she changed her identity-- it could very conceivably been for a nefarious reason. We have heard of many cases in which criminals of various kinds have moved states and changed their names to evade capture.
She did not seem wicked but had psychiatric issues and sounds it was actually his family’s “self-fulfilling prophecy” that it went this way. Even though she might be unlikeable, they sure made a bad life even worse, even wretched. Say a prayer at least for that unfortunate soul. For such devoted church-goers, they aren’t as far off as the rest of us sinners. Hope she has love and peace where she is now. And also their bible says hell waits for torturers.
Stephanie I love ur videos U do a great job treating everyone in these stories as humans U don’t condone there behaviors but u see there history and maybe why they do what they do Keep it up Stephanie Ur my fav!
This is such a sad case, I could feel in your voice and expressions how sincere and genuine you felt towards Lori, thank you for providing such awesome content, and may Lori Rest In Peace.
This is the best video I've seen in a while about an unsolved mystery involving a false identity. Great Job Stephanie! I'm glued to this like a great book (I watch at 2x speed so unfortunately, I'm almost done. I don't want it to end because this is a awesome story)! I love Coffee and Crime Time!!! I'm an Aquarius, too! I have that same coffee mug in pink! 💗💗💗
This is easily the most heartbreaking case you’ve covered in some time. Lori escaped from a dysfunctional, abusive family only to find herself many years later enmeshed in another terrible family. The Ruffs are despicable. Blake likely was a bit beaten down by his family before he met Lori, so I am not going to blame him. It makes me feel so nauseous knowing the glee that the privileged Ruffs felt when they uncovered that Lori had fled a disturbing past. It’s as if they took pleasure in feeling that they had been vindicated. The only comforting thing in this story is knowing that her daughter will know the truth someday.
This is so bizarre. I feel really sad that her past is even known now. For her not to disclose it even in her last words speaks volumes. Also, Blake sounds like genuinely good man. I agree with you that it was the family that pushed him away.
You’re right, in-laws just don’t realize (or just don’t care...) how much they affect a marriage, whether it’s negatively or positively. I had a really hard time with my in-laws in the beginning and it definitely almost ruined my own marriage so I can totally understand Laurie’s pain and I feel so, so terrible for her and her daughter. This was a sad one for sure.
This case broke my heart!😭 her letter was so sad...😔 she was heart broken, i hope Blake tells her wonderful happy stories about her mother, and not bring up the past before he meet her...stay safe everyone and merry Christmas!
Personal mental health is important! We know your dedicated and you deserve a break too!! Everyone take care of yourselves and your loved ones this season ❤
I'm a new mom and I totally feel you on letting other people hold the baby to go to the bathroom and then stay in there for a while 😆 I'm currently in the bathroom doing my skincare and listening to your entire video :)
Feel happy that you can do this! I was always afraid and full of fear for my baby bc what I´ve experienced. As soon as he could speak and express himself, it got better.
I’m so grateful for your commentary. This case is so tragic and hits so hard, I’ve been crying through the whole thing. Thank you for your immense respect and humanity for the victims.
My father passed away on my wedding day--December 28, 2013. It is a difficult time for me, as well. However, I know the best way to honor him is to live the best possible life that I can. Much Love and Prayers Lifted...
When i was 17 my mom had a massive heart attack at 37 yrs old and died out ofnowhere no warning nothing i still have a hard time with it esp in december hope ur ok i love ur channel thanks for what u do seriously
I can empathize with your December blues… On November 30, 2018 my husband had a massive heart attack and after being on life-support for 19 days he died on December 19. Our granddaughter will be 11 December 22. I try to be strong and make the holiday season better for her. I love listening to you while I decorate the house for Christmas. Here’s to a better year in 2022!
This is one of the most interesting stories ive ever heard tbh. I've heard this story from other RUclipsrs but i wanna hear you retell it. Thank you for making this video and also making my day this early!
Hope this month gets better. As a ptsd sufferer with anorexia relapse all my traumas are around Xmas as a scared youth. Keep that head up. Sending whiskey wishes from Ireland ❤️🇮🇪🇮🇪
@@MeganVictoriaKearns my best friend who is American that I met online lives now in Ohio she’s obsessed with Ireland that’s how we met 😂🇮🇪🇮🇪 yeah I’m 41 3 sons 24,20 and 12 and relapsed the last 6 years. ❤️
This case is one of the saddest I’ve ever heard. It seems clear to me that she was running from something that remained a threat to her throughout her life. Maybe she was trafficked after running away from abuse and her life threatened? Changing her name twice would indicate to me that the threat was ongoing.
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If she went through abuse during her childhood that might explain why she was so protective of her child. Not only did they struggle to get pregnant, but she might've feared that something would happen to the child if she let her daughter out of her sight. It might sound irrational to keep the child from family, but if she was abused by close family that changes your entire world. Such a sad story, thank you for covering it Stephanie ❤
I was thinking the exact same thing!! The very people Lorie may have trusted as a child (family), could've abused her and she was concerned it could happen to her daughter. Who's to say that the uncle who saw nothing wrong with the family wasn't an abuser as well.
100% my thoughts!
My moms brother lived with us for a year. Member of law enforcement and a molester.
Badexamplename thats what i thought too.
I, too, thought this 😢
I'm not sure if anyone has bought this up yet, but when Stephanie mentioned Lori's love for tea parties and the easy bake oven, I instantly thought about an abused child when they grow up and can sometimes regress, or want things they weren't allowed as a child, or more happier times as a child. I don't know, I just had a feeling.
Yes that was absolutely my first thought
@@mumplaysthesims8396 mine as well.
Not my first thought and now my heart is broken. (That's not ridicule. You have an excellent point.)
I agree & I think Stephanie was trying to explain that towards the end
I also thought that maybe both her and her husband could be somewhere on the autism spectrum….the whole not preferring to socialize etc.
Obviously I can’t make a diagnosis as a special Ed teacher or otherwise just going on what was reported 😊
"Lori prefered to be on a computer than to socialize"
I mean....... can you blame her?
What a sad life we live in these days 🤦
People can be dreadful
Exactly what I said!!
Sounds like an introvert to me. Both my wife and I are introverts and we'd much rather be on the computer (preferably playing co-op games together) than go out and socialize. We still socialize at times because it's "expected" and people think you're a weirdo if you don't want to waste time having ridiculously inane small talk, but unfortunately the word is make for extroverts.
@@MikeTXBC That's exactly how I feel!!
You did a great job of humanizing rather than sensationalizing Lori's situation.
I love for that she such a great story teller makes u see the other side always!!
I second this. Stephanie always does such an amazing job of capturing the soul of a person and making you see them as a friend or loved one.
