I learned that you have to pack up and move away from all the toxic unhealthy abusive relationships. It's better to be alone then to be with people who are abusive and don't respect you or your boundaries.
It just seems you can't unsee people, even strangers after your eyes have been opened...not just in a cursory way of having your eyes opened, but from where you bleed it from your heart, feel the pain from the cells of your bones, where tears no longer flow, because you've figured out the game-enough to know to fight for your life, freedom, personality and wellbeing.
Your description of the "spectrum" Is great. Someone in my life is so sociopathic they can not have positive relationships. Everything is about power & control..he plans ahead to harm me. I wish for him that he actively participates in therapy.
I have a friend that is the same. All of her negative experiences are so exhausting to hear and she definitely is spiteful. So sad because, I've had to be on the receiving end and now I do my best to keep distance.
A job recruiter played me like this, and then kept pushing back the “meet the boss” date and time. I didn’t send any money, and didn’t depart my geographic area, it was just disappointing to get my hopes up over & over. (Watch out international job-hunters: some of these scammers just want to buy & sell your info abroad, and if your CV is HOT, they’ll use it as a template.
I don't know why but that reminded me of that fire investigator that set all the fires and then he would be the one there to put them out and everybody thought he was a hero😂
100% on point. Particularly interesting is the psychological urgency. I had a narc use this to “ catch” me when love bombing didn’t work entirely as he thought.
Very helpful, thank you. Going through this right now. It's a work entanglement . Leaning on God and helpful people like yourself to go forward despite his attempts at hoovering , manipulating, etc..
When they get another sociopath narcissist family member to attack you mentally and physically, they turn all your defense as you are the problem. When you retaliate, they turn the table on you. They are not in the wrong. Not them. Oh, it is never them. They will use your weakness and bite you at the end when you catch onto them. It's happened to me too many times with my family.
I've been working on my exit for long. This is the 5th time, I think, cause I can't trust my memory no more, that I break up. I wanted to pick up my stuff from his place and leave, he wanted to 'talk'. Then I change all the plan to suit him, only for getting more disgust and contempt from him. Somehow I manage to wake up from the little me he's created and finally gathered the corage to leave. He's a narcissist with psychopathic tendencies by the book, and yet I'm in awe at how I find myself emotionally crying begging him to take me back!. So much work to do. Feel so depleted, like life has been suck out of me. Thanks for all your videos. They sure help ❤
I'm so sorry to hear this. You may be experiencing either co-dependency as a victim of narcissistic abuse or traumatic bonding. I would learn more about this, if you haven't already, to gain an understanding of this dynamic between two people. It is certainly a long process of falling over and over again until you get tired, learning and learning where you need and want to be, and growing from there. And you're welcome. Praying for your strength to find your way.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you Tamara. By now I know lots about codependency, trauma bonding..etc. But I'm still an 'observer' of my actions. It feels sort of I'm watching my life like it was a movie. I know my dependency stems from a luck of self-love and living with my Narcissistic parents doesn't help either. I think despite all this, I'm starting to internalise all this knowledge, and sometimes I do act coherently. Thanks again for your work Tamara. 🙏❤
This was very helpful. Thank you so much. I’m dealing with one on my team at work. Because I’ve seen this before, I knew how and when to react. Document, document, document and set a hard boundary. I waited for him to reach out to me in private chat (because I knew he would. This is how he manipulates. He does private IMs and then when you think you’re on the same page with him and vice versa, he does something completely different externally and cross-functionally.) I told him that while I appreciate communicating with him, I prefer that we use the open chat (team chat) or private chat with a third party so as to minimize miscommunication. I haven’t heard a peep out of him since.
You're welcome! I'm glad this was helpful to you. It's not easy dealing with manipulators because they always have something up their sleeve. You can't trust them no matter what. Once a manipulator, sometimes always a manipulator.
Wow! Congratulations on standing firm on your boundaries and using wisdom to see right through the manipulator’s gimmicks. Question: when you let him down, did you do so in the group chat or private? Also, be on your p’s & Q’s, they are always fantasizing on retaliation for not allowing them have their way to manipulate.
