I feel as though you speak directly at me sometimes, as odd as that sounds. In fact, this video really meant a lot because I’ve thought about becoming a therapist for a long time, but every time I seriously consider the idea I talk myself out of it, just like you did. It really inspires me to see that you overcame that self doubt.
I have been struggling with self-criticism ever since I can remember. It's gotten to a point where it is crippling and stops me from living. This video lead me to tears and opened my eyes to a lot of the roots of my shame and self-criticism. Thank you for this.
Would you ever consider doing tele-therapy? Zoom sessions? I would sign up for that in a half a heartbeat. Please let me know if that would be possible to be able to talk to you.
You have such a presence about you that I can't explain This is your calling from God. You will change so many lives so desperately needing it. Be proud. You are amazing!
I think that self-criticism is what limits me in life, it is the biggest problem in my life, hell. I remember when I was young and I apply this self-criticism to everything I say and do. This is why people enjoy life and I am stuck in my head. I criticize everything I do and say it as if people are gods and I am their slave. But now I understand that life is short To criticize yourself for everything
I never really hit the bell for many channels but I did for this channel. Because I feel like we're having a one-on-one conversation with someone who just loves people and is learning to love themselves too. This is beautiful, and keep going! This is so inspiring and I need something like this often because it's so inspirational.
This is something that both my girlfriend and I struggle with. The things I’ve taken away from this video and many of your others are life-changing. I am going to take these lessons and use them to better myself and our relationship. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all that you do.
“Hey it’s okay, you matter. Like you can do this. Like this is really hard, and you’re figuring it out and there’s pieces here that you don’t have a full grasp of yet, but you’re learning and you’re trying, and if you keep pressing on, there’s hope.” I could feel the twitching in my muscles when you were saying this. Had to write it down for myself, whether I keep it in the notes on my phone, or I print a sheet with this on it. I doubted it, yet it hit home.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I have a vicious inner critic, which attacks most of all about the ways I try to prove that I am worthwhile. I had never heard my behavior described so accurately by another person.
Sir this absolutely brought me to tears! The last part is what I’m severely struggling with! No support! So it is bringing on severe doubt. Married 18 years 3 kids and no support structure. Severe depression and can’t figure out why. Ugh. Thank you for your content sir. I truly felt you were talking to my soul on this! 🙏🙏🙏
Idk why we need to suffer like this 😓 And i found out that im a prisoner. Not in reality. But MENTALLY! i couldn't imagine that life is so complicated when you get more older. And you will act like nothing is wrong with you. I might call my self a great actor. Even though my human body is not healthy anymore. And my spirit/soul is cheering me up for not giving up in life. And its still working! PS: my self criticism is working also while im writing this. And it took me a half of an hour before its done. Asd!
i know i needed to watch it because my self-criticism takes control of my thoughts when im not distracted (thats why always distracted) so when i did something i didnt do for a long time (because of my self-criticism) whichs writing a jornal, it came a lot stronger, it triggered me just like 5 years ago. i cried a lot because i feel an horrible sensation and fear and a belly pain. this is making me crazy the first thing you said about no one laughing also happened to me when i was 10, it was horrible😢
WOW...this made so much sense, especially the part about halfway through when you said .. "The actions that the shame inspires actually create more shame" and explained this so simply "The fear that I have is propelling me to act in a certain way that's bringing about the thing I fear" If only you were in the UK 🙏
Enlightening, as always. I swear, your brain works so much like mine in terms of where our insecurities are and our way we articulate words. This is perhaps more insightful and "seeing ME" than the last 6 months of bimonthly psychotherapy, DBT and medication. (Not to say those aren't still needed, but there's something about your mind that always connects the dots.) Thank you. Please know your insecurities are what help me. So whether your intentions to be good at one particular thing were achieved or not, you are still sowing seeds of benefit in others regardless. I'm others. 😂
Unlike self-critiques I am too nice to myself. As a child, I was made fun of a lot and had low self-esteem, and to cope with that I developed major narcissistic habits. it would be cool if you made a video of some sort explaining coping mechanisms for depression, stress, anxiety, or narcism. Love the channel!
I recently did an exam and did great - but not as great as I wanted to. The exam is quite difficult so most people would look at it and compliment my results, but I can't. In fact, I am ashamed of it so I didn't tell anyone. I started beating myself up and ended up with a lancinating pain in my head. That has been going on for a while and I got so fed up with it. I came across your video on my youtube homepage and I related to you so bad. My self-criticism when it comes to my academical achievements is so harsh it makes me more and more depressed and incapable of moving on. This really helped me see through the traumas I carry with me and also how I am holding myself back instead of pushing forward. I guess I have a long way to go, but hopefully I will get out of this. Thank you, this video is amazing!