I feel incredibly sad for Lori she clearly experienced something traumatic and was trying to disassociate from it and live a new life. I hope her daughter grows up knowing how much her mother loved her 💗 and the family of Blake realise this poor woman was just trying to live a peaceful life.
Exactly why I love it here. And dont bother with other channels!
This is heartbreaking.
But disparaged the victim and those with mental illness/ suicidality and referred to her as "crazy desperate and deranged." She did nothing at all.
I was a horribly abused child. I can empathize with a lot of Lori's decisions. The mind of a severly abused/neglected child doesn't work the same as everyone elses.
100%
Same!! Lori’s choices didn’t seem weird to me at all. I’m always nagging my husband to move away from his family 😅 but I was horribly abused as a child and family dynamics make me insane
Ditto
ANEN! That’s exactly what I jumped to, I was not as smart as Lori and my abusive family managed to track me down after my second marriage. Hubby’s lovely dad told me ‘I must give them a chance’ and for the next 7 yrs they made my life miserable. Wish I’d been as smart as Lori.
I agree. From experience, it does something to you.
The lack of compassion towards this woman from everyone around her is baffling. Clearly this was a good person looking for her happy ending only to end up so desperately alone. I can attest that in-laws can drive you mad, but she clearly was even more sensitive to these interactions with in-laws. Rest In Peace Lori
There was a long time in my own life where I lamented what I perceived to be a lack of compassion in my own life. It wasn't until I went and gave compassion to others, without expecting anything in return, that I finally began to get some of this for myself
Imo they were narcassistic even in death they ran a smear campaign.
I am certain they were gaslighting her and abusing her! She seemed to suffer from cptsd, and they capitalized on the control of their son to divide and abuse her!
My sister went through this and it was like she was used for breeding. They would spread rumors she had post partum; they would come in her room and try to take my newborn nephew from her stating she needed the rest. It was gross.
Unpopular opinion but think about it why would a grown man move back in with his parents if he and his wife are having issues because of his parents? They even took her child on the holiday and left her out.
They weren't afraid of her. Classic narcassistic move she probably stopped repressing her emotions and realized what was going on an flipped out!
Interested to know what texts she sent them and I am certain just like the letter she wrote to her husband; they made it more than it was. Her husband was the golden child, and a coward.
@Charissa I agree. It’s so sad the husband didn’t stand up to his family for his wife’s sake. Clearly the child was loved and wasn’t being hurt, so why the need to drive her out? She was a great mom and devoted wife. What more could the in laws want?? It was their selfish need to “rule” over them that really threw her over the edge. As a mom of boys, once my sons pick a partner, I will step aside and let them live their lives. I will fully support them in whatever they choose to do, but will never interfere in their marriages.
@@rebecastevens8892 I am with you! I believe she was driven to take her life and I hold them responsible! Why would a mother that protective end up leaving her daughter? She was made to believe she was the problem and they will not they away with it.
She was not crazy or cold she was being abused and probably didn't even realize it because of the insidious nature of narcassistic abuse. I am telling you it is that bad!
Yes, they used her husband for triangulation!
Any mother would want to protect their child and may overstep but they self correct, but narcassitic mothers view their children as objects for their pleasure. That little girl is guaranteed believing her mom was an evil person!
Yeah, the husband is a coward but also a victim. They make me the most angry because the parents would never get that far, any narcassist wouldn't get that far without their puppets and enablers.
@@charissa6648 absolutely agree with you. His family sound toxic to me
"Let people have their secrets" THIS. Yes, not everyone or anyone has to know everything. Too bad some of the folks involved didn't look for opportunities to just help.
Unless it will make you a lot of money from google adsense lol
Sure but obviously if it is causing an issue in your marriage you can give some explanation so that people who are suspicious can understand. People deserve some kind of explanation. She could have said well I had a very traumatic experience with my parents and I left home. That wpuld be enough. But you can't expect people to welcome you when you are pushing them away.and keeping them from their grandkid. I have in law issues so I understand but she wasn't giving and you can't be that way in a give and take relationship. I'm am betting she had some kind of mental issue from what ever happened. He apparently was tired of her craziness. With no explanation I dont blame him. They just wanted their son to be ok. You never know woth people these days.
@@summerjohnston5350 I see your point, but I think the only person who truly deserved an explanation from her was the husband as they are the only two people in the marriage. She didn’t have to explain anything to the in-laws. I wonder if she was fully aware of the family dynamic that she was marrying into. I didn’t realize how close my husband’s family was until after we got married and I found them to be very overwhelming and sometimes intrusive for the first couple of years.
If she wants any kind of good relationship with the in laws then they deserve some kind of an explanation too. Otherwise you can't blame them for treating her the way they did.
@@summerjohnston5350 Actually, they didn't "deserve" an explanation of why she was who she was. Also, during the marriage, there was no indicator that she was a danger to anyone. Further, giving them some information might seem like a rational thing to do. But fear is not rational, especially if there are possible mental health issues and/or past trauma that wasn't properly addressed/treated. Freezing up and shutting down is a defense mechanism, and one that shouldn't be difficult for others to pick up on. It doesn't sound like she was being evasive or "fishy" as in she'd done something wrong in her past.
I think in the end Lori wanted her husband and daughter to know who she was. If she didn't, I think she would've destroyed her box and everything in it.
Possibly. Good point.
I think her husband and daughter would have understood, but she probably thought she wasn't good enough already so she didn't want them to find out.
I agree, In my opinion that is likely part of the reason she asked in her letter to her husband that he alone clean out their house... Just heartbreaking....
Maybe but I think she had mental illness more than the theory of abuse
if she'd have really trusted her husband she'd have told him everything, she's not innocent this was just as much her fault as the family's
Another signal was her never letting go of her daughter, while even going to the bathroom. When I was seven I was sexually assaulted by a family friend. My dad never treated me the same. When my youngest was turning eight I was an absolute mess. I could not figure out why. I had a wonderful female minister in my life who ran a CR, Celebrate Recovery, group. She gently worked me through the why of it. Because I was emotionally stuck as a seven year old, I didn’t know what to do when my youngest was turning right. It’s amazing what the brain does to protect you.
What was not given to this gentle soul of a woman was generous kudos on getting through her GED and bachelors degree. Making a life on her own. My heart breaks for her, she is now free, but she should be here with her family, her child.
Thank you for always showing compassion to those that appear selfish to others, ill intended to others, malicious to others, without knowledge of the person. So sad and incredibly frustrating.
This really resonates with me, I suffered a similar kind of abuse as you and hearing the way that Lori was protective of her child immediately made me think that she was afraid of some harm that was done to her would be done to her child.
I agree 100%!