Well played. You want to communicate with me, do it openly. Step out of that shadow you're hiding in and show yourself in the light. I had a similar situation. And yes, the creep ran away. 🎼TD, Boston
I’m relearning this at an old age. It’s horrible, but at the same time, it feels validating that in spite of the horrors experienced by these creeps, I was justified in handling them the way you suggest. 🖤
What’s odd to me about this is that I knew about how to avoid getting victimized by these freaks and allowed the words of a few whom I loved and trusted to turn away from applying what I knew worked for me and against these evil peeps! Now being middle aged, I’m fighting to turn back into that healthy state of being.
I see the metaphor using these people they create all this chaos you know flying monkeys triangulation all this stuff and then they just stand there like their the the victim or the good one and watch everybody kind of like you know a fire person or whatever
@@AuthorAngieDeLisi well what if you were dating 10 years, neighbors on dead end road farmland, farmer.... and you cant relocate. That's my dilemma. Tormenting as hell. Reliving daily. They sure get mean. Can you give examples if why to run? Please
Thank you so much for this Tamara, What an eye opener, I've paid attention and I'm very grateful for this, Absolutely tremendous, Peace , love, Respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the universe, The most high, God is great 🌲🦄🐶🕊👽☘🌷💜💜😃💙🌌✌🐎🐉😊😇🦁
Question: aspd how can you not get wraped in when they want to start a fight with you. An how to handle when they have said or done something an they deny it an eather say they didn't say that it they blame you with it.
I have a daughter that is on the far right of NARSSISSIT and she has triangulated my other children she has done so much damage over time it's a no win situation,I'm going no contact
Going no contact is best, Ignore a Narc will make them wonder what is going on, And then from that time they may try to get you back but ignoring them makes them weak and then they bored of you and leave u
It's been my experience that if someone spends enough time with them eventually they figure out this person isn't right. They also tend to target one or two people with manipulation games then move on to other people. This is just my opinion but you will get that phone call from the other kids one day that yeah the final straw happened. The reason it can take a while is they run assessments on who is likely to tolerate a little bit of s versus a lot. So the nicest people unfortunately are typically the ones who see the most wrongdoing
I have a daughter that is on the far right of NARSSISSIT and she has triangulated my other children she has done so much damage over time it's a no win situation,I'm going no contact
If this video was helpful to you, I encourage you to share it! Please like and comment. 🙂
You're a gifted communicator. I find your videos very supportive and helpful.
Any manipulation and im out, i pay close attention when that happens and i dont forget it!
I learned that you have to pack up and move away from all the toxic unhealthy abusive relationships. It's better to be alone then to be with people who are abusive and don't respect you or your boundaries.
🎯🎯🎯🏆
It just seems you can't unsee people, even strangers after your eyes have been opened...not just in a cursory way of having your eyes opened, but from where you bleed it from your heart, feel the pain from the cells of your bones, where tears no longer flow, because you've figured out the game-enough to know to fight for your life, freedom, personality and wellbeing.
Tamara has an unique talent of clearly explaining psychological concepts... just great!! And, she really knows her stuff.
🥰thank you!
Your description of the "spectrum" Is great. Someone in my life is so sociopathic they can not have positive relationships. Everything is about power & control..he plans ahead to harm me. I wish for him that he actively participates in therapy.
I have a friend that is the same. All of her negative experiences are so exhausting to hear and she definitely is spiteful. So sad because, I've had to be on the receiving end and now I do my best to keep distance.
Scammers delight is the use of psychological urgency. That’s their tool of choice to use on their victims.
A job recruiter played me like this, and then kept pushing back the “meet the boss” date and time. I didn’t send any money, and didn’t depart my geographic area, it was just disappointing to get my hopes up over & over. (Watch out international job-hunters: some of these scammers just want to buy & sell your info abroad, and if your CV is HOT, they’ll use it as a template.
Absolutely.
I don't know why you sooth me with your voice and then calm me with your knowledge.