So thankful I found you on TikTok!!! Even more thankful you are on RUclips!!!! Thank you for sharing a part of yourself in this video. I truly hope you know how awesome you are and how much you are helping me and others!!!!
You are amazing your gift is your compassion, the tone you speak with and your feelings are truly genuine. I’m glad I found you. What you have to say is very inspiring and healing. Thank you.
Your videos are extremely helpful. I find myself relating my experiences and seeking ways to cope or to ease out of my tense emotions. I strongly encourage you to keep doing what you do, because you’re not just changing my life, but so many others, and that’s a gift. I appreciate you!
ya u are right. Being rational always work. The other problem I see is we fall in a slippery slop worrying abt wht kind of result that our actions cause. Playing different scenarios in our head without any evidence of that happening.
I've been having problems of mostly everything I have heard you say so far, but up until now, I thought I was on my own to figure them out. I've been watching your videos for 2 days and already, it is like a weight I've been carrying has been lifted off of me. This is probably weird since there is so many yt channels out there, but I can never relate. As you said, some people don't realize their problem/s or admit them, so by telling us your experiences, it makes me understand that the extent of my issue, that it is okay, and that there's ways to help. I have troubles sleeping due to imposing thoughts, but also because my mind is hyperactive and my body is heavy/ tired. Thanks so much for you dedication on helping others. You're a real superhero 🦸♂️❤😙
This really was helpful, I also was held back in elementary and that always made feel like I was dumber than everyone. But really never hit me until you said your own story. I will try to not let my self criticism get in the way of me being successful.
Love these videos! The part I’m taking away is “sawing off the branch you’re sitting on”. Oh how I can do that. It’s slow and damaging, and to recognize it was an ah-ha moment.
My wife, sweetness most tender woman ever...and I were just sitting on the couch and she had just had a melt down because of trying to pick out food for our weight watchers and she asked me why is it I’m afraid of failing and so hard on myself. It can really bring her down. And I said wait Matthias has talked about this. I came right to this video and got to the part about how self-criticism is trying to protect you from shame. She immediately cried. She’s said that’s it. Thanks for helping us generate some conversation. It breaks my heart when she does this to herself.
You’re brilliant and I think you’re an enfp- the type that understands the impact of a story’s narrative on the masses more than any other type and also who motivates and nurtures potential in people by offering them possibilities of what they could want and where the could go and where it’s actually good and valuable for them to go 💕🙏👍 God Bless
Hi, I found you on Tiktok and i’ve just been hooked listening to all of your opinions or knowledge on so many topics. I dealt/still deal with a lot of childhood/generational trauma and your videos really help me, especially your video on “forgiving your parents”. I hope I get to have a session with you one day.
I say this with as little exaggeration as I hope to convey: This is among the most relatable videos I have watched.Thank you so much. I hope you have a nice day.
You are NOT just another guy. You are so welcoming and anyone watching this feels warmth and feel better after watching you. You should do a podcast and just talk about life with like minded people.
Thank you so much for sharing. I can definitely relate. It’s so difficult to change that thought process. My conscious mind knows the difference but my subconscious tends to over power. One day at a time!!!
As someone who has attempted 4 times and gone to therapy for suicidal depression. The sentiment that "Giving up is a more reasonable conclusion that trying harder." Is a more relevant and personally valuable understanding to have. Not that it is true, but through the recognition that you view life that way you can understand why it is wrong and grow.
I struggle with self criticism every day. Only people who see my self criticism is the people I feel I rely on most. My parents and family don't see it. Id love to have you as my therapist. You seem very calming.
My self criticism has manifested into full blown self hatred and I can’t seem to conquer it. I feel like I’m drowning. I see not one thing positive about myself. 😭
If you struggled with academics it may be because your more right brained (if that’s still a thing) because your more empathetic, practical and thoughtful where the rubber meets the road. I never thought about this before but perhaps A students are more left brained. In your profession you need that right brained sphere to excel in your profession the rest is your life. So maybe the grades don’t matter as much as you learning what you don’t know to ADD to your natural gifting? We need those lifer brained engineers to build our planes and such but we need empathy when it comes to humans. Your so so good and you speak right into the camera that has got to feel weird but it looks like it’s not there. It looks like your talking to us! Your perfect at what your gifting are. The academic part is to get you where you need to go. I know ppl wear academics as a badge but it’s all meant to teach you what you don’t know.
dude a podcast would be a game changer
Yasss!!!! 🧐👏🏼
Yep. I have already put Mr. Barker on my list of folks I would love to interview.