The level of entitlement everyone felt is truly baffling. To Lori's daughter, to her life, to everything. Especially the way she was treated after she had her baby and began showing red flags for a postpartum mental health condition. Or just hating her terrible in-laws, which is also valid. But all they could focus on was not being able to hold the baby. God forbid. It breaks my heart that no one even thought to try and get her help or support or even basic kindness and understanding after describing her as "unhinged.
She didn't really give them the chance to embrace her tbh
And the in laws are entitled to know who they are letting into their home and who will be in their son's life, and by extension, theirs.
@@belladonna5904 to an extent yes, but not when they try and push her out after hes made his choice as an adult!
This right here, combine all of this with a likely traumatic childhood...it's just so sad. I grew up near Longview, and I can attest to the fact that people with old money down there (shit poor or rich tbh) really will treat people they dislike just like this. It's just so sad.
She sounds like she had suffered from depression the whole time
You can’t complain about your son’s wife not joining in family events, if you don’t make them feel welcome in the family!
Blake's family: "Who is she? What's she after? She acts so weird."
Also Blake's family: "Why doesn't she like being around us?"
THIS. my family on my mothers side wonders why I don't come anymore to dinner or family events when they make me feel so small and like I dont exist and they have better family members to talk to.
Doesn’t sound like they were like that to begin with though. They wanted to meet her but she was dismissive and standoffish at them trying to know her.
@@piperjaycie exactly! I don’t understand the comments section. I think since Stephanie feels such empathy for her, that people are ignoring that she really was not who she said she was.
If my daughter’s new dude was acting stand-off-ish and I sensed that something is wrong, I’d be scared for my daughter!
She was hiding a big secret AND she acted like it.
So his family is sooooo wrong for not liking her for their son?
@@cltaylor8490 I agree. I’m so confused by this comment section. If a mystery like this with a family member dropped in my lap, I would want to know who she was too. And they did try to include her in the family, but she was the one who was stand offish. I don’t get all the hate being directed toward the Ruff family at all.
When you were reading the letter and you said, "Take care of her" I completely lost it. I had postpartum depression, which I believe she did as well, and I remember writing out my suicide note to my husband. I wrote the exact same thing and begged him to take care of our daughter. This was such a sad video and you did a great job with all of the information.
But if she had Postpartum
Why she didn't want nobody to watch the baby? Usually when people get Postpartum
They don't have any help.
@@KikiW89I don't know that that's true. It can happen to anyone. Hell, I developed PPD before I even left the hospital. PPD isn't cured by having someone to help. I highly doubt that would have helped in this situation. I would almost bet that having the baby out of her sight would make things worse.
@@KikiW89 Yes this is true!
I hope you’re doing well now. ❤️
@@tracilord4854 opinion doesn’t make something true or fact. she obviously didn’t trust others with her baby, that doesn’t make PPD not real.
They spent all that time and money only to find out the only thing she was hiding was a bad childhood. This family is disgusting and I am truly hoping that Kimberly’s daughter is doing good today.
Why is that disgusting? I would have done the same.
@@gwenjackson8583 it’s disgusting how they painted this woman as anything and everything that she isn’t. She hid an abusive past and they acted like she was a murderer. Then they disguised their malice as concern for their granddaughter. That is what makes them disgusting.
What did they claim about her exactly? What did they paint her as? The family had concerns that she was lying about things like her name, age, and past. I didn’t hear Stephanie mention any other specific claims but maybe I missed something.
@@paigebrown8743 how is that any of their business? It's up to her daughters father not his insensitive family. I can only imagine how they are bad mouthing the mother to her daughter trying to make her think she was a bad person.
@@lenamcguire2659 I didn’t say it was their business…? I asked what they specifically claimed about her.
No murder. But a brilliant character analysis and deep sympathy for this sweet, troubled soul. This is different, like the Columbo episode where he rescues a kidnap victim. But wonderfully conceived and executed, thank you.
Kinda confused bc this is a suicide and not a murder, but i am here for it
Hi, would you mind telling me what the Columbo episode is called (the one you referenced)? Thanks. PS I did look b/f asking!
@@aliciamarie9704 Columbo: "No Time to Die". 1992.
I should add that many Columbo purists did not approve of the experiment. Stephanie's was much more successful.
Is a social security number the same as a tax file number?
wow this family did the precise thing Lori did not want - totally outed her and publiscied her personal information. thanks guys, hope you're all so proud of yourself. hope her husband gets a pair of balls and some communications skills.
The fact that he seemed to let his family run his life and he let his brother speak for him irritated me. He needs to act like an adult and take care of his own affairs.
When my last son was born, I had this weird feeling that something terrible was going to happen. I remember constantly needing to be able to see him. I only let my mom help with him overnight one night because I had a migrane. I'm wondering if she also had a form of postpartum depression, it's not always crying or being angry for no reason.
That certainly sounds plausible. I had thought that as well. I’m sorry that you went through that.
I’m wondering if she was in protective mode because something happened to her. By being so possessive did she think she could protect her daughter from the same fate?
Post-partum anxiety!
@@betterwiththeirish that’s exactly what I was thinking. Her determination to protect her baby from anything and anyone may be a little clue about something traumatic from Lori’s childhood. This story is so very sad and totally could have been prevented if people just gave her the space and time she desperately needed.
On the flip side this woman had fertility issues with multiple losses. I myself struggled with fertility, it took me 7 years to have a baby. She was my first and I was so scared of previous loss and how hard it was to get her that I would never let her out of my sight. It wasn’t ppd it was just a result of the amount of effort and loss experienced before having her
Yes! Well said! Most Sometimes after birth there’s something hormonally going on for such upset 😢
Some may not agree, but if this family was that hateful AFTER her death & speaking ill of her, I cannot imagine how they were while she was around. This story is absolutely heartbreaking. Just wow💔
They didn't really know her and she was cold to the family from the beginning. I don't blame them.
And I don't think it was hate, it was probably a mixture of anger and fear.
I feel so terribly bad for her and the difficult life she must have led. How painful and traumatic. She was just trying to protect herself, her marriage, and her child, but ended up losing everything. Those of us that have been through trauma pull back even more when others try to bully past our boundaries. I'm so sad for her.
@@thedisobedientdaughter yes. I'm glad somebody gets it. It breaks my heart to see so many people blaming her for being "cold". She sounded like a very traumatized, introverted person. It can take a lot for someone who has suffered trauma/abuse/neglect to warm up to others or trust them. It's really awful that her husband's family always assumed the absolute worst of her. They accused her of being some sort of awful horrible evil criminal when in reality she was just a scarred, damaged person running from a painful past.
@@thedisobedientdaughter yes!
It’s amazing to me that Stephanie spoke more kindly about Lori than people who knew her. Stephanie - you respectfully told Lori’s story is a way her daughter can even watch one day & you should feel really good about that. Hugs!