Thank you, Tamara! 🙆♀️
I don't know why but that reminded me of that fire investigator that set all the fires and then he would be the one there to put them out and everybody thought he was a hero😂
100% on point. Particularly interesting is the psychological urgency. I had a narc use this to “ catch” me when love bombing didn’t work entirely as he thought.
Very helpful, thank you. Going through this right now. It's a work entanglement . Leaning on God and helpful people like yourself to go forward despite his attempts at hoovering , manipulating, etc..
You're welcome.
You got this! You and God!!
🙏 rs
Such a helpful video
You give a voice to people who suffer emotional abuse, God bless you ❤
Thank you so much! That's an answered prayer.🤗 God's blessing be upon you.
When they get another sociopath narcissist family member to attack you mentally and physically, they turn all your defense as you are the problem. When you retaliate, they turn the table on you. They are not in the wrong. Not them. Oh, it is never them. They will use your weakness and bite you at the end when you catch onto them. It's happened to me too many times with my family.
I've been working on my exit for long. This is the 5th time, I think, cause I can't trust my memory no more, that I break up. I wanted to pick up my stuff from his place and leave, he wanted to 'talk'. Then I change all the plan to suit him, only for getting more disgust and contempt from him. Somehow I manage to wake up from the little me he's created and finally gathered the corage to leave. He's a narcissist with psychopathic tendencies by the book, and yet I'm in awe at how I find myself emotionally crying begging him to take me back!. So much work to do. Feel so depleted, like life has been suck out of me. Thanks for all your videos. They sure help ❤
I'm so sorry to hear this. You may be experiencing either co-dependency as a victim of narcissistic abuse or traumatic bonding. I would learn more about this, if you haven't already, to gain an understanding of this dynamic between two people. It is certainly a long process of falling over and over again until you get tired, learning and learning where you need and want to be, and growing from there.
And you're welcome. Praying for your strength to find your way.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you Tamara. By now I know lots about codependency, trauma bonding..etc. But I'm still an 'observer' of my actions. It feels sort of I'm watching my life like it was a movie. I know my dependency stems from a luck of self-love and living with my Narcissistic parents doesn't help either. I think despite all this, I'm starting to internalise all this knowledge, and sometimes I do act coherently. Thanks again for your work Tamara. 🙏❤
This was very helpful. Thank you so much. I’m dealing with one on my team at work. Because I’ve seen this before, I knew how and when to react. Document, document, document and set a hard boundary. I waited for him to reach out to me in private chat (because I knew he would. This is how he manipulates. He does private IMs and then when you think you’re on the same page with him and vice versa, he does something completely different externally and cross-functionally.) I told him that while I appreciate communicating with him, I prefer that we use the open chat (team chat) or private chat with a third party so as to minimize miscommunication. I haven’t heard a peep out of him since.
You're welcome! I'm glad this was helpful to you.
It's not easy dealing with manipulators because they always have something up their sleeve. You can't trust them no matter what. Once a manipulator, sometimes always a manipulator.
Wow! Congratulations on standing firm on your boundaries and using wisdom to see right through the manipulator’s gimmicks. Question: when you let him down, did you do so in the group chat or private?
Also, be on your p’s & Q’s, they are always fantasizing on retaliation for not allowing them have their way to manipulate.
@@teralecole316Good advice!
Well played. You want to communicate with me, do it openly. Step out of that shadow you're hiding in and show yourself in the light.
I had a similar situation. And yes, the creep ran away.
🎼TD, Boston
I’m relearning this at an old age. It’s horrible, but at the same time, it feels validating that in spite of the horrors experienced by these creeps, I was justified in handling them the way you suggest. 🖤
Thank you so much for your videos!! This was soooooo helpful. Now I understand what I was dealing with!!
You're welcome and thank you 😊
In other terms emotional shape shifter
I love this video and super helpful, I wish I would have known about this when I was younger.
Thank you for watching Nikki! I'm glad this was helpful.
What’s odd to me about this is that I knew about how to avoid getting victimized by these freaks and allowed the words of a few whom I loved and trusted to turn away from applying what I knew worked for me and against these evil peeps! Now being middle aged, I’m fighting to turn back into that healthy state of being.