Yes please!!!
Pleaseeeeee do a podcast
I was just about to comment this!!!!!
I’ve literally just cried about not knowing what I want to do with my future and my ability to pursue a career in my degree an hour ago
Me too everyday
43 and still there. I hope you get that direction that fulfills you!
I feel as though you speak directly at me sometimes, as odd as that sounds. In fact, this video really meant a lot because I’ve thought about becoming a therapist for a long time, but every time I seriously consider the idea I talk myself out of it, just like you did. It really inspires me to see that you overcame that self doubt.
'Treat yourself like you treat someone you love. Thats how you achieve self love'❤
I need you as my therpaist. I've never listened to someone who has made this much of an impact on me in 16 minutes.
Absolutely agree!
I have been struggling with self-criticism ever since I can remember. It's gotten to a point where it is crippling and stops me from living. This video lead me to tears and opened my eyes to a lot of the roots of my shame and self-criticism. Thank you for this.
I have struggled so much with this ! I need to show compassion to others and myself.
Yes it's so crippling ! Thanks for sharing this !
Would you ever consider doing tele-therapy? Zoom sessions? I would sign up for that in a half a heartbeat. Please let me know if that would be possible to be able to talk to you.
I second this!
Third!
i also would love to do tele-therapy with him, i feel oddly safe watching his videos
You can’t fake authenticity.
He’s fantastic
true right. I was happy for him but also slightly sad that he’s so over booked as a therapist as well.
Hey you...I'm glad you exist.
You have such a presence about you that I can't explain
This is your calling from God. You will change so many lives so desperately needing it. Be proud. You are amazing!
I think that self-criticism is what limits me in life, it is the biggest problem in my life, hell. I remember when I was young and I apply this self-criticism to everything I say and do. This is why people enjoy life and I am stuck in my head. I criticize everything I do and say it as if people are gods and I am their slave. But now I understand that life is short To criticize yourself for everything
I never really hit the bell for many channels but I did for this channel. Because I feel like we're having a one-on-one conversation with someone who just loves people and is learning to love themselves too. This is beautiful, and keep going! This is so inspiring and I need something like this often because it's so inspirational.
This is something that both my girlfriend and I struggle with. The things I’ve taken away from this video and many of your others are life-changing. I am going to take these lessons and use them to better myself and our relationship. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all that you do.
This is definitely my comfort video when I find myself snowballing into anxiety, worry, and self criticism, it helps calm me down
“Hey it’s okay, you matter. Like you can do this. Like this is really hard, and you’re figuring it out and there’s pieces here that you don’t have a full grasp of yet, but you’re learning and you’re trying, and if you keep pressing on, there’s hope.”
I could feel the twitching in my muscles when you were saying this. Had to write it down for myself, whether I keep it in the notes on my phone, or I print a sheet with this on it. I doubted it, yet it hit home.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I have a vicious inner critic, which attacks most of all about the ways I try to prove that I am worthwhile. I had never heard my behavior described so accurately by another person.
You saying there is hope has had me crying non stop. I have felt like there is just no hope for so long.
I'm becoming a counselor now, and this is helping me so much♡ peer support for peer support. Thank you. Please don't stop making these videos!
Sir this absolutely brought me to tears! The last part is what I’m severely struggling with! No support! So it is bringing on severe doubt. Married 18 years 3 kids and no support structure. Severe depression and can’t figure out why. Ugh. Thank you for your content sir. I truly felt you were talking to my soul on this! 🙏🙏🙏
Idk why we need to suffer like this 😓
And i found out that im a prisoner. Not in reality. But MENTALLY! i couldn't imagine that life is so complicated when you get more older. And you will act like nothing is wrong with you. I might call my self a great actor. Even though my human body is not healthy anymore. And my spirit/soul is cheering me up for not giving up in life. And its still working!
PS: my self criticism is working also while im writing this. And it took me a half of an hour before its done. Asd!
i know i needed to watch it because my self-criticism takes control of my thoughts when im not distracted (thats why always distracted) so when i did something i didnt do for a long time (because of my self-criticism) whichs writing a jornal, it came a lot stronger, it triggered me just like 5 years ago. i cried a lot because i feel an horrible sensation and fear and a belly pain. this is making me crazy
the first thing you said about no one laughing also happened to me when i was 10, it was horrible😢
WOW...this made so much sense, especially the part about halfway through when you said ..