Say it with me: “what you see, isn’t always the truth”
Side note: all those weird quirks she was criticized by her in laws for were actually her mental scars of childhood trauma most likely
Or signs of a personality disorder.
Definitely signs that she needed compassion, patience & care quite desperately! 😢
@@belladonna5904 which are created from childhood moments and experiences of trauma, so…
anyone else read this comment and think of katya?
And childhood trauma isn't fixed by a marriage. It's fixed by doing the work.
As an introvert, I can relate to her taking naps during family holidays. My immediate family know I may excuse myself for a few 20-30 minutes to recharge, once my guest s are settled. Otherwise, I am a burnt out agitated crab. She may have been on the ASD. Maybe she was suffering complex PTSD or trauma from abandonment or abuse. Some people only need one or two people in their life that really love and accept them.
Not all of us need to be adored and validated all the time....that's called narcissism. She found her guy, had the baby, and lost both. She ran out of road-very sad. Her letter said it all. RIP.
I thought Stephanie could easily have been describing me for a bit there, I'm on the spectrum (ASD) and have CPTSD, depression, anxiety from childhood abuse and trauma, I also had fertility issues and severe endometriosis for decades until I had my miracle boy when I was 42yo, (I also suffered Post-Natal Depression) and he was 13 weeks premmie but thankfully a beautiful 16 yo now, I've been blessed. I spent all my adult years moving around and staying interstate from my family, all but my mother (the worst) have died. Yes, my heart breaks for Kimberley/Becky/Lori😢💔
😓
I'm 24 minutes in, and all I need to know about this family is that they fought to make sure all nine of their grandchildren were at their own Christmas and Lori was left alone. Clearly Lori is not the only one who was "possessive". This is a family that was so afraid that their son would be turned against them that they sent his brother into their marriage counseling sessions to advocate for the family. The divorce wasn't even finalized yet and that family made sure he was already out of his house and spending Christmas with them instead letting him have one Christmas with his new baby and wife. the divorce was already going through but they still didn't even want to extend an invite to her. This is really sad.
My friend is first generation Canadian Korean and her parents spent most of the holidays working and not doing a whole lot of family stuff and her husband comes from a very close family who does a lot of stuff around the holidays and they do a lot together. It was a huge adjustment for her to be in a family that was so involved in her life and she often felt like they were overstepping their boundaries. 10 years later and she has adjusted and appreciate everything they do for her and how much they love and care for her and her family but it's not an easy switch to make. It's really frustrating that these people were so insensitive to her.
Edit: well I'm at the end of the video and I can say the disrespect that this family showed her in death is public. So can I imagine the disrespect they showed her in life was worse. They went through her things after she asked her husband to make sure they didn't do that. Now he's greiving her, he has a little girl without a mom and his family is steam rolling over him and saying none of us are going to let you respect her wishes. The excuse of the daughter finding out something is bullshit she was still a child when this happened! They didn't even wait until the child was older they started prying immediately after her death. They probably didn't LET their son enter the home encase he found something and didn't reveal it to them.
They didn't want the guilt and shame that they should have felt for literally pushing their daughter in law over the edge. They didn't want the son's blame, they didn't want the granddaughter's blame. So they went on the attack immediately to try and destroy her character. What a bunch of assholes.
And using their grandaughter's DNA to find her is beyond sick.
Wasn't shw threatening them? I wouldn't invite someone who's threatened me to spend christmas at my house
The fact that Lori was so protective of her daughter may also be indicative of childhood abuse.
100000% This is me. It comes from a deep fear of the reality that the people that you were supposed to trust and who were supposed to love you and protect you hurt you.
Wow, I never thought of it that way, maybe that's why I'm so protective!
This is exactly, what I thought. And why she wouldn’t want his money.
Agree
I cried too. Her note to Blake was hard to hear, she really did live her family. I'm going to go hug my babies now.
If that's how she "loves" someone, I would hate to see how she treats people she hates.
@@belladonna5904 you sound no better than his family. She needed help.
@@RebeccaAnneDowney all of their comments are just as bad as the in laws
@@belladonna5904 you must be apart of the in-laws family 🤔
@@mlwsmp how do you know? Why are you protecting someone who neglected her kid to get at her husband and who worried more about getting him back than taking care of her own child to the point that and killed herself somewhere that had a high likelihood he’d daughter would witness the act or the result, a gruesome and awful thing to see? She’s not evil. Obviously she had trauma but she then caused it too. The family isn’t perfect but she alienated them. Just based on facts. She alienated them from herself, day 1, her husband and daughter. How would you react to that? I don’t think I’d enjoy that too much. Just saying. She had huge issues that she hid from Blake. What exactly did she expect to happen?
I changed all 3 of my names at age 40. I use the former names as curse words now. It was due to being adopted and abused. I left my prior life behind. May God bless Kimberly as whatever hurt was very deep.
Nothing infuriates me more than child abuse. I had to witness my brother go through it and it's the worst memory in my childhood. I wish society made child abuse prevention a higher priority.
I feel your pain. I sincerely hope your life is better now.
@@jamiebumgarner125 yes thank you, much better.
I feel so much empathy for Lori. Whatever happened to her was life-alteringly horrible, and she needed to start over. When you start over, you don’t have to be ‘that girl’ anymore. People only get to know the information you give them. There are no preconceived judgements attached to your name. I hope Lori found peace, and I say fuck anyone who thinks she deserves otherwise.
I agree. Some people want to know to much .
Absolutely. Screw the stigma against people who have childhood trauma and *don't* want to share it with the world!
There's not one shred of evidence that points to anything traumatic happening to her in her childhood. That's 100% speculation. Take that away and the story is a lot less sad and a lot more...shitty.
@@breezyncj yea well it’s her story and you’re not entitled to know anything about her. It’s shitty what this family did to her. The fact you think everyone should be entitled to others secrets is… shitty.
@@adrienkopish3220 everyone is entitled to their opinion. You're shitty for trying to shut down someone else's opinion.
As someone dealing with bipolar disorder and ptsd I found the end about her letter to her husband so heartbreaking because I know how it feels to feel like you’re more of a disturbance or hinderance to your husband and kids than a good thing. I struggle every day so my heart breaks for her.
Survivors of childhood abuse can often be hyper-protective of their children. I know that part of my choice not to have kids is because I'm too scared that they'll experience some of the same pain I did in my family.
Being tortured as a child caused me , protecting my children to the point of being considered a demon ... a female in law slapped her in the mouth ...and let's just say the court order for me , says to never speak to them again .. I violated it many times . I protected my children from attacks or evil in the world at all attacks
Costs ... sorry
Yes! Absolutey.
Whoa... I have suspicions that my mother was abused as a child. My parents were hyper-protectove of me. I wasn't allowed to go in the front yard alone until I was 16. I was only allowed to go out in public if my brother was with me until I was 18.