Same here. Let them talk me out of myself to only become more hurt and lose more time. And they still dont see
Thanks Tamara....you are truly God sent.
You are so welcome! And thank you. 😊 Welcome to the channel!
Excellent ...
I've fallen into all of this stuff with my daughter for a long time ...
I'm so sorry. It's not an easy position to be in.
Thank you Tamara keep up the great work!!❤
You're welcome and thanks so much❤🤗 I certainly will.
This has helped so much! Thank you
You're so welcome!
watched this again today. thanks for all your videos
🤗You're welcome! And thank you for watching.
Great video! Thank you, God bless you 🙏🏽
You are welcome! And thank you. God bless you too!
Just absolutely wonderful advice YOU were correct
Thank you!
Thank you so much
You're welcome! Thanks for watching.
Love your work
Thank you so much 😀
Ur good. Thanks for information great video. GOD BLESS U
Thank you! And God bless you too!😊Glad this was helpful.
My brother is like this
I see the metaphor using these people they create all this chaos you know flying monkeys triangulation all this stuff and then they just stand there like their the the victim or the good one and watch everybody kind of like you know a fire person or whatever
Fantastic advice I wish I had known a long time ago. Thank you for sharing 🙏
You're welcome!! And thank you 😊
Thank u so much for the video
You're welcome!!
Is there a video on how to smooth things over when a sociopathic realizes that you know what they are doing, such as trying to manipulate others?
This is a great question!!! Not yet but I will add this to my list for sure.
I have an answer run 🏃♀️!!!❤
@@AuthorAngieDeLisi yes lol
@@AuthorAngieDeLisi well what if you were dating 10 years, neighbors on dead end road farmland, farmer.... and you cant relocate. That's my dilemma. Tormenting as hell. Reliving daily. They sure get mean. Can you give examples if why to run? Please
Thank you.
You're welcome!
Excellent, used your strategies very helpfully today 😊
Thank you! I'm glad to hear this was helpful.
thank you for the video
You're welcome!
This is good but also sometimes it is not safe to not to respond/set a boundary.
Thank you so much for this Tamara, What an eye opener, I've paid attention and I'm very grateful for this, Absolutely tremendous, Peace , love, Respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the universe, The most high, God is great 🌲🦄🐶🕊👽☘🌷💜💜😃💙🌌✌🐎🐉😊😇🦁
Amen!! And you're welcome. Glad this was helpful to you!!
@@TherapistTamaraHill It was definitely helpful, Thank you again Tamara, Peace, love, Respect to you 😃🌌🌈💙💛❤💚💜😃
Question: aspd how can you not get wraped in when they want to start a fight with you. An how to handle when they have said or done something an they deny it an eather say they didn't say that it they blame you with it.
Run 🏃♀️
Great video...
Thank you!!
@@TherapistTamaraHill You are welcome Tamara.
I have a daughter that is on the far right of NARSSISSIT and she has triangulated my other children she has done so much damage over time it's a no win situation,I'm going no contact
Going no contact is best, Ignore a Narc will make them wonder what is going on, And then from that time they may try to get you back but ignoring them makes them weak and then they bored of you and leave u
It's been my experience that if someone spends enough time with them eventually they figure out this person isn't right. They also tend to target one or two people with manipulation games then move on to other people. This is just my opinion but you will get that phone call from the other kids one day that yeah the final straw happened. The reason it can take a while is they run assessments on who is likely to tolerate a little bit of s versus a lot. So the nicest people unfortunately are typically the ones who see the most wrongdoing
Literally every taxi driver I get ie trying to emotionally extort more money.
Thanks!!!!!!
Welcome! Thanks for watching.
Can you do a video on how to deal with a female sociopathic supervisor?
❤️
👍🏽
This is the male psychopath definition. Please do a FEMALE sociopath definition.
ruclips.net/video/HXE51E6HiHk/видео.html 😊
what about killing and torturing mice... im pretty sure thats far right
Oh
I have a daughter that is on the far right of NARSSISSIT and she has triangulated my other children she has done so much damage over time it's a no win situation,I'm going no contact