"The actions that the shame inspires actually create more shame" and explained this so simply
"The fear that I have is propelling me to act in a certain way that's bringing about the thing I fear"
If only you were in the UK 🙏
Enlightening, as always. I swear, your brain works so much like mine in terms of where our insecurities are and our way we articulate words. This is perhaps more insightful and "seeing ME" than the last 6 months of bimonthly psychotherapy, DBT and medication. (Not to say those aren't still needed, but there's something about your mind that always connects the dots.) Thank you. Please know your insecurities are what help me. So whether your intentions to be good at one particular thing were achieved or not, you are still sowing seeds of benefit in others regardless. I'm others. 😂
Unlike self-critiques I am too nice to myself. As a child, I was made fun of a lot and had low self-esteem, and to cope with that I developed major narcissistic habits. it would be cool if you made a video of some sort explaining coping mechanisms for depression, stress, anxiety, or narcism. Love the channel!
I just want to say thank you for all of your videos and for what you do. I really appreciate it Matthias:)
I recently did an exam and did great - but not as great as I wanted to. The exam is quite difficult so most people would look at it and compliment my results, but I can't. In fact, I am ashamed of it so I didn't tell anyone. I started beating myself up and ended up with a lancinating pain in my head. That has been going on for a while and I got so fed up with it. I came across your video on my youtube homepage and I related to you so bad. My self-criticism when it comes to my academical achievements is so harsh it makes me more and more depressed and incapable of moving on. This really helped me see through the traumas I carry with me and also how I am holding myself back instead of pushing forward. I guess I have a long way to go, but hopefully I will get out of this. Thank you, this video is amazing!
I apologize for any possible grammar mistakes! English is not my first language :)
You englighted the real thing inside , thanks man ❤️
So thankful I found you on TikTok!!! Even more thankful you are on RUclips!!!! Thank you for sharing a part of yourself in this video. I truly hope you know how awesome you are and how much you are helping me and others!!!!
You are an amazing soul. I absolutely find you so relatable and compassionate and real. You just got a life long fan.
I've needed help with this for so long and this gives me hope, thank you
Thank you! I love your videos! Sometimes it feels like you are talking directly to me💗
Thank you so much Mathias. I was meant to hear this today.
Thank you for providing skills and tools. I really appreciate it.
I am just mesmerised by your videos, they are SO helpful thank you!
Your videos are life changing. Thank you!
You are amazing your gift is your compassion, the tone you speak with and your feelings are truly genuine. I’m glad I found you. What you have to say is very inspiring and healing. Thank you.
You’re providing us with exactly what we all need right now ❤️
This is immensely useful. Thank you Matthias
Your videos are extremely helpful. I find myself relating my experiences and seeking ways to cope or to ease out of my tense emotions. I strongly encourage you to keep doing what you do, because you’re not just changing my life, but so many others, and that’s a gift. I appreciate you!
i struggle with a lot of self hate trauma anxiety and depression and you just make me feel so safe🥺😕
ya u are right. Being rational always work. The other problem I see is we fall in a slippery slop worrying abt wht kind of result that our actions cause. Playing different scenarios in our head without any evidence of that happening.
the lighting in your videos always makes me feel so comfortable
Thank you for these tips. I really needed to hear this.
I've been having problems of mostly everything I have heard you say so far, but up until now, I thought I was on my own to figure them out. I've been watching your videos for 2 days and already, it is like a weight I've been carrying has been lifted off of me. This is probably weird since there is so many yt channels out there, but I can never relate. As you said, some people don't realize their problem/s or admit them, so by telling us your experiences, it makes me understand that the extent of my issue, that it is okay, and that there's ways to help. I have troubles sleeping due to imposing thoughts, but also because my mind is hyperactive and my body is heavy/ tired.
Thanks so much for you dedication on helping others. You're a real superhero 🦸♂️❤😙
Thank you for posting this. I came here from tiktok following you and am glad I did.
This really was helpful, I also was held back in elementary and that always made feel like I was dumber than everyone. But really never hit me until you said your own story. I will try to not let my self criticism get in the way of me being successful.
Love these videos! The part I’m taking away is “sawing off the branch you’re sitting on”. Oh how I can do that. It’s slow and damaging, and to recognize it was an ah-ha moment.
My wife, sweetness most tender woman ever...and I were just sitting on the couch and she had just had a melt down because of trying to pick out food for our weight watchers and she asked me why is it I’m afraid of failing and so hard on myself. It can really bring her down. And I said wait Matthias has talked about this. I came right to this video and got to the part about how self-criticism is trying to protect you from shame. She immediately cried. She’s said that’s it. Thanks for helping us generate some conversation. It breaks my heart when she does this to herself.