I was still sexually assaulted though when I was younger. Gotta be wary of certain types I suppose. My brother's older friend was the first culprit.
A really tragic tale; she was clearly damaged and her husband walking out was a repetition of what she was striving to avoid, being left alone. It's one of the strange paradoxes of people that we often end up running towards exactly what we are running away from.
Well said. Totally with you.
I understand what you're saying but I don't feel like her husband just walked out on her. She really did push him to leave by isolating him & their daughter. Talking down about everyone he loved. She was trying to force a situation where it was only the 3 of them with no friends or family involved in their lives. I think she was very unstable and needed a lot of help. This is a very tragic story. 😔
@@crazydaisyog3984 You are right, but that's the issue I suspect at the heart of this. I am a mathematician not a psychologist, but IMO she was desperately trying to secure stability by isolating herself on an island she felt secure with, her husband and daughter. Again, it's the paradox that she created the very situation she was trying to avoid and drove her husband away unintentionally. But losing control, and I mean that in its most benevolent sense, of her daughter must have been devastating.
@@jamesparsons9068 yes I agree with you!!
Happened to me. So true
Hi Steph. Sorry this month is hard for you. As always we appreciate your dedication. Happy holidays to you and yours 😊
Back to you!! This too shall pass ❤️❤️
@@StephanieHarlowe TRUTH
Absolutely agreed. You have got this, I love you Stephanie..I will pray for you. Sending good healing vibes your way.
@@StephanieHarlowe Get some Xmas coffee girl! 🎄❤
❤
Thank you so much for treating this woman with respect and compassion. This story really is heart wrenching isn’t it? This girl was so determined to wipe her past away that when the opportunity to receive a substantial inheritance ( which would have helped a struggling teenager living all alone) was presented she not only didn’t accept it, she soon after made sure she acquired a completely different identity. Whatever happened, it must have been something extremely traumatic for young Kimberly. To completely cut ties with her sister and mother at such a young age is very telling. It must have been so lonely for her. All those years having no one. Christmas and birthdays, birthdays only she knew of, with nobody to share with. It’s heartbreaking that the one person she actually let in soon left her. And her overly protective behavior with her child may very well be because she was aware of the dangers in the world for a child. I can’t imagine what happened to this woman as a child. The tea parties and easy bake oven were red flags that made me think childhood stolen by abuse. I have the feeling her father was a very abusive, sick person. And if she cut ties with her mother so easily, I wonder if she knew and ignored it and perhaps her step father was abusive as well. Her mother must’ve done something. This whole story is so sad. To finally have a family and have it pulled away from her must have been too painful. May she Rest In Peace finally.
I feel awful that all the things she wanted kept secret are out, I think we should call and remember as Lori because that's what she wanted. Blake's family sucks for doing this to her.
yeah, I especially empathize because I feel like she could be me, I'm also estranged from my family due to trauma and abuse, and I can't do the whole family things with ease and may come off as weird and standoffish to people, and I understand deep, deep sadness as well
she definitely should be called Lori, that's the name she chose for herself
@@andreakoroknai1071 🖤❤️
She kinda put them through hell lol
I honestly felt it was very weird that his family insisted so much on digging into this as if it were as important as solving a murder...like she was some dangerous criminal! I would hope they feel kind of dumb with the anti-climatic conclusion but with how self-important they are I'm sure they're gloating about being "right" about her hiding something. I want to keep calling her Lori too because that's what she wanted to be known as.
This is a crazy sad story. Drives me crazy when in laws think they have a say in relationships, and that part about them staying in their lane was on point! I truly hope your holiday's get better and you can rest and enjoy the Christmas season with your family❤
If she was abused as a child it explains the protectiveness she had towards her daughter.
It could also explain the miscarriages - I cant remember where I read the study but there have been theoretical links between some abuse and fertility issues as an adult.
yep! stress ages the body literally. telomeres shrink. it would make her body age much faster, making her reproductive system also age. it can be reversed when people receive adequate therapy and validation and de-stress but she clearly didnt get that privilege. very sad
I personally know someone who has fertility issues as a result of abuse. She and her husband tried for years before she was able to successfully conceive their miracle baby. This whole story is horrendous. I can see the scars of her trauma in so many places as Stephanie discusses her behaviors.
Yeah and her mommy's boy husband didn't hell things a all .
This is how I felt during my 9 year marriage. First time meeting my ex’s mom, she let me know I wasn’t up to her standard. She kept doing it all 9 years. I was too quiet, I needed too much space, I wasn’t educated enough, I wouldn’t be a good mother. She told my ex I’d make his life hard due to being abused as a child and that I had no father so I’d have issues. It makes you so deeply depressed and helpless because you forget you are worthy of a good life.
Same
I'm so sorry, and know that you are worthy of love, happiness and peace.
Sounds like she totally lacks empathy and kindness 🤮 it's people like that who I consider the least worthy of our time and energy tbh. Don't let her convince you it's the other way around 💖
That’s awful but there’s no evidence they were this bad to her. She was unhinged from the get go. There’s a real possibility she exaggerated a lot of this maltreatment.
Nobody believes Charles Manson with essentially the same types of claims of his mom. I wonder why…
If I meets someone's parents and they do not like me or I do not like them we are not going to work out. They will always pick there parents I can't blame anyone for that.
the strangest thing about this is that her in laws had such a dislike for her, that one would assume they would be relieved that she was no longer around, yet they took the time and money to do a complete background investigation on her, essentially propelling her into posthumous notoriety. they didn’t need to do all of that to protect their grand daughter.
They were curious. I would be too.
Even if they hated her they would still want to investigate. After all, they wanted to know who they had been dealing with, if their suspicions had been justified. And they have a grandchild who will want answers one day. Which this woman left them with. It honestly disgusts me.
I am glad they did the research. I see nothing wrong with that. In the end of the day you are living with one person for the next ten/twenty years and suddenly (or even from the begging you fell something's off) you understand that they were not completly honest with you..what is wrong with searching the truth? I think Blake and their daughter deserve it. And I see nothing wrong when you have your doubts about someone or something , to discover the truth about them.
I hope they became fixated with her history because they were eaten alive with guilt about how they had treated their son's wife, and the mother of their granddaughter.
@@jenni4claire Somehow I doubt it.
When someone is so incredibly protective of their child they deserve compassion and understanding. Obviously there is a reason for a person to be this way. Most often it’s because of abuse that was experienced and as a parent we will do whatever is possible to shield and protect our children from being victims as well. I know it’s very scary as a parent that has been through a lot when I was younger, and I was ferociously protective and vigilant. My heart goes out to this woman.
I feel ya girl. Everyone thinks December is such a happy month because of the holidays but for some of us it's actually a really emotionally difficult time of the year. December is very bitter sweet for me as well. Stay strong, stay beautiful and you are amazing!
I lost my brother, my only sibling, on Dec 15th. December is just so hard for me. Love you & miss you brother! ❤ (Adam Nicholas Kearns, 1984-2018)
@@MeganVictoriaKearns I am so sorry for your loss. 💔 I think of my late husband and others that I have lost. December is difficult.
same on the bittersweet part, I'm quite alone in the world due to cutting ties with toxic people throughout the years, but I do have friends and that's a real blessing, and I'm finally completely independent, but there is a sadness definitely
Stay strong as well girl!
Each year I find myself more and more horribly depressed from seasonal affective disorder. This year is the same😕
To me, her behavior reminds me of people I know who were sexually abused as children. Very quiet, not very social, on edge all the time, and swinging back and forth between "promiscuous behavior" (stripping and breast implants) and extreme modesty. Having a daughter probably triggered every fear in her that someone would harm her in the same way, especially if she was abused by a family member. When she received the letter from her father's estate, I wouldn't be surprised if she thought it was a trick to get her back to him so he could harm her in some way. That's just how all of this comes across to me. If she never processed the things that happened to her (and it seems that she really didn't), she likely blamed herself for any kind of trauma and took extreme precaution to avoid being vulnerable with anyone. And when the person she was the most vulnerable with, her husband, left, she probably blamed herself all over again. It's absolutely tragic. And I feel so much sadness for her daughter who didn't get to really know her mom.
Perfectly said. 100% agree. So sad. 😥
Very insightful reply.
She wasn't mother material. She needed mental health care.
@@plynn136 How can you say "she wasn't mother material", you don't know her. Even thou I agree that she would have needed help she could actually be a good mother. This case strikes home to me too near because I lived in an orphanage for the first 6 month of my life and than got adopted by , as we would say now, quite abusive parents (not sexually, but I was beaten on a regulare basis) and I never could connect emotionally with my inlaws. I still feel, that I don't quite understand the concept of "relationship" and "family". Don't get me wrong, i would go to hell and back for my children and my grandson. So I seem to be what you'd call "not mother material" . But still I brought up my children to be wonderful people who are sucsessful in life and loved by everyone who knows them. Please forgive my mistakes, English isn't my first language
@@madhattie2952 Too many lies and secrets. She needed to seek and accept real help before becoming a wife and mother. Obviously I did not know her-did you? I am allowed to have my opinion just like you. No sermons needed.
Those of us who overthink and question everything have anxiety. Take that into consideration before stating people without it are better.
This is so sad. This woman did NOT deserve what she went through. I don’t think she was crazy I think she was in great pain grieving a relationship that was lost. She obviously loved him more than he ever did.
Part of what makes her pain so much is the idea that she loves her husband so he is obligated to love her back. Just because someone wants to be in a relationship with you did not obligated you to want to be in a relationship with them. I wish she could have got competent help, not just some neighbor preacher. Bottom line..... Just because you want something doesn't mean you have a right to it.
I don't agree with that. She did not put her husband, whom she loved so much, in an easy position. She isolated him from his family and basically asked to choose between her and his parents and siblings. I understand being private and not liking you in-laws, but if you love and respect your spouse you need to compromise, or the relationship will fall apart. If he did not love her anymore, he was not obligated to stay, nodoby is. She needed professional help to deal with the divorce.
@@BistraVoda87 Agree completely!
I agree completely.
@@julzmgrforll7278 well, you are right to a degree, but he did marry her and had a child with her, so, that would imply he did want a relationship with her....I think her in-laws were cruel, even a strong, well adjusted people would have trouble withy such family.
" Entitlement is the worst!" Definitely need that on a shirt. You're entitled to your feelings & your thoughts
Yes! That’s about all we’re entitled to. And that’s the thing people always want to bother us about. Go figure!
Dear Stephanie, thank you for giving this poor, incredibly lonely person the love and compassion she deserved. God only knows what she had been through. It is obvious to me that she was terribly afraid. She is now in a place of eternal love with the angels. This story touched me deeply. The first week of December is particularly hard for me too. But joy will return.
Thank you Stephanie.
You know being a mom is hard. The constant chores on top of working full time. The need to be loving and supportive even if you feel like shit. Constantly being tired.
I am so grateful to you for the work you do. I always put an earbud in and fold laundry or whatever chore I am working on. It's a little escape.
Thank you for considering Kimberleys life before assuming she was this selfish horrible gold digger, you’re very sincere in your delivery.
She changed her name to Lori, so it seems most respectful toward her memory to use her chosen name, don't you think?
The way you describe parents and in-laws interjecting themselves into young couples lives when they have babies, YES! You summed it up perfectly
I feel you on this time of year being difficult. When you have children too, all energy seems to go into not letting them see how depressed/down you feel when they’re so giddy and excited for Santa 🖤
I feel exactly the same x
Me take the baby , me also goes missing for 2 hrs lol
This is such a sad story. It's true, everyone has their secrets and if it's not hurting anyone then let them keep those secrets, it's not anyone's business.
This is begging the question. The fact that she stole identities and lied about where she was from means they had good reason to believe those secrets did hurt someone.
How do we know it truly wasn’t hurting anyone??? It was clearly hurting her more than anyone else ever could.
It could have hurt their family.
I wasn't saying this for this case. I was just agreeing with Stephanie about secrets in general.
She stole identities which hurts the victim. She wouldn’t reveal a single thing about herself to anyone especially her husband which hurts him and the marriage. Sometimes secrets do hurt. Those ones are the basis of trust in a relationship. She held her very identity back so gave nothing and was surprised her marriage failed because her husband got sick of it? She didn’t give it her all.
Just came to say i appreciate your compassion for a clearly very complicated, traumatized woman. Thank you.
This is why I tune into your videos every week. You’re transparent, caring and relatable. Take care of yourself, a lot of us listeners are there too and your videos help me more than you know.
It is clear that the messy home she left behind was a sign of major depression. I feel for her. What a heartbreaking story.
Stephanie I think you totally hit the nail on the head with this your commentary is just spot on I totally 100% agree
I’m sorry it ended like that; you can tell she really tried to make a better life and give her child what she didn’t have. She did the best she could; peace to her and her family.
This whole time I was thinking she ran because she was sexually abused by an immediate family member that lived in her home, and never looked back or contacted her family because they probably knew what was happening and she felt didn’t protect her. When you got to the part where she was notified her father died and left her $84k and she didn’t respond, moved and changed her identity afterwards, screams her father abused her and she wanted nothing of or from him.