You’re brilliant and I think you’re an enfp- the type that understands the impact of a story’s narrative on the masses more than any other type and also who motivates and nurtures potential in people by offering them possibilities of what they could want and where the could go and where it’s actually good and valuable for them to go 💕🙏👍 God Bless
Wow just wow. Grateful to hear these words of wisdom shared… ♥️
Love your stuff man. So encouraging, keep it up!
Hi, I found you on Tiktok and i’ve just been hooked listening to all of your opinions or knowledge on so many topics. I dealt/still deal with a lot of childhood/generational trauma and your videos really help me, especially your video on “forgiving your parents”. I hope I get to have a session with you one day.
Thank you for sharing this. It givese a lot of feedback to think about. I love the way you explained it. 😁❤️
This was really helpful, thank you sharing your experience and the suggestions for changing that negative inner critic self talk. 👍👍👍🥰
@matthias, God bless you for your wisdom
I seriously needed this today.
Your voice is so soothing. I could listen to you all the time to calm down. Or when I need to cry. Please make more
This was very helpful! Looking forward to more videos from you! Thank you for sharing.
I say this with as little exaggeration as I hope to convey:
This is among the most relatable videos I have watched.Thank you so much. I hope you have a nice day.
You are NOT just another guy. You are so welcoming and anyone watching this feels warmth and feel better after watching you. You should do a podcast and just talk about life with like minded people.
I needed to watch this today.
Thank you.
You are great at this 👏 explaining this
you have such a great way of speaking and keeping people engaged in your story. Keep it up!!!
wow! thank u for your videos!
This was a wonderful video! I am going to see my therapist tomorrow and self criticism is definitely gonna be my topic of discussion.
Excellent video, I've just subscribed, thank you 🤝
I can really relate with you Matthias. I feel the exact same way.
AMAZING!!! Thank you does not begin to address how thankful I am.. but Thank you!!
I.....never thought about it that way 🥺 I love your videos so much.
Don't ever change, you are incredible in your every aspect, I'd love to see you and brene together
Thank you so much for sharing. I can definitely relate. It’s so difficult to change that thought process. My conscious mind knows the difference but my subconscious tends to over power. One day at a time!!!
Are are fantastic. Thank you for your work
Amazing!!!!! Thank you 🙂
I have the same insecurities and self-criticism. Thank you.
You are amazing
Dope video!! Thank you!
As someone who has attempted 4 times and gone to therapy for suicidal depression. The sentiment that "Giving up is a more reasonable conclusion that trying harder." Is a more relevant and personally valuable understanding to have. Not that it is true, but through the recognition that you view life that way you can understand why it is wrong and grow.
Thanks, you helped me realize what the self-criticism was doing to me.
I struggle with self criticism every day. Only people who see my self criticism is the people I feel I rely on most. My parents and family don't see it. Id love to have you as my therapist. You seem very calming.
Thank You 🙂💓
I loved your advice, thank you so much. I would love if you could make a video on INFJ personality types and how we can understand ourselves.
Your amazing x
Wow this is what I live with every day. I’ve never heard it said out loud.
More long form content would be great to see!
So good.
You have a gift and sometimes that gift is very different then the thing you are judging yourself against.
Thank you so much for that trick I am going to try it
really does help thank u 🤍
thank you for this!
🥺❤️❤️❤️
Thank you
Subscribed. ✊❤️🇺🇸
Thank you
My self criticism has manifested into full blown self hatred and I can’t seem to conquer it. I feel like I’m drowning. I see not one thing positive about myself. 😭
Thank you!!!!!❤️
If you struggled with academics it may be because your more right brained (if that’s still a thing) because your more empathetic, practical and thoughtful where the rubber meets the road.
I never thought about this before but perhaps A students are more left brained. In your profession you need that right brained sphere to excel in your profession the rest is your life. So maybe the grades don’t matter as much as you learning what you don’t know to ADD to your natural gifting? We need those lifer brained engineers to build our planes and such but we need empathy when it comes to humans. Your so so good and you speak right into the camera that has got to feel weird but it looks like it’s not there. It looks like your talking to us! Your perfect at what your gifting are. The academic part is to get you where you need to go. I know ppl wear academics as a badge but it’s all meant to teach you what you don’t know.
Can you do some of your longer videos on RUclips with the music you use on Tiktok? So calming!
Thank you 💛
Cam here from tiktok, you deserve so maybe more views
Thank you.
I would have laughed
I am my own worst enemy . I’m always feeling not good enough for anything.