Her story is really very sad - she clearly had some kind of trauma. She wanted a fresh start but found her way into a family that clearly didnt like her and wanted to find anything on her… i hope Blake tells her daughter her mother loved her. The extracts of her letter to him made me cry. I think Lori was lonely and wanted to live a life she didnt have before
I wasn't aware of this case before now, thanks for bringing it to my attention in the best way possible. Take care of yourself, we love you! 💚
Thank you so much, love!! 😍
I'm just down the road from Longview and had not heard about this. Such a sad story. Thank you for covering it. Also, give yourself lots of grace during this time. We love you, girl!
I live about 50 miles away and go to Longview often. I have never heard of this either.
I'm from Longview and never heard of it 🤷♀️
I live 20 minutes from Longview, there almost every weekend! Never heard of this either. But it's cool to see more people from around here listening to Stephanie 🥰
@@bansheerosebelle9848 fit i it t d. Uuuu you ukkryr y your y try uuuut I’m mmmmmchemyyoju
@@bansheerosebelle9848 ppp
Wow! I’ve never watched your channel before and am dumbfounded by your observations and objective approach to a complex subject matter. Very rare in my experience. Thank you! Much success to you.
I think with how understanding Blake was, she could have opened up to him even just a little and he wouldn’t have left her because he would have understood where she was coming from. He would have probably even got her help.
Considering the codependent relationship with his family she probably worried that anything she told him would be told to them.
I believe she was abused at a very early age, maybe even witness her sister being abused as well, the overprotectiveness over her baby makes me think it was maybe her dad, so she felt she couldn't trust anybody with her little girl. This is very sad i wish I could hug her 😔
The toughest thing about child abuse is when it
happens BEFORE words are used. I knew a 9 year old that the minute I met her that ‘she wasn’t there’ and that impression would be reiterated by a close friend, ‘No one is home’ is how she described it.
I actually think it was a grandparent or uncle/aunt. Not that her dad couldn't have also abused her, but you don't go into hiding after someone is dead. You go into hiding after you're discovered and you think someone will come for you.
@@katelyn3490 I agree that’s usually the case. I knew someone who changed their name because, ‘it was his fathers name so every time someone called his name, he thought of his father, who he despised! The fact that his father was already dead didn’t change the way he felt about having “his name”…
He wasn’t ever hiding from anyone. He just wanted to change his name to separate himself from his father & his family tree.
He changed his name to his mothers maiden name. He adored his maternal grandfather…🙂
When you mentioned she would go online and do her in laws genealogy when she was with them, it made me wonder if (assuming she had been abused) she was trying to figure out members of her new family and any deviants, etc she should be on the “look out” for
As a survivor of csa, I have cut all contact with the side of my family that perpetrated and coverd up my abuse. As a child ( I did not find this out until I was an adult) that side of my family had been stalking me. From age 5- 18. I had to change why last name as well. My mum had to set up fake PO boxes and pretend we lived in a different city. We even moved to the country to escape them. I did not find any of this out until I was 27 and going through my mother's paperwork. As she had just passed away. To this day at age 37, I am still looking over my shoulder for that side of the family. Laurie definitely was escaping abuse. Most survivor's I know have tried to disappear. As most csa abuses have narssist traits, the view you as there property. And will often try to keep tabs on you. It is horrific. And a as a child it was extremely traumatising to know that even after CPS stopped the abuse, I was still not safe.
I feel such a connection to this woman. It's absolutely heartbreaking and I feel you where spot on about the affects of childhood trauma and Blakes family 😢.
I just bawled my eyes out! That poor woman. I immediately felt her. I love your style. Unapologetically authentic! Me freaking too! Thank you for another amazing story.
My father died on xmas eve when I was in my early twenties. Every year, I still find myself, unplanned, all of a sudden crying alone somewhere for just a few minutes. I miss him and xmas was the best time
Everyone has boundaries that need respecting. I’m glad Blake thought as he did.
That's not what boundaries means. A husband is entitled to know who he is marrying...saying "I can't tell you, I have boundaries" is ridiculous. She was the one crossing boundaries with her overly possessive behavior of both her husband and child. She was very rude to the family.
I should have been more enlightened in my response. I believe in total honesty with my spouse. Her boundaries, in regards to in-laws, needed to be respected. But I do believe that her being so possessive in regards to the child would made a divorce inevitable.
I like the way you stood up for Lori. I live in Texas and they are SO judgmental and harsh out here if you don't fit how they want you to. They're also very sexist which leads to people suspecting the worst about women, especially women who seem too independent and individualistic.
I feel like this should hit close to home for more of us than we expect and also leave us with a lesson we can all keep with us. I know i personally have had those days where i wanted to just run away and change my name and literally start a whole new life. She actually did it. She did that one thing that everyone thinks about at least once. A totally fresh slate. And even with a totally fresh slate, that grass wasnt greener on the other side. It was just a different version of her fears and troubles and anxieties. Really sad. I hope that little girl has found the happiness her mom was searching for❤
December is very hard for my daughter & I both. Her father, the love of my life and high school sweetheart took his life on December 15th.. this will be 3 years this year and we're finding it's the hardest thus far. Love & miss him so much every second of every day 💔
God have mercy on Kimberly. What a beautiful soul. This made me cry as well, Stephanie. As a victim of childhood traumas this hit very hard. This is one of the best videos you have put together.
Listening while getting ready this morning, and when you were like "she shot herself in the head" I was like oh shit! That's not where I thought this was going! 😳
Me too, I practically dropped my eyeliner!
I feel ya girl. I deactivated my social media. My mom passed away this year and this Christmas doesn’t feel so christmasy. I honestly can’t look at all the memories popping up.
My heart ❤ goes out to you. The first year when losing someone is the worst, especially around the holidays. I wish you peace during this time.
💗
Yeah it sucks without my mum.
Sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
This made me cry and i'm not someone who usually cries when listening to podcasts. I truly felt for her. Great storytelling Stephanie!
My heart goes out to Lori/Kimberly and her daughter. Clearly, she wanted to just live her best life, but couldn't figure out the best way to go about it. I very much hope her father's inheritance went to her daughter after they figured out who she was. It very much freaked me out when you talked about her parents... my mom's name is Deanna, my dad's name is Jim, and my husband is a firefighter. I was like "stop this right now."
Amazing video as always, Stephanie.
December and Christmas are a trigger for more people than you know. It's when more people suicide and are deeply depressed. Movies show us happy families, parties and fun but it's not like that for many people it's a difficult time. Love and look after yourself and anyone else who feels this do the same. Our mental health is so important ❤❤
Pausing to say I 100000% agree with the mini entitlement rant. I too, have been seeing this characteristic in alot of people, mostly family members, and it's been Making me feel some way.
This case just makes me feel bad. It’s sad they assumed she must have been a criminal on the run and looking for a salacious story, not an abuse victim. People don’t change their identity for no reason-and sometimes it’s a good reason.
Yes, but many criminals on the run change their identity as well-- no one had any way of knowing why she changed her identity-- it could very conceivably been for a nefarious reason. We have heard of many cases in which criminals of various kinds have moved states and changed their names to evade capture.
The family was smart to assume that. They are the reason their son is still alive I think.
Thank you for being "so normal"! Your honesty is so refreshing.
Sometimes the paths we take to avoid our destiny are the ones that lead us to it.
Amazing channel, superb investigation!...Subscribed. 😎👍
Thank you!!
She was also very protective of her daughter, this makes me think even more that she may have been abused and wanted to make sure she never would be.
Well she failed at that when she killed herself. Now her kid will have to deal with that trauma.
She did not seem wicked but had psychiatric issues and sounds it was actually his family’s “self-fulfilling prophecy” that it went this way. Even though she might be unlikeable, they sure made a bad life even worse, even wretched. Say a prayer at least for that unfortunate soul. For such devoted church-goers, they aren’t as far off as the rest of us sinners. Hope she has love and peace where she is now. And also their bible says hell waits for torturers.
I think she had psychiatric issues as well and, personally, I think they may have been much larger than that time recognized or understood.
Stephanie I love ur videos
U do a great job treating everyone in these stories as humans
U don’t condone there behaviors but u see there history and maybe why they do what they do
Keep it up Stephanie
Ur my fav!
This is such a sad case, I could feel in your voice and expressions how sincere and genuine you felt towards Lori, thank you for providing such awesome content, and may Lori Rest In Peace.
This is the best video I've seen in a while about an unsolved mystery involving a false identity. Great Job Stephanie! I'm glued to this like a great book (I watch at 2x speed so unfortunately, I'm almost done. I don't want it to end because this is a awesome story)! I love Coffee and Crime Time!!! I'm an Aquarius, too! I have that same coffee mug in pink! 💗💗💗
Why @ 2X,,just wondering?
Fellow Aquarius ♒ hello!! Feb 3 here, what is your Aquarius birthday?
@@jenh7417 I get this, it’s just too slow for my brain at the normal speed personally
Glad I’m not the only one who listens in 2x speed🤣
How can I watch in 2x speed? 😮
This is easily the most heartbreaking case you’ve covered in some time. Lori escaped from a dysfunctional, abusive family only to find herself many years later enmeshed in another terrible family.
The Ruffs are despicable. Blake likely was a bit beaten down by his family before he met Lori, so I am not going to blame him.
It makes me feel so nauseous knowing the glee that the privileged Ruffs felt when they uncovered that Lori had fled a disturbing past. It’s as if they took pleasure in feeling that they had been vindicated.
The only comforting thing in this story is knowing that her daughter will know the truth someday.
This is so bizarre. I feel really sad that her past is even known now. For her not to disclose it even in her last words speaks volumes. Also, Blake sounds like genuinely good man. I agree with you that it was the family that pushed him away.
Your kindness towards ALL victims is absolutely inspiring. Also, I love how extensive your research is. Thanks for being awesome 👏🏼💕
You’re right, in-laws just don’t realize (or just don’t care...) how much they affect a marriage, whether it’s negatively or positively. I had a really hard time with my in-laws in the beginning and it definitely almost ruined my own marriage so I can totally understand Laurie’s pain and I feel so, so terrible for her and her daughter. This was a sad one for sure.
This case broke my heart!😭 her letter was so sad...😔 she was heart broken, i hope Blake tells her wonderful happy stories about her mother, and not bring up the past before he meet her...stay safe everyone and merry Christmas!
Personal mental health is important! We know your dedicated and you deserve a break too!! Everyone take care of yourselves and your loved ones this season ❤
In the end, I was so appreciative that the husband had understanding and love in his heart for her.
Feel so bad for Lori, absolutely heartbreaking situation, her stepparents should be ashamed of themselves.
I'm a new mom and I totally feel you on letting other people hold the baby to go to the bathroom and then stay in there for a while 😆 I'm currently in the bathroom doing my skincare and listening to your entire video :)
Feel happy that you can do this! I was always afraid and full of fear for my baby bc what I´ve experienced. As soon as he could speak and express himself, it got better.
I’m so grateful for your commentary. This case is so tragic and hits so hard, I’ve been crying through the whole thing. Thank you for your immense respect and humanity for the victims.
My father passed away on my wedding day--December 28, 2013. It is a difficult time for me, as well. However, I know the best way to honor him is to live the best possible life that I can. Much Love and Prayers Lifted...
When i was 17 my mom had a massive heart attack at 37 yrs old and died out ofnowhere no warning nothing i still have a hard time with it esp in december hope ur ok i love ur channel thanks for what u do seriously
I can empathize with your December blues… On November 30, 2018 my husband had a massive heart attack and after being on life-support for 19 days he died on December 19. Our granddaughter will be 11 December 22. I try to be strong and make the holiday season better for her. I love listening to you while I decorate the house for Christmas.
Here’s to a better year in 2022!
This is one of the most interesting stories ive ever heard tbh. I've heard this story from other RUclipsrs but i wanna hear you retell it. Thank you for making this video and also making my day this early!
Thank you for being here!
Stephanie is the best ♥️
Even if I’ve heard cases before, if Stephanie covers them I’ll always tune in!
Hope this month gets better. As a ptsd sufferer with anorexia relapse all my traumas are around Xmas as a scared youth. Keep that head up. Sending whiskey wishes from Ireland ❤️🇮🇪🇮🇪
Sending you a little love from the coast of North Carolina USA
@@bridgetharrison103 I accept it dearly ❤️❤️
Love from Ohio, USA! 🇺🇸 I've been there with the E.D. Random fact: my Ancestry DNA says my family origins are 93% Irish. 🇮🇪
@@MeganVictoriaKearns my best friend who is American that I met online lives now in Ohio she’s obsessed with Ireland that’s how we met 😂🇮🇪🇮🇪 yeah I’m 41 3 sons 24,20 and 12 and relapsed the last 6 years. ❤️
@@MeganVictoriaKearns cairns is how we spell your 2nd name
This case is one of the saddest I’ve ever heard. It seems clear to me that she was running from something that remained a threat to her throughout her life. Maybe she was trafficked after running away from abuse and her life threatened? Changing her name twice would indicate to me that the threat was ongoing.
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Hey Steph, there's been studies done indicating that side sleeping more effectively removes brain waste, so to speak, compared to sleeping on your back which may stave off Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and other neurological diseases. 😊
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I need a new mattress this is a sign to get that brand!
I wish they were in stores so I could check one out. I know they have the warranty so if you don't like it you can return it but that seems like such a hassle. Anyone know if any stores carry them?